


The Prince of Clowns

by CrazyJanaCat



Category: Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Angst, Bestiality, Child Abuse, Come as Lube, Dark Harry Potter, Double Penetration, Dragons, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Exhibitionism, First Time, Humiliation, Infidelity, Insane Harry Potter, Insanity, Manipulation, Masochism, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Reversible Couple, Rough Sex, Sadism, Sexual Fantasy, Slytherin Harry Potter, Underage Drinking, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, to be rewritten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:03:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 94
Words: 268,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6626215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyJanaCat/pseuds/CrazyJanaCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joker never understood why his brother took destiny and prophesy so serious (or anything for that matter. He really needed to smile more). The future wasn’t set in stone after all. Besides, wasn’t it much more fun to corrupt the child, shape him to their image of insanity and chaos, instead of killing him? He certainly thought so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost Brothers

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Polski available: [Książę Klaunów](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10067612) by [Iocus_Mortifero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iocus_Mortifero/pseuds/Iocus_Mortifero)



> Hi! So I did something really stupid and I started a new story while the other ones are still waiting to be finished.  
> This one is with a Joker's Heir Harry, so a lot of insanity, violence, and all that other jazz. You have been warned :p
> 
> Anyway, so this starts a few months after Arkham origins and continues on through Harry's time at Hogwarts and into Arkham Asylum, Arkham City and ends with Arkham Knight.  
> Or, that is the plan anyway. I haven't written the whole thing yeat after all.

Joker rarely ventured back into the Wizarding World, but every now and then, he felt the need to reconnect with his past. This time, he noted, it had been extra-long. Since his arrival at Gotham, meeting the Batman, or reuniting with the Batman, not that that overgrown flying rodent still remembered, he hadn’t even thought about the Wizarding World. Hell, it had been about 5 years now since he’d last heard anything from his brother at this point.

He wasn’t exactly keen on returning anywhere near those silly, wand waving morons. The Muggle World was much more interesting to him, more variety, more creativity. The Muggle World was a blank canvas, waiting to be painted on by him. Still, sometimes, like now, the need to return was strong enough to move him into acting. Besides, it was time he got Harley acquainted with this side of the world.

He’d used a glamour to look like he had before the accident. Paper white skin turned regular pale, green hair turned dark brown, just his eyes were the same. He was wearing bright purple robes, while Harley wore red ones. The young blonde was staring at everything in awe as they strolled through the Bludhaven Wizarding shopping district. The young female muggle was over the moon with this entirely new world opened up to her.

“What’s that over there, Mistah J?” Harley asked excitedly.

Joker had told her about magic two weeks ago, and this was the very first time he’d taken her with him into the Wizarding World. Not that he had gone without her since escaping Arkham with her help. Still, he guessed she deserved a little treat, and he himself could do with a bit of catching up. He wanted to know what he had missed since he left. Who knows, maybe  something was going on he wanted to be a part of, unlikely, but hey! You never knew, right?

“Quodpot supply shop,” the disguised murder clown replied.

He looked up, finding the young woman had already skipped away towards the shop, now pressing her nose completely against the glass of the shop as she stared at the brooms. Joker grinned and shook his head fondly. Harley had been with him now for almost six months. It had been half a year since she busted him out of Arkham. He was honestly surprised to find he actually enjoyed her company most of the time. The affection was annoying, but useful.

“Wonderful day, isn’t it?” a British voice spoke up a bit further.  
“Almost Al Hallows Eve. A day to celebrate.”

Joker raised a brow in curiosity and walked over to the where the Brit was talking with some shopkeeper. The man was wearing a simple black cloak and had greying hair, while the shopkeeper was a chubby man in his mid-thirties, with thin brown hair and a burgundy cloak with a nametag. Applebaum, it said, and Joker almost had a laughing fit at the name. His chuckle earned him a slight glare of the shopkeeper, but the man quickly turned back to his conversation.

“Celebrate what?” the shopkeeper asked curiously.

The Brit raised a brow at the question, looking as if the man was an idiot for not knowing, and that earned him the same type of glare Joker had received earlier. The man chuckled a bit and spread his arms wide.

“Why, the fourth year anniversary of You-Know-Who’s demise of course!”

At the exclamation, Joker tensed. Last he’d heard of his brother, people feared to speak his name. But Tommy had become immortal when he was only 16 years old. Maybe not physically, but he sure as hell couldn’t die anymore. It couldn’t be him they meant with that nickname, right? No way Tommy would’ve gotten himself killed.

“What if I Don’t-know-who?” Joker asked, grinning at the two of them.

“Well… the Dark Lord of course!” the Brit spoke, smiling brightly.  
“Destroyed by young Harry Potter, the Boy Who Loved!”

Joker’s eyes darkened as he heard that, but he kept on smiling at the men, who were slowly getting uncomfortable by it. Not that surprising of course. There was nothing friendly in Joker’s grin.

“Harry Potter, huh?” he asked darkly, grin widening even more as he saw the Brit blanch.  
“Now what did that boy-who-lived do exactly to ‘kill’ the Dark Lord?”

“No one knows. The news is that You-Know-Who went to the Potters to kill them all on Halloween 4 years ago, and next we heard, the house basically exploded. When investigators got to the scene, James and Lilly Potter were dead, so was the Dark Lord, but little Harry was unharmed, just the scar, and considering they found all that remained of the Dark Lord in front of his crib, it’s widely believed the child is the reason of his demise.”

Even though the man was still very uncomfortable by Joker’s presence, he was eager to tell the tale. The man’s dark eyes were sparkling with pride and hope, and Joker wanted to crush it so very badly. He kept it in though. This conversation had brought more important matters to the front of his mind.

“How interesting,” Joker murmured chuckling.

His brother had told him about the Prophesy back when that spy of his first told him about it. He’d asked Joker to come back to Britain to help him find and destroy the boy, as the Prophesy had only spoken about defeating one Dark Lord. However, Joker had known that Tom hoped that this way, it would be Joker to die at the hands of the Prophesy Child and not himself. Joker had never been interested in becoming a Dark Lord though, and he had declined, saying that he might change his mind if Tom knew the whole Prophesy and not just half. Clearly, the older twin had been too impatient to find out the other half and had gone ahead and tried to kill the kid by himself. Really, it was his own damn fault he got himself blown up.

He turned around abruptly, stalking away from the two talking men, uncaring of the strange looks they kept on him as he walked over to where Harley was looking at some Wizarding pastries. He grabbed one of her ponytails and dragged her away, ignoring the shout of pain and surprise that came from the girl, or the shocked and scandalized stares he received from the people around them.

“What’s goin’ on mistah J?” the girl squeaked as she rushed to match Joker’s steps.

“We’re going to England. There’s a little boy that’s _dying_ to get to know us!” Joker replied darkly before spinning on his heels and apparating, Harley’s hair still in his grip.

.              .              .               .              .

“Boy!”

Harry flinched at the loud, booming voice of his uncle and quickly scurried back inside. He’d been tending the garden for the past three hours, and he wasn’t entirely done yet, but if his uncle called for him, he preferred to do what he said and anger his aunt than the other way around. Uncle Vernon could hit a lot harder. He stopped in his tracks in the living room, where he found a beautiful young woman with blond hair pulled back in a high bun and stylish glasses pushed up on her nose. She smiled brightly at him, and Harry couldn’t help but blush.

“Hello, Harry,” the woman greeted in a, to Harry, strange accent.  
“My name is Dr. Harleen Quinzel. I was asked to do a psychiatric evaluation.”

“A-a what?” Harry asked quietly, eyes wide as he stared at her.

“I’m just going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer truthfully.”

“Good luck with that,” Uncle Vernon snorted.  
“The boy lies about nearly everything.”

Harry scowled at him, but didn’t dare correct him. Harry rarely ever lied, but the Dursleys kept telling everyone he did. Most everyone in the neighborhood believed them of course, and because of that, no one wanted to be his friend.

“I’ll be the judge of that!” Dr. Quinzel muttered in a cheerful tone.

Vernon grumbled something before walking away, leaving Harry and Dr. Quinzel alone. The doctor grinned brightly at Harry again and pulled out a note pad and a pen.

“So… what do you know about your parents?” she asked.

“Uhm… not much,” Harry muttered quietly, frowning a bit confused.  
“They died in a car accident when I was small, and they were bad people. That’s what uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia say.”

Dr. Quinzel scowled and nodded, writing something down on her pad before looking back at Harry with a strange expression. Harry swallowed and looked away, fearful that he’d said something wrong. The woman hummed in thought, tapping her pen against the pad for a little while as she thought about another question to ask Harry.

“What about magic?” the woman suddenly asked, startling Harry into looking back up at her.

“Wh-what?”

“Do you believe in magic?”

Harry’s eyes grew wide in terror and tears started to leak out. Again, the doctor frowned.

“M-magic isn’t r-real!” Harry quickly told her, eyes flitting around the room nervously.

Dr. Quinzel leaned forward and put a comforting hand on Harry’s leg, scowl deepening as the young child flinched away from the touch as if expecting pain. Large green eyes, almost the same color as her Mr. J’s, stared at her fearfully, making her heart melt in an instant.

“Let’s focus on something else, alright?” she suggested softly.  
“How about your birthdate? Can you tell me?”

“July 31,” Harry mumbled quietly, calming down a bit.

Dr. Quinzel grinned widely and quickly jotted it down on the notepad. Harry scowled, confused at the strange questions, but he didn’t say a thing about it of course. He was just a little kid. Maybe this was normal and he was just a freak, like his relatives kept telling him.

“Have you ever done something you couldn’t explain?” Dr. Quinzel asked.

“… My teacher’s hair turned blue last week because I was angry at him,” the child muttered, eyeing the doctor warily.

“And how is that not magical?” she wondered grinning.

Again, Harry tensed. He trembled in fear at the question, looking away from the doctor and wrapping his arms around himself. He glanced towards the door, half expecting his uncle to burst through, screaming magic wasn’t real and hitting Harry, like he’d done many times before.

“It’s not. Magic isn’t real,” he said stubbornly.  
“If it was, magic would be evil and wrong and unnatural. I’m just a freak, just like my parents. They were bad people says uncle Vernon, and I’ll be a bad person too… do-do you think I’m bad?”

He glanced up at Dr. Quinzel, eyes big and watery as he waited for her reply, begging with his eyes to tell him otherwise. The woman smiled gently at him and leaned a bit closer again, putting her hand on the child’s leg in a comforting gesture, smile widening when Harry didn’t flinch away this time.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a little bad, hun,” she told him softly.  
“It makes you special and unique. If that means you’re a freak, then all the best people in the world are freaks.”

 


	2. The Boy in the Cupboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for liking and commenting to this story! Because a lot of you seem really into this, I'll try to update twice a week from now on so you won't have to wait too long.

Harry was doing the dishes after dinner. The Dursleys all sitting in front of the TV, watching some game show where Vernon kept yelling the answers, huffing indignantly whenever he was wrong and muttering something about the incompetence of the show host. His stomach growled angrily, as Harry hadn’t finished his other tasks in time to get any food himself. He wanted to take the leftovers, but was too afraid of what his aunt might do to him if she noticed. She scared him a lot with her ability to see everything, even with her back turned.

Still, as his stomach growled again, Harry dared to steal some bread crusts off Dudley’s plate before dropping it in the soapy water. He put the food quickly in his mouth, glancing over to the living room to find his relatives all still transfixed on the TV. He swallowed the bread down quickly, smiling in relief of not being caught and he continued washing the plates.

He grabbed the pots and pans off the table, quickly putting the leftovers in plastic pots and put them in the fridge. Still hungry, he couldn’t help himself from stealing a chicken leg from one of the pots before putting them away.

He barely shut the fridge or a force collided with the back of his head. Harry stumbled forward, his hands slamming down on the counter top harshly in an attempt to keep himself upright. Quickly, the young boy turned his head to see who had hit him, eyes widening in fear as he saw his aunt’s rage twisted expression. The thin woman sneered down at him.

“What do you think you’re doing, you horrible boy?!” she screeched.

Harry winced at the volume and turned to face his angry aunt fully. He pressed his back against the counter, staring wide eyed as uncle Vernon walked in to see what the commotion was about.

“What did the boy do this time?” he asked, glaring at Harry, making the boy shrink into himself in fear.

“The ungrateful brat stole food again!” aunt Petunia exclaimed furious.

She slapped Harry in the face, making the boy whimper but not cry out. He’d gotten quite used to being hurt by now after all, a simple slap to the cheek was nothing, even though he was still only 5. He looked back up, just in time to see Vernon’s face turn purple with rage.

“You little freak! Don’t you think we give you enough?!” uncle Vernon bellowed.

“… Yes uncle Vernon,” Harry said quietly.

“Aren’t you grateful that we took you in, clothed you, fed you, housed you, and ask so little in return?!”

“Yes uncle Vernon,” Harry said again, looking down at the floor as tears beaded in the corners of his eyes.

“Then WHY do you steal from us!” the man roared at the top of his lungs.

“I’m sorry! I was just really hungry and I didn’t think you’d miss it!” Harry cried out.

Another smack against his cheek sent him crashing to the ground and he hit his head against the counter top on his way down. He shouted this time, feeling blood slowly trickle down from his forehead and he lifted a trembling hand to protect his head from any other blows.

Vernon growled in anger and grabbed Harry’s wrist, squeezing had enough to make the boy flinch in pain. After 4 years with the Dursleys Harry had learned what would end up bruising and what didn’t, and this definitely would. Maybe it would even swell up.

He was pulled to his feet roughly and dragged out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Harry didn’t struggle as uncle Vernon pulled open the door to his cupboard and shoved him inside. The door slammed closed behind Harry, leaving him completely in the dark. A soft click indicated that the small door was locked. He sighed sadly, rubbing his hurt cheek with his uninjured hand as he crawled onto his cot and closed his eyes. Maybe he could try and sleep a little bit.

Sometime later, though Harry had no way in telling just how much, he woke up from a very insistent knocking on the door. It confused him a little, as the Dursleys had a very nice looking doorbell that was definitely not broken, because only this morning had they been visited by some neighbors. They had locked Harry back into his cupboard for the entire duration of the visit of course.

He shook himself out of his musings as he heard uncle Vernon stumble loudly out of the living room and past his cupboard, grumbling something about uncivilized hooligans and how he wasn’t going to buy anything from whoever it was.

“Hello there my good man!” he heard a cheerful male voice say as soon as the door opened.

“I’m not buying anything!” uncle Vernon barked.

“Good, good! Because I’m not selling anything!”

A small scuffle happened by the door, ending with Vernon squeaking indignantly. Harry became curious and shuffled closer to his closed door, pressing his ears against it to try and hear more of what was going on out there.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” Vernon bellowed.  
“Get out of my house you circus freaks-“

A loud ‘thunk’ went through the house, followed with the sound of something heavy falling on the floor.

“Thanks, Harley dear!” the unfamiliar male voice laughed.

The laugh was a bit high pitched and didn’t sound friendly at all. In fact, it made goosebumps raise all over Harry’s arms and neck. And he was overwhelmed with the urge to hide somewhere. Not that he really needed to. Who would think to look for a little boy in the cupboard after all.

“Anytime Mistah J!” a female spoke cheerfully.

The sound of that voice made Harry tense in shock. He recognized it as the strange doctor lady that had come to talk to him the day before. What was she doing here, and why had she knocked his uncle out cold? Because that was what he guessed had happened. The shuffling of feet indicated that Petunia and Dudley had come into the hallway as well.

“Vernon? What are you- Oh my God!” he heard aunt Petunia exclaim.

“That’s very nice of you, sweetheart, but you can just call me Joker,” the strange man cackled.

“What did you do to my husband?!” aunt Petunia screamed horrified.

“His blood pressure was getting a little high, so I had Harley give him something calming,” the strange man chuckled darkly.

Again, Harry could feel his hair stand up at the tone of the man’s voice. He tried to imagine a face with that voice, but he really couldn’t think of anything that would fit. He was pretty sure that whoever he was, he wasn’t someone to mess with. Harry could practically feel the power and danger oozing through the closed door.

There was something really dark about the man outside, and it attracted Harry as much as it made him scared. He wasn’t sure anymore if he wanted to burst out of the cupboard to meet this man, or hide and hope he would never be found by him.

“Alright! How about you tell me where to find the kid so we can move on to the main party?”

It stayed quiet for a long moment, the only thing that could be heard was the nervous shuffling coming from aunt Petunia and Dudley. Harry contemplated calling out to let them know he was there, because who else could they be looking for when they mentioned a kid, right? Turned out, he didn’t need to.

“In there?” the strange man asked, tutting in disappointment.  
“And people call me a bad guy. Get him out Harley.”

“Sure thing Mistah J!”

Harry quickly moved away from the door, cowering as the locks were undone and the door swung open. He had expected the lady to look like she had done a few days ago, but instead, she was barely even recognizable. She wore a black and red harlequin suit with hat and all, and her face was covered under a lair of clown make up and a domino mask.

“Hiya Kiddo! Wanna come out and play?” the woman giggled.

Harry shivered in fear, but still did as she said. He blinked a few times against the light in the hall. His aunt and cousin were standing near the kitchen entrance, while his uncle was a big lump next to the open front door. Between them, stood a tall, skinny man wearing a large purple coat and a purple fedora. Harry swallowed nervously. The vibes coming off that man were so powerful and intoxicating.

“Excuse me, sir, uh, who-who’re you?” he asked quietly.

“So polite!” the man exclaimed giggling.

He took a few steps closer to Harry and took of his hat, bowing gracefully. Harry’s eyes widened when he saw the man’s face. His skin was all white, and a large red smile was painted on his lips and cheeks. He had green eyes, just like Harry, and bright green hair. He looked a bit like a clown, but a scary one.

“I’m the Joker!” the man introduced himself cheerfully.  
“And that beautiful lady is Harley Quinn.”

“I’m Harry Potter. Nice to meet you,” Harry replied.

He felt completely at ease for some reason. All his nerves had disappeared the moment he looked in Joker’s eyes. He saw a strange glint in them, something wild and _freakish_ like his uncle would say, but maybe that was why he wasn’t afraid of Joker anymore, because he was a freak too.

“Now, Harry,” Joker started calmly, grinning at the boy.  
“Harley told me something very… **_disturbing_. ** It appears your… loving family… has been lying to you for quite some time now.”

Harry scowled in confusion.

“What do you mean, Mr. Joker?” he asked quietly.

The man grinned even wider at his question, and Harry could see his aunt and cousin shiver in fear at the sight of it. He guessed it was scary, but somehow, he couldn’t feel it like they did. There was just something about Joker than felt familiar to him, _safe_.

“Well, about your parents for one,” Joker started, grin widening as aunt Petunia tensed.

“Shut up! I won’t have him hear any more of this nonsense!” she hissed, taking a step closer.

Joker’s eyes darkened and he took one large step towards the woman. He swiped, smacking her across the face hard enough to leave it red and have her lose her balance. Dudley whimpered in fear as Petunia shouted and fell to the floor. Harry too was startled. The trust that had started to grow at seeing Joker started falling away and new specs of doubt build in his chest.

“I’LL TELL HIM WHATEVER THE FUCK I LIKE!” the green haired man screamed, before falling into a fit of giggles.

Harry flinched at the volume and backed up a bit, only to bump into Harley. The dressed up lady giggled along with Joker and grabbed Harry’s shoulders, shoving him towards the green haired stranger.

“Why don’t you tell ‘im already, puddin’?” she asked.

“I’m getting there, Harl!” the man snarled, this time even making the weird woman flinch.

Then, suddenly, all anger was again gone from the man’s face, replaced by manic glee as he leaned into Harry’s space, bending down until their noses almost touched. Harry swallowed fearfully, but stayed stock still, scared of what the madman would do if he tried to back away.

“First of all, mommy and daddy didn’t die in a car. They were brutally murdered. And secondly,” here, Joker lowered his voice to a deep scratchy tone as if mocking someone.  
“ _Yer a wizard, Harry_.”

Harry blinked in confusion.

“… What?” he asked.

“Magic! A wand-waving, spell-shouting wizard!” Joker exclaimed loudly.  
“I’m one too! Err… was – they snapped my wand because I was too dangerous…”

That couldn’t mean anything good of course, and with the way aunt Petunia paled, it really wasn’t.

“But… magic isn’t real, is it?” Harry asked weakly, doubting his own words.

Joker grinned widely at that and walked over to Harry’s unconscious uncle. He waved his hand over the man’s fat face a few times. Nothing happened and Joker just chuckled again, looking at Harry.

“Look at this, kiddo!” he laughed.  
“ _Renervate_!”

He waved his hands over uncle Vernon’s face again and this time, tiny green sparks flew from his fingertips, striking the large unconscious man. Vernon bolted in a sitting position with a loud gasp, eyes wild as he took in his surroundings.

“What the- You!” he shouted as he saw Joker crouching in front of him.

“Me!” the green haired man laughed joyously.

“You-you’re one of those _freaks_ aren’t you?” Vernon growled scrambling up from the ground.

“FREAK?! Why yes, I definitely am!” Joker laughed gleefully.  
“But not like the ‘them’ you’re talking about. Try the opposite.”

“What the bloody hell does that mean?!” uncle Vernon hissed furiously.

Joker chuckled and turned away from the man to address the rest of them with a wide, dramatic movement of his arms.

“Has anyone here ever heard of _Lord Voldemort_!?” he asked loudly, grinning widely.

 


	3. The Truth Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll from now on try to update twice a week. This will most likely happen on Mondays and Fridays, but I had a long day yesterday, so this chapter gets posted today instead.  
> Thanks for everyone who's commented and also everyone who hasn't but still reads it.  
> Please continue commenting! I'm really curious about your opinions.

Petunia blanched and her face turned ashen as she stared at the green haired man in horror. Harry frowned confused, cocking his head to the side as he watched Joker chuckle darkly and approach his aunt and cousin.

“Are you-…” aunt Petunia stuttered terrified.

“Him? No, I’m not,” Joker spoke mock comforting before grinning madly again.  
“But trust me when I say that I am much, much **_worse_**.”

“Pl-please don’t hurt us!” aunt Petunia cried out fearfully.  
“We never wanted the boy to begin with! They-they forced us to keep him! Please, please, just take him and leave my family alone, I beg you!”

“Oh! I do LOVE begging!” Joker cackled gleefully.  
“But sorry, no deal. I’m not here to take revenge.”

“Then what are you doing here?” uncle Vernon growled.

Joker laughed, turning back towards the large man and shoving him towards his family.

“Story time!” the green haired stranger sang cheerfully.

With that, he skipped back over to where Harry was standing and leaned down, getting close to Harry’s face again, grinning sadistically as the boy flinched in fear.

“You know, the reason that I had to send Harley to scout this place out instead of coming here myself was because of the Blood Wards around this place – do you know what Blood Wards are, Harry?”

Harry shook his head dumbly, eyes still wide at all the revelations. The green haired man laughed loudly and high pitched again, and his relatives cringed and shivered again. Joker danced away from Harry, but soon walked up closer once more, throwing an arm over the boy’s shoulder.

“You see, kid, when your mommy was killed, well, she died to protect you!” the man cackled delightedly.  
“She used some very ancient magic, and when she died, you became protected… as long as you stayed around people related to you of course, like these piggies!”

“So… I’m safe with them?” Harry reasoned.

It didn’t sound right to him at all. _They_ were the once that hurt him the most after all, so how could that be considered safe? Wasn’t he just in danger all the time? Because that was what pain meant. Danger.

“You are safe _with_ them, but not _from_ them,” Joker corrected.  
“But that’s not all! See, you are really famous out there because they say you killed a very bad person when you were a baby…”

Harry paled and took a step back, shaking his head frantically.

“I-I didn’t!” he muttered fearfully.

Killing was bad, even he knew killing was really, really bad! He never did anything like that.

“We know you didn’t,” Harley soothed.

“BUT! That brings us back to those wards, you see, I couldn’t get in because… **_ill intend_**. I know! Silly right!” the man continued, laughing.

At this point, fear had definitely returned to Harry. He wasn’t entirely sure what ‘ill intend’ exactly meant, but he was sure it meant that the other wanted to hurt him or something. He just said that those wards were supposed to protect him, and you only needed protection from people that wanted to hurt you.

“So, you must be wondering how I’m here now,” Joker chuckled, grinning wickedly at Harry.  
“I’ll tell you! First off, well, it has some other qualifications, otherwise this lot wouldn’t be able to come into their own home anymore after all!”

Harry’s curiosity was peaked, and he allowed the Joker to grab his shoulder and steer him towards the living room. A head motion from the green haired man had Harley jumping into action, and she pulled out a gun from her pink purse as she ushered the Dursleys to follow them.

Joker plopped down into uncle Vernon’s comfortable chair and he hoisted Harry up and onto his lap, wounding his arms around the boy’s chest to keep him in place. Across from them, Harley forced the Dursleys in the large sofa and sat down on the armrest next to aunt Petunia, her gun aimed at the pale woman’s side.

“Now, Harry. One of the qualifications is that you have to be magical, like you and me. That’s why Harley had no problem getting in earlier,” Joker started.

Because he had put his chin on Harry’s shoulder, the child could feel the vibrations while he talked. He still flinched a bit at the closeness and how the strange man’s breath heated his cheek and ear.

“Another is that I have to want to hurt you specifically.”

Harry almost breathed in relief at the same time as his aunt and uncle paled in fear.

“So… you aren’t going to hurt me?” he asked hopeful.

“I’m not sure yet!” Joker mused, chuckling darkly.  
“I’m not planning to – but that’s the fun part about this! I don’t have a plan! I just walked in and now I’m going with my gut. No plans, no intend, **_no magical protection_**.”

Harry swallowed nervously and tried to get off the man’s lap. This only seemed to amuse Joker even more and the stranger laughed maniacally as he tightened his grip around Harry and pulled him further against his chest.

“Are you afraid Harry?” Joker asked.

Harry nodded, not seeing any reason not to. He was really scared of Joker right now.

“No need, kid. Harley told me your family calls you a freak, and freaks should stick together.”

“I think you’ve got the wrong person, mister,” Harry whispered quietly.  
“I-I’m nothing special. I certainly can’t be magical!”

For a moment, Joker stayed quiet, but Harry couldn’t see his face, so he wasn’t sure of that was a good thing or not. All he could see were his relatives staring with wide, terrified eyes at the strange man.

 _“Are you saying I made a mistake?”_ Joker growled in his ear.

Harry’s eyes widened in fear and he started trembling all over. He quickly shook his head in denial.

“N-no, sir!” he squeaked.  
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

“Exactly! You’re a wizard, I’m a wizard. It only makes sense if I raised you, right?”

The Dursleys all nodded their heads frantically and Harry scowled a bit. He knew they didn’t like having him around, but were they really willing to just let him go with an insane stranger without a fight? Did they really hate him that much? He jumped a bit as he heard Joker laughing into his ear.

“Glad you lot understand!” he said, chuckling evilly.  
“Now kill ‘em Harley! We don’t need the fat sacs anymore. Or the horse faced stick.”

Harley cackled happily and cocked the gun and put it against Petunia’s head. Harry’s aunt flinched and tried to scoot away, but Harley just laughed and moved the gun with her.

“NO!” Harry yelled, wrenching himself out of Joker’s hold.

He jumped off the man’s lap and ran towards the couch, only to be grabbed from behind and lifted off the ground by two strong arms. Harry yelled furiously and struggled against Joker, who grunted as Harry kicked him against the knee and let him drop.

“Now why shouldn’t we kill them?” Joker asked annoyed.  
“They’ve done nothing but hurt you and treat you badly.”

“They’re my family!” Harry cried out desperately.  
“You can’t kill them! It’s wrong! Killing is wrong!”

Joker sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

“Out of everything the kid could have been taught…” he muttered before looking up at the other occupants in the room.  
“Well _someone_ is going to die here! But if you don’t want it to be them…”

Harry swallowed and backed away as a thoughtful look crossed the Joker’s white features. For several moments it was completely quiet, save for the soft sobbing coming from Dudley and Petunia’s hitched breaths. Then, suddenly, Joker’s eyes brightened and he grinned sadistically.

“I know! We’ll cast a vote!” he cheered.  
“All four of you have to decide on one person in your little family to die and say his – or her – name. We’ll start with the oldest, Whale?”

“The boy!” uncle Vernon said almost immediately, eyes wild as he glared at Harry.

“Which one?” Joker asked, grinning darkly and leering at Dudley.

“Harry! Kill Harry!” Petunia screamed desperately.

Dudley was nodding along quickly, eyes brimming with tears from fear as he watched Joker’s every move. Joker grinned and turned back towards Harry, but the young child barely even acknowledged him. He was staring in horror at his relatives. He couldn’t possibly understand why they would want him dead so badly. Didn’t he do all his chores? He cleaned the house at least once a week, vacuumed every day, cooked, did the dishes, tended the garden,… how could they just say he should be the one Joker killed?

“See?” Joker asked, grinning widely as Harry looked back up at him, green eyes dulled and broken.  
“They can’t think killing is that bad, right? Why else would they just call you out so quickly without even a little struggling?”

Harry nodded, completely numb. This wasn’t family. They never treated him like one of them. They hurt him and used him and blamed him for everything Dudley did wrong. If killing wasn’t evil, like he’d been told it was, then the Dursleys deserved to be killed in his eyes. Joker was right about that. He looked up at the green haired man with a blank expression.

“What’s your vote, kiddo?” Joker asked.

“Them.”

Joker laughed in delight and turned towards Harley.

“You heard the kid, Harl!”

“What?! But you said-“ Vernon started.

With a loud bang, the large man dropped to the ground, blood seeping from the large hole in his head and chunks of meat and bone splattered around the room. Petunia screamed, and Dudley cried as Harry just flinched and looked away in disgust and horror.

“I never said the most votes won,” Joker muttered amused before grabbing Harry by the shoulder and steering him out of the room.

“You have fun in there, Harley! I’ll help the boy pack his stuff and then we can fly!” he called out over his shoulder.

“Alrighty Mistah J!” Harley cheered happily.

With the second bang, Harry jumped and Joker chuckled, squeezing his shoulder softly.

“You’ll get used to that eventually, kiddo,” he said cheerfully.

.              .              .               .              .

The Joker’s Hideout was an old toy factory, and Harry was very conflicted between being creeped out or over the moon to have so many toys around, even if most were missing parts. The second they had arrived there, Harley had hugged Harry tightly, squealing loudly that she and Joker would be the best parents ever. Harry doubted that, but Joker didn’t correct the woman and had just grinned widely at the exchange.

“Why don’t you get the kid’s room ready, Harley?” he suggested.

“Right away, puddin’!” the blond replied cheerfully before running off.

Harry looked around the place a bit, nervous to be in a different place with two people he barely even knew and who he learned were anything _but_ normal, (thank you very much). He accidentally met Joker’s eyes, shivering at the wide manic grin spread across the clown’s face. For the first time since the man and Harley had shown up at number 4 Privet Drive, he wondered _why_ exactly they had chosen to take him in and he scowled.

“What am I supposed to do while I’m here, sir?” he asked quietly.

“Why do you think you’re supposed to do anything, kid?”

That definitely wasn’t the answer Harry had expected and he tensed. His scowl deepened, taking a step away from Joker, only to have the strange man take two closer. The man was still grinning widely as Harry started to shiver in fear.

“Because you took me in,” the boy replied confused.  
“Why would you do that if you didn’t want anything back?”

Joker tapped his chin and hummed in thought before looking at Harry in mock wonder.

“I think you’re right,” he said after a short silence.  
“But what should I get in return though?”

Harry brightened up. That meant he could do things he knew how to! If Joker would make him choose how to repay him, he could maybe get away with doing less than the Dursleys, even though that might be ungrateful. Joker and Harley had come and saved him from them in the first place.

“I can clean!” he volunteered quickly.  
“And tend the garden too. I’m really good at that.”

“I don’t have a garden though,” Joker muttered thoughtfully.  
“And cleaning isn’t all that big on my priority list. Try again.”

Harry’s brows furrowed. Alright, this might be a bit harder than he had thought. What if he couldn’t convince Joker that he was useful? Would he kill him too, like his relatives? He winced as he was reminded of his uncle’s head exploding when Harley shot him and he paled. He really, really didn’t want that to happen. Ever.

“I-I can cook too, if you want,” he said a bit quieter.  
“I’m not that great, but I’m learning! I barely burn anything anymore!”

He rubbed his arm nervously as he remembered the times he burned his food in the past. The Dursleys had never been happy when he did and punished him accordingly. He deserved it, they would say, and he could only wonder if Joker would think the same thing.

He was shocked out of his musings when Joker grabbed his arm roughly and pulled the sleeves up. There were a few burn parks on his arms, and Harry winced. The clown-like man just chuckled and pressed his fingers in the scarred skin, making Harry whimper in discomfort.

“I guess this wasn’t what you meant?” he asked snickering.

Harry shook his head. He sighed in relief when Joker let go of him and he quickly pulled his sleeves back down.

“Let me guess… That’s the punishment for burning the food?”

“Y-yes, sir,” Harry muttered quietly.

“Nope! No! That’s not an option! I’m the Joker. Not ‘sir’,” the man scolded teasingly.

“O-ok, Mr. Joker… What am I supposed to do then?” Harry asked uncertain.

Joker stood in a mock thinking stance, rubbing his chin as he jutted out his lower lip and hummed. Harry just stood there, staring at him, wondering what the man would come up with to make him earn his keep. No one ever helped for free, and this man seemed like he would ask for something big and bad.

“I know!” Joker cheered loudly, making Harry jump in fright at the sudden exclamation.  
“I’ll just teach you everything I know! You’ll be my… **_protégé_**.”

Harry stared in surprise at the grinning man. He absolutely hadn’t expected that. Harry wasn’t sure what a protégé was, but if it meant that he was going to learn from Joker, it probably was some kind of student, right? And that wasn’t anything bad he thought. Actually, it was very good thing.

“You’ll… teach me things?” he asked confused.  
“But I thought I was going to have to work…”

“Learning _is_ working, kid!” Joker laughed.  
“And I’m a very strict teacher, so no slacking off.”

Harry started smiling brightly, his large green eyes sparking with adoration. It was the very first time that anyone ever even bothered teaching him. No one ever cared about Harry learning anything, even his aunt had just put him in front of the stove the first time, saying he shouldn’t burn anything and left him to it.

“Thank you Mr. Joker!” he beamed.  
“When are we going to start?”

“Tomorrow. I’m sure your tired as hell right now, kid.”

 


	4. A New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've decided to post this same story on Fanfic.net as well. I'm curious if it'll hit off.

Harry woke up more refreshed than he ever remembered being with the Dursleys. He had a real bed here, and not just a cot in the cupboard. With warm, colorful blankets and lots of toys. Harley had spent last evening searching the place for teddy bears and other toys that were still in one piece and dumped them all in Harry’s room. There were even a few girly dolls in there now, but Harry found he didn’t mind. He never had any toys for himself before, so they just made him smile.

He crawled out of his bed and looked for his clothes, only to find new ones. There were dark grey jeans and a red shirt with a yellow lightning bolt on. They weren’t his size, but closer than Dudley’s old stuff. He quickly put them on and left the room, following the scent of fresh pancakes. To his surprise, he found Joker cooking them. Not sure if he was allowed to join at the table, he lingered at the doorway, looking wide eyed as Joker flipped a pancake before adding it to the large stack.

“What’re you standing around for, kid? Grab a plate!”

“May I, Mr. Joker?” Harry whispered hopeful, looking at the man with big innocent green eyes.

“I’m not making them to throw them out the window,” the man chuckled.  
“Well… I could do that I guess. We’ll just wait till someone passes by and throw a hot one!”

“Won’t that hurt a lot?” Harry asked curiously.

“That’s the whole point!” Joker exclaimed grinning.  
“Hurting other people is fun! That’s your first lesson.”

“Why would I want to hurt people?” Harry asked confused.

“Because. If you give them a chance, they’ll hurt you instead,” Joker replied shrugging.  
“Think of the Dursleys. They hurt you. Their friends hurt you too. If you hurt them first, they’ll be too afraid to hurt you back. You just have to show them you’re more dangerous than them and no one will ever want to hurt you again.”

Harry listened intensely and nodded in understanding. It made all perfect sense. He had always been too afraid of Dudley and his friends. In fact, everyone in his class was terrified of Dudley and that was because they knew the boy would hurt them if they crossed him. If Harry hurt them first, they’d be as afraid of him as he had been of Dudley.

“No one will hurt me again?” he asked, just to be sure.

“Well, me and Harl sure won’t,” Joker shrugged.  
“But I’m not gonna hold your hand the whole time, so you’ll have to learn to take care of yourself out there.”

“Oh. Ok,” Harry mumbled, focusing back on his pancakes.

At that moment, Harley walked into the room. She smiled brightly at seeing Harry and ruffled his hair as she sat down next to him. Her attention was quickly diverted towards Joker and her smile widened even further as she looked at the man slaving over the stove.

“This smells amazing puddin’!” she said cheerfully.  
“But ya know I would gladly have made breakfast instead, right?”

“Last time you did, I had three goons in the hospital with food poisoning,” Joker snorted, making Harley blush in shame.

“I can cook too!” Harry spoke up, feeling the need to at least show in some way that he could be useful to them and earn his keep.

“Once you can reach the stove properly without having to stand on your toes you can cook,” Joker replied dryly.

Now it was Harry’s turn to blush in shame. He was smaller than the other kids his age and really hated it when someone pointed it out to him. It wasn’t his fault he was so small! Dudley always said it was because he was a little freak and that Harry would never grow big like normal people, but Harry refused to believe that. His cousin often lied.

“What do ya think of ya clothes, Harry?” Harley asked smiling.  
“They aint ya size, but Dave’s kid was the closest we could find. He’s about your age I think… What’s his name again, puddin’?”

“Gabriel, I think,” Joker replied uninterestedly.  
“Personally I’m a bit insulted it’s a ‘Flash’ shirt. At least it’s better than a ‘Batman’ one.”

Harry watched and nodded. So there was another kid around maybe? Would he want to be friends with Harry, or just ignore him like all the kids on Privet Drive did? He did loan Harry his clothes, but maybe he didn’t know yet Harry was a freak. That would make sense.

“So what’ll we be doing today, Mistah J?” Harley asked.

“We’ll get to that part later,” Joker said dismissively.  
“But before that, we’re eating!”

.              .              .               .              .

“Alright! Time to set the rules of the house,” Joker started after breakfast, clapping his hands together.

Harry was sitting in the couch next to Harley, who held his hands gently as they watched Joker pace around in front of them. The green haired man was grinning widely at them, making Harry swallow nervously. Vernon screaming his rules about ‘no freakishness’ before beating him and locking him up coming to the forefront of his mind.

“So, you’ll wake up every day at seven, train with Harley for an hour and we’ll all have breakfast like the happy, normal family we’re not, hehe,” Joker started.  
“After that, you’ll spent the day following me around until after dinner – and don’t think you’re not getting lunch or something, because you will.”

Harry blinked innocently before blushing and looking away.

“From what I’ve seen I’m not surprised I had to clarify that. Seriously, how many times did you usually eat per day?”

“Um… whenever aunt Petunia didn’t look,” Harry mumbled.  
“They don’t like me sitting with them at the table.”

Harley growled next to him and squeezed Harry’s hand harder.

“Can you bring them back to life with your magic thingy puddin’?” she asked.  
“I wanna hurt them some more for hurting my new baby!”

“Necromancy doesn’t work like that,” Joker dismissed her shrugging.  
“I can make Inferi, but that isn’t the same… think zombie apocalypse! **_One day I will make it happen_**.”

Harry shivered in fear at the dark grin his new guardian showed and shrunk into himself a bit. Harley laughed and pulled Harry against her side in a tight, squeezing hug that made Harry wince.

“Since we all had breakfast already, you’ll tail me for now. Morning practice with Harl will start tomorrow,” Joker told Harry.

“Alright, Mr. Joker,” the little boy whispered.

“And we’ll have to do something about your attitude too,” the clown frowned.  
“Can’t have you be meek and shy all the time. That’ll ruin my reputation.”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry easily adapted to his new life. Every morning, he was woken up by Harley at exactly 7 AM and they went to the training room together. Their practice started out easy enough, with 45 minutes of yoga, ‘To make Harry more flexible’. After that, it was time for a quick shower and to redress. Meaning he hopped out of his sporting clothes – newly bought, or stolen. Joker and Harley had taken him out ‘shopping’ the second day, and Joker had held the cashier under gunpoint while Harley had helped Harry with fitting. It had honestly terrified the 5 year-old, but Harley had reassured him that they’d never hurt him – and into his regular clothing (also ‘purchased’ in the same store).

After breakfast that was usually brought in by one of Joker’s goons, or cooked by Joker himself, he’d follow Joker around. The man would either be playing with chemicals, making things explode, or show off little magic tricks he then proceeded to teach Harry. After two weeks, the boy could make things levitate by moving his hand and have things catch on fire by just looking at them. Joker had been very proud when he accidentally set one of the goons’ hair alight.

Then there was lunch, sandwiches usually, and Harry continued following Joker after. They went to check on Jokers gang members every other day, which was probably the least liked part of his whole routine. The men all looked super scary, with or without their face paint, and they were often fighting each other, or practicing their aim with guns.

Joker had him stay with one of those guys once while he went out for a while, saying he should learn to shoot too. It stayed with just once though, since the men thought it was funny to scare Harry, and the boy accidentally made everything in the room float. One of the big crates bumped into his teacher, knocking him out. Once Joker was done laughing about the whole debacle, he promised not to leave Harry alone with them again until the boy was ready. At least the men had learned not to try and mess with Harry again.

The other days, Joker taught Harry how to make gas bombs and explosives. Harry really didn’t think it was a good idea for a little boy to be around dangerous things like that, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. Uncle Vernon always hit Harry when he dared to talk out of turn, and Joker didn’t look like the kind of person to like it when he talked back either.

Then, they had dinner and after, they either spent their time in front of the TV, playing silly board games, or Joker and Harley went out, doing ‘business’, and leaving Harry with a ‘babysitter’. Harry had been really worried the first time, 5 days after his arrival, scared that he’d be left with the scary gang members again, but he wasn’t. His babysitter introduced herself as Poison Ivy, and Harry immediately thought she was really pretty. She had green skin, which was a little weird, but her green eyes and bright red hair reminded him of the woman in his dreams that always sang to him and told him she loved him.

He really liked Ivy, he realized after only a few hours. She helped him set up a little garden behind the Hideout, like Harley and Joker called the factory they lived in. She was really good with plants and could just make them appear from the ground like it was nothing. Harry had smiled happily and begged her to teach him how to do that.

“It’s not something that can be taught, dear,” she told him.  
“You must be one with Mother Nature to make something like this happen.”

Harry had frowned a bit at that, but hadn’t insisted. He and Ivy worked in the garden for hours, and Harry had a lot of fun with it. He had missed it a bit. Gardening had always been the one chore he actually looked forward to at the Dursleys and that Joker didn’t have a garden for him to work in had upset him a little. That night, he went to bed happy, feeling better and more confident than he had in his whole life.

.              .              .               .              .

“Mornin’ baby!” Harley’s cheerful call woke Harry up.

He groaned a bit and sat up, grabbing his glasses before looking over to his bedside clock. 6.58 AM, like usual. He looked up at the chirpy blond woman and smiled brightly at her.

“Morning,” he greeted.

“Looks like ya happy today kid,” Harley noted.  
“Had fun with Ivy last night?”

Harry grinned and nodded his head, making Harley chuckle a bit.

“We made a garden!” Harry told her eagerly.  
“There are pretty flowers and vegetables too!”

“That’s nice, hun. How ‘bout ya show them to me after we’re done?” Harley suggested smiling.  
“We’ll stop 10 minutes early today so we have some time. Mistah J doesn’t need to know.”

Harry quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed his sport clothes while Harley left to the training room, giving the 5 year-old some privacy to get dressed. When he was done, he rushed over to where Harley was already waiting for him.

“Today, we’re doin’ something different,” she told him when Harry had arrived.

Smiling, she lead Harry towards the balance beam and helped him up.

“We’ll be improving ya balance!”

Walking on the beam wasn’t that bad. He needed Harley’s help a few times when crossing over, and the same when crossing back, but the more often he crossed, the less he lost his balance and eventually, he could walk over it without much of a problem. Harley was very excited and cheered every time Harry walked successfully, making the little boy beam with pride. He’d never had anyone being proud of him before he came here, and Joker only seemed proud whenever Harry made something accidentally happen. Harley was proud because he tried his best and did something right on purpose.

They only practiced for about half an hour before Harley called it quits and asked Harry to show her his garden. Excited to do just that, he grabbed Harley’s hand and dragged her over to the back of the factory. To their surprise, they found someone already present in the garden. Joker was lying on a garden chair, wearing some casual clothes that just looked weird in combination with his white skin and green hair, and had sunglasses on.

“Hello, kiddies,” the man greeted with a grin.

“I was wandering about this morning when I found this lovely little spot,” he told them.  
“I can’t believe I never realized it was here! And so neat looking too… I wonder how it got here.”

Harry blushed and looked down at his feet, shuffling around a bit nervously.

“Ivy and I made it last night, Mr. Joker,” he said quietly.

“You did?!” Joker gasped dramatically sitting up straight as he grinned at Harry.  
“Well then, I guess this is your responsibility from now on. You better take good care of this little slice of paradise. I’m expecting to eat a home-grown salad when it’s ready.”

 


	5. A Snake in the Grass

Harry loved his little garden. It had grown out quite a bit since he started it. Harley said the plants were growing so big because of the love and care he put in every single one of the little plants. Harry just liked to think that his practice in plant magic was paying off. He wanted to show aunt Ivy he could do what she could. He was sure the plant lady would be incredibly proud of him if he succeeded.

He’d been living with Joker and Harley for over three months now and he had to admit he loved it. Harley loved him and hugged him, and Joker always knew how to cheer him up. They taught him a lot of stuff. Like Harley taught him Math and Psychology and Gymnastics. By now, Yoga was only once a week, three times a week he practiced the balance beam and the other three times a week he practiced Martial Arts. Harley had wanted to wait a few more years before starting with that last one, but Joker said you could never start young enough. At least Harley was careful.

Joker taught him Chemistry and Magic and how to work a gun. He let Harry use earmuffs for that last one, and always offered to let him practice on a life target, but Harry always said no. Learning magic was the coolest in Harry’s opinion. He learned not only to make things move with his mind, but also to brew weird potions and other stuff. That was really difficult, and Harry blew up a lot of things, but Joker always just laughed and told him that it would go better next time. He was never angry at Harry, no matter how much he messed up, and that still amazed the little boy.

The times that aunt Ivy had to watch Harry because Harley and Joker went out, she taught him how to take care of a lot of different plants. She also taught him Chemistry, but in a different way than Joker did. While Joker mostly showed him how to blow things up, aunt Ivy taught him how to make plants better and bigger. She also taught him about Biology and Genetics, but Harry had a hard time understanding any of that.

He and Ivy could sometimes spent hours, just lying in the garden and watching the grass grow. It would be incredibly boring with anyone else, but Ivy could make the grass grow faster so it was actually visible. All in all, Harry thought he had found a great family. They might be weird and a bit scary, but Harry was a freak himself, so they really were perfect for him.

Right now, Harry was watching TV while Ivy was making a little snack in the makeshift kitchen. Harley and Joker had gone out a few hours ago and wouldn’t be back before early the next morning, so Ivy would stay the night. Like usual, she would be gone by the time he woke up. Really, Harry had the idea Joker and aunt Ivy didn’t like each other at all. He’d never once seen them in the same room together.

_“Breaking news. Just five minutes ago, Batman stopped the Joker from robbing Gotham’s National Bank.”_

Harry sat up straight and stared wide eyed at the footage. Joker and Harley were in cuffs, and to Harry’s horror, he could see how Joker was bruised and bloodied as he limped towards the police van. They were led by a big man in a black and grey bat costume. He looked really scary if you asked Harry.

“Oh, no,” Ivy muttered as she walked over to watch as well.

 _“Joker and his sidekick, Harley Quinn were quickly apprehended by the Dark Knight and are now back on their way to Arkham Asylum, where they belong,”_ the news reader said.  
_“I’m sure that with this arrest, a lot of people will be going to sleep with a lighter heart as the streets of Gotham are once again a bit safer.”_

Harry’s lower lip quivered. They were gone? Harley and Joker were gone? What would happen to him now? Were they going to leave him? Would he end up in a normal family again and beaten and starved for being a freak? He wouldn’t let them. Harry was stronger now than before with the Dursleys. He could take care of himself and if those bad men would try put him in a normal family, he would kill them.

“Looks like you’ll be staying with me for a while,” Ivy sighed, ruffling Harry’s hair.

“Really. Can I?” Harry asked hopeful, looking up at the green woman with big doe-eyes.

“Of course, honey. You can stay with me until Harley gets back.”

“Why did they take them away?” Harry asked quietly, looking at the TV, which had gone back to his cartoon, with tearful eyes.

“Batman does that,” Ivy sighed sadly.  
“He doesn’t like us freaks, even though he is one himself. He thinks he is better than the rest of us, so he locks us away.”

Fear gripped Harry’s chest and he looked back towards Ivy with wide eyes. There was someone out there who hated freaks like him and his new family so much he locked them up. He leapt up and hugged Ivy around her neck, hiding his face.

“He won’t take me, will he?” he whispered fearfully.

“No, sweetheart,” the green woman replied, hugging the boy back.  
“Me, Harley and Joker won’t ever let them get to you, I promise.”

.              .              .               .              .

“Do you have to?” Harry whined.

He was sitting on the counter top of Ivy’s home, his sleeve pulled up above his elbow while aunt Ivy pressed a needle in his arm. The little boy whimpered and tried to jerk away, not a big fan of injections of any kind, but Ivy was strong and kept his arm in place.

“We’re on a toxic waste dump, Harry. If I don’t give you an injection, you’ll be dead in minutes,” she explained.  
“Don’t worry too much, alright? I gave your mother one too when she stayed a few weeks with me when she and Joker had a fight.”

Harry tensed. His… mother. He knew that Ivy was talking about Harley, but before he’d never thought about her any other way as Harley. The really kind woman who loved him and took care of him. He smiled as he realized that was exactly what a mom did.

“Ouch!” he yelled, jerking his arm as Ivy stuck the needle in.

“Don’t whine, it’s already done,” Ivy muttered, rolling her eyes.

She stepped away and helped Harry off the counter.

“Now, off to bed with you and I’ll show you the greenhouse tomorrow, how does that sound,?”

“Ok, aunt Ivy,” Harry replied smiling.

.              .              .               .              .

The green house was beautiful. There were so many different exotic plants Harry had never seen before. Even though outside it was the middle of winter, the flowers in here were in full bloom, making the whole space colorful and sparkle with life. There were so many different smells as well, making Harry’s head spin and fill with happiness.

Ivy spent the whole first day of Harry’s stay – after his morning exercise. He didn’t want to take it easy and just did yoga for an hour after waking up – trying to teach him the name of every plant in there. It took him a few days in the end, but eventually, he knew most of them and how to take care of them properly as well. As he had hoped, Ivy was very enthusiastic when she saw Harry actually make a flower bloom by concentrating hard. Harry was really proud of his progress.

It was a good thing Ivy was really smart too, so Harry didn’t miss too much of his lessons. Only his lessons on Magic and weapon handling were now switched for Plant studies, which he really liked so he was ok with it. He still practice his magic in his own time.

Every day, Harry helped Ivy take care of her plants. It was something they both put a lot of time and effort in, and they were usually good for hours of work. Neither of them minded of course. Harry had quickly learned that Ivy thought of all the plants as her ‘babies’ and she loved them more than people, and Harry had to quietly agree with her. Plants never hurt anyone. They didn’t hate anyone for being different or a ‘freak’. They just grew and lived.

It was during such a time, when Harry was trimming a big bush that was starting to obstruct the growth of some very nice flowers, that it happened. A loud, angry hissing reached Harry’s ears suddenly. He wasn’t sure what he was hearing at all at first, and scowled as he started looking around himself for the source. His eyes widened when he saw a small green grass snake.

 ***Sstupid humanss, making thiss much noisse and waking me from my winter ssleep,*** the small snake hissed annoyed.

 ***I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more quiet from now on,*** he replied, not really thinking about how weird it was that he was talking to a snake.

The little snake reared up and flicked out her tongue towards Harry before sort of cocking her head in what Harry guessed was the snake equivalent of confusion.

 ***You sspeak the tongue of ssnakess, little human hatchling?*** the snake asked curiously.

Harry scowled. They weren’t talking in English? It sounded the same to him, except that he could hear a faint lisp in his own voice every time he talked to the snake, and she more hissed than talked.

 ***I… guess so?*** he replied uncertain.

 ***You sspeak, but you don’t know how?*** the snake asked surprised.

Harry huffed and glared petulantly at the snake, pushing out his lower lip in a cute little pout.

 ***I never met a snake before,*** he defended himself.

The snake gave an odd hiss that Harry realized in shock was her version of laughing. He smiled at that. It sounded really funny. It made him wonder if she thought he sounded funny too when he laughed.

 ***What’s your name?*** he asked curiously.  
***My name is Harry Potter.***

 ***My name is Malinda, little hatchling,*** the snake replied amused.

Harry smiled brightly at her.

 ***It’s really nice to meet you, Malinda,*** Harry said cheerfully. **  
*You can go back to sleep if you want. I’ll try to be more quiet.***

 ***No need, Hatchling,*** Malinda replied. **  
*I have decided to stay with you for a while. You are interesting.***

When Ivy went to find her charge, she had the scare of a lifetime finding the 5 year-old with a snake coiled over his shoulders repotting a few Venus Flytraps.

.              .              .               .              .

Three weeks. That was how long Harry was staying with Ivy before the news of Joker and Harley’s escape from the Asylum reached them. Harry heard it on the morning news, and almost fell off the balance beam in excitement, until he heard they had escaped last night.

“I’m sure they’re first trying to find a new hideout,” Ivy soothed him.

“Why do we need a new one?” Harry asked upset.  
“I like the one we have. I want to go back there.”

“If they stay in the same place for too long, Batman will find out and come to your home,” Ivy explained.  
“They’re doing to protect you. I promise you, Harley will never abandon you.”

Harry noticed how Ivy said just ‘Harley’ wouldn’t abandon him, but he ignored it. Joker wouldn’t either because there was no Harley without Joker, and he had a hard time imagining a Joker without Harley too. They belonged together. His mom and her Mr. J.

After breakfast, Harry went back to the greenhouse to talk with his new friend, Malinda, and maybe try and improve his plant-magic, like he had taken to calling it. Ivy said she had to work a bit in the house and told Harry to have fun by himself.

 ***Hatchling ssmellss ssad,*** Malinda said as greeting as he sat down in the grass near a very beautiful cherry tree in the greenhouse.

The small snake came slithering up Harry’s leg and rested herself in his lap, curling up contently as Harry stroked her back.

 ***My mom and Joker escaped from the Asylum last night,*** he told her softly.

 ***Doess that not make you happy?*** Malinda asked confused.

***It does, but they didn’t come get me.***

***Perhapss they will come for you ssoon,*** the small snake suggested.  
***If not, they are sstupid. You are a very sspecial hatchling.***

Harry smiled gratefully at the little snake. At least she liked him.

“Harry!”

Harry looked up surprised when he heard Harley’s voice call out to him. He quickly got up, Malinda hissing in annoyance as her peace was disturbed before she quickly slithered out of the way and back on the ground. At the same time, Harley appeared from behind some bushes, smiling brightly when she noticed the little boy standing there.

“Mom,” Harry whispered, feeling tears bead at the corners of his eyes.

Harley’s eyes widened and she rushed forward, enveloping the little boy in a tight hug. Harry hugged back and sobbed in relief.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” the boy whimpered.  
“I thought you left me here because you were sick of me.”

“Oh, hun, no,” Harley said, holding Harry even tighter.  
“We were arrested and they locked us away, but we never forgot about ya! You’re our baby.”

Harry let go of Harley and took a step back, wiping his tears and nodding in understanding.

“Aunt Ivy says the Batman hates freaks and he tries to lock us all away,” he mumbled.  
“She said you’d come back for me, but then I heard you escaped and you weren’t here…”

“I wanted to come right away, baby! But Mistah J said we better get the new place ready for ya.”

“I understand,” Harry muttered.

“Good! Now, let’s go say goodbye to Ivy and we’ll go home to Mistah J, waddaya think, hun?”

Harry smiled tearfully and nodded his head in agreement before thinking of Malinda. He looked around, finding the little snake lying under the tree, watching them. He approached her quickly and held out his hand. The little green snake slithered up his arm and settled on his shoulders while Harley watched in awe at the little boy and his new, unusual friend.

 ***Iss that you mother, Hatchling?*** Malinda asked curiously.  
***Will you be leaving with her? Can I come? I like Hatchling.***

Harry looked up at Harley with big puppy eyes that made her heart melt in an instant.

“Can Malinda come with us?” he asked hopeful.

“If you want to take her, I guess it’s ok,” Harley replied, eyeing the snake curiously.

“Yay! Thank you!” the little boy beamed happily.

.              .              .               .              .

Joker stared between the little boy and the snake on his arm in silence, trying to comprehend what was going on exactly. Bright, poisonous green eyes blinked up at him, and so did the killing curse green ones of Harry. Both boy and snake watching him innocently. However, the situation was anything but innocent. In fact, it was very, very complicated.

“You’re… a Parselmouth?” he asked slowly.

“What’s pars- part… that?” Harry asked confused.

“When… Malinda, was it?” Joker asked the snake.

The snaked nodded her head, and odd gesture for a snake.

“When Malinda talks, do you understand what she says?” Joker asked the boy.

“Yeah. But… that’s normal, right? I’m a wizard, I can do loads of things!” Harry said, grinning.

“Talking to snakes is not normal, even in the Wizarding World,” Joker told him.

Harry’s face fell immediately and he looked to his feet, scowling upset. Joker sighed and pulled the child on his lap. He didn’t usually try to comfort the boy when he was sad. That was more Harley’s forte, but Harley was out at the moment to get some stuff from the Toy Factory and bring them over to the small house they were currently staying at and was on the name of one of Joker’s goons.

 ***I know only one other person who can do it,*** he hissed, making Harry’s eyes widen in shock.

 ***You can do it too?!*** the boy exclaimed, not even realizing he wasn’t talking in English anymore.

 ***Two Sspeakerss? Thiss will be very interessting,*** Malinda spoke happily.

“It’s a gift only my family has, and I though me and my brother were the only ones left,” the Clown Prince of Crime explained.

“Then, how can I speak it?” Harry asked curiously.

“Well, the reason I see for it, I guess either me or my brother must have met your mother before you were born,” Joker shrugged.

“Did you? Are you my real dad?” Harry asked hopeful.

“Can’t remember. I was in England for a little while back then, but I sort of… met a lot of women…” Joker chuckled.  
“And my brother had a habit of… meeting a lot of women too at the time too, so both would be possible.”

“Oh.”

Joker grinned and ruffled Harry’s head before setting him back on the ground and standing up himself.

“Don’t worry. No matter who your real parents are, kid, me and Harl are your family.”

 


	6. Birthday Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading and reviewing! I really, really love getting reviews, that way I know that I’m doing something right.

 

Harry quickly got used to the new house and the Joker and Harley started making sure they wouldn’t have to leave again so soon by staying away at least for another day whenever they had gone out into town, hiding in another hideout. This had upset Harry at first, but aunt Ivy helped him with the garden whenever his mom and Mr. J were gone.

The backyard was of decent size, and Harry really enjoyed putting his time and effort in perfecting it. He practiced his plant-magic in it, and made sure it was to the liking of Malinda too, who turned out to be a terrible perfectionist.

Since her arrival, Joker decided to educate Harry in Parseltongue too. He barely spoke anything else anymore during their lessons, but he still made sure they spoke English when around Harley, who really appreciated the gesture, though why she was so grateful, Harry wasn’t sure because the one time Joker had been talking Parseltongue with Malinda while Harley had been in the room, his mom had turned bright red, so he didn’t think she hated it per se.

By now, he had been staying at the house for about 6 months, and like every morning, he woke up at 7 o’clock sharp and got dressed in his sport clothes. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he made his way over to the training room. His mom and Mr. J were out for probably the rest of the day because they had left early the other night, leaving Harry with Ivy, like usual. He did his practices dutifully, never even once having missed a day. Not even when staying at aunt Ivy’s, and then went back to his bedroom to take a shower in the adjoining bathroom.

Feeling entirely refreshed, he walked into the kitchen for breakfast. To his confusion, the lights were all out. Frowning a bit, he flicked the switch.

“SURPRISE!”

Harry jumped in fright as Joker, Harley and Ivy yelled out at him, jumping into sight all of a sudden. They were all grinning, and for a moment, Harry panicked, not understanding what was going on. He forced himself to stay stock still and not flinch when his mom rushed up to him and hugged him tightly.

“Happy birthday hun!” she exclaimed happily.

Oh… ohhh! It was his birthday today. Harry had totally forgot! No one ever bothered to celebrate it before, so that wasn’t so strange of him to forget, but now he had a loving family. Harry smiled at that and hugged Harley back.

“Thanks, mom,” he whispered.

“Six years old already,” aunt Ivy said smiling.  
“You’re growing like weed, Harry.”

Harry blushed at the compliment and moved from his mom to his aunt to give her a hug too. all the while, Joker was leaning against the kitchen cabinets, watching with a wide grin.

 ***Happy Hatching day!*** Malinda hissed cheerfully, slithering over to Harry.

The now 6 year old boy laughed joyfully and picked up the small snake allowing her to curl up around his shoulders. The adults all smiled as well, before Harley led him to the kitchen table where a large stack of freshly baked chocolate waffles were waiting for him. Harry’s mouth started to water from just the smell and he turned towards Joker with a big smile.

“Thank you for breakfast Mr. J!” he said happily.

The man laughed and joined Harry and the two women at the table, ruffling Harry’s messy black hair as he passed behind his ward’s chair.

“Anything for the birthday boy, right puddin’?” Harley said cheerfully, grinning at the Clown Prince of Crime.

“Sure, today’s the kid’s day,” Joker replied shrugging.  
“And after breakfast, we have a little party to go to. It’s about time we let the Criminal Underworld know there is a little Joker Junior running around!”

This filled Harry with equal measures of dread and excitement. He really wanted to get to know more people, but what if they didn’t like him?

“Who’ll come?” Harry asked.  
“Will they like me at all? What if they don’t?”

“They won’t dare do a thing,” Joker dismissed with a wave of his hand.  
“I like to think that most of them respect and fear me enough to stay out of my business.”

“Delusional and insane, great catch, Harley,” Ivy snorted as she poked the waffle on her plate with a scowl.

Harry watched her curiously. He had never seen his aunt eat anything but organic vegetables and fruits she harvested herself. He wondered if she would even eat anything else…

“-And even if they don’t, you and I are the only wizards in this city, so no worries!” Joker continued undisturbed.

“But first, you should open ya presents, hun!” Harley exclaimed happily.

Harry’s eyes widened in shock and he stared at his mom.

“I-I get presents?” he whispered disbelievingly.

Indeed he did. Harley was the most eager to give him hers, so he just allowed her to thrust the neatly packed box in his arms, still dazed they actually cared enough to give him presents. He was aware that he should have expected them to celebrate. For the past year, they’ve been nothing but caring towards him, and in his mom’s case, he even dared to say she loved him. still, old habits die hard and Harry was still subconsciously expecting the other shoe to drop.

“Open it!” his mom squealed.

Harry did as told and excitedly ripped into the present. He gasped when he saw what it was and grinned up at his mom. Harley had given him a Gameboy and some games to play with, much to the boy’s excitement. Dudley used to have one, Harry remembered, he had gotten it for his 5th birthday and broke it in a month and a half already – something Harry had been blamed for.

From aunt Ivy, he got some Cobra Lilies to plant in his garden. They were flesh eating plants, and these ones was a few sizes bigger than their sort normally was, specifically bred by Ivy herself of course. They were very beautiful in Harry’s opinion and profusely thanked his plant loving aunt for the beautiful present. Ivy smiled and ruffled Harry’s hair fondly, telling to take good care of the plants or she’d come back to take them away again. Harry promised quickly, knowing how Ivy treated people who hurt plants.

“Alright! You get two presents from me,” Joker announced.

Harry blinked in surprise and cocked his head curiously, making the Joker chuckle.

“Well, they both fit together, so you can call it one big present if you want to,” the man added with a shrug.

“What is it?” Harry asked eagerly, before realizing how rude that was and blushing a bit in embarrassment.  
“Uhm… I-I mean… can I please see it Mr. J?”

“Of course you can!” Joker replied, raising an amused brow at Harry.  
“Why would I bother getting you presents and then not give them to you? That’s just silly!”

Harry smiled again. Joker did make sense. He often did, if Harry thought about it. All the things Harry had learned before about what he should and shouldn’t do, Joker easily gave him reasons why he should ignore all that. He liked that about Joker. He understood what it was like to be hated for being different. And so did aunt Ivy.

Joker handed Harry his first present. It was a soft package, so it were most likely clothes. Harry quickly opening it before staring confused at the contents. Rainbow colored tights. He scowled and looked back up to Joker, who just grinned at him.

“Can’t have you walking in with Gotham’s biggest criminals looking like that, kid,” Joker chuckled.  
“You’ll need a secret identity for whenever you’re mingling with these guys. Better not have them know who you really are.”

“Oh… so who will I be?” Harry asked curiously.

“Harry Quinn, for now,” Joker replied.  
“When you’re old enough, you can choose your own villain name, alright?”

That instilled another few questions in him. Harry looked up from his costume to stare at Joker.

“Is Joker your villain name?” he asked curiously.

“It is. My real name’s Jack Riddle,” the man replied.  
“And Poison Ivy is Pamela Isley, and Harley… well, you already know her real name.”

“Dr. Isley for you, Riddle,” aunt Ivy drawled annoyed, glaring at the Joker.

“-But! I haven’t used the name Riddle since leaving England, and thus, Joker has become my real name.”

“Then I want Harry Quinn to be my real name too!” Harry said smiling brightly.  
“I don’t want to be Harry Potter anymore. Harry Potter had the Dursleys, but I’ve got you guys.

Harley and Ivy both cooed at Harry for that comment and the boy was quickly squeezed between two hugging women. The boy giggled as Malinda, who was still resting on his shoulders hissed annoyed and threatened to bite someone if they didn’t let her sleep. After Harry relayed the message, the two women let go again, smiling still.

“Put on your new costume and I’ll give you your second present, Harry,” Joker ordered.

Harry nodded eagerly and ran back to his room to do exactly as he had been told, too excited to wait any longer for the other present. It was only morning, but is was already the best day in Harry’s entire life.

.              .              .               .              .

“I don’t wanna!” Harry whined.

The tights were weird and Harry was too ashamed to go out wearing just them. He wouldn’t do it, no matter how many times his mom told him he looked cute in them. No one, and he meant no one, was going to see him in this. Well, no one besides his mom, obviously.

“Fine,” Harley sighed.  
“Pull some shorts over it and a shirt if you really hate it.”

Harry scrambled over to his closet to do just that. He wanted to cover himself more, so in his haste he didn’t look at what he grabbed and threw on. Relieved that he was at least not feeling naked anymore, he left his room and faced his mom. Harley grinned approvingly and grabbed Harry’s hand to lead him back to the living room, where Ivy and Joker were waiting for them. When they saw Harry’s new attire, Ivy scowled while Joker grinned approvingly.

“I like it,” he said, smiling genuinely at Harry.

The boy looked down at himself, noticing he had picked a plain orange short sleeved shirt and some jeans shorts. He blushed a bit at the mismatching outfit, but he already knew Mr. J liked that sort of thing, and Harry found he actually did as well. Aunt Petunia would have a heart attack if she saw this, but she was already dead so… Harry chocked on a laugh and quickly covered his mouth.

“What’s so funny?” Harley wanted to know.

“I was just thinking… if aunt Petunia saw me now, she’d have a heart attack, but then I thought that her heart wasn’t doing much of anything anymore anyway.”

This made Joker roll onto the couch in fits of laughter that seemed to make Ivy very uncomfortable, but only made Harley and Harry smile. The longer Harry was with these people, the more he started to love Joker’s occasional fits of mad cackling, and he often found himself joining. After a while, the green haired man seemed to calm down and sat up, pulling out a small box wrapped in bright purple wrapping paper.

“I guess it’s time for your last present, kiddo,” he said.

Harry jumped for the gift eagerly and carelessly ripped the paper off. As he opened the box, his mouth fell open in a little ‘o’ and he stared at the red tinted goggles.

“They’ve got the right prescription glasses in them, as well as an infrared and an ultraviolet setting,” Joker explained.  
“They can also zoom in through this here” – he pointed as two small buttons at the side – “so it can also be used as binoculars and a magnifier.”

Hearing all this, Harry stared down at the goggles in awe. With these, he’d go to being half blind to having super sight! And they looked really cool too!

“This is amazing!” Harry cried as he hugged his gift to his chest.  
“Thanks, dad!”

Joker tensed at that, and a moment later, so did Harry. The child’s eyes widened in horror before he looked down at the floor, tears beading at the corners of his eyes in fear.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-” Harry started.

He cut himself off when he heard Joker chuckle amused and a hand came to rest on top of his head, ruffling through his hair. Harry looked back up in wonder and found Joker staring down at him with a more sincere smile on his painted lips than Harry had ever seen on the man.

“You’re welcome… son,” the Joker said.

They could hear a soft gasp and a happy squeal coming from Harley, and Harry started grinning widely. Before he really knew what he was doing, he surged forward and wrapped his arms around the waist of the Clown Prince of Crime. Again, Joker tensed for a short moment, before he hugged the little boy back.

“Look at us and our little dysfunctional family,” the green haired man laughed.

“Very dysfunctional, yes,” Ivy agreed calmly, though Harry could see she was smiling too.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry didn’t much like the party his parents had thrown for him. First off: there was only one person around his own age, and secondly: everyone looked scary.

There were several of Joker’s goons to oversee the party, and make sure that none of the guests decided to kill anyone, as Gabriel claimed. The other boy had pale brown hair and hazel eyes, like his dad, and was a bit taller than Harry. He had given Harry a few comic books and told him his dad wanted them to become friends. It was clear Gabriel wasn’t happy about that, but they had decided to at least talk a bit to make it seem to their parents that they got along.

Then, there was a man who at first glance looked pretty normal, but then he’d turned his head and Harry saw the other side of his face, which was hideously disfigured. It looked like half his face had been burned off. Then, there was the man who wore a big metal suit that sort of reminded Harry of a space suit. Even weirder was that the man was bald and blue – well, Harry guessed it wasn’t weird to be bald, but he just felt like mentioning that too. Then, there was the man wearing a hastily stitched together outfit and a burlap sack with a face on it. He looked like a Scarecrow, which his dad told him was also his name. Not his real one of course, but like Joker and Poison Ivy.

The most normal looking people in the room were a man in a green suit with a big question mark on the back and a green bowler hat in his head, and a woman in a black skintight suit with cat ears and a whip wrapped around her hips.

There were some more people, like a man his parents introduced as Deadshot, who was wearing all black and red and wore a ski mask. Harry didn’t like how he could see absolutely nothing of the man’s face and was really happy Malinda had chosen to come along. He felt safer with his constant companion by his side.

“Happy birthday, kid,” a gruff British voice said from behind him.

Harry jumped a bit in fright and he turned around, facing a short man in a fancy black suit and two very beautiful women on his arms. The short man, still much taller than Harry of course, smirked coldly at the little boy.

“Thanks,” Harry muttered unsure.  
“Uhm… excuse me, but I don’t think I know your name yet. I’m Harry.”

Harry smiled shakily and held out a hand. The man looked surprised at him for a moment before he took the boy’s hand and shook it, smiling a bit more genuine now.

“British, eh? Wonder where Joker found you,” he muttered.  
“The name’s Oswald Cobblepot, but most know me as Penguin.”

“Nice to meet you, sir!” the child beamed brightly.  
“Mom and dad found me in England – Surrey. I’m an orphan and my relatives didn’t like me much… Mr. J saved me and took me in.”

“Well, isn’t that awfully nice of him,” Penguin mumbled, before giving Harry another smile and walk away.

 ***He ssmellss awful,*** Malinda commented.

***You mean he’s a bad person?***

***No. I mean he ussess too much cologne.***

Harry chuckled a bit at the comment and shook his head. At least he had Malinda with him through this. She always knew how to make him smile when he was down and he really needed that right now.

“You’re standing awfully lonely to be the birthday boy,” the woman dressed like a cat commented.

Harry looked up and smiled a strained smile at the woman.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude,” he replied immediately.

Harry really, really hoped the party would be over soon so he could go back home and hide in his bed for the rest of the week. Adults were scary.

 


	7. School

All too soon, the summer was over, and it was time for Harry to start Elementary school. With that, his whole morning routine was switched up. Instead of training with his mom for an hour, he only had half an hour every morning, which would be used mainly for yoga. Then breakfast before the live-in goon of that week would drive him to Gotham Public Elementary School.

Harry was really nervous for his first day, but his parents were quick to comfort him. Joker promised he could beat up anyone who bothered him – Harry was already pretty well trained, and with some well-placed not-so-accidental accidental magic, he could achieve a lot – while Harley assured him he was a wonder of a child and a delight to be around, so he needn’t worry at all.

The car stopped right in front of the school porch, and the driver waited patiently until Harry got out. The boy smiled shakily at the unfriendly looking criminal and waved at him when he got out. The driver rolled the window down to hand Harry his lunch box with a large scowl on his face.

“Thanks, Frank,” Harry beamed.

Frank grinned at him, showing off yellowed teeth with a few missing and ruffled the child’s hair.

“See ya later, kid,” the man huffed gruffly before speeding off.

Harry scowled and ruffled through his own hair, wondering why everyone kept doing it. Not that he disliked it or anything – it felt quite good – but it just confused him that they were so casual about hugging and touching when the only touches he had ever gotten with the Dursleys were beatings.

Slowly, Harry walked over the playground of the school, watching parents of his classmates to-be hug their children and cry. Harry wasn’t jealous of them at all. His own parents had said their goodbyes to him before he stepped in the car, and his mom had even cut the tires to make him stay at home, so they had to use the reserve car.

“Hello!”

Harry turned his head to look at the blond haired girl that was smiling brightly at him. She looked to be his own age, and had a bright pink Hello Kitty schoolbag on her shoulders. Harry smiled at her.

“Hello,” he greeted.

“My name is Bette. I’ll be a first year this year. You too, right? What’s your name?” the girl started off, talking really fast as her smile grew with every word.

“I’m Harry, and I’m a first year too,” Harry introduced himself, chuckling.

“Nice to meet you!” Bette beamed.  
“I just moved here with my mom and dad ‘cause aunt Kate lives near here.”

“I haven’t lived here long either, to be honest,” Harry told her.

“I could tell from the accent,” the girl giggled, making Harry laugh as well.

He liked her enthusiasm. He and Bette talked for the longest time, sitting on a bench next to the large building that was their school as they watched the other kids play. Gabriel came up to him at one point, along with two of his friends to greet Harry and welcome him to the school. The other boy was a year older than Harry, and was a second year. He made Harry promise to come to him if he ever had any trouble and left again. Eventually, the bell rang and they all went inside.

Their homeroom teacher was a very stern looking woman with brown hair tied in a high bun at the back of her head and a flower blouse and long white skirt. Harry thought about how much different she looked than his mom, who liked to wear tight fitting clothes that showed off her boobs and hips and she liked dark colors best. Harry liked his mom better. The way his teacher dressed reminded him of Petunia, and he didn’t like her.

“Alright, let’s start with all introducing ourselves,” the teacher started, smiling sweetly at them.  
“My name is Alice Gerald, but you can all call me Miss Alice. Now, raise your hand and say your name and something interesting about yourself.”

Bette, who sat next to Harry in the front row immediately stuck out her arm, jumping eagerly in her chair. Miss Alice smiled indulgently and nodded for the blond to talk.

“I’m Bette Kane!” the girl said enthusiastically.  
“I just moved here with my mom and dad.”

“Hello, Bette,” Miss Alice greeted before allowing the next to introduce himself.

“I’m Nikki McDonald,” a boy a few rows behind Harry introduced with an annoyingly high voice for a boy.  
“I like going skating with my big brother and sister. I’m really good at it.”

Again, the teacher greeted the boy and moved on to the next. Harry grew increasingly annoyed by the teacher’s behavior. At first, sight, she seemed alright. Kind enough with her smile and soft voice, but Harry, having lived with the Dursleys, could see right through the nice person disguise. This woman acted exactly the same as his aunt Petunia used to when they had visitors. Very nice and kind and helpful, but once the doors closed behind the guests, she was all sneers and disgust and terrible gossip. He doubted miss Alice would be any different.

“Looks like you’re the last one!” Miss Alice said to Harry.

Harry looked up at the teacher with a blank expression. Her smile was too fake for his liking. At least his mom and dad meant it when they smiled. He could already see Miss Alice judging him and he didn’t like it at all. Plastering an equally bright and fake smile on his face, Harry sat up straight and introduced himself.

“I’m Harrison Riddle, but everyone calls me Harry,” he said, using the name his dad had told him to use.  
“I’m an orphan, and I used to live with my aunt and uncle until they got killed… shot in the head by a criminal right in front of my eyes. I live here now for almost a year with my adoptive family.”

The whole class was silent, the teacher staring in shock at Harry while Bette seemed absolutely horrified. Harry ignored them all and just opened his textbook to browse through it while Miss Alice tried to get the class back in track by stammering the first order of business.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was really happy with the result of his first school day. He’d showed his classmates he wasn’t to be hurt, just like his dad hat taught him to, by coming across as confident and strong. The other boys all towered over him easily, but thanks to his training with both his parents, Harry knew he could take them on if he had to, so he wasn’t scared like he used to be of Dudley. He only hoped it would work, because now it seemed that Bette was scared of him too, since she hadn’t tried to talk to him again since lunch break, where Harry had gotten into a little fight with a boy three years their senior and won. Miss Alice had gotten really angry and threatened with detention, but in the end she’d let Harry off with a warning.

By the time Frank came to pick him up, Harry was already sitting on the curb next to the school porch along with Gabriel, who would be going with them as his dad was on a job and his mom was apparently dead. The little boy smiled brightly at his chauffeur/bodyguard and grabbed his bag, rushing up to the sleek car to sit in the back with Gabriel. He greeted the man cheerfully, making the criminal chuckle fondly and turn in his seat to ruffle Harry’s hair. Harry smiled even wider, strangely enough having missed the feeling of someone’s hand on his head.

“I take it school went well?” he asked amused.

“I didn’t make any friends, but I did what dad told me,” Harry replied grinning.  
“Asse- assa-ass… my autotonity… uhm…”

“Assert your authority,” Frank chuckled.  
“Good boy. I’m sure the Joker and Harley will be proud when they get back.”

“Get back?” Harry asked confused.  
“Where did they go this time?”

“Apparently, Batman got a whiff of our location, so they went into hiding.”

“We’ll go to them now, though, right?” Harry asked hopeful.

“I’m afraid not,” Frank replied, looking at Harry apologetically.  
“Joker was really clear that you shouldn’t get involved just yet.”

“Is my dad with them?” Gabriel asked curiously.

“Not sure. Either he’s with them or he’s picking up a new shipment of guns at the bay,” Frank replied.

Harry scowled confused and looked out the window, watching the houses and buildings move past as they sped through the city towards the rougher sides of Gotham. They weren’t on their way to aunt Ivy’s either, since she was stuck in Arkham for the moment, so Harry had honestly no idea where they would be going now.

“Where’re we going?” Gabriel asked curiously.

“The Joker made an arrangement with the Riddler, that Harry here could always stay with him if he needed to,” Frank told them, grinning at Harry through the mirror.  
“Apparently you made quite the impression on him and he wants to teach you his own tricks of the trade.”

“Like mom and dad and aunt Ivy?” Harry asked.

“Exactly like them,” Frank chuckled.  
“We’re here by the way.”

Frank parked the car in front of an old apartment building. Harry scowled a bit, wondering if the normal looking home could be the hideout of someone like the Riddler. Not that Harry had talked a lot with the man or anything. They’d only met once, at Harry’s birthday, and the Riddler had spent most of his time with telling Harry all kinds of riddles, most of which he hadn’t been able to answer.

Harry and Gabriel followed Frank into the building and up three flights of stairs before they reached a door. It looked exactly the same as all the other doors in the building, only green. Harry wondered if that was the Riddler’s favorite color. It was his favorite at least.

“I heard the Riddler is a weird one,” Gabriel whispered to him.  
“Not like Joker weird, but he’s really reclusive and talks in riddles all the time.”

The two boys waited patiently as his bodyguard knocked on the door three times. He could hear shuffling inside, but no one opened the door.

“What walks on four legs in morning, on two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?” a muffled voice came from inside.

Harry frowned in thought. Were there really animals who changed how many legs they had depending on the time?

“A human,” Frank answered calmly.  
“Let us inside, Nigma.”

Harry’s eyebrows rose past his hairline in confusion and he turned towards Frank, just as the door clicked open. Next to him, Gabriel was scowling in confusion as well.

“How can a human change their legs?” the little boy asked.

“The big guy can come in,” Riddler, wearing a green bathrobe and some shorts spoke dryly.  
“The kids can stay out here until they get it.”

.              .              .               .              .

“Do you have homework?” Frank asked when they finished dinner.

Harry looked at his bodyguard and nodded quietly.

“Only math and I did most when I waited for you to pick me up,” he replied.  
“It’s a lot easier than what mom teaches me, so it’s no problem.”

“Good, ‘cause it aint my strong suit anyway,” Frank muttered.  
“Though I’m pretty sure I can help with elementary school level math.”

“Lucky. I have to do English and math! They’re difficult…” Gabe grouched.

Harry laughed and pulled out his worksheet. There were only ten math problems on it and he already made six of them. They weren’t too hard. He had to think on them of course, but he barely ever needed to use his fingers to count and of that he was really proud. It only took him about five minutes to finish the last four questions and he handed the sheet over to Frank to check them.

“No mistakes at all,” the man said, grinning.  
“Good job there, Harry. Your parents will be proud.”

Harry glowed with pride at the compliment and he sat up straighter. The Riddler, who walked back into the room at that moment, looked over Frank’s shoulder and nodded satisfied. Gabe frowned a bit and looked down on his own sheet. He had to do twenty math questions and then he had to start on his English still.

“Now that you’re done with that, let’s move on to what the Joker asked me to teach you,” he said to Harry.  
“For the time being, we’ll just focus on expanding your logic skills and you English vocabulary, so we’ll have your little friend here join for now.”

Gabe seemed suddenly a lot happier, but Harry wasn’t sure he could follow yet. He blinked. Vocabulary was a big word… as was expanding.

“So… what are you gonna teach us?” he asked confused.

The Riddler sighed in aggravation and looked down as Frank chuckled amused.

“I have a feeling I’ll have my work cut out for me,” the Riddler muttered to himself.

Harry scowled at that, but didn’t say a thing. He was really smart! His mom always said so, and so did aunt Ivy and even his dad told him he was a fast learner. He crossed his arms and glared at the Riddler. He’d show them just how smart he was. He’d show him and Riddler would be really surprised!

 


	8. Take your Kid to Work Day

Harry grinned proudly at the shooting targets before turning his head towards his dad and his regular shooting instructor. A large, bulky man going with the name Don, though his dad had a habit of calling him Donny or Donald Duck. Once, he even called the man Purple, which had seemed to confuse Don, but had made Harry giggle hysterically. It was even more funny because Don looked like he could snap Joker like a twig, but acted nervous and overly respectful around his boss.

“Bull’s eye all five times,” Don said impressed.  
“I really never seen a 6 year old handle a Glock this well in my life. Hell! You’re the first six year old I’ve _ever_ seen using a gun at all.”

“Not me,” Joker piped up, shrugging with a big grin on his face.  
“There was this one kid. His dad pissed me off bad, so I gave the kid the choice. Kill daddy or I killed mommy _and_ daddy. He was five.”

“What did he do?” Harry asked curiously.

“Shot his daddy of course.”

“I’d have shot you,” Harry mused.

Joker threw his head back and laughed loudly before ginning at Harry.

“And that’s why I adopted you, kiddo,” he said.  
“You’ve got _potential_. A lot of it. That and your mother would have killed me if I left you somewhere.”

Harry smiled widely at his father. He knew his dad loved him, even though the man never said it. Harry could see it in the small things he did for Harry, like the way he always smiled fondly, and how he ruffled through Harry’s hair. The proud glint in his eyes whenever Harry did a spell right, or made a proper bomb or came up with a great idea to terrorize Gotham. Joker would have gotten rid of him ages ago if he didn’t love Harry. The boy got even more leeway than Harley and that really meant something.

“Well, kiddo. Your mom and I are gonna be leaving in a couple of hours, so Ivy will be here soon,” Joker said.

Harry pouted at him.

“But… can’t I come? It’s my plan you’re using and you said you were still looking for another lookout!”

“Sorry, kiddo. You’re still too young,” Joker replied, shrugging helplessly.

“I’ll be 7 in two weeks!” Harry cried out frustrated.  
“And I know how to fight and shoot a gun and I have a costume ready and everything!”

His dad sighed in defeat.

“If you get your mom to agree, you can come,” he conceded.

Harry grinned in victory and rushed out of the shooting ring, back to where Harley was training her combat skills with some of the goons. It was pretty much decided for Harry already. His mom could never say no to him, so he would definitely be going on his very first mission today.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry straightened his goggles as he watched the Gotham Central Bank, which his parents would be robbing tonight. He didn’t wear the outfit his dad had given him, but a black shirt and dark pants, just like the other goons, but instead of a clown mask, he had his face painted like his mom and wore his dad’s goggles.

When he left with a few of the other lookouts, his mom had been pouting. She had been fussing over him the entire drive over and wanted to change her mind on letting him come at the last moment, but his dad told her off, saying it was too late already. Harry had been happy with that of course. Now he had at least a chance to prove himself. Not the way he had wanted to of course, just as a lookout, but he had to start out slowly.

He saw one of the other guys give the signal and Harry opened the com in his ear, hearing the static before Joker’s voice rang out loud and clear.

_“Everyone in position?”_

_“All in place, boss,”_ one of the goons replied.

 _“The explosives are placed too, boss,”_ another one said.

 _“Harry?”_ Joker asked.

“I’m on my spot too, dad,” Harry replied quickly.

 _“Good. You get out as soon as the cops or Batman arrive, alright?”_ Joker said.  
_“You don’t look back, ignore everyone else, but you get out as soon as possible.”_

“Yes, dad,” Harry sighed.  
“You already told me this at home.”

_“Your mom wanted me to remind you.”_

With that, the com went down and Harry was on his own again. From his rooftop, he had a visual of the Bank and all surrounding buildings as well as the street. No one would get in or out without him seeing them. He played with the settings of his goggles, zooming in on random spots. He could see the other guys, guns in hand, standing on the other roofs. All ready to shoot whatever came to stop the Joker.

The minivan of his parents stopped in front of the Bank and Joker, Harley and half a dozen tough-looking guys, including both Frank and Don, jumped out. All of them were heavily armed except for Joker, who really stood out. Harley had a insanely big hammer swung over her shoulder as she swaggered behind Joker into the building. After that, he couldn’t see them anymore, but the sounds of gunshots and screaming did reach him.

For several minutes, Harry had absolutely nothing to do, so he just sat around, whistling the tune of a song he’d heard on the radio as he played with some pebbles. This was pretty boring, Harry decided. He’d hoped it would be more exciting.

 _“Cops on their way!”_ one of the other lookouts announced through the coms.

Harry immediately turned the infra-red of his goggles on so he could watch better when the police cars arrived with blaring sirens. He watched gleefully as the officers pulled out their guns, Joker’s men opening fire immediately when the cops stepped out of their cars.

Harry watched the firefight with wide eyes, absorbing every move, every shot fired. He saw how the cops were forced to hide behind their cars while his dad’s men barricaded themselves in the Bank along with their hostages. Harry wasn’t all that worried about them. His dad had gotten out of worse situations before.

“Anyone try anythin’ and we’ll start killin’ people in here!” Harley screamed loudly.

Harry grinned as he saw the police captain call his men back as they all hid behind a barricade of police cars. He wanted to do something to help other than just stand watch the whole time. Several of the other watchmen had sniper rifles with them, but Harry hadn’t been given one because he was ‘too young’. He still thought that was just a load of bullshit.

Movement in the corner of his eyes had Harry look to a rooftop nearby, where a guy named Danny was supposed to sit. Harry didn’t notice anyone immediately. He used the zoom on his goggles, eyes widening as he saw Batman take out the young man. Harry had been present when they celebrated Danny’s 23rd birthday two weeks ago and he really hoped he’d be ok after that confrontation.

“Bat on the move! Bat on the move!” he called through the coms.

 _“Fuck!”_ Joker cursed.  
_“Get out of there, kiddo!”_

Harry, who still had his focus on Batman, watched as the vigilante in all black held a hand to his ear and Harry realized in horror that the man was listening in on the com, probably stolen from Danny when he’d beaten him unconscious.

“I’m leaving. But first, I wanna say something to Batman,” he spoke up bravely.  
“You just beat up someone who’s trying to pay for college.”

 _“Is Joker employing kids now too?”_ Batman’s deep, gruff voice sounded through.  
_“Listen, kid. Whatever that maniac did to get you to do this, I can help you. Just stay there and let me deal with this.”_

Harry furrowed his brow in annoyance. So now he had to have been blackmailed or threatened in helping the Joker? It was the other way around! His dad wouldn’t have let him join if Harry hadn’t sweetened him up a bit first. He opened his mouth to tell the annoying Bat that, but he was interrupted before he could make a single sound.

 _“Kid! You listen to me right the fuck now!”_ Joker screamed into the com.

“I’m leaving already!” Harry called back, slightly annoyed.

He stood up, ready to leave, but that was a mistake, apparently, because Batman spotted him. Harry started running over the roof, trying the stay ahead of the Caped Crusader, but it seemed useless.

“I’m being chased here!” he called out.  
“Can someone maybe get me back-up?”

 _“Get my boy out of there!”_ Harley’s shrill voice rang in his ear.

Immediately after the command, shots were being fired from at least 7 different rooftops towards the masked vigilante. Batman had to dive away from the rain of bullets hailing down on him and hid behind a large vent while Harry took the chance to jump from the roof onto a balcony a bit lower.

 _“Don’t worry, baby. We’re coming for you!”_ Harley called out through the com.

“You better make it quick then, mom,” Harry whispered loudly.

He jumped and pulled out his gun when he heard a loud ‘pop’ behind him. As he turned around, he found his dad standing there, looking very grim. Joker quickly grabbed Harry’s arm, motioning for the boy to be quiet before he turned on his heels and disappeared with Harry in tow.

Harley was already waiting for the two of them in the hideout, the Toy factory Harry had loved at the first few months of his life with Joker and Harley. She sighed happily when she saw Harry and rushed forward, worriedly checking him up and down at least twice to make sure he wasn’t injured. Harry ignored her fuzzing and looked around himself, frowning when he realized they were the only ones there.

“Where’s Frank?” he asked.

“At the Bank,” Joker replied.  
“I couldn’t get them out.”

“What’ll happen to them now?” Harry wondered worried.

“They’ll be shipped to Blackgate,” his dad replied shrugging.

“What?! We have to help them! We can’t leave them there, right? We should-“

“You should rest up, hun,” Harley told him gently.  
“Your dad and I will take care of the boys, don’t worry about them.”

“… If you say so…”

 


	9. Birthdays and Circuses

“What’s got you so down, dear?” Poison Ivy asked the young boy, sitting at the windowsill of her greenhouse, staring out.  
“It’s your birthday. Come celebrate with me.”

“I just wish mom and dad were here,” Harry muttered.  
“They’ve never missed my birthday. Stupid Batman.”

“He’ll pay eventually, and knowing Joker, they’ll be out again soon,” Ivy soothed.

Harry nodded, but it didn’t completely cheer him up. His parents had been in and out of Arkham for as long as he’d lived with them, but never before had they been on the inside on his birthday. They even made sure to be out during Christmas, Halloween and Easter. Especially his mom seemed really set on giving him a proper childhood, and he was eternally grateful for that.

But now, they had gotten caught when trying to break out the guys who had gotten arrested during the Bank raid last year. Harry had complained about missing Frank and Don, and how Danny deserved better than prison, so they went and tried to get them out before his 8th birthday. Now, they were arrested and it was Harry’s fault.

“If they would have let me help them, maybe I could have stopped the big Bat from catching them,” he muttered.

“Or more likely, he’d caught you too, and you would now be in a child detention center,” Ivy cut in.  
“Now get up, we are going to celebrate your birthday. The circus is in town, and I have tickets.”

Harry sighed sadly, intending to decline his aunt’s offer, but was distracted when he felt something brush against his leg. He looked down, smiling when he saw it was Malinda.

 ***You should go, Hatchling,*** the snake said.  
***I think it would cheer you up. I don’t like your sad smell.***

 ***You just want to see the circus,*** Harry accused chuckling.

Malinda gave a hissy laugh that Harry took as agreement and slid up closer, pressing her nose in his side. Harry smiled and petted her head before looking up at Ivy.

“The circus would be great,” he said quietly, making his aunt smile.

.              .              .               .              .

Turned out, the circus really was great. The acrobats and clowns easily made him forget about his parents’ absence and plastered a bright smile on his face. Harry was especially enchanted by the knife thrower and wished he could do the same thing. He decided he’d practice more on his throwing skills from now on. Knives were way more fun than guns anyway.

The highlight of the whole show, however, was the family of acrobats in the last act. They were being introduced as the ‘Flying Graysons’ and consisted of a man, a woman and a young boy about Harry’s age. That was probably what amazed Harry the most. Up there, in the nook of the tent, waving down at them all with a bright smile as he stood between his parents.

“He must have an amazing life,” Harry marveled.  
“Traveling, giving shows,… his parents seem to love him…”

“Your parents do too,” his aunt reminded him smiling.

“I know. But at least he’s never been hated by his relatives before.”

“You never know that for sure.”

Harry scowled at that. Ivy was right, he had no idea if the boy up there had a happy life. Still, Harry liked to imagine that he had. He got to see so many places and he could make tons of friends like that. It was the life Harry used to dream of when he still lived with the Dursleys. That was all before Joker saved him. now, he just wanted to be just like his new dad.

“And now we welcome the Flying Graysons on the trapezes!” the announcer called loudly.  
“A real live family of acrobats! John and Mary Grayson and their _8 year old son_ Richard!”

They all applauded when mother and father grabbed onto the trapezes and started the show. Harry was truly amazed at the finesse and grace in all their movements. It looked like they were really flying, and they made it seem so natural too! Harry was actually really jealous.

Then, the time came for their son to join them. His mother swung upside down, her legs safely hooked behind the bar of the trapeze as she stretched out her hands to catch her son. Richard leapt and grabbed her hands with his own, making the trapeze swing wildly to the other side and the boy used the momentum to release his mother again and make a little summersault before grabbing his father’s hands, who was in the same position as his mother but on the second trapeze.

Harry cheered loudly and applauded with everyone else as the boy up in the air made another summersault and landed on the platform opposite from where he had started. The boy bowed and moved out of the way, making room for both older Graysons to join him. All three bowed again and waved to the wildly cheering public before the lights cut and they climbed down.

“I wish I could do all that,” Harry sighed wistfully.

.              .              .               .              .

“Hi!” Harry greeted cheerfully.

The other boy smiled at him and stuck out his hand.

“Hello. I’m Dick Grayson,” he introduced himself.  
“Did you like the show?”

“Loved it!” Harry said excitedly.  
“I’m Harry Riddle, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” Dick said grinning.  
“It was one of my first shows, so I’m glad you liked it.”

Harry chuckled and raised a brow.

“Oh, I didn’t say I liked _your_ show…”

The boy’s face fell immediately, making Harry laugh at him and the young wizard grinned teasingly.

“Just kidding! I loved your act the most, really!” he laughed.  
“Well, yours and the knife thrower. I wish I could do those things…”

“What I did or the knife thrower?” Dick asked teasingly, smiling again.

“Both,” Harry replied easily.

“That would mean double the practice,” Dick pointed out amused.

“I know! And no way my parents would trust me on a trapeze either,” Harry sighed.

Dick laughed at that and put a hand on Harry’s shoulder to steady himself. Harry chuckled a bit as well and grinned brightly as Dick caught his breath again and smiled at Harry.

“Do you want me to show you around the circus?” he asked.

“I’d love that! Why do you think I started talking to you in the first place?”

“Because I’m awesome and you wanted to be just like me?”

.              .              .               .              .

The next week, Harry made a point in visiting the circus every day. If not to watch the show, than at least afterward to talk to Dick. Dick taught Harry several little tricks he did in his show, and Harry showed Dick his own. Nothing magical of course, Martian Arts, mostly, as it was something Dick had always wanted to do, but he never had any time for it.

Two weeks like that, and Harry and Dick had become great friends. They went out from time to time, but tonight was another show night. Harry had come early that day, as he usually did when he came to watch the show, to wish his new friend luck. This time, he’d gotten Gabriel and his dad to join him. Gabe hadn’t really wanted to come, but Dave was a real bootlicker, and being on good terms with the boss’ son was too good an opportunity to let up on.

“Dick!” Harry called out cheerfully when he saw his friend.

“Harry! You’ll never believe what happened last night!” the other boy yelled.

Dick came running towards them and hugged Harry. The other raven boy laughed and hugged back.

“What happened?” he asked as Dick let go again.

“Batman was here!”

Harry, Gabe and Dave tensed up at that and stared at Dick in disbelieve. As family/gang members/supporters of the Joker, none of them were big fans of the Dark Knight, even if Gabe was a fan of the Flash.

“And what did the big Bat come here for?” Dave asked curiously.

“Save us, of course!” Dick said eagerly.  
“Some mafia guys showed up and threatened us! I hit one of the guys in the face and he would have killed me if Batman hadn’t showed up!”

Harry’s eyes widened. This was the first time he really heard anything good about Batman. It was a strange feeling to be grateful to your father’s worst enemy, but now, Batman was apparently the reason he still had his friend and it did nothing but confuse Harry. Dick seemed to notice Harry’s doubt and frowned at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing!” Harry cried out quickly.  
“It’s just… I’m not a big fan of Batman.”

“Why? He’s a hero!” Dick asked frowning.

“He’s an over-glorified sociopath,” Gabe muttered darkly.  
“He thinks he’s above the law. Breaking it himself and then punishing anyone who does the same.”

Harry snickered amused. Ever since they start having shared lessons with the Riddler, Gabe had started taking a great liking to using big words he read in one of the encyclopedia’s at Uncle Eddie’s home.

“But… he saves lives, doesn’t he?” Dick replied scowling.  
“He doesn’t kill anyone either. He just beats the bad guys up and locks them away.”

“Killing someone isn’t the only way to end a life,” Harry whispered.  
“Batman punishes people for not having any work or a home.”

Dick frowned at that, while Harry just chuckled and shook his head.

“Never mind,” he said.  
“I guess I finally have a reason to be thankful for Batman now too!”

“Alright,” Dick conceded with a shrug.

After that, they parted. Dick had to get ready for the show, and Harry, Gabe and Dave went inside the tent to find their seats. Harry had convinced Dave to get them VIP tickets, just because it cost more and he knew Dave wouldn’t dare say no to him. that was how they ended up with some of the best seats next to a man Harry vaguely recognized from somewhere. To his other side, Gabe gasped in awe.

“You’re Bruce Wayne!” he cried out.

The man next to Harry looked over and smiled at them. When Harry looked at him straight, he suddenly realized he recognized him from TV.

“You’re that rich guy that build an orphanage!” Harry exclaimed.

“Bruce Wayne, and who’re you?” the man introduced, holding out his hand to Harry.

“An orphan,” he replied grinning, shaking the hand.  
“But not from that place. I was adopted two years and a half ago.”

“That’s good to hear,” Mr. Wayne said smiling.

They went quiet after that, as the ringleader walked up the stage to announce the first act. Harry had seen and heard it often enough that he could say every word with the man, making Mr. Wayne chuckle.

“Seen it before?” he asked amused.

“Almost every day for the past two weeks!” Harry replied cheerfully.  
“I made a friend in the circus, and I like to come cheer him on.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Mr. Wayne said, sounding strangely surprised.

“I’m a very nice person,” Harry replied grinning.

Next to him, Gabe snorted in disbelieve, making Harry elbow him in the side. Mr. Wayne smiled at them before he refocused on the show. Harry sat eagerly in his seat the whole time, wanting to just see Dick’s act already. It really was his favorite after all.

“And now we welcome the Flying Graysons to the trapeze!” the Ring man announced.

Harry cheered loudly as the spotlights were pointing at the three people at the top of the platform, some 30 feet up. Dick was grinning widely and waving down. Harry was fairly certain his friend was looking straight at him, but he was too far away to be sure.

“Your friend?” Mr. Wayne asked amused.

“Yeah. And he’s really good too. Just wait till you see him flying!”

Mary and John Grayson were already doing their own stunts on the trapezes while Dick got ready to join them. Just as he was about to, the trapeze his parents hung onto got loose and they throttled downwards. Harry heard people screaming all around, as the Graysons were famous for not using any nets. His vision blanked out for a few seconds, and all he heard was a women’s voice calling out his name while red hair and green eyes came into his sight. He felt sick.

During all the commotion, no one but Harry seemed to care enough to look up at Dick, wondering if he was alright. Of course he wasn’t. The young acrobat was on his knees, his hands grabbing the floor of the platform he was on as he stared down with wide eyes, his face ashen in horror. Harry jumped up, glancing to his side to see Mr. Wayne was looking up as well, something recognizable in his expression.

He didn’t bother to analyze it. Instead, he rushed down, elbowing anyone who stood in his way until he reached the stage and then towards the trapeze pole where Dick was still at the top. He looked towards the mangled corpses, feeling another pang of pity towards his friend to have to see his parents like that, before he started climbing.

“Dick?” he muttered as he came to the top.

The other boy moved immediately, turning around to face Harry and throwing himself in the other’s arms. Dick started sobbing harshly on Harry’s shoulder, who could do nothing but hold his friend close in an attempt to comfort him. Though Harry had lost his own parents, he couldn’t possibly relate to what Dick was currently going through. He had never known his parents, and losing the Dursleys had only made Harry’s life better. Still, he wanted to be there for his friend.

.              .              .               .              .

The following week, Harry visited Dick even more often than before, mostly as moral support. Gabe, too, joined him, being better at sympathizing than Harry was, having lost his mother two years earlier in a shootout between the cops and Black Mask’s men when the two of them were out shopping at the mall.

“You’re an orphan too, right Harry?” Dick asked when the two of them were getting ready for the funeral.  
“How do you get over it? Losing your family like that?”

“It was different for me,” Harry replied honestly, smiling apologetically at his friend.  
“I lost my parents when I was a baby. I guess I missed them a lot as a kid, back when I lived with my mom’s sister and her pig husband and son, but now, I don’t really care anymore. You can’t mourn for someone you never really knew.”

Dick scowled at him, probably for the way he called his uncle, but he didn’t ask. Still, Harry felt as if he had to explain why he disliked. With a sigh, he rolled up his sleeves, showing Dick the burn marks. Dick gasped in shock at the sight of them, his eyes wide and questioning as he looked at Harry.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked softly.

“Sure,” Dick replied quickly.  
“You know I won’t tell anyone, right?”

Harry nodded and took a deep breath, pulling his shirt off entirely to show off his scarred back. He heard an intake of breath, but didn’t look back at his friend.

“They hated me, my relatives,” he explained quietly.  
“For being forced on them… for being not… normal, I guess. If they could, they would have put me in an orphanage, but my parents had powerful friends, and when they left me at their doorstep, they didn’t dare to. So they put me in the cupboard under the stairs while their son had two bedrooms, made me do all the chores I could handle and more. The second I could walk, I had to clean and tend the garden. Once I was tall enough to look over the stove, I had to cook. When I did something wrong, I would get beat up. Sometimes, when my uncle was in a bad mood, I would get beat up for no reason at all. When I burned the food, they burned me as punishment, and so on. When they were murdered right in front of me, I couldn’t feel sad at all. I was scared, yes, but not for them. I’m happy they’re gone.”

“I’m sorry,” Dick mumbled softly.

Harry snorted and put his shirt back on, turning back towards his friend to smile at him.

“I was saved,” Harry told him, knowing Dick would take it up as if he was saved from the killers, instead of by them.  
“Then I was brought here. My parents faked my birth papers and adoption papers. I learned to get rid of my British accent quickly so no one would suspect I’m from Surrey.”

“So… you’re here illegally?” Dick asked shocked.  
“How did all this happen anyway? Why didn’t social services help you? I saw them at least once a year because I lived in a _circus_!”

The question made Harry snort bitterly.

“My aunt and uncle were perfectly normal, respectable people,” Harry said, distain sounding in his voice.  
“They were well liked in our neighborhood. I was the strange, scruffy looking kid in too big second hand clothes, broken glasses and no friends. It also helped that weird things seem to happen around me all the time. My relatives didn’t have a hard time convincing my teachers that I was a pathological liar and a vandal.”

“… Oh…” Dick mumbled.

“The people Batman puts behind bars? They more often than not are people with a childhood like mine. People like that don’t have a chance at an honest living. Blackgate is my future too, in a sense.”

“But, you got away, didn’t you?” Dick asked shocked.

“Why do you think I’ve never introduced you to my parents in these past three weeks?” Harry replied, smiling wryly.

“You- you mean they’re…?” Dick mumbled wide eyed.

“Another reason why I don’t like the Batman, I guess,” Harry said shrugging.  
“But this isn’t about me. We should go before we miss the funeral. Can you believe I’ve never been to one before?”

“I wish I didn’t have to go to this one,” Dick sighed.

.              .              .               .              .

The funeral itself was just as depressing as Harry had anticipated. He sat next to Dick the entire time, holding his hand and whispering quiet encouragements whenever it looked like his friend would burst into tears again. Gabe and Dave were present as well, sitting in the far back as ‘extra moral support’ as Dave called it. Gabe just told Harry they were on ‘monitoring duty for the little Crown Prince’. Harry was more inclined to believe the second.

Afterwards, they stayed behind as Dick wanted to say goodbye to his parents properly. Harry stayed as well, at a respectable distance while Gabe held him company. Dave was waiting for them in the car, but Harry was going to ask him to take in Dick for a while after this until he found a better home. He’d prefer to have Dick stay with him instead, but he feared his dad wouldn’t be happy with a second kid.

“Hello Harry, Gabriel,” Mr. Wayne’s voice sounded from behind them.

“Mr. Wayne! What are you doing here?” Gabe asked surprised.

“I decided to offer my support to Richard,” the Billionaire replied calmly.

“Dick,” Harry corrected automatically.  
“He prefers to be called Dick.”

“Thanks for the heads up, Harry,” Mr. Wayne said smiling.  
“And please, you two, call me Bruce.”

With that, the man started walking up to Dick. Harry watched as Bruce Wayne put a large hand on his friend’s shoulder and started talking in a hushed voice. Harry frowned. He didn’t trust Wayne at all. After a while, the Billionaire nodded and walked away. He nodded towards Harry and Gabe before he left the cemetery entirely. Without thinking twice, Harry walked up to Dick, who was still staring at the graves.

“What did he want?” he asked.

“He offered to adopt me,” Dick replied without looking up.  
“I said I wanted to think about it. I’d much rather stay with you.”

This time, he did look up, a blank expression on his tear-streaked face, but Harry could see the glint of hope in his dark eyes. Harry gave a sad half-smile.

“I’d like that better too,” he confessed.  
“But my parents barely can take care of me, being in and out of prison. I love them, and I’d never want to trade him for anything, not even for a Billionaire, but you should take his offer. That way I can finally see what the inside of his mansion looks like too.”

Dick gave a chuckle and smiled at Harry.

“I guess I will,” he said.

“Great! Until then, Dave offered to let you stay with him and Gabe,” Harry said – a little white lie because Dave hadn’t offered anything.  
“I’m staying there too till the end of the week. Then my aunt comes to pick me up again. She’s in the process of getting my parents out.”

“Good to hear,” Dick mumbled smiling.

“Until then, let’s have the best sleepover two orphans and a half-orphan can have!”

 


	10. Friends and Enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, yesterday I started watching Teen Wolf and I finished the entire first season (stayed up till 2 in the morning). Today I've watched season two, and I don't think I'll be able to stop until I've watched them all.  
> I fear I may have found another obsession... But don't worry! I'm not abandoning any of my stories! I'll just be a bit slower at most :)

It took longer than expected for Poison Ivy to get the Joker and Harley out of Arkham, and Harry went to the Riddler’s place after one week at Gabe’s. Dick had gone to Wayne Manor by then already and Harry and Gabe had visited him twice by the end of the second week. Both boys, who were used to living in small homes or old, abandoned buildings, were awed at the large magnificence of the mansion. There were so many priceless paintings and sculptures that Harry’s hands itched to steal. With the way Gabe’s fingers twitched, he wasn’t the only one with that problem.

Harry hadn’t yet told Dick his parents were still locked away, not wanting his friend to figure out who they were yet. He wanted to be sure he didn’t lose his friend when he found out.

 ***I ssmell ssomething that will make you happy, Hatchling,*** Malinda hissed cryptically.

 ***What is it then?*** Harry asked curiously.  
***A present? Cake makes me happy! Is it cake?***

***Is that your new nickname for us, ‘Hatchling’?***

Harry swiveled around, his eyes wide as he stared up at a grinning Joker, still wearing his orange prison garb. Harry smiled brightly and jumped up into his dad’s arms.

“Dad!” he screamed happily.

“Looks like cake isn’t the only thing that makes you happy,” the Clown Prince of Crime laughed as he hugged his son.

“Cake?” Harley asked, appearing from behind Joker along with Ivy.  
“If ya want cake, I’ll make ya some, hun!”

“No!” Joker and Harry cried out together, eyes wide in horror.

“It’s your first day back out,” Harry explained quickly.  
“I’ll make one, as a welcome back present!”

“I’ll help him!” Ivy offered readily, smiling at Harley.

“Nice save, kid,” Joker muttered in Harry’s ear, making the boy laugh joyously.

“I really missed you guys so much,” he sighed happily.

.              .              .               .              .

The rest of August passed quickly after that. Harry soon stopped visiting his friend in favor of reconnecting with his parents after too long of a separation. Dick didn’t contact him either, probably still working on getting used to the huge house he now had to call home. To be honest, Harry wasn’t envious in the slightest. He’d never want to live in a big, cold place like that with only two other people. He preferred cozy and busy.

“You’re lost in thought again,” Bill spoke.  
“And just when we’ve arrived too.”

Harry shook himself out of his musings and looked up to find his driver/ bodyguard was indeed right. They had arrived at the school. Harry smiled at Bill and jumped out of the car, shouting the man a goodbye before rushing through the gates. He looked around himself, seeing Gabe and his friends at the basketball court shooting hoops while Bette was chatting annoyingly loud to the second year redhead, Barbara and a new student. Harry’s eyes widened along with his smile when he recognized the new boy.

“Dick!”

His friend looked up and smiled relieved while Barbara, who was sitting next to him scowled. Dick waved him over, so Harry walked up to the three of them. Nikki, who was standing with some of the other kids from their year nearby, raised a brow when he saw Harry approached and quickly turned towards Dick.

“I’d stay away from Riddle if I were you,” he said.  
“He’s a weirdo and a troublemaker.”

“Really?” Dick asked curiously, making Harry frown and slow his pace.  
“Are we talking, like, circus weird? Or is he more normal than that?”

“Circus weird,” Nikki replied, grinning smugly.  
“That kid belongs in a freak show, trust me.”

Barbara hissed in anger at Nikki, who barely even looked at the younger girl, but Harry knew right away she was aware of who Dick was, as she was the daughter of Captain Gordon of Gotham PD. Dick’s earlier smile disappeared in a second and he stared at the redhead boy with a cold expression.

“I lived in a circus my whole life,” he said coolly.  
“I guess that means me and Harry are a perfect fit, right? Two weirdo’s escaped from the freak show.”

Nikki took a step back in shock while Harry barked out a laugh. He walked up to the others, smacking Nikki’s back hard enough to make the taller boy stagger a bit. Harry smirked at the wide-eyed look his classmate gave him and went to stand next to Dick, who was wearing a similar smirk.

“Next time, find out who you’re talking to first, _Nikolas,_ ” Harry snickered.  
“This, is Dick Greyson. Youngest acrobat of the Flying Greysons’ trio. He watched his parents fall to their deaths three weeks ago.”

“Oh no…” Bette gasped horrified.

“Next time you try to slander someone, make sure the person you so it to isn’t the same,” Dick told Nikki harshly.

“Next time you try to slander someone, make sure they can’t rip your balls off if they felt like it,” Harry said, grinning darkly.

Nikki paled and turned on his heels, running away as fast as he could as harry, Dick and Bette laughed loudly Barbara was smiling too, but she tried to keep it in. She didn’t like Harry in the slightest, not that he blamed her after the pranks he pulled on her the year before. Gabe and his friends walked up to them after seeing the commotion, the basketball still held under the brunette’s arm.

“What happened?” Gabe asked curiously, eyeing the retreating forms of Nikki and his friends.

“They just came over to welcome Dick to the school,” Harry replied innocently, making Dick and Bette snort amused.

Gabe chuckled and shook his head.

“If that’s all,” he muttered before walking away again.

The bell rang shortly after and Harry linked his arms with both Dick and Bette, grinning at his friend and semi-friend as he pulled them along to class. Miss Alice was eyeing him warily as they approached, a glint of fear creeping into her eyes as she stared at Harry. The boy grinned in a sinister manner. This year would be even better than the last two years, he was sure of that.

.              .              .               .              .

The first month of school went by without a hitch. Harry picked up his pranking habit, which he had discovered in his first year, turning Miss Alice’s hair grey at a rapid pace. The woman was only in her early thirties, but the worry lines seemed to double in appearance every single day. Harry tricks went from fart cushions at the oddest of places, hurtful messages on the blackboard, escaped mice and frogs and once, he even called in a favor from one of Joker’s contacts to sneak a Lama into the school and ride it to class. Dick had laughed so hard at that one and had been eager to join Harry. All in all, the two friends had detention nearly every week, with Bette or Gabe joining them every once in a while.

Soon, they were known to the whole school as the Trouble Duo. To some, they, along with Gabe, who hung out with them more and more often, had become the three musketeers, with Bette as their d'Artagnan.

As Bette’s best friend, Barbara often got stuck in the crossfire, and whenever she ended up in detention with them, she spent the whole hour glaring at Harry, much to Dick and Gabe’s amusement. The two of them teased him a lot, believing that aggressive dislike for him just meant she had a crush on him. Harry laughed at the notion and, to show how wrong they were, he started flirting with the redhead. To his own surprise, she blushed every time he did.

His training at home had become a lot more intense. He practiced for a whole hour every morning, spent the weekends at the Hideout, training with Joker’s men, Magic was practiced every afternoon once he had finished his homework, and every Wednesday after school, he went to the Riddler’s place to practice codebreaking and ICT. Just talking to the man improved Harry’s steadily growing vocabulary, and he even learned French and Latin from him.

Now, however, Harry was jumping in excitement, wearing his newly improved costume. Rainbow striped thighs, blue shorts, blue boots, orange long sleeved shirt with rainbow striped sleeves, red goggles and clown make-up. Joker was holding up two bottles. One was decently sized with a green concoction in it and the other small with an eye dropper and a clear liquid inside.

“Green hair like your dad, and blue eyes like your mom,” Joker said grinning, handing the small bottle to Harley.

Harry took off his goggles and sat still while Joker rubbed the green potion in his hair, turning it poisonous green like his own. Once he was done, Harley stepped forward and tipped his head back, letting a drop fall on both his eyes. Harry blinked furiously as she stepped away again and looked at the mirror. The boy staring back at him was a perfect combination of both his parents. His messy green hair looked a lot like Joker’s and his eyes were the exact same shade of light blue as his mom’s. He smiled.

“Awesome,” he whispered.

“Now all ya need is a name for yaself, hun,” Harley told him cheerfully.

“Child’s Play,” Harry replied instantly.

“Perfect!” Joker exclaimed cackling.  
“Now we’re ready to rob a jewelry store!”

.              .              .               .              .

It was the first time Harry was allowed to do more than just stand watch while his parents went in the store, and he was truly ecstatic when they blow up the door with his mom’s bazooka and stepped inside. On Child’s Play’s belt, two heavy juggling pins were fastened and a Beretta 21A Bobcat in his back pocket. All in all, Harry was ready for any situation.

That was a good call too, it seemed, because they had only just started when the Bat showed up to stop them. Child’s Play had been loading diamonds in a bag when a large shadow fell over him. He immediately jumped up and pulled out his gun, but the man standing behind him easily grabbed his hand and twisted, making Child’s Play shout in pain and let go of the weapon.

“Training children now, Joker?” Batman asked coldly, glaring at the Clown Prince of Crime.

“Just one,” Joker replied grinning, aiming his own gun at the vigilante.  
“Figured I’d get my son ready to take over the family business early enough. You never know in our line of work, you know?”

“You don’t have a son,” Batman replied darkly.

“Then what am I, huh Batbrain?” Child’s Play growled annoyed.  
“A piece of buttered toast? I’m not fucking invisible you know!”

“No,” Batman agreed, pulling the boy further away from the Joker.  
“You’re a victim. Just give yourself up, and I’ll help you-”

A large mallet slammed into Batman’s side at that moment and he went down with a grunt, letting go of Child’s Play’s arm. The boy pouted and rubbed his sore arm, glaring at the downed hero before looking up at his mom, her mallet slung over her shoulder as she glared at Batman.

“Keep ya hands off my baby, ya bastard!” she hissed.

“Time for you to go back to the getaway car, kid,” Joker said to his son.

Child’s Play wanted to complain, but when he saw his dad’s serious expression, he nodded solemnly and took off. In the entrance hall of the store, however, his way was blocked by a second figure. To his surprise, this one was about his own size. Child’s Play stopped running and pulled out his juggling pins, glaring at the stranger.

“That’s as far as you’ll get!” the other boy called haughtily.  
“Now, either give up, or expect some pain.”

Child’s Play stared at the raven haired boy in front of him. He had the same messy black as his own would be without the coloring potion that turned it the poisonous green it was right now. He wore a black domino mask, hiding his eyes and the upper half of his face. His costume existed from green thighs, green boots, green gloves, a red shirt with an ‘R’ on it, and a cape. Black on the outside, yellow on the inside. He held a Bo staff in his hand and he was appraising Harry much in the same way as Harry was doing with him.

“Huh. I knew Batbrain was a fucking hypocritical asshole, but I hadn’t realized just how much yet,” Harry muttered, cocking his head.  
“What’s he thinking? Complaining to my dad he shouldn’t employ children and then show up with a shrimp like you himself?”

“I’m taller than you, genius,” the boy shot back frowning.  
“Who’re you anyway? Some crazy kid Joker found in the gutter?”

Harry raised a brow and stared impassively at the other child. The Bo staff was aimed at his chest in an attempt to be intimidating. He grinned and gripped his juggling pins a bit harder.

“I’m Child’s Play,” he replied.  
“And who might you be? Batboy?”

“Robin.”

“Like the bird? Cute,” Harry snorted giving the other boy a mocking grin.

“Yeah? What about yours? It doesn’t even make sense,” the red and green clad boy growled.

“Sure it does!” Harry exclaimed grinning, throwing his arms wide.  
“I’m a child, and I play! See? Perfect fit, right?”

“This is a game to you?” Robin asked incredulous.  
“You’re in the middle of robbing a jewelry store!”

“Yup! Fun, right? Fun! Fun, fun, fun!” Harry laughed.

Robin growled and charged at him, his staff raised. Harry laughed again and dodged the attack, swinging one of his juggling pins at the boy hero’s head, only to miss as Robin ducked underneath his swing and swiped Harry’s legs out from under him. He winced as he landed harshly on his back.

Before Robin could press his advantage, Harry rolled away and jumped on his feet. He’d lost both pins earlier, so he quickly slid a deadly card out of his sleeve and threw it at Robin, who dodged and attacked again. The card embedded itself into the wall, and though it hadn’t done much to stop Robin, it had distracted him enough for Harry to dive towards one of his juggling pins and retrieve it.

When Robin reached him, he swung the pin, slamming it in the other boy’s stomach with as much force as he could muster. He grinned in victory and stepped towards the downed boy, but paused when he saw Harley running towards the exit with a large bag over her shoulder.

“Time to go, hun!” she called.

Harry looked up, seeing Joker carrying another two bags rushing towards them too, laughing maniacally and the Batman hot on his heels. Harry glanced towards Robin once more before following after his parents, picking up his other pin as he went.

“Comin mom!” he yelled, before turning around one last time.  
“Let’s play again soon, alright Bird-boy?”

 


	11. Juvie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So this was supposed to be up yesterday, but I had a tough day and went to bed early, like really, really early (didn't help shit because I still slept in until almost noon)  
> Still, my apologies and I hope you guys like the chapter! Don't forget to comment!

It had to happen sometime, Harry had known that from the moment he had started his career as Child’s Play. But honestly, he had hoped it would take a bit longer than a month and a half. He blamed Robin for keeping him occupied long enough for Batman to catch up to him.

Ah… who was he kidding? It was his own damn fault for staying behind while his mom had been clear he should get the hell out instead of staying to tease the Bird-boy. At least he’d been able to break Batman’s nose when the bastard got too close. So easy too.

All he had to do was say he would give up the Joker’s hideout, but only if he could whisper it in Batman’s ear because you never know who’s listening in. After that, Harry had nearly fallen out of his chair laughing, and Batman had given up on him right then and there, saying the police could take him.

“There we are,” the police officer leading him grumbled.

The car had stopped and Harry looked outside, seeing the large sign stating they had arrived at Gotham Youth Detention Centre. He sighed in disappointment. After the stories he’d heard from his parents, he kind of hoped to get to see Arkham from the inside. Still, he guessed juvie was a good starting point too. Who knows? Maybe he would meet some future partners in there!

“Move it, kid,” the police officer’s gruff voice cut through Harry’s thoughts.

The boy scowled and exited the car, pulling his handcuffs annoyed. They’d taken his weapons and his goggles, making Harry’s whole world a bit muddled, but he refused to complain. His dad had always warned him never to show his weaknesses to anyone, and being half-blind was definitely a weakness in Harry’s book.

He was marched forcefully into the building and towards the registration desk. A middle aged lady with thin brown hair and small, beady eyes glared at them as they arrived. Harry smiled at her and lifted his hands in a wave. He really missed his make-up with the way this woman was sizing him up. People recognized the clown getup as Joker’s gimmick and left anyone wearing it alone out of fear of the Clown Prince of Crime. At least the magic eye drops still were in place, leaving his eyes a light blue color.

“Name?” the woman huffed.

“Child’s Play,” Harry replied, grinning at her.

“Real name, kid,” the lady muttered annoyed, her eyes narrowing as she continued glaring at him.

“Shit, do I even have one of those?” Harry asked surprised, widening his eyes into an innocent stare.  
“I don’t think my dad ever had a birth certificate made for me. They might have taken me away!”

“Name?” the woman just asked again, something like a warning sounding through.

“Harold Napier,” Harry sighed, remembering one of his dad’s most famous aliases.

The lady wrote it down and pressed a button. Ten seconds later, two big guards appeared from a side door and walked up. The desk lady nodded at the police officer, who smiled at her and walked away.

“Enjoy your stay, kid,” he chuckled before slamming the door behind him.

Harry rolled his eyes and followed the two guards through several hallways. The ended up in a locker room, where one of the two men handed Harry a plain blue shirt and black sweatpants before pointing at the showers and ordering him to change. Harry followed their instructions meekly, deciding to play along for now until he could grab his chance.

Once he was washed and dressed, he was taken to his cell, a private one, as he was considered dangerous for his association with the most insane criminal in Gotham. That, or because he was likely to be the youngest inmate, being only 8 years old. It didn’t really matter to Harry anyway. He’d be back out before he knew it. His parents would come for him soon enough.

Harry stayed in his cell until the announcement was made for dinner. His stomach was growling, so he didn’t waste much time in making his way over to the mess hall, where all the other kids were already crowding together. Only boys, of course. The girls had their own separate building.

Harry grabbed a plate and joined the row for food. People around him were staring at him, either for his short height, or because of his still bright green hair. Harry ignored them all, keeping the calm, happy smile on his lips as he patiently waited for his turn. Once his plate was filled with grey slop – seriously, if the stories where to believe, the murderers and rapist in Arkham were fed better – he looked for an empty table and took a seat.

Before long, a group of five teens made their way over. A tall lanky teen with dark hair and grey eyes leading the way with a shark-like grin. He took a seat next to Harry, while another boy with blond hair and brown eyes sat on the little boy’s other side, eyeing the green hair curiously.

“So,” the lanky teen started, smirking down at Harry.  
“What big bad thing did you do to end up here, kid?”

Harry wanted to roll his eyes at the way this kid looked down on him. Just because he was like, maybe 5 years older than him, he thought he was a lot tougher and scarier than little 8 year-old Harry. If only they knew who he was, they’d run for the hills screaming.

“What haven’t I done is a better question!” he exclaimed wide-eyed, mimicking a little boy trying to impress an older kid, like they all expected of him no doubt.

The older kids all stared at him unimpressed, and a redhead Harry guessed was about 12, raised a brow. Harry made sure that the grin he gave them was a nervous one, so they’d fall more for his act.

“Yeah? Did you stab someone?” one of the kids asked grinning.

Harry stared at him with big puppy dog eyes and shook his head meekly, making the older teens snicker amused at him. Harry let them, just watched calmly as they all laughed at him.

“Did you shoot someone?” another kid asked.

Again, Harry shook his head.

“Did you rob a bank?”

“Did you start a fight?”

“Did you set a house on fire?”

“Did you steal a car?”

“You guys are good at this!” Harry exclaimed wide eyed.  
“I haven’t done any of these things! Now guess what I did do.”

A little lie, but they didn’t know that of course. They thought he couldn’t do any of those things. He was only a little boy after all.

“Why don’t you tell us?” the kid who had spoken first asked smirking.

“Okay!” Harry said cheerfully, smiling a large, bright smile at the group.  
“I conned a lot of people into thinking I was a 8 year old orphan while both my parents are actually still alive. Dad’s in the joint for killing a cop” – that was the actual truth for once – “and mom’s always drunk, so I played the little kid I look like and people let me into their houses so easy! Stole a lot of good stuff to pay for coke.”

All the kids were staring at him in shock with that. Chuckling at their dumbstruck faces, he patted the redhead’s cheek.

“You were so cute, thinking you could scare me,” he said amused.  
“I’m actually 16 years old, see? My parents just used, smoked and drank all the time when they were expected me, and that stunted my growth.”

He hopped of his chair and walked away. After a few steps, he changed his mind and turned back towards the awestruck group, grinning at them.

“I’m also a pathological liar, so you never know if what I say is real or not,” he told them.

Harry walked up to a boy sitting on himself in the back. The boy was about 12 years old with a pale skin, platinum blond hair and ice blue eyes. He had been watching Harry’s confrontation with the older kids wand was grinning widely in appreciation.

“Do I have something between my teeth?” Harry asked innocently as he sat down next to the older boy.

“You’ve got hair on them,” the teen replied with a chuckle.  
“Then again, I guess that’s expected from Joker’s kid, huh?”

“You know me!” Harry cackled excited.

“My dad told me about you,” the teen said.  
“My name’s Cameron Mahkent, but you can call me Cam.”

“Harold Napier, for the people here at least,” Harry replied with a wink.  
“I don’t particularly care what you call me, as long as it isn’t ‘Harold’.”

“What about Harry, then?” Cameron suggested.

Harry grinned widely.

“Perfect.”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry had barely settled down on his bed for the night when the first explosion shook the building. He sat up immediately, grinning at the loud screams he could hear from outside his cell. His grin only widened when several vines crawled through the creaks of his door before pulling it off its hinches and Poison Ivy walked into the cell.

“There you are,” the plant villainess spoke, smiling at him.

“Hi, aunt Ivy!” Harry greeted cheerfully, jumping out of bed.

Ivy handed Harry something red, making Harry squint to see what it was. When he noticed it were his goggles, he grinned and quickly put them on, sighing happily when the world came back into focus. After he’d hugged his aunt, they walked out of the cell, where Harry was immediately tackled by his mom. As he looked around, he noticed most all of the other boys in the center all staring in fear and horror at them. Harry grinned and zeroed in on the boys who had earlier cornered him, grinning darkly as he hugged his mom back.

“What were ya thinking?!” Harley cried out as she let go of Harry so she could properly scold him.  
“Getting’ caught by that bird-brain because of a little pissing match. And on a school night no less! Ya lucky ya dad’s still stuck in Arkham!”

“… Sorry mom…” Harry mumbled.  
“Next time, I’ll only bait him on weekends.”

“Good,” Harley nodded, looking satisfied.

Ivy sighed and shook her head, but her lips were twitching up and Harry smiled at his aunt. A soft whimper somewhere to the side reminded Harry of their onlookers. He turned away from his mom and aunt and walked up to the boys who had confronted him in the mess hall.

“About that conversation we had before…” he started, smiling sweetly.  
“I stabbed someone before, and I did shoot a cop just last week. I robbed a bank twice now – second time landed me here – I started lots of fights, never set a house on fire, but I did blow up a tank station, as a 7th birthday present. And I stole several cars. Also, I really am 8 years old, if you were wondering.”

Cameron, who was standing a little bit further barked out a laugh at that and grinned at Harry, who smiled back.

“Interested in getting out of this place, Cam?” he asked.

“Hell yeah!” the albino replied, stepping forward.

“Let’s get out of here already before the police, or worse, Batman shows up,” Ivy muttered.

“I want them to show up,” Harry grumbled darkly.  
“I have some unfinished business with Bird-boy.”

Harley frowned and hit Harry on the back of his head.

“When we get home, you’re doing your homework and then it’s straight to bed!”

“But mo-om!” Harry whined, making Cameron snicker amused.

.              .              .               .              .

“Harry!”

Harry looked over to where Dick, Bette, Barbara and Gabe were already sitting together. He smiled at his friends and walked over, waving at them.

“Did you hear? Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy broke into the Youth Detention Centre last night!” Bette cried out wide eyed.

“My dad was sent there to assess the damage,” Barbara added.  
“He said they took two boys with them, but he doesn’t want to say who.”

Harry made a scene in widening his eyes in shock at the news. Dick and Gabe seemed to be doing the same, though Harry had no idea why Gabe was surprised. He’d know it was Harry that was being saved.

“Two?” Gabe asked wide eyed.

“Apparently,” Barbara replied with a shrug.

“One or two, it stays just as weird,” Bette muttered.

“Not really,” Dick mumbled.  
“These last few months, Joker and Harley are often accompanied with a kid.”

Harry’s eye twitched at being called a kid, but he kept quiet. Getting pissed off at something like that would be too big a hint, and Harry liked to stay hidden a bit longer, so instead he stared at Dick in horror.

“You mean that freak brainwashed a kid?!” he exclaimed horrified.

“Psychopathy on that level can’t be taught,” Dick replied coldly.  
“I bet that ‘Child’s Play’ was already too far gone before Joker even got his hooks in him. They’re the kind of people that make Batman necessary.”

“Or Batman needs people like them,” Gabe replied while Harry bit the inside of his cheek to keep his own thoughts to himself.

“No matter who needs who, I’m glad Joker’s still locked away tight. Makes me sleep a bit better at night,” he said, forcing a smile.

“Me too,” Bette agreed smiling relieved.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was in a sour mood by the end of the day, no smile appearing when he noticed it was finally Frank back on driving duty. The man was grinning brightly at Harry, not in the slightest deterred at the boy’s foul mood at all and just continued chatting about his recent vacation to Metropolis to visit his comatose sister in the hospital.

“Your mom has a surprise for you inside,” Frank told him as they arrived at the house.

Harry just scowled deeper and walked inside without a word.

 _“Why so serious?”_ a voice chuckled from his left.

Harry’s eyes widened and he turned around, jumping in the Joker’s arms as he saw him leaning against the doorpost to the living room.

“Dad!” Harry cried out happily.

“All here, but a few screws short!” Joker laughed as he hugged the boy back.

“I missed you! I’m so happy your back!” Harry babbled as he stepped back and stared up at his dad with an adoring gaze.

“So am I kid,” Joker chuckled before he turned a bit more serious.  
“Now, what did I hear about you disobeying your mom and getting arrested?”

Harry’s own smile was wiped away in an instant and he swallowed nervously. He was in so much trouble…

 


	12. Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Joker/Harley, Hetero sex, voyeurism and a lot of Angst

“Ah! Ah! Yes! AAAH!”

Nine years was way too young for this kind of thing. Even Harry knew that much. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t curious. He’d heard the sounds when he arrived home an hour early and rushed towards his parents’ bedroom, thinking his mom was in trouble. To be fair, he was still trying to figure out whether she was or not.

Then again, Joker was the one looming over her, so it couldn’t be that bad, right?

“Ah! More! Yes!”

Alright, maybe she wasn’t in trouble, Harry still couldn’t bring himself to look away. This was something private, something between his parents and he wasn’t supposed to see. Maybe that’s why he wanted to see it anyway.

His parents were both naked, with Joker on top of Harley, holding her hips up as the blonde lay on her back and gripped the murder clown’s biceps tightly. Her eyes were closed and her mouth open as she panted like she’d just run a few miles or something. She was blushing a lot too, in a way Harry had only see her do whenever Joker talked in parseltongue.

If Harry stared hard enough, he could see drop of sweat glistening on Joker’s paper white back. He was moving his hips at a fast rhythm, hitting Harley’s bottom with every slap and the sounds wet skin hitting skin sounded almost deafeningly loud under the even louder moans from Harley and the soft grunts of the Joker. The whole scene was… intoxicating. Harry didn’t want to look away. Ever.

Careful not to make any sounds, Harry moved to the side so he could see what exactly they were doing. He frowned a bit when he noticed Joker’s penis was inside Harley’s vagina. Was that supposed to happen? And how could that not be painful for his mom? There was something inside of her for crying out loud. Especially with the way Joker moved, making the penis go deeper before pulling back out halfway. Harry had heard the older kids talking about this before though… but what did they call it again?

Joker groaned lowly and grabbed Harley by the back of her knees, pulling her legs up in the air as he stared moving faster and harder. It was almost a blur to Harry, who had a hard time focusing on Joker’s thing when Harley’s boobs were bouncing like that.

Harley had grabbed the headboards with both her hands to stop herself from moving with how hard Joker was pounding into her and she moaned loudly. Harry wondered if this was a lover’s thing, like kissing and making babies… Sex! That’s what it was! His parents were having sex, which meant they were trying to make a baby.

His eyes widened in horror as he realized this. His parents, his _adoptive parents_ wanted to have a baby of their own. One that wasn’t from other parents like Harry, but one they would love and cherish and who would take Harry’s place. Harry was just an orphan they had taken in after all. Their own kid would be much better than he was.

The soft sob he released had Joker and Harley tense. Joker scowled annoyed as he turned his head to look at who was interrupting them while Harley did so with wide eyes in horror. Harry’s lip quivered as he stared at his pa- at the people that had taken him in.

“Harry!” Harley exclaimed, pushing Joker away from her so she could hide under the covers.  
“We can explain, honey, really! Just-… Ha-Harry?!”

The boy didn’t want to listen to whatever explanation they could come up with. The only reason one needed to explain anything was because they were doing something awful. If you didn’t have to explain yourself, that meant it was ok to do things, because people understood why you did it.

He turned away and ran out, not wanting his not-parents to see the tears in his eyes. If they didn’t want him around anymore, then so be it, but the least they could do was tell him he wasn’t wanted anymore! Maybe they just wanted him around in case there was something wrong with the baby.

Harry ignored the calls of his name as he ran out of the Hideout. The goons who were still around all jumped to the side, yelling at him as he raced past, but none of them tried to stop them. Of course not, why would they want Harry around if their boss was going to have a real kid soon? Harry was pretty sure they were all eagerly waiting for Harry to be replaced by Joker’s _true_ heir.

“Harry!” Gabe called out, running after him.

Harry didn’t slow down, not wanting the other to see he was crying. He ran up onto the street, not slowing down at all as he ran forth towards the only place he could think of: Wayne Mansion.

It was a very long run, since Wayne Mansion was just outside of town, at the other side of Gotham as where the Joker’s Hideout was. Still, Harry’s training allowed him to actually make it there without stopping his run once. He was completely out of breath and out of tears when he arrived though. The large front door was immediately opened when he rang the bell.

“Master Riddle?” the old butler asked shocked.

“Hello, Alfred, is-is Dick home?” Harry asked weakly, feeling new tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

“He’s helping master Bruce with a project, I’ll go get him right away,” Alfred replied as he gently led Harry into the kitchen.  
“Do you wish for something while you wait?”

A beer, Harry thought immediately, but he just shook his head. He was only a kid, just because his d- the Joker’s men liked to share their alcohol and cigarettes with him didn’t mean Alfred, who even scolded Bruce for not eating enough vegetables, would willingly hand something like that over.

“Just stay here while I get master Richard for you, young sir,” the butler told him.

Harry just nodded solemnly and rested his head on his arms. He was really tired after running over all the way. His body ached from pushing himself too far, and the fear and adrenaline was now slowly subsiding, leaving him dizzy with exhaustion.

When Dick finally arrived, Harry was already fast asleep. The other boy sighed, brushing some of Harry’s hair out of the way. The strange scar was made visible by his action and Dick couldn’t help but stare at it for a few moments. Harry had told him the killer of his parents had given it to him.

Harry moved a bit, his eyes slowly fluttering open again at the soft strokes in his hair. Slowly, he sat up, looking at Dick with weary, puffy red eyes. Tear tracks went down his red cheeks and there still hung some snot on the boy’s nose. Frowning, Dick handed Harry a tissue before pulling him to his feet.

“I don’t need an explanation yet,” he said calmly.  
“You just need some rest. Let’s go to my room.”

Harry nodded and allowed Dick to pull him through the large house and up the stairs to his big bedroom. The first time Harry had seen it, he had exclaimed the room was almost as big as his whole house, and the adjoining bathroom was bigger than his own bedroom. After that, he always commented on how he thought Dick was a saint to live in such small quarters. Now though, he didn’t speak a word as he let Dick help him out of his clothes and into a set of soft PJ’s.

Dick stayed by Harry’s side as the boy clambered into the bed, muttering a quiet thanks. Dick just nodded and turned away, ready to join Bruce again, but Harry grabbed his arm and looked up at him pleadingly.

“S-stay with me? Please?” Harry whispered softly.

Dick scowled, but nodded. Quickly, he put on his own PJ’s and climbed into the large bed next to his friend. Harry smiled relieved and grabbed Dick’s hand. He was asleep before Dick was even fully settled. Dick looked down at his friend and squeezed his hand gently, getting a soft squeeze in return. Whatever happened to Harry, he was completely shaken up about it.

.              .              .               .              .

“Is everything alright, Harry?” Bruce asked during breakfast.

Harry looked up and gave the billionaire a weak smile before nodding. Neither of his hosts believed him, as he had yet to release Dick’s hand from the iron grip he had held on it during the entire night. They were having waffles for breakfast, and Harry ate them with great taste, only using his left hand, which caused some spilling, but the boy didn’t really seemed to notice. He was oddly quiet and seemed to be lost in thought the entire morning.

“You’ll have to let go of me, unless you want to come with me to the toilet?” Dick teased as he finished breakfast.

Normally, this would be the perfect moment for Harry to make some vulgar joke, but instead, he just nodded meekly and released Dick’s hands, looking a bit like a scolded dog. Dick almost apologized and offer his hand back, but he quickly shook it off and rushed to the bathroom, taking his clothes with him.

When he came back, Harry was back on his bed, sitting cross legged and dressed. He was staring at Dick, his green eyes wide and innocent. It broke Dick’s heart to see his best friend in such a state, and he didn’t even know why Harry was like this. Still, he didn’t dare ask, for fear the poor boy would break down even more. If Harry wanted to tell him, he’d do so, in his own time.

Slowly, Dick sat down next to Harry, cautious, as if Harry was a wild animal he didn’t want to startle. Harry immediately latched onto him, laying down his head on Dick’s lap and wrapping his arms around his waist, tightly holding on to Dick. The other boy bit the inside of his cheek to keep from giggling as Harry’s nose pressed into his stomach and put a hand on the wild black hair on his lap to pet it.

“…If you found a better friend than me, will you leave me?” Harry suddenly asked quietly.

“Where would I find a better friend?” Dick asked chuckling, but he quickly sobered up when he saw Harry wasn’t smiling with him.  
“Of course I wouldn’t leave you. You’re my best friend, and I can guarantee I’ll never find someone better than you. I promise, Harry.”

Harry peeked up, one bright green eye staring hopeful and tearful up at Dick.

“Really?” he sniffed.

“Really,” Dick smiled.

Harry suddenly jumped up and hugged Dick around the neck, pressing his lips against Dick’s in an unexpected kiss. Dick’s eyes widened in shock, he sat tensely until Harry pulled back and smiled tearfully at his friend.

“Thanks, Dick,” he said quietly.

“N-no problem.”

A knock on the door had them both look up. Alfred stepped in, looking at both of them with a raised brow, making Dick blush furiously while Harry just blinked up innocently at the old man.

“Master Richard, Master Riddle, it seems you have a visitor,” the butler said calmly before opening the door wider.

Gabriel came rushing in and jumped on the bed, grabbing Harry in a tight embrace.

“There you are, Harry!” he exclaimed relieved.  
“Do you have any idea how worried your parents are?! Your mom is going around interrogating anyone you ever even talked to and your dad is… I don’t know what he’s doing, but weird things happen to people all around him! Everyone is scared for their- your life, Harry!”

“Why would they care if I’m gone?” Harry asked bitterly, making both Gabe and Dick frown confused.

“Why wouldn’t they?” Dick asked confused.  
“You always said how they loved you and all.”

“Everyone can make mistakes,” Harry muttered.

“Of course they fu-freaking love you, Harry!” Gabe exclaimed.  
“They love you more than anyone ever imagined! Your mom is actually thinking of trying to get the Batman to help find you if you don’t show up by tonight.”

Harry’s eyes widen, and so did Dick’s. His mom was willing to ask the Batman for help in finding him? Why? The Bat would take him away. If he was found, he wouldn’t go back home but to some foster home or something. Or-or was that the plan? Get rid of Harry that way, but why even bother when they could just leave him be?

“You should go home, Harry,” Dick said.  
“They’re worried about you. If you want, I’ll come with.”

“Alright, I’ll go home,” Harry sighed.  
“But you don’t have to come, really.”

“If you’re sure…” Dick muttered doubtfully.

Harry pulled away from Gabe and hugged Dick instead.

“Thanks, Dick,” he mumbled before standing up and walking to the door.  
“Take me home, Jives!”

Gabe rolled his eyes, waving goodbye at Dick before walking after Harry. Dave was outside in his car, waiting for the two of them to join him. when he saw Harry, he gave a crooked grin.

“Welcome back, little Prince,” he said.

“We’ll see about that,” Harry replied bitterly.

.              .              .               .              .

“HARRY!”

Harry winced at the volume, and stayed tensely on his spot as he was tackled by Harley, gripped into a tight hug that knocked the breath out of him. For a moment, he was pretty sure Harley wanted him dead, but then she let him go and leaned down so they were face to face.

“What were you thinking! Leaving all of a sudden?” Harley asked worried.  
“I know that what you saw can be a bit… disturbing at your age, but everything’s alright, hun! Nothing to worry about!”

Harry looked at her blankly, not saying a single word to her.

“Why did you do that, Harry?” Harley asked quietly.

Again, Harry didn’t answer at all. He just stared at her, keeping his face perfectly void of any emotion. This made the Joker, who was leaning against the wall behind Harley growl in anger and stalk over.

“Your mother asked you a question, kid,” he growled annoyed.

“What mother?” Harry sneered cruelly, glaring at Joker.

Harley gasped in horror and stumbled backwards while the Joker glared at him. It happened much faster than Harry could have anticipated and he suddenly found himself on the ground, his cheek burning fiercely after the harsh smack. The Joker was looming over him, sneering in anger. For a moment, Harry actually believed he saw the Joker’s eyes flash red, but it was gone so fast it could as well have been Harry’s imagination.

“WHAT. The FUCK. Is wrong with you?!” Joker screamed angrily.

“Don’t hit my baby!” Harley screeched.

“GET OUT HARLEY!” Joker bellowed.

Harley squeaked in fear and after another moment of hesitation, she stormed to the door.

“If I see even _one hair_ out of place by our baby, I’ll kill ya!” she warned before slamming the door.

Harry winced at the sound and cowered under the glare from his adoptive father, cradling his cheek. Though he had already accepted his parents didn’t love him, he had still expected his mom to protect him from the Joker’s wrath. Now, she was gone and he was left at the mercy of his dad. And Harry was pretty sure he didn’t have any.

“Why are you acting like this Harry?” the Joker asked sighing, crouching down next to the boy.

“Why would you care? I’m just a spare anyway. You’ll get rid of me soon,” Harry muttered.

A white gloved hand pressed against his bruised cheek harshly, making Harry wince, but nothing more happened. Then to Harry’s surprise, the Joker started to softly stroke the heated, reddened skin of his struck cheek.

“And why would you think that, kid?” he asked.  
“I admit I’m a bit impulsive, but even I won’t dump a kid a few years after adopting him… You still have another few good years on you!”

“So you’ll keep me around until your own kid is old enough to replace me?” Harry asked incredulous.  
“If you think I’ll stay around to see that happen, you’re wrong! I can take care of myself! You can’t-”

Harry hadn’t expected the second slap either, and it send him toppling to his side with a shout. His head slammed into the harsh stone floor before a hand dug in his hair and pulled him back up roughly, forcing him face to face with the Joker.

“I _took you in_ , so you better show me some respect!” Joker spat angrily.

Without letting go of Harry’s scalp, he stood up and dragged Harry with him. Once they were both on their feet, he switched his grip to Harry’s upper hand, gripping hard enough to bruise there too. Harry was still reeling from the slaps earlier, so he let his dad drag him out of the room and towards his own bedroom.

Harry was roughly thrown on his bed while Joker calmly sat down next to him. Harry, still upset about the abuse he just suffered, crawled up to the headboard and took to glaring silently at the Joker, who just sighed in annoyance and grabbed Harry’s ankle, dragging him back over to the middle of the bed.

“Let me go!” Harry shouted angrily, trying to struggle free.

“Shut the fuck up, kid! I own you!” Joker hissed.

This made Harry stop immediately. His eyes wide as his dad settled on top of him, straddling him.

“Alright, now you’re going to _calmly_ tell me why you think there is even gonna be a kid to replace you,” Joker demanded him.  
“If you won’t tell me now, I’ll beat it out of you, and trust me, kid, I won’t take it easy just because your mom told me so.”

Harry sniffed and glared at the Joker, who just stared back unimpressed. The man lifted his hand threateningly, making Harry flinch fearfully.

“I saw you!” he shouted hurriedly.  
“I know you have sex to make babies! You’re replacing me!”

Joker stared at Harry for a few moments before he laid down, burying his face in the crook of Harry’s neck and laughed. Harry stayed entire still, eyes wide in shock as he felt tears of laughter wet the side of his face. After a while, Joker sat back up, still chuckling and grinning widely. Harry flinched again when the Clown Prince patted his bruised cheek.

“My dear sweet child,” the man mocked.  
“Having kids is not in my plans. I have sex because I like the feeling, not for reproduction.”

Harry frowned. They could do that? He’d never heard of doing it like that before.

“There are different sorts of sex,” the Joker explained when he saw Harry’s confused face.  
“You have making babies and making love, which often goes hand in hand. And then, there’s fucking, which is what I do with your mom. We just do it to feel good and nothing more.”

“Oh,” Harry mumbled.

The hand still lying next to Harry’s face started stroking him again and Joker leaned in closer, letting their noses almost touch. Harry swallowed nervously, crossing his eyes to properly look into the Joker’s.

“So, Harry,” Joker spoke softly, grabbing the boy’s chin gently.  
“Are you going to run away from me again?”

Harry shivered. His dad barely ever addressed him by his name. Usually, he was just Kid, or Kiddo, but barely ever was he Harry. The glint Joker currently held in his eyes was somewhat terrifying, but Harry swallowed down his fear and shook his head. If his dad didn’t want him gone, he’d stay because…

“And why won’t you leave again?” Joker asked softly.

“Because you own me,” Harry whispered.

“Good boy,” Joker said, kissing the boy’s cheek.

.              .              .               .              .

Dick pretty much had the shock of his life (second only to watching his parents plummet to their deaths) when Harry arrived at school the very next day. They boy was practically glowing, a wide grin and sparkling green eyes that would have put his worried mind at ease if it weren’t for the black eye and swollen, bruised cheekbone.

“What the heck happened to you?!” the boy asked horrified.

“I had a talk with my parents! Turned out the whole thing was just one big misunderstanding,” Harry said cheerfully.

“So they beat you?!”

Harry blinked in confusion before his eyes widened in realization and he touched the large bruise on his face, chuckling a bit.

“My mom actually tried to kill my dad when she saw it,” he snickered.  
“But it’s ok. I deserve it for scaring them like I did. I was just being an idiot.”

“Beating is never ok, Harry!” Dick shouted, grabbing his friend by his shoulders.

“Calm down, Dick!” Harry laughed.  
“It’s not like this happens a lot. In fact, this is the first time my dad hit me, and he promised it wouldn’t happen again unless I try something like yesterday again.”

“Even then! Harry, you can’t let him beat you, ever!”

“I don’t mind. I barely even feel it anymore anyway,” the other boy shrugged happily.  
“Besides, I learned that my parents really do love me, in their own way, and that’s all that matters to me in the end.”

Dick shut up reluctantly, still scowling unhappily. He’d seen more than enough abusive parents to know that Harry’s attitude was unhealthy and could land him in a very bad situation soon enough. But maybe Harry was right. Maybe this would stay at one time and he wouldn’t have to worry about his friend’s well-being. Maybe Harry was more stable than he gave him credit for.

He wasn’t really convinced.

 


	13. First Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ALMOST FORGOT TO UPDATE
> 
> But didn't ^_^

“Alright, class! This vacation, I want you all to write an essay about your parents,” Mr. Johnson, who had been substituting for Miss Alice since halfway through third grade spoke up.  
“You interview them for this about how they met, how they fell in love and anything else interesting about them.”

Harry’s hand was in the air before the teacher finished talking, Dick, next to him doing the same. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Bette tense up and he smirked.

“Yes, Riddle,” Mr. Johnson sighed.

“Is them being dead interesting enough?” he asked bluntly.

“You can interview your adoptive parents,” the man replied curtly before turning towards Dick.  
“The same goes for you, Greyson. Talk to Mr. Wayne.”

“You mean ask how Bruce met my mom?” Dick asked innocently.  
“Are you saying my mom cheated on my dad? That’s horrible!”

Harry and several other students snickered amused, but Mr. Johnson just glared at Dick.

“You ask Bruce about his past and write your essay about him,” he said annoyed.

“If I could just do that, I’d have sold his story to the papers already,” Dick replied dryly.  
“I don’t know if you heard this before, but ever since his parents were murdered in front of him when he was a kid himself, he’s been very private about his past.”

“And my adoptive parents don’t like to talk about those things either,” Harry joined in.  
“They adopted me because they could relate, you know? With all the blood and carnage… they don’t like to think back on the bad days. You know? I think a lot of kids have that problem living in Gotham.”

“Fine! No homework!” Mr. Johnson eventually caved.  
“Class dismissed. Everyone get out! I don’t want to see any of your faces before Christmas break’s over.”

The whole class cheered loudly while Harry and Dick grinned and high-fived each other. Over the past few years, they had become both heroes and terrors to their schoolmates and they loved it. The three musketeers were the most famous kids in Gotham Elementary, the Horror Trio, as they were called in the safety of the teacher’s lounge.

“Plans this vacation?” Harry asked Dick as they packed their bags and made their way out of the classroom.

“Bruce was thinking Japan or Nepal, but nothing concrete yet,” Dick replied shrugging.  
“What about you and your ever elusive parents?”

“Same,” Harry said with a grin.  
“The not conclusive part. Obviously we aren’t flying to the fucking Orient.”

“You really shouldn’t curse so much,” Bette spoke up, shaking her head.  
“But I wish you both luck with the holidays. My parents and I are leaving for LA tonight.”

Harry grinned at the girl before throwing an arm over Dick’s shoulder.

“Why do they split us up like that?” he cried dramatically.  
“I won’t see any of you guys until school starts again!”

“And even then you only see us when you can stay awake,” Dick chuckled.

“Who’s not seeing anyone anymore?” Gabe asked as he and Barbara approached.

“Me! I fear I’m going blind!.. Blinder!” Harry cried out.  
“Even with my glasses… Everything is turning dark… Is this what dying feels like?”

The others all laughed as Harry put a hand on his chest, waving the other in front of his face, and staggered backwards. His back hit the wall and Harry slid down with a fearful whimper.

“Goodbye, cruel world! You will no longer hurt me!” he whimpered dramatically.  
“Never forget me, my friends! I love you all deeply!”

Dick gasped in horror and kneeled down next to his friend, grabbing him by his shoulders and shaking him in a panic.

“Harry!” he called desperately.  
“Whatever you do, don’t go into the light!”

“What light?!” Harry cried out, his eyes wide open.  
“I’m blind! Everything is black!”

“In that case, you’re not dying,” Dick stated, calmly standing back up.  
“Let’s get going already. Alfred doesn’t like waiting.”

“Poor you, getting scolded by the _butler_ ,” Harry teased as he stood back up.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry had a light skip in his step as he walked towards the hideout along with Gabe. They chatted cheerfully, and Harry proudly conveyed his and Dick’s success in making the teacher take back the homework assignment. This made the older boy laugh amused and he clapped Harry on the back lightly.

“I’m not surprised at all,” the brunette laughed.  
“Mr. Johnson saved his own sanity, giving in. Miss Alice wasn’t so lucky.”

Harry grinned, remembering his teacher the first two years of elementary school. She had run out of the class crying four months after the start of third grade and never returned. Perhaps Harry shouldn’t have climbed through the window back into the classroom after being sent out. Especially not because their classroom was on the first floor. He had sat on the windowsill, claiming he wasn’t technically in the classroom, and had proceeded to complain about Miss Alice’s indecisiveness when she ordered him back inside. He guessed that, combined with the pranks that had him being sent to the hallway in the first place had been her breaking point.

“It helps that he was already warned by the other teachers,” Harry said grinning.  
“He tried to ‘tame’ me and Dick at first, but he gave up last year.”

“With your dad being who he is, he did the wisest thing he could,” Gabe snickered.

They arrived at the abandoned warehouse before long and walked in through the side entrance, which was being guarded by Don and a dark skinned bald man named Jim. Harry waved in greeting as Gabe just nodded at the two men. They grinned, Jim showing off his two golden teeth by the action.

“Welcome back, little Prince,” he said, in his deep, almost soothing voice.

“Thanks, Jimmy!” Harry replied cheerfully.  
“Are our parents in?”

“Dave’s out at the moment, checking the premises of the new job,” Don replied.  
“The Joker and Harley are in and waiting for both a ya.”

Gabe paled at that. Though he was already 11 years old, and had been hanging out with Harry for nearly 5 years, he hadn’t met Harley or Joker up close yet. In fact, he had once told Harry he wasn’t planning on for another few years. Gabe was terrified of the Joker, even more now since he was thinking of joining Riddler’s gang once he grew up. He’d only confessed this to Harry recently, scared he’d tell the Joker. With the way he was now looking at Harry, it looked like he believed Harry did exactly that.

“If he heard anything, it wasn’t me,” the boy hissed annoyed.  
“I don’t tell on friends, and believe it or not, but you’re a friend.”

Gabe scowled and nodded gravely. He dug his hands deeply into his pockets and mucked behind Harry.

“11 and already fearing for my life,” he muttered bitterly.

“Want us to pick up a bulletproof vest first before I introduce you to my folks?” Harry teased chuckling.

“Is everything a joke to you?” Gabe growled annoyed.

“Duh! Have you met my dad?!”

“No. That’s the whole point of this conversation.”

Harry laughed loudly as Gabe glared at him. The brunette hunched his shoulders some more and dragged his feet reluctantly as he followed Harry into the ‘Meeting Room’, which was really just an empty room with some old chairs and a large, dusty table. Someone had painted the name **_‘Meating Rom’_** on the door in a messy scrawl. Inside were Joker, Harley, Frank, a man named Carl and two young women, Jane and Kate. They were the only two of the female gender in the gang besides Harley, and both had made it to Joker’s lieutenants. He knew them rather well, as Kate was his mom’s five years younger sister, and Jane was raised along with them, being an orphaned street rat, she had been picked up by the sisters at a young age and had lived with the Quinzel family until the age of 18. Kate and Jane were just as ruthless as Harley, and Jane was extremely loyal to the sisters.

“Something you need, daddy?” Harry asked innocently, ignoring how Gabe tensed and whimpered in fear at the sight of the most dangerous people inside the organization.

“Yeah. I talked to Dave,” Joker said, scowling when Gabe made a noise like a dying cat.  
“He said you two get along really great, so I thought it might be fun if your little friend joins us on this night’s raid… is-is he alright? I like green and all, but not on a kid’s face…”

“You’re the fucking Joker! Clown Prince of Crime,” Harry replied, rolling his eyes.  
“How do you expect a kid to react to you, huh? Smile and wave? The teachers in school threaten with your name as if you’re the boogeyman.”

“Really?” his dad asked curiously.

“I remember that,” Jane nodded, smirking.  
“My neighbor yelled at her kid a coupla weeks back, sayin’ that if he didn’t eat his vegetables you’d come and attack him in his room.”

The others all laughed at that, while Joker put a hand on his chest and pouted.

“How hurtful!” he exclaimed.  
“I haven’t even eaten my own vegetables.”

Harry grinned and leaned over to Gabe.

“He’s such a great example,” he stage whispered.

“If you don’t want to join us in robbing the mall, then so be it,” Joker said flippantly.  
“I wouldn’t want to be a _bad example_ for my precious son after all…”

“The _whole mall_?!” Harry asked wide eyed.  
“That’s awesome! I so want in on that!”

Joker laughed maniacally and grabbed Harry’s shoulder, steering him towards the backdoor of the room.

“Costume’s hanging ready for you and one for Michael? Raphael?”

“Gabriel,” Harry told his dad, shaking his head amused.

“All those winged assholes are the same to me,” Joker shrugged.

.              .              .               .              .

Child’s Play was downright giddy as he danced around the toy store. Gabe, wearing black cargo pants, a blue plain shirt and a clown mask, was looking around the shelves curiously. They were both looking around for toys they could keep while Joker and his men were rounding up all hostages.

“You want a G.I. Joe?” Gabe asked, holding up one of the action men.

“Sure! They look cool!” Child’s Play agreed happily.

“This is so exciting! I can’t believe I’m robbing the mall with the _Joker!_ ” Gabe cried out happily.

“Neither can I,” Batman spoke, his voice deep and threatening.

Gabe’s eyes widened and he made a soft whimpering sound, while Harry took out his clubs and crouched down.

“What? Bird-boy not up for the big gig yet?” he asked teasingly as he noted the lack of wonder boy.

A force slammed into him from behind, landing on his back as Child’s Play went down.

“You called?” Robin asked smugly, pressing the tip of his Bo-staff into the back of the boy’s neck.

With the ease of a trained acrobat, Child’s Play quickly turned around so he was facing his opponent and grinned widely. He grabbed the staff with one hand, holding it away from him while he grabbed his club again with the other, swinging it into Robin’s temple harshly. The other boy went down easily and Child’s Play jumped up quickly, while Batman checked his sidekick, Child’s Play grabbed Gabe’s wrist and rushed out of the store.

“Bat in the Toy Store on the second floor!” he screamed as loud as he could.

 _“You heard him boys!”_ Joker’s voice sounded through the coms.

Immediately, several men came rushing towards where Child’s Play and Gabe had just come from while the two kids made their way down towards the diner where all the hostages were being held. Harley was already waiting for them as they arrived there.

“Ya two are done for today, kids!” the blonde said.  
“Get out through the back. Dave’s drivin’ ya out.”

Child’s Play scowled, but still walked into the diner with Gabe while his mom called a few of her guys together to stop Batman. Only three other men were still there with the hostages as they passed them by, and all three nodded in respect at their boss’ kid.

“Yeah, run!” a woman called out spitefully.  
“Batman will catch you freaks anyway!”

Child’s Play frowned in annoyance. He nodded at Gabe that he should leave without him and approached the woman who had spoken.

“What did you say again?” the boy asked quietly.

“Go to hell you sick brat!”

Child’s Play used his club to strike the woman in the face, and she fell down easily while the other hostages quickly got out of the way. Many seemed completely in shock at the young boy’s actions, but no one else dared to raise their voice.

“That’s enough, Child’s Play.”

The boy looked up to see Batman and Robin standing over the downed bodies of the three clowns, leaving Child’s Play to fend for himself. The young Prince Heir didn’t hesitate to grab the woman by her hair and press his gun against her head.

“If you move, I’ll kill her,” he warned.

Robin tensed and looked at batman, who narrowed his eyes dangerously. After only hesitating for a few seconds, the Defender of Gotham moved forward.

“You won’t shoot, Child’s Play,” he said confidently.  
“I know that deep down, you don’t want any of this.”

Child’s Play grinned and cocked the gun.

“Wrong guess, Bats.”

**_BANG!!!_ **

 


	14. Bad Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so a lot of people have been asking me why Harry isn’t using magic in combat. The answer is really simple I just hadn’t thought of that. I’ll try to remember Harry is indeed capable of magic when writing the next fighting scene.
> 
> Also, I haven’t changed it here because it wouldn’t fit (or it would, but it would ask too much work) so Harry is still not using magic.

 

Child’s Play cackled maniacally as Robin and Batman stared at him in horror. His hand was still lifted, the gun smoking as it was still aimed at the girl’s face, or what was left of it at least. Because of the close proximity, the right half of her face, mainly where her eye used to be, was now a big, bloody hole. Chunks of brain matter were sticking to the parts of her cheek that were still intact and blood oozed from the ginormous wound.

“Whoops! Looks like she couldn’t… **_keep her head on straight!_** ” Child’s Play giggled.

“You’re sick!” Robin screamed horrified.  
“How could you do that! Why would you-”

“You think because I’m a kid, I wouldn’t be serious with my threat?!” Child’s Play asked annoyed.  
“I said: ‘If you move, I’ll kill her’, so that’s what I did! What did you think would happen, bird-brain?”

“You _killed her_!” Robin screamed.

“As I said I would,” the young Prince Heir of Crime shrugged.  
“Really, you guys shouldn’t underestimate me. There’s a reason I’m the Joker’s Heir!”

With a shout of anger, Robin jumped him. Child’s Play laughed maniacally and jumped to the side, only to be hit by a batarang from the Bat himself. The boy criminal went down with a grunt, and Robin was immediately on top of him, cuffing his arms behind his back. Child’s Play just giggled and as he was turned on his back, he surged upwards and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on Robin’s cheek. This was immediately followed by a fist to his stomach. Child’s Play grunted again before he threw his head back and laughed loudly. Robin gritted his teeth in anger and smacked the young criminal in the face. This only made Child’s Play laugh even harder, causing Robin to hit him again and again until Batman pulled him off the other boy.

“He’s not worth it,” the Dark Knight told his sidekick.

Child’s Play looked up at them and grinned cockily, showing off his missing tooth. Blood was dripping from the corner of his mouth and nose. His cheek was turning a dark purple and was swollen.

“He’s right,” he said tauntingly.  
“I only blew some chick’s head off. Stupid bitch had it coming anyway.”

“You _bastard_!” Robin screamed, pulling free again from Batman’s grip.

The boy rushed forward, clearly intending to hurt Child’s Play again, but was stopped when Harley appeared and slammed her giant mallet into the young Boy Wonder’s pelvis. Robin staggered backwards and slammed into a wall. With a pained groan, the boy slid down, clutching his stomach, face scrunched up in agony from the hit.

“Nobody hurts my baby!” Harley growled warningly.

Harley and Batman battled for a while, but the blonde was quickly defeated by the Dark Knight and put in cuffs as well. Just in time it seemed too, as the sirens of the police finally reached them. It took less than a minute for a Swat Team, led by commissioner Gordon to reach them.

“What about the Joker?” Gordon asked, eyeing Child’s Play and Harley warily.

“Escaped,” Batman grunted.

Child’s Play looked up to his mother and the two shared a proud grin. At least his dad had gotten out, and Harry knew Joker wouldn’t let them rot in Arkham too long. He’d be out before the end of the vacation.

“Alright, let’s take Harley back to Arkham and the kid to the Youth Detention Centre,” the commissioner ordered.

“No. take him to Arkham as well,” Batman told him.

“But-”

“Child’s Play may be a kid, but he’s too dangerous.”

“Why, Bats! If I knew I only needed to kill someone to be worth your time, I’d have done it earlier!” Child’s Play giggled, creeping several policemen out.

“Why you little-!” Robin growled, stepping forward, only to be stopped by Batman.

“He’ll be at his place in Arkham,” Batman told the commissioner.

“If you say so, Batman,” the man sighed.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry sighed annoyed. He was lying on a sofa in the doc’s office, still tightly secured in a straitjacket that he was forced to wear whenever he was taken out of his Maximum Security cell. He had really hoped Arkham would be a bit more interesting. It could still be worse he guessed, and besides, this was only the first day, so who knew?

“Alright, Harry, let’s start with the beginning, alright?” the doctor, a young man with mousy hair and a crooked nose spoke, smiling at him.

Harry wanted to roll his eyes and sneer at him. Did that idiot seriously think that being nice would work? Harry’s mom was a fucking Psychiatrist herself for fuck’s sake! Harry knew all the tricks already.

“So, let’s talk about why you hurt people,” the doctor spoke.

Harry sighed and shuffled around on the couch. The straight jacket was getting pretty uncomfortable, but he refused to complain. This was his first run in the Asylum, and as his dad had told him, he better set up a reputation because he’d be there a lot more often from now on.

 _“I’ve got bad blood,”_ he said eventually, sighing sadly.  
_“I’ve done bad things. But how can I control myself if I enjoy this nasty habit?”_

He started off the lyrics of the Creature Feature song without even fully realizing it, but as soon as he did, he decided to go with it. The doctor didn’t seem to notice at all, and just wrote down what he was saying.

 _“I can hear the voices stirring. All the awful things they’re planning!”_ continued, seeing the way the doctor looked up in surprise at that.

He curled up, as if trying to cover his ears and closed his eyes, sniffling fearfully.

“We’ll get you help,” the doctor soothed.  
“All you need to do is work with us-”

 _“Oh, I don’t play nice,”_ Harry cut in, going back to grinning widely.  
_“I don’t give in. Was it nature, was it nurture? Maybe I was just born evil.”_

“No one is born evil, Harry,” the doctor quickly replied, smiling gently.  
“We can help you if you let us. Get you away from those _people_ that have these bad influences on you.”

 _“It’s no use. I can’t control it,”_ Harry muttered, shaking his head before grinning darkly at the doctor.  
_“Maybe… it’s a sign not to quit.”_

The doctor blinked in shock at the words, but soon recovered and shook his head.

“Of course it isn’t. We could give you medication and a balanced life, protect you,” he said.

Harry ignored him and hummed the melody of ‘Bad Blood’ under his breath before looking at the doctor with his most sincere expression.

“ _I can guarantee I will do evil things,”_ he started calmly.  
_“The only way that you can stop me now is if you put me in the ground. Somewhere I’ll never be found. I am most disturbed, I deserve to be interred. Don’t you dare turn your back on me, I’ll attack without a warning sign. **Terror lurks in the night**.”_

He could see the psychiatrist shiver at that last part and he grinned maniacally. He started humming the tune under his breath again, only to disturb the man even more. It worked, he could see him glance nervously at him. As expected of an intern. These people stupidly thought he would be easy because he was only 10 years old. Did they forget who raised him?

“I think we’re done here for today,” the man muttered.

Harry chuckled and waited patiently for the psychiatrist to allow the guards into the room to take him back to his own cell. As soon as they were in the hallway and out of earshot of the young doctor, he started singing quietly.

_“I’ve got nine lives, I’ve done grim acts. No remorse, should I feel guilty, if I enjoy these warped offences?”_

“Shut the hell up, kid!” one of the guards growled, jabbing him in the back with his rifle.

Harry rolled his eyes and started singing on top of his lungs.

_“I can hear the voices stirring, all the awful things they’re planning! I don’t feel pain, I don’t back down. My thoughts are filled with cruel intentions. Maybe my conscience is possessed!”_

They arrived at his cell, opposite to his mother’s. She shouted in anger in the way Harry was shoved in roughly and slammed her hands against the bulletproof glass, snarling at the guards. Harry just laughed, waiting for them to remove the straight jacket and lock the door. As he was alone in his cell, he watched the guards, a sinister smile stretching his lips as he continued his song.

_“It’s no use, I can’t control it. Maybe it’s a sign not to quit.”_

The last part was almost done in a whisper, and he could see a shiver of fear go up one of the guard’s spine. The other one, the same that had tried to shut Harry up earlier growled and slammed his gun against the glass, sneering at the boy.

“This _is_ a sign to quit, kid,” he growled.

“You’re the boss,” Harry replied shrugging.

.              .              .               .              .

After one week in Arkham, people started to know him. The guards that had been nicer to Harry at first because of his age quickly learned better after he’d stabbed one of them in the throat. Sadly, he was still alive, but in critical condition at the hospital. His doctor had been reprimanded for falling for his trick after several Psychiatrist had started analyzing his conversation, and one of them, after two days of discussing Harry’s mental state, realized he knew the song. Harry had laughed in their faces when they came to confront him about it.

At the moment, he was playing chess with the Riddler, who had been arrested about a month before Harry and Harley had, while his mom was watching TV. They were in the common room, where most prisoners could spend their day. Harry was still in his strait jacket, but he was bare footed and used his toes to move his pieces. Riddler had been disgusted at first, but had quickly gotten over it in the end.

A loud explosion shook the whole building, and the guards immediately jumped up, taking out their guns as they rushed out of the room towards where the explosion had come from. Another loud boom had some of the less insane inmates jump in fright while Harry giggled madly.

“Explosions!” he shouted gleefully, before scowling.  
“And I’m not doing it! Why am I not exploding things?”

“Because you’re locked in Arkham and stuffed in a straitjacket,” Riddler pointed out.

“Boo!” Harry pouted childishly.

The third explosion was followed by one of the walls blowing inwards, sending brick and debris all over the room. Many of the criminals had now gotten up and were staring curiously at the large hole in the wall. To Harry’s great surprise, two teens stood in the hole. He recognized the youngest easily from his clothes and mask, as he had worn the same thing by the robbery that had landed him in there in the first place, and the taller one quickly lifted his own mask. He grinned at Harry, pale blue eyes sparking with mischief, making Harry grin back.

“Camron!” he exclaimed.  
“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Repaying a debt,” the teen chuckled.  
“When I heard you were here, I immediately volunteered to bust you out.”

Harry grinned widely and quickly made his way over, jumping over the larger bricks easily. Harley, Riddler, and most all other incarcerated criminals followed suite, and soon enough, the whole courtyard was filled with escaped convicts, all either starting a riot, or silently sneaking away. Harry, along with his two saviors and his mom made their way to the back entrance, where the Joker, Dave, Don, Jane and aunt Kate were waiting for them.

“How was Arkham, kiddo?” Joker asked grinning.

“I had fun,” Harry replied, shrugging casually.

Joker and Jane both threw their heads back and laughed loudly. While all the other adults grinned at him. Kate approached Harry and quickly undid his straitjacket while Don undid the one on Harley.

“I’m afraid vacation is almost over now though, little prince,” the younger sister of his mom told him amused.

“An’ Mr. Joker said ya still had schoolwork ta do,” Jane added smirking.

“It’s only Math…” Harry muttered pouting.

“How about getting out of here before the cops get here, boss?” Dave suggested nervously.

“Drive, Donny!” Joker cackled, while jumping in the back of the van, along with the others.  
“Welcome home, kiddo, Pumpkin!”

“My hero, Puddin’!” Harley squealed, hugging Joker.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry and Gabe walked into the schoolyard together, talking excitedly. Harry was very happy with Gabe’s decision to stay with him and Joker. The past events over the holidays had opened his eyes, and had given him a new respect for the Clown Prince of Crime.

“Harry! Gabe!” Dick called out, waving at them.

He was sitting next to Barbara and Bette, who were both smiling as well. Bette jumped up immediately when she saw them approach and hugged Harry.

“I missed you!” the girl yelled happily.

“I missed you too!” Harry yelled back, giggling as he wrapped his arms around the girl.

As he let go of the girl, he moved towards Dick. The other boy tried to dodge his bone-breaking hug, but wasn’t fast enough to avoid getting caught. Under the thunderous laughter of their friends, Harry planted a wet, sloppy kiss on Dick’s cheek. Giggling, he took a step back, not noticing the scowl on his friends face as he moved to do the same with Barbara, only to get a kick in the guts when he came too close.

“I don’t want any cooties from you,” the redhead told him.

“Fine. No hug for you, Boring Betty,” Harry shot back, sticking out his tongue.

“Hey!” Bette called, playing offended.

“Not you! You’re Fun Bette!”

“So, how was your holiday, Harry? Bette just told us about her stay at her family in LA,” Dick asked.

“Nothing special,” Harry replied with a shrug.  
“Gabe stayed over the last week, so that was fun. But not much else happened.”

“Yeah,” Dick replied, nodding.  
“Mine was pretty boring too. I did hear about that Child’s Play killing a woman in the mall though.”

“What happened to him anyway? After he was arrested, I heard a rumor they put him in Arkham, but that can’t be true, can it?” Harry asked wide eyed.  
“I mean, I know he’s totally messed up and dangerous, but he’s about our age, isn’t he? Arkham would eat him alive!”

He almost winced at his own words, but he kept his expression innocent and curious.

“My dad told me he escaped along with Harley last week,” Barbara replied.

“You mean he really was in Arkham?!” Bette exclaimed shocked.

“Exactly where he belongs if you ask me,” Dick muttered darkly.

.              .              .               .              .

**The song is** [ **Bad Blood by Creature Feature** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohB5AOsqNF8)

 


	15. The Hogwarts Letter

Two weeks before Harry’s 11th birthday, the expected letter finally came. Harry had been very torn in the prospect of it. On one hand, he was excited to have his magical education continued on a higher and more thorough level, but on the other hand, he didn’t look forward to leaving his family and friends to return to England.

His dad had told him about the ‘Prophesy’ that had been made about him and Voldemort and really, the whole thing was annoying as hell. Who did this fucking seer think she was to just push this kind of fate on him? he could do whatever the hell he wanted, thank you very much! So what if he had the ‘Power to vanquish the Dark Lord’? That didn’t mean he had to use it.

“You planning on opening the letter, or are you just gonna stare at it until it bursts into flames?” Joker asked amused.

Harry looked up at his dad and grinned.

“I’m waiting for it to catch on fire,” he replied teasingly.  
“Way more fun than reading anyway.”

Joker released a loud bark of laughter before he looked back over to Harry and ruffled his hair. Harry smiled at the action. It was a habit literally everyone seemed to have, and he started to love it more and more. Another thing that wouldn’t be happening very often once he was at Hogwarts. With a sigh, he tore into the envelope.

*

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

 

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,  
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

 

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

 

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

*

“Supreme Mugwump sounds totally made up,” Harry snickered as he handed the acceptance letter to his mom and grabbed the list.

“Could just as well have been,” Joker muttered frowning.  
“With Dumbledore in charge, the International Confederation of Wizards is a joke. **_And a bad one too._** ”

“A good joke is like this: Knock, knock,” Harry started, grinning.

“Who’s there?” Harley asked cheerfully.

“You know,” Harry said, his grin widening even more.

“You know who?”

“Exactly.”

Joker burst out laughing immediately, while Harley frowned in confusion.

“I don’t get it,” she muttered.

Harry snickered, but quickly sobered up again when the full impact of the situation registered. He was going to a boarding school in Scotland away from his friends and family.

“… I’m really gonna miss you guys,” he whispered quietly.

“We’ll miss ya too, hun!” his mom replied sadly.

She surged forward and hugged Harry tightly, who sniffed a bit sadly and hugged her back. Harry liked his mom’s hugs, but he felt something weird about it this time. He-… did her stomach grow a bit there? He guessed it could happen of course, his mom had caught a bug last month, and she still hadn’t fully recovered from it, so she had been slacking off on her training.

“As long as ya visit, everythin’ will be alright.”

.              .              .               .              .

“Please, Bruce, please!” Dick begged.

“Please, Bruce, please!” Harry echoed.

Harry wanted to go to the show. He really, really wanted to go see Bowling for Soup preform just once before he left. He knew his parents would gladly take him, but he didn’t want that. He wanted to go with Dick, as his best friend liked the bad too. And that’s how they ended up here, running after Bruce, pleading with him the whole time to take them to the concert. The man didn’t give in and just walked away from them with swift steps.

“Bruce, please! It’s for Harry’s birthday!” Dick called out.

“I’m not driving you two halfway across the state to see some concert, Dick,” Bruce sighed.  
“I don’t have the time, you know that. I’m really sorry, boys.”

Harry scowled and ruffled through his own hair in annoyance. He wanted to go. He really, really wanted to go together with Dick, so no way he could ask his own parents. They might scare off his friend and that was something he didn’t want to happen.

“Well… that didn’t go as well as we hoped,” Dick muttered disappointed.  
“Are you sure your folks won’t take us?”

“No way in hell,” Harry grumbled annoyed, ruffling his hair again.

“So, I guess we’re not going then…” Dick sighed.

Harry’s head shot up when he thought of something and he grinned widely. Dick scowled and took a step back, knowing that a smile like that usually meant that Harry had some crazy and most likely illegal plan that would either get them in major trouble or would make them living legends.

“What are you thinking,” he asked warily.

“How far are you willing to go for that concert?” Harry asked slyly.

“Depends on what you’re planning,” Dick replied suspicious.

Harry’s grin merely widened.

.              .              .               .              .

“How do you even know how to drive?!” Dick asked nervously.

“You mean you don’t?” Harry shot back grinning.

Dick gulped as Harry sped over the highway out of Gotham in one of Bruce’s cars, that Harry had somehow started up without a key, but Dick preferred not to look into his friend’s talent to in Carjacking. When Harry suggested they’d ‘borrow’ a car like he’d called it, Dick shouldn’t have agreed so easily. Really, what had he thought? That the cars automatically came with drivers?

“You sure you can get us there without killing us?” Dick asked.  
“I mean, it is a two hour long drive you know.”

“Don’t worry, this isn’t my first time driving!” Harry laughed cheerfully.

Of course, that experience he had was as a getaway driver for his parents, but there was no way in hell he was going to tell Dick about that. He liked to keep his friend, thank you very much.

“Alright, I trust you,” Dick muttered slowly.

“Now try and say it as if you mean it,” Harry snorted, rolling his eyes.

Dick gave a nervous chuckle at that and tightened his hold on the dashboard. His eyes widened when he saw the police barricade up front and with the tensing of Harry’s shoulders beside him, he knew his friend had noticed them too.

“Crap,” Harry cursed softly.

“We’re dead,” Dick whimpered.

“Don’t be dramatic, Dickie,” Harry replied.  
“Just… sit quietly and let me do the talking.”

Dick frowned and nodded in agreement as he lowered himself some more in his seat. He really had no idea what Harry was planning, but at least his friend _had_ a plan. He watched the cops tensely as they made them stop, admiring the calm way Harry opened the window and smiled indulgently at them.

“Can I help you, officer?” he asked calmly.

The police officer was staring at them with wide eyes in shock before he narrowed them dangerously.

“The hell do you think you’re doin’, kid?” the cop asked angrily.

“Kid?!” Harry exclaimed, sounding very insulted at the ‘accusation’.  
“I happen to be 35, you idiot! Are you mocking me because I have a condition? What kind of example do you think you’re setting for my son?”

The police officer reeled back in shock as Harry glared at him. A second cop walked up and started talking quietly with the first before leaning into the window, looking at Harry skeptically.

“Papers and driver’s license,” the cop said gruffly.

Harry smiled at him and nodded before leaning over to Dick to open the glove department and ruffle through it. He glanced up at Dick for a moment, trying to convey with his eyes that the other should play along if they wanted to stay out of trouble.

“Well darn!” Harry exclaimed, sounding embarrassed.  
“Looks like I forgot my papers at home…”

“Not again, dad!” Dick groaned, burying his face in his hands.  
“I really wanted to go to the concert! I wish mom could drive me. At least she looks like she’s her age…”

Harry made an indignant noise and hit Dick on the head in a playful way. The police officer just raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for the two of them to stop the act. This made Harry sigh and he turned back towards the man.

“Listen, officer,” he started calmly.  
“I’m sure we can arrange something, can’t we?”

“Yeah right,” the cop snorted.  
“Out you go, kid. You and your buddy can wait for mommy and daddy at the police station.”

“This is outrageous! Discrimination towards the vertically impaired!” Harry exclaimed furious, but the man didn’t buy it.

.              .              .               .              .

How Harry had done it, Dick had no idea, but within a minute of their imprisonment, the boy had produced a mouth harmonica and started playing blues music on it while Dick glared at him. He sighed annoyed and leaned against the bars. At least the two of them were put in their own cell and didn’t have to share with big scary prisoners. Not that either of them was scared of these prisoners of course. Both knew they could handle them. They just weren’t sure about the other.

“This is all your fault, you know,” Dick muttered darkly.

“Well, sorry for wanting to make this a memorable day!” Harry hissed, suddenly going from happy to angry.

Dick tensed up in surprised and stood back up. Before he knew what was going on, Harry went back to his cheerful self and grinned at Dick.

“At least I’ll be remembered in this town while I’m gone,” he said, smiling sadly.

Dick’s eyes widened in shock at that.

“You-you’re leaving?” he asked.  
“Why? Where are you going?”

“I got accepted in a boarding school in Scotland,” Harry answered softly.  
“My birthparents signed me up for it when I was born – it’s where they went too – and my adoptive parents agreed to send me there.”

Dick nodded, looking at his friend sadly.

“When are you leaving?” he asked.

“The day before my birthday,” Harry replied.  
“We’ll be spending the last month in a hotel in London, to do my school shopping and all that.”

With that, Dick suddenly lunged forward and hugged Harry tightly. The other boy quickly wrapped his arms around his friend as well, hugging Dick back as he buried his face in Harry’s neck.

“When will you be back?” Dick asked, voice muffled by Harry’s shirt.

“Christmas Holidays. And then again a week with Easter,” Harry said.  
“And I promise I’ll write you as much as I can! I’m really gonna miss you, Dick.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! And since Harry will soon be leaving to Hogwarts, there is a question I would like to have answered. Quidditch.
> 
> I am planning on having him join the team, but I need to know the position. Your choice. Please let me know what you guys prefer, all votes count.
> 
> All positions are open for the decision, no reason to consider who is playing in that position already. I can easily fix that later. Thanks for Voting!


	16. Diagon Alley

They arrived at the Leaky Cauldron by international Floo. It was the first time Harry travelled by Floo, and he stumbled out clumsily, almost falling flat on his face. He looked around himself, noticing how dark and old fashioned the pub was. He grinned at some toothless man staring his way creepily.

“Hi!” he chirped right before the fire flared again and Joker stepped out gracefully.

Harry had never before seen his dad looking like he had before he became the Joker. Brown hair, pale skin and wearing a dark trench coat and a fedora. He was Jack Napier once again. Well, aside from the Joker Card in his pocket and the large, disturbing smile.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been here!” Joker laughed, breathing in the air of the pub.

“I like it here,” Harry agreed with a grin.  
“Too bad mom didn’t come with us.”

Harley had decided to stay back and help her sister and Jane move away. The two had been planning on moving to Metropolis ever since aunt Kate had gotten a job offer as help columnist at the Daily Planet. Jane just decided to go with her, as she believed the younger Quinzel needed her more than Harley.

“C’mon, kiddo!” Joker called as he walked up to the bar.  
“A room for two for a whole month, my good man!”

The old bartender squinted his eyes at Joker for a moment, before nodding and smiling a toothless smile. He snapped his fingers and a key floated over to Joker immediately, who caught it with ease and a small nod as he dropped the requested amount of 25 Galleons on the counter.

“You can leave yer bags here and I’ll take them to yer room,” the bartender said.

“Alright! Let’s go kid, we need to stop at Gringotts first thing and then we’ll get shopping.”

Harry grinned and rushed after his dad out the back of the pub. Joker strode over to the wall of the small court and tapped a few stones, making the wall slide to the side and form a gate into a large cobblestone street, bustling with people in long robes and large pointy hats.

“Welcome to Diagon Alley, Harry,” Joker announced, throwing his arms wide with a large grin.

“Awesome!” Harry cheered as he looked around.

There were so many people, all walking around, talking and looking at shops. Almost all of them wore wizarding robes, but every now and then, Harry could see someone in regular ‘muggle’ clothes like he and Joker.

They first went to the Wizarding Bank, where Joker asked access to both his own and Harry’s vault. Of course, the Goblin requested a key for both, and since Joker only had his own, he requested a blood test to prove who Harry was.

“Right this way, sir,” the goblin muttered.

They followed the short being through the back and into a small office, where another goblin waited for Harry to hold out his hand so he could take a blood sample. Harry didn’t even flinch at the small prick of the needle and obediently held his bleeding finger over a white sheet of parchment.

“Now we’ll know shortly if you are who you say you are, Mr. Potter,” the first goblin spoke as he picked up the paper.

He looked at it with a scowl as words appeared in the bright red of Harry’s blood. He nodded satisfied.

“It seems like you are,” he said, handing the paper over to Joker.

*****

**Birth name: Harry James Potter**

**Birth parents: James Potter & Lily Potter née Evans**

**Adopted name(s): Harrison Riddle/Hadrian Quinzel**

**Adopted parents: Jack Morfin Riddle/Joker & Harleen Frances Quinzel**

**Godparents: Sirius Orion Black & Pamela Lillian Isley/Poison Ivy**

*****

Joker chuckled and put them down again, giving Harry a wide, teasing grin.

“Kid, it looks like you’re not mine after all,” he said.  
“I’m kind of disappointed at that. And curious too. Family traits don’t just jump to other families.”

Harry scowled down at the papers and then gave Joker a confused look.

“What do you mean I’m not yours?” he asked.  
“It says it right here. Jack Morfin Riddle, AKA Joker.”

Joker threw his head back and laughed loudly before looking back down at Harry with a grin and ruffled his hair.

“I guess you’re right,” he admitted.  
“I just looked at the wrong parents.”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry’s mind was reeling. He was rich. Really fucking rich! They had first gone to his Trust Vault, then to Joker’s vault, or Jack Riddle’s vault he supposed. Both had more or less the same amount of money stashed inside, but Joker’s also had some books, juggling pins, a lot of colorful balls and a creepy porcelain clown doll. Oh. And about seven books of cards. He had gone to the oldest deck and pulled the Joker card out, holding it towards Harry with a wide grin on his face. Harry’s breath caught in his throat as the pure _darkness_ oozing off the card reached him and intoxicated him.

“This one holds my soul. Literally!” Joker had explained laughing.  
“Tommy made his first from his diary. But my _only_ Horecrux is this card. The Joker card of my very first deck. Stole it from the pastor who used to visit Wool’s when I was 8.”

Harry had heard of Horecruxes before. Joker had told him about them, but never really more than that. He had expected Joker to have a Horecrux of course, been pretty damn sure that Voldemort had at least one too. Everything he’d heard about his ‘uncle’ said that he wanted to live forever.

They continued on towards the Potter family vault after that for inventory and to make sure nothing was taken by whoever had Harry’s key. Those keys would be blocked too. Inside, there was at least five times as much gold as there had been in the trust fund.

“I can retire already!” Harry exclaimed shocked.

“What fun would that be?” Joker asked incredulous.

“I said I _could_ not that I would.”

.              .              .               .              .

As they walked back out the bank, Harry stopped in his tracks as he saw a giant man stand at the front desk talking with a goblin. The man was huge, making Joker frown as he steered Harry out of the building quickly.

“I better not be seen by that big idiot,” he muttered.

“You know him?” Harry asked curiously.

“A giant with a bestiality kink is hard to forget, kiddo,” Joker chuckled.  
“His name is Rubeus Hagrid and Tommy and I went to school with him. We even blamed him for the Chamber of Secrets thingy and got him expelled. Last I heard he worked as a Grounds Keeper at the school.”

“So I’ll see him around at school?” Harry asked hopeful.  
“He looks really interesting, like he could kill someone with a single hit.”

“He’s as soft as a kitten. Goddamn Hufflepuff wearing a Gryffindor tie,” Joker told him.  
“Loyal as a dog to Dumbledore but stupid as a troll. You keep him close and he’ll tell you all sorts of things they don’t want you to know. Just don’t mention me, Tom or Myrtle to him. Damn idiot was in love with that girl or something, but she only saw my brother.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Harry replied.

Joker chuckled and grinned at Harry.

“Let’s go get you a wand first thing while I buy your books, alright? Ollivander is said to never forget a wand he sold, so I better not go back in. My first wand was from there too after all, and since everyone expects the little Boy-Who-Lived to have a proper Ministry approved wand…”

“I get it, I’ll see you after,” Harry replied grinning.

“Good! We’ll meet up again at the ice-cream shop.”

Harry gave a bright smile and nodded before he dashed off into the crowd to find the Wand shop. When he did, he almost laughed hysterically at how rundown and old the place looked, as if no one even came there. Still somewhat chuckling, he pushed the door open and walked inside.

.              .              .               .              .

Joker was already eating from a large bowl of ice-cream with 17 different flavors on it. Harry immediately ordered one for himself too as he sat down next to his dad.

“What’s your wand like?” Joker asked casually.

“11 ½ inch Holly wood with a Phoenix core,” Harry replied.  
“Supposed to be the ‘brother wand’ of uncle Tom. I’m surprised you don’t have it, since you’re his actual brother.”

“Doesn’t work like that, kid,” Joker chuckled.  
“My original wand was Spruce with a Dragon Heartstring core. But they snapped it when I was 17.”

“I’ve seen your wand,” Harry said confused.

“Dogwood with a Basilisk Scale core,” Joker said, nodding.  
“I had that one made in specifically in Knockturn Alley. We’ll get you one there after we’re done with your other supplies.”

“A second wand? Why?” Harry asked confused.

“Because Ollivander sells wands with a ministry tracker in. They’ll know when and what kind of magic you preformed with it,” Joker explained.  
“We need to get you an illegal wand if you want to do illegal things with it.”

Harry grinned in a deranged manner at that and nodded his head eagerly. He really, really wanted to do illegal things! He wouldn’t want anything more than doing magic outside of school and get away with it. He wanted to test out Crucio and Imperio. (Not Avada Kedavra. It was fun to kill sometimes, but he preferred hurting and torture – both mental and physical)

After the ice-creams were finished, Joker walked with Harry towards ‘Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions’, paying the lady upfront before leaving again, saying he would go a few shops down to get Harry’s Potion supplies and everything else he would need.

After waving at his dad, he was ushered into the back and made to stand on a stool next to a blond boy his age. The other observed him with sharp silver eyes and lifted his chin up haughtily.

“Going to Hogwarts as well?” he asked.

“No. I just like the robes the school has,” Harry replied deadpan.  
“Didn’t you know? Hogwarts robes are all the rage in the States!”

The boy glared at him and turned away with an annoyed huff.

“With that kind of attitude I won’t be surprised you’d end up in Gryffindor,” the boy said.  
“I’ll be a Slytherin no doubt. My whole family has – I’m Draco Malfoy, but I’m sure you’ve heard of my family before – My father would accept Ravenclaw too I guess though.”

“Never heard of a Malfoy, but I’m sure that’s just because I live in America, not because you aren’t famous or popular,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“With your sparkling personality, I’m sure you’re the bees knees!”

The blond boy huffed annoyed and glared at Harry, who just grinned at him and held out his arms for the measuring tape flying all around him. They didn’t talk much afterwards, just stood side by side while madam Malkin fitted their new robes.

Eventually, Joker returned with a cauldron full of books floating behind him, talking to a man with long, silvery white hair. The strange man had the same sharp face and silver eyes as the boy next to him, so he guessed this was his father.

“Ready to leave yet, Harry?” Joker asked grinning.

“Sure!” the raven replied happily, jumping off the stool.

Joker threw his arm over Harry’s shoulder as he took the bags of clothes off the counter and threw them into the cauldron as well as he led Harry out of the shop.

“Since we’ve got everything we need now, we’ll go to that little tea shop over there first for lunch and then we’ll buy you a special wand,” Joker said as they walked through the busy street.

Harry cheered happily, making some people turn to look at them while Joker just chuckled and ruffled the boy’s hair fondly. The action only made Harry grin wider as he leaned into the touch. They walked in a comfortable silence towards the tea shop, where they ordered two portions of pancakes with strawberries, blueberries and ice-cream.

They talked and laughed while they ate, uncaring about how loud they were or how vulgar their jokes. Many of the other guests were glaring angrily at them, but they only quieted when the patron came over to ask them to leave. Joker made a whole scene about it, scoffing and sneering, claiming in his most snobbish tone that he would sue the shop for sending them out without reason. When he was told he was behaving inappropriate, Joker had looked incredulous and said in a very loud voice:

“You’re acting as if I had my kid sucking me off in public!”

Harry gave a coy smile at the horror in the patron’s eyes and the scandalized gasps of the other clientele. After that, they walked out, both sticking their noses high up in the air as if they had been sorely offended, but as soon as they were farther away, they burst out laughing.

“Those faces!” Harry cried out.  
“I’m pretty sure some of them really think you do that!”

“Sick bastards,” Joker snickered.  
“Now let’s go to Knockturn.”

Harry gladly followed, pulling the hood of his jacket over his head at Joker’s order as they walked into the shady side alley. It seemed to be a good call, because even without showing his face, many of the untrustworthy looking people were staring at him with unnerving gazes. If Harry hadn’t been used to these kind of people, he was sure he’d been scared. Now though, he felt more at home in Knockturn Alley than in Diagon Alley.

Joker payed them no mind at all, so Harry chose to ignore them too as they walked towards an inconspicuous little shop. There was an old lady and a girl about the age of 17 or 18 years at the counter. The girl had long, shiny brown hair and blue eyes. Harry had to admit she was really pretty.

“Welcome to Silvertail Wands!” the girl greeted cheerfully.  
“We haven’t had customers in a while. Can we help you?”

“I’d like a wand please,” Harry told her grinning, pulling down his hood.

Joker too, took off his hat and spread his arms wide, grinning widely at the old lady standing behind the counter. The lady stared at him with eyes wide in disbelieve.

“Lucy, Darling!” Joker cried out dramatically.  
“You’ve grown old since I last saw you!”

“We haven’t seen each other in at least 45 years. Normal people age more than one decade in that time, Riddle,” the woman huffed amused.

“As long as my hair doesn’t grey, I’m fine,” Joker laughed.

“Do you know them, Grandmother?” the girl asked the old lady.

“I know Jack Riddle, yes,” the lady chuckled.  
“I was Prefect when he was a first year and getting in trouble with his brother.”

“Lucilla Silvertail was the most beautiful girl of the school, only equaled by Bella Greengrass, several years later,” Joker told Harry.  
“And this is my son, Harrison Riddle. Though since there are still people to remember that name, he’ll enter the school with his mother’s name.”

“Very smart move,” Madam Silvertail replied nodding.  
“This is my granddaughter by the way, Cecilia Carp. She’s Head Girl this year. A Ravenclaw student like her father.”

The lady seemed very proud as she spoke, and Cecilia blushed at the praises.

“She’ll take your son’s measurements while we figure out the best wood and core for him.”

“I already took care of the core,” Joker replied, pulling out a Basilisk fang, making the old woman grin.

“Then we’ll only need to figure out what wood fits him best,” she said, snatching the fang from Joker’s hand.

As the adults kept talking, Harry allowed Cecilia to take his measurements. She was less thorough than Ollivander had been (didn’t measure the distance between nostrils, luckily), but asked a few questions while working.

“Are you American?” she asked.  
“You have the accent.”

“Yeah! But we heard Hogwarts is the best school around, so I enrolled.”

Like Hell. Harry had kept an eye on international ratings. Ever since the lack of a proper Defense Teacher and a ghost History Teacher that kept ranting about the Goblin Wars during every lesson, Hogwarts had gone down drastically. The top school in the world now was Mahoutokoro, the Japanese school, followed by the Uagadou in Africa, Durmstrang in Bulgaria and Castelobruxo in Brazil. The last school making up the top five was Koldovstoretz in Russia. After that, there were still Beauxbatons in France and the American all-witch school Salem before Hogwarts came in a shared 8th place with Ilvermorny near the Canadian border.

“Nice to hear! It’s been since the Grindelwaldian war that we’ve had any foreign students!”

“All done for today!” the old lady suddenly called out.  
“Come back by the end of the week for your wand love. All you’ll have to now is give me some blood to bind your wand to you later.”

Harry nodded in agreement and held out his hand for Cecilia to prick it and let the blood drop in a small vile. Once she deemed she had enough, she took a step back and smiled at Harry.

“I’ll see you in a week then, Harry,” she said.

“Sure thing, babe!”

This made the older girl chuckle and ruffle his hair before Joker’s heavy hand dropped on Harry’s shoulder and he was dragged outside. Harry looked back one last time and waved at the beautiful girl, who smiled amused and waved back.

“I think I’m in love,” Harry sighed dramatically, making Joker bark out in laughter.

.              .              .               .              .

“Which House should I aim for?” Harry asked as he skimmed through ‘Hogwarts: A History’ with a bored expression.

They were back at the Leaky Cauldron, sitting at a small table in the far back, the only lighting a single candle behind Harry. Still, even in the bad lighting, they were both busy reading. Harry was looking through some of his study books when he had come across some explanation on the four different Houses and their Founders. His curiosity about the subject was what gave him the courage to bother his dad while he was thinking up new ways to terrorize Gotham.

“Doesn’t really matter,” Joker shrugged, not looking up from his work.  
“All houses have their good and bad sides, so just aim for what fits you best.”

The boy looked up from his school books, cocking his head curiously as he watched his adoptive father scheming. He felt a pang of regret, as he wouldn’t be able to help out with any heists or missions when he was abroad. He was sure Robin was really going to miss him when he was gone, just like he was going to miss the bird.

“What House were you in, dad?” he asked curiously.

Joker looked up from his papers and grinned, a small chuckle growing to a manic laugh.

“A proud Slytherin in heart and soul! HAHA!” he exclaimed happily.  
“Me and Tom were the Slytherin Heirs, though he was a lot more popular, hiding his madness better than me…”

“What are the differences?” Harry wondered.

“Well, Slytherin if for the cunning and ambitious… you know, cut throat people! **_Sometimes literally_** ,” Joker started off, grinning darkly at the last part.  
“Some people claim it’s a House full of Dark Wizards, that there’re only evil people in there.”

“So, if I want to win trust, no Slytherin,” Harry mused.

“Gryffindor is for the loyal and the brave. People with hero complexes and such,” Joker continued.  
“When I was in school, most of _those_ were just self-righteous brats.”

“A whole house following the bat-brain mentality?” Harry asked, scrunching up his nose in distaste.

“Ravenclaw is for smart people and bookworms. Lot of daydreamers, not many who actually _do_ things.”

“Do comics count?” Harry asked, deflating in disappointment as Joker shook his head in denial.

“And lastly, Hufflepuff! The House of the helpful, kind and hardworking folks… a bunch of doormats in other words,” the Clown Prince of Crime finished with a grin.

“… I see what you meant with all of them having good and bad sides,” Harry muttered.  
“I guess I’ll just see where I’m sorted and roll with it.”

“That’s the best way to go about it,” Joker nodded, grin widening.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currents statistics on the Quidditch Votes:  
> Beater: 20  
> Seeker: 8  
> Chaser: 2  
> Keeper: /  
> Voting will continue on longer (It’s only been literally a day) so please let me know your preferences!


	17. The Hogwarts Express

“Hurry the fuck up, kid!” Joker called over his shoulder as he strode through King’s Cross Station.

“Easier said than done, dad!” Harry called back annoyed.

He was pulling the large cart with his trunk and other things on it. His Holly wand was inside his jacket pocket, and his second wand, Cypress, 10 ½ inches with a Basilisk fang core, bonded with Harry’s blood, was strapped to his leg underneath his pants for safekeeping. Malinda was hidden in a secret compartment in his trunk, which she wasn’t exactly happy about, but Snakes weren’t allowed as pets, so Harry didn’t see another option – no way he was leaving his best friend behind!

“How about you be a good dad and help me out!” he huffed, earning a glare from Joker.

“Didn’t you realize yet? I’m not a good dad! Get the fuck over it and get fucking moving!”

Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance and stepped up the pace. His dad could be such a big douchebag sometimes…

They arrived at the entrance to Platform 9 ¾ together with a pretty large group of redheads. The mother, a short, plump woman with bright red hair and kind brown eyes smiled at them before sending her oldest son, a tall, lanky teen with freckles and neatly combed ginger hair, through the hidden entrance. Harry stared curiously as the snobbish looking teen disappeared through the seemingly solid wall. He was a little disappointed that he didn’t crash into it face first.

“Hello deary!” the lady greeted kindly.  
“Are you a first year too? My Ron’s starting this year.”

The youngest of the red haired boys grinned nervously, while his older twin brother just stared at Harry curiously and the young girl hung onto her mother’s robes, smiling shyly. Harry stared at the other first year with a blank expression before looking back at the mother.

“What are you talking about? I’m in 7th year,” he said before looking towards the twin boys.  
“Don’t you guys recognize me? I helped one of you two with Potions last year. Just can’t remember which…”

The mother looked entirely confused while the twin boys were trying to keep their laughter down. Their eyes were twinkling with mirth, making Harry only more confident about his observation of them. They were jokers. Perfect.

“That would be George,” the one on the left spoke, jerking his thumb to the other.

“And you helped Fred with Charms too, didn’t you?” the one on the right added.

“Right, I remember that!” Harry replied grinning.

Joker laughed as he saw the flustered look on the lady’s face as she mumbled in apology at Harry.

“Look at that! My kid’s already making friends on his first day!” he announced proudly, ruffling Harry’s hair.

“Dad! You ruined it!” Harry whined playfully.

“You two-!” the woman growled good-naturedly, swatting at one of the twins, who laughed and dodged.

Before their mother could try again, they rushed towards the entrance, laughing the entire time. The second one turned towards Harry at the last moment and gave him a wink, making the boy chuckle. Joker laughed as he put a hand on Harry’s shoulder and pushing him gently towards the portal.

“I guess we should get going too. Nice talking to you!” Joker called out to the lady and her two youngest children.

Harry chuckled and walked through the wall, his dad following shortly behind him. Once he walked out onto the Platform, he stopped and stared in awe at the bright red steam train stationed there.

“I get to ride that?” he asked excitedly.

“Sure do!” Joker laughed, clapping Harry on the back.

Harry grinned in excitement. He was finally going to Hogwarts! He was going to a wizarding school, learning magic and fucking people over! This was amazing! He wanted to get in quickly and find himself a good seat, but Joker grabbed his arm to stop him.

“I have a little gift before you leave,” Joker told him.

He stood in front of Harry, who looked up at his dad curiously as the man pulled out something from his pocket. Harry scowled in confusion when he saw what it was.

“Here,” Joker said, handing Harry a poisonous green notebook with purple and orange polka dots on.

The young wizard raised a brow as he accepted the gift, looking it over curiously before he turned back to his dad, waiting for an explanation. Usually, he only received gifts from his dad with his birthday or with a special reason behind it. Since it wasn’t the first, Harry guessed it had to be the second.

“It’s connected to my book,” the Joker explained grinning, showing a purple book with green haired clowns on the cover.  
“You write in that, and the text appears in this, and the other way around. When there’s a new message it’ll start glowing to let you know, and it’s also a Port Key. I activate it and it’ll bring you straight to me.”

“Wherever I am?” Harry asked curiously.

“That’s the fun thing about Port Keys. They work wherever they are,” Joker chuckled.  
“And a second activation will sent you back to wherever you were before the first.”

“So… When you need me on a raid, you can just zap me over and sent me back after without anyone noticing I was ever gone,” Harry realized.

“That’s the idea kiddo!” his dad laughed.

Harry grinned widely in excitement and held the book against his chest. This was perfect! He didn’t need to be away from his family the whole time, and he could continue being Child’s Play. Still, there was maybe one thing that could be disastrous in this case.

“What if I get caught and end up in Arkham?” he asked.  
“People will definitely notice if I’m gone for several weeks in the middle of a schoolyear.”

“Easy! **_Don’t get caught._** ”

Harry laughed at the comment and hugged his dad for the gift. Joker, being in one of his rare bouts of affection, hugged him back. Harry liked to think it was because Joker would really miss him, not because they had to keep up pretenses with the surrounding masses of witches, wizards and wizarding children.

“Get on that train before he leaves, kid. I’m not taking you back home if you miss him,” Joker told him as they separated.

Harry just grinned and waved as Joker floated the trunk inside and he quickly followed it on the train. He carried his stuff into the first empty carriage he found. He slid the door open and plopped down with a pleased sigh, closing his eyes for a bit more sleep.

The train started moving shortly after, leaving the station behind slowly. Harry didn’t bother looking out the window to wave at his dad. He didn’t doubt Joker had left through the international Flooing system the second Harry had stepped foot in the Hogwarts Express. After a few more minutes, he was woken up when someone knocked on the door of his cabin. As Harry looked up, he saw a mop of red hair as the young boy he’d seen earlier popped his head in.

“Excuse me. Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full…”

Harry had half a mind to tell him off, but he had to keep up appearances of being a helpful and active member of society. With that in mind, he smiled and motioned towards the seat across from him.

“Go right ahead!” he said cheerfully.

The boy smiled in gratitude and walked in, closing the door behind him as he slid in the seat Harry had appointed to him.

“I’m Ron. Ron Weasley,” the red haired boy introduced himself grinning.

“Harry. Quinzel,” Harry greeted, grinning back widely as he ruffled through his own hair.

The other boy’s eyes immediately widened, his eyes transfixed on Harry’s forehead. This made the young criminal scowl in confusion, until he remembered what his dad had told him several years ago. Around here, Harry was famous for something he had no power over.

“Blimey! You-you’re him, aren’t you?” the redhead muttered.

“Depending on who ‘he’ is,” Harry deadpanned, playing oblivious.

Ron glanced around, as if expecting to see someone besides the two of them and leaned closer in a conspiring sort of way. Harry felt the urge to roll his eyes, but he contained it and leaned in.

“Harry Potter,” the redhead whispered dramatically, eyes widening as he said it.

“Never heard of him,” Harry mock whispered back, staring at the other straight faced.

This clearly took the other off guard as he stared at Harry in confusion. He looked back at the scar, and Harry quickly smoothed his hair over it with a scowl.

“B-but your scar…” he whined dejectedly.

Harry started grinning darkly, and the sight of his sinister smile made Ron shiver in fear. What little color the boy had in his face, aside from all the freckles, drained quickly and he leaned away as Harry leaned in. This, of course, made the young criminal chuckle darkly in amusement and he leaned even closer, hanging completely over the little table between them.

“Wanna know how I got it?” Harry asked.  
“When I was 8, my parents and I went Christmas shopping when I lost sight of them somewhere in the more unfriendly parts of the city. Some bad men found me and kidnapped me for ransom. The problem was that my parents aren’t exactly rich, so when no money came immediately, they threatened to cut me up. To show they were serious, they did this.”

Harry showed off his scar again, grinning widely as Ron swallowed nervously, eyes wide in horror as he ate up the story. Kids were so easy to trick.

“Uhm, how’d you get away?” Ron asked quietly.

“I got really scared and my magic exploded,” Harry told him, looking down sadly as he kicked his legs out in a fake nervous tick.  
“When I woke up again, the house was on fire and the two kidnappers were dead. I barely got out in time.”

“Merlin! That’s terrible!” Ron exclaimed wide eyed.

The red haired boy’s genuine concern made Harry laugh. Ron jumped a bit at the sound, staring bewildered at Harry as the raven haired boy cackled loudly, almost falling out of his seat.

“I can’t believe you fell for that!” he wheezed when his laughter had died down to mad giggling.  
“I was just kidding! I really am Harry Potter. But man! You should have seen your face!”

“You’re crazy!” Ron exclaimed, eyes still wide in shock and horror.

“That’s what the doctors keep telling me!” Harry laughed.

After that, Ron refused to talk to him anymore. He pulled out his pet rat from his pocket and started betting it, a big frown marring his freckled face. Harry just smirked, feeling pleased with himself for making the other boy believe such a ridiculous story.

Another knock had him look up again to see an old lady pop her head in. she smiled at the two boys and opened the door further, showing her trolley filled with sweets and pastries.

“Anything off the cart, dears?” she asked them.

Ron’s ears went pink and he said he’d brought sandwiches. Harry just grinned and walked out into the corridor to inspect the sweets. He was a bit addicted to candy, so he was planning to buy a lot. Besides, he really liked being on sugar high. It was totally worth the drawback afterwards.

Harry had never tasted wizard candy before coming to England, but he’d spend half his time in Diagon Alley traveling  between the candy shop and the joke shop, greatly enjoying the merchandise of both. His mouth watered at the sight of Bettie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Chocolate Frogs, Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes, Licorice Wands, and a number of other tasty things, he bought some of everything.

Ron stared as Harry brought it all back in to the compartment and dumped it onto an empty seat.

"Hungry, are you?" he asked.

“I guess so,” Harry shrugged.  
“And I thought it might be a good peace offering for my joke earlier.”

Ron grinned happily and quickly leaned in to take some Pumpkin Pies, thanking Harry.

“You shouldn’t feel bad, really,” he said.  
“Fred and George always joke around, so I’m pretty used to it. I’ve got five older brothers and a little sister. Gin gets all the attention because she’s the only girl and mum always wanted a girl, while dad is mostly just about Bill and Charlie because they’ve both got awesome jobs and all. Percy is mum’s big favorite, always the perfect son and all, and Fred and George are always up to something, so everyone keeps a close eye on them.”

Harry hummed at that, smirking to himself. This confirmed his assumption. Those Twins were indeed the right kind of people for him. He was already making plans in his mind to ensure their loyalty to him. He also needed to find more minions than just the two of them… Would Ron be a potential candidate? He doubted it. The boy was too normal, though his obvious inferiority complex would make him extremely palpable for his intentions. Just promise the poor fool a place in the spotlight and he’d do anything...

There was a knock on the door of their compartment and the round-faced boy came in. He looked about ready to burst into tears at any moment, making Harry’s eye twitch. He hated crying people.

"Sorry," he said.  
“But have you seen a toad at all?"

When they shook their heads, he wailed.

"I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!"

After that, he turned back around and left again, the compartment door falling closed behind him.

"Don't know why he's so bothered," Ron said.  
"If I'd brought a toad I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can't talk."

After seeing the scruffy rat sleeping on Ron’s legs, Harry had half a mind to agree, but instead he just shrugged. They fell back into an awkward silence after that. after a short while, until Ron decided to open his mouth again.

"He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," he said in disgust, looking at the sleeping rat on his lap.  
"I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look..."

He rummaged around in his trunk and pulled out a very battered-looking wand. It was chipped in places and something white was glinting at the end.

"Unicorn hair's nearly poking out. Anyway-”

Just then, the door slid open again and a girl with messy brunette hair and her Hogwarts robes already on stepped in. She had a bit of a bossy look on her face that made Harry raise a brow.

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she asked.

“Nope, but we have Chocolate Frogs, will that do?” Harry asked smiling.

The girl looked at him for a moment, scowling before her eyes widened in recognition. Harry almost rolled his eyes, but stopped himself in time. He really didn’t like being recognized for something he didn’t even do. Stupid wizards and their hero worship.

“You’re Harry Potter,” the girl said suddenly.

Harry groaned annoyed and laid down on the bench with a dramatic flop.

“So everyone keeps telling me!” he whined.  
“I don’t wanna be Harry Potter! I wanna be Harry Quinzel!”

The bushy haired girl ignored his complaint and sat down next to his head, looking down at him with a mixed expression somewhere between curious and haughty.

“I read all about you in ‘The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts’,” she said.  
“But there it said you disappeared without a trace when you were 5.”

“Apparently, though I never really lost myself,” Harry told her grinning.  
“Besides, it’s not fair that you know my name and I don’t know yours.”

“It’s Hermione Granger,” the girl replied, before turning to Ron and scowling.  
“And you are?”

“Ron Weasley,” the redhead introduced himself frowning.

“Pleasure,” Granger drawled sarcastically as she turned back to Harry.  
“You’re accent is American, isn’t it? Is that where you’ve been all this time?”

Harry grinned and nodded.

“How did you get there?” the girl asked curious.

At the question, Harry immediately stopped smiling and he looked away, tears beading at the corners of his eyes. He heard the girl gasp at his sudden change of mood and grinned inwardly. If everyone in Hogwarts were this easy to trick, he’d have a lot of fun.

“One day, when I was 5, I was playing in the park near my home,” he whispered softly.  
“I-I forgot about my curfew, and when it started to get dark and all the other kids went home, I got really scared they’d be angry at me for missing dinner.”

Harry sobbed to make the act seem more genuine and covered his eyes with his arm, as if to hide his fake tears from the other two kids.

“When… when I got home, the front door was open, and I could hear the TV playing, so I went inside,” Harry continued, making sure his voice was unsteady and hoarse.  
“The… all the blood and-and I-I can’t even think of it! It was so horrible! I ran. I don’t know where I ended up, but I was all on my own for so long! I slept on the streets and I begged for money and food, and when I didn’t get enough… I-I’m not proud of what I did, but I had no choice if I wanted to live, you know? And then _she_ found me. Harleen Quinzel. She took me with her to the States and officially adopted me as her son. I was so happy, especially when I found out her boyfriend, my dad now, was a wizard! He taught me lots of stuff!”

“I’m so, so, sorry,” the girl whispered.

Harry peeked from under his arm at the girl and grinned at the tearful face staring at him. he sat up suddenly, a wide, disturbing grin stretching his lips upwards.

“I turned out alright, didn’t I?” he asked mockingly.  
“So what if I steal sometimes, or set small animals on fire? It’s a healthy coping mechanism. **_That’s what my parents say_**.”

Hermione Granger paled drastically at that and quickly fled the compartment. Harry turned towards Ron Weasley, who was staring at him as if he wanted to bolt after the bushy haired girl, but he stayed put, holding his rat against his chest protectively. Harry smirked at the redhead and leaned back in his seat.

“You… did all that really happen?” the Weasley boy asked nervously.

“My dear Red,” Harry chuckled.  
“ ** _It’s not even close._** ”

.              .              .               .              .

After a while, the door once again opened, and Harry was really about to yell at whoever it was to leave them the fuck alone already because he was getting really sick of all these people disturbing his sleep. Three boys entered, and Harry recognized the middle one at once. It was the pale boy from Madam Malkin's robe shop. He was looking at Harry with a lot more interest than he'd shown back in Diagon Alley.

"Is it true?" he asked.  
"They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment. So it's you, is it?"

“It is true,” Harry spoke dramatically, flipping his hair back.  
“You may now go down on your knees and praise my wonderfulness!”

The blonde scowled, looking slightly taken aback by Harry’s reply while Ron was cackling amused in his seat opposite from Harry. Harry just chuckled and shook his head, smiling crookedly at the three intruders.

“And you’re Draco Malfoy. I remembered,” he exclaimed proudly.

Draco seemed to smile at that and nodded before jerking a thumb to the two beefy kids flanking him. They pretty much looked like mini goons, but again, way too plain for Harry’s tastes. Besides, they looked pretty stupid, and Harry wanted people who could hold intelligent conversation. Mindless followers were no fun at all after all. He could borrow his dad’s guys for that.

"Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle," said the pale boy carelessly.

Ron gave a slight cough, which might have been hiding a snicker. Draco Malfoy looked at him.

"Think our names are funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford," Draco sneered before turning back to Harry.  
"You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there."

He held out his hand to shake Harry's, but Harry didn't take it. He just looked at the hand dispassionately before looking back up at the boy. Draco Malfoy was scowling now, probably realizing Harry wasn’t going to take his hand. Ron was smirking smugly at the three kids in the doorway, making Harry want to roll his eyes. He didn’t particularly like Ron any more than he did Draco Malfoy.

“Can I get a raincheck?” he asked straight faced.

Both Malfoy and Ron were startled at the question and stared at him strangely.

“What?” Malfoy asked confused.

“I’m not an idiot,” Harry snorted and rolled his eyes.  
“I won’t just befriend the first kid I come across on a train you know.”

Ron made an indignant noise, but Harry ignored him and kept talking.

“Besides, from what I heard about the Houses at Hogwarts, they’re all pretty tight nit groups, so it would be better to first see where I end up and befriend whoever is in my House,” he said.  
“So if you and I end up together, I’ll gladly accept your hand, but if I end up with Ron, I’ll be his friend. If we all end up together – unlikely, I know – then we’ll all just have to get along.”

“Never!” Malfoy and Ron exclaimed at the exact same time.

Harry chuckled a bit, but kept a lid on his amusement lest he’d burst out in mad laughter.

“Anyway. Does that sound fair to you, Malfoy?” he asked.

“I guess, yeah,” the blonde muttered reluctantly.

“Awesome! See you at the Sorting then,” Harry grinned.

Malfoy gave a curt nod and turned away. He and his two cronies walked out of the carriage. Harry smirked accomplished and grabbed another chocolate frog. When he looked up back at Ron, he found the red haired boy was staring at him incredulously.

“What?” he asked with his mouth full.

“You aren’t actually going to accept Malfoy, are you?” Ron asked scandalized.  
“He’s horrible! His whole family is Dark! You do know his dad was a Death Eater, right?”

“I didn’t, but I don’t see why that matters,” Harry shrugged.  
“I bet Malfoy can give me some reasons not to be friends with you too. I like to keep my options open.”

“Malfoy will end in Slytherin anyway, so that promise of yours won’t mean much in the end,” Ron muttered.

“So you’re saying there’s no way I’ll end up in Slytherin?” Harry asked, raising a brow.  
“I’ll have you know that it’s more likely than Gryffindor for sure.”

Ron scowled in confusion, making Harry laugh out loud again as he grabbed for some Every Flavor Beans.

“No it isn’t! You’re Harry Potter for Merlin’s sake!” the redhead exclaimed.  
“All Potters have always been in Gryffindor, just like the Weasleys.”

“Well, I wasn’t raised by any Potter, now was I?” Harry replied.

He chuckled darkly, making Ron gulp nervously. Harry only grinned even wider at the fearful look in the other boy’s eyes. He really didn’t care where he’d end up, but if it was Slytherin, all the better. After all, he was the son of the Joker and a Parselmouth.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current count for the poll:  
> Beater: 31  
> Seeker: 12  
> Chaser: 2  
> Keeper: 1
> 
> The plan was to keep this going for another week, but since it’s pretty obvious which is gonna win, I think I’ll just close it already. Everyone, thanks for voting and see you again on Monday!


	18. The Sorting

"C'mon, follow me – any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!"

Harry and Ron rushed over to the giant man Harry recognized from his visit to Gringotts and he grinned in excitement. Now _Hagrid_ was a guy he definitely wanted to get to know better. He seemed really useful with the information he could provide. After all, if he wanted to trick a guy like Dumbledore, he needed an inside man to help him, preferably while the inside man didn’t know he was helping him.

The narrow path had opened suddenly onto the edge of a great black take. Perched atop a high mountain on the other side, its windows sparkling in the starry sky, was a vast castle with many turrets and towers.

"No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid called, pointing to a fleet of little boats sitting in the water by the shore.

Harry and Ron were followed into their boat by Neville and Hermione.

"Everyone in?" Hagrid shouted, who had a boat to himself.  
"Right then – FORWARD!"

And the fleet of little boats moved off all at once, gliding across the lake, which was as smooth as glass. Everyone was silent, staring up at the great castle overhead. It towered over them as they sailed nearer and nearer to the cliff on which it stood. Harry, on the other hand, looked down.

“You guys think there’s some water demon in there?” he asked.  
“My dad said there’s a giant octopus living in the lake, but maybe he was joking. I hope not. A giant octopus would be pretty cool!”

He heard Neville whimper in fear and could barely stop himself from smirking, keeping his head bent down and focused on the rippling water to make sure the other’s didn’t see his amusement.

"Heads down!" yelled Hagrid as the first boats reached the cliff.

They all bent their heads and the little boats carried them through a curtain of ivy that hid a wide opening in the cliff face. They were carried along a dark tunnel, which seemed to be taking them right underneath the castle, until they reached a kind of underground harbor, where they clambered out onto rocks and pebbles.

"Oy, you there! Is this your toad?" Hagrid, who was checking the boats as people climbed out, asked.

"Trevor!" Neville cried blissfully, holding out his hands.

Then they clambered up a passageway in the rock after Hagrid's lamp, coming out at last onto smooth, damp grass right in the shadow of the castle. The place was pretty awesome, and Harry was really looking forward to the Sorting. He was so happy, he was humming and skipping along, earning weird looks from everyone.

“Aren’t you nervous?” Ron asked incredulously.

“Not really. I like surprises,” Harry replied cheerfully.

“And you’re not worried you’d end up in Slytherin or something?” the redhead asked.

“Why should I?” Harry asked, feigning confusion – he knew the reason why Ron asked of course.  
“My adoptive dad came from Slytherin, you know. And he turned out just fine. And don’t give me crap about them all being evil pure-bloods or something. He’s a half-blood and my mom’s a muggle.”

Ron blushed in shame and looked away quickly, while Hermione looked over at him to give him an appreciating smile. It seemed at least she shared his opinion.

They arrived at a large oak door, which swung open shortly after, and a dark haired witch with green robes walked out. She looked really stern, the non-nonsense kind of person that Harry could appreciate. At the same time, he had the feeling he wouldn’t be able to manipulate her. Pity.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," Hagrid spoke.

"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."

The giant nodded and walked away while McGonagall gave the group a piercing stare. She gave a short speech on how the Sorting would go and the expected ‘Your House will be your family’ spiel. Harry just grinned. They really wouldn’t want him to treat his Housemates as his family. They’d all be traumatized before the end of the year.

At last, they were walked into the Great Hall, where the rest of the students were already seated at four different tables, all decorated in their respective House colors. Harry quickly glanced over them, seeing Ron’s three brothers sitting on the one on the far left, decorated with gold and red – Gryffindor – and Cecilia at the table second to the right, decorated in the blue and bronze of Ravenclaw.

His attention was easily diverted to the ceiling, which was charmed to show the starry night outside while hundreds of candles floated over their heads. Harry wondered how none of the wax dripped down, but then he supposed that if they could make the things float, they could stop them from dripping wax. Then, he imagined the chaos it would cause if they did drip wax all over the students and he smiled.

He vaguely heard Hermione tell them how she read something in some book about the enchanted ceiling, but he was too busy imagining that Neville kid, who was looking up in wonder as well, eyes incredibly wide, getting a large blob of wax in his eye. Oh, the way he’d scream and cry. Maybe he’d even go blind from that eye.

He was pulled out of his musings when a voice started singing. He looked down, being mildly surprised when he noticed it was an old hat. It was pretty cool that a hat could sing, and Harry wondered if they would learn the charm to make it happen. It would be really cool to make random objects at home start talking. His parents would go mad in no time! Err… Madder!

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again. Harry blinked out of his thoughts. It seemed he’d missed the whole song while imagining making the mirrors in his house call everyone walking past fat. His mom would start smashing them all in the first hour.

"So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry.  
"I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."

“Too bad,” Harry mumbled pouting, making Ron frown.

Before he could reply, the first name was called forward, being a blond girl named ‘Abbott, Hannah’, who ended up in Hufflepuff almost right away. He tuned out the next few, not exactly interested in where everyone would end. He’d find out their names when he was sorted with them, or when they became interesting. Like Draco Malfoy. He seemed pretty interesting.

"Granger, Hermione!"

Harry looked up. Not that he was interested in the girl. Hermione Granger looked a bit dull if they asked him, but something in him just urged him to watch as Hermione almost ran to the stool and jammed the hat eagerly on her head. It stayed up there for quite some time, making Harry scowl in confusion. After talking to the girl just a bit it had seemed pretty obvious the brunette would belong in Ravenclaw.

"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat.

Ron groaned, making Harry chuckle amused. If Ron ended up in Gryffindor too, like he seemed to hope, maybe the House of Bat-brains might not be so boring as Harry initially thought. The next few were boring again, but Harry couldn’t help but laugh when Neville Longbottom rushed off towards Gryffindor with the hat still perched on top of his head. Malfoy ended up in Slytherin not long after that, smirking as he walked over and sat down between Crabbe and Goyle.

There weren't many people left now. "Moon" "Nott" "Parkinson" then a pair of twin girls, "Patil" and "Patil" then "Perks, Sally-Anne" and then, at last –

"Potter, Harry!"

As Harry stepped forward, whispers suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall.

"Potter, did she say?"

“The Harry Potter?"

The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat. He waited.

 _“Oh!”_ a small voice in his ear cried out suddenly.  
_“I haven’t seen such a scary mind in over 50 years. I honestly had hoped that just twice would be more than enough. At least I know where to put you, don’t I? Yes, yes. Better be…”_

“Slytherin!”

Harry grinned widely as he took off the hat and stepped towards the cheering table. The other three Houses clapped too, although looking very disappointing, especially Gryffindor. They must have expected him to end up there because his blood parents had been Gryffindors too. Oh well, Harry guessed he now knew the answer of nature vs nurture.

As he looked back to the teacher’s table, he saw Dumbledore narrow his eyes at him, frowning deeply. McGonagall and the tiny professor both seemed disappointed as well, so was Hagrid, and the greasy dark haired teacher next to the turban wearing teacher glared at him for some weird reason. Harry shrugged it off and sat down across from Draco Malfoy, grinning at the blond ponce.

“So. You still willing to help me choose the right friends?” he asked.

Draco smirked and held out his hand, like he had done in the train. This time, Harry didn’t even hesitate when he shook it. This year would be an interesting one, he could already tell.

Eventually, the last one was sorted. ‘Zabini Blaise’, a tanned boy who was quickly sent off towards Slytherin and sat down at Harry’s side. Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away.

Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide, as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there.

"Welcome," he said.  
"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"

He sat back down. Everybody at the other three tables clapped and cheered. Harry threw his head back and laughed in delight before sitting up again and applauding loudly.

“Bravo! Well said! What a man!” he exclaimed, earning some strange looks from his peers.

“He’s completely bonkers!” Malfoy argued.

“Absolutely! But that’s the fun part,” Harry told him.  
“Being sane is much too boring. Try pulling that stick out your ass and smile some Draco!”

The food appeared before them all of a sudden, and Harry gave a shout in happiness before digging in right away. He was pretty hungry, even though he’d stuffed himself full of sugar during the train ride. The food here just looked way too delicious to pass up!

He piled his plate full and started eating while actively talking with the others of his year. Draco was bragging about some new broom his dad had bought him during summer, and he’d spent a lot of time flying. He expected to be on the team immediately next year, once they were allowed to try-out. Pansy Parkinson was talking to two other girls, who Harry thought were names Daphne Greengrass and Tracy Davis. They were talking about fashion, so he tuned them out.

Harry, who was starting to feel warm and sleepy, looked up at the High Table again. Hagrid was drinking deeply from his goblet. Professor McGonagall was talking to Professor Dumbledore. The Professor in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and pale, yellowish skin. It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past the turban straight into Harry's eyes -- and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead.

“Ouch!” Harry clapped a hand to his head.

“What is it?” Zabini asked curiously, turning away from Draco, who now looked at Harry as well.

“Nothing, just burned my tongue,” Harry replied quickly.  
“That’s what you get when you eat too fast I guess, but at home I barely got anything so…”

“They starved you?” Draco asked incredulously.  
“That man you were with at Diagon Alley seemed pretty well off.”

“We are!” Harry replied with a bright grin.  
“My dad’s pretty rich, and with my Potter inheritance, I’m rich as hell!”

“Then why would they starve you?” Zabini asked confused.

“Why would they starve me?” Harry asked, feigning confusion.

“You just said so!”

“Did I?” Harry asked grinning.  
“I probably meant they spoil me. I can get anything I want!”

“You’re weird,” Draco grumbled.

“No I’m not,” Harry argued immediately.  
“Normality is only in the observer. To your concept of what’s normal, I might fall out of it, but to me, you’re the weird ones!”

“… What?”

Harry cackled at the strange looks the others gave him and shook his head, stabbing his fork into his tart.

“Am I confusing you?” he asked innocently.  
“I’m sorry, that wasn’t the plan.”

“I somehow doubt that,” Draco grumbled annoyed, making harry grin.

Not long after, the food disappeared and Harry frowned upset, whining that he had planned to take a cheesecake with him as midnight snack. This of course earned him some strange looks from his classmates.

"Ahem – just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered-“ Harry snickered and repeated the word ‘watered’ softly “-I have a few start-of-term notices to give you,” Dumbledore announced, standing up.  
“First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."

Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins. This had Harry sit up straight in curiosity. He did love forbidden places.

"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors,” the old man continued.  
"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their House teams should contact Madam Hooch. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

“You see? The man’s mad as can be!” Draco groaned.

“Makes me curious,” Harry hummed, getting an incredulous look from Zabini.

“If you want to die, go ahead, but I’m staying far away!” the Italian boy told him.

Before Harry could reply, they were called over by a few older students.

“Slytherin first years, come with us!” a boy with dark hair and a crooked nose called out.

Next to him stood a stern looking girl with mousy blond hair and viciously glinting grey eyes. Both of them had a shiny silver badge pinned on their robes, which probably meant they were Prefects. Harry, along with his new classmates, followed the fifth year duo.

“Don’t wander off!” the girl called out to them.  
“If you get lost later because you weren’t paying attention now, it’s your own bloody fault.”

Harry chuckled at the girl’s harsh words. At least they wouldn’t be pampered by their seniors. If they didn’t hold their hand every turn they took, Harry would have much more chances to do his own thing. And his own thing existed out of illegal things, so he preferred the others to stay out of his way anyway.

They were led several stairs downwards and through a maze of dark corridors once they reached the dungeons until they ended up in front of a seemingly dead end. The two Prefects stood in front of the black stone wall and faced the new students.

“Alright! This here is the entrance to our common room,” the boy announced.  
“We like to keep it a secret from the other Houses because of the rivalry between us.”

“Also, they hate the Slytherin House,” the girl grumbled.

The boy smiled slightly at that and gave a nervous chuckle before turning back towards the first years.

“Anyway, my name is Daniel Hawkins, and this is Rosetta Florence,” the boy introduced the two of them.  
“If you have any questions or you need any help with whatever is bothering you, you come to either us or the other Prefects. Casey Darren made it to Head Boy too. First Slytherin to do so in a decade.”

“The password to get in is _‘Amaryllis’_ ,” the girl told them and the wall behind her rippled and slid away, forming an arc.  
“Don’t forget it, because if you do, you’ll have to sleep outside. The password changes every week on Sunday at midnight, so you better keep an eye on the announcement board.”

As she finished, she and Hawkins stepped aside and let them in the softly lit room behind. Gasps of awe rung through the group of first years as they entered the room. It was indeed pretty impressive. The entire ceiling was made of glass, making them see right into the bottom of the Lake above them.

“What would happen if the charm keeping the glass strong dissipates?” Harry wondered, making sure only Draco and Zabini could hear him.  
“Do you think the glass would break and flood the common room? Maybe the kelpies would get inside and eat us!”

“What is your problem, Potter?” Draco asked scowling.

“Being called Potter for one,” Harry replied with a frown.  
“I don’t like the name. I go by Hadrian Quinzel now. Harry Quinn for short.”

“We’ll call you Quinn, then,” Zabini said.  
“And you can just call me Blaise.”

“I made two friends in one day!” Harry cheered, throwing his hands in the air happily.

He had been loud enough to interrupt the speech of the two Prefects, making the girl, something Florence scowl annoyed. Harry gave her an innocent grin, causing Blaise to chuckle and Draco to shake his head with a deep sigh.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I said I was stopping the poll, some people still voted, so I wrote them down too.
> 
> Beater: 34  
> Seeker: 12  
> Chaser: 2  
> Keeper: 1
> 
> I'll keep writing the votes down until Friday morning.


	19. First Classes

The first week of school wasn’t all that exciting. He had Herbology with a plump woman named Professor Sprout, who was apparently the head of Hufflepuff. They had it with the Ravenclaws, and it was pretty obvious the group of Ravens, while very good on the theory, all but fucked up when they had to actually work with the plants. Harry, on the other hand showed great talent with his plants and was greatly praised by the Professor. In the end, he was rewarded with 15 points for their House, which made his housemates much more welcoming towards him.

Charms and Transfigurations were pretty fun too. Both of which they had with the Hufflepuffs. Professor Flitwick, a very small man and the head of Ravenclaw, squeaked and fell off his stack of books when he reached Harry’s name during the role-calling. Harry wasn’t entirely sure whether he should roll his eyes or laugh. Instead, he chose to just explain, for the third time that day, that he preferred Quinzel. He had to tell Professor McGonagall, their Transfigurations teacher and the head of Gryffindor and Professor Quirrel, their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher the same thing.

Defense, though he was definitely interested in the subject, was an absolute fluke. Professor Quirrel was a terrible teacher. He kept on stuttering and the things he said made absolutely no sense to Harry at all. Instead, he took to writing his dad during the class instead, and think of a few initiation pranks. The same case with History of magic, as Professor Binns had a special gift of putting the entire class to sleep within the span of one minute.

_[History is taught by a fucking ghost.]_

Harry wrote in his notebook. It didn’t take long before an answer arrived.

_[That old moron’s still teaching the class? I bet Dumblefuck is too scared to hurt a dead guy’s feelings to try and exorcise him.]_

Harry chuckled and closed the book after writing back an affirmative answer. Class was almost over anyway, so he could just as well take a short nap, since they’d have Astronomy that night, which was taught by Professor Sinistra. Honestly, it was the most useless class of all in Harry’s opinion, and it annoyed him greatly he had to drag himself up to the highest tower of the damn castle very Wednesday at midnight for the stupid thing.

The most interesting class of all though, was without a doubt Potions, which was taught by the Slytherin Head, Professor Severus Snape.

Snape, like Flitwick, started by reading the register and also paused when Harry’s name came on.

“Ah yes,” he said softly.  
“Harry Potter – our new celebrity.”

“I go by Hadrian Quinzel now,” Harry told him straight faced.

Draco sniggered a bit next to him, but quickly silenced himself as he saw Snape’s glare. Harry smirked.

“I will call you by your name, and you will answer me, Mr. Potter,” the potions master gritted out.

“Which one?” Harry asked innocently.  
“I know I’ve never been _officially_ adopted, but I like my mom’s name better, so either it’s Quinzel or Quinn for my friends, though I will listen to Napier too.”

“Is your fame not interesting enough for you, Mr. **_Potter_**?” Snape sneered.

“Nope. I never did anything to get it either anyway.”

“That much is certainly correct,” the teacher grumbled before he turned back to the rest of the class.  
"There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few... Who possess, the predisposition... I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death – if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.”

Harry raised a brow at the end of the speech and glanced at Draco, who was grinning smugly, probably sure that he was indeed one of those with a predisposition. Hermione Granger seemed intimidated, but determined to prove she wasn’t a ‘dunderhead’. Probably a muggleborn.

“Potter!” said Snape suddenly.  
“What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?”

“Snow White, sir.,” Harry replied easily, smirking at the snickers of his peers.  
“Or if you want the sleeping potion’s name, it’s Draught of the Living Dead.”

“Don’t act so smug,” Snape growled.  
“Let’s try again Potter. Where would you look if I told you I need a bezoar?”

“In any proper potion’s kit. Unless you want to have a real fresh one, then I would cut into a goat’s stomach to get it. But I’m not cleaning off the blood. If you want a clean one, I’d tell you to get it yourself.”

Snape glared furiously at Harry, while more of the students started giggling behind their hands. Grinning widely, Harry ruffled through his hair and winked at Snape, who just got angrier. The potions master strode over to his desk and planted both his hands on it, leaning closer to Harry until their noses almost touch.

“What’s the difference, Potter, between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?” he asked, sneering.

“The name, considering it’s the same plant, also known as Aconite,” Harry replied, smiling pleasantly.  
“Why don’t you try asking me something difficult? Like how to make a Polyjuice Potion, or a Shrinking Solution?”

Some of the other students laughed at his answer, making Snape’s head snap up and glare at them.

“Detention, Potter,” he growled before returning to the front of the class.

Harry chuckled amused and leaned closer to Draco, a wild grin stretching his lips.

“I think he likes me,” he stage whispered at the blonde.

.              .              .               .              .

After class – which had turned out enormously entertaining with Longbottom exploding his potion and ending up covered in boils – a few Gryffindors stopped Harry from leaving, looking all very eager and curious. Understanding they didn’t mean any harm, Harry sent his friends along as he waited for the expected onslaught of question.

“How did you end up in America? Last we heard your aunt and uncle were found murdered…” a Gryffindor boy, whom Harry believed was called Finnegan, asked nervously.

“-When I was 5, I know,” Harry nodded seriously.  
“They were good people, treated me well, like a second son.”

He forced his expression to become upset and regretful, as if he missed them while in reality, he wanted to laugh hysterically at the mere thought of them ‘treating him well’.

“What happened?” a mousy haired boy asked curiously.

“Robbers is what happened!” Harry exclaimed wide eyed.  
“They came into the house one evening while we were all watching TV. They demanded all our money and goods, but one of them apparently took a shine to me…”

Harry looked down, his lower lip quivering as he willed tears to bead at his eyes. Two of the Gryffindor girls gasped and ‘awed’ at the sight, hugging Harry. The boy could barely contain a smirk from forming and instead gave a weak sob.

“They shot my uncle first, right in front of me,” he whispered.  
“Then, they took me away and killed my aunt and cousin too.”

“They… they kidnapped you?” one of the girls, Patil, whispered shocked.

Harry nodded.

“Took me to their hideout and-… and r-raped me…”

Horrified gasps went through the group as he spoke and Patil and the other girl hugged him even tighter in comfort.

“When… when they were done with me… I don’t know how much later that was – it has to have been months… they took me to the States and sold me.”

“How terrible!” the other girl exclaimed loudly.

“The police barged in just in time, though,” Harry told them, sounding as if _he_ had to comfort _them_.  
“I was lucky that the chief of police’s brother-in-law was a wizard, so he knew what I was, and he sent me to his sister and wizard husband to adopt me because they couldn’t have any kids themselves.”

“You must have gone through so much!” Patil coed.

“You poor baby! I’m sure you’re traumatized!” the other girl sobbed.

“You’re just a filthy liar!” Ron Weasley, who had been listening growled annoyed.

Harry’s eyes watered and he gave a soft whimper as he stared tearfully at the redhead he even went so far as flinch at the glare he received from the boy and took a step back as if afraid. Everyone around, even Weasley’s own friends glared at him.

“Why are you so mean to me?” Harry chocked out.

“How can you say that, Ron!” the brunette girl clamping onto Harry’s arm cried out angrily.  
“You’re just jealous of how brave and strong Harry is! Can’t you see he went through a lot?”

The boy glared at Harry and crossed his arms, keeping eye contact stubbornly while Harry stared back with an innocent expression.

“That’s entirely different of what you told me on the train,” Granger spoke up.  
“You said that you were out when it happened. That you ran away in a panic and lived on the streets until an American tourist took you in.”

The two girls hanging off of Harry’s arms tensed and stared at Harry incredulously. Harry started laughing loudly. He grinned at Granger, who was still glaring at him for lying and shrugged his shoulders.

“And I’ll tell a different story every time someone asks me about where I’ve been,” he told her and the rest of the group.  
“It’s up to you guys to figure out which is true, and which isn’t.”

He laughed again at the looks he received for that. Patil growled in anger and slapped Harry across the face, hard enough to make his head snap to the side. Still, he was chuckling and slowly turned his head back to face the group of Gryffindors only for a short moment, because the other girl whose name he hadn’t cared to remember from the Sorting slapped his other cheek just as hard. Both sides stung and had turned red, but that didn’t stop Harry from laughing uncontrollably.

“Someone else want a go?” he asked as his laughter had died down to amused chuckles.  
“Weasley? Finnegan? Granger? C’mon! you look like you want to!”

He pointed at his right cheek, burning red with the slight impression of Patil’s hand on it. Granger just stuck up her nose in distaste and sniffed before walking away. The rest of the Gryffindors shortly followed behind her, Weasley glaring one last time at him as he went.

Shaking his head and chuckling once more, Harry turned the other way and went back to the Slytherin common room. He really, really liked fucking with people, and Hermione Granger had just earned his attention. She was a lot more gutsy than he had originally given her credit for, and considering the classes he’d had with Gryffindor, he also knew she was pretty smart. He wanted to know more about her.

.              .              .               .              .

At last, it was time for their first flying lesson. This was probably the class he’d been looking forward to the most. They’d be having it along with Gryffindor, and Harry had already noticed many kids from both Houses were equally as excited about flying as he was.

Draco kept on bragging about how he was really good and he told his adventures about flying to everyone who had ears. Harry thought it was pretty funny. Being a liar himself, it was hilarious to hear someone lie as badly as Draco did. No way he nearly hit his head against a helicopter when playing quidditch in his backyard. Still, Pansy Parkinson and Tracy Davis seemed to believe every word he said.

Blaise was really excited too, as he explained his fourth stepfather had been a professional Quidditch player from the French national team. The man had taught Blaise a lot of things before he died during a flying accident. The official story was that the charm keeping his broom airborne gave out one day and he plummeted down, but Harry had learned not to trust official stories too much.

Crabbe and Goyle didn’t seem to have any opinions for themselves and just nodded along with everything Draco said, while Millicent Bulstrode and Haven Runcorn seemed to do exactly the same when following Daphne Greengrass around. The blond girl didn’t seem very interested at all in flying, though she did comment that she liked to watch Quidditch.

The only one who wasn’t excited was probably Theodore Nott. The skinny brunette just scowled the entire time whenever the subject landed on the upcoming flying lesson. Harry didn’t know why, nor did he particularly care, so he just left the boy alone. Nott didn’t talk with anyone in their class anyway, so Harry didn’t see any reason to talk to him.

When class was about to start, the Slytherins were already crowded together on the field before the Gryffindors finally arrived. Twenty brooms were laying on the ground in a neat line Harry noticed before a woman with short grey hair and yellow eyes like a hawk. Harry suspected her to be their teacher, madam Hooch.

“Well, what are you all waiting for?” she barked.  
“Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up!”

Quickly everyone searched for a broom. When Harry looked down at his broom he noticed some twigs stuck out in odd angels and it was probably a decade old.

“Stick out your right hand over your broom,” Called Madam Hooch at the front.  
“And say UP!”

“UP!” Everyone shouted.

Harry’s broom jumped up in his hand immediately but it was one of the only who did. Next to him, Draco scowled and tried again before his broom too flew into his hand. Blaise and Weasley had their brooms in hand shortly after as well. The others all finally had their brooms up as well, both Nott and Granger being some of the slowest in class, and Longbottom failing miserably enough to make Madam Hooch take pity on him and allow him to manually pick up the broom. This had Draco and his buddies snicker, and Harry himself had to bite his lip to keep quiet or he would have joined in.

“Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard,” Madam Hooch said.  
“Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet and then come straight back down by leaning forwards slightly. On my whistle. Three – two –“

Before she could whistle, Longbottom already launched up in the air.

“Come back boy!” Madam Hooch cried out.

Longbottom just rose even higher, until he was already twenty feet high. Harry chuckled softly when saw the scared look on Longbottom’s face, being quiet enough that only Draco could hear him, and the blonde smirked. They saw Longbottom gasp and slipping sideways off the broom before… a loud crack sounded when the boy hit the ground hard and left the poor kid laying in a hump.

“I was more or less hoping for a ‘splash’ instead,” Harry muttered quietly.

“The lake is too far away,” Pansy, who stood at Harry’s other side said frowning.

“I don’t think he meant that Longbottom should have fallen in the water,” Draco said.

Harry grinned widely at the girl, who immediately paled and mumbled a quiet ‘oh’ before refocusing on the teacher. Madam Hooch had at this point walked up to Longbottom to check him over.

“Broken wrist.” Harry heard her mutter.  
“Come on boy, it’s not that bad. Madam Pomfrey will fix you up.”

She turned to the rest of the class.

“No one moves while I bring this boy to the hospital wing! You let the brooms on the ground or you will be leaving this school earlier then you can say ‘QUIDDITCH’!”

Longbottom followed Madam Hooch, his face tear-streaked, clutching his wrist. No sooner they had left or Draco started to laugh.

“Did you see his face, the great lump!”

Some of the other Slytherins joined in. Harry himself gave a soft chuckle too and shook his head.

“Shut up, Malfoy.” Parvati Patil sneered.

“Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?” Pansy taunted.  
“Never thought you’d like fat little crybabies, Parvati.”

“Look!” Draco exclaimed, darting forward and snatching something out of the grass.  
“It’s that stupid thing Longbottom’s gran send him.”

He was holding up a ball the size of a tennis ball. Harry scowled at it. He’d noticed the commotion that morning during breakfast, when Draco had an argument with some of the Gryffindors, mainly Weasley and Longbottom, over something Longbottom had gotten. Now that he could see it up close, Harry recognized it as a Remembral. His dad had thought of gifting his mom one a few months ago when she kept forgetting everything.

“We better give it back to him soon,” he spoke up, internally wincing at his own nice guy act.  
“After all, I bet the poor fool wouldn’t even be able to remember his own name without that thing.”

This caused some more laughs from the Slytherins while the Gryffindors all bristled. Weasley seemed about ready to attack, while Granger was calmer, looking at Harry with a calculating gaze, probably recognizing the comment for what it was meant; not as an insult towards Longbottom per se, but as a way to appease Draco. Of course, Harry absolutely did mean it as an insult to Longbottom.

“I think I’ll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to collect. How about… up a tree.”

Harry grinned and ruffled his own hair before mounting his broom just when Draco did so as well.

“No!” Hermione called out.  
“Madam Hooch told us not to move! You get expelled.”

Harry ignored the warning and kicked off, flying after Draco with a wild grin of manic glee on his face.

“How about this, you throw it and if I can catch it, we’ll give it back to the Gryffs,” he suggested playfully.

Draco must have recognized the glint in Harry’s eyes because he agreed easily and threw the ball in a random direction. Harry laughed joyously as he raced after it, making a few looped-y-loops while he was at it. As the Remembral started plummeting towards the ground, Harry followed after it, putting his broom entirely vertical. He went down making a corkscrew, but just as he was within reaching distance of the ball, he pulled up, watching with satisfaction as the ball crashed on the ground and spat in thousand small pieces. Plastering an apologetic expression on his face, he looked over at the other kids, ready to yell an apology to the Gryffindors.

“Hey!” a voice suddenly called out.

Harry tensed and looked over, eyes widening in surprise when he noticed the guy that had called out was Marcus Flint, the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team. The sixth years probably had a free period, considering Flint was in his Quidditch garbs and holding his own broom.

“What in Salazar’s name do you think you’re bloody doing, Quinzel?” Flint growled as Harry landed.  
“Flying without supervision can get you expelled.”

Harry looked down shamefully, making the effort to blush and have his eyes water to make the look seem more authentic.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled quietly.

“No harm done this time,” Flint muttered.  
“And actually… you were really great up there…”

The burly sixth year frowned in thought for a few short moments before he grabbed Harry’s arm and started dragging him towards the castle.

“You’re exactly what I need, Quinn,” he announced.

Harry frowned in confusion, but allowed the older teen to pull him along towards the dungeons. Once they arrived in front of the Potions class, Flint let go of Harry and knocked. He waited a few seconds until he heard Snape call out for them to enter and grabbed Harry again, dragging him inside while the third year Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students were packing their stuff. Fred and George noticed Harry and waved. Harry grinned in their direction and waved back.

The two of them stayed around until everyone else was out, before Snape growled for them to leave already. The twins bowed mockingly before rushing out, laughing at the Stinging hex hitting the wall next to their heads. Once the door fell closed, Snape turned towards Harry and Flint.

“What do I owe this visit to?” he asked in that sarcastic tone of his.

“I want Harry in the team,” Flint announced boldly.

Harry and Snape both stared in shock at the teen, who stared back at his Head of House with a determined expression.

“We’ve got an acceptable team, and with Charlie Weasley out of the picture, we do have a chance, but Wood is one hell of a Keeper, and with Diggory showing that much potential in his debut as Seeker for Hufflepuff last year, it’ll be difficult to say the least. Besides, Madam Hooch’s been keeping an extra close eye on us,” Flint explained rapidly.  
“Just now, when I saw Quinzel on a broom, I just knew he’s the kind of leverage we need to win the cup this year again because we can’t do it the same way as last year.”

Snape looked at the two students for a few minutes, making Flint and Harry visibly nervous. Though he already knew Snape disliked him for some reason, he couldn’t help but let hope fill him. He really wanted to play Quidditch if he could. Back in his day, Joker used to be a Beater, but he had taught Harry how to play – and cheat – in all positions.

“Very well,” Snape conceded at last.  
“I’ll give Mr. Potter permission to play.”

“It’s Quinzel, sir,” Harry told him, much more respectful as he’d been during class.  
“I never knew my birth parents and I really hate being compared to them. Besides, I heard my dad was a Gryffindor…”

He made a disgusted face at that, making Flint chuckle a bit. The big teen pressed a hand on Harry’s head and ruffled his hair roughly, making Harry lean into the touch. Man, he really did love the feeling of a hand in his hair.

“Fine, Quinzel,” Snape muttered, sounding much less aggressive as before.  
“And since you’re here already, you can do your detention right now by cleaning all the cauldrons without using magic.”

With that, he walked out of the classroom, his robes billowing behind him. Flint chuckled again and gave Harry’s hair one more good ruffling before he left too. He was barely gone, or the door burst open again and the Weasley twins stormed in, both grinning like maniacs.

“Looks like ickle Harrykins-“

“-Got himself a permission slip to play Quidditch!” they announced.

“Eavesdropping is not nice, you know,” Harry chuckled.  
“So as punishment, you two will clean the cauldrons for me.”

“And why would we do that?” one of them asked teasingly.

“Because Snape said only I wasn’t allowed to use magic.”

They laughed at that and both threw an arm over Harry’s shoulder.

“Quite the argument you have their, Mr. Quinzel,” the one on Harry’s left spoke.

“You’re quite lucky we like you, young man,” the one on the right laughed.

They both lifted their wands and cast a simultaneous ‘Scourgify’. Harry chuckled and freed himself from their grips. He gave them a bow in thanks before rushing out of the room and towards his common room. It was completely empty right now, so Harry quickly went to his dorm and opened his trunk.

 ** _*At last,*_** Malinda hissed as she was finally let out.  
**_*I wish to go hunting. I’m very hungry, Hatchling.*_**

Harry rolled his eyes at his snake. He’d been feeding Malinda every evening, so she really wasn’t starving or anything. She just wanted to go out.

 ** _*Go ahead. There’s a big forest not far from the castle,*_** he told her.

Malinda nodded and slithered away while Harry pulled out his notebook.

_[I need a broom to play Quidditch.]_

He wrote, before slamming the book closed again. He could hear his classmates walking into the common room, since Draco was being so loud. It seemed he was complaining about how Madam Hooch clearly didn’t know what she was talking about when she said Draco’s technique was wrong. He grinned and ran out to greet them. He wanted to see their faces when they heard Flint had recruited him for the team.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update on Friday, after that, it'll slow down to once a week, probably on Wednesday.


	20. Hagrid

The next morning, a large black owl flew into the great Hall along with all the other owls, carrying a large package and dropping it on Harry’s lap. Grinning, he took out the little paper attached to it while the other kids at his table leaned closer to get a proper look.

*

Kid,

Here’s the fastest and most expensive broom in the world. It cost a fucking fortune to get and another half fortune for personalizing it, which I obviously did :o)

I also included a hair dying potion without any dye in yet, so you can just play around with colors if you want. Did I tell you I had purple hair when I went to Hogwarts? It was an accident. Some potion blew up in my face and left it purple, but I kept dying it after because I liked how it clashed with the Slytherin tie.

Anyway, have fun, break some arms and legs (maybe no necks yet though, no matter how funny that would be) and bring back the Quidditch Cup! I’m really proud of you, kid.

With Love,

Your dad

PS: I paid for the broom with your money, so your trust vault is practically empty now.

*

“What is it?” Draco asked curiously.

Harry smirked and handed him the letter before tearing into the package, shouting in happiness when he saw the broom. It was bright purple with green and silver stripes on it and orange footrests. The twigs were slick and black making the whole thing a very odd combination.

“We definitely won’t lose sight of you on this,” Blaise chuckled.

“That’s the plan, Stan!” Harry laughed.  
“I love the spotlights! So keep your eyes on me, and I’ll give you a good show.”

The others chuckled a bit, but Draco didn’t join them as he scowled at the letter. He glanced over to Harry, opening his mouth to say something, but closing it again when he saw Harry’s warning glare. Quickly grinning again, Harry took the letter back while Pansy pulled the broom closer to inspect the golden curly letters on the side.

“A Supīdo kyō Lightningstrike!” she exclaimed shocked.  
“Aren’t those the super expensive, super-fast Japanese brooms?!”

“Seriously?” Blaise asked shocked.  
“I thought the Lightningstrike wouldn’t come out for another three months!”

Harry grinned and leaned back, winking at Pansy and Daphne.

“Does this now make me the coolest guy in our year?” he asked them smirking.

“Sure,” Daphne replied, rolling her eyes at him, but still smiling.

“I’m ignoring the sarcasm and accept that as a definite yes,” Harry chuckled.

“Everyone is allowed to dream,” Blaise joked.

.              .              .               .              .

Since today was a Saturday, Harry opted to go outside and spend the day discovering the secrets of Hogwarts by himself. He’d found some fun people to hang out with, but that was all. they were fun, not necessarily interesting though. Not like Dick.

Harry frowned. It was only the first week and he already missed his friend. With a sigh Harry sat down underneath a tree. Since when had he gotten so attached to Dick? He knew the other was his best friend, possibly his only real friend, but this was just ridiculous! He missed his parents too of course, but that was to be expected. His parents meant everything to him. They saved him, cared for him and loved him in their own, special way. Harry would die without them, but he should be able to live without Dick.

“Quinn!”

Harry looked up to see Draco approach him, making Harry sit up straight and watch the blonde with curious green eyes. The young Malfoy was frowning deeply.

“Flint wanted me to tell you you’re supposed to try-out for the team at five,” he said.

“Hmmm… Time enough,” Harry grinned.

“Time for what exactly?” Draco asked skeptically.

“To visit Hagrid! And you’re coming!”

Draco pulled up his nose in disgust at that.

“My father warned me to stay away from that smelly oaf,” he said haughtily.

“Funny, my dad told me to keep him close and use him to my own gain.”

That had Draco’s interest immediately and he smiled viciously.

“In that case, please lead the way, Quinn,” he said.

.              .              .               .              .

When Harry knocked on the large door of the hut, they heard a frantic scrabbling at the door before the booming footsteps of Hagrid came closer.

“Get back, Fang!” they heard the Hagrid’s voice ring out while he opened the door.  
“Hang on there. Get back Fang! Oh! Harry, and that’s Malfoy, my guess is.”

He let them in, struggling to keep a big, brown dog back at his collar. Draco made a face when seeing the beast and made sure to keep Harry between him and their hosts at all time. Inside the house there was only one room and Harry thought it looked rather cozy.

“Make yourself at home,” Hagrid told them, letting go of Fang who went straight to Draco to greet the boy enthusiastically.

He hissed in disgust when the animal started to lick him and tried to push the slobbering creature away. like Hagrid, Fang wasn’t as fierce as he looked.

“Nice place,” Harry commented casually, ignoring Draco’s loud protests under the attention of Fang.

“Thanks! Dumbledore gave it to me when I was expelled,” the giant said smiling.  
“If yeh don’t mind me asking, but wha’ are yeh two doing here?”

“Just trying to discover Hogwarts a bit on our own,” Harry said cheerfully.  
“We heard you lived here and got curious! They say you knew my birth parents…”

He really didn’t care at all about his birth parents, but if it got Hagrid mushy and easier to manipulate, Harry would act as if he did. If his dad was to be believed, Hagrid was someone who was easily molded to one’s will. Indeed, the giant’s eyes became vacant as he stared at Harry with a stupid grin on his face.

"Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," he said.  
"Yeh look a lot like yet dad, but yeh've got yet mom's eyes."

“Really?” Harry asked, not able to bring up any enthusiasm, though Hagrid didn’t really seem to notice.

Draco, however, did and frowned in confusion.

“Yeh know, You used to fit right in the palm of me hand when I brought yeh to the Dursleys.”

Harry’s entire face went blank at the mention of his dead relatives and he stared at Hagrid coldly, who now finally noticed something off and looked at Harry confused. The young raven haired boy chuckled darkly and gave Hagrid a bitter smile.

“So I have you to thank for four years of abuse and beatings at the hands of magic-hating muggles?” he asked cruelly.

Hagrid paled immediately at that and sat down on a big chair conveniently placed behind him. the poor wood croaked in protest. Harry laughed softly and shook his head, smiling crookedly.

“You couldn’t know, right? I mean, who expects people to beat, cut, whip and burn a child that’s been forced on them under threats?” he teased.  
“Did you know that? My relatives were terrified of the Wizarding World because if they didn’t raise me, they’d be persecuted.”

“They-they threatened Petunia? Why?” Hagrid asked horrified.

“Because they knew she wouldn’t take me otherwise, I guess,” Harry shrugged.  
“But let’s talk about more fun things! Like what it’s like working as the Ground Keeper of Hogwarts! That must be exciting, right?”

“It is!” Hagrid agreed, smiling weakly.  
“I get ta take care of lots of special animals, and I can help out th’ kids…”

Harry tuned out his rattling and looked around the house, noticing the paper of a few days ago. Curiously, he walked over to the table and picked it up, reading through it.

*

Gringotts brake-in latest

Investigations continue into the break-in at

Gringotts on 31 July, widely believed to be the work of Dark wizards and witches unknown. Gringotts’ goblins today insisted that nothing had been taken. The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied the same day.

‘But we’re not telling you what was in there, so keep your noses out if you know what’s good for you,’ said a Gringotts spokesgoblin this afternoon.

*

Harry remembered vaguely Ron Weasley telling him something about this on the train, but he wasn’t fully sure. Most of what the redhead had said to him had just gone ignored at the time.

“Funny! We went to Gringotts that day!” he said with a chuckle.  
“And so did you! I saw you going in when we came out… Did you try to rob Gringotts Hagrid?”

The hairy giant blushed and shook his head.

“No. I was there on official Hogwarts business, for Professor Dumbledore,” he said proudly.

“Did he ask you to rob Gringotts?!” Harry gasped out horrified.

“Of course not!” Hagrid replied offended.  
“He had me pick up a package from a vault for safekeeping.”

“Why would you take something _out_ of Gringotts for safekeeping?” Draco, who had finally gotten rid of the dog, asked, narrowing his eyes.

“… I shouldn’t’ve said tha’,” Hagrid muttered.

“Obviously because someone was willing to break into Gringotts to get it,” Harry said grinning, waving the paper around.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry and Draco left shortly after that, Harry whistling a happy tune under his breath while Draco tried to clean the dog slobber of his robes with a scowl on his face.

“I told you Hagrid was a useful informant,” he said cheerfully.

“How was he useful?” Draco muttered bitterly.  
“I only found out his dog creates enough spit to fill a bloody bathtub.”

Harry laughed so hard at the comment he had to stop walking for a moment so he could steady himself against a tree. Draco glared at him the entire time. Eventually, Harry’s giggles turned into chuckles before dying down entirely and he grinned at the blonde.

“I, for one, found out that there’s something kept in Hogwarts that’s worth breaking into Gringotts for,” he told Draco.  
“And it’s being kept on the third floor corridor.”

Draco’s eyes widened in shock.

“Are you sure?” he asked softly.

“We’ll find out eventually, I’m sure,” Harry smiled calmly.

Draco sighed at the cryptic answer of the other and shook his head, deciding it wasn’t worth it.

“About your relatives…” Draco started hesitantly.  
“Did that really happen or were you lying again?”

Harry laughed and clapped Draco on his back a bit too hard to be considered friendly and grinned widely.

“You’re one of those prudes who look away when we’re getting ready for bed, aren’t you?” he teased.

“Why would I want to look at a naked person?” Draco asked, looking at Harry weirdly.

“No reason,” Harry said with a shrug.  
“But if you had looked, you’d have seen the scars.”

Draco grunted and pulled a face.

“It’s disgusting that muggles would do that to wizards,” he grumbled.  
“They should be honored they are allowed to raise a magical child!”

“Most people, muggle or magical, want to protect their view of normality by casting away anyone who doesn’t fit,” Harry said with a shrug.  
“Anyone who is different is a danger to them and needs to be hated. I’m a freak, so they treated me like one.”

“Don’t call yourself a freak, Quinn,” Draco growled.  
“You’re a wizard, so they should have been kissing your feet, not beat you up!”

Harry laughed and ruffled his own hair. The feeling of his own hand in his hair made him forget the current conversation when he thought of something else. He pulled a strand of his fringe to look at it and grinned.

“I think I’ll dye my hair purple,” he mused.  
“I think it’ll clash nicely with my tie. Or pink. What do you thing Draco?”

“Forget what I said, You really are a freak,” Draco grouched.

“Of course I am!” Harry laughed joyously.

.              .              .               .              .

At 5 PM, Harry and Draco found themselves at the Quidditch pitch along with Marcus Flint and pretty much the whole team and several of their own classmates. The older teen had first scowled when seeing Harry’s broom, but soon his eyes widened when noticing just what kind of broom it was and he grinned excitedly.

“With that kind of broom, you’ll have to screw up big time not to do good!” he said grinning.  
“At least I now know why everyone wanted to be here for your tryouts.”

“Hit me, boss!” Harry said grinning, playfully saluting the older teen.

Flint chuckled and walked over to Harry and Draco together with Adrian Pucey, the team’s star Chaser since last year. Draco had told him everyone was sure Pucey would make Captain after Flint left.

“So did you test that little present your dad sent you yet?” Flint asked, eyeing the broom hungrily.

“Sure did!” Harry replied happily, grinning brightly at the two older students.

“And? How did it go?” Pucey asked eagerly, his eyes glinting with excitement.

Harry just grinned wider and ruffled his hair, combing through it with his fingers.

“I’m happy with the result,” he said proudly.  
“The color is nice and flashy and it doesn’t undo the natural softness.”

Flint and Pucey scowled confused and looked at each other for a moment before turning back towards Harry questioningly.

“What?” Pucey asked confused.

“He’s talking about the hair dye potion he got along with the broom,” Draco drawled, rolling his eyes.  
“Just ignore it, otherwise he’ll drive you insane. Trust me on this.”

Harry smiled innocently and gripped his broom a bit tighter.

“You’re hair’s still as black as before though,” Pucey said frowning.

“I tested it on my pubic hair,” Harry said cheerfully.  
“So I was hoping you guys wouldn’t know. That would make you a pervert.”

“Let’s just start with the tryout,” Flint sighed.  
“You know how to play, don’t you Quinzel?”

“I do. My dad taught me how to play,” Harry replied cheerfully.

“Which position?” Pucey asked.

“He played as a Beater, but he taught me all positions.”

Flint hummed and took a short bat from the box of equipment he’d brought, handing it to Harry and taking his broom from him.

“In that case, we’ll start with the Beater,” Flint decided.

“Great! I like that one best anyway!” Harry grinned.

“Why? Because your dad played it?” Pucey asked.

“Nope! Because I won’t be flagged if I break someone’s nose in that position!”

Flint chuckled and shook his head as he motioned for Pucey to release the Bludger from the box. The black ball shot up, forcing the third year Chaser to jump to the side and raced through the air before flying straight at Harry. Harry grinned and readied himself. He’d had enough broken bones and concussions perfecting his swing (and playing with Bird-boy helped too) so when the Bludger reached him, Harry gave a mighty hit that sent it flying straight into the bleachers. Good thing the two current team Beaters had actually brought their equipment, as Derrick hit the Bludger right back with the same amount of force Harry had used.

Flint jumped forward and grabbed the Bludger. He struggled with the ball for a little while, trying to force it back into the box before he finally succeeded with a bit of help from Pucey. With a sigh, Flint took out a larger leather ball and smiled at Harry, tossing the Slurk at him.

“Pucey and I will be testing your skill as a Chaser now,” he said.

Pucey grinned and mounted his own broom while Flint did the same with his. Harry laughed and grabbed his own colorful broom, wanting to get in the air as quick as possible. As he mounted his broom, he turned to Draco, giving the blonde a teasing grin.

“I’d look for a good spot to watch from, Drakey-boy! This is going to be a spectacle!”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry prided himself in being good at all the positions in Quidditch (and Quodpot, but no one played that here in England, even though Harry really loved the exploding balls) so when the practice was over, and he scored several points playing Chaser, caught the Snitch and stopped half of the attempted goals as Keeper, he considered it only just that his Housemates were all impressed by him.

“You’re not becoming a Keeper,” Flint decided immediately.  
“You’re not bad, but it’s obviously your worst position. Chaser… could be, but your best positions are Seeker and Beater. Now we already have a Seeker and two Beaters, but Lucian Bole and Terrence Higgs are both pretty good as Chasers themselves, and they’re willing to switch positions.”

“They’re willing or they don’t have a choice?” Harry asked teasingly.

Flint gave a smug smirk and shrugged his shoulders.

“If they want to stay on the team, they step aside when someone better comes along.”

“So, Quinzel, which position do you want to play?” Pucey asked curiously.

Even though Harry had already made up his mind, he still hummed in thought and tapped his chin as if finding it a very difficult decision. For some reason, his actions disturbed his peers and Flint and Pucey took an unconscious step back when they noticed the demonic glint in the first year’s bright green orbs.

“As a Seeker, I show off neat tricks and become the hero of the game, but as a Beater, I can get away with a lot of violence… I know! I want to be a Beater!”

 


	21. Midnight Adventures

Classes became a lot more interesting once Harry started to fool around some more. The first week, Harry had laid low, but he had quickly grown tired of being considered the Boy Who Lived and chose to instead make his own name.

For that reason, and for the strange looks he received that Monday, he showed up with bright purple hair with bubblegum pink headlights in the first class. To celebrate this wondrous day of his new reputation, he also turned McGonagall’s robes the same shade of pink, which cost him 10 points from Slytherin and he got a detention. Charming Spanish subtitles for Professor Binns was hilarious and actually kept most of the students awake, even if it was just to laugh about it, but Binns didn’t seem to notice a thing and just droned on.

During Defense, he was on his best behavior however, whenever he answered one of Quirrel’s questions, he did so with a stutter. This caused some chuckles from the other Slytherin’s and some Gryffindors, but frowns from the others and soon, Quirrel refused to let him answer.

“Th-that’s s-so unf-f-f-fair!” Harry exclaimed offended when he walked out of the classroom, making sure Quirrel could still hear him.  
“Pr-proffe-s-ssor Qu-Quirrel i-is dis-discrimina-a-ting me be-because o-of my st-st-stutter!”

Quirrel blushed furiously, while Blaise and Draco both chuckled amused and shook their heads. Granger, who just so happened to walk by at that moment, gave him the stink eye before sniffing angrily and walking past them, her nose proudly stuck in the air.

.              .              .               .              .

During lunch, Harry was the happy spectator of Draco and Ron arguing in the middle of the Great Hall. As usual, Crabbe and Goyle were flanking the blonde while he taunted the redhead, smirking cruelly.

“Yeah, you’re real brave with two big trolls by your side, aren’t you?” Ron growled.

"I'd take you on anytime on my own," Draco hissed back.  
"Tonight, if you want. Wizard's duel. Wands only, no contact. What's the matter? Scared?”

“Of course not! Just say the time and I’ll be there! Neville will be my second, who’s yours?”

The Longbottom boy paled when he was called forth and shook his head, but he was ignored by the two arguing boys, making Harry chuckle. Draco smirked and sized up Crabbe and Goyle before his gaze slid over to the Slytherin table and landed on Harry. Harry raised an amused brow as he saw Draco’s smug smirk.

“Quinn,” Draco said as he looked back towards the youngest Weasley.  
"Midnight. We'll meet you in the trophy room, that's always unlocked."

Ron’s eyes narrowed and he glared angrily at Harry, who just gave a sheepish grin and shrugged helplessly. He wasn’t gonna say no to a Wizarding Duel, but Ron didn’t need to know that. The longer people could see him as a victim, the easier school life would be for Harry.

“Perfect,” Ron hissed.

With that, Draco turned around and walked back to their table with a big smirk on his face. He sat down across from Harry and Blaise, while Crabbe and Goyle, like always, took the seat on either side of the young Malfoy.

“You’re not planning on going, are you?” Blaise asked, furrowing his brows.

“Of course not!” Draco scoffed.  
“I’m going to inform Filch there will be students out near the Trophy Room.”

“You’re a fucking heartless bastard! I love it!” Harry laughed.  
“I wish I could see Ron’s face when he realizes he’s been set up.”

“That would be quite the sight,” Blaise agreed grinning.

“You’re so smart and cruel!” Pansy gushed over Draco

The blonde smirked at her, making the dark haired girl blush. And look away giggling. Daphne and Tracy, who were sitting next to her, both rolled their eyes, but smiled amused.

“Harry!”

Conversation at their table died down as two Gryffindor redheads approach, identical smirks on identical faces. Harry grinned at the twins and waved them over, which they then did right away.

“Fred and George Weasley,” Harry greeted them.

“We heard you made it to the Slytherin team!” one of them exclaimed cheerfully.

“And as a Beater even!” the second one joined in with a wide grin.  
“Did you know that we are Beaters too, made the team last year…”

“We’re pretty proud of that, but you did something else!” the first one said again.

“First in a century to make the team in first year!” the second laughed.

“Won’t save you from losing to us though!” the first said again, making Draco bristle angrily.

“As if we’d lose to a bunch of piss poor bloodtraitors who can’t even afford proper school robes!”

Harry rolled his eyes and put a hand on Draco’s shoulder, forcing him to sit back down as he grinned at the redheads.

“We’ll see during the game,” he said mildly.  
“Slytherin vs. Gryffindor is the first of the year.”

“You’re right!” one of the twins laughed.  
“During the game we’ll show you why we’re called ‘the Unbeatable Beaters’!”

With that, the two turned around and walked away. Draco huffed in anger and glared at their retreating forms before turning his gaze towards Harry.

“You better show them their place during the game, Quinn,” he growled.

Harry smiled darkly at the blonde before glancing over to the Gryffindor table.

“Don’t worry, Drake,” he said amused.  
“I fully plan on it.”

.              .              .               .              .

Classes were finally done for the day, and Harry decided to go exploring a bit more on his own, wanting to be away from all the annoying snobbishness going on in the Snakepit. This was how he, completely by accident, ended up in the library. With a sigh, he opted to just see if they had a comic section.

He walked around a bit, looking around a bit bored until a large, floating stack of books caught his attention and he decided to follow it, curious who had to look up so much stuff. When he found who it was, he paused and blinked in surprise before laughing softly.

“It’s _just_ a one foot essay, Granger,” he teased.  
“And I doubt Binns will actually read them. He gives the exact same class every day.”

“ _Professor_ Binns,” the brunette corrected him with a glare.

“If you say so,” the boy shrugged.

Granger rolled her eyes and turned away, looking through the large bookcases for yet another book it seemed. Harry scowled, confused as to why she had to do this much research on just one lame essay and decided to follow her.

They walked around for a few minutes, the brunette witch looking around at books while Harry stayed near, always keeping a respectful three foot distance to her at all times. After a while, Granger got completely fed up with his behavior and turned around to face him with a glare.

“Why are you following me, Potter?” the brunette witch asked annoyed, glaring at Harry.

“Quinzel,” Harry corrected her immediately, grinning widely at her as he sat down across from her.  
“Hadrian Quinzel, but my friends call me Quinn.”

“… Fine,” the girl muttered, returning to her book.  
“So what are you doing in the library other than watching me study, Quinn?”

She knew she’d said something wrong when she noticed how his grin only widened more, but for the life of her, she had no idea what it was.

“So, we’re friends now!” Harry exclaimed proudly.  
“I said my _friends_ call me Quinn, and you called me it, so now you’ll never get rid of me!”

Oh… Bloody hell, this wasn’t Hermione’s day, was it? She glared scathingly at the purple haired boy, who just smiled back. Somehow, this smile seemed a lot more sincere than any other she’d seen him wear before, but she shook that thought off quickly. She probably just imagined it.

“If you’re here to tease me about not having friends, don’t bother,” she drawled dryly.  
“Malfoy and his lot already beat you to it.”

“Why would I do that?” Harry asked confused.  
“I’m your friend. If I teased you for not having any friends, I’d basically be saying that I don’t exist.”

“You honestly want to be my friend?” Hermione asked surprised.  
“But you’re a Slytherin! Shouldn’t you hate muggle borns like me?”

Harry scowled at that. He was perfectly aware how his peers felt about ‘mudbloods’, but with his mom being a muggle, Harry wasn’t inclined to share that opinion.

“I was raised in the Muggle World,” he told her shrugging.

Hermione narrowed his eyes at him and closed her book.

“What if I don’t want to be your friend?” she asked him.  
“You lie all the time and you pull mean pranks.”

“I’m a pathological liar,” Harry told her with a grin.  
“It’s an actual mental illness you know. I can’t help it.”

“Is it really?” Hermione asked, now feeling silly for being so harsh on Harry.

Harry chuckled and rested his head on his arms as he grinned widely at Hermione. Not the creepy kind he usually did, but a nice, friendly smile.

“Not a clue,” he confessed amused.  
“I never listen when the psychiatrists are talking. They’re boring.”

“You’re really odd, you know that?” Hermione sighed, looking resigned in her fate as Harry’s new friend.

“I blame my uncle for that,” the boy muttered, scowling.  
“You know, he used to beat me up pretty badly. ‘cause I was a freak.”

Hermione tensed. Though she had never been physically abused, she wasn’t a stranger to the term ‘freak’ term by any means. Her parents, though loving they were, were scared of what she could do, and had been just as relieved as she was that there were others like her. Before Harry, no one had ever wanted to be her friend either, all the kids thinking she was a freak, either for her strange abilities or her love of studying.

“Every time I got out of line… BAM! Or sometimes I was just sitting there, doing nothing! POW!” Harry started, balling his hand into a fist and moving his arm as if he was hitting someone.  
“Uncle Vernon tended to favor the grape, you see. And it was better to act it out on his freakish nephew than his perfectly normal wife and son.”

“Oh…” Hermione mumbled, looking at the boy with great pity.

Harry ignored the way she looked at him and sat up straight in his chair as he grinned widely, as if remembering something nice.

“I’ve only seen uncle Vernon really happy once,” he told her.  
“He took us all to the circus. With all the clowns, running around, dropping their pants…”

Harry stopped talking to chuckle a bit, and Hermione couldn’t help but smile as well. It wasn’t hard to imagine it, little Harry and his mean looking relatives in the circus. She’d seen pictures of the Dursleys in history books and on the news shortly after they had been murdered. The large man laughing until tears sprang in his eyes was a comedic sight, she was sure.

“The old man laughed so hard I thought he’d bust a gut!” Harry laughed.  
“So, the very next night, I went to my uncle with his best trousers around my ankles! ‘Uncle, look at me!’ and ZWOOP! I took a big bad fall and tore the crotch clean out of his pants!”

He and Hermione laughed for a long while at that until the girl had to wipe the tears out of her eyes.

“And then he broke my nose,” Harry sighed, making the girl sober up immediately.  
“But hey! That’s the downside of comedy. You’re always taking shots of people who don’t get the joke.”

Hermione looked down at her lap, not really knowing how to reply to that. Poor Harry had gone through so much, no wonder he grew up having so many issues… That thought made her eyes narrow in suspicion, and she looked back up at the boy, who was watching her in amusement.

“Are you lying again?” she asked accusatory.

“I guess you’ll never know,” Harry chuckled, standing up from his seat.  
“Well! This was fun! Tomorrow same place, same time?”

Harry yawned loudly and stretched like a cat, making Hermione smile again.

“Alright, see you tomorrow again, Quinn.”

“See you tomorrow, Hermione.”

Maybe being friends with Harry Quinn wouldn’t be so bad after all…

.              .              .               .              .

Harry lay in his bed that evening, thinking about Weasley and Longbottom getting in trouble with a happy smile on his face. He wanted to see their faces when Filch showed up instead of Draco… And he still wanted to check out the out of bounds corridor to find out what Dumbledore was hiding…

“That’s it! I’m going,” he muttered to himself.

Determined, he threw his blankets off and grabbed some clothes from his trunk. Plain black, because although he preferred wearing cheerful – and if possible, clashing – colors in his free time, he needed to be sneaky to get past Filch, though he was pretty sure that he would be in the clear as long as he stayed away from the Trophy Room.

He climbed a lot of moving stairs to get to the third floor, making sure to stay away from the open corridors and the obvious routes. That’s why he soon had gotten lost. Frowning, Harry silently cursed his lack of thought on setting out a route during the day. Damn Hermione for distracting him…

Speaking of…

“Hermione?” he asked shocked.

The brunette tensed and looked over, her eyes widening when she noticed Harry.

“Harry! What are you doing here?!” she gasped.

“What are you doing here?” he shot back frowning.

“I’m going to stop Ron and Neville from getting in trouble,” she scoffed.  
“They wouldn’t listen to me when I told them it’s a stupid idea.”

Perfect! Harry could work with that. He breathed in relief and let his shoulders sag, smiling sheepishly at Hermione who was looking at him expectantly.

“Same,” he told her with a weak shrug and a small chuckle.  
“Draco was bragging about how he informed Filch of wandering students. He never planned on showing up at all.”

Hermione’s eyes widened in shock and grabbed Harry’s wrist, pulling him along as she speed walked through the halls.

“We need to find Ron and Neville, fast!” she exclaimed.

Behind her, Harry scowled annoyed. He didn’t want to go to the damn Trophy Room! He certainly didn’t want to get those two morons out of fucking trouble! But if he wanted to keep Hermione as a friend, he had to play along and act as if he cared about the redhead and the crybaby.

They shortly arrived at the Trophy Room, where Ron and Neville were already waiting. As Harry and Hermione entered, the two Gryffindor boy’s turned around. Neville smiled in relief when he saw the two newcomers, but Ron just scowled.

“You’re not Malfoy,” he said.

“Well, aren’t you just a little Sherlock Holmes,” Harry drawled smirking.  
“Draco isn’t coming. Never planned to actually.”

“WHAT?!” Ron shouted angrily.

“Shush! He warned-” Hermione started.

"Sniff around, my sweet, they might be lurking in a corner."

It was Filch speaking to Mrs. Norris. With wide eyes, Harry waved at the other three to follow him as quickly as possible. They scurried silently toward the door, away from Filch's voice. Neville's robes had barely whipped round the corner when they heard Filch enter the trophy room.

"They're in here somewhere," they heard him mutter.  
“Probably hiding."

Harry ran the other way as the voices, the three Gryffindors running after him as they passed hallway after hallway in their mad dash to keep away from Filch and his nasty cat, Mrs. Norris. Only once they were far away from the Trophy Room did they slow down and rested against a wall.

“We need to go back to our common rooms before someone realizes we’re out of bed,” Hermione panted.

“I think that’s a good idea, yeah,” Ron muttered, looking over to Harry.  
“Thanks for coming to warn us, Po- Quinzel.”

“No problem,” Harry said, smiling.  
“Just don’t let Draco know. I’d like to not become a pariah in my own House.”

The redhead chuckled a bit and nodded in agreement, holding out his hand. Grinning, Harry took it. Nice people were so easy to trick into thinking you were one of them. They always trusted everyone on their words.

"Let's go."

It wasn't going to be that simple. They hadn't gone more than a dozen steps when a doorknob rattled and something came shooting out of a classroom in front of them. It was Peeves. He caught sight of them and gave a squeal of delight.

"Shut up, Peeves, please. You'll get us thrown out,” Ron pleaded.

"Wandering around at midnight, Ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you'll get caught!" Peeves cackled.

"Not if you don't give us away, Peeves, please," Hermione begged.

"Should tell Filch, I should," Peeves said innocently, his eyes glittering.  
"It's for your own good, you know."

Harry sincerely doubted the poltergeist did anything for anyone’s own good, but he kept his mouth shut. He had too much respect for someone as wicked and devious as the spirit to get in his way. If anything, maybe he could team up with him later...

"Get out of the way," snapped Ron, taking a swipe at Peeves.

"STUDENTS OUT OF BED!" Peeves bellowed.  
"STUDENTS OUT OF BED DOWN THE CHARMS CORRIDOR"

Ducking under Peeves, they ran for their lives, right to the end of the corridor where they slammed into a locked door. Harry cursed and slammed his hands into it. He already had three weeks detention. He couldn’t get more already! They’d send him away!

"This is it!" Ron moaned, as they pushed helplessly at the door  
"We're done for! This is the end!"

They could hear footsteps, Filch running as fast as he could toward Peeves's shouts.

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled.

She grabbed Harry's wand, tapped the lock.

“Alohomora!” she whispered.

Harry grinned and threw the door open. Now that was a very useful little charm. He’d have to remember that, he could use that to break into people’s houses much easier! Theft would become a piece of cake. He was still grinning as the others rushed in with him and closed the door, all three pressing their ears against the door to see if they could hear Filch. Not Harry though, he just decided to look around.

They weren’t in a room at all, but in the forbidden corridor Harry had wanted to check out. His eyes locked onto the middle face of a three headed dog and he gave a soft chuckle, which was immediately silenced by Ron, who looked over minutely to send him a glare before refocusing on the door. Harry could hear voices, so he guessed Filch had caught up with Peeves. He was just more interested in figuring out what a giant Cerberus was doing in a school full of kids. Not that Harry complained. The dog was pretty damn cute if you asked him.

“I want to pet him,” he stated.

“What are you talking abou-“ Ron started annoyed, but fell silent when he saw the large, black, three headed dog.

Hermione squeaked in fear while Ron desperately swung the door back open and rushed out, the other two ‘brave’ Gryffindors following behind. Harry cackled madly at their hurried retreat and skipped out of the room after them, grinning like a maniac. He liked scared people. They were so responsive.

He whistled softly when making his way back to the dungeons, taking to only using the secret passages his dad had told him about. It took him longer than he would have if he had taken the direct route, but Harry didn’t mind at all. He could easily go without any sleep and this way he could explore the castle some more, like he had planned in the first place. And he could think about the trapdoor he’d seen under one of the Cerberus’ large paws.

 


	22. Halloween

The next day was mostly boring. Harry tried to pull off a few more pranks, like making the ceiling of the History class burst out confetti every time Binns said the words ‘Goblin Wars’, or turning all of the garlic in the Defense classroom into moldy cheese, which made the entire room stink so bad they had to be evacuated. Harry had to keep in his laughter the entire time, trying to act innocent. To his big surprise, it actually worked and he got away without any loss of points and no detention added to his already immense stockpile of hours he’d collected in the past few days alone.

“You’re bloody brilliant, Quinn,” Blaise whispered in his ear as they walked back to the dungeons for their free hour.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Harry spoke, smirking at the Italian.

“Of course you don’t,” Draco drawled, rolling his eyes at him.  
“And where were you last night anyway? I heard you get back at about two in the morning!”

“Apparently, saving Weasley from getting busted. By accident,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“I wanted to find out what’s hidden in the forbidden corridor, and I found out.”

Blaise was already ahead, so Harry and Draco could put their heads together and scheme for a bit.

“A fully grown male Cerberus,” Harry told him smugly, snickering at the way all color disappeared from his friend’s face.  
“And he was sitting right on top of a trapdoor. Intrigued yet? I know I am.”

“More scared for my life,” Draco hissed.  
“They put a bloody killer beast in the school!”

Harry chuckled and decided not to tell Draco about the Basilisk under the school. As they passed the hallway leading to the library, Harry suddenly turned away and dashed towards the other direction as his classmates. Draco had just turned towards Pansy, who was telling some kind of story about something that happened in the girl’s dorm last night that Harry was in no way interested in.

Like Harry had suspected, Hermione was already at the library to spend her own free hour surrounded by stuffy old books. Though the brunette had seemed interesting, being a very fun mix of brave, cocky, naive and smart, he could definitely do without the bookworm trait she possessed. Sighing, he approached. He’d put up with it until he figured out just how useful she’d be to him.

“Are you always studying?” he asked casually.

Hermione jumped in surprise and turned to face him, her brown eyes large until she noticed him and she narrowed her eyes at him, glaring upset.

“What?” he asked innocently.

“It was you who got class suspended, weren’t you?” she accused him immediately.

“Why would you think that?! How could you think that?!” Harry returned offended.  
“I’m your friend, Hermione! You should trust me and believe me when I say it’s not me.”

“Now I definitely know it was you,” the girl said smiling.

“Ah. I guess I can’t convince you of my innocence,” he sighed, plopping down on the chair next to Hermione’s stack of books.

“Yes, you probably could,” Hermione chuckled, picking up another old book.

“I could, but I don’t care enough to bother,” Harry agreed.

“Quinn!” Draco’s voice suddenly rung out.

Madam Pince, the librarian looked up with an annoyed glare aimed at the blond first year walking up at Harry and Hermione, but the boy ignored her and just glared at the other two kids, scowling deeply. Harry grinned and leaned back in the chair, ruffling through his purple and pink hair.

“Draco!” Harry greeted happily.  
“Miss me already? I know you love me, but don’t get too clingy.”

“I’m just here to make sure you don’t hang out with the wrong crowd, _Savior_.”

Harry rolled his eyes at the disdainful look Draco sent at Hermione.

“I see I’m too late already, since you’re looking up a mudblood,” he sneered.

“Mudblood, pureblood,” Harry muttered, pointing at Hermione and then at Draco.  
“And I’m a half-blood. So now we have a full set. What’s the fucking problem?”

“You may be a half-blood, but you come from a respectful line,” Draco said haughtily.  
“A first generation half-blood even, which means your blood isn’t yet too tainted. And your mum was a witch too. A mudblood, but still one step up from muggle.”

Harry scoffed and glanced to the side, noticing the fire in Hermione’s brown eyes. She looked about ready to explode. He’d let her too, but coming to her rescue would give him more brownie points…

“I’ve been wondering…” he started slowly, enjoying the dual frowns on his two friends’ faces.  
“If the child of two purebloods or a pureblood and a half-blood is considered a pureblood, and the child of two half-blood, a pureblood or half-blood with a muggleborn, or a pureblood or half-blood with a muggle is considered a half-blood, what do you call the child of two muggleborns or a muggle and a muggleborn? Are they muggleborns too, even though they aren’t technically born from two muggles? Or are they half-bloods too? Or do they not have any name, because I find it hard to believe that they don’t exist. I’d think muggleborns, with how they are looked down upon by wizarding society are often drawn to each other or back to their non-magical roots.”

Draco scowled in confusion and opened his mouth to reply, but Harry interrupted him by holding up his hand.

“Don’t bother answering that. I don’t really care anyway,” he said.  
“I don’t care much about blood. It’s all red and when you lose too much of it, you’re all just as dead.”

“Well, I’m just proud of my blood!” Draco said stubbornly, blushing a bit.  
“My family’s purity goes back at least twenty generations! The only family in Europe that’s possibly even purer are the Blacks, my mum’s family.”

“How do you know?” Harry asked curiously.  
“Have you tasted your blood? Does it taste differently than not pure blood?”

“What are you? A bloody vampire?” Draco asked incredulously.

“Won’t that be an interesting plot-twist?” Harry teased.  
“Well, I guess I should go back to the dungeons like a good bloodsucker. See you later Hermione!”

Waving cheerfully, Harry walked away, whistling especially loud to see Madam Pince glare hatefully at him while Draco rushed after him. The blonde caught up to him just outside of the library and glared at him in annoyance.

“You enjoy confusing and embarrassing me, don’t you Quinn?” he asked irritated.

“Now, where did you get that outrageous idea?!” Harry asked mockingly.

.              .              .               .              .

Classes eventually resumed again after lunch, and Harry skipped happily towards the Green Houses, eager to work with plants again. When they got their assignment and were told to work in groups of three, he was surprised to find all the Slytherins were fighting over who could go with him.

“People, people!” he called chuckling.  
“There’s enough of me to around.”

“No, there’s not!” Pansy said annoyed.  
“Groups of only three, remember! So only enough of you for two.”

“In that case, I’ll go with Daphne and Tracy,” Harry said smirking.

The two girls cheered and quickly joined him while the others all scowled and pouted. In the end, Draco was joined by Crabbe and Goyle, the last of whom was relatively good with plants as well, while Blaise went with Theo and a Ravenclaw boy and Millicent, Pansy and Haven worked together.

He had a lot of fun flirting with the two most beautiful girls in their year. He had to censor a lot of his words when he did, though, since he was only 11 years old and he should better keep the vocabulary of someone his age. Both in vulgarity and intellect. Spending time with both his dad and the Riddler had certainly bore fruit.

.              .              .               .              .

By the time dinner came rolling around, Harry was completely hyped up. He was literally jumping around, grinning like a maniac and couldn’t keep his mind by the class they currently had – which was History of Magic, so he was definitely not the only one with a concentration problem.

“I hope there’s candy!” he babbled excitedly.  
“I mean, it’s Halloween, so of course there will be candy! But I hope it’s _overflowing_ with candy! Candy plates, candy spoons, candy knives, no candy forks though, that would be hard to stab some- to stab into the food! Oh and candy drink, of course! Not just soda, but actual liquid candy! I wish we could have dressed up… Are we allowed to? Never mind. Next year, I’ll definitely dress up!”

“What’s up with you, Quinn?” Draco grouched annoyed.

“He loves Halloween, obviously,” Blaise drawled, smirking at the glare Draco send him.

“I noticed. But why?” he asked harshly.

“Because it’s the best!” Harry shouted.  
“Think of the sweets! The sugar rush! The cavities! Err… scratch that last. Think of the costumes!”

The other kids all rolled their eyes in exasperation. After two full months around Harry, they had all learned not to question him too much. It would only cause them headaches, because Harry never gave a straight answer. Harry just grinned and kept on babbling. Halloween was the one holiday he never skipped. He always went out Trick or Treating with Dick, Gabe, Bette and Barbara. The thought of his friends back home had him fall silent, though and he scowled. Would they be out Trick or Treating without him? Did they miss him like he missed them? He hoped so.

All sad thoughts were gone again once he walked into the Great Hall and saw all the decorations. A thousand live bats fluttered from the walls and ceiling while a thousand more swooped over the tables in low black clouds, making the candles in the pumpkins stutter. The feast appeared suddenly on the golden plates, as it had at the start-of-term banquet.

Harry cackled maniacally as he swooped down on the great assortments of sweets and pastries. He didn’t lose any time stacking up his most favorite treats together on a plate, making a large tower that reached over two feet.

He was just stacking up on some chocolate frogs when Professor Quirrel came sprinting into the Hall, his turban askew and terror on his face. Everyone stared as he reached Professor Dumbledore’s chair, slumped against the table.

“Troll… in the dungeons…. thought you ought to know,” he gasped out before fainting.

Harry watched impassively at the uproar this caused. All the students were panicking all around him, and he wished he had thought of setting a Troll free in the school as he ate some Bertie Botts. Up to now, he was very lucky with the flavors. Worst of them all had been carrots, but that wasn’t so bad either. He clapped and giggled childishly when Dumbledore let off some small fireworks with his wand to gain some attention and was a bit disappointed when the crowd calmed down.

“Prefects,” he Called out loudly  
“Lead your houses back to the dormitories immediately!”

“B-but our dormitories are on the dungeons,” Draco whispered, paling drastically.

Now, Harry started panicking as well, and he jumped up with a desperate cry, making everyone around him look over.

“We need to save the candy!” he yelled, starting to stuff his pockets with everything that was wrapped and stuffing his mouth with everything that wasn’t.

It took two of the older years to pull him away. Once they were outside the Great Hall, Harry was released from Flint and Pucey and was told to follow the other first years. Reluctantly, Harry did so. He walked next to Draco, who seemed about ready to faint in terror.

They soon reached the dungeons and the group started speeding up to get to their dorms a bit faster. Grinning, Harry grabbed his friend’s arm and pulled him away from the rest of their group. They quickly hid behind a corner, making sure no one saw them before Draco turned towards Harry with a glare.

“What are you doing?!” he hissed angrily.  
“Do you want to get us expelled, or worse, killed!”

“I thought you didn’t want to go to the dungeons?” Harry asked innocently.

“I do want to go to the safety of the common room!”

Harry chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, taking a step back to let Draco through.

“In that case, be my guest,” he said grinning.  
“You can run back while I’ll look for the troll myself.”

With that, he turned away and started walking the opposite direction as where their classmates had disappeared to. With an aggravated sigh, Draco rushed after them, his wand in hand as he glared at Harry in despise.

“I should just let you go off on your own and get yourself killed,” he muttered bitterly.

“But you don’t, because you love me~” Harry sang teasingly.

They had just turned the corner when they heard quick footsteps behind them. Draco quickly grabbed Harry’s sleeve and pulled him behind a large stone griffin. Both of them stayed completely still while they watched professor Snape striding past them. Harry frowned a bit in confusion.

“What’s he doing here instead of the dungeons with the other teachers?” he asked.

“Search me,” Draco muttered with a shrug.

Ignoring Draco’s reply, Harry slowly crept after Snape, curious to where he was going. When he realized just where the corridor the greasy potions master had disappeared into led, Harry cursed softly and turned back towards a thoroughly confused Draco.

“He’s going to the third floor!” Harry hissed angrily.  
“If he takes off with whatever that thing’s hiding before I can even find out what it is…”

Harry’s expression darkened and he started walking in the same direction Snape had gone. Draco paled when he noticed what Harry was planning and rushed after him, grabbing his arm almost forcefully.

“We’re not going after him!” he hissed angrily.  
“Seriously! Uncle Sev might be my godfather, but he won’t think twice about docking 50 points and write my father!”

Harry sighed and shrugged. He wanted to find out what the Cerberus was guarding, but at the same time, he also wanted to go check out the troll. With a sly smirk, he turned back towards Draco. The blond immediately let go of him and swallowed nervously when he saw the expression on Harry’s face.

“You choose then,” he said.  
“Snape and Cerberus, or Troll.”

“Troll,” Draco muttered reluctantly.

Harry gave a little cheer, dragging Draco to where he believed the troll had to be. They didn’t get far before they stopped again when they smelled something disgusting. It smelled like Killer Crock’s lair that one time Harry had snuck in because Jim had dared him. Harry still remembered the guy’s face when Harry jumped down into the sewers: white as snow, probably already imagining Joker, and especially Harley’s reactions when he told them he’d gotten their Prince killed.

Draco squeaked and hid, pulling Harry with him quickly as the troll came into sight. The creature was twelve feet tall, its skin was a dull, granite grey, its giant body shaped like a boulder with a small bald head perched on top. It had short legs thick as tree trunks with flat, horny feet. The smell coming from it was incredible. It was holding a huge wooden club, which dragged along the floor because its arms were so long. The sight made Harry want to giggle uncontrollably, but he put his hand over his mouth to stifle any sounds, because no matter how crazy he was, he preferred to live a bit longer.

The troll stopped next to a doorway and peered inside. It waggled its long ears, making up its tiny mind, then slouched slowly into the room. Harry jumped forward before Draco could stop him and rushed after the troll, peering into the room it had just gone into. To his surprise, it was the girl’s bathroom.

Just as Harry was about to leave again, having satiated his curiosity, he saw a familiar brunette come out of one of the stalls, sniffing upset. As she turned and found the troll staring at her, her eyes widened comically and she screamed. Sighing in annoyance – because there would be no way he could leave now – Harry grabbed his wand and moved inside, Draco right behind him.

Hermione was shrinking against the wall opposite, looking as if she was about to faint. The troll was advancing on her, knocking the sinks off the walls as it went. Frowning, Harry send a cutting hex at the creature, but it barely did anything against its thick hide. The only thing that changed was that the troll now turned and moved towards Harry instead of Hermione.

“Crap!” Harry cursed, digging in his pockets.

He found some toffee and threw it at the troll’s head. It stuck against the troll’s cheek, who picked it off, sniffed it and stuck it in his mouth. In the meantime, Harry had unpacked a chocolate frog and threw that towards the troll as well, who caught it in one hand and swallowed it down whole.

“Get Hermione out of here, I’ll keep him busy!” Harry called at Draco, who was still staring at the troll.

Draco looked at him, his silver grey eyes wide and fearful as he nodded and rushed past the troll to the brunette. Harry grabbed another two treats and threw them at the troll, who gladly caught and ate them. This gave Harry an idea, and he dug deeper in his pockets, grinning when he found a hand grenade in there. Good thing he kept guns and explosives in all his robes, just in case.

Watching Draco lead Hermione to safety with half an eye, Harry pulled out the pin of the grenade and put the explosive in the empty package of the chocolate frog he threw earlier. He quickly swung it at the creature, who eagerly caught it with his mouth this time and swallowed the whole thing down in one go. Harry grinned accomplished and ran out of the room, closing and locking the door behind him quickly. Draco and Hermione looked at him when, suddenly, a loud **BOOM** came from the bathrooms.

“Let’s go!” Harry said quickly, leading both of his friends away from the scene.

“What just happened?” Hermione wanted to know, her voice still shaky from the troll.

“Just a little trick I learned in the States to get rid of rats,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“I just magnified the whole thing to make it Troll-repellant instead.”

Hermione frowned, but she seemed to accept his explanation, albeit a bit reluctant. Draco looked around himself, still very nervous and he pulled Harry’s sleeve insistently.

“We should head back to the dorms,” he said.

“Alright! I guess we’ll see you later, Hermione!” Harry said cheerfully, patting the girl’s shoulder.  
“And next time you’re being bullied again, just come to me instead of locking yourself up, alright?”

Hermione seemed shocked at that, before she blushed and nodded in agreement. She gave Harry and Draco a quick hug before rushing off towards the Gryffindor common room. Harry chuckled a bit, seeing the disgusted look on Draco’s face from being touched like that by the brunette and started walking again.

“If my father finds out I saved a mudblood’s life, he’ll have me transferred to a different school,” he muttered.

“I heard Japan has a really good school,” Harry hummed, chuckling at the glare he received.  
“Then again, they have these special robes that change color once you used Dark Magic, and they immediately kick you out. That might not be a good place for the son of a Death Eater, right?”

“Ex-Death Eater,” Draco gritted out.

“Sure, whatever. Anyway, if I could chose, I’d say Durmstrang. Third in the world, and they actually teach you some minor Dark spells. Also, and I think this is a bonus for you, they don’t let in muggleborns.”

“I know. My parents considered sending me there instead for the longest time,” Draco snorted.

“Huh. My dad considered homeschooling me. But only in Dark Arts and Potions,” Harry said grinning.  
“In the end he decided I could use a full magical education. It does mean I have to learn all the muggle sciences over summer, which doesn’t really leave much time for fun.”

“Muggle sciences?” Draco asked, scowling in disgust.

Harry laughed at the expression. Draco was a typical pureblood, with the silly mindset that muggles were so far below them that there couldn’t possibly be anything they had that was equal, or, god forbid, better than what wizards had.

“Yeah! My dad for example schooled himself in Chemistry after he finished Hogwarts,” Harry said, because he couldn’t say ‘Graduated’, considering the Joker had been expelled in sixth year for hexing a teacher and killing her “on accident”.  
“My mom’s a psychiatrist, and my aunt a botanist. Uncle Eddie is a genius and teaches me computer sciences usually. Dad’s trying to get Freeze to teach me Physics and stuff, and Dent to teach me Law, though I’m not really sure what use that one’ll be…”

Draco scowled, but stayed quiet for a while after that as they calmly walked back to the dungeons. After a few minutes of quiet walking, he looked back up at Harry with a questioning expression.

“How did you know she was being bullied anyway?” he asked curiously.

“She’s an ugly duckling know-it-all with a bad heritage and while she’s supposed to be completely new to everything magical, she still shows everyone up with her smarts and talent. Of course she’s being bullied,” Harry replied, rolling his eyes.

And he could definitely use that to his advantage.

 


	23. Quidditch

Training had been boring as all hell. Flint had made it clear after Harry broke Lucian Bole’s arm during first practice that is he harmed his teammates, he’d be put on the Seeker position instead. Harry had grudgingly agreed to only hurt their opponents from then on.

So, when the first game against Gryffindor came on a windy November Saturday in the late morning, he was more than a little excited. He’d woken up extra early, done his morning gymnastics, like he tried to do as often as possible, went for a little run at the edge of the Forbidden Forrest – Alright… IN the Forbidden Forest. But no one had seen him, so it wasn’t a problem – and went flying for an hour or so before returning in time for breakfast.

“Hey Cecilia!” Harry called out as he walked into the Great Hall.

The Ravenclaw Head Girl turned to face him and smiled kindly in his direction. Harry could feel his heart beat faster when he looked in her eyes and grinned brightly.

“If I win the game today, will you go out with me?” he asked sweetly.

The girl laughed softly and shook her head, smiling blindingly bright at Harry.

“You are so incredibly adorable,” she said, patting the boy’s head.

With that, she turned away again and continued talking to a smirking 7th year boy. Harry scowled as he saw the amused look the boy send his way. That wouldn’t stand. He quickly plastered a happy expression back on his face and smiled widely at the older boy. With the way he paled, Harry could guess that he wasn’t so sweet and innocent looking anymore. Pleased, he walked towards the Slytherin table, where Draco, Blaise and Draco’s trolls were already waiting for him.

“Today is the day, Quinn,” Blaise said grinning.

“You better win today, Quinn,” Draco added with a glare.

“I can count the people that can beat me on one hand,” Harry laughed.  
“And they all live in Gotham, so I’m not worried. **_I’ll obliterate them all._** ”

The conversation died down when Draco and Blaise saw the sinister smirk. Crabbe and Goyle, who sat opposite from him, flanking Draco, both scowled in confusion. That was to be expected of course, as Harry didn’t really hang out with either of them. He wasn’t interested in them anyway. Too boring and stupid to be useful as more than muscle heads.

“Hey, Harry!” Daphne called out cheerfully, sitting down on his other side than where Blaise sat.

She was followed by Pansy, Tracy, Millicent and Haven. The girls were all smiling, and crowded around the boys quickly.

“Good luck in the game, Harry,” Tracy said smiling.  
“We’ll all be there cheering you and the rest of the team on.”

.              .              .               .              .

By eleven o'clock the whole school seemed to be out in the stands around the Quidditch pitch. Many students had binoculars. The seats might be raised high in the air, but it was still difficult to see what was going on sometimes.

Hermione and the Weasley Twins had stopped by earlier to wish Harry luck, much to Draco’s chagrin. He was still upset that even though Harry had told him to choose his friends, Harry had gone and befriended some Gryffindors none the less.

All Harry’s classmates all made their way up in the top row. As a surprise for Harry, the girls had painted a large banner, saying ‘HARRY QUINN FOR THE WIN’ and Tracy, who was very artistic had drawn a large green snake underneath, which Daphne had charmed to move around.

Meanwhile, in the locker room, Harry and the rest of the team were changing into their green Quidditch robes. Harry was having a conversation with Adrian Pucey and his new Beater Partner, Peregrine Derrick while former Beater, Lucian Bole was glaring at Harry, which only made Harry smile wider and laugh louder as he talked excitedly about how great it was he was now a Beater.

“Alright, everyone!” Flint called out.  
“We won against Gryffindor the past two years, and we’ll do it again this time!”

The whole team cheered loudly and grabbed for their brooms.

“Let’s go in there and show them who’s the greater House!” Flint called before striding away.

Harry scowled confused and gripped Pucey’s arm, looking at the third year chaser inquisitively.

“That’s it?” he asked a tad disappointed.  
“No, ‘This is it. This is what we’ve been waiting for’? Just let’s go?”

“Marcus isn’t a big fan of holding speeches,” Adrian chuckled.  
“He believes we all know what we should do and that we know how important it is to beat Gryffindor especially.”

“I agree, but it’s the perfect moment to be dramatic!” Harry cried out.  
“All the wasted opportunities! The useless blabber he could have sprouted without anyone questioning it!”

Adrian chuckled and shook his head as he led Harry out onto the field together with the rest of the team. They were greeted by loud cheers and catcalls, and Harry, for pretty much the first time in his life, felt overwhelmed. Though he had done a lot of things, standing in the middle of a large playing field with a 100+ people cheering him on wasn’t one of them.

Harry looked around, smiling and waving when he suddenly saw the banner his classmates had made and something odd happened in his chest. Never before had he been well-liked by his peers, even when he behaved as normal as he could. The kids in Gotham Elementary, with the exception of Dick, Gabe, Bette and Barbara had been terrified of him, and technically, so was Gabe, even if he still was a friend.

Madam Hooch was refereeing. She stood in the middle of the field waiting for the two teams, her broom in her hand.

"Now, I want a nice fair game, all of you," she said, once they were all gathered around her.

Harry noticed that she seemed to be speaking particularly to Flint, who made a face in annoyance but didn’t react otherwise. Harry smirked and tightened his hold on his bat. As long as Hooch focused on Flint, Harry might just have an opening or two to get in some illegal hits. Maybe even smash one of the Gryffs directly off his broom without using a Bludger.

“Mount your brooms, please!” Madam Hooch said.

Harry stepped on his Lightningstrike and waited tensely for Madam Hooch to blow her whistle loudly. Once she did, Harry kicked off and flew straight into the air at incredible speed. The 13 other players and the referee following after him.

"And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor -- what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too-"

"JORDAN!"

"Sorry, Professor."

The Weasley twins' friend, Lee Jordan, was doing the commentary for the match, closely watched by Professor McGonagall. Harry looked over to the dreadlocked kid in the bleachers and grinned. He had to agree with the comment though. Angelina Johnson was indeed pretty attractive, but not as attractive as Cecilia Carp, the Ravenclaw Head Girl… Harry shook himself awake before he could start daydreaming and he quickly flew down into the action. No way he was just going to sit by and watch.

"And she's really belting along up there, a neat pass to Alicia Spinnet, a good find of Oliver Wood's, last year only a reserve – back to Johnson and -- no, the Slytherins have taken the Quaffle, Slytherin Captain Marcus Flint gains the Quaffle and off he goes – Flint flying like an eagle up there – he's going to sc- no, stopped by an excellent move by Gryffindor Keeper Wood and the Gryffindors take the Quaffle – that's Chaser Katie Bell of Gryffindor there, nice dive around Flint, off up the field and-”

Having heard and seen enough, Harry dived forward and hit a Bludger as hard as he could in the direction of Bell. It hit her in the back of her head, and Harry couldn’t help but grin in accomplishment when he saw the girl drop the Quaffle and sway on her broom. She was about to fall off… Spinnet got in the way though and helped Bell back on the broom.

“-OUCH – that must have hurt, hit in the back of the head by a Bludger – Quaffle taken by the Slytherins – that's Adrian Pucey speeding off toward the goal posts, but he's blocked by a second Bludger – sent his way by Fred or George Weasley, can't tell which – nice play by the Gryffindor Beater anyway, and Johnson back in possession of the Quaffle, a clear field ahead and off she goes-”

Gritting his teeth, Harry quickly stopped a Bludger from hitting Flint and smashed it in Johnson’s direction. The girl saw it coming, however and ducked under it, making Harry curse softly. This wouldn’t be over until someone had a broken bone Harry promised himself as he sped back towards the action.

“-She's really flying – dodges a speeding Bludger – the goal posts are ahead – come on, now, Angelina – Keeper Bletchley dives – misses – GRYFFINDORS SCORE!"

Gryffindor cheers filled the cold air, with howls and moans from the Slytherins. Flint flew over to where Harry was with a deep scowl marring his face.

“Get Wood away and we can finish this thing. Keep an eye on those Beaters,” he ordered.

Harry nodded. A feral grin spreading on his face in excitement. Flint and he had a deal that Harry could take out any player from the other team as long as he made sure not to get caught cheating. That was no problem. Harry had had enough practice to make sure they wouldn’t be able to see what he’d done.

"Slytherin in possession," Lee Jordan was saying.  
"Chaser Pucey ducks two Bludgers, two Weasleys, and Chaser Bell, and speeds toward the – wait a moment – was that the Snitch?"

A murmur ran through the crowd as Adrian Pucey dropped the Quaffle, too busy looking over his shoulder at the flash of gold that had passed his left ear. This was Harry’s chance, he first flew down to the Quaffle, just as Bell was trying to get it and used his bat to hit the leather ball in Flint’s hands, enjoying the loud crack of breaking bones as he hit Bell’s hand along with it. The girl hissed in pain and glared at Harry, but the boy was gone already, and just as Flint was about to shoot the Quaffle, Harry got his hands on a Bludger and smashed it in Wood’s direction.

From where he was, he could clearly see Wood’s arm bend in a way it shouldn’t, and he grinned satisfied. Two broken bones in one game was a good start. The Quaffle made its way through the middle hoop just as the two Seekers, Terrence Higgs and some 2nd year Gryffindor, flew past, chasing the Snitch.

“Potter – I’m sorry, Quinzel injured Wood with a Bludger. The disgusting act-”

“JORDAN!”

“Sorry Professor, the _barely legal_ act probably put the Gryffindor Keeper out of the game, but all isn’t lost yet for the Gryffindors! The new Seeker, Carl Hopkins, is getting ahead of Higgs! Will he catch the Snitch?! If so, Gryffindor will win!”

Flint growled low in his throat and flew over to where the Seekers were chasing each other and the small golden ball. Harry’s fingers itched to catch the little thing and pluck its wings. Would it feel anything? The damn thing looked like it had a mind of its own the way it flitted around.

A roar of rage echoed from the Gryffindors below – Marcus Flint had blocked Hopkins on purpose, and the kid’s broom spun off course, Hopkins holding on for dear life.

"Foul!" the Gryffindors screamed.

Madam Hooch spoke angrily to Flint and then ordered a free shot at the goal posts for Gryffindor. But in all the confusion, of course, the Golden Snitch had disappeared from sight again. Harry grinned and made a few silly stunts on his broom while half of the crowd continued to boo at Flint.

"So – after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-” Jordan started from the stands.

"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.

"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-”

“Jordan, I'm warning you-"

"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor, taken by Spinner, who puts it away, no trouble, and we continue play, Gryffindor still in possession."

Harry moved forward and grabbed his bat tight. He loved the feeling of it in his palm. The form and heaviness reminded him of his juggling pins. The game was still going, with Johnson now speeding towards the Slytherin goals with the Quaffle and the three Slytherin Chasers in her tail. Bell was pretty much out of the game, since her right hand was completely useless now anyway, but Spinnet was flying side by side with Johnson, trying to support the other Chaser.

It was as Harry hit another Bludger, which went spinning dangerously past Johnson’s head, that it happened. His broom gave a sudden, frightening lurch. For a split second, he thought he was going to fall. He gripped the broom tightly with both his hands and knees. His broom was meant to be the best in the world, so it wasn’t normal that it would start to act like this. Old crappy brooms, sure, but not a Lightningstrike. The damn thing was completely out of control for some weird reason. He couldn't direct it at all. It was zigzagging through the air, and every now and then making violent swishing movements that almost unseated him.

"Slytherin in possession – Flint with the Quaffle – passes Spinnet – passes Bell – hit hard in the face by a Bludger, hope it broke his nose – only joking, Professor – Slytherins score – A no...”

The Slytherins were cheering. No one seemed to have noticed that Harry's broom was behaving strangely. It was carrying him slowly higher, away from the game, jerking and twitching as it went. Harry cursed loudly, and finally, people seemed to notice something was off. Flint came flying up to him, looking at him confused.

“What the hell is going on with your broom, Quinzel!” Flint asked.

“It doesn’t like his make-over!” Harry called back annoyed.  
“I think it preferred to be pink – how the fuck should I know what’s happening!?”

When the broom gave another rough jerk, Harry had enough of it and he jumped. People in the stands screamed in horror, but Harry knew exactly what he was doing and he landed safely on Flint’s broom, right behind him. he wrapped one arm around the older teen’s waist and grinned.

“Even on the broom of a Chaser, I still count as a Beater, right?” Harry asked teasingly.

“As long as you don’t hit me,” Flint grumbled.

They took off towards the Quaffle, which was now in the possession of Spinnet, until Derrick hit her arm with a Bludger. Harry squealed happily as Flint dove for the Quaffle, getting there at the same time as Johnson. Harry laughed and swung his bat, hitting the Gryffindor Chaser in the face. Blood gushed down her face as she descended slowly, her hand pressed against her broken nose.

“And Quinzel hits Johnson in the face straight with his bat! That has to be a foul if I ever saw one!” Jordan announced angrily.

Indeed, Madam Hooch blew her whistle and she flew up to Flint and Harry, scowling angrily.

“I couldn’t help it! I lost my balance!” Harry defended himself, making sure he looked apologetic enough.

Hooch seemed to believe him, but she still gave Gryffindor a penalty. Since Spinnet was the only Chaser left on the field, she was the one to do it, but she was obviously shaken up from all the violence that had been happening around her that she missed the goal by half a mile. The Slytherins on the bleachers jeered and called gleefully as Bole got his hands on the Quaffle and flew over to the empty Gryffindor goal. The Weasley twins did their best to stop him, but Flint had taken to just let Harry be Beater, instead of trying to play himself and he and Derrick could hold the Bludgers off just fine. Thanks to that, they easily scored a total of 12 times, much to the dislike of Jordan and the other Gryffindors.

At one point, Derrick was even able to hit Hopkins in the side with a Bludger, and the boy skidded on the field with a shout. Not even a minute later, Higgs finally caught the Snitch. The Slytherins all cheered loudly while the Gryffindors howled in anger about the unfair game. Harry just threw both hands in the air and cheered loud enough to make Flint stick his fingers in his ears.

Once they touched down, Harry rushed over to his own broom and looked it over. Still in one piece and just a few scratches. Pucey was the first to approach him, looking worried.

“You alright, Harry?” he asked.

“Yeah. Fine,” the boy replied shrugging.

“How’d it happen anyway?” Higgs asked confused as he and Flint joined them.

Harry’s expression became hard as he thought about it.

“Only very dark magic can do something like this,” he gritted out.  
“Someone wants me to make a nosedive, and that someone is a teacher.”

.              .              .               .              .

An hour later, Harry was found in Hagrid’s hut along with Draco, who was once again trying to escape the excited boar hound’s tongue. The giant was just pouring them each a cup of tea when there was knocking on the door and Hermione stepped in, followed by a reluctant Ron. When the redhead and the blonde met each other’s eyes, they both scowled deeply.

“What are you doing here, Weasley?” Draco hissed.

“I was just about to ask you that, Malfoy,” Ron shot back.

Hermione ignored them both and rushed over to Harry, hugging the purple haired boy tightly.

“That was terrifying! Are you alright?” she cried out.

“A bit shaken up, but other than that, I’m ok,” Harry lied.

The whole thing had done nothing but make him more excited about Quidditch and Hogwarts in general. Here he was, worried this place would kill him with boredom, and then someone attempted to actually kill him! He hadn’t felt this great since Robin tried to beat him to dead.

“Do you know what exactly happened?” Hermione asked, and the glint in her eyes told Harry she knew something.

“It had to have been Dark Magic. That’s all I know,” Harry shrugged.  
“I just don’t understand why anyone would want me dead is all…”

He could think of a lot of people, but none of them knew he was here, and the wizards that wanted him dead shouldn’t be able to get to him in Hogwarts. It was supposed to be the safest place in Wizarding Britain after all.

"It was Snape," Ron explained, eyeing Draco distrustfully.  
"Hermione and I saw him. He was cursing your broomstick, muttering, he wouldn't take his eyes off you."

"Rubbish," Hagrid said frowning.  
"Why would Snape do somethin' like that?"

“Uncle Severus would never harm a student!” Draco argued at the same time.

“Whoever it was, I bet they’re also after whatever the three headed dog is guarding,” Harry said as he stared intensely at Hagrid.

Hermione, Ron and Draco all tensed, eyes widening in shock that Harry would bring that up now. Harry ignored them in favor of smirking when he noticed he guessed right and Hagrid dropped his teapot. Looked like he really did know something about the dog.

"How do you know about Fluffy?" he asked.

"Fluffy?” Ron asked horrified.

“It’s a good name. He looks cuddly,” Harry snickered, enjoying the way Ron stared at him as if he was insane.

He was, but Ron didn’t technically know that yet. He could suspect, but Harry hadn’t done anything too bad yet to really make anyone sure.

"Yeah, he's mine – bought him off a Greek chappie I met in the pub las' year. I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the-…”

"Yes?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Now, don't ask me anymore," said Hagrid gruffly.  
"That's top secret, that is."

"But Snape's trying to steal it!" Ron argued loudly.

"Rubbish," Hagrid said again.  
"Snape's a Hogwarts teacher, he'd do nothin' of the sort."

“Exactly!” Draco agreed.

"So why did he just try and kill Harry?" Hermione cried out frustrated.

“He didn’t!” Draco shot back.  
“Whatever you saw, you saw it wrong!”

Harry just grinned and watched his friends argue with each other. It was pretty amusing, and a bit flattering too, since they were all fighting because of him.

“I know a jinx when I see one! I've read all about them! You've got to keep eye contact, and Snape wasn't blinking at all, I saw him!" Hermione shot back heated.

"I'm tellin' yeh, yer wrong!" Hagrid said hotly.  
"I don' know why Harry's broom acted like that, but Snape wouldn' try an' kill a student! Now, listen to me, all of yeh -- yer meddlin' in things that don' concern yeh. It's dangerous. You forget that dog, an' you forget what it's guardin', that's between Professor Dumbledore an' Nicolas Flamel-"

"Aha!" Harry shouted in victory.  
“So Nicolas Flamel is involved!"

Hagrid looked furious with himself and quickly ushered the whole group out. Hermione and Ron quickly said their goodbyes as well as they went back to the Gryffindor Tower while Harry and Draco slowly made their way back to the dungeons.

“Nicolas Flamel… I know that name,” Harry mused, still grinning widely.

“Same here. I just can’t place it…” Draco muttered scowling.  
“He must be someone important if Dumbledore is hiding something for him.”

Harry nodded in agreement. They’d figure it out at one point, he just knew it.

“I’m taking a shower,” Draco grumbled as they entered the common room.  
“That bloody dog slobbered me under again.”

Harry laughed amused at that and walked into their dorm. He quickly swapped his clothes for his clown boxers and a superman shirt (for ironic purposes, of course) and crawled into bed. Smiling, he grabbed his notebook and a pen as he thought about what he wanted to say to his dad. He could ask about Nicolas Flamel, but Joker would just tell him to figure it out. His dad hated it when he needed help with anything. Always had.

_[My broom tried to kill me.]_

He laid his notebook on his lap and scowled at it while he waited for a reply. It took a little while, but eventually, the pages lit up softly.

_[It wasn’t me, I swear.]_

Harry chuckled at his dad’s answer and clicked his pen a few times. Those damn quills they made them use during classes were way too much of a bother to him anyway.

_[I know. Apparently one of my teachers tried to kill me because I’m supposed to be the big hero and he’s rooting for old Voldy.]_

_[You kill him yet?]_

_[Voldy or the teacher?]_

_[The teacher.]_

_[Nope. I can’t really do that here. Besides, Draco claims he’s not even on Voldy’s side anymore and that Hermione got the wrong guy.]_

_[Don’t know who those people are, don’t want to know either. Did you kill my snaky brother then?]_

_[When I was one, apparently. But not lately, no.]_

It took a little moment after that before Harry got another message, and when he did, he had to chuckle softly in amusement.

_[Young man. I am very disappointed in you. Now get off your lazy ass and kill something! Don’t you dare write me again until you do, do you hear me?]_

_[I don’t. I can only hear a letter if it’s a Howler.]_

He didn’t get any reply back at all after that. Shaking his head in amusement, Harry put the notebook down and rested his head on the fluffy pillows. Tomorrow was another day to uncover the mysteries of Nicolas Flamel.

 


	24. The Mirror of Erised

One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. Harry walked into the Great Hall about 8.10, which was unusually late, even for him. His hair was still dripping wet from a shower and he was once again grinning like a maniac. Draco scowled annoyed as the purple haired boy plopped down on the seat between him and Blaise and started piling scrambled eggs and bacon on his plate.

“How the heck are you always the first out of bed and the last at the table?” the blonde hissed annoyed.

“Because I always go on my morning run first and I’ve been raised too properly to come down here all sweaty and smelly,” Harry deadpanned.

“I sincerely doubt your upbringing was in any way ‘proper’, Quinn,” Draco shot back, rolling his eyes.

“You’re extra late today though,” Blaise noted calmly.

“That’s because I ran into Hagrid!” Harry replied grinning.  
“We had a nice chat about his dog, Fluffy. You guys should meet him, he’s such a cute big ball of fur!”

Draco, who clearly remembered Harry telling him about Fluffy before pulled up his nose and shook his head.

“I value my life, Quinn,” he said, making Blaise raise a brow in confusion.

Harry just laughed it off and gave the two boys a conspiring grin, making them both lean closer.

“I also got an early Christmas present,” Harry told them whispering.  
“From an anonymous source. The note said it belonged to my dad – my birth one.”

“And what is it?” Blaise asked curiously.

“An invisibility cloak,” Harry replied smugly.  
“Imagine what I can do with it! The pranks, the perverted-”

Suddenly, a familiar black owl flew inside. Everyone stopped what they were doing as it swooped down over the Slytherin table and sat down on Harry’s armrest, staring with bright purple eyes – his dad absolutely loved those kind of potions – at Harry as he waited for the young Prince of Clowns to take the letter from him.

“Quinn…” Draco muttered, looking even more pale than usual.

He was staring down on the blood red envelope, making Harry chuckle. It was absolutely his own fault for baiting his dad, but he wasn’t upset. On the contrary, this would be hilarious, he could already tell.

 _“HADRIAN FUCKING JACK QUINZEL!”_ his dad’s voice rung out loudly, making a few students chuckle at Harry’s expected misery.  
_“I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED BETTER OF YOU, BEATEN BY A FUCKING BROOM! YOU BETTER TELL ME YOU BROKE THE NECK OF WHOEVER DID THIS, OR I’M PERSONALLY GOING TO COME BY AND RIP THEM LIMB FROM LIMB TO SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE! NO SON OF MINE WILL GO AROUND AND NOT MAIM THEIR ATTACKER YOU HEAR ME?! KILL THE FUCKING BASTARD! Can’t wait to have you back home this Christmas kiddo. **We’ll be having a lot of fun.** ”_

The ones that had earlier taken pleasure in seeing Harry had received a Howler were now the ones who looked the most horrified. Almost every single face was turned to him, pale as ghosts while Harry softly snickered, his eyes still trained on the ripped up remains of the letter. Suddenly, the Weasley twins over at the Gryffindor table howled out in laughter and soon some others joined in. It was quickly decided that the letter was just another one of Harry’s pranks.

“Bloody hell Quinn,” Draco muttered scowling.

“Looks like your dad is just as much as a prankster as you,” Blaise noted smirking.

“Oh, he definitely is!” Harry laughed, his grin stretching to become something sharp and predatory.  
“ ** _But he wasn’t joking this time._** ”

Both boys stared at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths, all color drained from their faces.

.              .              .               .              .

The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrel around, bouncing off the back of his turban. Harry himself took to the same joke as they did, but with pebbles in the snowballs and he charmed them to attack anyone who ventured out. This ended with a lot of students covered in bruises and everyone being too scared to go out anymore. The funniest part was probably that Fred and George ended up with detention for _Harry’s_ prank.

But classes were less fun, since the whole castle was so drafty, they had to be wearing warm clothes even indoors, and while the Slytherin common room was pretty cozy thanks to the roaring fires, the rest of the dungeons were freezing. Which is why Harry was tinkering with the magical fire burning under his cauldron when they were having Potions.

"I do feel so sorry," Draco said suddenly  
"For all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they're not wanted at home."

He was looking over at Ron as he spoke. Crabbe and Goyle chuckled. Harry, who was still trying to figure out a way to make it warmer, ignored them. Draco had been even more unbearable to the Gryffindors since the Quidditch game, too proud that Slytherin had won. Harry still thought the blonde didn’t have any reason to be like that, since he wasn’t even on the team.

Frowning, Harry shook his head and went to work again. He was pretty sure he’d learned how to make a small fire hot enough to turn the classroom into a baking oven, but his dad’s Alchemy lessons were all so vague and that’s where he’d been shown… how… to….

“Alchemy!” he exclaimed happily.

Everyone stared at him as if he was insane, making Harry only cackle amused as he grabbed some powdered dragon bones and threw it on the flames of his tiny fire.

Only two minutes later, the first year Slytherins entered their common room, coughing and covered in sooth. Harry was chuckling uncontrollable between coughing fits and grinned down at his detention slip. Since the vacation started in another day, it was for after New Year. Which Harry was totally ok with. He’d been spending nearly all his evenings cleaning cauldrons and writing lines since September, so he really couldn’t wait to get home. He wasn’t going to touch a pen in two weeks!

“What the hell was that about, Quinn?!” Draco shouted angrily.

Harry just grinned and grabbed Draco’s hand, pulling him along towards their dorm. When he arrived there, he quickly let go of Draco and cast a locking charm on the door. He could see Draco pale from the corner of his eye, but ignored his scared friend in favor of rummaging through his trunk.

“AHA!” he shouted victoriously, showing Draco the cover of his Alchemy for Dummies book.

Draco scowled in confusion and opened his mouth to ask about it when it hit him. his silvery grey eyes widened in shock and he stared at Harry with open mouth.

“The Sorcerer’s Stone,” Draco whispered awed.

Harry grinned and nodded his head.

“And who do we know that wants to live forever?”

.              .              .               .              .

“Her-mi-o-ne~!” Harry sang as he skipped over to the Gryffindor table.

It was time for dinner, and the Great Hall was already turned into a magical winter wonder land. Festoons of holly and mistletoe hung all around the walls, and no less than twelve towering Christmas trees stood around the room, some sparkling with tiny icicles, some glittering with hundreds of candles. Harry had to admit it was very spectacular.

“Don’t talk to me, I’m angry at you,” Hermione told him, not even looking up from the old tome she was reading.

Harry scowled and sat down on top of her empty plate, ignoring the grumbled complains of the other Gryffindors as he shoved the food away. Hermione was still not looking at him though, which caused Harry to pout childishly.

“I just got distracted when I was trying to heat the room a bit,” he explained, grabbing Hermione’s book.  
“-Hey! I’m trying to apologize here! Get your nose out of that stuffy old book.”

Hermione glared at him and took the book back, cradling it protectively against her chest as she stared angrily at him.

“That ‘stuffy old book’ is for research,” she told him sternly, leaning closer in a conspiratory manner.  
“You know, about the Hagrid thing. I’m shocked you haven’t tried to find out who Nicolas Flamel is… Have you even been in the library this past week?”

“I haven’t been in the library since September,” Harry replied blankly.  
“But speaking about Flamel. That was actually what distracted me during class.”

This had Hermione finally perk up and she leaned closer, looking up curiously at Harry, who grinned and cupped Hermione’s ear before leaning in closer.

“What do you know of the Sorcerer’s Stone?” he whispered.

The brunette’s eyes widened in shock and she jerked back, mouth agape.

“How could I have forgotten?!” Hermione gasped.

“How could _I_?!” Harry lamented mockingly.  
“My dad’s been trying to teach me Alchemy for the past couple of years, but I always forget the important stuff… like how you shouldn’t suddenly heat powdered dragon bones because of their explosive properties.”

.              .              .               .              .

“Alright gang! After the break, we’re up against Hufflepuff!” Flint said.  
“Their Keeper is shit and the Chasers are mediocre. Hell, even their Beaters are useless! But their seeker, Diggory’s got talent, and he’s the one that’s been saving their arses the past two years.”

Harry scowled and looked down at his bat. What fun would it be if this Diggory was the only good player in the team? Taking him out would be boring, because then they only had bad players, and taking the bad ones out was boring too…

“I wanna be a Seeker then!” he announced.

“You agreed to being a Beater, Quinn,” Higgs hissed annoyed.  
“You can’t just switch whenever you feel like it.”

“Higgs is right,” Flint spoke up scowling.  
“Why would you want to bloody switch _now_?!”

“You think I’m doing this to help you guys win some stupid cup?” Harry scoffed, smirking evilly at the shocked expressions he received.  
“I play for the thrill of a challenge. We can win easy like this, obviously. All I have to do is smack a Bludger into Diggory and Higgs can get the Snitch, but what’s the fun in that? I want to play against him. Race the guy and actually have to _try_. Besides, I’m a better Seeker than Higgs anyway, so better chances.”

“Unless you hit Diggory in the face with a Bludger, like you just said,” Derrick reminded him.

“But I won’t,” Harry replied, a dark, grotesque grin stretching his lips.  
“If I don’t get to play as a Seeker I’ll be the worst Beater ever. You know you can’t say no. I’m your best player, and a fucking celebrity. You need me.”

The entire team bristled angrily at that, but Flint just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Fine,” the team Captain agreed reluctantly.  
“Quinn is the Seeker, Higgs, you’re our third Chaser and Bole is back to being Beater.”

Harry cheered loudly and made a little dance while the rest of the team glared at him.

.              .              .               .              .

That night, Harry decided to go and test out his new cloak. Maybe he’d go to the Restricted Section of the library! Or visit Fluffy! Or even better! Visit the Chamber of Secrets.

Grinning in excitement over all the fun things he could do in the middle of the night with a cool invisibility cloak, he donned it and snuck out of the room. _‘Use it well’_ the note had said, and Harry had to muffle a chuckle as he thought back at it. Everyone who even remotely knew him would know to never give him something like this because it would be _very_ well used.

The library was pitch-black and very eerie. Harry used a lumos, which his dad had taught him, to see his way along the rows of books.

The Restricted Section was right at the back of the library. Stepping carefully over the rope that separated these books from the rest of the library, he held up his wand to read the titles. They didn't tell him much. Their peeling, faded gold letters spelled words in languages Harry couldn't understand. Some had no title at all.

One book had a dark stain on it that looked horribly like blood. The hairs on the back of Harry's neck prickled. Maybe he was imagining it, maybe not, but he thought a faint whispering was coming from the books, as though they knew someone was there who shouldn't be.

A large black and silver volume caught his eye. He pulled it out with difficulty, because it was very heavy, and, balancing it on his knee, let it fall open.

A piercing, bloodcurdling shriek split the silence – the book was screaming! Harry snapped it shut, but the shriek went on and on, one high, unbroken, earsplitting note. He stumbled backward and fell over his own clumsy feet. Panicking, he heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside – stuffing the shrieking book back on the shelf – and grabbing the one with the bloodstain on to hide it under his clothes – he ran for it. He passed Filch in the doorway. Filch's pale, wild eyes looked straight through him, and Harry slipped under Filch's outstretched arm and streaked off up the corridor, the book's shrieks still ringing in his ears.

Where he ended up, Harry wasn’t entirely sure. He’d never seen the room before, but he was pretty sure it must have been near the kitchens, since that was the last place he’d recognized when making a run for it through the hidden passages. He could hear Filch wheezing outside as he walked somewhere else, muttering something about warning Snape.

The room looked like an unused classroom. The dark shapes of desks and chairs were piled against the walls, and there was an upturned wastepaper basket – but propped against the wall facing him was something that didn't look as if it belonged there, something that looked as if someone had just put it there to keep it out of the way.

It was a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. There was an inscription carved around the top: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. Harry cocked his head and scowled. That was no language he’d ever heard or read about…

Harry moved nearer to the mirror, wanting to look at himself but see no reflection again. He stepped in front of it. He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when the book had screamed. That wasn’t the room, and not just him either! How the hell did that happen?!

There, in the mirror, Harry saw himself, in his Child's Play persona. By his side were his parents. Not his blood parents mind you, but Harley and Joker. Joker was grinning down at him very proudly, and Harley too was smiling bright and genuine. Batman's head was on a stake to the side, and Dick Grayson stood next to it, unflinching. Draco was there too, looking all of the proud pureblood son he was, but with a happy grin and a shine in his silver eyes Harry had yet to ever see in them. Furthermore, there were aunt Ivy, uncle Eddie, Hermione, Blaise, all looking equally happy, and in the background, Harry could see both Gotham and Hogwarts, burning.

It sounded awful to anyone else, he supposed, but to Harry, seeing his family so happy and together, it was perfect. Gotham would burn for him and Joker, the corruption laid bare like they both strove to achieve and Hogwarts would meet the same fate, Harry would make sure of that.

"My beautiful paradise," he whispered wistfully as he touched the smooth glass.

So that was what it was then? His deepest, strongest desire. Erised… frowning again, Harry looked up and decided to read the words differently, in the opposite direction.

“I show not your face, but your heart’s desire,” he mumbled, reading it out loud.

“Very smart boy, Harry,” an old, familiar voice spoke up.

Harry felt as though his insides had turned to ice. He looked behind him. Sitting on one of the desks by the wall was none other than Albus Dumbledore. How the heck had that old coot avoided Harry’s notice?! Harry was almost as paranoid as his dad was. Nothing snuck past him.

"… I didn't see you, sir."

"Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you," Dumbledore said smiling.

_Or you’re just a sneaky motherfucker._

"So," Dumbledore started, slipping off the desk to stand in front of the mirror next to Harry.  
"You, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised."

“Very delightful, sir,” Harry agreed pleasantly.

“If you don’t mind me asking, My Boy, but what do you see?”

Harry kept his expression neutral as he looked from Dumbledore to the mirror. The damn fool annoyed him even more than Batman ever had, with his twinkling eyes and grandfatherly habits. Like Harry gave two shits about what the old coot thought of him… Still, he had to be careful. Being found out too soon would end up catastrophic after all.

“I-I see…” Harry started hesitantly, looking away with a small blush.  
“I see a lady. She’s standing right behind me and she’s smiling. She has red hair and bright green eyes like mine. Next to her, there’s a man, with the same messy black hair as me… you know, before I dyed it…”

He really hoped he’d gotten it right. He still remembered the lady in his dreams and how she kind of looked like his aunt Ivy, and ever since he entered the Wizarding world, people kept telling him he looked exactly like his dad, but with his mother’s eyes. With the way Dumbledore smiled sadly at him, he knew he had guessed right.

“Lily and James Potter,” the man murmured.

Harry made a show to furrow his brow in confusion and ball his fists.

“But why them?” he asked in a soft whisper.  
“I love my adoptive parents! They take good care of me! Why should I miss my real parents, even though I never really knew them?!”

He really didn’t know why that would be the case, but he was sure Dumbledore would expect of him to want to see his birth family, so that was what he gave the old man.

“The heart is a fickle thing, My Boy,” Dumbledore started, smiling gently at Harry.  
“But if there is one thing it will never be without, it is Love. You can love both your real parents and your adoptive parents without undoing your feelings towards the others.”

Harry nodded and smiled. _Keep thinking that, old fool_.

.              .              .               .              .

“It’s weekend. What in Salazar’s name are you doing, Quinzel?” Draco grumbled as he got up out of bed.

It was still early in the morning, and most of the others were still sleeping. Aside from Harry apparently. The Purple haired boy grinned from his upside down position. He’d bent himself over entirely, planning his hands behind his feet firmly on the ground. At seeing Draco’s glare, the boy chuckled and kicked upwards, ending in a hand stand before falling forward and standing back on his feet in a fluent motion.

“Morning gymnastics!” he explained cheerfully.  
“Wanna keep my body fit if I want to take over my dad’s business one day.”

“And what is that business exactly?” Draco wanted to know, still glaring at his semi-friend.

“ ** _Entertainer_** ,” Harry chuckled darkly.

Draco felt an involuntary shiver run down his spine at Harry’s tone. Something told him he didn’t want to know what kind of ‘entertainer’ Harry meant by that.

 


	25. Winter Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! I'm seriously on a roll with this story! (I wrote several chapters in one day)  
> So for the foreseeable future, I'll be updating two or three times a week again until I'm out of chapters again, and then I'll go back to once a week! (or not at all if I can't write anymore, that has happened before with some of my other stories)
> 
> Also, I tried counting out everything I have planned for this story, and I ended up with approximately 155 chapters. Obviously, it's just a first guess. A lot could happen before I get that far, and I'm only at 30 right now, but I can already tell that this will be a long ride.

Draco had watched Harry leave again for his ‘morning’ practices before he went to the bathroom to wash himself. Today, they would leave again for Yule Break, so they had to be ready by 11 o’clock. He and the others stayed in the dorm for a while longer to pack their trunks and Draco was honestly surprised to find Harry’s already done while he had gone to sleep in a pigsty.

Had Quinn even slept at all or had he stayed up all night do whatever it was freaks did when everyone had gone to sleep? Draco was a bit afraid of the answer. Better he didn’t know what Quinn was up to.

“Can we go already, Draco?” Crabbe whined.  
“I’m bloody _starving_. Let’s go get breakfast already.”

Goyle was looking at him hopefully as well, making Blaise snort amused and elbow Theo Nott, who just rolled his eyes and packed another three books in his trunk. Sometimes, Draco wondered how Theo had gotten into Slytherin when he so obviously belonged in Ravenclaw.

“Fine, let’s go. Otherwise Quinn will be there before us.”

As they walked to the Great Hall, it was one of the rare occasions where Crabbe and Goyle walked ahead of Draco instead of behind him. He didn’t particularly care though. Their parents worked for his dad, and they had been told to take care of him properly, but Draco didn’t feel much friendship between them. They were basically what Quinn always called them: bodyguards.

To their surprise, the entrance to the Great Hall was being blocked by a large crowd of students who were all just staring up towards the ceiling. Using their elbows and knees, Crabbe and Goyle forced the students to make way, so Draco, Blaise and Theo could pass through.

“You’ve got to be joking!” Blaise exclaimed, staring up with a shocked expression.

Scowling, Draco looked up as well, eyes widening when he saw what everyone was staring at.

“What the-… Quinn!” he shouted.

Harry finished his cartwheel and planted both his feet back on the one inch thick wire so he could wave cheerfully at Draco. He was wearing the most ridiculous looking poisonous green tights and an orange sweatband to keep his messy purple hair out of his eyes.

Harry had, apparently, hung up a rope going from one side of the Great Hall to the other, some 10 feet off the ground. And now, he was doing tricks like some circus artist.

“Hey, Drake! How are you?!” Harry greeted loudly while he pulled his right foot over his shoulder.  
“Just doing some stretches, that’s all! Told you I was trying to keep in shape, right? Quidditch is fun and all, but it’s not as good a workout as this.”

Draco rolled his eyes in annoyance and stalked over to the Slytherin table while muttering explicits meant for his crazy friend under his breath. 10 feet above him, Harry laughed loudly and did a backwards handstand and a summersault, making several kids scream in fear that he would fall.

“Don’t worry, I’m a professional!” Harry laughed, doing it again.

This time, he almost lost his balance. Tracy Davis, who was seated across from Draco in between Daphne and Pansy, squeaked in fear and buried her face in Daphne’s stomach. The other girls all still stared up in horror as Harry laughed his loss of balance off and continued doing more tricks. He almost lost his balance again when Snape strode into the room looking very angry.

“Potter!” he bellowed loudly.

“Jeez Professor! Way to break my concentration!” Harry grumbled, twirling around on the spot.

“Potter, get your sorry arse down here this instance!” Snape shouted again, ignoring the boy’s remark.

“I’m sorry, the number that you dialed is no longer in use, please try another name~” Harry said in an annoying, high pitched voice.

“Quinzel!” Snape growled out.  
“I want you back down this instance or I will take 50 points from Slytherin for every second you’re still up there!”

Harry crouched down on the rope and stared at Snape for a short moment before heaving a deep sigh.

“You’re the boss,” he shrugged.

The whole room screamed in horror when Harry suddenly let himself fall backwards. Draco had jumped back up from his seat and stared wide eyed as Harry’s fall abruptly ended shortly after he started falling and a net turned visible by contact. Harry laughed and pulled his wand out of its holster to vanish the net. He was still laughing as he landed on his two feet on the ground.

“You should have seen your faces!” he choked out, giggling like an idiot.

“One hundred points from Slytherin, Quinzel,” Snape bit out hatefully.

Harry chuckled and walked over to the table, sitting down next to a still very shaken Draco.

“You’re bloody insane! What’s wrong with you, Quinn?!” the blonde hissed furiously.

“You made poor Tracy cry with that stunt of yours!” Pansy exclaimed accusingly.

“Hey! I was going to come down nice and easy, but Snape had to go and threaten me!” Harry defended himself.  
“And then I did what he told me to do and he still takes points! How unfair is that?! This is discrimination, and I don’t even know why!”

“Maybe because you’re a danger for yourself and anyone around you?” Blaise suggested, sitting down of Draco’s other side.

Harry fell silent at that for a moment, frowning in thought.

“It’s still not fair…” he mumbled crossly.

.              .              .               .              .

Almost all the students were boarding the train with them, as Harry, Draco, Blaise, Daphne and Pansy searched for a spot. He noticed Hermione a bit further, ready to board in the next carriage and grinned.

“Hermione!” he called, waving her over.

The rest of the Slytherins stared at him as if he was crazy, which Harry didn’t really mind. They were pretty close to the truth with that one anyway, he though gleefully.

“Come sit with us! There’s still a spot free!” he told her as the brunette was closer.

Draco scowled annoyed while the two Slytherin girls bristled angrily. Blaise just eyed Hermione with distaste, but didn’t seem to go against Harry suggestion. Hermione, feeling the hostility of the others opened her mouth to decline, but Harry didn’t give her the chance, grabbing both her and Draco’s wrists as he dragged both of them into the train.

“C’mon! It’ll be fun!” he laughed.

And it turned out, it was fun! For him at least as he observed the tension in the small carriage they were in, grinning widely at the others. He’d forced Hermione in the window seat across from him and plopped Draco next to her, so she wouldn’t be able to get away. Pansy sat on Draco’s other side, her arms crossed and a petulant pout on her pale lips. Next to Harry was Daphne, and next to her Blaise, who was staring bored in front of him.

“So… How’s everyone’s Potions essay going?” Hermione started hesitantly.

Harry’s grin widened. There was that Gryffindor Courage those Lions were so proud of!

“No one cares about the essay, Granger!” Pansy hissed angrily.

“Which is exactly why you have such bad grades,” Blaise muttered annoyed.

The dark haired girl blushed a bit and looked away with an angry scowl.

“Who wants to play some Exploding Snap?!” Harry eventually asked, deciding to put everyone out of their misery.

It worked instantly, as Hermione perked up curiously.

“What’s that?” she asked eagerly.

“It’s a card game!... With exploding cards,” Harry replied chuckling.

With that, Hermione pulled up her nose and leaned back in her seat, scowling.

“Why would you want to play that?” she muttered confused.

“Because it’s with exploding cards!” Harry laughed.

“What did you think it was, Granger?” Draco asked annoyed, glaring at the girl.  
“It has bloody ‘Explosive’ in the name!”

Harry chuckled softly and leaned back in his seat. After a few moments of thought, he pulled his trunk up and – carefully, trying to keep his stolen book at the bottom – took out Malinda, who hissed gratefully and wrapped around his neck. Hermione and Pansy both gave a small squeak while the other three widened their eyes at the sight of the small snake.

“Wh-what the hell are you doing with that?” Blaise asked, for the first time sounding something other than composed.

Harry grinned widely at that and petted Malinda’s head.

“She’s my pet,” he replied innocently.  
“Hadn’t you guys noticed? She’s been sleeping in our dorms since September!”

The expressions of pure shock were absolutely delicious and Harry laughed so hard he fell out of his seat.

.              .              .               .              .

No one was waiting for him at the station, so Harry scowled and pulled out his notebook to write his dad. Malinda was neatly nestled on his shoulders as he leaned against a wall in one of the most remote corners of the platform.

_[Where are you? I’m at King’s Cross.]_

It took a long while, and Harry actually started to believe that his dad wouldn’t answer at all. He frowned deeply, a small tremble entering his hands as he was about to write something else when he finally received an answer.

_[Still in Gotham. Go hide somewhere, kid. I’m sending you over.]_

Harry looked around himself and found a small alcove nearby. He quickly jumped out of sight and opened his book again.

_[Ready.]_

The strange feeling as if something pulled him forward by his navel gripped Harry and he disappeared from the Station. When he landed on his back, he was completely disoriented for a moment. He blinked a few times, trying to get used to the sudden change in scenery. He heard the police sirens and the sound of gunshots. When his blurry vision cleared up, he noticed his dad leaning over him with a wide manic grin.

“Welcome home,” the Clown Prince of Crime said, pulling Harry up.  
“… **_Hostage_** …”

Harry grinned, allowing his dad to card his fingers through his messy purple and pink hair, turning it black once again before pulling out his wand and waving it at Harry’s luggage. It shrunk right away and Joker picked it up and put it in his pocket.

 ***The snake better stay hidden or I’ll have to cut the visible pieces off,*** Joker threatened.

Harry could feel Malinda shiver underneath his clothes and he patted her in a comforting manner before Joker pulled him close to his chest and pressed a gun to the boy’s head.

“Show me those pretty tears, kiddo,” Joker whispered.

On command, Harry eyes watered immediately and he started struggling almost desperately.

“P-please, Mr. Joker! D-don’t hurt me!” he wailed fearfully.  
“I just wa-wanna g-go home! Please don’t kill me!”

Joker laughed and pulled Harry out of the room with him and into the view of the police and Batman. Harry gave a fearful whimper as he saw all the guns trained on him and struggled a bit more, only for the Joker to hit him in the head with the barrel of his gun before pressing it back against his temple. Harry was actually reeling from the hit, his head throbbing. He stilled his struggles and allowed tears to slip down his cheeks.

“One wrong move and the kid’s a goner!” Joker called out.

Batman growled and reached for his utility belt.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you~” Joker sang, wiggling the gun.

To get the point across even more, Harry gave a terrified whimper and let his lower lip tremble as he looked pleadingly at Batman. The Dark Knight tensed and looked over to the police Captain, saying something to him, before the man sighed and put up his hands before taking a careful step forward.

“Harry, right?” the man called out.

Harry looked at him and nodded his head as much as he could while being kept in the tight hold of the Joker’s arms.

“Alright. My name is Jim Gordon… you went to school with my daughter, right? You two are friends?”

“B-Barbara,” Harry mumbled hiccupping before nodding again.  
“Pl-please! I-I don’t wanna die! Please don’t hurt me Mr. Joker!”

“Well, Harry, I promise we’ll get you home safely,” Gordon said.

“Now, now Jim. You shouldn’t make promises you _know_ you can’t keep,” Joker mocked.

“What do you want, Joker?” Batman asked.

The Joker chuckled and pulled out a hand grenade. He thumbed off the pin and threw it at Batman who caught it and turned away from the panicking police. Joker laughed and pulled Harry with him towards the getaway car that had driven up to them. He pushed Harry in first before climbing in as well and shouting at the driver to go.

“Nice acting, kid!” he laughed.

“Yeah, but I guess that means I’ll have to show my face back into town soon,” Harry mumbled.  
“And I had hoped for some quality family time before going to see Dick, you know?”

“Your mom’s still not back and I’m a busy guy,” Joker shrugged.  
“Tomorrow, you go to your rich friend and spend a week there. Give them some excuse why mommy and daddy don’t have time.”

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. Home Sweet Home.

.              .              .               .              .

By the next morning, Dick was an absolute wreck. He had gotten a few letters from Harry (yes, letters! How ancient was that boarding school?) but none of them had mentioned he’d be getting back so early. He’d been left at home when Joker attacked City Hall because it was ‘too dangerous’ for him and had been forced to see his best friend in the hands of the psychopathic clown on TV. And now, Harry was gone. Even a whole night of tracking in the Batcave had given no results at all.

Dick barely heard the doorbell at all as he sat at the kitchen table, staring at his breakfast. How could he eat when his best friend was probably dead? Poor Harry, kidnapped by the Joker and no one could find him… And where were his parents anyway?! Shouldn’t they be worried and asking for help with the cops? They might be criminals, but even they would ask the police for help when it involved their kids, right? His mom threatened to involve Batman in finding Harry last time.

“Is that your brooding face? It looks very serious.”

Dick jumped up, wide-eyed as he saw Harry standing at the doorway, face bruised and scratched and covered in dirt, but still smirking. He held one arm against his chest at an odd angle while the other was buried casually into his pocket and a scraped knee could be seen because there was a pretty big hole in his pants. Dick gasped and jumped up, rushing up to harry and hugging his friend tightly.

“Ouch,” Harry groaned.

“Are you alright? How did you escape? Where does it hurt? What did he do to you?” Dick asked worried.

“We had gentle loving sex and I’m now carrying his child,” Harry replied blankly.  
“Yeah, no. The bastard threw me out of a driving car in the middle of fucking nowhere and I had to walk all the way back.”

“Oh my god! Are you alright?” Dick asked.

“Aside from the bruises? I think I broke my arm.”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry admitted he felt a bit awkward with the way Bruce and Dick were staring at him. He absently rubbed the new cast on his arm, curtesy of Alfred – who would have thought the butler could even mend broken bones? – and he looked around himself again. They were sitting in the living room, in front of the large flat screen TV.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t call your parents?” Bruce asked again.

“Mom’s in Metropolis, visiting my aunt and won’t be back for another few months and dad was pretty clear before that he’s too busy,” Harry replied shrugging.

Really fucking clear. The damn bastard literally threw Harry out of the driving car! Seriously, he better give Harry some bone-mending potion when he got back, because no way Harry was going back to school with a fucking cast.

“You were _kidnapped by the Joker_!” Dick exclaimed.

“Where I come from, we see things like this every week,” Harry chuckled.  
“Don’t worry, Dick. I’ll live, and when I go back home, dad will spoil me to make it up.”

Bruce and Dick both scowled at that, but neither made a comment on it. Harry sighed and pulled the blanket hanging over his shoulders closer around him. He wasn’t cold or anything, but he liked the feeling of the soft, fluffy fabric hugging him tight. He looked up when Alfred walked back into the room.

“There are reporters outside hoping for a statement from master Riddle,” he said.

Harry sighed again and stood up. Dick’s eyes widened as he jumped up as well and followed after Harry.

“What are you going to do?” he asked worried.

“Scared the reporters will get to me?” Harry teased.

“Scared you’ll get to the reporters,” Dick snorted in reply.

“Well, that doesn’t sound like me at all!” Harry said incredulous, making Dick laugh.

As the two friends reached the front door, Harry swung it open, flinching back at the sudden camera flashes and the commotion of several men and women all trying to talk to him at the same time.

“Hey!” Harry screamed on top of his lungs.

The noise quieted down and the reporters all stared at Harry in shock. Harry pulled his blanket up again and glared at the group of people before him.

“Leave me alone, I’m in shock,” he said sternly.  
“See, look I have a blanket!”

With a that, he slammed the door closed again and strode back into the living room with a snickering Dick hot on his tail. Alfred was just putting down a trey with three steaming cups as Harry plopped back down on the seat he had previously occupied.

“And that’s how you deal with that,” he said smugly as he picked up a cup and sniffed it.  
“Oh! Hot chocolate! I really love your hot coco, Alfred, thanks!”

“Anytime, master Riddle,” the man replied smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of the tightrope is from Girlwithshinigamieyes (on AO3) so thanks for that!


	26. A Very Wayne Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you guys commented on my Sherlock reference! That makes me happy!  
> Harry will from time to time use quotes from movies or series (or Cry, but I’m not really sure how many of you know him) And some ideas come from Tumblr. When you recognize one, comment, I love to see how many of you can guess them all.  
> I don’t have any in this chapter though.

“I invited Commissioner Gordon and his family for Christmas. I hope you boys don’t mind.”

Harry looked up from the anime show he and Dick were watching to smile brightly at Bruce.

“I don’t!” he said cheerfully.  
“Maybe that means I won’t have to go down to the station later.”

“Jim said the same thing, actually,” Bruce said smiling.  
“He hoped you’d talk to him about what happened while they were here.”

“Taking your work home has a new level,” Dick snorted.

“No one should work on the holidays,” Harry agreed.

“Crime doesn’t stop during the holidays either,” Bruce sighed.  
“But you two are right. In an ideal world, no one should work during the holidays.”

Harry and Dick both grinned at him before turning back towards the TV. Bruce smiled fondly as he saw the boys enjoy their show. Harry was a bit odd, even now as he was watching his anime. For some reason, he seemed to root for the Titans instead of the humans, which made Dick laugh at Harry’s cheers and Booing. After a while, Alfred walked in, smiling at the three talking cheerfully while watching TV.

“Lunch has been prepared,” he announced.

Dick immediately pressed pause while Harry scrambled up eagerly and ran into the dining room ahead of everyone else. He heard Bruce laugh behind him before a set of quick, young footsteps rushed after him. Harry grinned and jumped on a chair, only, he had too much momentum and fell off his chair on the other side, causing Dick, who walked in shortly after him, to laugh at him.

“Nice going!” Dick teased and he quickly took a seat on the chair Harry had tried to sit.

Harry stuck out his tongue and grabbed two legs of the chair, pushing them up until Dick fell out the chair with a shout of surprise.

“You don’t steal a seat from an invalid!” Harry laughed as he quickly sat down.

Dick rolled his eyes and grinned as he picked himself up from the ground, but moved to sit across from the other boy without much fuss. Bruce and Alfred had been standing at the door the entire time, watching the two boys in amusement, but since they had now settled, the adults dared to venture in as well without needing to worry about becoming collateral damage.

Lunch looked pretty great, with cake and everything. Harry was quick to fill his plate and started shoveling food into his mouth at high speed. Dick chuckled at him as he ate more civilized and Bruce scowled.

“The food isn’t going to disappear suddenly if you don’t hurry,” he said.

Harry stopped halfway and looked down with a scowl. He was unconsciously expecting it would. He had a bad habit of showing up in the Great Hall with only 10 minutes of breakfast left, and Halloween still haunted him. All that candy, gone…

He quickly shook his head to get the terrible memory away and looked over at Dick. He hadn’t seen his friend in months, and he was wondering how he was doing without him at school.

“How’s school going without me anyway?” Harry asked between bites.

Dich put his fork down and groaned dramatically.

“It’s horrible!” he exclaimed.  
“Mr. Johnson thinks because you and Gabe are both gone, he can take revenge on me! He’s been terrible for months!”

Harry scowled in annoyance. That bastard dared! He should pay his old teacher a visit as Child’s Play and… No, Dick would know it was him if he did that… he needed to find a better way to take revenge.

“He’s been acting strangely cheerful and every time he does a rollcall, he makes sure to call your name too, just to remind himself you’re no longer in his class.”

Harry couldn’t help himself. He threw his head back in joy and cackled amused.

“He sounds like those evil teachers in cartoons!” he laughed.  
“I didn’t realize he loved me so much! I’m really flattered!”

“Yeah, you don’t have to sit through classes with a teacher who tries to make you fail,” Dick grouched.

Snape flitted through Harry’s mind and he gave a sheepish smile. When Dick saw the way his friend was looking, he groaned and rubbed his face.

“Three and a half months… what did you do?” he asked.

“Nothing! I think he hates me on principle!” Harry replied.  
“He keeps calling me by my birth name, so my guess is he hated my folks.”

“That’s so unfair!” Dick exclaimed angrily.

“I know! But teachers don’t care about that!” Harry replied.

“We should do something about it,” Dick said resolutely.

With that, Bruce quickly stood from his chair with a deep sigh.

“I think it’s best I don’t know where this is going,” he said calmly.  
“I’m going to see if I can find an alibi for myself.”

Harry and Dick laughed as Bruce strode out of the room. Grinning widely, Harry moved his chair around the table so he sat right next to Dick. He leaned on the table, his eyes focused on Dick as his grin widened even more, an idea already forming in his head.

“What if we made Mr. Johnson think that I’m coming back?” Harry suggested.  
“Drive him insane with paranoia, make him see me literally everywhere!”

“Making everyone believe you’re coming back should be easy enough,” Dick mused.  
“We just need to start a rumor. The whole town knows you anyway, so it’ll go like a wild fire.”

Harry smirked and nodded.

“We can start with Barbara, tell her I want to come back,” Harry agreed.  
“And we’ll go out to the park soon. I bet at least some kids from school hang out there. Gabe will join no problem. He’ll gladly announce I’m back.”

Dick smirked at that, but soon started scowling again.

“He’ll know it’s fake as soon as school starts again,” he said.

Harry frowned in thought and nodded. There had to be something that would make it as if he was still in school, like a ghost…

“I’m going to haunt the school!” he exclaimed excitedly.  
“Voice recordings, books and maps with my name, messages on the blackboard,…”

Dick’s eyes widened in excitement and he started grinning widely.

“You make the recordings, I’ll buy the schoolbooks,” he said.

“Mr. Johnson won’t know what’s happening!” Harry laughed.

.              .              .               .              .

“Welcome, Commissioner,” Bruce greeted the man.

“It’s just Jim tonight, Mr. Wayne,” Gordon chuckled.

“Then I insist you call me Bruce,” Bruce replied smiling.

The Commissioner took off his hat before taking his wife’s coat and hand it over to Alfred, who had already taken Barbara’s.

“Thank you for inviting us over, Bruce,” the man said.

“Thank you for coming. Harry is really relieved he won’t have to go to the station.”

As they walked into the living room, where Harry and Dick were quietly whispering to each other, Barbara’s face lit up and she rushed forward. Harry let out a loud ‘oomph’ as the red haired girl latched onto him and hugged him tightly.

“Ohmygosh! When I heard about what happened I was so scared!” she cried out.  
“You could have been dead! What were you doing there anyway? how did he get you like that? Are you sure you’re ok?”

“I’m fine! A bit out of breath, but fine!” Harry laughed weakly, trying to get his lungs to fill.  
“But you know what would make me feel even better?”

Barbara moved a bit away and looked at Harry with wide, questioning eyes. Harry grinned at her and just pointed upwards, where a mistletoe hung. Barbara’s face heated up in humiliation right away, causing Dick to burst out laughing as the redhead hit his best friend with her tiny fist.

“Ugh! You’re such a bully, Riddle!” the girl shouted.

“Me?! You’re the one that hits a trauma victim!” Harry complained pouting.

Barbara rolled her eyes, but the next second, she darted forward and panted a shy kiss on Harry’s cheek before turning around and rushing to the dining room, where the adult all were already sitting down for their Christmas dinner. Harry blinked in surprise and gently touched his cheek. He turned to Dick, blushing a soft red color and batted his eyes sweetly as he grinned.

“I think she likes me,” he said teasingly, biting his lip cutely.

“Careful, or her crush might crush you literally,” Dick chuckled.

Harry laughed at the bad joke and pushed Dick into the dining room, before joining as well. He was pretty hungry, especially since he’d seen what Albert had cooked up for them. That man was a true wizard in the kitchen.

“So, Harry. How are you holding up?” Gordon asked, smiling at the boy.

“Usually just with my feet under me, but when I’m tired I have to use the wall or Dick. Maybe a chair…” Harry replied thoughtfully.

Dick burst out laughing and Bruce rolled his eyes while the Gordon family just looked confused. Aside from Barbara, who heaved a heavy sigh and shook her head in exasperation.

“Just ignore him dad,” she said.  
“If he can make jokes like that, I’m sure he’s fine.”

Harry gasped and gave her a scandalized look.

“I was kidnapped and used as a hostage by the Joker!” he exclaimed in an overly dramatic voice.  
“I was traumatized, madam! You have no idea of the things that madman did to this young, innocent child!”

Barbara raised a brow, being completely unimpressed with Harry’s claims. Harry laughed and gave the red haired girl a teasing grin.

“I have also good news by the way,” he said.

“And what is that?” Barbara asked suspicious.

Harry looked over to Dick and nodded at him, giving him the go ahead with a big grin. Dick grinned too, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth as he turned towards Barbara. The redhead looked at the two boys with wary eyes, not trusting them at all.

“Harry’s coming back!” Dick said cheerful.

“Scotland is boring,” Harry explained grinning.

He wanted to laugh when he saw Barbara’s face. The poor girl was being torn by her many emotions, all so visible to read on her young face. There was confusion, happiness, worry, curiosity, and even a little fear shone through her blue eyes. It was hilarious.

“Didn’t you like your special school, dear?” Barbara’s mom, Mrs. Gordon, asked.

“Not really,” Harry shrugged.  
“A lot of people there knew my parents, and they just couldn’t understand that I wasn’t like them.”

“That’s terrible!” Barbara exclaimed horrified.

“To make it even better, there’s this teacher that hates me even more than Mr. Johnson did,” Harry sighed sadly.

“You mean that’s possible?” Dick joked.

“Apparently. And I barely even gave him reason!”

“Barely any reason for you is usually a LOT of reason,” Barbara deadpanned.

Harry scoffed, acting offended while Dick laughed loudly in amusement. Jim Gordon raised a brow and looked at Harry, who gave the chief of police a sheepish grin and ruffled his hair.

“I don’t _bad_ things,” he told the man chuckling.  
“Just a few practical jokes! I swear. No animals have been harmed as of yet.”

That wasn’t a lie, surprisingly. He never harmed animals. Only humans.

“Keep it like that, kid,” Gordon told him amused.

Harry grinned and nodded eagerly. Let the man think he was just an innocent prankster. One day, the whole world would burning in the flames of the fire he started, and they would all be at his feet, drowning in chaos.

.              .              .               .              .

“How come your dad doesn’t pick you up if he’s so worried about you?” Dick asked.

“Because he works really hard!” Harry laughed.

“As a criminal?”

Harry stopped laughing and raised a brow. He grinned, but there was none of the usual cheer sparkling in his green eyes. Only coldness was left.

“I don’t mean anything with it, Harry,” Dick sighed.  
“But we all know that Gabe’s dad is a criminal too. He works for the Joker!”

Harry gave a chilling smile and hugged Dick tightly.

“Thanks for your concern, Dick,” he whispered.  
“But one day I’ll work for the Joker too. That’s just the way it is.”

Without waiting for a reply, he turned around and walked towards Dave’s car and slid into the passenger seat. The man gave him a yellow teethed grin and ruffled his hair.

“Glad to have you back, little Prince,” he greeted.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry sighed, slapping the hand away.

Dave’s eyes widened in fear and he quickly started the car. Harry sighed heavily and looked out the window to Dick, who was staring back at him with wide eyes and mouth agape in shock. Would Dick not want anything to with him now that he confessed being part of Joker’s gang?

To his surprise, Dick gave him a weak smile and lifted his hand to wave at him. Harry sat up straighter and grinned when he saw Dick mouth the word ‘friend’ at him and he laughed happily, waving back.

“Friends!” he called back.

Maybe there was still hope for them after all.

 


	27. Villain's Eve

“Welcome home kid!” Joker laughed, throwing his arms wide.

Harry fought the urge to run over and hug his dad. He was supposed to be angry at him, dammit! So that’s what he was. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him.

“Thanks. It was great to not be thrown out of the car this time around,” he said.

Joker rolled his eyes and huffed. Without further acknowledging Harry, he walked back into the living room of the house and plopped down on the couch. With a sigh, Harry followed and sat down next to his dad, eyeing the TV.

“What movie are we watching?” he asked.

“It,” Joker replied shrugging.

Harry snorted at that.

“Crazy murder clown,” he muttered.  
“We’ve seen the stupid movie a thousand times already.”

Still, he snugged into his dad’s side and laid his head down on his shoulder while Joker wrapped his arms around him. Harry smiled, feeling warm and comfortable in his father’s embrace. Joker might be a Pennywise to the rest of the world and Dick might think of him as Alvin Marsh, but Harry liked to think of his family as the Adam’s Family instead.

“Hey, kid,” Joker spoke up, rubbing Harry’s arm as he looked down on the boy with a big grin.  
“We’re having a New Year’s party for all our good friends, alright? Riddler, Two-Face, Mr. Freeze, Pengy. They’re all coming.”

Harry perked up at that.

“And aunt Ivy?” he asked hopeful.

“Yeah, her too,” Joker chuckled.

“I can’t wait already!” Harry exclaimed happily, snugging back into his dad.

.              .              .               .              .

When the movie was done, Joker send Harry up to his room almost immediately, saying that they would have a busy week before the party would start. Harry had agreed easily, too tired to really complain, like he usually did when he was send up to his room.

He put on his clown pajama’s and crawled into bed, ready to go to sleep when he suddenly remembered the book he’d stolen from the Restricted Section of the library. Harry’s eyes widened, suddenly not tired anymore at all as he jumped back out of his bed and opened his trunk to dig the book out. It was a big, heavy tome with an actual silver back and bloodstains on the cover.

For a few long moments, Harry stared at it, wondering if he could just open it or if the book would try to kill him. It could easily be cursed to keep people from reading it, like that screaming book.

“Gah!” he suddenly shouted in surprise as something slithered against his leg.

He looked down and released a breath of relief when he saw it was Malinda. The snake looked up at him innocently and stuck out her tongue to taste the air.

 ** _*Is Hatchling alright?*_** she asked curiously.

 ** _*Fine. Just wondering if I should open the book,*_** Harry replied.

If a snake could frown, he was sure that would have been exactly what Malinda would be doing right now. She slid up higher and came to rest on Harry’s lap, lapping at the book for a moment with her long, forked tongue.

 ** _*What does Hatchling fear?*_** she asked.

**_*Some curse could be on the book and I’d die when trying to open it.*_ **

Hearing a snake laugh was still a very strange thing to Harry, though he was slowly getting used to it.

 ** _*No curse on the book, Hatchling,*_** Malinda hissed amused.  
**_*I would smell the danger, but I can only smell dark magic that hasn’t been used in a long time.*_**

Harry nodded and murmured a thanks while gently scratching the snake’s head. With his other hand, he opened the book to the first page. When he saw the title, he grinned widely. This was one book that wouldn’t be returning to the library.

_‘The Darkest Arts and Raising the Dead: A Necromancer’s Guide’_

.              .              .               .              .

Harry had never seen Gabe this nervous before in his life. The 12 year-old was practically shaking and he really hadn’t any reason for it since the big warehouse actually had working heating. Or well… Joker had charmed the place to be warm (seriously, Snape could learn something from his dad. At least he could place a proper heating charm)

“Calm down you spaz,” Harry teased.  
“They’re not gonna kill you… I think.”

“Yeah, because that’s helpful!” Gabe growled.

“Always glad to help~” Harry laughed.

“Sometimes I really hate you, you know?”

Harry grinned and shrugged. He was dressed as Child’s Play again, and everyone present knew him as Harry Napier. Right now, the adults were all talking to each other, eager to tell the tales of their greatest heists, or their epic battles with the Dark Knight.

“Maybe I should join in and tell them about me epic battles with Robin,” Harry mused, looking at the adults.

“You mean like that one time he beat you so hard you lost three teeth and had two broken ribs?” Gabe teased.  
“Or more like when he sat on your head and wouldn’t get off until the cops arrived to take you to Arkham? Yeah. Those were epic.”

“Shut up…” Harry pouted.

Gabe laughed and ruffled Harry’s bright green hair teasingly, making the younger boy scowl and duck away from him. Gabe laughed harder at that, and he would have chased after Harry, hadn’t the Joker walked in at that moment with a flourish movement. He wore his new pocket watch, which was a birthday present from Harry and could spray Joker gas. It also held a picture of Harry (as Child’s Play) Harley and Joker inside, taken in a photo boot in the mall last year while they had been robbing it.

“Welcome everyone!” the Joker cried out loudly.  
“Today we celebrate the start of a new year, where we will all continue to try – and probably fail – to kill the Bat!”

That made a quick end to all the ambiance that had been going on only moments earlier.

“WHAT?!” Two-Face exclaimed angry.

“I’ll show you all! I’ll kill the batman!” Penguin shouted furiously.

Ivy rolled her eyes and looked over to the Joker with a bored expression.

“A bit pessimistic for a clown today, aren’t you, Joker?” she murmured.

“Not at all! just realistic!” the Joker laughed.  
“I doubt any of us has what it takes to take the big man down. Luckily, I know one person who _does_.”

With that, he turned his head and grinned at Harry. The young green haired teen had been playing with a set of finger cuffs and had gotten stuck. He tensed, eyes widening when he noticed everyone was staring at him. grinning sheepishly, Harry lifted both hands and waved at the group of crime lords and metahumans.

“You’ve got to be kiddin’ me,” Two-Face grumbled.

“Please tell us you are joking, Joker,” Mr. Freeze sighed.

Next to him sat a criminal Harry hadn’t met before, but he too was clearly an ice-villain, and apparently went by the name of Icicle. He had brought Camron along, which was a pleasant surprise for Harry, who had gotten very excited to find out his friend was also the son of a supervillain.

“No joke! **_Harry is the Chosen One_** ,” Joker told the others grinning.

“I thought they were being dramatic, but you’re really insane,” Icicle, AKA Dr. Joar Makhent said dryly.  
“What can a kid do that we can’t? he’s what? 10 years old?”

“I’m 11!” Harry replied offended, glaring at the man.

“Same deal. You’re too young,” the man growled.

“Just because you decide to keep your kid out of it, doesn’t mean I do,” Joker told the ice villain blankly.  
“Harry has been working side by side with me since he was 8, and he has been trained since the age of 5. I’m not saying he’s a match to the Batman _yet_ , but with some more training of you guys, he has the potential to do everything none of us could do on our own.”

“What makes you so sure about that?” Two-Face asked.

“Joker’s right,” Ivy spoke up.  
“I’ve been teaching Harry my own fields, and he’s taken to them like a true prodigy. With a bit more practice, I wouldn’t be surprised that he could actually start controlling plants.”

“I’ve been educating him for about 5 years as well,” the Riddler joined in nodding.  
“He might not be a genius, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders. I believe that like Joker said, he could surpass us all.”

“Listen. I believe the boy has some talent,” the Penguin started.  
“But I’ve seen him getting his arse handed to him by the little bird boy more than once.”

“That’s because I’ve told Harry to limit himself to normal human methods,” Joker interjected.  
“I want him to be able to fight well with just using what other people can do too. if I didn’t… well… **_Gotham would be a toxic wasteland of fire and nightmares._** ”

That had the Scarecrow, who was sitting in the far back, just observing everything, pique up in interest.

“Prove it,” he said softly.  
“Show the kid’s ‘special’ powers.”

Everyone looked back over to Harry expectantly, making the young boy grin and tug on his stuck fingers a bit harder.

“I will! Just a second though… I have to-… AHA!”

His fingers finally popped free from the toy, making Harry grin in victory. After that, Harry surveyed the room, thinking of what he could do to prove his worth to the adults. He could go for his wand and show off some spells, but he didn’t think his dad wanted him to give away that much. So instead, he dug deep into his core in an attempt to awaken his ‘accidental’ magic, which his dad had trained in him for a long time too.

His eye eventually fell back on the group of villains, all sitting around a large round table filled with booze and playing cards, as some of them had been playing poker until just now. Grinning, Harry held his palms out towards the table and concentrated.

For a few seconds, nothing happened, but then, the table and chairs, along with everyone on it, slowly began to rise. Some of the people screamed in shock, or at least gasped or shouted. Ivy had gripped the sides of her chair tightly to make sure she wouldn’t fall and was grinning widely, as she and the Riddler where the only two outside Harry’s little family that knew exactly what he was. When he decided they all had enough, Harry released his magic with a tired sigh and watched grinning as everyone fell back down.

“Joker! Why have you never told us your son is a metahuman?!” Two-Face demanded to know.

“Because he isn’t,” Joker chuckled.  
“He’s not an alien either. Harry and I are both members of a subhuman species that hold powers unimaginable to most people. A hidden society, even.”

“Are you saying that you can do this too?” Scarecrow asked dangerously.  
“Then why haven’t _you_ done anything to stop the Batman yet?!”

“Oh! I can do _much_ more than Harry!” Joker laughed darkly.  
“Sadly, I already know that just some _magic_ won’t stop the Bat, and like I said. **_Harry has potential._** ”

For a second or two, everything was quiet as the group tried to comprehend what had all been said. After that, true chaos ensued as everyone was yelling over each other. Gabe jumped a bit in fright to see so many powerful villains screaming over each other, angry and ready to start a fight. He quickly turned towards Harry, looking at him questioningly.

“I’ll explain everything after the party, promise,” Harry told him in a whisper.

Gabe nodded in understanding and looked back in front of him, too scared to keep his eyes off the oncoming brawl. Camron, in the meantime, had walked over to the young duo and grinned widely at Harry.

“So you’re a magic user, huh?” the albino teen asked amused.  
“That’s pretty cool! Can’t wait to see what you’ll do to the world when you’re older.”

“Wait until you see what I’ve got in mind for the world right now,” Harry grinned darkly.

They had to duck away when someone, they hadn’t seen who, threw a bottle of whiskey. Gabe’s eyes were so wide in fear that Harry actually wondered if they would just pop out of their cases soon.

“This is madness!” the brunette boy exclaimed horrified.

“This is politics,” Harry replied amused, making Camron laugh and Gabe stare.

“Don’t worry. They’ll calm down again soon enough,” the albino soothed the scared boy.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry made a grab to the bottle of rum on the table, only to find it was already completely empty. The boy groaned and looked around. Things were getting kind of hazy with how much he’d drunk already, but he wanted more. He wanted to drink himself unconscious.

“Ish there more rum?” he asked Two-Face.

“No. Rum’s gone kid,” the man rumbled amused.

Harry made a whining sound and dropped his head on the table.

“Why is the rum always gone?!” he groaned, making the man chuckle.

Gabe scowled as he saw Harry’s state and he dragged his friend away from the celebrating adults. Harry followed meekly, too drunk to really do anything else. He giggled and hugged Gabe around the neck once they were out of the crowd. His head came to rest on his friend’s shoulder as he sighed.

“Are you here to show me a good time?” Harry asked giggling.

Gabe shook his head and pried Harry off of him so he could look the other in the face.

“You have a serious drinking problem for an 11 year-old,” Gabe said.

Harry stared at him for a moment before he gave another giggle. Halfway through, he abruptly stopped again and turned completely serious. For a moment, Gabe thought his friend had sobered up by pure willpower alone.

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem,” Harry said before falling back in a fit of giggles.

Gabe sighed annoyed and grabbed Harry again when he saw the younger boy wobbled on his feet.

“Alright. Now you’re seriously not making any sense anymore…”

“Just relax and party!” Camron called out grinning, putting a bottle of vodka to his lips.

He was far beyond buzzed as well, making Gabe roll his eyes. Seriously. He had been scared earlier, but now he didn’t know anymore why that was. All these idiots were well on their way to alcohol poisoning. At least that would mean that Gotham would be safe for a few extra days after this, but Gabe was getting really worried about Harry’s alcohol intake. I kid his age should have ended up in a coma three bottles ago.

“How are you not dead yet?” he asked.

“Funny. That’s not the first time someone asked me tha’…” Harry mumbled thoughtfully.  
“But I-I’m pwetty… pretty shore tha’- that I can drink more because-cuz I’m a wizard an-and I can heal magi-cically an’ stuffs…”

The green haired teen giggled again and slumped against Gabe, almost falling asleep.

“Bu’ it’s ok if I die, y’know? Is ok, ‘cuz I know nec-necro-fil-… necro-man-cy… yeah! I know necromancy!”

To Gabe, that was probably the most disturbing thing Harry could have said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an easy one with the references, but that’s ok. I wasn’t trying to be subtle.


	28. No Fellowship

The ride back to school was pretty much a blur to Harry. He could still hear Draco talk, but he didn’t understand a single word the other was blabbing on about. He didn’t have time to either. He still had to do that stupid potions essay.

“Are you seriously doing your homework _now_?!” Pansy demanded shocked.

“Yeah. Problem?” Harry asked, glaring at the girl.

Pansy paled and shook her head. Satisfied, Harry went back to work, scribbling furiously.

“Couldn’t you work on it during the holidays?” Draco asked annoyed.

“No. Dad needed me for a job and after that I had to stay a whole week with a friend,” Harry shrugged.  
“And then my extra lessons muggle sciences started, so no potions at all.”

“Muggle sciences?!” Pansy asked disgusted.

“What kind of ‘job’?” Blaise asked.

Harry looked back up and grinned darkly at the dark skinned Pureblood.

**_“Wouldn’t you like to know?”_ **

Everyone fell silent, causing Harry’s grin to widen before he looked back down at his essay. He blamed his dad for making him start studying the day after the New Year’s party. The first day just with him, because all the other villains except for the Riddler were all still hungover while Joker had used a hangover potion. Worst part, he hadn’t allowed Harry to take one, saying that Harry should learn to function under the worst conditions.

After that, his first lesson with Mr. Freeze had started. Math and Physics. It was interesting, sure, but Harry had barely recovered at all from New Year’s Eve, so he had been very distracted and sleepy, which had caused the ice villain to give him an impromptu test. He failed of course, so after that, his lessons with both Freeze and the Riddler had doubled, and now here he was.

He hadn’t had any time for Potions, or Transfigurations. He barely even found an extra ten minutes to explain to Gabe that he was a wizard. The poor 12 year-old had nearly fainted when Harry told him the whole thing about the prophesy, and his dead parents. He was especially shocked when Harry told him that the one he was prophesized to vanquish was the twin brother of the Joker.

The ride back to school was uneventful, so was the ‘Welcome Back’ feast. Dumbledore gave some crackpot speech again, which was good because Harry always loved a good laugh. Most of the other Slytherins weren’t very amused by their Headmaster though, annoyed would be coming closer. Bitter and hateful in the case of some of the older students.

“Bloody weird, as always,” Draco commented when Harry was done giving a standing ovation.

Harry laughed loudly at that. He didn’t bother asking if Draco meant him or Dumbledore. Draco would just say he was talking about both of them, and he’d be right too.

After the feast, everyone was getting ready to go back to the dorm, as it was getting quite late. In half an hour, curfew would start. Harry was talking with Draco and Blaise, trying to get the two boys to join him in his daily morning runs.

“It’s healthy and fun! You’ll feel ten times better after!” he tried.

“How early do you wake up for that anyway?” Draco asked.

“At 6 every morning. I do stretches, and then I go running. I try to be back at 7, but I always lose track of time in the showers. I mean, they’re freaking steam showers! I could stay in for _hours_!”

“I’m not waking up at 6 o’clock every morning to go _running_ ,” Draco muttered.

“Maybe Quinn’s right though,” Blaise said.  
“A healthy mind in a healthy body and all that.”

“And since when is Quinn the poster boy of a healthy mind?” the blond asked skeptically.

Harry and Blaise laughed at that, making Draco glower at the two of them. Suddenly, the shadow of Snape’s intimidating figure fell over the trio, making Draco and Blaise fall silent while Harry grinned brightly at the man.

“How can we help you, teach?” Harry asked cheerfully.

Draco and Blaise winced at the way Harry addressed their head of House, but Snape didn’t react to it beyond scowling deeply at him.

“Headmaster Dumbledore wants to see you, Quinzel,” he said monotonously.

Harry blinked innocently and kept his face blank. His dad had warned him that Dumbledore would want to see him and talk about where he’d been and what he’d done in the past 6 years. They’d gone over it all, and agreed that Harry would tell the truth about the Dursleys’ treatment. That should distract Dumbledore enough from everything else.

“Did he say why he wanted to see me?” Harry asked.  
“Like, is it an emergency, because in that case I’ll have my assistant free a spot in my schedule. Otherwise, I’m afraid my earliest free spot is… the first Tuesday in three months in the early afternoon.”

“Come with me, Quinzel. _Now_ ,” Snape hissed.

“Alright!” Harry replied, raising his hands in a placating manner.  
“It was just a joke, jeez! Way to ruin the mood professor.”

“Quinn…” Draco said warningly.

“I’m going! I’m going!”

He grinned at Snape and motioned for him to lead the way, making the Potions Master scowl annoyed before he swept past Harry towards where Harry guessed was the Headmaster’s office.

Harry was led towards the Griffin statue and waited calmly while Snape muttered the password (“Lemon Drops”). If the greasy bat had expected Harry to be awed or surprised as the stone statue slid away and revealed a staircase, he was sorely disappointed. Harry just stared at it blankly and stepped on the moving stairs, before he started grinning.

“Who said wizards are behind? You even got escalators!” he giggled.

Snape just scowled, but didn’t reply as he turned away and walked back from where they had come.

“Try to make it back before curfew, Quinzel,” the man drawled before he disappeared from Harry’s sight.

Harry just shrugged and waited calmly until he reached a wooden door. With a sigh, he walked up to it and knocked.

“Come in!” Dumbledore called.

Quickly, Harry readied himself for the meeting he was about to have by styling his expression to nervous curiosity. He couldn’t let the old man know anything yet. He had to come over as innocent and sweet, yet still a true Slytherin. It would be hard, but if he could win the old fool’s trust, it would be worth it, he was sure. He slowly pushed the door open and peeked inside, as if making sure it really was alright for him to enter. Dumbledore smiled encouragingly and waved him over.

“Good evening, my Boy,” the old Headmaster greeted.  
“Come sit down. Do you want a lemon drop?”

Harry shook his head.

“If you don’t mind, sir. I’d like to know why I’m here?” he said quietly.  
“Did… did I do something wrong? I swear it was just harmless fun! Just a joke! I don’t know who complained but-”

“No one complained, my dear boy,” the old man chuckled.  
“And this is no such visit, though I should warn you not to follow the Weasley twins’ advice too much.”

Harry grinned at him. He wasn’t following anyone’s advice. All his pranks were his own, but if the idiot wanted to blame someone else, it was fine by him.

“Then why did you send me here?” he asked curiously.

“Just for a little talk, my boy,” Dumbledore replied.  
“Ever since your disappearance 6 years ago, I and many other wizards have been looking for you, yet we never got a hold of your location. I’m quite surprised the owl could find you in fact.”

“My dad’s a bit paranoid,” Harry explained sheepishly.  
“He used to work for a muggle criminal, but eventually testified against him. Ever since, he keeps really strong wards around our house, so they won’t find him.”

Most of it wasn’t lying. The Joker really was a paranoid fucker, and he had set up extremely powerful wards around the house and the warehouse they lived before that. And though Joker really had worked for another criminal before becoming the Joker, he wasn’t scared of them. He killed them all anyway.

“And if you don’t mind me asking: how exactly did you come to this new family?” Dumbledore asked.  
“The last of your stories that circulated was that they kidnapped and brainwashed you. Another one is I believe that they saved you from a gang of witch-hunters?”

“They technically did kidnap me, since they were never able to officially adopt me,” Harry shrugged smirking.  
“I just don’t like talking about my past much, so I tell everyone a ton of plausible and less plausible stories and let them build their own truth from those.”

Dumbledore chuckled, his blue eyes twinkling in amusement as he nodded understandingly.

“And will you tell me the truth then, Harry?” he asked smiling.

Harry’s expression turned frigid and the question and glared at his Headmaster.

“Why would I?” he asked coldly.  
“You’re the one that left me at the Dursleys, didn’t you?”

“Ah… Hagrid told me about your claim of abuse, but-”

“ _Claim_?!” Harry hissed angrily, jumping up from his seat.  
“I can show you the fucking scars you hypocrite bastard! They beat, burned, cut and whipped me almost daily! I was forced to sleep in a tiny cupboard and whenever they suspected I did something ‘freakish’ they’d lock me in there and refuse me food and water!”

“I-I’m sure there might have been some tension, my boy, but they’re your family-” Dumbledore started shakily.

“They _hated_ me and I hated them!” Harry shouted red faced.  
“I’ve seen the letter you know. They kept it, too scared to throw it out. You fucking _threatened_ them to raise me! What the fuck did you expect? That they’d love it?! If you thought they would take good care of me, you wouldn’t have to threaten them in the first place! You knew they hated magic, and you still left me with them! What they did to me for _four fucking years_ is your fault! You think you’re some kind of Gandalf?! Well guess what! I’m not Frodo, so fuck off!”

With that, Harry took a deep breath and calmed down so fast that Dumbledore thought there was a completely different boy in front of him all of a sudden. Harry gave a charming smile and carded a hand through his messy hair, styling it a bit neater.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, but Professor Snape was very clear that I should be back in the dorm before curfew, so I best be off.”

Giving another blinding smile, Harry turned around and walked out, leaving a completely shell-shocked Dumbledore behind.

.              .              .               .              .

The next morning, Harry actually succeeded in getting both Blaise and Draco to join him on his morning run. It was a bit of a hassle at first, since Draco refused to get up and then Harry had to find both purebloods some training pants, and neither wanted the purple ones with green polka dots.

For a moment, both Blaise and Draco had nearly freaked out again when Malinda slithered out from underneath Harry’s bed and started hissing at Harry. The purple haired boy laughed and allowed the snake to hide in the kangaroo pocket in his bright yellow hoodie until they were outside and he let her out again when they passed by the Forbidden Forest to let her hunt.

In the end, they had to cut it short after only half an hour since neither pureblood had any experience running that long and were already out of breath. Neither Draco nor Blaise wanted to admit it though, and just blamed their short trip on each other. They all took a shower, Harry a little longer than the other two and then went to the Great Hall for breakfast, 45 minutes earlier than Harry usually arrived.

“I hope next time, Blaise can keep up better,” Draco said haughtily.

“Me?! You’re the one that couldn’t go another step!” Blaise exclaimed offended.

“Of course I could keep going! It’s just beneath me to _run_ ,” the blond grumbled.

Harry chuckled and shook his head amused. Both of them were idiots in his mind.

“Harry,” Dumbledore suddenly spoke up right next to the trio.  
“About last night, I would like to-”

Harry could already tell where this was going and he didn’t like it at all, so he quickly plastered a large, happy smile on his face and turned towards his teacher.

“Good morning, Gandalf,” he said pleasantly.

His classmates all scowled in confusion, none of them really understanding what he meant by that. Dumbledore raised a curios brow, the second one raising along with it as two Ravenclaws snorted. Harry grinned at the two kids and wiggled his eyebrows at them.

One of them was a fifth year girl with blond hair and a prefect badge on her chest. The other was one of Harry’s classmates, Anthony Goldstein. Harry knew that Goldstein was a half-blood, meaning he might have seen the movies. The girl, Clearwater he thought her name was, was probably either a half-blood or a muggleborn too.

“Wonderful movies, I admit,” Dumbledore smiled.  
“I guess it’s the beard, isn’t it, my Boy?”

“I guess it is, sir,” Harry replied grinning.

Dumbledore continued on towards the teacher’s table. As soon as the Headmaster was gone, Draco turned his face towards Harry with a deep frown tugging his brows down while the other Slytherins sitting around them looked at him curiously.

“What the hell was that about, Quinn?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Harry shrugged.  
“I told Dumbledore that I’m not playing his game yesterday, and I just reminded him of that again.”

“Good. Dumbledore’s games are usually nothing good,” Blaise murmured.

Harry grinned darkly at that.

**_“Neither am I.”_ **

 


	29. Hufflepuff vs Slytherin

Flint was working the team harder than ever. Even the endless rain that had replaced the snow couldn't dampen his spirits. Lucian Bole and Terrence Higgs complained that Flint was becoming a fanatic, like Wood, but Harry was on Flint’s side. If they won their next match, against Hufflepuff, they would be once again unbeatable in the House Cup for the seventh year in a row.

Still, that didn’t mean Harry had to seriously practice when he wasn’t feeling like it, so instead, he was dive bombing the other players and acting like he fell off his broom, much to the annoyance of the other players. Especially Higgs, it seemed.

“Will you stop messing around!” he yelled.  
“That's exactly the sort of thing that'll lose us the match!”

“Leave him be,” Flint said in a bored tone.  
“Snape’s refereeing this time anyway.”

Harry really did fall off his broom at these words.

"Snape's refereeing?" he spluttered through a mouthful of mud.

“He’s never refereed in his life!” Pucey exclaimed shocked.

Flint gave them a wolfish grin.

“Does it matter?” he asked.  
“At least with Snape we know we can get away with more. He won’t call us out as quick.”

This had Bole and Derrick look at each other with wide grins while Pucey and Higgs, the only two fair players on the team, scowled. Harry just shrugged and chuckled. It didn’t really matter to him, because he was planning on playing fair this time too… more or less.

After practice, Harry left to find Draco, whom he found teasing Longbottom near the library. His two troll guards stood by his sides again, like always. Curiously, Harry snuck forward to listen in on whatever it was that Draco was teasing the poor sniveling Gryffindor this time.

“I bet you only got into Gryffindor because you weren’t smart enough for anywhere else,” Draco sneered.  
“You’re such a coward and a crybaby. The perfect practice dummy for this curse I just learned.”

Neville tried to get away when Draco pulled out his wand, grinning evilly.

“Locomotor Mortis!” he called gleefully, swiping his wand.

Neville’s legs stuck together right away and the poor boy fell flat on his face. Harry had to cover his mouth to muffle his giggles. It was a pretty basic curse, but the Leg-Locker-Curse did its job pretty well. As Neville tried to bunny-hop away, Harry approached his friend, sending a mean stinging hex at Longbottom’s ass to make him fall over again.

“Nice. Basic, but nice,” he commented smirking.

“Not everything needs to be fancy and colorful, Quinn,” Draco said, rolling his eyes.

“So I’ve been told,” Harry hummed amused.  
“Say, any idea why Snape suddenly wants to referee?”

Draco scowled confused.

“Uncle Severus doesn’t particularly care for Quidditch, so no.”

“Maybe Hermione was right and he wants to kill me,” Harry teased.

Draco tensed and he glared angrily at Harry.

“He does not!” he defended his Godfather.

“If you say so. But if he kills me, I’m soooo haunting you!”

“Whatever, Quinn. Let’s just go back to the dungeons before those Gryffindorks come avenge their House idiot,” Draco said, rolling his eyes.

“You guys go ahead. I have something I want to do first,” Harry replied grinning.

“Just don’t get us in trouble, alright?” Draco warned.

“Can’t promise anything~”

“Quinn!”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry walked into the Girl’s Lavatories on the second floor. He’d heard it wasn’t in use anymore for some reason. Maybe because of what happened 49 years ago, but that would be really stupid…

“WHAT are you doing here?!” a girl suddenly screeched from behind him.

Harry jumped and gave an embarrassing girly squeal. He quickly turned around, wand at the ready, but relaxed when he saw it was the spirit of a girl. From her clothes, he was pretty sure she had been a student here before she died.

“I got lost!” he explained quickly, his eyes widened innocently.  
“Shouldn’t I be here? I’m so sorry! But um… who are you?”

“You mean you don’t know me?!” the girl wailed.  
“I’m Myrtle! Ugly, silly, miserable, Moaning Myrtle!”

Harry’s eyes widened in shock at that. Myrtle. As in Myrtle Warren, Tom Riddle’s first victim… he started smirking as he realized he was indeed at the right place. He quickly covered it up by smiling innocently at the ghost of his uncle’s victim.

“I’m Harry Quinn, nice to meet you, Myrtle!” he greeted happily.

Myrtle scowled and floated closer to Harry, eyeing him warily.

“No one is ever happy to meet me,” she muttered suspicious.

“If you want me to leave, I’ll leave,” Harry told her shrugging.  
“But you seem really nice, so I hoped we could be friends…”

Myrtle’s eyes widened comically and she stared at Harry in pure shock.

“You-you really mean that?” she whispered.

Harry’s smile widened. His dad was right. The bitch was way too easy to win over.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry sighed happily and grabbed his notebook from his trunk. He was sure his dad would love to hear about the new acquaintance he’d made that day.

_[Guess who I met today?]_

_[Kid, I’m not in the mood for fucking games. Just tell me.]_

Harry chuckled and shook his head. His dad had gotten a lot meaner without his mom around to ground him. He’d gotten arrested a few more times too, which probably was the reason that he was so angry all the time. But maybe Harry could cheer him up a bit with his new friend.

_[Myrtle Warren’s ghost.]_

It took several minutes before Harry finally got a reply from his dad.

_[That stupid dolt actually stayed behind?]_

_[Yeah! I wanted to go to the Chamber, because I haven’t had the chance to all year, but she haunts the lavatories, so I couldn’t.]_

_[You’ll get another chance. Maybe next year. Make it an anniversary thing.]_

Harry threw his head back and laughed loudly, startling all the other boys in the room who were trying to fall asleep. Draco sat up in his bed and glared at Harry with sleepy eyes. The fact that he was wearing soft green silk pajamas didn’t really help make him look intimidating either.

“What the hell, Quinn?!” he growled.

“Sorry,” Harry chuckled amused.  
“My bedtime story had a funny plot.”

.              .              .               .              .

The next morning had Harry sneak off to the forbidden corridor on the third floor and Fluffy. He absolutely adored the giant monster dog, even though he knew it could easily maul him if he got too close. That didn’t mean he didn’t try though.

Grinning like a maniac, he snuck closer to the growling Cerberus and held out his hand carefully. Fluffy growled in warning and charged forward, snapping the jaws of the middle head towards Harry’s hand, but he jumped back in time, giggling in pure joy as he tried again. He got the same result.

He eventually gave up when the right head had scraped his huge canines against Harry’s leg, scratching it open and he quickly got back out of the corridor, heart beating hard in his chest and cheeks blushing a bright pink in excitement. He was breathing heavily from having to dance out of the way of those strong, murderous jaws all the time. This was definitely the best kind of exercise ever. Good thing Draco and Blaise didn’t know this was what he did when they didn’t come with.

After that, Harry used his Cloak and the fact that Dumbledore hadn’t changed his password yet to sneak into the Headmaster’s office. He immediately went for the bowl of lemon drops and vanished the contents. It had been one of the first spells his dad had taught him before sending him to Hogwarts. It was useful to be able to vanish things in his profession after all. To hide the evidence.

Harry pulled out a bag of new lemon drops, these ones spiked with a nice amount of Nonsense Potion, and placed them in the bowl instead. The potion would make that whoever consumed them wouldn’t be able to form sensible sentences, and knowing Dumbledore, it would take a while before anyone would realize he was being dozed with it, if anyone ever figured it out in the first place.

Harry had originally wanted to transfigure the bowl in a large toy duck that would laugh at the worst moments, but unfortunately, Harry had no idea how to go about that. Transfigurations weren’t exactly his best class, though he wasn’t bad at it either.

Satisfied with his work, Harry snuck back out of the office and went back towards the dungeons. Just a shower, breakfast and then it was back to the Quidditch Pitch to play the game. Harry already couldn’t wait.

.              .              .               .              .

Finally, the time for the Slytherin vs Hufflepuff game would start. As the Slytherin team walked into the pit, Harry was once again overwhelmed by the loud cheers of everyone around him and he looked at the bleachers. He saw his Slytherin peers of course, all dressed proudly in their House colors and holding large banners to cheer them on. Among the Gryffindors, Harry saw Hermione and the Weasley Twins, also holding up a large silver and green banner with the name ‘QUINN’ written in large, flashing letters.

The Hufflepuff team seemed honestly surprised when they saw Harry walking into the pitch wearing Seeker garb instead of that of a Beater. Harry was grinning widely, and so was Lucian Bole, who was now back to being a Beater with Harry having switched positions. The Hufflepuff Seeker, a fourth year boy Harry believed was called Diggory, walked forward to shake Harry’s hand while the Hufflepuff Captain, who Harry though went by the name of Sadie Hollow, shook hands with Flint.

“I thought you were a Beater,” Diggory said.

Harry chuckled and ruffled his hair as he gave the older teen a shrug.

“I like to switch it up,” he replied smirking.  
“And I’m good for both anyway, so why not, right?”

Diggory smiled at him, and Harry could see two of the girls on the Hufflepuff team blush. He almost rolled his eyes. Lovesick dorks.

“Well then, Harry. May the best man win!” he said.

“Oh, I will, don’t worry!” Harry laughed as he mounted his broom.

As Snape gave the signal, Harry pushed off and soared up, flying higher and faster than anyone else on the field. He looked around, watching around for the Snitch. It looked like a pretty boring job, but from where he was, he could see the entire game happening beneath him, which was a pretty cool experience. Snape was just flying around between the teams, and almost immediately found something wrong with the Hufflepuff Chasers and gave the Slytherins a free shot. However, the Hufflepuff Keeper could stop the Quaffle.

Just then, Harry spotted the golden glow very close to the ground that could only be the Snitch. Harry looked over to Diggory and grinned. The Hufflepuff Seeker was still way too far away to even have a chance. It was a bit anticlimactic, but Harry wasn’t going to look a gifted horse into the mouth.

He dove right down, making sure to fly close enough to Snape to nearly shove him off his broom. He dove down further and caught the Snitch only half a foot above the ground before pulling up again. He held up the Snitch, causing everyone to scream and cheer in happiness while Harry made a few loopdy-loops to show off.

He landed under loud applause, making Harry grin widely and bow towards the crowd teasingly. Just for the heck of it, he did a backwards summersault and a few cartwheels as well while the other players all landed around him. he could see Pucey and Diggory were both laughing at Harry’s enthusiasm, while Flint and a few others smiled amused and the young boy’s antics.

“How long was that? 5 minutes?” Harry asked grinning as he walked up to his team.

“That was amazing, Quinn!” Flint laughed.  
“Shortest game in years, it has to be!”

“You should just stay Seeker if you’re this good,” Bole said grinning.

Harry laughed and handed the Snitch to Snape, who just glared at him.

“Oh no. Higgs can keep his position,” he said smirking.  
“I’m satisfied with just once. Maybe Chaser next time.”

“Quinn…” Flint warned him with a tired sigh.

“What?! Seeker is pretty boring like this, and Ravenclaw has a bad one anyway,” Harry complained.  
“And I’m definitely playing Beater again, but maybe not right away. At least let me see what it’s like to dive away from the Bludger instead of chasing after it!”

“We’ll talk about it later,” Flint caved.

“But now, we celebrate!” Pucey grinned, clapping Harry on the back.

 


	30. Just Some Harmless Fun

Harry didn’t even bother with the Hogwarts Express to go home over Easter. He hid in his bed, drew the curtains around him and just opened his notebook, telling his dad he was ready to go home. He’d barely written it or he was already pulled in by the activated Portkey and ended up in the Joker’s hide-out. Since his homework was piled up in mountains, he had no choice but spend most of his time studying, and only could go out twice as Child’s Play. Both times were short and disappointing, since Robin only showed up once, and just when they were already leaving.

Aunt Ivy gladly helped him with his Herbology assignment and asked Harry to bring back some magical plants for her after the year was done. Joker actually helped him with Potions and Transfigurations, much to Harry’s surprise.

“I’ve always been a pretty mediocre student, but that was more for lack of interest than lack of brains…” Joker told him chuckling.  
“Now Tommy, that was a genius! Best in every class, except Potions. That one was fun, so I did my work like a proper student. I would probably have become a Potions Master if I’d done my NEWT year…”

During the Easter holiday, he also went boxing with Two-Face or the first time, causing him to walk around with a huge black eye, which Joker put a glamour over to hide. That was a good thing too, because Harry met up with Dick the next day, and it wouldn’t be good if he’d seen the large bruise.

He also found out that Mr. Johnson had a nervous breakdown after two weeks of being ‘haunted’ by Harry. Dick’s new teacher was a young man that had only recently graduated from college. He was very cheerful and friendly and had a cool and creative way of teaching. Dick and the other students adored him.

He also met up with Barbara again, who had slapped him and told him that she hated him for lying to her about coming back. After an explanation, Barbara had just huffed and said that she’d have helped out if they only had told her the truth. With that, both Harry and Dick had hung their heads and apologized.

On the last day, Harry went back the way he had come. The best part was Draco’s shriek the next morning when Harry woke him up and asked if he wanted to go on a morning run with him. But that might also have been partly the snake curled up on Draco’s chest, watching him curiously.

“How the hell did you get here?!” the blond shouted, waking everyone up.

“I… slept here?” Harry asked confused.  
“I’ve been here since last night! Didn’t you see me?”

Of course Draco hadn’t. Harry had arrived only minutes before midnight.

“No! When we went to sleep, you weren’t here!” Draco hissed.  
“How the bloody hell did you do that?! You sure weren’t on the train!”

“Then how else could I have gotten back?” Harry asked him amused.  
“Silly Draco! You know I can’t _apparate_ into the school!”

Draco glowered and turned around on his bed. This caused Malinda to fall off his bed, making the snake hiss indignantly.

“Go away, Quinn!” he grumbled.  
“I want to go back to sleep and dream of a world without you in it!”

“Hurtful!” Harry said pouting, picking his pet/friend up.  
“C’mon Malinda! We know when we’re not wanted!”

.              .              .               .              .

Draco regretted letting Harry leave on his own the second he walked into the Great Hall two hours later. Honestly, how the purple haired boy had been able to get a unicycle into the school, he had no idea, but there he was, back up on that rope riding the unicycle while juggling four colorful juggling pins.

The students and teachers were more or less used to Harry’s antics by now, so there weren’t too many who were worried about his safety – or they were, but they’d grown used to Harry putting himself in danger all the time so they didn’t bother to try and call him out on it anymore.

Snape was sitting at the teacher’s table, looking very sour while Harry ripped exclamations of awe and shock from his peers every few seconds with his tricks. Dumbledore was watching with a bright smile and a twinkle in his eyes and applauded and cheered probably even louder than most of the students. The other teachers all looked on with horror in their eyes, probably fearing Harry’s demise any minute.

At one point, it looked like Harry would indeed fall, but he was able to regain balance just in time, though he did drop one of the pins, which landed on Longbottom’s foot, causing the boy to cry out in pain.

“Sorry!” Harry called down, not pausing at all as he continued juggling with three pins instead.  
“I’d get some salve on that though! These things are heavy as fuck! Don’t want you walking around with a possibly broken toe.”

Longbottom nodded pained and allowed Ron and Hermione to help him get to the Hospital Wing. Draco snickered and looked back up, grinning when he saw Harry wink at him. Luckily, no one else noticed.

After a while, Harry came down under loud applause. This time, he didn’t need to use the net and just climbed down a ladder on the right side of the rope, his unicycle in hand and the three remaining pins hanging off his belt. As both his feet were planted on the ground again, he bowed deeply for the cheering student body, before doing the same for Dumbledore, who was giving him a standing ovation.

“Brava! Happy Birthday! Fifty points to Slytherin for this wondrous evening show!” the Headmaster cried out.

This caused the Slytherin table to start applauding again. Harry laughed joyously and put his pins and unicycle in a moleskin pouch he had been gifted by his dad for New Year. After that, he went to stand on his hands and walked towards the table like that. He only got back to his feet as he reached Draco and sat down next to him.

“Lucky Snape didn’t tell me to come down again,” he said cheerfully.  
“I forgot to put the net up, and I only _just_ realized this!”

His friends all looked at him in horror, making Harry grin even wider. Draco just grunted annoyed. He knew Harry liked the way everyone reacted to his antics, and that was probably exactly why he did the things he did. That’s why Draco promised himself not to react like Harry wanted anymore.

After breakfast, Harry went back to walking on his hands, making Draco frown confused.

“What the hell are you doing now, Quinn?” he asked.

“I’ve decided to try and walk like this a whole day!”

“That’s impossible,” Blaise commented smirking.  
“Your arms will get tired and you’ll get dizzy from all the blood rushing to your head.”

“Wanna bet?” Harry asked smirking, looking up at the Italian pureblood.

“Alright. On what are we betting, Quinn?” Blaise replied with a smug grin.

“Five Chocolate Frogs!”

Draco shook his head in exasperation.

“Don’t do it, Blaise,” he warned.  
“Quinn has some supernatural talent on doing things that shouldn’t be possible.”

He went ignored, not for the first time as Blaise smirked at Harry.

“Deal,” he said.

By the end of the day, Blaise was indeed five Chocolate Frogs poorer.

.              .              .               .              .

The following month was pretty boring all in all. He went to classes, fucked around, making his teachers’ lives unbearable, like a good student should, and got some more detention. Other than that, he had Hermione hounding him to do his homework properly while Draco tried his hardest to keep Harry away from the muggleborn Gryffindor. It was amusing to see the two compete, not only for his attention, but for better grades too. In every single class they had together. And the others too, if Harry was able to mention the other’s talent.

The funniest was watching them make a better potion than the other, especially since Harry had a good enough knowledge to fuck things up for both of them. He usually worked with Draco, while Hermione teamed up with Ron Weasley, who hated Draco even more than Hermione did.

When no one was watching, Harry tended to add other ingredients in both his and Draco’s potions, and in the ones of Ron and Hermione, just to see the reaction. Once, he’d gotten Ron’s stirring rod to grow hair, and another time, his own potion sprouted a rainbow. However, when Harry made it rain in the classroom, Snape finally snapped.

“Mr. Potter! What do you think you are doing?!” he asked in a high pitched tone.

Harry opened his mouth to remind his professor that he _wasn’t_ Potter anymore, but Draco shook his head frantically. Grinning, Harry shrugged and looked down at his hand, where he was still holding the jar of Salamander eyes.

“Adding Salamander Eyes to the potion, sir,” he replied.

“Wideye Potion doesn’t need any Salamander Eyes,” Snape bit out, striding over.

“I know, sir, but I heard that if you do, you create an Unfortunate Weather Potion, and I wanted to test it out.”

“You realize that you did this at the cost of your partner’s grade?” the Potions Master asked darkly.

At that, Draco’s eyes widened before he turned towards Harry and glared at him.

“Stop messing around, Quinn!” he hissed angrily.

“Oh come on! It’s just some harmless fun!” Harry cried out.  
“Can’t I get some credit for testing out a hypothesis and see if a potion, that only exists in hearsay and proving it to be true?!”

“No. Detention, Mr. Potter,” Snape growled.  
“You are just like your father. Such a disgrace to the wizarding community.”

“Sure! I guess, kinda… but he could have been a Potions Master if he had decided to go for his Mastery, you know? So he’d just be proud of me for testing out a new potion,” Harry replied shrugging.

Snape’s eyes widened and he started laughing, low and quiet, but that was only more scary than when he would have gone into a mad cackle.

“Your father was nothing!” the teacher hissed angrily.  
“He was a bully, a slacker and he never took anything serious! Him and his friends! Useless pieces of shits the lot of them!”

Harry’s eyes widened dramatically.

“You know my dad?!” he asked shocked.

“I had the misfortune of going to school with that useless waste of breath.”

“Huh… I thought you were a bit younger than that…” Harry muttered thoughtfully.  
“I guess you aged well. Almost as well as dad, to be fair… you don’t look a day over 50!”

Snape’s eyes narrowed considerably while most of the other students gasped in horror.

“Shut up Quinn, just _please_ shut up!” Draco muttered desperately, but he went ignored.

“You know, I told my dad about you, but he never mentioned he knew you… weird… you should have been Housemates right? So it stands that he should have remembered you…” Harry went on undisturbed.

“Your father is James Potter, no matter what you try to tell yourself, Mr. _Potter_!” Snape spat.

All cheer suddenly disappeared from Harry’s face and he stared coldly at his teacher. Draco gasped in fear and took a step back when he felt the sudden dark air around Harry intensifying rapidly until it almost suffocated anyone standing too close with its intensity.

“Yet I am not James Potter, no matter what _you_ tell yourself, _Professor_ ,” Harry said blankly.  
“No matter what crimes he committed against you during your school time, it’s unfair that you push them onto me. I don’t give a shit that he made you cry 20 years ago, or that he stole your fucking Barbie doll or whatever. I won’t let you bully me just because I have his fucking face. You’ll find, _sir_ , that pissing me off, can be a _very_ dangerous endeavor and I suggest you back down before it’s too late.”

“Get out of my classroom, Potter,” Snape whispered in a strangled voice.

Harry gave the man a chilling smile and stood up from his seat.

“If that’s what you want…” he said calmly.  
“In fact, you won’t see me again until the exams in two months. I’ll study by myself.”

With that, he walked out of the room, slamming the door loud enough to make the entire class flinch.

.              .              .               .              .

“QUINN! What the hell is wrong with you!” Draco screamed as he entered the dorm that evening.

Harry looked up from his Potions textbook, which he was reading with a colorful marker in hand to mark everything informative. Next to him on the bed, Malinda lifted her head and her tongue slipped out, tasting the air, making Draco stop his approach hesitantly.

“A lot of things. Be more specific,” Harry replied blankly.

“With Professor Snape!” Draco hissed furiously.  
“Why did you have to do that?! He was so bloody angry that he took a total of 150 points from Gryffindor and gave Weasley, Finnegan, Longbottom and Brown detention!”

“So? Those are all Gryffindors. What’s the big problem?” Harry asked him.

“Snape was _angry_ , Quinn! It was _scary_!” Draco hissed angrily.

Harry looked over at Malinda with a confused face, and the snake blinked back at him before the two of them turned back towards Draco and stared at him with innocent big eyes. It was pretty creepy and Draco had to fight the urge to step back.

“But… he only took it out on Gryffindor, right?” Harry pressed.

“Well… yeah, but…”

“You’re welcome~”

Draco sighed annoyed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You are impossible,” the blonde grumbled.

“So I’ve been told before!” Harry laughed.  
“Now let’s go to bed I guess. I’ll wake you up again at 6 so we can go for a run.”

Draco groaned loudly at that, making Harry just laugh again.

.              .              .               .              .

That Friday, Harry found himself in the Potions classroom again, for detention this time. He wasn’t alone either, but together with four Gryffindors, all looking angrily in his direction. Harry stayed calm under the scrutiny, and watched Snape with a pleasant smile on his face. Today, Slytherin was supposed to play against Ravenclaw, but Flint had to bring in a reserve Chaser, since Harry couldn’t play.

That was alright to Harry though, since there had been decided that he’d have to play Beater again anyway, and he had been planning on injuring _every single player_ on the Ravenclaw team. His own teammates knew this too, which was probably why Flint hadn’t scolded him for getting in trouble… again.

“You five will clean up all the cauldrons in the room and make up stock of all ingredients in the cabinet,” Snape told them.  
“None of you will leave here until you are fully done. Am I clear?”

“Yes sir!” they all said in chorus.

Finnegan and Ron muttered the words reluctantly, while Longbottom and Brown said them in a fearful squeak, and Harry nearly yelled it while saluting his Head of House. Snape glared again in his direction before he turned around and swept out of the room.

“Well then!” Harry said, standing up and stretching.  
“You guys clean, I take up stock, sound good? Good.”

“And why should you do stock while we have to do the hard work?” Finnegan asked annoyed.  
“Do you think that because you’re a dirty Slytherin and we’re Gryffindors, you can boss us around?”

Harry let his arms drop and looked blankly towards the angry looking boy.

“Are you seriously that full of shit?” he asked in near awe.  
“Alright. One, have you seen the fucking cabinet? Taking stock is _not_ an easy task and I’m the one that knows the most names of those things, and I had an advanced mathematical education, so I’m the best one to do it. Two, I only showered this morning, so I’m clean, thank you very much. And three, since there are four snake-hating Gryffs in this room and only one of me, I figured that it would be in everyone’s best interest if I removed myself from your surroundings.”

With that, he left the dumbstruck Gryffindors to their own and walked into the large walk in cabinet where a few thousand jars, pots and flasks stood on shelves. Harry looked them all over calmly before cracking his knuckles.

“Let’s get this party started!” he muttered determinedly.

Harry was never the most organized person there was. In fact, he had always been a lover of chaos, even in his own life. As such, he was probably the worst match to do a job like this, but he _really_ didn’t want to be around all those Gryffindors, and Ron would probably try to have him stop being friends with Draco.

Luckily, Harry hadn’t lied about the match and the potion name stuff. He took a deep breath and started counting. He used the self-writing quill to not down all the numbers, while keeping an eye out for rare ingredients he would like to have himself. When he did, he put them in his robes and then dictated the new number to the quill, who wrote it down dutifully. If Harry was lucky, Snape would never know he’d taken anything at all.

It still took him about two hours to finish, and it would have been even longer if Lavender Brown hadn’t joined him during the last half hour. She was very excitable and didn’t stop talking the entire time, and while Harry was ready to strangle her when they were done, he had to admit she was very organized and helpful. Because of that, he bowed down for her and kissed the back of her hand before departing. It was satisfying to know that he left her blushing.

“Had fun with the Gryffindorks?” Draco asked lazily as Harry returned to the dorm.

“Oh yeah! We had great fun! It was like a mini party in the classroom!” Harry replied grinning.  
“Ron and I bonded over our mutual love for wizarding chess and telling each other embarrassing stuff about you.”

The smug expression was immediately wiped from Draco’s face and he glowered at Harry, who just grinned innocently at him. Blaise, who was sitting opposite from Draco as the two of them were coincidentally playing wizarding chess themselves, chuckled amused.

“I swear to Salazar, Quinn. You’re sense of humor is giving me migraines,” Draco grumbled.

 


	31. Through the Trapdoor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's first year is coming to an end and with the exams out of the way, the young Prince Heir of Crime has the chance to play around some with the Sorcerer's Stone.

Exams, Harry decided were the most boring times in the whole year, and that said something since he’d suffered through History of Magic and Astronomy. It was incredibly hot, especially in the large classroom where they did their written papers. They had been given special, new quills for the exams, which had been bewitched with an AntiCheating spell.

Professor McGonagall had taken Harry aside to press him on the importance to use the name Potter on his official exam papers, since that was the name he was registered in. Eventually, after a lot of stubborn bickering, she had agreed on Potter/Quinzel instead.

They had practical exams as well. Professor Flitwick called them one by one into his class to see if they could make a pineapple tap-dance across a desk. Professor McGonagall watched them turn a mouse into a snuffbox – points were given for how pretty the snuffbox was, but taken away if it had whiskers. Snape made them all nervous, breathing down their necks while they tried to remember how to make a Forgetfulness potion. Harry had chuckled at that and asked Snape if he wanted to taste it to see if he’d done it right, which probably lost him some points, but who the fuck cared? He was going to succeed anyway, and he didn’t need all O’s, unlike Hermione.

Their very last exam was History of Magic. One hour of answering questions about batty old wizards who'd invented self-stirring cauldrons and they'd be free, free for a whole wonderful week until their exam results came out. When the ghost of Professor Binns told them to put down their quills and roll up their parchment, Harry cheered loudest of everyone and even conjured confetti, just to show off how happy he was it was finally over.

"That was far easier than I thought it would be," Hermione said as joined Harry and his friends out onto the sunny grounds.  
"I needn't have learned about the 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct or the uprising of Elfric the Eager."

“Always the teacher’s pet, aren’t you Granger?” Pansy hissed.

“If you never heard of magic, and suddenly ended up in Hogwarts, wouldn’t you spend all your time studying?” Harry asked shrugging.  
“I mean, imagine! You guys always go on about how superior magic is, and here a muggleborn is eagerly learning all she can about it to better fit in our world, and you’re still unhappy.”

“Because she is a mudblood, she doesn’t belong here,” Draco muttered, rolling his eyes.

Hermione was almost in tears at that, making Harry sigh long-suffering.

“That’s just stupid! How do you think they get magic? You think she got it from sucking out a wizard’s soul?” Harry asked the others.  
“She’s a descendant of wizards just like the rest of us. My dad told me that all muggleborns have a Squib as ancestor and the dormant magic just wakes up again or something.”

That had the others shut up, and Draco, Pany and Blaise scowled in thought while Hermione beamed happily at the purple haired boy. Harry just smiled back and rubbed his scar, which had been hurting him all day, though he tried his best not to show it. Even now, he disguised the act by ruffling through his own hair again, like he did so often.

Shortly after that, Pansy and Blaise left them to join the other Slytherins while the Weasley twins walked up to them. Harry chuckled when he saw Draco’s unhappy scowl, so he patted the grass next to him in an invitation for the two older redheads to sit with them. Draco was just too fun to rile up.

“Hello there Harry, Hermione, Blondie!” one of the two greeted, making Draco’s scowl deepen.

“How did the ickle first years do in their exams?” the other one asked teasingly.

“Pretty sure I don’t have a single failed class, though I’m still doubting with History,” Harry said shrugging.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I did great! All E’s at least,” Draco said haughtily.

Harry knew he was lying there. He knew perfectly well that Draco had been worried about Transfigurations, though from what Harry had seen, he’d done a pretty good job and would have at least an A for it. Poor Draco though was fearing a P.

“Just asking,” the one who had sat down on Harry’s right shrugged.

“And do we need our little study head how she’d done or can we expect all O’s?” the one on his left asked teasingly.

Hermione blushed brightly at that and gave a weak shrug.

“It went fine,” she mumbled.

After that, Fred and George left again, wishing them all luck with the results, even Draco, though they also warned him that they _would_ be teasing him if he had anything under E, like he had said. This left the blonde fuming and paler than he usually was. Another sting stabbed through Harry’s forehead, and he couldn’t stop the pained hiss from escaping him, gaining the attention of his two bickering friends.

“Are you alright, Harry?” Hermione asked worried.

“Does he look bloody alright to you?” Draco hissed.  
“If your scar is hurting, Quinn, we should go see Madam Pomfrey.”

“I’d rather chew off my own leg,” Harry deadpanned.  
“No. This just means Voldemort is not far off.”

This had both the other first years pale drastically in fear and horror. Harry chuckled and rubbed his scar again while the pain slowly subsided.

“You know, if I was a Dark Lord, supposedly vanquished, very likely incredibly weakened, and definitely terrified of death, I’d go after the Sorcerer’s Stone. Or let one of my minions get it for me.”

“You-you think You-Know-Who is after the Stone?” Hermione asked shakily.

“Yup! And if the sudden headache is any indicator. He’d do it soon. Tonight,” Harry decided.  
“So, we should get there first.”

“What the hell do you mean ‘we’, Quinzel?!” Draco exclaimed horrified.

“Fine stay and piss your bed,” Harry shrugged.  
“What about you, Hermione? Are you coming?”

Hermione squared her shoulders bravely and nodded her head.

“If you’re going, I’m going!” she said determined.

“Ugh! Fine, I’ll come too,” Draco groaned.  
“Salazar knows you’ll just get yourself killed without me, Quinn.”

.              .              .               .              .

“We should just leave without the mudblood!” Draco hissed annoyed.

Harry rolled his eyes but stayed quiet as he stared intensely at the portrait of the Fat Lady, which Hermione had told him was the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. The both of them were waiting for Hermione, hidden under Harry Invisibility Cloak.

After a few more minutes of waiting, the painting swung open and a very pale-faced Hermione stepped out the round hole behind it. Harry grinned and took the cloak off him and Draco to let Hermione know where they were. The brunette’s face lit up at the sight of him and she rushed over so Harry could cover all three of them again.

“What took you so long?!” Draco asked in a low hiss.

“Neville saw me leave,” Hermione whispered shakily.  
“I had to stun him. I didn’t have any other choice.”

They quickly took off towards the third floor, but Harry had to use one of the secret passages after seeing Mrs. Norris on the way. Draco and Hermione had been shocked of course, but Harry refused to explain how he knew about it. He’d preferred not to tell anyone about these, but it was easier than sneaking past the stupid Kneazel.

They didn't meet anyone else until they reached the staircase up to the third floor. Peeves was bobbing halfway up, loosening the carpet so that people would trip.

"Who's there?" he asked suddenly as they climbed toward him narrowing his eyes.  
"Know you're there, even if I can't see you. Are you ghoulie or ghostie or wee student beastie?"

He rose up in the air and floated there, squinting at them.

"Should call Filch, I should, if something's a-creeping around unseen."

Harry had a sudden idea.

“Peeves," he said, in a hoarse whisper.  
“The Bloody Baron has his own reasons for being invisible.”

Peeves almost fell out of the air in shock. He caught himself in time and hovered about a foot off the stairs.

“So sorry, your bloodiness, Mr. Baron, Sir," he said hastily.  
“My mistake, my mistake – I didn't see you – of course I didn't, you're invisible – forgive old Peevsie his little joke, sir.”

“I have business here, Peeves," croaked Harry.  
“Stay away from this place tonight."

“I will, sir, I most certainly will," Peeves said, rising up in the air again.  
“Hope your business goes well, Baron, I'll not bother you."

And he scooted off.

“How’d you think to do that?!” Draco asked.

“Every prankster and bully has someone they’re scared off,” Harry shrugged.

“Who’re you scared off?” Hermione asked curiously.

“My dad,” Harry replied with a shudder.

As they arrived at the third floor corridor, they found the door already slightly ajar, making Harry softly curse. If someone else got it before him… He wanted that stone for himself, dammit! All the things he could do with it… The praises and rewards he’d get from his dad as he brought it home…

As the door creaked, low, rumbling growls met their ears. All three of the dog's noses sniffed madly in their direction, even though it couldn't see them.

“What's that at its feet?" Hermione asked whispering.

“Looks like a harp," Draco mumbled.  
“You-Know-Who must have left it there.”

Harry slapped his forehead in exasperation.

“Fucking dog goes to sleep with a lullaby,” he muttered chuckling.  
“Of course we got to sing the big scary dog to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Hermione asked quietly.  
“What if it doesn’t work?”

Harry grinned shrugging and started to whistle a soft tune. Like he had expected, the dogs eyes – all six of them – started to droop and soon enough, he was fast asleep. The trio shrugged the cloak off, and while Harry kept up his whistling, Hermione and Draco walked over to the trapdoor.

Harry, still whistling, approached the large Cerberus and buried his hand in the thick fur. He grinned, stuttering in his musical show, causing the dog to open one eye, but Harry quickly started up again. He started scratching behind the ear of the left head, and it’s tongue fell out of his mouth, panting happily. Fluffy whined in his sleep and rolled over on his back, showing Harry his belly.

“You’re not going to do what I think you’re going to do, right?” Draco asked shakily.

Harry didn’t reply and move to rub the Cerberus’ belly. All three heads had their tongue’s lolling out of their large mouths and they panted all in unison. Draco sighed in defeat and turned away while Hermione stared wide-eyed at Harry. It was pretty obvious that Draco was more used to his friend than Hermione was, even though she was still less fazed than most other students and teachers.

“I think we'll be able to pull the door open,” Draco said.  
“Ladies first, right Granger?”

“No! You be the brave man and go first!” the brunette girl hissed.

“Now where did that famous Gryffindor courage go all of a sudden? Left it in your dorm?”

Harry chuckled and stopped whistling. Almost immediately, the dog started waking up, but Harry didn’t pay it any mind and jumped down, laughing joyfully. He could hear the dog growl and bark before Hermione and Draco jumped screaming after him.

Harry was still giggling like mad as he landed on something soft, only moments before Hermione and Draco did the same. He gave his two friends a crooked grin, for as much as he could see them in the dark without his cool Child’s Play goggles.

“Are you bloody insane, Quinn?!” Draco raged.

“Yes. I though we already went over that,” Harry replied innocently.  
“And it wasn’t that bad, right? We’re alive, no broken bones thanks to this plant stuff.”

“Yeah. We’re pretty bloody lucky,” Draco muttered reluctantly.

“Lucky!” Hermione shrieked.  
“Look at you both!”

She leapt up and struggled toward a damp wall. She had to struggle because the moment she had landed, the plant had started to twist snakelike tendrils around her ankles. As for Harry and Draco, their legs had already been bound tightly in long creepers without their noticing.

Harry’s eyes widened as he recognized the plant and laughed again, making Draco, who was trying to struggle free, stare at him as if he was insane. Which he was, but that was beside the point.

“Devil’s Snare!” he exclaimed.  
“I was planning on buying it for my aunt, she loves plants. Especially ones that kill.”

“Kill?!” Draco asked horrified, struggling even harder.

“Yeah! It kills you faster when you struggle. Relax!” Harry laughed.

“Faster?! And how do we kill it?!” Draco shouted panicked.

Harry scowled. He really should have tried to remember that part too…

"Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare... what did Professor Sprout say? – it likes the dark and the damp…” Hermione mumbled, trying to remember how to kill it.

At this point, Harry couldn’t really breathe anymore with the plant’s tendrils wrapping around his throat. He was slowly starting to panic too. But really, that only made him laugh more.

“Kill-… kill it with fire!” he choked out between giggles.

"Yes of course but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.

“HAVE YOU GONE MAD?” Draco bellowed.  
“ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?”

“Oh, right!” Hermione exclaimed, brightening up.

She whipped out her wand, waved it, muttered something, and sent a jet of blue flames she had used at the plant. In a matter of seconds, the two boys felt it loosening its grip as it cringed away from the light and warmth. Wriggling and flailing, it unraveled itself from their bodies, and they were able to pull free.

“And people said Herbology is a useless class,” Harry chuckled as he and Draco joined Hermione by the wall.

“Try and keep your head in the game, Granger,” Draco hissed angrily.  
“No wood? Are you trying to get us killed?! I’ve always known that muggle raised people were idiots…”

Harry just laughed at his two friends and walked down the only path. They’d follow him. Or not. Their choice really. He could hear two sets off feet patter behind him and he snickered again. They continued through the dark, slightly downward curving path until they started to hear a soft sound.

“What’s that?” Draco asked curiously.

“Sounds like wings to me,” Hermione muttered frowning.

They reached the end of the passageway and saw before them a brilliantly lit chamber, its ceiling arching high above them. It was full of small, jewel-bright birds, fluttering and tumbling all around the room. On the opposite side of the chamber was a heavy wooden door.

“You think they’ll attack us as we cross?” Draco asked.

“Dunno,” Harry muttered.

It would be too easy if they just had to walk to the other side, and while those birdies could do _some_ damage with attacking, they were too small to be a real danger, even if they all attacked together. No, if the last two obstacles were anything to go by, this had to be harder. Harry squinted at the birds. They had an odd shape…

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered, eyes widening.  
“Those things aren’t birds! Those are goddamn keys!”

“They’re what?!” Draco exclaimed shocked.

“Of course!” Hermione said excitedly.  
“The door on the other side is locked, and probably charmed to stand against spells. So we have to catch the key!”

“How should we know which in is the right one?” Draco asked incredulous.  
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there got to be about a hundred up there!”

“The one with the broken wing,” Harry said shrugging as he went to get the broom he’d noticed.  
“Someone else obviously already passed here, so the real key has to have some marks of already being grabbed before.”

With that, Harry pushed off and soared into the flock of keys. They all dove out of his way nimbly, but Harry was a good flier and he’d practiced his Seeker skills some extra this year for the past Hufflepuff match. After a minute's weaving about through the whirl of rainbow feathers, he noticed a large silver key that had a bent wing, as if it had already been caught and stuffed roughly into the keyhole.

Eyes glinting in excitement, Harry dove after it and chased it around the room at the highest speed. This broom wasn’t nearly as fast as his own, but it was doing its job well enough for Harry to be able to grab it eventually. Harry quickly landed and skipped over to the door, where Hermione and Draco were already waiting for him. He rammed the struggling key unceremoniously into the lock and turned it.

The next chamber was so dark they couldn't see anything at all. But as they stepped into it, light suddenly flooded the room to reveal an astonishing sight.

They were standing on the edge of a huge chessboard, behind the black chessmen, which were all taller than they were and carved from what looked like black stone. Facing them, way across the chamber, were the white pieces. Harry raised a brow when he noticed they had no faces at all.

“So now we have to play chess?!” Draco asked incredulously.

“Yeah, no. I don’t play,” Harry drawled, pulling a few acid bombs out of his pocket.  
“If you two enjoy being skin, flesh and bones, go hide behind the black ones. The whites are getting a make-over.”

Scowling confused, Draco and Hermione did as told, and Harry calmly rolled the bombs over the floor after taking out the pins. Once he’d done that, he quickly moved back and hid behind a knight. He barely stuffed his fingers in his ears or the bombs went off with loud explosions, making both Draco and Hermione jump in fright. Grinning, Harry stood back up and peered at the white pieces. They were nearly disintegrated.

“Well that was fun,” he said chuckling.  
“C’mon! I want to get there already!”

The next room held an unconscious troll that smelt even worse than the one Harry had taken on during Halloween, and he couldn’t help but be silently grateful that he didn’t have to fight this one. Those giant creeps weren’t worth his time.

The room after that didn’t look very intimidating at all, since it was completely empty except for a table in the middle with seven differently shaped bottles standing on it in a line. Harry silently checked all the teachers who were suspected to be part of this off in his head. Fluffy was Hagrid, the Devil’s Snare was Professor Sprout, the charmed keys were Flitwick, transfigured chess set McGonagall and the troll was Quirrel. Obviously, this one was Snape and probably the last one.

They stepped over the threshold, and immediately a fire sprang up behind them in the doorway. It wasn't ordinary fire either; it was purple. At the same instant, black flames shot up in the doorway leading onward. They were trapped.

"Look!" Hermione seized a roll of paper lying next to the bottles.

Both Harry and Draco stepped up behind her to read over the brunette girl’s shoulders.

_Danger lies before you, while safety lies behind,_

_Two of us will help you, whichever you would find,_  
One among us seven will let you move ahead,  
Another will transport the drinker back instead,  
Two among our number hold only nettle wine,  
Three of us are killers, waiting bidden in line.

_Choose, unless you wish to stay here forevermore,  
To help you in your choice, we give you these clues four:_

_First, however slyly the poison tries to hide  
You will always find some on nettle wine's left side;_

_Second, different are those who stand at either end,  
But if you would move onward, neither is your friend;_

_Third, as you see clearly, all are different size,  
Neither dwarf nor giant holds death in their insides;_

_Fourth, the second left and the second on the right  
Are twins once you taste them, though different at first sight._

Hermione let out a great sigh and Harry, amazed, saw that she was smiling. He was doing pretty much the same. The Riddler had him practice all kinds of riddles, and something told him that Hermione wasn’t that bad with them either.

“Brilliant,” Hermione breathed in excitement.  
“This isn't magic, it's logic, a puzzle. A lot of the greatest wizards haven't got an ounce of logic, they'd be stuck in here forever.”

Draco scoffed annoyed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I have you know that I can do this just as well as a muggle,” he growled.

All three of them leaned over the paper and started counting all the bottles in silence.

“We know the big one and the small one are safe, and that the outside ones are different, but not the ones we want,” Draco started.

Harry nodded and squinted at the bottled.

“Two times nettle wine, and three times poison, but poison is always at the left side of the wine…” he muttered.  
“The second on the right is the big bottle, so it’s not poison, but it can’t be the one we need either because it has a twin in the second to the left.”

“So those two have to be the nettle wine,” Hermione agreed.  
“Meaning that the one at the far left is poison, and the one left from the big one too.”

“But the last one with poison also has to be left from the nettle wine, right?” Draco muttered frowning.

Harry grinned and tapped the middle bottle.

“No one said _right_ next to the wine though.”

“So the tiny one gets us through!” Hermione said, clapping her hands.

Harry picked it up and scowled.

“Not a lot in it though,” he said.  
“Just enough for one. Meaning you two take the round one on the far right and head back.”

Hermione looked about ready to argue, but Draco had already grabbed the round bottle and shoved it in her hands.

“You heard Quinn. Drink,” he commanded.

Hermione glared at him, but did as told while Harry took the last girl left in the small bottle. It felt like ice entering his body, making Harry shiver. He looked back over to his friends, seeing Hermione shiver as well and he grinned as she handed the round bottle to Draco, who reluctantly took a gulp himself.

“See you on the other side,” Harry joked and waved.

He took a deep breath and quickly crossed the black fire before watching Hermione and Draco walk back through the purple ones. Grinning, Harry turned around and walked further into the last chamber. Time to face his uncle.

 


	32. The Philospher's Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet connection is especially fucky today, so I almost couldn't post :(

“Hey there!” Harry shouted in greeting at his professor.

“Ah, Quinzel. I was wondering if I would be meeting you down here,” Quirrel said gleefully.

“You know, I really expected to find Snape in here,” Harry said, raising a brow.

“Ah yes, Severus. He’s the stereotype bad guy, isn’t he? Greasy hair, house of Slytherin – where all the evil wizards come from – and that terrible, hooked nose. Who would suspect me, professor Qu… Qu… Quirrel, the poor stutterer over the big, bad, mean professor Snape,” Quirrel mocked.

“I guess it does make more sense when you think about it. Someone as weak and lame as you is easier to be roped into things like this,” Harry said, swiping the smirk of his DADA teacher’s face.  
“So I guess it was you who was trying to kill me too? You did a piss poor job of it. My dad got me closer while teaching me how to drive.”

“You are a very odd little boy, Quinzel. I can’t say I’m very fond of you at all,” Quirrel muttered.  
“But yes, it was me. I was so close to throw you off that broom until you jumped. And I would have succeeded in time if Severus wasn’t muttering a counter spell.”

At that, Harry was surprised. Snape had tried to save him? But he was the Joker’s son for a reason and instead of showing his surprise, he grinned wider, chuckling darkly to freak his teacher out. The way the man eyed him wearily, Harry would say his intentions were working. To his disappointment, Quirrel shook his discomfort off and continued his rant.

“That’s why he wanted to referee so badly, he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t do it again. Made himself quiet unpopular with that, although Minerva suspected there was more behind him than favor the Slytherins. But what a waste of time, because I’m going to kill you tonight,” he said as he snapped his fingers and made ropes spring out of thin air, wrapping themselves around Harry.  
“You’re too nosy to live, Quinzel. Scurrying around the school on Halloween like that, for all I knew you'd seen me coming to look at what was guarding the Stone.”

“So you set the Troll free?!” Harry gasped dramatically.  
“I really should have known… Birds of a feather and all…”

“Shut up, you annoying little boy!” Quirrel spat.  
“Not only did my troll fail to beat you to death, that three-headed dog didn't even manage to bite Snape's leg off properly.”

“Sounds to me like you are in need of anger management,” Harry hummed thoughtfully.  
“I can give you the number of a miracle worker. The man cured me! I hope you aren’t against electroshock therapy? Loads of fun, I promise. Once you get over the intense pain at least.”

“Shut up, Quinzel! I need to examine this mirror.”

Only then did Harry notice the Mirror of Erised standing behind Quirrel. He raised his brow in curiosity. So this was where Dumbles took the damn thing!

“The mirror is the key in finding the stone… trust Dumbledore to come up with something like this… but he's in London... I'll be far away by the time he gets back...”

Harry raised a brow and decided that Quirrel didn’t have much practice as a bad guy yet, otherwise he’d know not to reveal his entire plan in the first few minutes.

“I see myself presenting the stone to my master but where is it?!”

Harry was getting increasingly bored of being tied up. He tried the little trick his dad had taught him to escape a strait jacket, but that only seemed to make the situation worse as the ropes tightened around him instead of loosened. Harry huffed annoyed and glared at Quirrel.

“So, does Voldy always make you do his dirty work, or is this a onetime gig for you?” he asked casually.  
“Speaking of uncle Tommy, where is he? I really hoped to meet him you know. That’s why I came in the first place.”

“You have some nerve calling Lord Voldemort by such diminutive names,” Quirrel said, looking slightly awed at the little boy.

“People say I don’t have a filter for my words,” Harry shrugged.  
“What about you? I thought guys like you call him the Dark Lord.”

“It’s only the Dark Lord for the weak ones.” Quirrel spat back.

“Oh… So why don’t you say it?” Harry asked curiously.

Quirrel growled in annoyance and turned away from him, refocusing on the mirror. Harry shrugged and tried to get free again. With a little help of some low level wandless magic, he seemed to have some more success, but he had to be careful and keep Quirrel preoccupied while he tried to get out. He stumbled forward a bit when the ropes suddenly loosened several inches. Quirrel tensed up and turned back around, facing Harry, who stood stock still, hoping the man wouldn’t notice the ropes had become partly undone already. Harry grinned at him and continued his annoying taunting to keep Quirrel’s attention away from his escape attempt.

“So, how do you talk with him? Are you friends on Facebook or something?” he asked.  
“If so, can you sent him a message for me? I’d like to invite him over for some tea this summer with my folks.”

“My master is with me wherever I go.” Quirrel said quietly, ignoring Harry’s last comment.  
“I met him when I was traveling the world, I was a foolish young guy back then, with all those stupid ideas about good and evil… My master showed me there is only power and those too weak to gain it.”

“Smart man,” Harry nodded in agreement.  
“Good and evil is way too boring. I like chaos, it’s pretty neutral, though Bird-boy disagrees…”

Quirrel ignored him and a vacant, far-away look appeared in his eyes as he stared over Harry’s shoulder.

“Since then I have served him faithfully, although I have led him down many times. He has had to be very hard on me.” Quirrel shivered.  
“When I failed to steal the stone from Gringotts he found I had to be punished. He wanted to keep a closer eye on me.”

“And how does he do that?” Harry asked mockingly.  
“Are you hiding a Dark Lord under your robes? Tsk, tsk Professor, you should know smuggling is illegal.

Quirrel glared at Harry for a moment before turning back towards the mirror and cursed.

“I don’t get it! Is the stone inside the mirror? Should I break it?”

“Sure, ignore me, see if I care,” Harry muttered annoyed.

He finally gotten his hands free and started slowly with removing the robes around his ankles. He’d never had this much difficulty in escaping rope before, but it was also the first time someone used magical bindings on him, so he thought that was a proper excuse. Not that he’d tell his dad any of this. The bastard would just tie him up and put him in a life threatening situation so he would learn to escape quicker.

“I don’t know what to do. I see the stone but I don’t know how to use it. Please help me Master!” Quirrel begged.

“Use the boy… Use the boy!” a voice answered to Harry’s utter surprise.

Quirrel rounded on Harry and quickly clapped his hands so the ropes released him. Harry grumbled a bit about all his hard work being useless now as he crossed his arms and glared at his DADA teacher.

“Get here, Quinzel.” Quirrel spoke.  
“Come here and tell me what you see.”

“Try saying ‘pretty please’ sometimes. I heard it does miracles!” Harry snarled, but he still did as told.

He stood in front of the mirror and scowled. Whatever he was supposed to see, he didn’t see it. No clue about the hiding place of the stone at all, like Quirrel and the second voice seemed to hope. Quirrel had joined him in front of the mirror, breathing down in his neck.

“What do you see, Quinzel?” he asked fidgety.

Harry looked over his shoulder to the nervous professor as his lips stretched into a wide, disturbing grin.

“I see me, with Dumbledore’s head on a stick,” he told honestly.  
“And I’m holding your guts while you’re slowly bleeding out at my feet. All cut up so I can see your heart struggling to keep beating.”

Quirrel paled drastically and took a step back, eyes wide in terror. As soon as the fear came, it was shaking off again and he stepped forward again, sneering at Harry.

“Get out of my way,” Quirrel growled impatiently, pushing him aside so he could look in the mirror again.

“Scared what Voldy might do to you when you fail him again?” Harry taunted.

“I would be more worried about your own fate, Quinzel!” Quirrel hissed back.

Harry chuckled and sat down on the ground, looking amused as Quirrel pressed his hands desperately against the glass of the mirror. Watching desperate people was always fun, Harry mused. Like, locking them up in a maze with no exit and send in hungry hyenas after them. That would be fun. He should suggest that one to his dad when he went back home this summer.

“I want to speak with him, face to face!” the hoarse voice spoke up again.

“Master… You’re not strong enough,” Quirrel said quivering.

“I have strength enough… for this.”

Harry raised a brow and waited patiently as he looked at Quirrel who slowly was undoing his turban. When Quirrel let the turban fall on the ground he slowly turned around. The first shock was, that although Quirrel seemed rather young, he was pale already. The second shock was that instead of a bald head facing him, a horrible face with big red eyes and a missing nose, just two slits. He was damn lucky his dad had warned him, though he hadn’t expected Voldemort to be parasitic. He whistled in awe.

“Dad told me you looked weird after all the Rituals and stuff you did, but he never said anything about the ugly guy on the other side,” he commented.  
“Nice nose though. Or not I guess. Is it acceptable to say nice slits? Would it be rude if I made a nose joke?”

“And who might this ‘dad’ of yours be that he knows all this?” Voldemort hissed.

“You’re being so nosy for a guy who doesn’t have one,” Harry quipped smirking, before sighing.  
“Let me give you a hint: my fake birth certificate back in the States says _Harrison Jack Riddle_. Sounds familiar?”

“You are being raised by my brother?” Voldemort asked incredulously.  
“Is he betraying me, by raising my greatest enemy?”

“No. He helped you by destroying your greatest enemy when I was five,” Harry drawled, rolling his eyes.  
“I don’t get why everyone tries to force me into this stupid war between Light and Dark. I like Dark! Dad’s having me practice some cool curses.”

Voldemort narrowed his eyes. Quirrel walked backwards towards Harry so the red-eyed face of the Dark Lord could continue staring at him.

“If you are on my side, why don’t you be a good boy and give me the stone?” Voldemort suggested in a hiss.

“One: I’m not on your side, I’m on my own side,” Harry muttered, glaring back at the double-faced man.  
“Two: I don’t know how to get it! That thing doesn’t show me anything stone related, unless it means I have to kill Dumbles to get it – which I’m totally willing to do by the way.”

“Now that I know what to look for, I can certainly see a lot of Jack in you,” Voldemort hissed annoyed.

“It’s the hair,” Harry sighed dramatically, weaving his hands through his purple and pink hair.  
“Now, if we’re done here, I think I might be off. I hoped this would be fun, and I had some ideas to use the stone for, but since it’s not here…”

With that, Harry turned around and started walking towards the door, his hands deep in his pockets as he whistled some off key carnival tune he’d heard somewhere. He absently wondered if he should change his ‘Child’s Play’ costume to monochrome and use a striped cone nose, just to see how many people would recognize it.

“SEIZE HIM!” Voldemort screamed just as Harry almost reached the door.

He felt Quirrel’s hand close around his ankle like a vice and tripped. He fell on the ground but didn’t feel the pain caused by the fall because the moment Quirrel touched him it felt as if his head was splitting in two. He yelled in pain and tried to fight him off and to his surprise Quirrel let go of him. The pain almost immediately left his head. Bewildered Harry looked where Quirrel had ended and saw him, quivering in pain, sitting a bit away from him.

“SEIZE HIM! SEIZE HIM!” Voldemort screeched.

Quirrel went back forward and pinned Harry down to the ground, throttling him. The pain seizing through his scar almost blinded him.

“Master! I can’t touch him!” Quirrel screamed.

He was still pinning Harry down to the ground but was looking at his hands. They seemed to be burned, like Harry’s had been once back at the Dursleys when he had let their food burn.

“Then kill him and end this!” Voldemort screamed angry.

Quirrel reached his wand, ready to use a deadly curse on the boy in front of him, and as in a reflex Harry reached for his face.

“AAAAAAARGH!” Quirrel jumped off from Harry and in that moment Harry knew his Professor couldn’t touch him without suffering the same pain Harry did.

His eyes sparkled with interest and he almost entirely forgot about the pain in his scar he suffered with every touch. He just wanted to find out how hard he could burn his teacher right now. Harry leapt to his Professor and grabbed his arm. Both of them were screaming in pain and Harry was blinded from the intensity of it. He couldn’t see a thing, he only heard Voldemort yell to kill him and somewhere, maybe in his head, someone was calling his name as well. He felt Quirrel wrench his arm out of Harry’s grip and he quickly reached out again, grabbing the man’s face.

His screams were delicious, and once Harry was sort of used to the pain, he could properly see again. It was totally worth the pain to see his teacher slowly burn to death, parts of his face falling away to ashes. Harry was shoved away harshly and he stumbled and fell on his ass, his eyes not once leaving the screaming professor. Voldemort quickly ripped himself free from his dying servant, black smoke escaping from the crumbling figure before it attacked Harry. The boy shouted, trying to keep the billowing smoke away, but he couldn’t. The last thing he saw before blacking out was another figure entering the room.

.              .              .               .              .

He woke up only to blink furiously against the bright lights entering the hospital wing. The lights were intensified by the glasses perched atop Dumbledore’s nose as the silver haired Headmaster stared down at Harry with a soft smile.

“Dream well, Harry?” the man greeted.  
“The waking world is glad to have you returning alive.”

Harry ignored the weird words and looked around at his surroundings, though it seemed nothing had changed since his last visit. Well, aside for the pretty big pile of sweets on the bedside table, most of which were already opened.

“I ate them all since I was bored. What happened to you in the dungeons is a secret so of course the whole school knows,” Dumbledore said, following Harry’s eyes.  
“I believe your friend, mister Malfoy couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”

Harry frowned at that. He already knew Dumbledore wasn’t Draco’s biggest fan, but Harry liked the other boy, and shouldn’t Dumbles have been happy a ‘Dark’ wizard helped stop Voldemort?

“How long have I been out?” Harry asked quietly.

“Between two hours and six days,” Dumbledore said.  
“Your friends have come and gone more than I or Madam Pomfrey could count.”

“And what about the stone, sir?” Harry asked.

“I killed it. After I pulled Voldesmoke off of you and brought you to the Hospital wing I took care of it immediately,” Dumbledore replied.

Fucking weird asshole…

“But what about Flamel?” Harry asked shocked.

“Ah, you know about that too, don’t you. I guess Miss Granger took her time,” Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling.  
“Well, I talked with Nicolas and he agreed with me that it was fine. He and his wife Pernell can die now that you survived.”

Harry wanted to say that he had figured the Flamel thing out first, but he kept his mouth shut. Dumbledore obviously expected him to be mediocre, verging on ignorant, so that was what he would play. Knowledge is power after all, and Dumbledore would see him as less of a threat and more as a useful tool if he seemed dumb enough.

“But.. they are going to die?” Harry asked shocked.

“Ah, but for people on their age dying is just the next big journey to take.” Dumbledore said.

The next big journey… wasn’t that how his dad called it too? Death is just another, more permanent adventure that eventually, everyone undertakes. Joker didn’t have any interest on going on that adventure though. He always said that his current one was probably the most of fun, but Harry often couldn’t help his curiosity.

“Why couldn’t Quirrel touch me?” Harry asked curiously.

“That’s because your mother saved you. Voldemort can’t understand it’s love. Dying for the cause of someone else is not visible to the eye. It is in your skin. Quirrel, being so full of hatred and evil, could not touch something as pure as you.”

Harry had to hold back a snort at that. Yeah right. Harry wasn’t stupid enough to fall for that fairy-tale. His mother had used some kind of spell, not fucking Love! Still, he smiled and nodded in understanding. No reason to let Dumbledore know what a load of crap Harry thought the old fool was. Things would be much easier for him at school if Dumbledore trusted him.

As Dumbledore stood up from his chair to leave Harry again, Harry couldn’t help but wonder whether or not the old man was still under the influence of his Nonsense Potion. He chuckled to himself and shook his head. It didn’t really matter, because there was barely any difference at all. In fact, Harry wouldn’t be surprised if the original lemon drops had been dosed with the same stuff as well.

.              .              .               .              .

When Harry was allowed to leave the hospital wing the next day (read, snuck out early in the morning) he was quickly cornered by his friends. Hermione ran up to him first, squealing in delight as she hugged the living daylight out of the boy. Harry winced as she brushed against his still sore ribs, but hid it under a wide grin as he hugged her back.

“Salazar, Quinn!” Draco muttered from the side.  
“Next time you’re planning on dying, let me know ahead of time so I won’t join you again.”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?” Harry teased.

“And we’re all really shocked about that,” Blaise laughed.

“Next time you plan something again-“ Fred spoke, clapping Harry on the back.

“-Make sure to invite us too!” George laughed, ruffling Harry’s hair.

“Forgive me my errors, oh mighty Twins of Terror!” Harry cried out dramatically, bowing deeply.  
“Since Draco won’t join me next time, I’ll seek your aid during my next suicide attempt.”

Draco rolled his eyes and sneered at Harry while the others all laughed at the comment. They quieted down when they noticed a large shadow falling over them, making Draco and Blaise pale in fear until they looked up and found a sniffling Hagrid looming over them.

“Hey, Hagrid!” Harry greeted cheerfully.  
“Um… Are you alright? What’s up?”

“It’s – all – my – ruddy – fault!” the gamekeeper sobbed, his face in his hands.  
“I told him how to get past Fluffy! It was the only thing he didn’t know and I told him! All for a Dragon egg. You could’ve died! I’ll never drink again! They should throw me out and let me live like a muggle.”

Harry wanted to roll his eyes, but instead opted for an awkward grin. From the corner of his eye, he could see Draco and Blaise look at each other with wide, shocked eyes before Draco mouthed the name ‘dragon’ with a very pale face.

“I’m sure Voldemort would have figured something else out if you hadn’t said anything,” he spoke soothing.

“You could’ve died,” he sobbed again.  
“And don’t say his name.”

“Whose name? Voldemort? What’s wrong with Voldemort? It’s just a name, right? Voldemort’s name. That’s why people call him Voldemort. Or not, people are scared of the name Voldemort after all. I wonder why?” Harry asked innocently, enjoying the way Hagrid and the others kept flinching every time he said it.

The giant man left shortly after, making Harry snicker and Hermione glare at him.

“Voldemort, Voldemort, Oh Vo~ldy Voldy Voldy, Voldemort!” Harry sang on the tune of ‘Lollipop’.

“You’re terrible!” Hermione scolded, swatting at him.

Harry just laughed and ducked away, dancing out of Hermione’s reach before throwing and arm over Draco’s shoulder with a wide grin on his face.

“It’s good to be back,” he sighed.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry walked down to the feast in the great hall alone that night. Madam Pomfrey had caught up to him a few hours after he left and dragged him back to the hospital wing, fussing all over him and insisting on doing a last check-up.

When he arrived at the Great hall colored in Green and Silver, everyone was already seated and looked over to Harry. He was welcomed in silence and when he sat down at his table, he saw some of the students standing up to see him. Cecilia walked up to him and gave him a warming hug before holding him at arm’s length to check him over.

“Are you alright?” she asked quietly.

Harry pouted and shook his head, wanting to get another hug from the pretty Ravenclaw. He was just the right height to bury his face in her boobs, and he wanted to do it again, a bit longer this time too. Sadly, it didn’t happen, and Cecilia just gave him a sad smile and  ruffle his hair before returning to her own table.

“Another year is done,” Dumbledore said cheerfully.  
“And I must trouble you with an old man’s wheezing waffle before we can sink our teeth into the delicious feast. What a year has it been. Hopefully your heads are a bit fuller. You have the summer to get them all empty again.”

“Now, as I understand it, the House Cup here needs awarding and the points stand thus: in fourth place, Hufflepuff with three hundred and fifty points; in third place Ravenclaw with four hundred and twenty-six points; second we have Gryffindor with four hundred and seventy-two points and Slytherin with four hundred and eighty points.”

The Slytherins cheered loudly, and Harry clapped along with the others, smiling brightly while Draco lifted his cup with a smug grin on his face. Even Florence was smiling for once as Hawkins clapped her on the back lightly. Flint, sitting across the two prefects looked overly smug as well, probably extremely pleased they had taken not only the Quidditch Cup, but now also the House Cup from under Gryffindor’s noses.

Harry looked over at the Teacher’s Table, where Professor Flitwick seemed to offer a toast to Snape. When Harry’s eyes locked with Snape, he saw a small smile lingering on his Head of House’s face before scowling at him again. He locked eyes with a happy Hermione before he joined Draco and Blaise in the party going on at their table.

 


	33. Going Home

Harry looked at his rapport cart with a proud grin. He wasn’t the best in his year, only average in several classes in fact, but he felt he had done well. The others, being Draco, Hermione, Blaise, Pansy, Daphne and Fred and George, all were reading their own cards as well.

Draco was silent the time glaring at the wall with a petulant pout. Exactly what his problem was, Harry had no idea since Draco was number one in Potions and had an E in every other class except for Herbology, which was an A. He was still one of the best in their year. Of course, with Hermione having _only_ O’s, he felt probably struck in his pride for being bested by a ‘mudblood’. To be fair, Harry hadn’t even known that anyone could get more than 100%, but it turned out Hermione even got 112% on Charms, and never less than 95% on any other class.

Still, he’d done better than any of the others in their group. Blaise and Daphne both had around the same points as Harry had and ended with an average of E, while Pansy had an average of A, with a E on Charms and Transfiguration.

*

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Results for Hadrian Potter/Quinzel, 1st year

ASTRONOMY                                                                                                   A            

CHARMS                                                                                                          E

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS                                                                 O

HERBOLOGY                                                                                                    O

HISTORY OF MAGIC                                                                                         A

POTIONS                                                                                                         E

TRANSFIGURATIONS                                                                                        A

Points Chart:

Outstanding                                                                                                   O

Exceeds Expectations                                                                                     E

Acceptable                                                                                                     A

Poor                                                                                                               P

Dreadful                                                                                                         D

Troll                                                                                                               T

*

At least Harry knew aunt Ivy would be pleased to see he was one of the two best students in Herbology. The other was apparently Longbottom. Hermione had told them the boy had barely succeeded this year, his O in Herbology cancelling out his failed potions. Even Crabbe and Goyle had passed, though Harry knew that this was largely because Draco actually took the time to tutor his two guard trolls.

Before they knew it, they were all packed to go and flyers were handed out, reminding the students that they weren’t allowed to use magic outside of the school.

“I always hope they forget to give those,” Fred joked, making the younger students chuckle.

When they loaded into the train, everyone went their own way. Daphne and Pansy went to find the other girls, while Hermione sought out her Gryffindor friends (if you could really call them friends. She just got along with Longbottom, really) and Fred and George went looking for their own friends. As such, Harry followed Draco and Blaise, who squeezed into a carriage along with Crabbe, Goyle and Theo.

“Back to America I suppose?” Draco asked Harry conversely.

“Yup! I’ve missed my parents a lot this year, haven’t you?”

“Definitely,” Draco agreed with a grin.  
“My mother wrote me to tell me we’re going to spent the whole summer in France, but maybe I can get them to visit the States as well… Where did you say you lived again? Gotham?”

This had Theodore look up, eyes wide in shock.

“Did you say Gotham?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, why?” Harry replied confused.

“My mother used to have a sister in Blüdhaven. She wrote about the dangerous people in Gotham and about the Batman,” the quiet boy said.

“The Batman really is a dangerous man,” Harry agreed calmly before turning to Draco.  
“Like Theo said, Gotham isn’t exactly visitor friendly. But maybe I can come to you?”

“Fine by me,” the blonde mumbled.

“Maybe when you’re around, you can come to my mother’s wedding,” Blaise suggested.  
“It’s a Spaniard this time. Alejandro I think his name was. I usually don’t bother anymore. It’s her 7th husband after all.”

“Where and when will this wedding be happening?” Draco wanted to know.

“Costa Rica, on the tenth of July,” Blaise replied.  
“But your parents are definitely invited, since our mums are such close friends. Mum and Alejandro will leave to their honeymoon in Brazil immediately after and apparently, aunt Cissa already agreed to let me stay with you for the remaining of the summer.”

They arrived at King’s Cross not long after and all struggled to get out first. Harry just laughed and waited back, along with the other Slytherin boys. Once the stream of students had become less, they started moving out as well.

“See you guys next year,” Theodore muttered, giving a small wave at them before disappearing in the crowd.

“Our families are already waiting as well,” Blaise pointed out, waving at the dark haired beauty standing next to Draco’s dad and a blond, stern looking woman.

Two men, who looked like adult versions of Crabbe and Goyle were lingering around as well, and the whole group made their way over quickly, leaving Harry on his own.

“Don’t forget to write, Quinn!” Draco called out.

Harry chuckled and waved at his friends before making his way over to the Floo network. As he had expected, Joker was standing beside them, leaning against the wall with a bored expression on his pale face. He was looking the same way he had when dropping Harry off, and though it still looked weird, Harry recognized him easily.

“Dad!” he called, making Joker look up and grin when he saw Harry.

“Hey there, kiddo!” he greeted, ruffling Harry’s still purple hair.  
“Ready to get out of this place?”

“Sure! Let’s go.”

They first took the floo to the Leaky Cauldron and spend a few hours in Diagon Alley, eating ice-cream and shopping for small things they might use during the summer. Afterwards, they went through the International Floo and from Blüdhaven, Joker apparated the two of them to the abandoned warehouse Harry had lived in once. He looked around with a deep scowl and turned towards his dad with questioning expression.

“We’re staying here for a few weeks,” Joker explained shrugging.

“Alright,” Harry mumbled.  
“But we’ll see aunt Ivy and uncle Nigma soon, right? And mom. I have brought them all souvenirs!”

“Really now?” the Riddler’s voice called out from the kitchen.

Harry’s eyes widened and he ran in, seeing both Ivy and Riddler sitting together at the table, drinking a cup of coffee together. Harry grinned brightly and hugged his aunt. He’d hug the Riddler too, but the man didn’t like physical contact much, so he decided against it. If it was anyone else, he’d purposefully touch them more, but he respected his uncle and teacher too much (and he was also a bit scared of him, but he refused to admit that, even to himself)

“Hold up! I have an awesome present for you!” he said.

He dug into his pocket and took out his shrunken trunk. With a wave of his wand, Joker unshrunk it. Harry quickly pulled out a new copy of _‘A Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi’_ and handed it over to Poison Ivy.

“I also got my hands on some spores of a plant I’m pretty you’ll love,” he added, handing a small pouch to his aunt as well.  
“It’s called Devil’s Snare, and it acts like those tentacle plants from Japanese hentai, but instead of raping, it kills. And it hates sunlight… and fire.”

Ivy smiled brightly and leaned over to plant a kiss on Harry cheek, murmuring a thanks. Still grinning, Harry turned to look at the Riddler.

“And for you…” he started cheerfully, reaching back onto his trunk.

He pulled out five books for the Riddler, all brand new as well. _‘Magical Theory’, ‘A History of Magic’, ‘Hogwarts, A History’, ‘The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts’_ and _‘Great Wizarding Events in the 20 th Century’._

“I’m in the last two,” Harry told the Riddler.  
“Well, I haven’t read them myself but my friend Hermione read all of those and a few more too, and she told me all about it. They speculate in this one that I died when I was five though, so just ignore that part.”

The Riddler chuckled and ruffled Harry’s once again black hair fondly.

“Thank you, Harry. It’s a great gift,” he said.

“And where’s mom? I’ve bought _‘The Tales of Beedle the Bard’_ for her!” he asked the adults eagerly, pulling the story book out of his trunk.

“Haven’t seen her since last year,” Joker shrugged nonchalantly.

Harry’s shoulders sagged in disappointment and looked down at the book sadly.

“Oh… well… ok then… I guess-I guess I’ll just… hold onto this until she’s back,” he mumbled.

He turned away from his dad and the other two and slowly walked out of the room.

“It’s kind of late. I think I should go to bed…”

.              .              .               .              .

It was already two hours later when the Joker entered Harry’s bedroom to check up on the boy again. As the green haired clown had expected, Harry was not asleep. Instead, he sat on his bed, reading the Tales of Beedle the Bard while Malinda rested next to Harry, looking up to the child in worry. With a sigh, Joker walked further into the room and sat down on Harry’s bed.

“Do you think mom will come back?” Harry asked softly.

 ** _*I tried telling Hatchling that mother Quinn will return, but he doesn’t believe me,*_** Malinda hissed.

 ** _*Listen to your snake. Harley will be back,*_** Joker told Harry, petting his head.

 ** _*Really?*_** Harry hissed uncertain.

“Course. She’s nothing without you or me, kid,” Joker replied grinning as he switched back to English.  
“She loves us and she’d never abandon us. Just wait and see. She’ll come back. She always does.”

Harry nodded in understanding and put the book away. Joker was about to leave again, satisfied that he had comforted Harry somewhat, but the young boy grabbed his sleeve, staring up at him with big, hopeful green eyes.

“Can you please stay with me until I’ve gone to sleep?” he asked softly.

The Joker sighed and sat back down.

“Fine,” he muttered reluctantly.  
“But just this once, I’m not gonna coddle you like a baby every time you have abandonment issues.”

Harry nodded and laid down on the bed, still holding onto his dad’s sleeve. With a shrug, Joker crawled into the bed next to the boy and took the child in his arms. If he had to play the father role, he’d do it while being somewhat comfortable himself.

“Have you ever thought of having kids yourself?” Harry asked quietly.  
“You know. Your real kid, not like me, but one from you and mom?”

Joker stayed quiet for a while, mulling the question over before he decided on an answer.

“Not in a long time, and not with your mom,” he confessed eventually.  
“Back when I wasn’t Joker yet and I was still married.”

Harry sat up almost immediately and stared at his dad in surprise and curiosity. His dad never told him anything about his past. Not even his mom knew who he had been before he was the Joker.

“I almost had a son,” Joker continued, his expression distant as he recalled his past.  
“He’d be the same age as you right now if he had lived to leave his mother’s womb.”

Harry’s eyes widened in surprise. His dad had almost been someone else’s dad? He stayed quiet while Joker leaned back in his seat and grinned up at the ceiling.

“That was back when my real name was still Riddle, but I worked as a crook under the name Napier,” he continued calmly.  
“Jeannie was beautiful. A squib from some American Pureblood line, but we could already tell that our boy would be pretty damn powerful magic wise.”

“What happened?” Harry asked quietly.

“I took a job as the Red Hood to break into the Chemical factory I worked at during the day to pay for my upcoming family,” Joker told him.  
“My wife was due in two weeks and we had little to no money at all. The thing is, those people I was working with kidnapped Jeannie the night before the whole thing would go down to make sure I wouldn’t go back on my word.”

Harry’s expression darkened and he hissed in anger. They hurt his brother!

“I did what they wanted me to do of course. For Jeannie and the baby,” Joker continued.  
“But then Batman had to show up. We had a scuffle and he threw me in a vat of chemicals. Everyone thought I was dead, but I miraculously survived with not one scratch! Just all the pigment of my body was washed away! **_And my head was a bit more scrambled._** I went to look for Jeannie, but they’d killed her that same night. July 31 st.”

Harry’s eyes widened in shock when he heard that and he swallowed nervously. Joker looked over to him and grinned even wider.

“If I believed in things like fate and stuff, I’d almost say that my boy’s soul went and flew right into a little British baby that was born that exact same day,” he said teasingly.

Harry chuckled at that and grinned happily at the Joker. He was well aware that his dad could be lying to him about this story. He knew for a fact that Joker made up a lot of background stories to win sympathy, or to disturb people even more.

“I’m glad you’re my dad,” he said sincerely.

Because even if Joker had just made that story up, what use would it have been? Harry would still love his father even if he heard Joker had killed his former family off himself. Harry would be loyal to Joker until death.

“Just go to sleep already, kid,” Joker told him fondly, kissing Harry’s forehead.

Harry smiled and snuggled into his dad’s side, closing his eyes. These were the moments he lived for. The small, satisfying moments where Joker really acted like a father to him and treated him with love and gentleness. It was rare, but Harry knew it was genuine, and it always reminded him that he was indeed loved by his parents. They wouldn’t leave him. His mom would come home again soon and they’d be all happy again. Like a real family.

 


	34. Fun and Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me a pocket watch and call me white rabbit because I'M LATE! This should have been posted two hours ago!

July 10 came and went without the promised wedding invitation. In fact, Harry didn’t receive any letters from any of his new friends. He only kept in contact with Hermione, since the two of them had swapped phone numbers on the train, but even those calls were few and far in between. Not that Harry had no blame on the lack of communication, but he was just too busy.

His dad put him through a grueling training. He had to go boxing with Two-Face every Saturday, and afterwards, the man would teach him on Politics and Law. Though Harry was a quick learner, and was considered a prodigy by several of his teachers, these lessons weren’t part of that and he never remembered anything he was taught.

Mr. Freeze was a cruel teacher who expected nothing less than perfection and had Harry practice the same Math problems again and again until Harry knew the rules that made them up by hard. It had to come naturally and quick. Every second he didn’t give a good answer was a second too much. He had to suffer through this two times a week on Tuesday and Thursday, four hours a session.

Malinda was always unhappy when Harry spend time with Freeze, since he always got so stressed. She even suggested biting the villain, and Harry had been tempted to let her if not for the fact that he had no idea how his dad would react. He could find it hilarious and just pat Harry on the head with a wide grin, or he could just as easily fly in a rage and beat Harry to an inch of his life, so he decided not to risk it.

He spend every Monday a whole day with the Riddler, usually just telling each other riddles, or see who could come up with the most creative insults while eating pizza. Gabe was often there as well, and Harry enjoyed those times the most of all. A plus was that the Riddler wasn’t upset when Harry made plans with Dick when he was supposed to be with him learning. As long as Harry improved his hacking skills and his vocabulary, the man was alright with pretty much anything.

Wednesdays were with Ivy, taking care of her plants and usually talking about all the interesting magical plants Ivy hoped to get her hands on one day. While Ivy still taught Harry Biology, the two spend most of their time looking at the Devil’s Snare grow in the cool basement of Ivy’s greenhouse.

Lastly, Fridays were spend at the Iceberg Club with the Penguin, who taught him mostly about Engineering. The tiny British gang leader didn’t look like it, but he had a college degree on the subject. It was interesting, and the Penguin had a good sense of humor. Still, Harry usually left angry, since the man had taken to calling the ‘Chosen One’, unaware that the entire wizarding world did the same.

Sundays though were probably the hardest, since those were the days his dad trained him. If he had time. So usually, he spend most of the day with the gang members, fighting, shooting, or showing off neat circus tricks. They all liked it and cheered him on when he was juggling or tightrope dancing. The evenings were all either with Joker learning proper Occlumency – which was a bitch, because it meant his dad forcing his way into his mind and leaving him with a major headache and the knowledge that Joker had something new to blackmail him with – or with him and Joker going out into town.

.              .              .               .              .

Today was such a Sunday, one of the few ones where Joker decided to take him out on a rampage. He was really happy that he didn’t have to go through the Occlumency lesson for once. Joker always was pissed after those lessons anyway, because Harry didn’t get any better at all. He just couldn’t get the hang of it.

“Everyone hands in the air! This is a robbery!” Child’s Play screamed, pointing his toy gun at the cashier and her clients.

The young lady almost fainted in fear, while several of the people raised their arms, their eyes wide in terror. Aside from him and the cashier, there were seven people in the shop. Two couples, probably shopping for wedding rings or something, one guy obviously there for an engagement ring, seeing as he had three different ones stalled out in front of him to choose from, and two girls who were probably just browsing and weren’t really going to buy anything.

All expected and boring clients for a regular jewelry store. Only Child’s Play stood out.

One beefy man shrugged his fiancée off his arm and stepped forward, glaring at Harry. He was large and fat, reminding Harry very much of his dead uncle Vernon. The man was looming over him threateningly and glared down unimpressed at the boy.

“This aint a joke, kid,” he growled.

“I know. I’m robbing the store forrealsies!” Child’s Play said in his most childish voice.

The man laughed in a condescending manner, making his fiancée whimper in fear.

“Mark, please, just… step away and let him,” she mumbled fearfully.

“Please Sarah! What is this kid gonna do?” ‘Mark’ laughed.  
“He’s just holding a fucking toy gun! Get a fucking grip already!”

Child’s Play looked down at his hand and then back up at the man, a blank expression on his painted face.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” he asked dryly.

The man stopped laughing and scowled confused. This made Child’s Play grin widely.

“Well, _Mark_ , let me tell you a little secret,” Child’s Play told him smirking.  
“Around here, toy guns-” the woman screamed as a shot went off and Mark went down “-doesn’t always equal toy bullets.”

Slow clapping had everyone in the room tense in terror and Child’s Play turned towards the entrance, where the Joker stood, a large grin on his face. Child’s Play giggled and made a silly bow for his father while the man pushed off from the wall and approached. As he reached his son, the Joker paused to ruffle his hair before he continued towards the cash register.

“He’s done a great job, don’t you think?” Joker started conversationally as he opened the register and started emptying it.  
“One day, he’s gonna be robbing stores and banks on his own, so this was a little test for my boy to see how good he’s already doing. So any opinions? Or should we go straight to the voting?”

“Meh. Id’s give him a 6.5 at most,” a childish, obnoxious voice said.

Child’s Play turned around and shot blindly in the direction he’d heard Robin’s voice come from. He only received laughter before a batarang came out of nowhere and disarmed him. He shouted in anger and gripped his pins, who were hanging off his belt as usual.

“Come out you stupid bird, or are you too scared?!” he exclaimed.

A strong kick landed on Child’s Play’s back, causing the boy to stagger forward several steps before he could catch himself and he turned around, swinging in the direction he was sure Robin should be. He was right, but the boy wonder was able to dodge just in time.

“Long time no see, Child’s Play!” Robin laughed.  
“I hoped you finally saw I was better than you and gave up crime!”

“And I was hoping to marry Catwoman, but she shot me down, so I guess neither of us gets what he wants,” Child’s Play shrugged grinning.  
“But I was thinking, ‘maybe it’s the ring’ so here I am! And here you are… OH! You’re not planning on proposing to me, are you? Baby, I love you, I really do, but I think this would be moving too fast…”

Robin scowled at that and hit at Child’s Play with his Bo-staff, but the green haired boy was able to dodge, laughing loudly as he danced out of Robin’s way and picked up one of the diamond rings, slipping it on his finger. He gave a soft gasp and looked at it in mock wonder. Robin growled and attacked again, but Child’s Play danced out of the way once again.

“It’s not you, it’s me, I swear!” Child’s Play cried out.  
“Let’s just get to know each other better first, ok? I mean we rarely talk anymore!”

“Sure thing! Why don’t you stand still and I’ll whisper a secret in your ear!” Robin growled.

Child’s Play stopped dodging and stood stock still, looking at Robin with a big grin.

“You promise?” he asked playfully.

The sudden change in his nemesis had Robin wary, and he stopped too, standing three feet in front of Child’s Play, staring at him. Suddenly, Robin’s eyes widened and he screamed in pain. Child’s Play watched with a big grin as his arch enemy went down on his knees, before crumbling up completely. Joker grinned as he re-pocketed the Taser and threw a bag of jewels at Child’s Play, grinning widely.

“You kill him?” Child’s Play asked curiously.

He kind of hoped not. Robin was his rival, so it would be sad if he didn’t get to kill him in the end.

“Nope. The Taser only had a few volts over the legal amount,” Joker shrugged.  
“He’ll live. He’ll be sore for a couple of days, but he’ll survive.”

As they got out of the store, they came face to face with their four unconscious cronies and the Batman, who was glaring at them.

“This is as far as you’ll get, Joker,” the Dark Knight spoke.

Joker reached in his pocket, probably to grab one of his Joker bombs, or some of those false teeth, but without the use of magic, Child’s Play could already tell how this fight would end, so he decided on a different approach.

“You know, I warned Bird-Boy that you wouldn’t care if he died…” he drawled.

As expected, Batman’s eyes widened and he swept past them hurriedly. Child’s Play laughed amused and let his father grab him by the arm. The two quickly apparated away now that there was no one around to see it anyway.

Laughing, Harry landed on the couch in their living room and took his goggles off. Happy light blue eyes looked up at the Joker and he grinned.

“That was awesome!” he laughed.  
“Did you see Batsy’s face? Good guys are so easy to trick.”

“Nice quick thinking, kiddo,” the Joker chuckled, ruffling Harry’s hair and turning it black again.

Harry blinked a few times, allowing the blue to bleed from his irises and let it turn back to bright, killing curse green. He scowled a bit when he thought of something.

“… Would you be sad if I died?” he asked.

The Joker gave his son a weird look before shrugging.

“Sure. I’ve grown used to you, and you’re nice to have around,” he said.  
“You’d be… really hard to replace. Actually, I don’t think I’d want you replaced if you would die. It wouldn’t be the same.”

Harry smiled brightly at that and jumped up. He wrapped his arms around the Joker and buried his face in his father’s chest. His own heart was fluttering in happiness at those words. Slowly, Joker’s long arms wrapped around Harry’s small frame as well, pulling him in closer.

“I love you, dad,” he whispered.

“Love you too, kiddo,” Joker chuckled in reply.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Dick limping over to where he was waiting for him in the park. Dick rarely ever got hurt. He was the popular kid in school, well-liked by all ages and while he was a nightmarish prankster, just like Harry, he had always good grades and for that alone, he was excused much more than the other students. Still, he was too kind hearted and friendly for anyone to feel bitter about that.

“Who do I have to beat up? Did they take your lunch money?” Harry asked worriedly as he helped Dick ease down on the grass underneath their favorite tree.  
“For crying out loud, Dick! You know Martial Arts! How the heck did this happen?”

“Calm down, Harry! No one attacked me!” he laughed.  
“You’ve seen my skills! No would be able to. Except for you maybe.”

That was true. Back when Harry still went to Gotham Elementary, he and Dick had gone to Karate together every Saturday afternoon for three years. They had both been the best students of their Master, and were always at the same skill level as each other. The only other person their age Harry even knew of that was that skilled was Robin.

“No one better has! I’ll tear this city apart! I’ll go sit on their heads and take a shit!” Harry exclaimed.

Dick laughed loudly and that and almost fell backwards with the force of his laughter.

“No one hurt me, Harry! I did it myself!” Dick chuckled.

“So… what? You decided to jump down a flight of stairs?” Harry asked incredulously.

Dick shrugged weakly and gave him a sheepish grin. Harry’s eyes widened and he groaned.

“You seriously fell down the stairs?! How did you manage that?!” he asked annoyed.

“Well… Alfred had baked one of his famous chocolate cakes…” Dick replied blushing.  
“And I was kind of in a hurry to get to it. So maybe, _just maybe_ , I tripped over my own feet.”

Harry blinked at that and frowned in thought.

“I forgive you because there was cake involved,” he decided eventually.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was in the garden with Malinda, tending to his new magical plants while the snake was lazing in the sun. He liked plants, that hadn’t changed in the slightest since he was 5. In fact, Harry believed that it had only grown. He was currently thinking about his 12th birthday in a week. He’d probably spend it alone with his dad.

Dick had already invited him over for two days after his birthday to celebrate because he and Bruce had to attend a charity party of the mayor on the 31st and aunt Ivy and uncle Eddie were both in Arkham… again. Aunt Kate and Jane had left the gang last year, and his mom was still gone. Harry sighed. He missed his mom.

“They look beautiful, hun!”

He jumped up, eyes wide as he turned around to face his mom. Harley was grinning widely and opened her arms. Harry didn’t think twice, didn’t even think about asking her where she’d been all this time. instead, he rushed forward and hugged his mother. He closed his eyes in contentment, breathing in her scent as he buried his face in her shoulder.

“I thought you’d left us,” he whispered.

“I can never leave ya, hun,” Harley replied hugging the boy tighter.  
“You’re my little Prince, aint ya? And puddin’s my everythin’.”

Harry nodded, smiling. His mom was back, and that was all he really cared about. As he stepped back, his hand brushed against Harley’s belly and his eyes widened. There was something different there. Staring intently, he pressed both his palms against his mom’s stomach, making Harley chuckle.

“Ya too bright for ya own good,” she mumbled.  
“Little Hailey is safe and healthy at Kate’s new place.”

Harry’s killing curse green eyes shot up to meet Harley’s sky blues.

“… I have a sister?” he asked quietly.

“Kate’s just takin’ care a her till she’s big enough to come here.”

“There you two are!” Joker called out to them, grinning widely.  
“I’ve got a great idea for birthday celebrations! C’mon! I’ll tell you!”

Harry chuckled and grabbed his mother’s hand, pulling her along as they walked back inside.

“He’s missed you a lot,” Harry told his mom.  
“But you know how he is. He probably won’t even acknowledge you were ever gone at all.”

“I know, hun. That’s just Mistah J,” Harley chuckled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on, the frequency of the chapters will go back to once a week every Wednesday since I've run out at the moment. I don't think it will come to a full stop yet, but I am currently stuck on chapter 36.


	35. Happy Birthday

_“Happy Birthday, Harry!”_ Dick exclaimed cheerfully.

“Thanks, Dick!” Harry laughed happily.  
“You’re the first one to call me this day, which isn’t a big surprise because it’s only 8 in the morning and I’m not even up yet.”

Surprisingly, that happened to be true since Harry was excused of morning exercises because it was his birthday.

 _“Well, you know I always wake up early, and it’s no fun if I’m the only one awake!”_ Dick laughed.  
_“But seriously. You’re really not mad that we had to do your birthday later? It’ll be just you, me and Gabe. It’ll be fun!”_

“I’m looking forward to it already!” Harry replied grinning.

_“Awesome. Have a great day and enjoy yourself, alright?”_

“Definitely. And you make sure you don’t die of boredom at that party.”

_“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best!”_

.              .              .               .              .

 _“A very happy birthday, Harry!”_ Hermione said cheerfully.  
_“I hope you have a wonderful day and an even better year!”_

“But shouldn’t my birthday be the best day?” Harry asked teasingly.  
“What’s the use of a birthday if the rest of the year is better?”

He chuckled when he heard Hermione heave a big sigh.

 _“Do you always have to do this?”_ she asked.

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be the me you befriended, you know.”

 _“I highly doubt that would be such a big problem,”_ the girl drawled.  
_“I love you Harry, I really do, but everyone can improve themselves.”_

Harry rolled his eyes and sneered. He liked himself just the way he was.

“Hey, Hermione? I need to go now. Call you later, alright?” he said.

_“Of course, Harry! Have a great 12 th birthday, alright? I’ll see you in September!”_

.              .              .               .              .

_“Happy birthday to you~! Happy birthday to you~! Happy birthday dear Harry! Happy birthday to youuuu~!”_

“Thanks Bette, but you’re still a terrible singer, as always!” Harry laughed.

 _“Fine then,”_ the girl huffed.  
_“I won’t sing to you anymore.”_

“Oh no! Don’t stop singing please! I love it!”

 _“But you just said that I’m awful!”_ Bette argued.

“You are. You sound like a cat being tortured,” Harry chuckled.  
“But I can hear the enthusiasm in your voice, and that makes it really beautiful.”

For a little while, it stayed quiet over the line, making Harry wonder if Bette was still there.

“… Hello?” he asked curiously.

 _“How can you be really mean and really nice at the same time?”_ Bette asked suddenly.

“It’s a gift.”

_“Then I hope you will be gifted with only niceness this year.”_

.              .              .               .              .

From: Red

Happy B-day Harry!  
We should all get together soon to celebrate.  
Love, Barbara

.              .              .               .              .

“KID!”

Harry scowled and jumped off the balance beam he had been practicing his cartwheels on to go see what his dad was so angry about. Both his parents were in the kitchen, which was utterly destroyed for some strange reason. Harry’s eyes widened in shock and open his mouth to ask what happened when he realized both were glaring angrily at him.

“It wasn’t me! I swear!” Harry exclaimed wide-eyed.

“Then who did?!” his dad hissed.

“I don’t know! But not me!” Harry replied hurried.

Joker growled angrily and slapped Harry in the face hard enough to make him lose his balance and fall back on his ass. Blinking in shock, Harry pressed his palm against the heated flesh of his cheek and looked up at his dad with wide eyes.

“Puddin’!” Harley shouted angrily.  
“Don’t you dare hurt my baby like that!”

Harry was tempted to tell her that her ‘baby’ lived with aunt Kate, but he refrained from doing so. He wasn’t even sure if Joker knew about Hailey yet anyway. Besides, his mom meant him, not his new little sister.

“It’s just a fucking slap, Harl!” Joker growled at her.  
“The kid needs to learn not to lie to us!”

“Hurting him is counterproductive,” Harley argued.  
“He’ll feel as if he can’t trust us with the truth and start lying more.”

“I’m not lying!” Harry yelled angrily.  
“I didn’t fucking do this! Why don’t you listen.”

Harley sighed and gave Harry a disappointed look.

“Mr. J and I were both out and no one else could have come in,” she said.

“We taught you better than this, young man!” Joker scolded him sternly.  
“When you tell a lie, you make sure it’s _believable_! Don’t blame things on shadows!”

“Well maybe this time, it _were_ the shadows, because it sure as hell wasn’t me!”

“Harry. We won’t stand for this,” his mom said gently.  
“I want you to go to your room and think about what you’ve done.”

Harry scowled angrily and turned around, stomping out of the kitchen.

“And no birthday raid for you either!” Joker called after him.

“I’m fucking innocent!” Harry screamed.

Tears were starting to bead in the corners of his eyes, but he was too stubborn to let them fall. He wouldn’t show his parents how upset he was about all this. He wouldn’t.

As he threw the door open to his room, he was met with a sight he hadn’t expected to see at all. A small, wrinkly being with big eyes and large floppy ears was jumping on his bed, giggling childishly. It was a House Elf, and probably the one that had trashed his kitchen to get him in trouble. Big question was, who had sent it and why?

Watching the pure joy on the creature’s face, Harry decided that any questions could wait and he jumped on his own bed, cackling along with the elf. Sadly, his fun was cut short when the elf stopped jumping and just stood there, staring adoringly at Harry with its big green eyes. Frowning, Harry stopped jumping too and went to sit cross legged on the bed.

“Why did you trash my kitchen?” he asked.

“Harry Potter!” the elf said in a high-pitched voice.  
“So long has Dobby wanted to meet you, sir… Such an honor it is…”

“I go by Quinzel now, but that’s not important at the moment,” Harry waved the elf off.  
“The problem is that you’re getting me in trouble and I bet you have a reason for it.”

“Oh, yes, sir,” Dobby said, nodding his head eagerly, making his large bat ears flop.  
“Dobby has come to tell you, sir… it is difficult, sir… Dobby wonders where to begin…”

“I would suggest the beginning, but I know from experience that it’s more fun to begin with the end, then the beginning and end with the middle,” Harry shrugged.  
“However, if I get to choose, I want you to start with who your owners are and why they want to get me grounded so badly they send their elf to ruin my 12th birthday.”

He glared at Dobby, who shied away and looked to its feet in shame.

“Oh, no, sir, no… Dobby will have to punish himself most grievously for coming to see you, sir. Dobby will have to shut his ears in the oven door for this. If they ever knew, sir-”

Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead raised a brow at the elf.

“So you’re here without your master’s knowledge?” he asked.  
“Why? What is so important on getting me in trouble so much?”

Dobby leaned toward Harry, his eyes wide as headlights.

“Dobby heard tell that Harry Potter met the Dark Lord for a second time, just weeks ago… that Harry Potter escaped yet again.”

Harry nodded and Dobby’s eyes suddenly shone with tears.

“Ah, sir,” he gasped, dabbing his face with a corner of the grubby pillowcase he was wearing.  
“Harry Potter is valiant and bold! He has braved so many dangers already! But Dobby has come to protect Harry Potter, to warn him, even if he does have to shut his ears in the oven door later… Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts.”

Harry looked at the elf for a while before throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

“You’re funny!” he giggled.  
“Not go back. Ha! That’s gold!”

“No, no, no,” Dobby squeaked, shaking his head so hard his ears flapped again.  
“Harry Potter must stay where he is safe. He is too great, too good, to lose. If Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts, he will be in mortal danger.”

Harry was in mortal danger at home too, but apparently the elf either didn’t know of Harry’s nightly occupation, or he ignored it and Harry didn’t feel like bringing it up. There were more important things to talk about right now.

“Why?” Harry asked confused.

“There is a plot, Harry Potter. A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year,” Dobby whispered, trembling all over.  
“Dobby has known it for months, sir. Harry Potter must not put himself in peril. He is too important, sir!”

“What terrible things?” Harry asked curiously.  
“Who’s plotting them?”

Dobby made a funny choking noise and then banged his head frantically against the wall. Harry gave a large sigh and pulled the elf away from the wall. This was why he disliked elves. They were too nervous and had that terrible thing where they treated all wizards and witches as fucking gods or something.

“Listen. I don’t care if someone is plotting to kill me,” he told Dobby.  
“I’m used to having people want me dead, but I want to go and learn more fucking magic! My dad can teach me just fine of course, but he doesn’t have the gentle hand the teachers do.”

With that, he pointed at the bruise blooming on his struck cheek and grinned.

“Besides, I wouldn’t want to disappoint my friends,” he added.

And punish them for forgetting about him the entire summer. Seriously, not one tiny little letter, not even for his fucking birthday! Assholes.

“Friends who don’t even write to Harry Potter?” said Dobby slyly.

Harry narrowed his eyes at the little creature.

“And how do you know that?” he asked darkly.

Dobby shuffled his feet.

“Harry Potter mustn’t be angry with Dobby. Dobby did it for the best-”

“Have you been stopping my letters?”

“Dobby has them here, sir,” the elf said.

Stepping nimbly out of Harry’s reach, he pulled a thick wad of envelopes from the inside of the pillowcase he was wearing. Harry could make out Draco’s neat writing, Blaise’s calligraphy, and even a scribble that looked as though it was from the Hogwarts gamekeeper, Hagrid. Dobby blinked anxiously up at Harry.

“Harry Potter mustn’t be angry… Dobby hoped… if Harry Potter thought his friends had forgotten him… Harry Potter might not want to go back to school, sir…”

Harry wasn’t listening. He made a grab for the letters, but Dobby jumped out of reach.

“Harry Potter will have them, sir, if he gives Dobby his word that he will not return to Hogwarts. Ah, sir, this is a danger you must not face! Say you won’t go back, sir!”

Growling angrily, Harry turned away from Dobby and grabbed his illegal wand, making the little elf scowl in confusion.

 _“Crucio!”_ he hissed, aiming at Dobby.

The little creature shrieked in pain and dropped on his knees, making Harry grin evilly. Served him right for pissing him off!

A second later, Harley stormed into the room, her giant mallet in hands, ready to kill whatever had attacked Harry. When she saw Dobby lying on the floor, twitching, she dropped her favorite weapon and stared with wide eyes and her mouth gaping open in shock.

“Oh my God! What the hell is that?!” she exclaimed.

Harry gave a little giggle at the fact that Harley had used God and Hell in the same exclamation, but sobered up when his dad walked into the room too. The green haired man scowled confused when he saw Dobby lying there and he looked over at Harry in hopes of an explanation.

“He trashed the kitchen in hopes of getting me in enough trouble so I can’t go back to Hogwarts,” he said.

Harley gasped and rushed forward to Harry, hugging the boy tightly with a sad wail.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you hun!” she cried.  
“I’ll never ever accuse you of anything ever again!”

“Promise?” Harry asked innocently.

“Did he say why he doesn’t want you to go back to Hogwarts?” Joker asked.

Harry pulled away from his mom and looked at the slowly rising elf. It had fat tears in its big eyes and looked at Harry with a betrayed sadness.

“Not yet,” Harry replied with a grin.

Dobby shivered in fear and tried to pop away, but Joker cast a quick anti-apparition shield around Dobby in Parseltongue. Normally, it wouldn’t work on a House Elf, but Parseltongue spells were much more powerful than others of the same kind, as the language itself was magical too.

“Now. Why won’t you tell us who wants to hurt my kid?” Joker asked Dobby.

“Dobby can’t, sir!” the elf wailed fearfully.  
“Dobby can’t betray his master like that!”

“So it’s your master who wants him dead?” Joker asked.

Dobby whimpered and knelt down trying to slam his head into the floor repeatedly. Joker rolled his eyes and released Dobby.

“Get the hell out of here you useless fuck!” he hissed darkly.  
“And if I find you near my son ever again, I will fucking kill you and your master!”

Dobby squeaked in fear and disappeared with a crack that sounded like that of a whip. Harry grinned and picked up the stack of letters he’d gotten from his friends at school. There were about six of them, two from Blaise, one from Hagrid and three from Draco.

The one from Hagrid was just a birthday card, with worse spelling than Harry had seen from an elementary school kid. Blaise’s first letter was the invitation to the wedding, which he had already missed and the second was a birthday card with a paragraph about how displeased he was that Harry had missed the party and that Harry better have a good reason.

Draco’s first letter was an invitation to stay with him after the party, and the offer that Harry could stay over a few days before as well. Other than that, he told him a few things about how everything was going with him and his family in a very bragging manner. The second was mostly Draco scolding Harry for not showing up and failing to reply, and the last one was a birthday wish and the question of whether or not Harry was still alive.

“I probably should write them back,” he mused.  
“Draco already thinks I’m dead apparently.”

“You can do that tomorrow. We have a big heist tonight!” Joker told the boy grinning.

Harry whooped eagerly and jumped into his dad’s arms to hug him.

“Yay! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chanted.

“No use punishing you for something you didn’t do, kid,” Joker told him chuckling.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry looked at himself in the mirror and grinned, admiring his reflection. He had his hair green, his eyes blue and his goggles hung loosely around his neck, but he wasn’t wearing his usual costume. Instead, he wore a black suit with a blood red tie. He wasn’t a big fan of the colorlessness, but it was necessary for their new plan: Raid the Mayor’s Charity Party.

“Honey! Are you ready?” his mom called out before walking into the room.

She was wearing a very stylish dark red dress and had her long blond hair pinned up in a neat bun. She wore a pearl necklace and fashionable glasses were perched on her nose. Harley smiled proudly when she saw Harry and the boy straightened up.

“You look so smart in that!” she gushed.

Harry grinned and grabbed his blond wig. He used the mirror to fit it properly on his head. The wig had long bangs that could almost cover his entire left eye. Harry kind of liked the look of it, actually. He turned towards his mom and grinned widely.

“All dressed up for a Hit and Run,” he said.

 


	36. Hit and Run

The party looked as boring as it sounded. The Mayor’s charity party was held in the penthouse of some sky rise apartment building. Harry looked around lazily, watching the stuffed up guests all looking equally boring and rich. This was the most terrible kind of people in Harry’s eyes. The privileged and the famous. All stuck up and narcissistic.

“Hey there!”

Harry turned around and smiled when he saw Dick standing there. He wanted to jump on his friend and hug him, but he was in disguise. Harry tucked a strand of blond hair behind his ear and looked away shyly.

“Hey,” he whispered.  
“You’re Richard Grayson. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son, right?”

“Call me Dick. And you are?” Dick replied with a grin.

“Quinn,” Harry replied.  
“I’m here with my mom.”

Dick nodded in understanding and looked around, looking really bored.

“This party sucks,” he said.

“I agree. It misses some special entertainment or _something_ ,” Harry replied.

Dick looked over at him and grinned widely.

“It’s my best friend’s birthday today,” Dick told him.  
“If I could find a way to sneak out of this place, I’d go look him up right now and spend the rest of the evening with him.”

Harry’s eyes widened and he grinned happily. Dick might not know it was him he was confessing this to, but that only made it so much better. Now he knew Dick really _meant_ it. Then again…

“I’m pretty sure you’d want to be anywhere but here right now,” he said jokingly.

“True,” Dick shrugged, grinning at him.  
“But I always want to be with Harry, and he’s gone most of the year, so I take all the opportunities I can get.”

“Sounds like the two of you are great friends,” Harry mumbled softly.

“The best in the world!” Dick laughed happily.

Harry almost went to his mom to ask if they could still stop the raid, but he quickly shook it off. Dick didn’t know it was him. He had no idea, and it would stay that way. Maybe Dick hated Child’s Play, but Harry would do anything to make sure he wouldn’t hate _him_.

“I have someone special too!” Harry said grinning.  
“We’re not friends per se, more like rivals, but I really love teasing him, and I like to think he feels the same way.”

He was thinking of Robin of course. He was Child’s Play right now after all, not Harry Riddle, so he couldn’t be Dick’s friend. No. As Child’s Play, his special someone was definitely Robin.

The two boys fell quiet when the elevator dinged and Harry turned to look with a grin as the doors slid open, revealing a police officer holding his badge up. Behind him, to everyone’s shock, stood the Joker with his clown gang members, wide, painted grin on his white face. He gave a low chuckle and released the corpse of the officer.

“We made it!” he said gleefully before stepping over the dead policeman.

He held up a gun and shot it ones before throwing it at Harry, along with his red goggles. With a grin, the temporary blonde caught them before pulling the wig off, revealing green hair underneath. He could hear Dick gasp in horror and he shot his friend a smirk and a wink before putting his goggles on.

“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen!” Joker called as Harry and Harley joined him and the others collected the party guests.  
“We are tonight’s entertainment! **_It’ll be a blast, I promise._** Just one question though. Where is the mayor?”

Just like selfish, terrified chickens, the crowd parted to leave the mayor to fend for himself. Harry laughed at that and skipped over first, grinning widely as he pressed his gun against the man’s back and forced him to step towards the Joker.

“There the old man is!” Joker cried out cackling.

“We’re not intimidated by you thugs!” the Mayor growled.

Harry and Harley chuckled in amusement while Joker just stared unimpressed.

“You know? You remind me of my father…” Joker told him, grabbing the man by his collar.  
“And I _hated_ my father…”

For once, Harry knew the Joker wasn’t joking. He was aware of the Riddle twins’ childhood. Joker had told him before about how their father had abandoned their mother while she was pregnant, just as he had told him about the love potion his mother had used to force Tom Riddle Sr. into marriage. He also told Harry how he and Voldemort had killed their father and grandparents when they were 16.

“Stop!”

Harry tensed at Dick’s voice and looked over to his friend, only Dick didn’t know he was his friend. He almost wanted to beg Dick to step away, but it was already too late, since Joker had taken an interest in him now.

Grinning, he pushed the Mayor in Harley’s arms and stepped up to Dick, who lifted his head bravely and glared at the Joker. Harry swallowed nervously, feeling fear in his friends place as he slowly trailed after his dad. He really hoped he wasn’t going to end up having to choose between his friend and his dad…

“You’re Wayne’s kid, right? The adopted one?” Joker asked.  
“The Juniors seem to like you for some reason.”

Dick scowled and looked over to Harry. The green haired boy’s breath caught in his throat and for a moment, when he thought Dick recognized them. He relaxed again when Dick didn’t react otherwise and looked back at the Joker with a deep scowl marring his face.

“If you hurt my friends, I’ll hunt you down and kill you,” the boy warned lowly.

Harry tensed again and was about ready to interfere if Joker would try to kill Dick, but instead, his dad threw his head back and laughed.

“That’s great!” he cackled.  
“I like the ones who got fight in them!”

“Then you’re going to love me!”

With that, Batman swooped down and kicked the Joker in the face. Harley shouted in anger and pushed the Mayor to the ground so she could shoot at Batman. Many people had to jump to the side to keep from being hit, though not everyone was able to get away in time and Harry could see three people fall down, either wounded or dead, he didn’t really care.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Dick duck away and run out of the room and he couldn’t stop a sigh in relief that at least his friend had gotten out unharmed. At least if Dick was smart enough to leave the building while he still could because Joker and his men had planted bombs all over the building before joining the party and Harry rather not have his best friend explode.

“Get the car, kid!” Joker called out while Harley was fighting Batman on her own for a moment.

Harry nodded and turned away, just as the Bat roundhouse kicked his mom in the side and send her flying. From the noises coming from behind him, Harry knew that Joker had started fighting again and he took off. This whole thing was very time-sensitive, after all. If he was too late with the car, his parents would blow up along with the building.

He didn’t use the stairs or the elevator, those were for stupid muggles. Instead, he just jumped through the window. In the middle of his free fall, Harry pulled his wand out from inside his sleeve and waited until he was nearly at the ground before casting a spell.

_“Aresto Momento!”_

His fall ended abruptly half a foot off the ground and Harry slowly lowered himself down so he was properly standing on the ground. He was damn lucky that the street was deserted, otherwise, he’d be in really big trouble right now.

Humming under his breath, Harry skipped over towards where the Joker had parked the Joker Van two blocks away. Harry pulled out the reserve key from his pants pocket as soon as the bright poisonous green van with purple and orange stripes came into his sight.

“Child’s Play!”

The green haired teen tensed and slowly turned around, scowling when he saw Robin standing there, his stupid Bo-staff in hand and ready to use. For once, Child’s Play hadn’t really looked forward to coming across his nemesis. Dick and Robin in the same space was just wrong…

“That’s rude!” he said, pulling out his juggling pins.  
“This is a private party you know. You weren’t on the guest list.”

“And you are?” Robin growled back.

Child’s Play grinned darkly and shrugged.

“Well, I’m the villain, right little hero boy?”

Robin rolled his eyes and charged at Child’s Play, who stepped aside just in time and swung his pin in his enemy’s back. Robin staggered, but didn’t fall. He turned around to face Child’s Play again, but the young villain had already abandoned their fight to get to the car again. He had to hurry if he wanted to pull Dick out of the building before it would go boom.

“We’ll play some other time, ok~?” he sang.

Suddenly, he found himself hurtling towards the ground face first as Robin’s Bo-staff ended up between his legs, tripping him up. Child’s Play quickly continued rolling and jumped back to his feet before turning back towards Robin with an annoyed growl. Pain exploded around his left eye as soon as he did and he staggered back. The ‘tock’ of the staff making contact with the glass of his goggles was ringing loudly in his ears.

“Fuck!” he cursed loudly, pulling his goggles off.  
“That shit fucking hurts you asshole!”

Robin just stood at the ready to start fighting again while Child’s Play gingerly touched the inflamed skin around his eye. He scowled when his fingers came back smeared with blood. He saw red – literally and figuratively – and pulled out his cards.

“Do you see me trying to take your eye out?” he hissed, glaring at Robin as he threw a card at his enemy.  
“Cheater! Dirty, evil, mean cheater! Play fair and keep below the neck like a proper hero!”

“At least I didn’t try to _electrocute_ you!” Robin shot back heatedly, dodging the object.

“Again! I’m the _villain_! It’s expected of me!” Child’s Play screamed, throwing three more cards in quick succession.

“You think we’d keep to proper fighting when facing scum like you?!” Robin shouted back.  
“You’re stupider than you look! To get you and your _owner_ off the streets, anything goes!”

Child’s Play scoffed when Robin called the Joker his ‘owner’ and glared hatefully at the other boy with bright blue eyes. Well, if Robin was going to play dirty, then so could he! He charged the next card in his hand with magic before hurtling it towards Robin. The young hero’s sidekick dodged again, but couldn’t get out of the magical blast. Grinning at his now downed rival, Child’s Play quickly rushed towards the car and jumped into the driver’s seat.

He started the car and immediately drove at breakneck speed back towards the building. He heard the ‘thump’ on the roof, indicating that Robin had decided to hitch a ride, but Child’s Play ignored him. He had to hurry and because of that bastard, he might be too late already.

His guess was right when the building suddenly exploded. Rubble, glass and fire showered over the entire street, forcing Child’s Play to swing the car wildly from side to side to avoid getting hit. He kind of hoped that Robin still got burned, but it didn’t look like he was that lucky when the other boy swung away on his grappling hook.

“Batman!” he heard his rival scream in worry.

Child’s Play grit his teeth and tightened his hands around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white beneath his gloves. Fucking asshole! Calls himself a fucking hero but only cares about that overgrown rodent!

“Fuck!” he cursed as he stomped on the gas again.

He drove straight into the flames and through the front doors of the burning building. His parents just came running down the stairs, only three of their Clowns remaining. Several of the guests came running down as well, screaming and coughing.

Child’s Play quickly moved to the back of the car as the only one of the three crooks that wasn’t seriously injured took his spot at the driver’s seat. Joker had climbed into the back first, covered in sooth and laughing in joy while Harley helped the two wounded Clowns in.

“Nice timing, kid,” Joker told him, ruffling his son’s green hair.

Child’s Play scowled and turned his eyes and hair back to their original color.

“Dick better have survived that,” Harry muttered frowning.  
“If he didn’t, I’m fucking retiring and moving to England to live off my wizard money.”

Joker rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat while Harley pulled her little boy in her arms.

“Don’t worry, hun! Ya friend disappeared after the Bat showed up!” she said.  
“I bet he and Wayne took off as soon as they saw the chance!”

Harry nodded reluctantly. He sincerely hoped that his mom was right and that Dick was safe.

.              .              .               .              .

_“… When the Mayor’s Charity Party was suddenly crashed by none other than the Joker and Harley Quinn!”_

Harry’s eye twitched in annoyance when the newsreader forgot to mention him, but he was too wrung up to really be bothered by it at the moment. He hissed angrily when the phone once again went to voicemail and ended the call before trying again.

“C’mon, Dick! Answer the fucking phone,” he muttered.

_“Sixteen of the guests died in the explosion and another twenty-one were injured. Luckily, the Mayor escaped with only a few minor injuries thanks to the Batman, who valiantly pulled him from the building right before the explosion!”_

“Fucking Bat!” Joker growled, glaring at the television.

Harry ignored him and tapped his foot impatiently. The phone was ringing, but still no answer. After the second to last ring, there finally was a click of someone answering.

 _“Hello? Harry?”_ Dick’s voice rang out, making Harry sigh in relief.

“Please tell me this is really you and not some apparition from the afterlife answering my desperate call!” Harry exclaimed dramatically.

 _“It’s all me. I’m not dead,”_ Dick chuckled.

“Thank… Something!” Harry sighed.  
“Are you ok? You’re not in Intensive Care, are you? Is that why it took so long to answer your damn phone?”

 _“I’m fine. Bruce got us out before the explosion, luckily,”_ Dick assured him.  
_“I’m sorry I didn’t answer sooner, but we were being interviewed by the cops and Bruce is currently giving a statement to the reporters swarming our house…”_

_“And now we go straight to our reporter who is talking with Bruce Wayne, who is one of the survivors, along with his foster son, Dick Grayson-”_

Harry looked over to the TV and scowled. It showed Bruce standing in front of his own front door, smiling tiredly and waving at the many reporters. Dick hated that kind of attention with a passion, Harry remembered. And now he was stuck in the house with all those vultures trying to get in.

“Want to meet up?” he suggested.

_“Sure! The park in half an hour? Same place as usual.”_

“See you there!” Harry said before pressing the end call button.

.              .              .               .              .

He was first to arrive for a change. Usually, Dick always made it at their meeting spots first. It was understandable of course. Dick’s house was swarmed, it would be hard to escape there without being seen right now.

“Harry!”

He looked up when he heard his friend call out his name and grinned at the sight of Dick approaching. He jumped up right away and skipped over, taking Dick into his arms in a tight, bone-crushing hug.

“You made it!” he cheered happily.  
“I’m so happy to see you! You have no idea how _scared_ I was!”

“Harrison Jack Riddle? Scared? Never!” Dick joked as he hugged him back.

The two friends laughed and sat down on the ground.

“It’s good to see you’re alright,” Harry told Dick sincerely.

The other boy smiled softly and looked down for a moment before he started scowling.

“Hey. You know Joker, right?” Dick suddenly asked.

Harry scowled confused at the sudden question but still nodded.

“From pretty up close if you remember,” he replied.

Dick frowned deeply and nodded, probably thinking of when Harry had been ‘kidnapped’ by the Joker at Christmas Break.

“Did you ever meet Child’s Play?” Dick asked quietly.  
“I-I don’t mean to accuse you or anything! But you said yourself that one day you’ll work for the Joker and he-”

“I didn’t,” Harry mumble, which was technically true since he couldn’t meet himself.  
“But can you do me a favor Dick? As my best friend? Don’t talk about him, or the Joker. No Batman or villains or vigilantes. Let’s just be you and me and forget about anything else, please?”

Dick looked down for a moment before looking back towards Harry with a soft smile.

“That sounds perfect,” he said quietly.  
“Just you and me. Between us, no one else matters.”

“Awesome! And just as my best friend, you’ll never believe what an asshole I met!” Harry exclaimed.  
“Like, I don’t even know who send the stupid moron to me, but he said he’s some kind of servant or butler I guess? And he decided it as his job to protect me from some lame bullies at school, so he intercepted all my mail! Can you fucking believe it?! To try and make me not want to go back!”

“No way!” Dick gasped horrified, eyes wide.

“Yes way! He even went as far as ruin my fucking birthday and-”

Halfway through Harry’s rant, Dick surged forward and grabbed his face, turning it to see the left side properly. Harry tensed when he realized his friend was staring at the black eye.

“Not enough concealer?” he asked jokingly in an attempt to diffuse the tension.

“No! what the heck happened?” Dick demanded to know.  
“If your dad hits you, you have to tell someone, Harry!”

“Dick, calm down it wasn’t-”

“He can’t do that, alright? I swear if this keeps happening we should call the police!”

“Dick! It’s not-”

“You can stay with me and Bruce, I’m sure he won’t mind letting you stay while we work this out-”

Harry grabbed Dick’s face and moved forward, capturing Dick’s lips with his own. His friend’s eyes widened in shock and he moved back quickly, a hand covering his mouth and a bright blush on his cheeks as he stared wide-eyed at Harry.

“Calmed down?” Harry snickered.

Dick nodded numbly, slowly taking his hand away as he kept staring at his friend.

“Good, then maybe you can listen to me now when I tell you it wasn’t my dad who did this.”

“Then who did?” Dick asked worried.  
“And don’t give me any crap about walking into a door, because I swear I’ll-”

“Do I have to kiss you again?” Harry threatened teasingly.

That immediately shut Dick up and the boy glared at a smug Harry. The young prankster just chuckled.

“I got into a fight with some kid last night,” Harry confessed.  
“I was just having some harmless fun when he showed up!”

“With harmless fun you probably mean ruining their night, right?” Dick deadpanned.

“Eh. They deserved it,” Harry shrugged.

Dick laughed quietly and shook his head.

“And here I was getting worried for nothing,” he chuckled.  
“Obviously, you deserved a black eye.”

“Hey!” Harry shouted mock offended.  
“You’re my friend! You’re supposed to be on my side, remember?”

Dick smirked and threw an arm over Harry’s shoulder.

“Oh, trust me. When I see this kid, I’ll beat the crap out of them,” he said.  
“But that doesn’t make it any less your own fault for getting hit.”

 


	37. Purebloods Among Muggles

The next week, Harry stayed over at Dick’s after having persuaded his parents to put his training schedule on hold. His dad hadn’t really wanted to, but his mom could never say no to Harry’s puppy eyes and had quickly overruled his dad’s decision. That was something she wouldn’t try on anything other than Harry’s upbringing or it could get her killed.

It was definitely fun. Harry and Dick planned out several pranks, met up with Bette, Gabe and Barbara and the five of them quickly had the entire town remember the good old days before Harry had been shipped off to Hogwarts. It also turned out that many of his old classmates believed Harry had taken up residency in Arkham. A rumor Nicky had apparently spread and Harry gladly played along with.

He told stories to kids they met when going out, telling them things about Arkham. Most of them weren’t even lies, which made the whole things so much better. He had even gotten his friends so far as they all told another story as he would keep to the Arkham one.

Dick, on his own suggestion, would tell everyone that Harry was Batman’s sidekick Robin (if only he knew the truth) and didn’t have time outside his training. Bette decided to tell everyone that Harry was a secret genius and went to Harvard already. Barbara told everyone that Harry went to a closed institution in Switzerland for incurable criminal boys called St. Brutus. And lastly, Gabe would tell the truth – that Harry went to a school for Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland.

It was the day before that Harry would go back home after a whole week at Dick’s and the two friends were out into town. They didn’t really have a goal, but as soon as Harry saw the Ice-cream shop, he grinned brightly at his friend.

“Let’s go for some Ice-cream. I’m hungry!” Harry announced cheerfully, grabbing Dick’s hand to pull him along towards the parlor.

“You’re not hungry! You just want some ice-cream!” Dick laughed.  
“I’ll wait here, get me a horn with pistachio will you.”

“Sir, yes sir!” Harry replied, saluting playfully.

Dick laughed as he watched Harry skip into the shop and shook his head fondly. He had really missed his best friend while he was away, and only spending those few days together with Christmas hadn’t really gotten rid of the lonely feeling of suddenly being without the fun-loving jokester.

“How can he live in this place! It’s so gloomy!” a girl’s voice with a very clear British lilt to it cried out.

“He did say Gotham wasn’t visitor friendly,” a boy’s voice with the same accent replied.  
“But honestly, I hadn’t expected him to be so serious about it. He always jokes about things.”

That last part was what made Dick turn around to look at the three kids, all about his and Harry’s age. The two boys, a dark skinned one with black hair and a pale one with platinum blond hair, were wearing neat black shirts and dress pants, and the girl, dark hair and a bit of a cruel face, wore a green summer dress. Behind them stood a dark-skinned man with long black hair that was tied in the back of his neck. He was wearing a simple white shirt and bleached jeans.

“Let’s just bloody find the twat,” the blonde grouched.

“Hey!” Dick called, waving at them.  
“You don’t happen to look for Harry, right?”

“We happen to be looking for _a_ Harry, yes,” the dark skinned boy said, eyeing him dubiously.

“Well, my Harry’s buying ice-creams right now,” Dick told them grinning.  
“If you wait here for a bit, we’ll know if it’s the same Harry. He goes to a boarding school in Scotland, so-”

Just the, Harry walked out of the store, an ice-cream in each hand. His eyes widened in shock when he saw Dick talking to the three stranger’s.

“Draco? Blaise? Pansy?” he exclaimed shocked.  
“And buff dude I’ve never seen before…”

“Qui-” the blonde started, frowning, but Harry jumped forward before he could finish.

“HEY! What are you guys doing all the way in Gotham?!” he asked loudly, grinning at them.

“Looking for you, obviously,” the girl, Pansy as Dick now knew she was called, said.  
“You promised to write, remember? But you didn’t! We were getting worried some muggles got to you.”

Dick blinked in confusion and cocked his head.

“Muggles?” he asked confused.

“People like my dead relatives, but alive,” Harry replied quickly.  
“Can you give us a moment, please? I need to talk to these guys.”

Dick nodded in understanding, his face dark when he thought about Harry’s relatives and how they had abused him. Harry smiled gratefully and handed both ice-cream cones to Dick. One with two scoops of pistachio, and one with strawberry, chocolate, banana, and cookie dough.

Harry quickly led the three kids a bit further away, out of Dick hearing and grabbed Draco by the wrist. His grip was tight enough to make the blonde wince, but Harry didn’t let up and just glared at the boy.

“ _Don’t_ call me Quinn around here,” he hissed lowly.

“Why not?” Pansy asked confused.

Harry turned to look at her and grinned darkly. The girl flinched back a bit at the sight of it, making Harry chuckle softly. He let go of Draco and took a step closer to Pansy, making the poor girl shiver in fear.

“Because it’s considered the Gotham equivalent of Death Eater,” he explained.

“Harry Potter, a Death Eater?” Blaise asked shocked.

“Definitely don’t call me _that_ ,” Harry growled at him, glaring.  
“None of you have any right to be here anyway, so for now, I’m only Harry.”

“We just came here because we wanted to know what happened to you,” Draco told him scowling.  
“You never replied to any of our letters, and I didn’t even get a thanks for that present I send you for your birthday!”

“I’ll explain what that was about, but not here and not now,” Harry replied coolly.  
“Tell me where you’re staying and I’ll visit you guys tonight. I’m out with a friend now.”

“We noticed,” Draco replied, disdain dripping from his tone as he glared Dick’s way.

Harry grinned darkly at that and stepped into Draco’s space, making the blonde tense up at the suddenness. He gently stroked the side of Draco’s face and leaned in closer. Draco stopped breathing, too afraid to move away from the clearly mentally disturbed 12 year-old.

“Problem with his blood, Draco?” Harry asked sweetly.

Before Draco could reply, he suddenly grabbed the blonde’s jaw forcefully and turned his head so their noses were brushing. Draco gulped in fear when he noticed the angry sneer Harry was sporting all of a sudden and tried to jerk away, only to find Harry’s grip was too tight.

“Criticize the people I hang out with again, and your precious ‘pure’ blood will be painting the street.”

With that, Harry let go of Draco again and smiled innocently, he took a step away. Draco gasped and stumbled backwards, his face now ashen pale in fear as he hid behind a petrified Blaise. Pansy whimpered softly and shuffled closer to the two boys she had come with, watching Harry fearfully.

“See you guys tonight, then?” Harry asked cheerfully.

The three of them nodded quickly, making Harry giggle a bit. The raven waved at them, still smiling brightly before skipping back towards Dick and the strange man.

“Dick! You ate my ice-cream!” Harry whined, playfully swatting at his friend.

Dick laughed and ducked away from the hit, teasingly licking Harry’s chocolate scoop again. Harry pouted for a moment, just standing there and looking like a kicked puppy. When Dick stopped laughing as well, blinking in surprise, he grinned and pounced.

“You better pay up for that!” Harry laughed.  
“Or I might just decide to eat you instead!”

To make sure Dick knew just how serious Harry was, he licked Dick’s cheek, leaving a large wet trail.

“Gross!” Dick exclaimed, pushing Harry away and handing him what was left of his ice.  
“Let’s go to my place. Maybe we can get Alfred to make us some pancakes or something.”

Harry threw his hands up and whooped happily before jumping at Dick and hugging him tight, kissing his cheek. Dick just laughed and pushed Harry off again, only for the other to quickly cling to him again.

Draco, Blaise and Pansy were watching with mixed feelings as their classmate walked off with the muggle boy. Their friendship seemed so innocent and cute, but knowing Harry like they did, they were sure it would never last.

“Let’s go back to the hotel,” Blaise muttered.  
“We don’t want to anger _Harry_ again, do we?”

The other two nodded solemnly and followed Blaise. Alejandro, Gisela’s new husband, and Blaise’s step-dad, frowned and followed the kids. He wasn’t sure why he agreed to be their adult supervision on this ridiculous trip. It probably had something to do with when and how his wife had asked him.

.              .              .               .              .

“I’ll be leaving then!” Harry said cheerfully, hugging Dick.

“See you again soon,” Dick mumbled.

Harry grinned and stepped away from his friend before grabbing his luggage. Bruce, who had been standing close by watching the two of them, stepped forward.

“Before you go. A word,” he said to Harry, motioning to the front door.

Harry scowled but nodded. Slowly, he waved at Dick and stepped out of the house, Bruce following behind him. The man closed the door behind them and turned to look at Harry with a deep scowl. Harry cocked his head to the side, confused as to what he would possibly want to discuss.

“I should have done this years ago, but Dick always assured me it only happened once…” he started.

Oh. Oooh. Well that wasn’t exactly what Harry had expected.

“My dad doesn’t ‘abuse’ me,” he said calmly.  
“He hit me _once_ in the heat of the moment after we got in a big argument. It’s nothing.”

“You showed up at our door with a pretty big bruise last week too.”

“I told Dick that I was-”

“Attacked by some punks, I know,” Bruce cut him off.  
“Look, I’m just worried, alright? A lot of your mannerism would be explained if you were being abused by your parents.”

“Then maybe it’s something that stuck from when I lived with my aunt and uncle,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth.  
“They starved me, you know? Made me sleep on a cot in the cupboard and forced me to do all the chores. When I left there when I was five, I was a shivering mindless _wreck_. I waited for the other shoe to drop for almost two years after my parents adopted me.”

“I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean-”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Harry drawled sarcastically.  
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going back to my awesome non-abusive parents.”

With that, he turned away and stepped up to Dave’s car.

.              .              .               .              .

Child’s Play enjoyed jumping roofs. Usually, he was being chased when doing so, but not this time. He wasn’t on his way to commit a crime, no, he was planning on visiting the hotel he knew his school friends were staying at. It was the most expensive one in Gotham. Of course it was. These were the Pureblood snobs after all. If they had to stay at a muggle establishment, it would be the very best.

The Gotham Hotel was a classy establishment with easy roof access, even if they had a lot of security cameras in the hallways inside. Child’s Play wasn’t planning on actually using halls though. Instead, he cast a sticking charm on himself and scaled the walls. He had already hacked into the database earlier to figure out in which room they were staying. Under the name Zabini, unsurprisingly.

He jumped on the balcony of the room where the tree young teens were staying and opened the window. All three looked up when he stepped in and Draco even pulled out his wand, stepping in front of Pansy protectively.

“Who are you?!” the blonde asked bravely.

“What a noble gentleman! I’m swooning!” Child’s Play said teasingly.

He pulled off his goggles and grinned at the three in front of him with sparkly blue eyes. He blinked a few times, willing them back to their original color. Ignoring the gasp of shock from Pansy, he pulled a handkerchief from his sleeve. He gave a soft laugh at the wide-eyed stares he received as the cloth kept going for a long while, going through all the colors of the rainbow.

“Quinn…” Draco muttered, eyes narrowing.

“Guessed right in the first try! Kudos for you, Drakey!” Harry laughed as he cleaned the make-up off his face.

“What the hell is that outfit about!”

Harry snickered and smirked at his friend as he ruffled his own hair, turning it black once more.

“I told you before, right? Quinn’s the Gotham equivalent of Death Eater,” he said.  
“Well, I guess it’s more of an equivalent to Bellatrix Lestrange. But it doesn’t change the fact that I need a disguise if I go out doing ‘bad’ things!”

“B-bad things?” Pansy whimpered.

“bad things as in Death Eater bad?” Blaise asked suspicious.

“Bad as in I want to blow up a building for fun!” Harry replied laughing.

He twirled giggling in front of his heavily disturbed friends before suddenly turning dead serious.

“I only tell you this because I know you won’t betray me,” he spoke coldly.  
“And when I find that anyone becomes aware of my double life, I will hunt you three down and kill you.”

The three friends shivered in fear and nodded in agreement. None of them doubted that what Harry said was anything but the truth, even if he tended to lie so often. Harry smiled happily and bounced over to the couch and plopped down with a playful giggle.

“I’m so lucky with such great and understanding friends!” he giggled before sobering up again.  
“But that’s not why I’m here, and it’s definitely not why you guys are, right?”

“Y-yeah,” Blaise muttered.

“We were worried!” Pansy exclaimed.  
“We wrote you all these letters but you never answered!”

“I was busy,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“That’s the downside of a double life I guess. I focus on what’s the most interesting and useful. None of you proved interesting during the year, so I had no reason. I do apologize for worrying you.”

“It’s fine, I guess,” Pansy muttered blushing.

“You better not do it again, though,” Draco growled bitterly.

“I won’t, I won’t!” Harry laughed.  
“If you keep me entertained, of course.”

“We’re not your personal performance monkeys, Quinn!” Blaise reminded him frowning.

“You’re right! You’re people and if you hang around, you’ll learn how I treat people,” Harry said.  
“Just so you know, I don’t give a shit about whether they’re wizards or muggles. **_If it bleeds, it dies_**.”

The other three shivered in fear, making Harry smirk darkly as he got back up from the couch and went to stand in front of Blaise, leaning forward until their noses brushed. The other boy was trembling, which only made Harry’s smirk widen to an evil, deranged grin.

“Do you bleed?” he asked softly.

“Not in front of you,” Blaise replied quietly.

Harry chuckled and patted his cheek.

“Smart boy,” he teased before turning away.

A moment later, Malinda appeared from Harry’s sleeve and the young teen grinned happily.

 ** _*Sleep well?*_** he asked her, ignoring the shocked reactions of his friends.

 ** _*I was woken up from the smell of fear,*_** Malinda replied in a hiss. ** _  
*Are you scaring them again, Hatchling? Shouldn’t you keep your friends close?*_**

**_*I should, but this is more fun.*_ **

“ _You’re a Parseltongue?!”_ Pansy screeched.

“Yes, I most certainly am!” Harry replied happily as he wrapped the snake around his neck like a scarf.  
“Now! I’ll be going again. You know. Buildings to blow up, lives to ruin and all! Draco, come with me.”

The blonde scowled and followed after him as he went back to the balcony.

“I’m not going with you killing people,” Draco told him as the window was closed behind them.

“Wasn’t planning on killing anyone today,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“I just said that because I liked how freaked out they looked.”

“So you don’t kill?” Draco asked, honestly shocked for a moment.

“Of course I don’t!” Harry laughed, rolling his eyes.  
“Jesus! I’m fucking twelve! No. the reason I didn’t write you back because a house elf stole my mail.”

Draco scowled confused at that.

“A house elf?” he asked.

“Yeah! Claimed that Hogwarts is dangerous for me or something,” Harry replied.  
“I told him that I was going to go back anyway, even if all my friends supposedly forgot about me.”

“Oh,” Draco mumbled.

“We talked it out nice and easy, and he gave them back,” Harry said cheerfully.

Draco nodded in understanding, but soon, his face crinkled again in a confused scowl.

“Then why did you tell us you forgot about _us_?” he asked.  
“Why that whole creepy story about killing people and blowing stuff up when it was just some elf?”

“Because I like freaking you guys out!”

“You’re the worst, Quinn,” Draco muttered before sighing.  
“We’ll be leaving again tomorrow morning, so I guess next time we see each other is at the train.”

“Enjoy the rest of your holiday, Drakey-poo!” Harry laughed as he put his mask back.

His hair and eyes turned back to their disguised color and clown make-up seemed to just appear on his face as Harry jumped from the balcony as Child’s Play. A small cushioning charm allowed him to land safely on the ground beneath and he quickly apparated back home.

“Are you still up?” Joker asked when Harry appeared in the living room with a loud crack.  
“It past midnight on a crimeless night! Get to bed!”

Harry laughed and saluted before rushing off towards his bedroom.

 


	38. Meeting Lockhart

“A daughter.”

Harley and Harry looked at each other nervously before refocusing in the heavily scowling Joker. They had arrived at the Leaky Cauldron a few days ago and had already done Harry’s shopping. During that time, Joker had gotten more and more suspicious of Harry and Harley’s secretive behavior and eventually sat them down, demanding to know what they were whispering about.

“I have a daughter?” Joker asked emotionlessly.

Harley nodded mutely. All color had left her face earlier as she stared up at her beloved ‘Mr. J’ with terrified eyes. With good reason.

“AND YOU DIDN’T FUCKING TELL ME I HAD A DAUGHTER?!”

“I was worried!” Harley squeaked.  
“You always said you didn’t like little kids a-and-…”

“You thought I’d do something to my own?! I RAISED HARRY DID’T I?!”

“Y-you did! B-but-…”

“AND YOU DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING EITHER EVEN THOUGH YOU _KNEW!”_

Harry jumped in fear and he stared at his father with wide eyes.

“I’m so sorry-!” he started.

He should have expected the slap in the face, but somehow it still caught him off guard.

“Puddin’- AH!” Harley shouted before she too was struck.

“DON’T EVER KEEP SECRETS FROM ME AGAIN!” Joker bellowed enraged.

Harry rubbed his cheek and nodded quickly while silently thanking whatever deity was out there that the room was sound proof. He could already imagine the whole hassle that would come with the wizarding world finding out about his dad’s true nature. Or worse, his own.

“Never again,” he promised hurried.

Joker took a deep, calming breath and grinned at him. When he reached out, Harry had to keep himself from flinching away, but this time, his father didn’t hurt him. instead, he ruffled Harry’s hair almost playfully.

“What did you say you named our baby girl, Harl?” he asked casually.  
“Hailey, right? Heh! Harley, Harry and Hailey. Nice collection of Quinns I’m getting huh?”

Harry couldn’t help but scowl at that comment and a horrifying thought struck him suddenly.

“When she’s older, will Hailey take my place?” he asked softly, looking at his parents with a sad expression.

“Sure, but that’s still a long ways away. 8 to 10 years, probably,” Joker shrugged.

Harry sagged in his seat. His lip trembled and tears started beading in the corners of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Harley gasped when she saw and threw herself onto her son, catching him in a crushing hug.

“Oh no, hun! We won’t replace our baby with our other baby!” she cried out.  
“We can love ya both just as much! Just ‘cause Hailey’s born don’t mean we won’t care about ya anymore! Right puddin’?”

“I was talking about the Child’s Play persona,” Joker shrugged.

Harry’s eyes widened in horror and he wrestled out of his mother’s arms so he could go stand defiantly in front of Joker. He was glaring hatefully, but the tears in his eyes wade it hard to take him serious at the moment.

“You’re going to give away my secret identity to her?!” he shouted.  
“I won’t let you! It’s mine, I made him! I made Child’s Play!”

“Shut up and calm down, kid,” Joker growled, glaring right back at the boy.

“NO! If you’re going to hurt me, go ahead!” Harry cried.  
“We’re in _my_ world now! You hurt me, and the whole Wizarding World will hate you more than they hate Voldemort! And Dick and Bruce  already thinks that you’re abusing me, so if I show up with one more unexplained bruise, he’s going to call the cops!”

Harley gasped in horror, but stayed where she was as Joker pulled out his wand.

“Crucio!”

Harry dropped on the ground, screaming and writhing in agony under his dad’s curse. It felt as if every nerve in his body was on fire. It was like being doused in a vat of acid while every bone in his body was being broken and at the same time, someone cut him up with a rusted blade. It was the worst kind of agony he had ever felt in his life.

When Joker stopped the curse, Harry was left lying, shivering and trembling in his tears, spit and snot until Harley rushed to his side and lifted his head on her lap. Harry curled into himself with a pathetic whimper. His dad had wanted to teach him the Unforgivables soon, but Harry hadn’t really thought he’d be on this side of one. He hadn’t thought the Torture Curse was so potent either.

“You bastard!” Harley hissed angrily at Joker.

“Shut up, Harley!” the clown in disguise growled back.  
“You stay the fuck out of this or you’re next!”

That shut Harley up immediately, but she still pulled Harry further on her lap in an attempt to protect him. Joker sighed and kneeled down next to them. He pulled Harry up by his hair so the boy would look at him, bloodshot eyes and red-faced.

“Calmed down again, kid?” Joker asked calmly.

Harry whimpered and nodded his head as best he could while still in the Joker’s grip.

“Good. Now you might actually _listen_ ,” the clown said.  
“When Hailey is old enough, she’ll take over as Child’s Play, because you’re going to grow out of it. When you’re older, I’ll have taught you everything I know, and then it’s your turn to spread your wings and fly out by yourself! Be your own criminal! You can still work for me. Hell you _will_ still work for me, but as an assassin instead of my sidekick. Got it?”

Harry nodded again, making Joker scowl.

“Use words, kid,” the man scolded.

“Yes, dad,” Harry croaked hoarsely.

“There’s a good boy.”

.              .              .               .              .

His muscles still ached from the torture curse, even thought it was already the next morning. To be completely honest, Harry had barely slept at all, dreaming weird things about a crying woman and green light. The same one he hadn’t had since he was six and it pissed him off royally. He knew what it was about for fuck’s sake! So what his birth mom was killed in front of him! A lot of people had died while he watched them! Lily Potter was nothing special.

“What can I get ye, kid?” Tom the barman asked, grinning his toothless grin.

“Coffee,” Harry muttered, because he couldn’t order alcohol at age 12.

The man still scowled at him, even as he went to grab a cup.

“Aren’t ye a bit young fer caffeine?” he asked.

“Not when I’m this tired I’m not,” Harry sneered.

The man just frowned as he started brewing a cup of coffee for Harry. The young teen meanwhile eyed the rather large bottle of expensive Firewhiskey on the shelve and looked around himself. No one seemed to be paying attention, nor was the barman, as he was busy with the coffee. Harry pulled out his wand and cast a whispered notice-me-not charm in the bottle.

Tom turned back towards him and smiled crookedly. Harry quickly slid his wand in his sleeve and grinned back while focusing on willing the bottle of strong alcohol to start floating. He was good at making things fly, had been since he was six or seven years old and he had practiced it to perfection.

“Thanks!” he said, overly cheerful as he took the coffee cup and hopped off the barstool.

Smirking, he started walking back to his room, the bottle of Firewhiskey sneakily floating behind him. Once he was in the empty hall leading to the rooms, he stopped and waiting for the booze to catch up before he grabbed it and poured some in his coffee. Some took their coffee with milk or sugar, he liked it best Irish, preferably with the bite of dragon fire to it.

He took a sip and hummed in pleasure at the burn of both the heat of the freshly made cup and of the strong alcohol. Just the way he liked it. Pleased with himself, he started walking again and opened the door to the room he shared with his parents.

“YES, Deeper Puddin’!” Harley wailed as soon as the door opened.

Harry’s eyes widened and he quickly shut the door again. For a few seconds, he just stood in front of the door, staring horrified at the wood before he turned his eyes to the bottle in his hand and frowned contemplatively.

“Forget the fucking coffee, I’m drinking you straight,” he muttered before taking a swig.

Slowly, Harry walked out of the Leaky Cauldron to creepily watch people in a dark corner in the busy shopping street. He wore a long black cloak and had the hood pulled over his face, hiding his identity. Malinda was lazing on his shoulders while he nursed his stolen bottle in hand, occasionally taking a swig.

In his other hand, he held his wand, the illegal one because people sometimes tended to recognize you by just the wand. He used it to hurl stinging hexes and leg-locker curses at passerby’s. Some people got angry at him for it, but the way Malinda reared up and hissed threateningly at anyone daring to come near had them all retreat again very fast. It was very amusing.

 ** _*Hatchling should be more careful,*_** the snake warned.  
**_*Not all wizards will turn tail because of me.*_**

 ** _*You say that as if I can’t handle them,*_** Harry chuckled.

“Quinn!”

Frowning, Harry took a last gulp from his bottle as he pocketed his wand and looked over while Draco approached him. The blonde had a deep scowl marring his face. Harry grinned and waved at him.

“Draco my friend, my brother in arms!” he exclaimed.  
“How did you recognize me even when I was so cleverly disguised?”

“The bloody snake,” Draco muttered, eyeing Malinda warily.  
“And I know only one person that can speak Parsel- I-is that Firewhiskey?”

Harry took off his hood and drank from the bottle again before offering it to Draco.

“Sure is! Want some?” he giggled.

Draco pulled up his nose and shook his head.

“Alright. More for me,” Harry shrugged.  
“This is good stuff though. Strongest brand of Firewhiskey that’s legal in Britain. They use actual Dragon Blood in the mix.”

Draco narrowed his eyes at him before looking around the two of them, as if looking for someone. When he couldn’t find what he found, he looked back at Harry.

“Are you buying your books now too?” he asked.

“Nah. I bought them a couple days ago with my parents,” Harry shrugged before taking a large gulp.  
“But they’re getting freaky in the Leaky Cauldron, and since all three of us are sharing one room…”

Draco shuddered in horror and gave Harry a sympathetic look.

“I’m sure father won’t mind if you spend the day with us instead,” he muttered.  
“But would you mind not… you know… bring that bottle? It would give the wrong impression.”

“Don’t you mean the right impression?” Harry teased chuckled.

Still, he pocketed the bottle and held the large inside pocket open to let Malinda crawl in as well.

“The right impression would in this case be the wrong impression,” Draco snorted.

“Ah? And would the wrong impression then be the right impression?” Harry asked.

“Yes it would.”

Mr. Malfoy was cold but kind, though it was obvious he didn’t particularly like Harry. Not that Harry cared about things like that. He talked cheerfully to Draco and clung to Lucius, acting like an adoring child much to the man’s annoyance. They went towards Flourish and Blotts, where a long line was already waiting to get in. The reason for this was proclaimed by a large banner stretched across the upper windows:

GILDEROY LOCKHART

will be signing copies of his autobiography

MAGICAL ME

today 12:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

“Hey! That’s the guy that wrote most of the books on our list!” Harry exclaimed excitedly.

He’d read some parts of the books before falling asleep. And after that, his dad had read them ‘to get a good laugh out of it’ which he could understand of course. The guy was a fucking joke. Harry liked jokes, usually, but this was a bad one. And bad jokes were the most terrible crime in his eyes.

“Lockhart is famous, especially by witches,” Draco sniffed.

“Really? Famous like Mr. Malfoy?” Harry asked innocently, batting his eyes at the man to whose arm he was clinging.

Lucius sneered and rolled his eyes before walking into the crowd with Harry and Draco following. A harassed-looking wizard stood at the door.

“Calmly, please, ladies… Don’t push, there… mind the books, now…”

Harry and the Malfoys squeezed inside. A long line wound right to the back of the shop, where Gilderoy Lockhart was signing his books. Harry was skipping happily next to a very disgruntled looking Draco. Gilderoy Lockhart came slowly into view, seated at a table surrounded by large pictures of his own face, all winking and flashing dazzlingly white teeth at the crowd. The real Lockhart was wearing robes of forget-me-not blue that exactly matched his eyes; his pointed wizard’s hat was set at a jaunty angle on his wavy hair. A short, irritable-looking man was dancing around taking photographs with a large black camera that emitted puffs of purple smoke with every blinding flash.

“Out of the way, there,” he snarled at the two of them, moving back to get a better shot.  
“This is for the Daily Prophet-”

“Big deal,” Draco growled, rubbing his foot where the photographer had stepped on it.

Gilderoy Lockhart heard him. He looked up. He saw Draco, and then he saw Harry.

“It can’t be Harry Potter?” he shouted, jumping to his feet.

The crowd parted, whispering excitedly. Lockhart dived forward, seized Harry’s arm, and pulled him to the front. The crowd burst into applause.

“Technically, my name is Hadrian Quinzel, but since everyone seems to adore me like they should, I’ll let it slide this once,” Harry said haughtily.

He felt Lockhart falter next to him, but he soon got over it and laughed jovially.

“Nice big smile, Harry,” Lockhart said, through his own gleaming teeth.  
“Together, you and I are worth the front page.”

“I hope you can pay for that though!” Harry laughed, winking at the photographer.

The man stopped taking pictures, and the smoke that had been growing around the Weasley family started to clear up again. Huh… Harry hadn’t even noticed them standing there…

“What do you mean?” the photographer asked.

“A good businessman doesn’t do anything for free!” Harry said grinning.  
“You want a picture of me, you pay up! But I like you, so I’ll give you a discount. 20 Galleons.”

For a moment, the photographer and Lockhart were completely silent before the famous moron started chuckling nervously.

“Looks like our friend here is a bit of a joker!” he teased.

Harry grinned wolfishly at that.

“And you would know all about Jokes, wouldn’t you?” he asked in a whisper  
**_“After all, you’re one yourself. And a bad one at that.”_**

The man’s smile faltered again, but he quickly recovered and smiled charmingly at the crowd.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he said loudly, waving for quiet.  
“What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I’ve been sitting on for some time! When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography – which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge, he had no idea that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, _Magical Me_. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!”

Harry’s grin widened to scary proportions at that. Perfect.

The crowd cheered and clapped and Harry found himself being presented with the entire works of Gilderoy Lockhart. Staggering slightly under their weight, he managed to make his way out of the limelight to the edge of the room, where Ginny Weasley was standing next to her new cauldron.

“You have these,” Harry mumbled distracted, tipping the books into the cauldron.  
“I’ve already got my own ones anyway…”

“Bet you loved that, didn’t you, Quinn?” Draco asked annoyed as he approached.  
“ _Famous_ Harry Potter can’t even go into a _bookshop_ without making the front page.”

“Leave him alone, he didn’t want all that!” the Weaslette growled.

It was the first time she had spoken in front of Harry. She was glaring at Draco. It was honestly adorable and Harry had to do his very best to keep from laughing. Cute little girl deciding to defend him while she had no idea who or what he was.

“Quinn, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend!” Draco drawled smirking.

Ginny went scarlet as Ron and the other Weasleys made their way over.

“Malfoy,” Ron sneered disgusted while the Twins glared at him too.

Draco didn’t seem the least bit fazed by the hostility.

 “Ron!” Mr. Weasley called, struggling over.  
“What are you doing? It’s too crowded in here, let’s go outside.”

“Well, well, well – Arthur Weasley.”

It was Lucius Malfoy. He stood with his hand on Draco’s shoulder, sneering at the group of Weasleys.

“Lucius,” Mr. Weasley said, nodding coldly.

“Busy time at the Ministry, I hear,” Lucius said with a casual sneer.  
“All those raids… I hope they’re paying you overtime?”

He reached into Ginny’s cauldron and extracted, from amid the glossy Lockhart books, a very old, very battered copy of ‘A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration’.

“Obviously not,” he said with a disgusted frown.  
“Dear me, what’s the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don’t even pay you well for it?”

Mr. Weasley flushed darker than Ginny had earlier and glared at Lucius.

“We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy,” he growled.

“Clearly,” Lucius muttered, his pale eyes straying to Mr. and Mrs. Granger, who were watching apprehensively along with their daughter.  
“The company you keep, Weasley… and I thought your family could sink no lower-”

There was a thud of metal as Ginny’s cauldron went flying. Mr. Weasley had thrown himself at Mr. Malfoy, knocking him backward into a bookshelf. Dozens of heavy spellbooks came thundering down on all their heads.

“Get him, Dad!” Fred or George yelled.

“No, Arthur, no!” Mrs. Weasley shrieked.

“Gentlemen, please — please!” cried the assistant.

And in all the commotion, Harry was leaning against the wall, laughing so hard he feared he might just die from lack of oxygen.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was grinning happily as he reached the room again and opened the door. His eyes widened in horror and he couldn’t help but think that if he had any innocence left, it would have been erased right that instant.

“AH! Yes! MORE!”

“Good Chaos! Are you two still going?!” he exclaimed horrified.

“Get out, kid,” Joker huffed, glaring at him.

“Alright, fine. But if it’s another girl, might I suggest naming her Lucy?”

He laughed and dodged the Stinging Hex thrown his way.

“And if it’s a boy, please, for the love of all that’s dark and evil, don’t call him JJ!”

 


	39. Back to School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's updating early??? :D  
> I'm on a roll with this story! I will be able to update several times a week at least until we reach third year. I don't post on weekends, but next week, I will probably have an update every day.

“Move it!” Joker yelled as he speed walked to the wall separating Platform 9 ¾ from the rest of the station.

Harry rolled his eyes and grumbled some expletives under his breath while pushing his cart together with his mother. Harley was overly excited to finally see the ‘magic train’ that would take Harry for his second year at Hogwarts. She would spend half her time with Joker and half of her time with Hailey while Harry was gone, but she’d promised to be around for Christmas.

“C’mon, Harl. We’re going first!” Joker called out, holding out his hand.

Harley squealed happily and let go of the trolley to practically jump in the Joker’s arms. Harry watched annoyed while his parents disappeared through the fake wall. With a sigh, he readied himself and started running. Heads were turned as he harshly slammed into the wall and he cursed loudly and profusely, making several women blush. He stood back up and brushed off his pants, looking at the clock. Only two minutes left before the train left…

He stepped up to the wall again and pressed his hands against it. Real, hard stone. He tried pushing on it and scowled angrily as nothing happened. The wall was completely closed and Harry couldn’t get through anymore.

“Fuck!” he growled, slamming his fist hard enough to make his knuckles bleed.

He looked around himself to make sure that no one was paying attention to him anymore and grabbed his trolley tightly and squeezed his eyes shut. With a soft popping sound, he disapparated from the Platform and found himself on Platform 9 ¾ only a second later. His dad looked over with a deep scowl.

“What took you so long?” he asked annoyed.

“Someone locked the door,” Harry muttered.

Joker’s brow raised up, while Harley gasped and grabbed Harry’s face.

“You’re bruised!” she exclaimed.

“That’s usually what happens when you run into a fucking wall.”

“The elf again?” Joker asked scowling.  
“Stupid thing should be dealt with. Quickly.”

Harry grinned widely.

“Next time I’ll see him, I’ll deal with him,” he promised.

“Good,” Joker said, nodding satisfied.  
“Until then, get on that train and wreck Hogwarts’ shit!”

Harry laughed and saluted his dad before rushing into the train, his luggage being elevated inside by Joker. All just in time too, because just as Harry and his stuff were inside, the whistle sounded and the doors closed.

“Bye baby!” Harley yelled, waving at Harry.

Harry grinned and waved back for a moment before grabbing his stuff and started looking for his friends. Unfortunately for him, they had agreed to meet at the back of the train, so he had a long trek before him where he had to elbow his way – he took this part literally and caused about 12 students bruises around their sides and ribs – through the entire train.

When he finally arrived at the back, Harry decided to pull open every single compartment door, calling the name “Drakey-poo?” every time until he found the right one.

“Don’t call me that,” Draco grumbled, glaring at Harry.

Harry grinned and put his trunk on the luggage holder above the seats before plopping down between Draco and Pansy, much to the annoyance of the girl. Harry’s behavior during their visit to Gotham had freaked the girl out enough not to say anything though, and that suited Harry just fine.

The others in the compartment were Blaise, sitting opposite from Draco, and Crabbe and Goyle. Both baby trolls were watching Harry with deep frowns. Had Harry ever even talked to the two of them last year? He remembered them always being around Draco, but he hadn’t once heard them talk. At least he didn’t think so.

“Can you two even talk?” he blurted out.

Crabbe’s (at least he thought it was Crabbe, he never really got around learning who was who with them) scowl deepened while Goyle’s brows raised high up in his hairline.

“Course we can!” Goyle said.

“Huh. Would have made more sense if you were mute.”

Blaise snorted amused, but slapped his hands over his mouth when he received a glare from Crabbe. Harry opened his mouth to comment on something again, but Pansy’s loud gasp made him forget what he was about to say, especially when she grabbed his hand.

“What happened to you?!” she shrieked.

Harry gave her a sad pout and rubbed his bruised cheek.

“Some muggle bullies attacked me out of nowhere! Like they could smell I was different from them…”

Pansy scowled and pulled out her wand to heal the skinned knuckles while Draco just narrowed his eyes at him in suspicion.

“Are you playing with us again, Quinn?” he accused.

Harry just smiled innocently and looked back towards Pansy, who was softly chanting a healing spell.

“I was thinking of dying my hair red this year. Or blue,” he said pleasantly.

Draco sighed and turned away from Harry. He pressed his face against the cool window and stared outside with an annoyed glare. He wasn’t going to get an answer out of Harry anyway.

“Why not green?” Blaise suggested, making Draco groan in annoyance.  
“You know, for house pride and such? You looked good like that when we saw you last. It’s better than bloody _red_ at least.”

“Not enough variety,” Harry replied with a sinister grin.

“We were actually just talking about our visit to Gotham,” Pansy spoke up.  
“We were wondering which story you told us was true. Or if any was.”

“Oh? What does everyone think so far?” Harry asked curiously.

“Well, _I_ think the one about the House Elf. Even you wouldn’t be able to come up with something like _that_!” the girl replied.  
“Draco thinks they’re both too farfetched to be real and Blaise actually believes you are a serial killer.”

At that last part, she snorted and rolled her eyes while Blaise glowered at her.

“You saw the papers too! That Child’s Play figure looked exactly like Quinn in his disguise!”

Harry laughed and shrugged. He wasn’t going to tell them that they were technically all right… yet. Let them guess for a while longer.

.              .              .               .              .

“Wow! That’s trippy!” Harry laughed as he skipped over to the carriages.

The closest of the black creatures lifted its skeletal head and looked at Harry with onyx eyes. The young boy grinned wider and reached out, petting the horse on the nose.

“Good horsy,” he coed.  
“Such a pretty horsy.”

“The heck are you talking about, Quinn?” Draco asked scowling.  
“And why the bloody hell are you petting the air? Are you crazy?”

“I am, but I’m petting a horse,” Harry snickered.

“No, you’re not,” Pansy muttered, glaring at Harry.

Harry scowled and looked between his friends and the horses. Did they really not see them? They were pretty obvious to him though…

“Cool! Means they’re just my horses then,” he said cheerfully.

“You’re so weird!” Pansy complained.

“I can see them too,” Theo spoke up suddenly.

Harry scowled. The shy bookworm barely ever spoke to anyone, and last year he’d done his damn best to avoid Harry whenever he could. The kid didn’t have much friends. In fact, Harry was pretty sure he didn’t have _any_ , but the boy didn’t seem like he wanted them either. Harry watched him curiously and cocked his head, grinning as the other boy shuffled uncomfortably.

“You know what they are?” he asked.

Theo shook his head and glanced back at the horses.

“You mean there actually are horses pulling those carriages?” Draco asked shocked.

“Yup! Told you I wasn’t seeing things… this time,” Harry snickered.

“What do they look like?” Blaise asked curiously.

“They’re like black zombie horses with giant batwings!” Harry exclaimed happily.  
“They’re so cool! I want one! I think I’ll ask my dad to get me one of those when I’m back home…”

“Of course you’d want a bloody zombie horse,” Draco grumbled annoyed.

“You’re just jealous because you can’t see them~” Harry shot back cheerfully.

.              .              .               .              .

The Sorting Ceremony was very uninteresting and Harry spend it considering colors for his hair and make loud guesses of every kid that went up the stool. He shouted rudely whenever he was wrong and cheered happily when he was right until Snape got sick of him and cast a silencing charm on him. After that, Harry decided to take up drumming. He’d always wanted to learn an instrument anyway, though he had fancied the trumpet more.

The set of twins that had now become part of their house, Carrow Flora and… the other one he couldn’t remember, were staring at him. Harry grinned at the duo and winked, making one of them blush and look away again while the other one scowled.

When Weasley Ginny was called forward, Harry found himself very disappointed that she ended up in Gryffindor. He’d hoped she’d end up somewhere else so he could watch her freak out when she found herself separated from all her brothers. Probably in Hufflepuff as he looked at her, though if she’d end up in Slytherin, he could have seen Ron lose it.

During the Banquet, Dumbledore announced Gilderoy Lockhart as their new Defense teacher, which caused the entire female student body to cheer and applause as if the man was a famous teen pop singer. Harry rolled his eyes and acted as if he was gagging, which made Draco and Blaise chuckle amused while Pansy, Daphne and the other girls were staring starry-eyed at the new teacher.

He guessed he was lucky that the man wasn’t going to give a speech and after that, he was too distracted by the food to really care about the weirdo new teacher.

“I can’t believe Dumbledore hired _him_ ,” Draco muttered.  
“I mean, he’s incompetent, sure, but not _that_ incompetent to actually _believe_ a word that creep spouts!”

“Don’t talk about him like that!” Daphne fumed.  
“ _Professor Lockhart_ is a hero and a great man!”

“A great conman! HAH!” Harry laughed.

The silencing charm had worn off a little while ago already, so he had no issues talking again.

“He’s our _teacher_ , Quinn!” Pansy hissed angrily.

Tracy, Millicent and Haven were nodding along too, all big frowns on their faces. The boys just rolled their eyes and turned away from the swooning girls. They’d realize what a fraud Lockhart was soon enough, they were sure.

.              .              .               .              .

The rooming arrangements were the same as the year before. Since there were 10 boys in their year, they were staying in two rooms of 5. Harry was put together with Draco, Blaise and the troll duo. The other room held Theodore Nott, Raphael Chambers, Kale Grover, Alexander Xavier and Gordon McAdam. Harry didn’t like any of them though, so he was perfectly fine with the current order. At least he had Draco and Blaise. They were the fun ones.

“I can’t wait to start classes!” Harry sparkled happily as they all got ready for bed.

“You seriously want to go to Lockhart’s class?” Draco asked disgusted.

Harry grinned and shrugged and Blaise smirked.

“You have some plan to drive him absolutely insane, don’t you?” the Italian asked.

Harry’s grin widened.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said innocently.

All four other occupants in the room snorted amused at that statement. It was obvious they didn’t believe him.

 


	40. Gilderoy Lockhart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post this chapter yesterday, but I was sick. I'm still not feeling 100% but at least I'm well enough to write again!

Harry decided on dying his hair both red and blue with a split in the middle. The purple from last year had been for his dad after all, so he decided to now use his mom’s color scheme. Maybe next year he could go with Hailey’s favorite color, if he had one by then of course. Otherwise he’d have to think on it some more. Maybe just blue…

It was the first day of classes and it just so happened to be lunch break where the Slytherin group had decided to go outside and just sit around in the warm sun. Harry and Draco stood talking about Quidditch for several minutes before Harry became aware that he was being closely watched. Looking up, he saw the very small, mousy-haired boy he’d seen being Sorted last night staring at Harry as though transfixed. He was clutching what looked like an ordinary Muggle camera, and the moment Harry looked at him, he went bright red like the right side of Harry’s hair.

“All right, Harry? I’m-I’m Colin Creevey,” he said breathlessly, taking a tentative step forward.  
“I’m in Gryffindor. D’you think… would it be all right if… can I have a picture?”

Harry blinked and grinned.

“Of course!” he agreed readily.

“Thank you so much!” the boy beamed, edging further forward.  
“I know all about you. Everyone’s told me. About how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you’ve still got a lightning scar on your forehead.”

He glanced up at the scar, framed by brightly colored hair.

“And a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures will move!” Colin drew a great shuddering breath of excitement.  
“It’s amazing here, isn’t it? I never knew all the odd stuff I could do was magic till I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad’s a milkman, he couldn’t believe it either. So I’m taking loads of pictures to send home to him. And it’d be really good if I had one of you.”

Harry was reeling at how fast and how much this kid could talk and was actually grateful when he finally shut up for a second to take a deep breath. Colin looked between Harry and Draco for a second before looking back over to Harry with hesitant hope.

“Maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?”

“Sure thing! But that will cost you extra…”

“E-extra?” the young boy stammered.

“Yeah. You don’t think I’m handing out free pictures, right?” Harry teased.  
“If you want _that_ I’d suggest going to Lockhart for a signed photo-”

Of course, saying his name was like summoning the damned man it seemed.

“What’s all this?” Lockhart asked, striding toward them, his turquoise robes swirling behind him.  
“Who’s giving out signed photos?”

Harry gave an aggravated sigh and glared scathingly at the man while any girl nearby started swooning instantly. Next to him, Draco pulled up his nose in disgust and stepped back, leaving Harry to fend for himself. He was pinned to Lockhart’s side in an instant, Harry saw Draco slide smirking back into the crowd. Harry turned his glare towards the blonde at that and mouthed _‘traitor’_ , making Draco smirk widen and he shrugged his shoulders in a mock-helpless manner.

“Come on then, Mr. Creevey,” said Lockhart, beaming at Colin.  
“A double portrait, can’t do better than that, and we’ll both sign it for you.”

Colin fumbled for his camera and took the picture as the bell rang behind them, signaling the start of afternoon classes.

“Off you go, move along there,” Lockhart called to the crowd, and he set off back to the castle with Harry, who was at this point fuming with anger.

Harry was sorely tempted to use some lethal spells on the bastard teacher, but he kept it in. It wouldn’t do him any good if he killed the man with so many witnesses around. He’d have to wait until a better time. And more creative than cutting or exploding hexes too.

“A word to the wise, Harry,” Lockhart spoke paternally as they entered the building through a side door.  
“I covered up for you back there with young Creevey. If he was photographing me, too, your schoolmates won’t think you’re setting yourself up so much…”

“Thanks for the save, Professor,” Harry muttered monotonous.

Lockhart just smiled brightly at him as if he hadn’t heard the blatant sarcasm in Harry’s tone at all. Hell, he probably hadn’t. The man was stupid enough to miss it, after all.

“Let me just say that handing out signed pictures at this stage of your career isn’t sensible. It looks a tad bigheaded, Harry, to be frank. There may well come a time when, like me, you’ll need to keep a stack handy wherever you go, but” – he gave a little chortle – “I don’t think you’re quite there yet.”

They had reached Lockhart’s classroom and he let Harry go at last. Harry yanked his robes straight and headed for a seat at the very back of the class, where he busied himself with piling all seven of Lockhart’s books in front of him, so that he could avoid looking at the real thing. The man was the most disgusting creature he had ever met.

Draco plopped down in the seat next to him with a wide, self-satisfied grin.

“First Weaslette and now that Creevey kid. I think you might be getting a fan club soon,” he said.

“I’ll be sure to nominate you as president, if that happens,” Harry replied dryly.

Ignoring Draco’s indignant huff, he pulled out his notebook and ballpoint pen – which he now also used in class because he _hated_ those stupid quills – and started writing his dad.

_[What’s the best way to get rid of a teacher?]_

_[Permanently or temporarily?]_

Harry chuckled amused and clicked his pen a few times.

_[Permanently]_

_[Not what I did, that’s for sure.]_

_[And what did you do?]_

_[Used an entrails expelling hex in the middle of class. Almost ended up in Azkaban, but I was still a minor… for another week.]_

The reply made Harry snort in amusement. Typical.

_[So what should I do?]_

_[You’re a smart kid. You’ll figure something out.]_

“Thanks for the lack of help, then,” Harry muttered as he closed the book again.

“What?” Draco asked confused, looking weirdly at the dual colored haired teen.

Instead of replying, Harry looked forward to the front of the class where Lockhart had picked up Millicent’s copy of _Travels with Trolls_ , and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.

“Me,” he said, pointing at it and winking as well.  
“Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award, but I don’t talk about that. I didn’t get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!”

He waited for them to laugh. A few people smiled weakly. Sadly, the lack of enthusiasm didn’t deter the man in the slightest.

“I see you’ve all bought a complete set of my books, well done. I thought we’d start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you’ve read them, how much you’ve taken in-”

When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class.

“You have thirty minutes. Start… now!”

Harry looked down at his paper and read:

  1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s favorite color?
  2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s secret ambition?
  3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart’s greatest achievement to date?



On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to: 

  1. When is Gilderoy Lockhart’s birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?



Harry grinned widely and cracked his knuckles. They really shouldn’t give him opportunities like this. Lockhart wouldn’t like it at all.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.

“Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully. I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples… though I wouldn’t say no to a large bottle of Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey!”

Harry rolled his eyes while Draco actually looked like he might throw up. Suddenly, Lockhart’s smile melted away and all the color drained from his face. The whole class sat up straight, frowning in confusion as the teacher’s hands started trembling. Harry grinned and leaned forward. It looked like the teacher had come across his test. His guess was proved correctly when the man’s eyes flitted over to Harry and widened fearfully. Harry just smirked and winked at him.

“C-class dismissed,” Lockhart choked out.  
“A-and detention for Mr.” – he looked at Harry’s paper again for a moment – “Mr. Potter/Quinzel.”

Harry chuckled and stretched lazily as the rest of his peers packed their stuff together. Harry followed calmly behind his friends. Blaise and a few other boys were laughing quietly among themselves and patted Harry on the back while most of the girl’s glared bitterly his way.

“What did you _do_?!” Draco asked in a hushed whisper.

“I just answered the questions,” Harry replied innocently.  
“I guess the teach didn’t like my answers thought…”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry gave a triumphant shout as he found what he had been looking for. Without even looking at madam Pince, Harry ran out of the library with his unchecked book. He ignored the indignant shout of “Mr. Quinzel!” that came from the stern librarian and just kept running until he was back in the dungeons.

“Draco! Have you seen Theo?” Harry asked, jumping eagerly up and down.

“I think he was in his dorm…” Draco replied, eyeing Harry warily.

The dual colored haired teen just grinned and ran off again. With an annoyed sigh, Draco followed. Harry passed his own dorm room and stormed into the second one, where Theo the other second year Slytherin boys slept. Theo just walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist when Harry spotted him.

“Theo! I found it!” he shouted happily, grabbing the boy’s wrist and pulling him towards the beds.

“Q-Quinn?! Wait!” the other boy yelped, but there was nothing he could do when the towel fell off.

Harry ignored it and forced Theo to sit on the first bed he got to before handing him the book he had been reading, his face stretched in a wide grin.

“They’re called Thestrals and you can only see them when you watched someone die!” he said, pointing at the drawing horse-like creatures.  
“Isn’t this exciting? People believe that they’re an omen of death, but I think that’s total bull! Death already came and went by the time you see them, right?”

Harry laughed while Theo turned pale and quickly handed the book back to Harry.

“Th-that’s-” he started, but was interrupted by an angry shout.

“What the hell are you doing sitting on my bed with your naked arse, Nott?!” Alex Xavier shouted.

.              .              .               .              .

Theo was quick to go back to avoiding Harry whenever he could, but other than last year, Harry had no intentions in letting him. The whole thing with the Thestrals had him interested in the silent boy and Harry tried to get Theo to join his little club of friends. He jokingly said that with Hermione not having much time for him lately, he needed another bookworm.

Rumors of how Lockhart botched up the lesson with the Gryffindors by releasing Cornish Pixies and then just leaving once he found he couldn’t catch them again was mulling around fast, though the Gryffindor girls, especially Hermione, were very defensive over their _beloved_ new professor and said it was just to get them some hands-on practice.

“Our class went way better,” Blaise snickered during dinner.  
“Quinn did _something_ with his test papers and the class was instantly dismissed.”

Hermione didn’t seem even the slightest bit amused by this and she glared at Harry.

“What did you do this time?” she asked sternly.

“ _Nothing_! Jeez!” Harry exclaimed offended.  
“I did the pop-quiz – which was total bullshit by the way – and for some reason, I got detention!”

“Well, you must have done something then,” Hermione scoffed.  
“What did you answer anyway? I bet you had not even one answer right.”

“Oh. I had some right!” Harry laughed, grinning darkly.  
**_“Just not his kind of right.”_**

Hermione huffed annoyed and stomped back over to the Gryffindor table.

“I still want to know what you answered on that test,” Blaise muttered, looking inquisitively at Harry.

“Just let it be. Not knowing could very well save our sanity,” Draco grumbled.

This made Harry laugh and he gave Draco a silly grin.

“You act as if you’d go insane if you read what I answered!”

“In your case, I do believe that’s possible,” Draco replied with a roll of his eyes.  
“You’re so crazy that I can actually feel it affecting me whenever we talk.”

Harry laughed cheerfully at that and ruffled his own red and blue hair again with a bright grin.

“Aren’t you joining the Quidditch Team this year, Draco?” Pansy asked, turning away from the other girls with whom she had been talking about how amazing Lockhart is.

The question had Draco puff out his chest and he nodded.

“As a Seeker. Father even bought the whole team new brooms,” he said proudly.

“Congratulations!” Harry cheered, clapping his friend on the back.  
“This proves once again that money really _can_ buy everything!”

“I’m in the team because of _talent_ , Quinn!” Draco hissed blushing.

“Whatever you say! At least you can’t be worse than Higgs was…”

 


	41. Whispering Snakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day??? What??? Aren't I amazing :D

That Saturday, the Slytherin Quidditch team decided to get together early in the morning. Luckily, Flint had informed them the night before, so Harry wasn’t off yet for his morning practice like he usually was. He was skipping happily ahead of the others while Draco walked in the back, still half asleep and grumpy. The blonde wasn’t really a morning person.

As they entered the pitch, they found the Gryffindors already in the air, hovering and ready to start practicing. Harry saw Fred and George slumped on their own ratty brooms, eyes barely open at all. It seemed that not many of their team was actually awake at all. Some of the Slytherins scowled confused at the presence of the Gryffindors, but Flint seemed extremely smug.

Wood shot toward the ground, landing harder than he probably meant to in his anger, staggering slightly as he dismounted. Fred, and George followed.

“Flint!” Wood bellowed at the Slytherin Captain.  
“This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!”

“Plenty of room for all of us, Wood,” Flint replied smirking.

The three female chasers of the Gryffindor team came down as well, along with their third year Seeker, Hopkins. Harry was sort of regretful that there were no girls on the Slytherin team. It could have been fun to watch them change…

“But I booked the field!” Wood spat angrily.  
“I booked it!”

“Ah,” Flint said smugly.  
“But I’ve got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape _. ‘I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practice today on the Quidditch field owing to the need to train their new Seeker.’_ ”

“You’ve got a new Seeker?” Wood asked distracted.  
“Where?”

On cue, Draco elbowed his way to the front and smirked proudly at the shocked Gryffindors.

“Aren’t you Lucius Malfoy’s son?” one of the Weasley twins asked scowling.

“Funny you should mention Draco’s father,” Flint piped up as the whole Slytherin team smiled broadly.  
“Let me show you the generous gift he’s made to the Slytherin team.”

Everyone but Harry held up their new, slick black brooms with fine gold lettering spelling the words _Nimbus Two Thousand and One_. Harry still had the same broom as last year in hand. The quality was about the same, but this one was nicely painted and Harry didn’t want to give that up, even though he had now a spare one, since Draco’s dad _had_ bought seven.

“Very latest model. Only came out last month,” Flint spoke carelessly, flicking a speck of dust from the end of his own.  
“I believe it outstrips the old Two Thousand series by a considerable amount. As for the old Cleansweeps” – he smiled nastily at Fred and George, who were both clutching Cleansweep Fives – “sweeps the board with them.”

None of the Gryffindor team could think of anything to say for a moment. Malfoy was smirking so broadly his cold eyes were reduced to slits. Harry had long since moved to the back of the group to better observe and was laughing silently the entire time. How _perfect_ were the expressions of rage the Gryffindor Team bore. So beautifully _hateful_.

.              .              .               .              .

By the time practice was over, Harry was in the most cheerful mood he’d been in a long time. No matter the spats and curses the Gryffindors had hurled at them, in the end, they’d been the ones to get the pitch thanks to Snape’s heavy favoritism. Who would have thought such blatant bias could be so much fun! When you were on the right side of course.

Most Slytherin students kept their distance from Harry the entire day while he was smiling like that, and even Hermione didn’t stop by, probably still angry for Harry’s disrespect for Lockhart. The twins, however, had, and the three of them had been discussing prank ideas to make their new teacher’s life hell. And every time they came up with a good idea, Harry wrote it in his notebook.

“Wicked thing!” Fred said grinning.  
“Does it only give you advice on pranks or more?”

“Much more!” Harry laughed before slamming the book closed.

He glanced up at the clock then and sighed. It was 7:55 in the evening, which meant he only had 5 minutes left to get to Lockhart’s office for his detention.

“Talk to you tomorrow?” he asked the redhead duo.

“See you tomorrow, Harry!” the twins said in unison.

Harry laughed and waved at them before walking along the second-floor corridor to Lockhart’s office. His smile melted as he got closer, and once he reached the office, he was scowling unhappily. He gritted his teeth and knocked. The door flew open at once and Lockhart beamed down at him.

“Ah, here’s the scalawag!” he said.  
“Come in, Harry, come in!”

Shining brightly on the walls by the light of many candles were countless framed photographs of Lockhart. He had even signed a few of them. Another large pile lay on his desk.

“Now, before we start sorting through my fan-mail, we must discuss your test answers,” Lockhart said, all cheer from earlier gone.

He handed Harry his paper again, and Harry couldn’t help but grin when he saw his own answers.

  1. _What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s favorite color?_



_Pink, like Barbie_

  1. _What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s secret ambition?_



_To become a real life Ken Doll_

  1. _What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart’s greatest achievement to date?_



_Not getting caught as the big fraud he obviously is_

It went on and on just like that until it ended with:

  1. _When is Gilderoy Lockhart’s birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?_



_When Hell freezes over and a medical surgery to shrink his enormously large ego, which is in compensation of his tiny baby penis and lack of balls_

Harry gave the paper back to Lockhart with a deep frown marring his face.

“These wasn’t what I answered!” he exclaimed angrily.  
“Someone must have done something to my test!”

“Oh, really?” Lockhart asked skeptically.

“Yes! I answered that your favorite color is lilac, and that your secret ambition is to become a painter! Also, your perfect gift is harmony between magical and non-magical people!”

The joke of a teacher stared dumbstruck at Harry who smiled innocently at him. Harry could be accused of many things, but he was a good listener. Lockhart had given several of the correct answers himself when looking through the tests during class and Daphne had been so kind as to instruct all the boys in their year of the other correct answers. Harry had fallen asleep after the first six, but that was enough to fool this fool.

“Ah… well… That’s the danger of being famous, dear boy,” Lockhart said, smiling weakly.  
“There will always be some jealous people out to get you in trouble. Especially when you’re so young and eager like you.”

“A good thing I have such an amazing fake- I mean teacher as you to guide me, then!” Harry said cheerfully.

Lockhart faltered for a moment at Harry’s ‘slip-up’ but quickly dismissed it as Harry grinned brightly up at him. slowly, the man walked back towards his desk, keeping a wary eye on the boy that followed him.

“W-well then… I suppose that you can address the envelopes for now,” he mumbled.

Harry nodded and set to work. For the next several hours, he wrote diligently, and if some of the addresses happened to be ones that didn’t exist, well… no one could blame a 12 year old that was staying up past his bedtime to not make any mistakes, right? He did wonder how the Minister of Magic would react if a small dozen signed photos of Lockhart ended up at his door though… His wife might be happy about it, Harry supposed.

He tensed suddenly when he heard a strange, whispering voice. It was a voice to chill the bone marrow, a voice of breathtaking, ice-cold venom. That made Harry blush with the darkness he could hear in it.

**_*Come… come to me… Let me rip you… Let me tear you… Let me kill you…*_ **

That… was definitely Parseltongue. But how? Harry was pretty sure that he was the only one in the school – no, England – that could speak it. His dad was in Gotham and Voldemort was too weak to return here this soon again, so it had to be someone else, but who?

“I must be really tired…” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Are you?” Lockhart asked, looking up at Harry I surprise.  
“Great Scott! Look at the time! We’ve been here nearly four hours! I’d never have believed it. The time’s flown, hasn’t it?”

Harry didn’t answer. He was straining his ears to hear the voice again, but there was no sound now except for Lockhart telling him to be very careful not to let the fame get to his head or something like this might happen again. With a distracted nod, Harry left.

He was halfway towards the dungeons when his book lit up inside his pocket, growing hot. Quickly, Harry ducked in a nearby alcove and opened it.

_[Time to come over and play.]_

.              .              .               .              .

The hostage situation was already two hours in, and Batman and Robin had almost reached the Joker when Child’s Play suddenly showed up. No one had expected him to just suddenly appear, and so, the police force was quickly driven back. Yes, Child’s Play was only just a boy, but he was very well trained and he had the element of surprise on his side. Jim Gordon and his taskforce had no option but to pull back and regroup, especially when the ‘Prince Heir of Crime’ killed four of his men in one go.

“Fear me! I am your doom!” Child’s Play cackled, dancing on the roof of City Hall.

He had a machine gun in his hands and was shooting around at the street below, all the while laughing maniacally. His mom had climbed up on the roof too shortly after and joined him with her own fully automatic rifle. No one was able to get close to the building where Joker was holding the mayor and his assistant hostage for 30 million dollar.

“You’re doomed! You’re all doomed!” Harry cackled loudly, shooting someone in the chest.

“What is this? Friday the 13th?”

Child’s Play laughed and turned to face Robin and Batman. He and Harley quickly aimed their guns on the vigilante duo, who dived away just in time not to get hit by the rain of bullets send their way. Child’s Play was still laughing with an insane cackle, and Harley too was giggling madly.

When it was obvious they weren’t going to get rid of the heroic duo with shooting them, they threw the guns to the side and pulled out other weapons. Where Harley kept the giant mallet she pulled from nowhere, Harry wasn’t sure, but he was confident that his dad had charmed it to shrink at will. He himself still preferred his own juggling pins, which were charmed to be light in his hand, but heavy for anyone else, which they should be because they were made of lead.

The sun was already coming up, lighting the roof with its dark yellow rays and making the whole scene look a lot more intense. Child’s Play grinned and tightened his grip on his pins while leering at Robin. He always loved fighting the other teen. It was one of his favorite things in the world, along with spending time with Dick.

“I’m Chucky, wanna play?” he asked teasingly, making Robin scowl annoyed.

“Please tell me you’re not going to be quoting horror movies the entire time!” the young hero groaned.

“If you don’t like it, come shut me up, Bird-boy!” Child’s Play laughed.

The other boy growled in annoyance and charged at him, pulling out three batarangs. Child’s Play made a couple cartwheels to dodge them, all the while laughing in exhilaration. There was absolutely nothing that could make him feel so _alive_ as when he was fighting Robin.

When he was back on his feet, he barely had the time to lift his pins before Robin was on him, attacking with escrima sticks. The attacks came so fast after each other that Child’s Play had a hard time keeping up. Gritting his teeth in annoyance, he charged one hit with magic, forcing Robin back. Unfortunately, this made him stagger back as well.

“Baby!” Harley screamed as Child’s Play fell over the side of the roof.

Child’s Play cursed loudly and tried to grab his wand, but the damn thing got stuck on the inside of his sleeve. The ground came closer very fast and the green haired criminal prodigy closed his eyes against the inevitable contact with the ground. Instead, however, he felt a strong arm wrap around his middle and a painful tug that made his stomach lurch as his fall was forcefully interrupted.

A second later, he was still thrown to the ground and he shouted as he crashed into the concrete. A loud cacophony of voices could be heard around him and two sets of shoes appeared in his line of vision. He peeked up and scowled, finding Batman and Captain Gordon staring down at him.

“He’s yours now,” Batman told the chief of police before turning around and going back up to the roof with his grappling hook.

Two police officers came forward and grabbed Child’s Play by the arms, hauling him up forcefully. The boy grunted in pain. He was definitely going to have some bruises from this.

“Harold Napier, you are under arrest for attacking and killing seven police officers and aiding in the kidnapping and hostage-holding of the mayor,” Jim Gordon spoke up.  
“Get him in the van boys. He’ll be going straight back to Arkham once the Batman had finished up in there.”

Child’s Play’s blood ran cold at those words. He couldn’t get arrested now! Tomorrow was a school day! Everyone would be suspicious if he didn’t show up!

“Fuck you asshole!” he spat hatefully.  
“You think I’m just gonna come quietly?”

He did a backflip to escape from the two holding him tight and pulled out a small bomb, which he quickly dropped. The Joker Gas inside quickly spread around, hiding the whole street in a dark cloud of deadly smoke. Child’s Play was immune to it himself, thanks to his aunt Ivy and could just slip away while the police force panicked and desperately tried to get to safety.

Child’s Play apparated himself to the top of a roof a few blocks away and pulled his goggles off with a wince. He switched them for his glasses in an instant, even though he usually used contacts and pulled out his notebook to message his dad.

_[Police is out, and so am I. Send me back.]_

_[See you at Christmas, kid.]_ was the short reply he got.

In an instant, the book started heating up and glowing brightly and Harry closed his eyes as he felt by now more than familiar pull of the Portkey being activated.

.              .              .               .              .

“You missed breakfast.”

Harry tensed and looked over to the bathroom door, where Draco was standing, glaring at him. When he saw the state Harry was in, however, he tensed and his eyes widened in surprise.

“What happened?” Draco asked shocked.

Harry lowered the make-up brush away from his bruised cheek and raised a brow.

“Who says something happened?” he asked innocently.

“You- the bloody bruise on your face, you moron!” Draco shouted.

Harry chuckled and turned back towards the mirror dabbing the concealer in place.

“I walked into a door,” he shrugged.

“You’re such an idiot, Quinn,” Draco sighed.  
“What? You can’t even walk properly now?”

Harry grinned at that. Ah… the wonders of pampered little boys. Draco actually believed that stupid lie.

“And why do you have make-up anyway?” Draco asked, glaring at Harry.

Ok, so maybe he was a bit smarter than Harry gave him credit for…

“To make me look pretty of course!” he replied, acting offended.  
“I think you could use it too. I do believe I see the beginnings of acne…”

Draco’s eyes widened and he quickly leaned closer to the mirror to inspect his face. When he didn’t find anything wrong, he scoffed in annoyance and walked back out of the bathroom.

“Fine then. Don’t tell me,” he muttered bitterly.

 


	42. A Message in Blood

With October came the first kids with colds and to many of the first and second year Slytherins it was great entertainment to watch the kids walk back out of Madam Pomfrey’s office with steaming ears from Pepper-Up Potions. Ginny Weasley was one of the kids who had visited Madam Pomfrey for some Pepper-Up Potion. Harry had to admit that the bright red hair and the steaming ears made her look as if her head was on fire, and that was indeed pretty funny.

They had several more training sessions too, but never that early in the morning. After that one time that Flint had stolen the pitch from Wood, some Gryffindors had apparently decided to go complain to McGonagall, who had then flown in a rage and went to scold Snape. After that, Flint had been instructed that if he wanted to pitch, he had to book it just like the other three Houses. The 7th year was pretty unhappy about that, but there was little anyone could do about it, and so, they started a regular training schedule where they had the pitch every Sunday afternoon.

Since Draco was on the team now too, the blond never stopped bragging about it. Harry had to admit he had talent of course, and the brooms his father had bought for the team turned out to be a real help too. Harry had never seen their team fly so fast before.

From time to time, Harry also visited Myrtle’s toilet and he talked to the sad ghost. From her, he found out that Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost was holding a Death Party in the dungeons with Halloween. Harry wasn’t planning on going and missing the opportunity to stuff his face with delicious sweets though. He knew he would be found in the Great Hall from the beginning to end of the feast and eat his entire weight in pure sugar. He really hoped that this time, he could actually do that without being interrupted by an insane teacher letting a troll into the castle.

The day before Halloween, they were all in Potions. Harry was having fun mixing ingredients and when Snape wasn’t looking, levitating them over to add to Snape’s own concoction. Most of the Slytherins had already caught on to what he was doing and were silently snickering while the Gryffindors were mostly just staring at them confused. Except Hermione of course, who was glaring at Harry in displeasure.

“Class dismissed!” Snape called out at the end of class.  
“Everyone, out!”

The Slytherins and Gryffindors all rushed out the door, but Harry decided to stay behind. Snape was glaring at his own cauldron, as if trying to figure out what had gone wrong with it before turning to aim his glare at Harry.

“Why are you still here, Quinzel?” he asked annoyed.

“I was just wondering if I could borrow your cloak tomorrow,” Harry replied shrugging.

Snape’s brows rose in confusion at this question, making Harry grin amused.

“My cloak?” the Professor asked.

“Yeah! I want to go as Dracula!”

All confusion was gone in an instant and replaced by anger.

“Ten points from Slytherin, Quinzel,” he hissed.  
“And I suppose that it was you who messed with my potion too?”

Harry just grinned wider at the accusation and cocked his head.

“You look scary when you’re angry, Professor,” he giggled playfully.  
“You know what. I changed my mind. Can I have a strand of your hair? That way I can go as you.”

“Detention, Quinzel,” Snape gritted.  
“Tomorrow you’ll be cleaning cauldrons all day. Now get out!”

“Fine! Party pooper!” Harry huffed before storming out.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was back in the dungeons after lunch the next day, just as he had been told. Snape was already waiting for him there and glared distastefully as Harry entered the classroom.

“What are you wearing?” he asked annoyed.

Harry grinned and gave a twirl before standing tall and puffing out his chest.

“I’m the Batman,” he said in a deep voice.

Snape rolled his eyes in annoyance and pointed at the dirty cauldrons behind him.

“You can start there,” he said.  
“And no magic, Quinzel.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry muttered sighing.  
“I know the drill teach. It’s not my first detention.”

“Unfortunately not,” Snape drawled.

.              .              .               .              .

It was already past dinner when Harry was finally released from captivity and he took off out of that damned dungeon as fast as he could go – which was pretty fast. He wanted to get to the Great Hall as soon as possible. Maybe dessert wasn’t finished yet and he could get some pudding or something. Or maybe he should go to the kitchens and bully some house elves into getting him a giant Halloween cake!

**_*… Rip… Tear… Kill…*_ **

It was the same cold, murderous voice he had heard in Lockhart’s office. Harry stumbled a bit in shock and his eyes widened. That… It couldn’t be… Right? No way the Basilisk could be out without anyone freeing it.

**_*… So Hungry… For so long…*_ **

The voice was growing fainter. Harry was sure it was moving away. A mixture of fear and excitement gripped him as he stared at the dark ceiling. It was moving upward, through the pipes probably, like Joker said the Basilisk got around the school. Grinning in excitement, he began to run, up the stairs, into the entrance hall. It was no good hoping to hear anything here, the babble of talk from the Halloween feast was echoing out of the Great Hall. Harry sprinted up the marble staircase to the first floor and paused again, straining his ears in hope to hear him again. Distantly, from the floor above, and growing fainter, he heard the voice.

**_*… I smell blood… I SMELL BLOOD!*_ **

It was going to kill, Harry realized grinning. He ran up the next flight of steps three at a time, trying to listen over his own pounding footsteps. He hurled himself through the second floor corridors, eyes wide and panting in his excitement until he eventually stopped in the last deserted corridor.

Something was shining on the wall ahead. He approached slowly, squinting through the darkness. Foot-high words had been painted on the wall between two windows, shimmering in the light cast by the flaming torches. 

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED.  
ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE.

“Someone actually fucking opened it,” Harry marveled, feeling a bit jealous that it hadn’t been him.

He looked around himself a bit more. He saw he was right in front of the door of Myrtle’s toilets and there was a large puddle of water on the floor in front of the written text – which, if he was honest, was way too cliché for his tastes.

And then there was the thing that hung next to the text, which on closer inspection turned out to be a cat. Mrs. Norris, the caretaker’s cat, was hanging by her tail from the torch bracket. She was stiff as a board, her eyes wide and staring. For a moment, Harry wondered if she was dead or petrified, but eventually decided it didn’t matter. Both would be funny.

“Huh… Better get out of here before anyone sees me…” Harry muttered to himself.

But it was too late. A rumble, as though of distant thunder, told him that the feast had just ended. From either end of the corridor where they stood came the sound of hundreds of feet climbing the stairs, and the loud, happy talk of well-fed people. The next moment, students were crashing into the passage from both ends.

The chatter, the bustle, the noise died suddenly as the people in front spotted the hanging cat. Harry stood alone, in the middle of the corridor, as silence fell among the mass of students pressing forward to see the grisly sight.

“Enemies of the Heir, beware! You’ll be next, Mudbloods!”

The voice belonged to Draco, who stood flanked by his two baby trolls and was leering evilly at both Hermione and Colin. Harry’s lips twitched, but he was able to keep a smile from forming. Instead, he made his expression look panicked, as if he was terrified.

“What’s going on here? What’s going on?”

Argus Filch came shouldering his way through the crowd. Then he saw Mrs. Norris and fell back, clutching his face in horror.

“My cat! My cat! What’s happened to Mrs. Norris?” he shrieked.

His yellowy, bloodshot eyes fell on Harry and they widened in rage.

“You!” he screeched.  
“You! You’ve murdered my cat! You’ve killed her! I’ll kill you! I’ll-”

_“Argus!”_

Dumbledore had arrived on the scene, followed by a number of other teachers. In seconds, he had swept past Harry and detached Mrs. Norris from the torch bracket.

“Come with me, Argus,” he said to Filch.  
“You, too, Mr. Quinzel.”

Lockhart stepped forward eagerly.

“My office is nearest, Headmaster. It’s just upstairs. Please feel free…”

“Thank you, Gilderoy,” Dumbledore said.

The silent crowd parted to let them pass. Lockhart, looking excited and important, hurried after Dumbledore and so did Professors McGonagall and Snape. As they entered Lockhart’s darkened office there was a flurry of movement across the walls. Harry saw several of the Lockhart’s in the pictures dodging out of sight, their hair in rollers. The real Lockhart lit the candles on his desk and stood back. Dumbledore laid Mrs. Norris on the polished surface and began to examine her.

Harry watched bored as the old man prodded at the immobile cat. He really hoped the damn thing was dead. She caused way too many issues for a sneaking student like himself.

“It was definitely a curse that killed her. Probably the Transmogrifian Torture. I’ve seen it used many times, so unlucky I wasn’t there, I know the very counter curse that would have saved her…”

Harry rolled his eyes in exasperation. He knew the Transmogrifian Torture Curse – is dad had taught him when he was nine – and petrification looked nothing like it. This was way more like the Killing Curse than that. The Transmogrifian Torture left marks, since it literally set your insides on fire. Her face at least would have been much more contorted in agony.

“… I remember something very similar happening in Ouagadogou,” Lockhart continued, even though no one was listening.  
“A series of attacks, the full story’s in my autobiography, I was able to provide the townsfolk with various amulets, which cleared the matter up at once…”

The photographs of Lockhart on the walls were all nodding in agreement as he talked. One of them had forgotten to remove his hair net. At last Dumbledore straightened up.

“She’s not dead, Argus,” he said softly.

Lockhart stopped abruptly in the middle of counting the number of murders he had prevented. While Harry stopped whispering under his breath to listen to what the adults would believe had happened.

“Not dead?” Filch choked out, looking through his fingers at Mrs. Norris.  
“But why’s she all-all stiff and frozen?”

“She has been Petrified,” Dumbledore replied.

“Ah! I thought so!” Lockhart exclaimed.

“But how, I cannot say…”

“Ask him!” shrieked Filch, turning his blotched and tearstained face to Harry.

“No second year could have done this,” Dumbledore said firmly.  
“It would take Dark Magic of the most advanced-”

Or a giant snake with killing eyes, Harry thought gleefully, though he stayed completely passive outwardly and nodded in agreement. He was only a second year who grew up in a kind, loving family in the States. There was no way he knew any advanced Dark Magic or about the Chamber of Secrets, let alone where it was and how to get in.

“Headmaster, if I may,” Snape spoke up, looking very reluctant to do so.  
“Mr. Quinzel had been with me cleaning cauldrons until shortly before the incident.”

“Yeah! And I was just on my way to see Hermione, because I hadn’t talked to her in a while,” Harry said nodded, blinking up innocently at the adults.

“Why wouldn’t you join the feast?” McGonagall asked confused.

“I figured there wouldn’t be much left,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“Besides, I know where the kitchens are, so I could go there if I got hungry…”

“Rubbish! He did it! I know he did!” Filch screeched.

Dumbledore was giving Harry a searching look. His twinkling light-blue gaze made Harry feel as though he were being X-rayed.

“Innocent until proven guilty, Argus,” he said firmly.

“My cat has been Petrified!” Filch shrieked, his eyes popping.  
“I want to see some punishment!”

“We will be able to cure her, Argus,” Dumbledore said patiently.  
“Professor Sprout recently managed to procure some Mandrakes. As soon as they have reached their full size, I will have a potion made that will revive Mrs. Norris.”

“I’ll make it,” Lockhart butted in eagerly.  
“I must have done it a hundred times. I could whip up a Mandrake Restorative Draught in my sleep-”

“Excuse me,” said Snape icily.  
“But I believe I am the Potions master at this school.”

There was a very awkward pause.

“You may go,” Dumbledore said to Harry.

Harry nodded mutely and left but not before finishing his spell with a quick flick of his wand out of the sight of the teachers. He still went to the kitchens, like he had planned to before going back to the dungeons with some treacle tarts. Since it was already past midnight when he finally entered the common room, it was completely desolated.

Humming cheerfully under his breath, Harry walked up the stairs to his dorm and entered. Everyone there was still wide away and they were staring expectantly at Harry, but the bright haired boy ignored them all and started getting undressed. Malinda slithered out from underneath his sheets and reared up.

 ** _*Welcome back, Hatchling,*_** she hissed.

Harry smiled and petted her scaly head before looking over to the others.

“Ask,” he told them.

“Did you do it?” Draco blurted out immediately before blushing.  
“Y-you know… Open the Chamber of Secrets…”

Harry hummed and picked up Malinda, wrapping her around his shoulders with an amused smirk.

“I wonder… I could be,” he replied shrugging.

“That’s even less useful than you usually are,” Draco sighed resigned.

Harry just chuckled and turned away from his friend.

“Good night~”

.              .              .               .              .

The next morning, loud banshee wails could be heard coming from Lockhart’s office before the man himself came running out in tears, screaming in horror with his hair on fire. His face was flashing all the colors of the rainbow and large neon letters spelling the words ‘FAKE’ and ‘FRAUD’ chased after him. Shortly after reaching the Great Hall, the man just crumbled up and fainted.

“For once, I completely agree with your prank,” Draco said calmly, sipping his tea.

Harry smirked before putting up an innocent face.

“Why would you think it was me?” he asked innocently.

Blaise snorted in his orange juice while both Daphne and Pansy rolled their eyes. Theo, who was getting along well with Daphne especially smiled lightly. He’d gotten more used to Harry in the past month. Harry gave a soft chuckle and got up.

“I’ll see you guys later in the common room,” he muttered.

As he walked away, he came across Fred and George, who both high-fived him with an exclamation of “All Hail the King!” Life was good.

.              .              .               .              .

For a few days, the school could talk of little else but Lockhart’s freak-out and the attack on Mrs. Norris. Filch kept it fresh in everyone’s minds by pacing the spot where she had been attacked, as though he thought the attacker might come back. Harry had seen him scrubbing the message on the wall with Mrs. Skower’s All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover, but to no effect. The words still gleamed as brightly as ever on the stone. When Filch wasn’t guarding the scene of the crime, he was skulking red-eyed through the corridors, lunging out at unsuspecting students and trying to put them in detention for things like “breathing loudly” and “looking happy.”

Harry did his best to avoid the man when he could, but that didn’t stop him and the Weasley twins from charming several of the paintings to meow whenever Filch passed them. The man was going mad and a lot of innocent students got in detention because of it. Not that Harry or the twins escaped scathe free, unfortunately. Filch could always find _something_ to sick them with when he saw them.

Hermione, meanwhile didn’t leave the library at all anymore, her nose always buried in the books. Harry found it really boring, so he let her be and instead started spending more time with Draco and Blaise. The two, along with Theo, Pansy and Daphne, stuck close to him almost all the time. Not just because he was such an amazing friend, but by being on his side they didn’t end up being pranked all the time like he did with their other classmates.

One Wednesday, Harry had been held back in Potions, where Snape had made him stay behind to scrape tubeworms off the desks. After a hurried lunch, he went upstairs to meet Hermione in the library, and saw Justin Finch-Fletchley, a Hufflepuff muggleborn boy in his year, coming toward him. Harry had just opened his mouth to say hello when Justin caught sight of him, turned abruptly, and sped off in the opposite direction.

Shrugging it off, he walked to the library, where Hermione was sitting in the far back. She was ruffling through large stacks of books with a furious expression, but eventually seemed to give up and plopped down in the chair next to Harry.

“ _All_ the copies of _Hogwarts, A History_ have been taken out!” she exclaimed.  
“And there’s a two-week waiting list. I _wish_ I hadn’t left my copy at home, but I couldn’t fit it in my trunk with all the Lockhart books.”

“Why do you want it?” Harry asked in a bored tone.

He was really growing to hate the damn library.

“The same reason everyone else wants it,” Hermione replied.  
“To read up on the legend of the Chamber of Secrets.”

Harry nodded in understanding.

“I think I read about it in there too, but I can’t remember what they said…” he mumbled.

“Neither do I!” Hermione nearly shouted in frustration.

Harry was almost happy when the bell rang to send them back to classes. He said goodbye to Hermione, who had History of Magic now and went back to the dungeons. The Slytherin 2nd years had a free period now, so he wanted to try and read some more about Necromancy in one of his own books. Charmed to look like a muggle fiction book, of course.

He only got about half a chapter further before the end of classes was announced and he and the other Slytherins left for the Great Hall for dinner. As they exited the dungeons, they were immediately pulled in the large crowd of students trying to hurry in the same direction as they did. Unfortunately for Harry, his number one fan was in that same crowd.

“Hiya, Harry!”

“Hey, Colin,” Harry greeted blandly.

“Harry! Harry! A boy in my class has been saying you’re-”

But Colin was so small he couldn’t fight against the tide of people bearing him toward the Great Hall. They heard him squeak, “See you, Harry!” and he was gone.

“Filthy little mudblood,” Draco muttered disgusted.

“What’s a boy in his class saying about you?” Pansy wondered.

“That I’m Slytherin’s heir, I guess,” Harry muttered in reply.

“That’s ridiculous,” Blaise snorted.  
“Everyone knows the Potters were a _Light_ family with absolutely no ties to Slytherin.”

“Could be his mudblood mother,” Draco said thoughtfully.  
“I mean, she can come from a squib line or something. And it would explain Quinn’s-…”

Draco stopped talking and paled, his eyes widening in horror as he realized he almost had let Harry’s secret slip. Both Pansy and Blaise paled too and took a step away from Draco and Harry while Daphne and Theo scowled.

“Quinn’s what?” Theo asked curiously.

“Yeah! Quinn’s what?” Harry butted in teasingly.  
“My amazing charm, my beautiful personality? **_My ability to speak Parseltongue?_** ”

This had the studious boy and the blond girl tense in shock and they stared at Harry with wide eyes.

“Are-are you playing with us again, Quinn?” Daphne asked suspiciously.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Harry laughed.  
“Why don’t you ask Malinda- Oh, wait! You can’t!”

Laughing, he walked into the Great Hall, the other five trailing behind him slowly, unsure of what to think at the moment. Like usual, Blaise and Draco took their seats on either of Harry’s side while the girls and Theo sat across from them.

“It’s true, you know,” Blaise told the others.  
“We heard him do it when we were visiting him.”

“Heard him do what?” Tracy Davis asked curiously as she sat down next to Pansy.

Millicent Bulstrode and Haven Runcorn, who had seated themselves on Daphne’s left both looked curious as well. Most the entire Slytherin House stopped talking when their famous trouble maker grinned darkly.

“Why don’t I show all of you when we get back to the common room?” he suggested with a chuckle.  
“I’ll give a little private show! **_Provided nothing will leave Slytherin House._** House Unity and all that, right!”

.              .              .               .              .

Less than an hour later, the whole Slytherin House, some 150 students, were all sitting together in the common room, all eyes staring at Harry. Some of them seemed expectant or even hopeful, while most were more skeptic and apprehensive. Harry just grinned knowingly.

 ** _*Come to me, your Heir commands it!*_** he hissed.

Many gasps could be heard from his peers, and several even screamed when suddenly, the hundreds of ornate snakes all around the room started to move and gather around Harry, hissing and writhing. From the door leading to the boy dorms, Malinda came slithering over as well.

 ** _*Master,*_** she hissed awed.

Harry smiled fondly at her and leaned down to allow her to slide up his arm and lay over his shoulders.

 ** _*Master to all but you,*_** Harry hissed in reply. ** _  
*You are my sister and I am your Hatchling.*_**

He looked back towards his gaping peers and smirked smugly.

“I believe,” he started calmly.  
“That you are all looking at the new King of Slytherin House.”

As on cue, several of the older students fell to their knees. More and more of them followed their example and before long, everyone was kneeling before Harry, who grinned darkly. This was how it should be from now on. Slytherin House was his.

And soon, Hogwarts would be too.

 


	43. Best Beater Ever

The entire House of Slytherin had changed their opinion of him after that day. Those who had looked at him with sneers and distaste for being a troublemaker or a half-blood were now groveling before his very feet, scattering like cockroaches to prove how eager they followed his every command. He was now the unofficial King of Slytherin, the Heir and their Lord. No one doubted him.

While this was a lot of fun, Harry had ordered them all to treat him normally when there were _outsiders_ around. He had wondered if he would need to threaten them to keep silent, but it seemed to be unnecessary. Slytherin was a very independent house that did not trust anyone but their own. They respected pureblood traditions and followed the unwritten House Rules like it was a religion. Rule number one was that anything that happened in their House would never leave the safety of the common room. Rule number two was his favorite one though: the King or Queen’s word is law.

The only ones who really noticed anything was different were the Weasley twins, but they didn’t seem all that bothered with it or suspicious for that matter. They just grinned widely when a 5th year boy accidentally bowed to Harry after handing him a book in the library. After that, they started to do the same, calling Harry “My Lord” or “The Heir” because they also knew that more than half the school seemed to believe Harry was the Heir of Slytherin and it wasn’t much of a stretch that it was the same reason why whole Slytherin House was suddenly so subservient to Harry.

.              .              .               .              .

Eventually, the day of the first Quidditch game had come. Slytherin against Gryffindor. Harry woke up early, like he usually did and woke up Draco with the excuse that he should do some morning practice before the big game too.

“You want to win, don’t you?” he had asked teasingly.

“Of course I want to win!” Draco huffed as he got dressed.

The two went jogging around the Black Lake and this time, Draco had less trouble keeping up with Harry. The Quidditch practice and maybe some extra training during the summer had done him some good at least. It definitely made Harry smile. Running was much more fun when he wasn’t alone to do it.

By 11 o’clock, the entire school had made their way over to the bleachers and the Slytherin team were getting ready in their changing room. Harry grinned and clapped Draco on his shoulder.

“Nervous?” he asked grinning.

“Of course not!” the blond yelped, though Harry could see he was lying.

“I see… You must be shaking from excitement,” Harry nodded with a serious expression.

Draco turned red as the rest of the team laughed and glared at Harry. Flint stepped up.

“Alright! We have better brooms, and he have better players!” he announced.  
“Don’t muck it up and we’ll win this one for sure! Quinn! You’re in charge of making sure Draco gets a chance to the Snitch and that Hopkins _doesn’t_.”

“Sir, yes sir!” Harry replied, saluting his Captain.

As they walked out onto the field, a roar of noise greeted them. Mainly booing and hissing, because Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were anxious to see Slytherin beaten, but the Slytherins in the crowd made their cheers heard, too. Madam Hooch, asked Flint and Wood to shake hands, which they did, giving each other threatening stares and gripping harder than was necessary.

“Yaoi~” Harry sang as he looked at the duo, making his teammates look weirdly at him.

“On my whistle,” Madam Hooch called out.  
“Three… two… one…”

With a roar from the crowd to speed them upward, the fourteen players rose toward the leaden sky. Harry stayed close to Draco for a little bit before flying out more to participate in the game. The Snitch hadn’t been spotted yet, and Harry knew the twins wouldn’t go for Draco yet until it was.

He’d barely started flying towards the Chasers when a Bludger came soaring his way. He avoided it so narrowly that he felt it ruffle his hair as it passed.

“Close one, Quinn!” Derrick called, streaking past him with his club in his hand, ready to knock the Bludger back toward a Gryffindor.

The Bludger went soaring towards Angelina Johnson, but changed direction in midair and shot straight for Harry again. This time, Harry was able to hit it himself and aimed it at Hopkins. Once again, the Bludger swerved like a boomerang and shot at Harry’s head.

Harry put on a burst of speed and zoomed toward the other end of the field. He could hear the Bludger whistling along behind him. What was going on? Bludgers never concentrated on one player like this; it was their job to try and unseat as many people as possible…

He turned around suddenly and hit the Bludger with all his might, this time aimed at Wood, but it still didn’t work. The damn thing turned around again and pelted after him once more and Harry was forced to fly off at full speed. To make it even worse: it had started to rain.

He didn’t have a clue what was going on in the rest of the game until he heard Lee Jordan, who was commentating again, say, “Slytherin lead, sixty points to zero-” At least his team was in the lead, he thought bitterly. Though he had really hoped to do more than being chased around by a crazy Bludger.

“Do we need to call a time-out?” Flint called out, flying over to Harry.

“No need!” Harry grunted, trying to hit the Bludger back towards Hopkins.  
“I’ll figure something out! Just win the fucking game already or something!”

Flint nodded and went back towards the Slytherin goal, where Angelina Johnson was about to score and stopped her just in time. the crowd was booing again, but Harry paid it no mind as he had to dive away when the Bludger almost got him again.

It started to rain even harder now, much to Harry’s annoyance. He gripped his bat harder and glared at the approaching Bludger with pure hate. Nearby, Draco had finally caught wind of the Snitch and he and Hopkins were chasing it. Harry grinned when he thought of something and dove away again to go after the two Seekers. If he could get the damn Bludger to accidentally hit Hopkins…

As he was close enough, he pulled up and the Bludger zoomed past underneath him, missing Hopkins by a hair. It still forced the 3rd year to slow down and turn away, which gave Draco a better shot at getting the Snitch. Unfortunately, that was counted outside of the other Bludger, which had been swung in Draco’s direction by Fred or George Weasley, Harry had no idea which.

Harry’s eyes widened when he saw the thing was going for Draco’s head and he acted fast. Ignoring the rogue Bludger, he swung hard and hit the one going for Draco away right before he could get to the blond. That was all the chance the rogue one needed to get him.

The Bludger had hit him at last, smashed into his elbow, and Harry felt his arm break. Dimly, dazed by the searing pain in his arm, he slid sideways on his rain-drenched broom, one knee still crooked over it, his right arm dangling useless at his side. The Bludger came pelting back for a second attack, this time aiming at his face. Harry swerved out of the way, one idea firmly lodged in his numb brain: _get Hopkins out of the game._

Through a haze of rain and pain he dived for the shimmering, shocked face below him. He gripped his bat with his left hand and gritted teeth. Hopkins eyes widened when he saw Harry approach, but soon narrowed them in determination. Draco and the Snitch were behind Harry, so he started flying towards him to with the intention to fly past. Harry swung… and hit Hopkins in the head.

There was a lot of shouting and screaming going on around them, but Harry barely heard them as he too pelted towards the ground. With a splattering thud he hit the mud and rolled off his broom. His arm was hanging at a very strange angle. Riddled with pain, he heard, as though from a distance, a good deal of whistling and shouting. For a moment, he was able to focus enough to see Draco landing next to him with something gold in his hand and he grinned.

“Aha,” he said faintly.  
“We’ve won.”

The rest of his team came to stand around him too and Lockhart elbowed his way through the crowd. The man knelt next to Harry, his brightly grinning face looming over him and Harry blanched, his stomach knotting at the realization that that idiot was about to _do_ something.

“Oh, no, not you,” he moaned.

“Doesn’t know what he’s saying,” Lockhart told the anxious crowd of Slytherins pressing around them.  
“Not to worry, Harry. I’m about to fix your arm.”

“No!” Harry shouted desperately.  
“Get me Madam Pomfrey! Hagrid! Fucking Colin Creevey! _Someone_ capable!”

He tried to sit up, but Lockhart pushed him back down. He was still smiling brightly at the heavily disturbed kid. There was absolutely nothing Harry wanted less than that man’s hands on him.

“Lie back, Harry,” Lockhart said soothingly.  
“It’s a simple charm I’ve used countless times-”

“Why can’t I just go to the hospital wing?” Harry asked through clenched teeth.

“He really should, Professor,” a muddy Flint said frowning.

“Stand back,” Lockhart said, who was rolling up his jade-green sleeves.

“No. Don’t-” Harry tried desperately, but it was too late already.

A strange and unpleasant sensation started at Harry’s shoulder and spread all the way down to his fingertips. It felt as though his arm was being deflated. He didn’t dare look at what was happening. He had shut his eyes, his face turned away from his arm, but his worst fears were realized as the people above him gasped. His arm didn’t hurt anymore, nor did it feel remotely like an arm.

“Ah,” Lockhart muttered weakly.  
“Yes. Well, that can sometimes happen. But the point is, the bones are no longer broken. That’s the thing to bear in mind. So, Harry, just toddle up to the hospital wing — ah, Mr. Zabini, Miss Parkinson, would you escort him? And Madam Pomfrey will be able to… er… tidy you up a bit.”

As Harry got to his feet, he felt strangely lopsided. Taking a deep breath he looked down at his right side. When he saw his arm, it was Lockhart’s great luck that Harry had no bones left in his hand to strangle him with, because he would have done exactly that if he had been capable. Lockhart hadn’t mended Harry’s bones. He had removed them.

“I hope they won’t take away our win for that trick you did,” Blaise muttered as they walked towards the hospital room.

“Well, I was really dozed from the agony of breaking my arm,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“I really thought he was a Bludger! You can’t blame me for freaking out at a moment like that.”

“You’ll have to bring that _very_ convincing,” Pansy muttered bitterly.  
“Those are Dumbledore’s precious Gryffindors you messed with.”

“And I’m his precious Boy-Who-Lived!” Harry laughed.

.              .              .               .              .

Skele-grow was the most disgusting thing Harry had ever had to drink by a long shot. Blaise and Pansy had left shortly after when Dumbledore and Snape had shown up to ask him about what happened exactly. Harry had played his part perfectly, being shaken and horrified by himself that he had hit that poor boy and he acted very relieved to hear he had only minor injuries. Dumbledore had nodded, looking sad and resigned as he left while Snape glared at him.

Harry’s notebook lay on his lap as he stared at it. His dad would want to know what happened, but that was difficult with only one working arm… With a scowl, Harry looked down at his boneless arm and sighed. Were they ever going to get a _competent_ Defense teacher? Somehow he doubted it.

“Quinn.”

He looked up and smiled as he saw Draco walk up to him, a deep scowl on his face. He gave a small half-wave and sat up some more as he watched Draco approach and sit down on the single chair next to his bed.

“You did some dangerous things out there,” Draco scolded.  
“What if that Bludger hit your head?! You could have died!”

“And if I didn’t do it, the other Bludger would have smashed in _your_ head,” Harry deadpanned.  
“Instead of telling me off, shouldn’t you be thanking me or something? Try saying it. Just once.”

Draco’s scowl deepened and he looked down at his feet as he started blushing a bit.

“Thank you, Harry,” he mumbled.  
“You pretty much saved my life out there.”

Harry grinned and leaned over, patting Draco’s cheek with his good arm.

“There’s a good boy,” he mocked smug.

“It shouldn’t have been necessary though,” Draco said, swatting the hand away, causing Harry to laugh softly.  
“That Bludger had gone wild! It must have been cursed or something! That shouldn’t have happened, it shouldn’t be possible.”

“Tell me about it,” Harry groaned.  
“Stupid Dobby. Trying to-”

“Did you just say ‘Dobby’?!” Draco interrupted wide eyed.

Harry frowned confused and nodded. His confusion only grew when he saw the look of pure fury grow on Draco’s face and he waited curiously until the blonde would explain what was wrong. He didn’t really need an explanation when Draco sudden shouted on top of his lungs.

“DOBBY!”

Harry scrambled for his wand and quickly cast a privacy charm on them, just as the wrinkly little elf popped into existence next to the bed. The creature was paler than usual and was shivering all over as it bowed low for Draco. Harry’s eyes widened and he burst out laughing.

“You’re the _Malfoys’_ elf?!” he asked between bouts of giggles.  
“You warn me and try to kill me while I’m best friends with your fucking _master_?!”

With that, Harry suddenly sobered up so fast it nearly gave Draco a whiplash and he jumped up, grabbing the blonde by his tie and pulling him face to face, glaring coldly at him.

“I hope for you that elf is fucking delusional, because if I find out you try to off me, I’ll test out every single punishment it had to suffer in your house on you,” Harry hissed threateningly.  
“We’ll start off with ironing every single one of your fingers nice and black.”

Draco paled drastically and his shook his head in frantic motions.

“I don’t! I swear!” he cried out in terror.

“How about your dad?” Harry asked softly.  
“That elf has to have it from somewhere, right? Does he want me dead?”

“H-he’s not happy you’re around! Says you’ll be a threat to the ‘New Order’ or something!” Draco answered hurriedly.  
“But I don’t think he wants you dead! I told him we could trust you! I said you weren’t the Light Hero everyone thinks!”

Harry let go of his and lean back in his cushions, nodding satisfied.

“Good, but if I find that you lied to me, I’ll kill you,” he said calmly.  
“Now that that’s taken care off, I want you to do two things for me.”

“Which are?” Draco asked warily, re-tightening his tie.

“The first is keeping Dobby’s involvement from your dad,” Harry started.

Dobby gave a loud sigh of relief and clambered on the bed, bowing to Harry over and over again once he was on top of the boy’s legs.

“Thank yous mister Harry Potter, sir!” the elf squeaked.

Harry scowled at him before turning back to face Draco.

“Instead, you punish him, and teach him not to call me by that damned name,” he said coldly.  
“I just don’t want to tip off your dad in case he really does want me dead. I want the element of surprise.”

Dobby gave a fearful sob at that and looked over to Draco, who smirked evilly and nodded at Harry in agreement. The poor, terrified elf popped away immediately, probably going to hide somewhere in hopes of escaping his young master’s wrath.

“I can do that,” the blonde said gleefully.

“Good,” Harry said nodding.

“Now the second thing I want you to do is this:”

He handed Draco his notebook and pointed at the ballpoint pen laying on his nightstand.

“Write my dad,” Harry explained, seeing Draco’s confused expression.  
“I promised to rapport anything unusual to him, but I can’t write without bones, so I need you to do it.”

Draco nodded and picked up the pen, looking at it with a deep frown. Harry chuckled and leaned over. His good hand enveloped Draco’s and he led the blonde’s thumb to the clicker before pressing down. Draco’s eyes widened when he saw the tip pop out and he looked at it in wonder.

“Don’t poke your eye,” Harry chuckled, while his fingers itched to do exactly that.  
“It works just like a quill, only the ink is already inside the pen, so all you have to do is write.”

“Really? That’s really odd…” Draco mumbled before he pressed the pen on the paper and started scribbling.

_[Harry is in the hospital wing, having all his bones of his arm vanished after a Bludger broke them.]_

Not long after he finished, the book started glowing, and Draco’s eyes widened again as new words appeared under the ones he wrote. Harry held out his hand and looked at Draco expectantly. Draco handed the book back over obediently, still trembling a little after the threats Harry had made.

_[First of: What fucking teacher is stupid enough to fucking vanish a kid’s bones instead of mending them.]  
[Second of: Who the fuck are you and why do you have my kid’s notebook?]_

Harry chuckled and gave the book back to Draco.

“Introduce yourself. And then tell him about Dobby.”

_[My name is Draco Malfoy. I’m a friend of Harry. He got attacked by the Bludger because my disobedient elf possessed it.]_

He barely stopped writing or the notebook started glowing a bright gold. The cover started heating up, making Draco yelp and he tried to drop the book, but found he couldn’t. A second later, the whole world started to spin and it was as if something pulled at Draco’s navel.

When he opened his eyes again, he sat in an old, wooden chair in what looked to be a warehouse of some sort. In front of him was a worn iron desk with rusting legs and behind it sat a man. Draco’s eyes widened in recognition. Though his skin was paper white, and his hair a bright, poisonous green, a wide, red Glasgow Grin painted on his lips and cheeks, Draco still recognized him as Harry’s dad.

“Wh-what’s going on?” he asked shakily.

The man stared hard at him and narrowed his eyes.

“Your elf broke my kid’s arm?” the man asked dangerously.

Draco swallowed fearfully and shrunk into himself a bit, grasping Harry’s notebook tightly.

“H-he did it out of his own accord! Qui-Harry said he tried to stop him from going to school because… someone… wants him dead…”

“Yeah. I was there the first time the elf showed up in his room,” the man said, waving his hand dismissively.  
“I remember distinctly he said that his _master_ was the one wanting my kid dead, and you _just_ told me you’re the master…”

“My father!” Draco squeaked fearfully.  
“I’m Harry’s friend! I’d never do anything to hurt him! He saved me in the game today!”

The man weaved his fingers together and leaned back in his chair, raising a brow in curiosity.

“How about you start from the beginning?” he suggested.

Draco blushed and nodded in agreement.

“W-well… Dobby’s always been a weird elf, sir… He… Ever since he heard about the story of how Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord, he’s been-…”

“Worshipping the ground the kid walks on?” the man chuckled.  
“So, how much truth is there in your daddy wanting to kill Harry?”

“I-I don’t know, sir…” Draco whispered.  
“To be honest… I heard my father talk with Lord Nott about something – to rid the school of mudbloods, to… teach the Weasleys a lesson and end Dumbledore’s career – but he always complains about them, so I didn’t think he’d actually _do_ anything…”

“Malfoys have always been especially good at talking shit,” the man mused chuckling.  
“Call the elf, Draco. I’m really fucking pissed at him and I needed someone to beat up anyway. He nearly killed my son, so it’s only fair I get to punish him, right?”

Draco nodded meekly.

“Dobby!” he called.

A loud pop could be heard and the little elf appeared, bowing to Draco while looking fearfully in the man’s direction. The man grinned widely and snapped his fingers, making Dobby squeal in pain and drop to his knees.

“You’ll get him back in a week, completely intact… that is, as long as my kid’s still intact too,” the man told Draco.  
“So let’s make a deal! You keep my kid alive and out of trouble, and I won’t fly over to the UK to show those simpleminded wizard morons that there are still worse people out there than Voldemort.”

Draco’s eyes widened at the words and he shivered in fear.

“What do you want me to do?” Draco asked quietly.

“The same thing Gabe is doing when he’s here, and what your granddaddy did for me and Tommy,” the man shrugged.  
“Harry has the same issue I have. We’re not exactly… covert… so we need someone for us to cover up our… **_Real face_**. A Publicity Agent of sorts.”

Draco scowled confused, before his eyes widened in shock and he paled.

“T-Tom?” he asked shakily.

The green haired man started laughing all of a sudden and kicked his chair back. To Draco’s surprise, the scary, grown man even yelled ‘WHEEE’ when he spun the spinning chair.

“You made the connection!” he exclaimed happily.  
“What gave it away? You recognize my face? Heard the name in context with your grandpa before? **_Or does the notebook bring back memories?_** ”

“How do you know about that?!” Draco gasped.

“Because I was there when Tommy handed that diary of his to Abraxas for safekeeping,” the man grinned.  
“So what did you do? Just steal it one day? You started writing in it and were excited when it answered you? I bet you got obsessed with it, trusted all your secrets to it, considered it your best friend. Soon, you couldn’t go without it anymore. You always had it with you while slowly, your health deteriorated. You were weak and sickly and snapped at everyone coming near until granddaddy took the book away.”

“… My dad…” Draco whispered blushing.  
“My dad took the diary away. I took it from grandfather’s study after he passed away.”

The green haired man hummed and grinned at Draco. He held out his hand, white gloved palm turned upwards as he looked Draco in the eye expectantly.

“So, we have a deal, kid? You look out for my boy?” he asked.

Draco nodded and grabbed the hand in a decisive and firm handshake, making the man chuckle again.

“Great! And call me Joker, kiddo! That’s what I go by around here.”

“Alright, Mr. Joker,” Draco replied.

“Pleasure doing business with you!” the Joker laughed.

He let go of Draco’s hand and leaned back in his chair. With a wide grin on his face, he waved at Draco just as the notebook still in the blonde’s arms, started glowing again. The next second, Draco was back in the Hospital Wing, sitting next to Harry’s bed while the dual colored haired boy watched him expectantly.

“Thank Clowns!” the odd boy exclaimed relieved.  
“I was trying to think up a good alibi in case you weren’t coming back!”

“Thanks for your trust in me, Quinn,” Draco grumbled.

Harry just grinned wider and sat up straight, his eyes twinkling with something that put Draco on edge. The blonde shuffled a bit away and glared in suspicion.

“What?” he asked annoyed.

“So… on a scale from baby spiders to Zombie/Vampire hybrids with axes. How much did my dad scare you?” Harry asked.

Draco opened his mouth to complain about how Harry didn’t make any sense, but sighed when he thought better of it. After a whole year near the strange boy, Draco had learned never to question Harry’s weirdness if he wanted to keep his own sanity.

“How about an insane Murder Clown level?” he muttered reluctantly.

 


	44. Christmas Break

The following month was somewhat interesting. Colin Creevey had been petrified the same night Harry had been spending in the hospital to grow his arm bones back. Apparently, he had been trying to sneak into the hospital wing with grapes for Harry but had happened across the Basilisk. The only reason he wasn’t dead was because he had been looking at the thing through his camera instead of straight in the eyes. Harry wasn’t sure whether to be glad or disappointed by that though…

It also seemed that Lockhart had decided to start a Dueling Club, but Harry refused to participate, saying that he was perfectly fine without that idiot’s guiding. Because of that, no Slytherin joined at all, as they all wanted to agree with their new ‘King’, or were too fearful of possible punishment if they did go. That was ridiculous of course. Harry had no plans on hurting anyone… yet.

To make everything even better, it seemed that Justin Finch-Fletchley, the annoying Hufflepuff that had been avoiding Harry ever since the first message had appeared, was found petrified in some hallway along with Nearly Headless Nick. The whole Slytherin House was ecstatic and some of them came to shake Harry’s hand because most of them were sure he was the one who did it.

Quidditch, it seemed, was a whole different affair. The first practice Harry had when he was back on his broom, he had been messing around a bit. He had charmed the Snitch to act like a Bludger while one of the Bludgers was acting like the Snitch, so now the tiny golden ball was pelting itself violently towards Lucian Bole, much to the 4th year’s annoyance.

“Quinn. From now on you’re playing Chaser,” Flint called out suddenly.

Harry stopped laughing and looked over at the captain with a deep scowl.

“What? Why?” he whined.

“Because you nearly killed Hopkins out there!” the 7th year growled.  
“And it took me some ass-kissing to Snape to keep you on the team altogether!”

Harry crossed his arms and pouted.

“And what if I don’t _want_ to play Chaser?” he asked, glaring at the older teen.

Flint straightened up and glared down at him. it was an impressive sight to see the burly 7th year that angry, even Harry had to admit that. No one dared to go against Harry anymore in Slytherin, but here he was, looking Harry straight in the eye and not even faltering for a second.

“You may be King in the common room,” Flint whispered darkly.  
“But in the pitch, _I’m_ in charge! You’re playing Chaser or not at all.”

Harry sighed and nodded his head.

“Alright, fine. I’ll be a Chaser,” he agreed reluctantly before grinning up.  
“Like you said, you’re the boss here… Captain.”

.              .              .               .              .

The double attack on Justin and Nearly Headless Nick turned what had hitherto been nervousness into real panic. Curiously, it was Nearly Headless Nick’s fate that seemed to worry people most. What could possibly do that to a ghost? people asked each other; what terrible power could harm someone who was already dead? There was almost a stampede to book seats on the Hogwarts Express so that students could go home for Christmas.

“I guess no one wants to stay and risk getting attacked,” Draco said.

“You’d think they wouldn’t worry. I’m going home too!” Harry laughed.

“Does that mean you admit it’s you?” a 7th year girl with the name of Bloom Derrick asked eagerly.

Harry smirked at her, his eyes glinting wickedly.

“I’m not confirming nor denying anything,” he replied.

“If there is an attack while you’re gone, we’ll know it _wasn’t_ you,” the Head Girl named Knight said.

“Well, since I and Crabbe and Goyle will be staying over the holidays, we’ll be the first to know,” Draco said smugly.  
“Of course, the Weasleys are staying too, so that’s a bit of a damper…”

“Be nice to Fred and George,” Harry told him.  
“I like the two. They remind me of me, but more innocent.”

Draco huffed in displeasure and nodded his head, making Harry smile pleased.

Fred and George found the whole thing of Harry being the suspected attacker very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, “Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through…” Harry sometimes wondered if they realized how close to the truth they were.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry shared a compartment with Blaise, Theo, Daphne and Pansy since Draco was staying behind. He kept his notebook on his lap the entire ride, writing in it furiously and laughing every now and then at the replies his dad and mom send him. The others just let them be and softly talked among themselves until they finally arrived at the station. Harry packed his stuff together quickly and left without any words of goodbye to his friends. After making sure he was somewhere secluded with no one paying attention to him, he pulled out his notebook again and wrote his dad.

_[Beam me up, Scotty.]_

The pull of the activated portkey made Harry close his eyes and smile. It felt as if he was dragged through a small tube, pulled off his feet before landing on them again.

“Eeeh!”

Harry was knocked down by the force of his mother tackling him in a bone-crushing bear hug.

“My baby is back!” she squealed.

“Welcome home, kid!” Joker laughed.

Harry looked over at his dad, but blinked in shock when he found another occupant in the room. His grin widened and his eyes started to sparkle in happiness as he rushed forward.

“Gabe!” he shouted happily, jumping in his friend’s arms.

The older boy laughed and wrapped his arms around the smaller teen and squeezed him close.

“Good to see you again too, Harry,” he said grinning.

“It’s great to see you! I have so much to tell about school!” Harry babbled excitedly.  
“Like the giant Basilisk that’s been loose and is petrifying people! Two kids and a cat so far, but I wonder when the first dead person shows up! I’m kind of hoping on Ginny or Percy Weasley, but they’re pureblood, so probably not…”

“I’m sure you can kill them while making it look like the Basilisk,” Gabe chuckled, patting Harry’s head.

“Look at you being a supportive friend!” Joker cackled, walking closer.

He stopped right behind Harry and leaned down. His long arms wrapped possessively around his adopted son’s waist and he laid his chin on the boy’s shoulder while grinning at Gabe. Harry smiled happily and snuggled into his father’s chest, breathing in his scent and allowing himself to drown in the pure _Dark_ aura that always surrounded that Clown Prince of Crime.

“Aren’t you happy you have such a great friend, kid?”

“Yeah,” Harry replied breathlessly.  
“I’m really happy I have Gabe as a friend.”

.              .              .               .              .

“-So I asked my teacher if I could borrow his clothes so I could go as Dracula… he wasn’t happy!” Harry told them grinning.

“You’re horrible!” Dick laughed.  
“No wonder he hates you!”

“I’m surprised you’re still even allowed to _go_ to school,” Gabe muttered smirking.

He of course meant the fact that Harry had broken several laws already while no one was any the wiser. It was a bit of a joke between those who knew the story. Dumbledore was just so blind, and so were almost all the other teachers barring, perhaps Snape and maybe McGonagall, who had been looking at Harry with a very thoughtful expression lately.

“I will hold a giant party if-no _when_ Harry gets kicked out!” Dick said grinning.

“What?! That so mean of you!” Harry whined pouting.

“Why would you do that?” Gabe asked curiously at almost the same time.

Dick grinned at his two friends.

“Because it means that Harry will come back here permanently of course!”

.              .              .               .              .

Christmas was a regular little thing with just the family. Even aunt Kate and Jane came for the weekend with little Hailey and Harry met his little sister for the very first time. The little baby was adorable and she even smiled at Harry in that cute baby way that made Harry melt completely.

Jane, Kate and the baby stayed until two days after Christmas, in which Harry and the Joker had gone on a special holiday spree with the gang and even aunt Jane had tagged along for that one outing. To celebrate, they painted the whole town red and green before Harry bribed all the ice-villains he knew in making it a ‘White Christmas’. Apparently, it wasn’t evil enough for Batman and Robin to show up and that was just fine for him. They were probably also just celebrating.

“Do you think Batman and Robin have families to hang out with during the holidays?” he asked his dad curiously as they were back home.

Joker stopped making motor noises and brought little Hailey to his chest.

“Probably,” he answered thoughtfully.  
“Someone’s gotta be under that mask, right? And if I can have a family…”

He chuckled and lifted the giggling baby back over his head, letting her play airplane for a bit longer.

.              .              .               .              .

Hogwarts was already in chaos early in the morning after the holidays ended when loud howling could be heard from the Forbidden Forest. As students and teachers alike assembled outside to see what was happening. Many screamed when suddenly, about ten half-grown Acromantulas came rushing out from the trees and scattered away again. The reason why they were fleeing came from between the bushes soon after.

“Onward, my trusty steed!” Harry yelled from the back of the three headed dog he was riding.  
“Don’t fear, my dear citizens! Pest control has arrived! All I ask in payment is that you will give me the Headmaster’s office!”

A soft murmur went through the crowd, but Harry ignored them and goaded Fluffy in chasing the escaping giant spiders. The reason they were fleeing might have been Harry’s wand though, which had a Basilisk scale core.

Draco, Blaise, Theo, Pansy and Daphne were staring at their friend with wide eyes much like the rest of the school was doing. Next to them stood Pucey, who had to grab onto Flint to not burst out laughing while Knight was staring with a mix of horror, amusement and exasperation. Still, no one moved to get Harry off the Cerberus and away from the Acromantulas as even the teachers were terrified. Lockhart had even fainted at the first sight of the giant spiders. Eventually, Harry and the spiders disappeared from sight again and everyone went back inside while Dumbledore and a few teachers decided to go out looking for the wayward student.

“That bloody idiot is going to get himself killed,” Draco told his classmates as they walked towards the Great Hall for breakfast.  
“And the worst part is that he’ll probably be the reason _I_ get killed too! I’ll be stuck with that moron until the moment of my untimely death!”

The second year Slytherins just sat down at their table when Harry strode into the room. He had his head held high and a proud smirk played on his lips. He zoned in on the mostly empty teacher’s table right away and walked over before plopping down on the Headmaster’s seat.

“M-Mr. Quinzel,” Professor Trelawney, the teacher Divination, mumbled.  
“I don’t believe you are supposed to sit there…”

Harry gave her a strange look.

“What in the world are you talking about, Sybil?” he asked.  
“I promised to rid the school of the Acromantula infestation and in return I would be made Headmaster. I held up my half of the bargain.”

“Mr. Quinzel! We made no such promise-” Professor Flitwick started, but Harry cut him off by standing up and clearing his throat.

“Dear students and staff! I am very honored by the trust you all put in me!” he started regally.  
“I promise to do my very best as your new Headmaster to make Hogwarts great again! I will put us on the map so that no one shall ever forget our name again-”

“I don’t doubt that,” Draco drawled quietly, making Blaise and Theo snort amused.

“-As my first official act as your new Headmaster, I would like to pardon Fred and George Weasley for any past and future pranks and name them the official school clowns!”

The Weasley twins jumped up from their seats and applauded loudly, whistling and calling Harry’s name.

“Long live the new Headmaster!” Lee Jordan yelled, which caused a lot of other students, Pucey and Flint included, to applaud as well.

Harry just smiled benevolently, much in the same way Dumbledore always did and bowed his head in thanks before holding his hands up and asking for silence, which he got almost right away.

“Furthermore. I would like to instate Draco Malfoy as my Deputy Headmaster and make Crabbe and Goyle the new Gargoyles to guard the entrance to the Headmaster’s office.”

Loud, thunderous laughter rang through the Hall and more catcalls could be heard while Draco just scowled annoyed and his two baby trolls glared hatefully at Harry.

All cheer was gone as the doors swung open again and Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, Hagrid and Lockhart walked in. Many of the kids that had stood up from their seats to cheer Harry on sat down again quickly and watched fearfully as Snape’s face grew red with rage.

“ _Get down there, Quinzel!_ ” he shouted in a high-pitched voice.

“Severus, please,” Harry sighed in a mild, scolding tone.  
“That is no way to speak to your Headmaster. From today on forward, I will be addressed as ‘Professor’ or ‘Sir’.”

“Wha- Mr. Quinzel!” McGonagall exclaimed wide eyed.

Next to her, Dumbledore just chuckled pleasantly and smiled at Harry.

“And what would be my new position be, Headmaster?” he asked playfully.

“Student of course,” Harry replied easily.  
“No offence, Albus, but I think it’s been a while and you might just need a bit of dusting up on certain things.”

Dumbledore laughed and nodded in agreement before he walked over to the Slytherin table and took a seat between Daphne and Tracy and across Draco.

“I’ve always been curious to what it would be like to be in Slytherin,” he said pleasantly.

“ALBUS!” McGonagall shouted angrily.

“Yes, Professor?” the bearded man asked smiling.

“This is no time for jokes! Mr. Quinzel just chased down _Acromantulas_ with a _Cerberus_!”

“Our hero!” one of the Weasley’s yelled while the other whistled loudly again.

“Wha’ happened to Fluffy, ‘Arry?” Hagrid asked worried.

“I ate him,” Harry replied blankly before looking at McGonagall and Snape.  
“And you two should sit down and shut up or I will fire you both.”

“That’s _enough_!” Snape fumed.  
“Detention! Every Friday for the rest of the year!”

“With that attitude you can forget a raise!” Harry scoffed.

It really looked like Snape was about to explode and both Hagrid and Lockhart were pale enough to faint at any second. With a sigh, Draco stood up from his seat and walked over to the bright haired teen.

“That’s enough, Quinn. Come back down here before someone dies,” he said.

Harry pouted at him, but still hopped down the platform.

“You’re such a downer, Draco!” he complained whining.

.              .              .               .              .

“How did you even do that?” Draco asked Harry as they walked from the Great Hall to the library.

Snape had given them so much homework, Harry thought he was likely to be in the sixth year before he finished it. They were just discussing Harry’s incredible stunt when an angry outburst from the floor above reached their ears.

“That’s Filch,” Harry muttered as they hurried up the stairs and paused, out of sight, listening hard.

“You don’t think someone else’s been attacked?” Draco asked gleefully.

They stood still, their heads inclined toward Filch’s voice, which sounded quite hysterical.

_“-Even more work for me! Mopping all night, like I haven’t got enough to do! No, this is the final straw, I’m going to Dumbledore-”_

His footsteps receded along the out-of-sight corridor and they heard a distant door slam. They poked their heads around the corner. Filch had clearly been manning his usual lookout post: They were once again on the spot where Mrs. Norris had been attacked. They saw at a glance what Filch had been shouting about. A great flood of water stretched over half the corridor, and it looked as though it was still seeping from under the door of Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. Now that Filch had stopped shouting, they could hear Myrtle’s wails echoing off the bathroom walls.

“Now what’s up with her?” Draco muttered annoyed.

“Let’s go and see,” Harry decided.

Holding their robes over their ankles they stepped through the great wash of water to the door bearing an out of order sign, ignored it as always, and entered. Moaning Myrtle was crying, if possible, louder and harder than ever before. She seemed to be hiding down her usual toilet. It was dark in the bathroom because the candles had been extinguished in the great rush of water that had left both walls and floor soaking wet.

“What’s up, Myrtle?” Harry asked, grinning at her.

“Who’s that?” Myrtle asked miserably.  
“Come to throw something else at me?”

“Why would I throw something at you?” Harry asked scowling.

Finally, Myrtle looked up and her eyes widened when she saw Harry.

“Oh! It’s you… I thought you forgot about me, Harry…” she mumbled.

“How could I possibly forget about such a beautiful lady-ghost?” Harry asked, smirking when Myrtle blushed.  
“So, why did someone throw something at you?”

“Don’t ask me,” Myrtle wailed, emerging with a wave of yet more water, which splashed onto the already sopping floor.  
“Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it’s funny to throw a book at me…”

“But it can’t hurt you if someone throws something at you,” Draco reasoned scowling.  
“I mean, it’d just go right through you, wouldn’t it?”

He had said the wrong thing. Myrtle puffed herself up and shrieked.

“Let’s all throw books at Myrtle, because she can’t feel it! Ten points if you can get it through her stomach! Fifty points if it goes through her head! Well, ha, ha, ha! What a lovely game, I don’t think!”

“Who threw it at you, anyway?” Harry asked curiously.

“I don’t know… I was just sitting in the U-bend, thinking about death, and it fell right through the top of my head,” said Myrtle, glaring at them when Harry softly muttered ‘fifty points’.  
“It’s over there, it got washed out…”

Harry and Draco looked under the sink where Myrtle was pointing. A small, thin book lay there. It had a shabby black cover and was as wet as everything else in the bathroom. Draco paled instantly, recognizing the small leather bound book as he staggered back. Harry, on the other hand grinned and shot forward to pick it up.

“D-don’t-” Draco tried, but Harry ignored him and grabbed the small thing.

“Don’t worry, Drake! I know _exactly_ what this is,” Harry chuckled darkly.

.              .              .               .              .

Once they were back in their common room, Harry rushed over to the back of the room away from prying eyes and quickly grabbed a pen and dipped it in ink – seriously, he still didn’t understand why the Wizarding World was so obsessed with the middle ages! Couldn’t they just use ballpoint pens? – He let a few drops fall onto the papers of the small black diary, watching with growing excitement as the drops disappeared. He was right in his guess about the object. Good thing his dad liked to keep him informed because here in the Wizarding World and especially Hogwarts, they preferred to keep him in the dark – which would be more than fine if it was a different sort of dark.

_[I know what you are.]_

He wrote before leaning back. The letters disappeared shortly after, and then it was simply waiting until he received an answer. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait too long.

_[Do you? Then what am I, mystery boy?]_

Harry laughed at the reply. This was amazing! The pure dark power rolling of the book had him all flushed with heat. It felt just like Joker had the night he and Harley had come to pick him up, only this was younger and more seductive than his dad.

_[You are Tom Marvolo Riddle’s first Horcrux.]_

This time, he had to wait even less for an answer to appear. It showed up as soon as his line had gone and was written a lot less neat than the former part, as if the diary was now in a hurry.

_[How do you know about Horcruxes?]_

_[I’m the adopted son of Jack Morfin Riddle, so of course I’d know about what my uncle has done! Besides, apparently I’m the one Prophesized to ‘Vanquish’ Voldemort.]_

_[You are Harry Potter? The boy that calls himself Hadrian Quinzel?]_

_[Harry Quinn for my friends.]_

After that, no answer immediately came. Harry raised a brow in slight amusement and leaned back, whistling ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’ while he waited for Tom to wrap his head around everything and write back.

_[If you know what I am, why haven’t you stopped me yet?]_

_[I like snakes. A basilisk is a big snake. If you hadn’t let it out, I probably would’ve. It’s funny to see all these people run around scared to hell and back.]_

_[You are not how Ginevra described you.]_

_[In public, I play the nice guy… somewhat. People here think I’m just a harmless prankster. And I think little Weasley can’t see straight through her rose tinted glasses.]_

_[At least your parentage explains the coloured hair.]_

Harry chuckled and dipped his feather back into the ink pot. He thought a bit deeper for a short while before leaning back over the book to continue writing.

_[So what now? Should I get you back to Weasley? I bet you’ve got some kind of plan, right? Dad says you always have a plan.]_

_[I do. Ginevra will get me out of this book.]_

_[In that case, I better not be seen handing it back, right? Time to be sneaky I guess ;)]_

“You done creeping everyone out yet?” Draco asked annoyed.

Harry closed the diary and laughed joyously at the question.

“Oh, Draco. I will never be done creeping everyone out!” he teased.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update on Monday because I don't post on weekends!


	45. Love is Crazy

After a whole month, Harry still hadn’t found the perfect time to get the Diary back to Ginny Weasley. He often talked to Tom, but apparently, Joker had gotten caught shortly after he had left back to school, because he hadn’t heard anything from him.

He took the chance to write Tom as often as he could, telling him about all the pranks and writing his worries about his parents off him. Tom answered him always and told him he shouldn’t be so afraid, that ‘Jack’ could take care of himself just fine. He came over as such a charming, understanding person that Harry almost fell for it.

 _[I want to talk to the real you.]_ he wrote one day.

_[Do you mean Lord Voldemort? I’m sorry but I have no idea where he could be.]_

Harry sighed annoyed and rolled his eyes.

_[I know you’re just using me for whatever reason. I promise I get you back to Weasley. Stop being so fucking nice when you don’t mean it. It won’t work on me.]_

_[Force of habit.]_

The conversation fell dead after that and Harry closed the notebook with a sigh. He was at breakfast on Valentine’s Day, and Lockhart just finished his speech on whatever it was he had speeched about on this day. Most of the Slytherins looked very disgruntled, since Valentine’s Day wasn’t a Wizarding holiday. It was something muggleborns had brought over. At least that was what some fourth year was currently complaining about.

“You weren’t some of the 46, were you?” Draco asked the girls.

“Oh, please tell me none of you wrote a bloody _love letter_ to Lockhart!” Blaise groaned, looking sick from just thinking about it.

Daphne scowled and shook her head while Pansy looked absolutely appalled. It was amusing how horrified they all looked at the mere _thought_ when only a month ago, all these girls had been madly in love with Lockhart.

“Everyone knows Quinn hates him,” Tracy pointed out, as if that was the best argument she could think of for why they hadn’t written Lockhart.

“I’m glad I have so many mindless followers,” Harry sneered sarcastically.  
“That’s exactly what I’ve always wanted. I told my dad only this Christmas when he asked what I wanted from Santa. I told him I wanted some brainless servants. Do I look like fucking Voldemort to you?! Do I miss a fucking nose?! If I want that, I’ll make some Inferi or whatever!”

The girl paled instantly and Harry brightened up again.

“If you like the fraud, don’t let me stop you from being number 47!” he said cheerfully.

Tracy blushed and looked away with a scowl as some of the other kids laughed softly at the whole scene.

“Let’s go to class,” Draco sighed, standing up.

Crabbe and Goyle followed him immediately and so did Harry. The brightly haired teen jumped up and threw an arm over the blonde’s shoulder, a wide grin on his face.

“Can I be your follower, Draco?” he asked innocently.  
“I’ll be a good minion and only grunt and crack my knuckles every once in a while!”

“You can’t even stay quiet for five minutes, Quinn,” Draco replied, rolling his eyes.

“You’re right! I’d be a terrible minion. Maybe you should be mine instead.”

His only reply was a loud groan.

“Good morning, Harry, Mr. Malfoy.”

Draco tensed for about a second when Dumbledore walked past them, but he quickly got over it and just frowned unhappily while Harry smiled and waved at their headmaster, looking too innocent for such a troublesome kid.

“Have a good day, Gandalf!” Harry said grinning brightly.

Ever since last year, Harry had made it a habit to call his headmaster Gandalf and until now, Dumbledore hadn’t reacted to it yet.

"Call me that again and you will not pass," Dumbledore said calmly, smiling at Harry with a twinkle in his eyes.

Harry looked on wide eyed in awe as the Headmaster walked away again. Draco scowled confused and gently touched Harry's shoulder.

"What was that about?" the blonde asked.

"That was Dumbledore winning my respect," Harry replied in a whisper.

.              .              .               .              .

“Oy, you! ’Arry Potter!”

Harry stopped forcing his way through the crowd of first years and looked over. For a moment, he was really confused when he saw the dwarf dressed up as some kind of parody of cupid, but then he remembered Lockhart had told them all that there would be about a dozen of them walking around the school to deliver love letters. Only, this one didn’t carry a letter but a harp.

“I’ve got a musical message to deliver to ’Arry Potter in person,” he said, twanging his harp in a threatening sort of way.

Harry cocked his head curiously and waited for the scowling dwarf to start. The bearded creature cleared his throat and twanged his harp again. Draco and many other students had stopped moving to crowd around and watched what would be happening. Some of the older kids were already snickering softly behind their hands before the dwarf even started.

 _“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,_  
His hair is bright as a paradise bird.  
I wish he was mine, he's truly divine,  
the hero who conquered the Dark Lord."

Harry giggled and blushed, pressing his hands against his heated cheeks. He looked over to Draco and batted his eyes at him.

“A fresh pickled toad! I’m swooning!” he squealed.

He turned back towards the dwarf and hugged the small bearded man.

“I love you too! It’s so beautiful!” Harry exclaimed.  
“Let me give you a kiss, darling! Be my Valentine?”

Under loud, thunderous laughter, the dwarf struggled free from Harry, but not before receiving several kisses all over his face.

“No!” Harry screamed as he threw himself at the dwarf, grabbing the small male’s leg.  
“Don’t leave me! I love you so much! Don’t you love me anymore?! Did you find someone better than me? Please, don’t go!”

The dwarf finally got loose and tried to take off, but Harry chased after him. In his hurry, he tripped and fell, causing his bag to fall and spill its contents all over the floor, including Tom’s diary. Ginny Weasley, who had been somewhere in the back of the watching crowd tensed and paled at the sight. Harry smirked inwardly. Perfect. He hurriedly grabbed all his books back in his arms and stood back up.

“Wait! Darling! Don’t go!” he called after the dwarf before chasing after the poor being.

He made sure to ‘accidentally’ drop the diary near where Ginny was and smirked when he saw her pick it up from the corner of his eyes. _‘You’re welcome, Tom,’_ he thought proudly. Now the Chamber could be opened again and more poor little muggleborns would end up hospitalized. Or better yet: Dead.

.              .              .               .              .

The whole rage about Valentine’s Day had Harry’s mind fill with new possible pranks. He wrote a long winded love letter to Dumbledore, addressing it as ‘Athena’, knowing that Dumbledore would suspect it to be McGonagall’s. He did one for Snape too, one that would fart pink glitters when it was opened. He had gotten the Weasley Twins to charm the whole thing so they wouldn’t be removable once they got on your clothes or skin.

Next to that, he paid three of the ‘Cupids’ to follow McGonagall around all day and sing the most cheesy love songs in history. Of course, he couldn’t _not_ ask Professor Flitwick about Entrancing Enchantments, like Lockhart had suggested during his breakfast speech. He even asked how often he had used them and acted horrified when he wondered if his teacher ever used them on students. After that, he acted madly in love with the tiny professor for several hours.

It was all worth the loss of points and the added detention he had gotten by the end of the day. Still, Harry wasn’t done yet in the slightest. No. He had kept the best for last. Lockhart himself.

That night, Harry snuck into Lockhart’s office and put down a love letter along with a gilded cage with a bright lilac bird in it. The letter was written in pink ink and every ‘I’ had a little heart over it. Harry had also kept it decisively anonymous, making it appear to be of an embarrassed female student. The real prank in this, though was the bird. It was a creature called a Fwooper, which had a voice that drove anyone who listened to its song for too long insane.

Harry really hoped that Lockhart would _‘keep it close to him and fall asleep every evening to its lovely singing’_ like he had requested in the letter. He would be completely useless for anything but folding paper hats within the month!

He stayed a bit longer after that because he just couldn’t leave the opportunity to rig the classroom. He magically attached a bucket of pink glue to the door and made sure it would fall on whoever opened the door first. Right outside, he placed a skateboard on which he cast a minor notice-me-not charm and a charm the Twins had taught him, that activated once it started moving, and would start blowing white feathers at him from the other side of the hall.

Lockhart didn’t show up at breakfast the next morning and all his classes were canceled for the entire week as well. No one saw him at all until two days after.

.              .              .               .              .

Easter came closer and closer and on the day before anyone who wanted could go back home for a week, Lockhart stumbled into the Great Hall as if he was drunk his clothes were ruffled and he still had his curlers in. He had a wild look in his eyes and bags under it that made Harry smirk nastily. Draco noticed right away of course, like he seemed to do a lot lately. Ever since his talk with the Joker, Draco seemed to have been developing a hawk’s eye.

“Are you alright, Gilderoy?” Dumbledore asked, slightly worried.

“No talkie, Dumbie,” Lockhart whined, sounding like a three year-old.  
“Gildie wants nappie-nap with pretty birdie…”

“E-excuse me?” McGonagall asked shocked.

Harry gave a soft snicker while Blaise and Theo smirked. Draco rolled his eyes, but he too was smiling. The whole room laughed as Lockhart went to sit down, only to miss his chair and fall sideways on the ground, pulling Professor Vector with him. the teachers all looked horrified when the man started crying like a baby. All, aside from Snape, who’s eyes immediately snapped over to Harry and glared knowingly. Harry just smirked at him and shrugged. He couldn’t prove anything anyway.

.              .              .               .              .

After breakfast, Harry found himself in the Forbidden Forest where he often went to visit Fluffy. The large three headed dog had really grown on him, and the other way around. The giant Cerberus always acted like an excited puppy whenever Harry decided to visit. Harry thought it was absolutely adorable.

He had been given a list of extra subjects for the next year and had to choose at least two of them by the end of the holidays. Which was technically the reason why he was currently in the forest in the first place. Every second year Slytherin was desperate to find out which subjects he would choose so they could take the same ones. Draco, Blaise, Pansy and Daphne were the exceptions luckily. So was Tracy, but that was more because of his reaction with Valentine’s.

He was playing a tune on his mouth harmonica to soothe the large beast he was lying against when his robe pocket suddenly started heating up. He stopped mid-song, ignoring the soft unhappy growl of the giant mass of fluff behind him to pull out his notebook and grinned when he saw it was glowing.

_[I’m back, kiddo.]_

Harry grinned excitedly at his dad’s writing and he pulled out his pen to answer.

_[Thank Chaos! How was Arkham?]_

_[Pretty nice this time of year, as you know. What have you been up to?]_

Harry chuckled and clicked his pen a bit, forming the melody of ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’ before he started writing in the book again.

_[Lots! Pranks, jokes, creeping people out, considering my future school career, finding 50 year-old diaries…]_

_[Looks like you’ve been busy.]_

_[Yeah! I got Lockhart a few times really good! And I send love letters to Snape and Dumbledore, but Snape knew it was me so he put me in detention.]_

_[Was it worth it?]_

_[Totally!]_

_[Go for Ancient Runes. I think it’s one of the most useful ones to do. And maybe Arithmancy.]_

_[Sounds good, but I really want to do Care for Magical Creatures and I don’t see a reason to take more than the minimum.]_

It stayed quiet for a little while after that before his dad answered again.

_[Alright. Now tell me about that diary you found.]_

Harry grinned and patted one of Fluffy’s heads as the large dog looked over at him, whining softly in complaint that Harry was no longer making music for him. He’d play with doggy some more after he was done talking to his dad. Voldemort’s possible resurrection was more interesting.

_[It’s uncle Tommy’s first Horcrux! I got it back to Ginny Weasley. He’s going to use her to come back.]_

Harry rested his notebook on his lap since his dad didn’t reply anymore and leaned back against the large ball of fluff that was the murderous Cerberus. He pulled out his mouth harmonica again and started playing a tune, grinning against the instrument as he heard the large three headed dog sigh happily.

His eyes were closed as he played some blues music. He’d been practicing on it every time he ended up in prison or Arkham, just because he liked the looks he got from the wardens. Because of that, though, he didn’t notice his notebook started glowing until it was too late and he was whisked away along with Fluffy.

“Woah!” Harry exclaimed as he toppled at the landing.

Next to him, Fluffy was growling threateningly at the Joker, who was staring wide-eyed at the three headed dog, looking actually scared for the first time in Harry’s life. Harry laughed and started playing on his mouth harmonica again. Within seconds, Fluffy had calmed down. The six dog eyes drooped and fell closed and the three heads rested on his paws as he huffed sleepily.

Harry motioned at his dad to step away and the two left the room they had been occupying with the large dog without Harry stopping his music. Only when the door fell closed and Joker had muttered a locking spell on it did Harry’s instrument leave his lips and he grinned.

“Like my new pet?” Harry asked jokingly.

_“How the hell did you get by a fucking Cerberus?!”_

“That’s Fluffy! Hagrid’s dog,” Harry laughed.  
“The one that guarded the Sorcerer’s Stone last year.”

“The one you failed to get,” Joker remembered grinning.

Harry scowled and the reminder and nodded reluctantly. He hated being reminded of his failures, but maybe that’s why his dad loved pointing them out so much. Harry guessed riling each other up was a family tradition.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Year two is getting on fast. By the end of the week, it will be over and then I can get started on year three!
> 
> The way I’m seeing it now, Harry’s third year will probably be the shortest of all, unless I’m given some awesome ideas from my awesome readers of course! I’ll be needing an idea for a new hair color for Harry too. I’ll be asking the same thing for fourth year, sixth year and seventh year.


	46. The Great Escape

The next day had Harry sitting in front of his computer opening Skype to talk to Dick. He’d done it a few more times whenever he was in London, but this time around, he was sitting at home, with Joker and Harley planning a new raid in the next room so he was pretty nervous. Dick couldn’t know he was back for the holidays, so he had to try and keep his friend away from the subject as he hated lying to Dick.

 _“Hey there!”_ Dick’s grinning face announced as soon as he appeared on screen.

“Hi!” Harry piped happily.  
“You miss me yet?”

_“I miss you all the time! Especially during classes… I have no one to throw paper airplanes at the teachers with now…”_

“What about Bette?” Harry asked curiously.

 _“Different homeroom than me,”_ Dick shrugged miserably.  
_“We only have Math and French together.”_

“Oh. J'espère que ce n'est pas trop difficile,” Harry asked smirking.

Dick laughed and grinned back at Harry.

 _“Il va bien,”_ he replied smirking.

The two of them continued their banter for a while longer until Dick’s smile turned into a thoughtful frown. Harry stopped mid-way an explanation on how his Headmaster now thought that one of his own teachers was madly in love with him and looked worried at his friend.

“You alright?” he asked.

_“Harry… I want to confess something to you… but-but I’m not supposed to, or, well… I’m too afraid to.”_

Harry furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to reply. He was Dick’s best friend, wasn’t he? They should be able to tell each other everything, so what was Dick afraid of? Then he remembered his own big secret and closed his mouth again.

“Tell you what,” he started, trying to think of something to put Dick’s mind at ease.  
“I have one of those secrets too, so here’s what we’ll do. If you press mute, you won’t be able to hear me anymore, right? Well, both of us will press mute at the same time and do our confessions.”

 _“But how do we know the other pressed mute?”_ Dick asked nervously.

Harry grinned at him and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. A big feat, since Harry was pretty damn scared at the moment. What if his trust in Dick was misguided and the other would secretly listen at his confession anyway? His dad would kill him for taking the risk, but Harry believed in Dick.

“We’re best friends,” he said softly, still smiling.  
“I trust you, and I hope you trust me too.”

Dick smiled at that and nodded.

_“I trust you, Harry.”_

“Alright! On the count of three? One, two,… three!”

Harry pressed the mute button, watching as Dick moved forward and pressed something too. They looked each other in the eye and smiled. Harry saw Dick’s mouth move, but he pointedly ignored it, lest he would accidentally read his lips. Instead, he took a deep breath and gave his own confession.

“I’m the Joker’s Heir, Child’s Play,” he said.  
“Oh! And I go to a magic school because I’m also a wizard.”

When he was done, he smiled at Dick again and turned the sound back on. Dick moved with him, presumably to do the same.

“Done?” he asked.

 _“Done,”_ Dick agreed with a smile.  
_“Hey, I got to go, so we’ll talk some other time, alright?”_

“Yeah. Bye Dick!”

_“Bye Harry.”_

Harry exited Skype and walked out of the room into Joker’s ‘planning room’. His parents both turned to look at him with wide grins that made Harry automatically smile as well.

“Just in time, kiddo! Now here’s what’s going to go down…”

.              .              .               .              .

It had been a great plan. For about half an hour, Joker, Harry and Harley had Gotham shivering in terror, but Joker had forgotten to calculate in that Batman would be on high alert since his and Harley’s escape two days earlier. Which was the reason why they now found themselves back in Arkham.

“It has been a while since we last saw each other,” Harry’s psychiatrist said.

“I know! Missed me, doc? **_I sure missed you_** ,” Harry giggled, grinning darkly at the man.

The doctor shivered lightly and cleared his throat a bit nervously. They hadn’t ended on the best of terms last time when Harry had tied him up and left him hanging over Killer Crock’s lair, only a few inches out of reach of the monstrous being.

“Alright, Harry. I will show you some drawings and I want you to tell me what you see.”

Harry rolled his eyes and tried to make himself more comfortable while still stuck in the damn straitjacket. He grinned when his psychologist showed the first ink blotch.

“I see that you aren’t a very good artist,” he said smirking.

The doctor scowled and glared at Harry.

“I didn’t make these,” he said.

“Well, however it made isn’t a good artist.”

“It’s not meant to be art, Harry,” the doc sighed.  
“Just tell me what it looks like to you.”

“Like an ink spot,” Harry replied blankly.

“That’s because it _is_ an ink spot.”

Harry smiled brightly at the man.

“Then good job, doc! Thought next time try something with a bit more expression.”

“That’s not-! … Never mind. Can you please tell me what you see in it?” the man asked tiredly.

“Nothing. Just a mess,” Harry shrugged, scowling as if he was confused.

“Nothing? Not even a kitty or a butterfly?” the psychologist tried almost desperately.

Harry chuckled and shook his head.

“If it was supposed a butterfly, I’d say you need some more practice,” he said.

“I didn’t make these!”

“Sure…”

The man threw the papers down and sighed loudly.

“We’re done for today. I’ll let the guards in.”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry had expected to get out within a few days, but it turned out they had upped the security of Arkham since he’d been there last. After a week and three escape attempts, Harry was still stuck in his maximum security cell opposite from his dad’s. He used to be kept in the women’s wing close to his mom, but after he started catcalling the female inmates, he had been moved here instead. That was alright though. Scarecrow was an interesting conversation partner.

“Today school starts again, kiddo!” Joker spoke up that morning while they were all at breakfast.  
“Me and Harl can stay here as long as we want no problem, but you…”

“I know,” Harry gritted out annoyed.

Joker chuckled and threw a pack of cards at his son.

“Maybe you can entertain yourself a bit in your isolation cell,” the green haired man said winking.

Harry grinned and nodded in agreement. He jumped off his seat and grabbed his half-empty bowl of oatmeal. His dad must have a reason to want him to do this, so he would. He took his bowl towards where Bane was sitting and emptied his bowl over the man’s head.

“What the fuck!” the man screamed, jumping up.

“No cursing in front of minors!” Harry scolded the man giggling.

“I am Bane and I could **kill** you... but death would only end your agony and silence your shame. Instead, I will simply... **BREAK YOU**!”

“Nice line! I’m stealing it!” Harry laughed teasingly.

Harry laughed and jumped on the table, kicking away Bane’s food. The man went after him, shouting angrily. Harry just started throwing more food around as he ran off, yelling “Food fight!” over and over again even as several guards came after him too.

“You little brat!” Bane screamed.

“Come and catch me you big ugly buffoon!” Harry shouted back.

He continued throwing the inmates food at the guards and Bane while more chaos started to ensue. Joker was laughing insanely and he and Harley had started throwing food as well. The Mad Hatter was hiding under the table while Two-Face was turning the whole thing into a fist fight.

In the end, it took over half an hour to pacify the inmates and send them all back to their cells while Harry went to solitary confinement. The guards pushed him in after searching his pockets and taking out the three plastic knives, six plastic forks and a plastic spoon as well as the pack of cards.

“You’re staying in here for a whole week, kid,” the head guard growled.

“I hope the guards like my singing!” Harry shot back.  
“I’m going to be fucking bored in here for a week.”

With a scowl, the guard threw the cards after the boy before slamming the door closed. Harry chuckled and pulled the cards out of their box. It was an old set, one that stemmed from the late 1920’s or early 30’s if he had to guess. It was a bit weird why his dad would give him such old cards, or cards at all. As far as he could see, there was nothing strange about the deck except that they were all red ones for some reason. But they weren’t disguised throwing stars and they didn’t explode…

“William Kogut,” Harry muttered smirking.

There used to be nitrocellulose in the red ink of the cards… Not enough to use, but Harry was good at chemistry and even better at wandless duplicating spells. He was quick to stack all the cards on each other and he used a spell he had learned from his dad to extract a single chemical. Nitrocellulose in this case before duplicating it a few times and used the little card box to hold it.

“Now just some heat for the boom…” Harry muttered grinning.

He snapped his fingers and a small blue flame appeared at his tips.

.              .              .               .              .

The whole of Arkham was freaking out as Child’s Play ran amok. After escaping solitary confinement, he had snuck over to where his stuff was being kept and redressed. After that, he had gone to the security room and freed all the prisoners. It was surprisingly easy to walk around once he escaped the cell. Really, they should improve their security… even more than they already had.

Sadly, Child’s Play was only one boy and couldn’t really do more to help his parents out than what he had already done, so to avoid being recaptured, he ran off fast in the commotion. The guards were too busy with trying to recapture the big fish anyway.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was just feeding Fluffy when Joker and Harley walked into the house.

“There is the little hero!” Joker laughed.

“Hey! I helped you guys out! No need to insult me!” Harry scoffed.

The green haired Clown Prince of Crime chuckled amused and ruffled Harry’s hair fondly.

“Get your book. I’ll send you back to school,” he said.

“An’ we’ll take care of ya big goofy pet!” Harley said grinning.  
“He can make friends with my little babies!”

Joker didn’t seem to really agree, but as Harley bounced over to the large three headed dog and gave the middle head a big, squeezing hug, making the head whine in pain while the other two whimpered fearfully. No animal would ever scare the blonde it seemed. Then again, a woman who was insane enough to call two feral albino hyenas her ‘babies’ and wanted desperately to marry the Joker could hardly be afraid of anything.

.              .              .               .              .

“Quinn!” Draco’s voice bellowed.

He and the rest of the Slytherins just walked back into the common room after a long day of classes to find their missing peer sitting calmly in one of the armchairs reading a book of muggle fiction. Harry looked up and blinked innocently at the angry blonde and closed his book.

“Did I miss something?” he asked sweetly.

“How about a _whole day of bloody classes?! WHERE WERE YOU?!”_

“Well, an old lady asked me the fastest way to the hospital, so I pushed her under a bus!”

“That’s… I don’t know what to think about that honestly…” Pansy muttered frowning.

“Good to have you back either way, Quinn,” Blaise said grinning, sitting down next to the colorful haired teen.

“We told the teachers you felt a bit sick, so you were staying in bed all day,” Theo told Harry with a proud smile.

“Good thinking. Thanks guys,” Harry said grinning.

“You did miss something yesterday though,” Daphne spoke up.

“Yeah! Granger got petrified!” Pansy exclaimed gleefully.  
“So I guess it really wasn’t you in the end. You weren’t here.”

Harry’s eyes widened in shock when he heard this. So Hermione had been the latest victim of the Basilisk. He had hoped it wouldn’t be, but he did expect it. Hermione was a muggleborn after all, and those were who Tom targeted. Along with cats of Squibs he guessed…

“I want to see her,” he decided.

“She’s in the hospital wing,” Draco muttered.

“Great! Let’s go!” Harry said, grabbing Draco’s wrist and dragging him along.

He and Draco rushed through the many corridors and up several staircases towards the hospital wing. They weren’t the only ones there to visit Hermione, it seemed, as Fred and George were already there, talking silently with each other until they saw Harry show up.

“Harry! We missed you today!” Fred exclaimed.

“Were you perhaps in the Chamber, commanding the big scary monster to attack our poor little Hermione?” George asked.

“Were you perhaps jealous of how smart she is?” Fred asked.

“Oh no. This wasn’t my idea,” Harry said straight-faced.  
“This time around, Draco paid me to do it.”

He looked around himself conspiratory and leaned closer to the twins.

“He’s a secret somnofile,” he whispered.

Draco turned bright red, even though he had no idea what ‘somnofile’ meant. Fred and George seemed to know exactly what it was though, as they gasped horrified and slapped their hands over their mouth.

“We need to protect our little witch’s innocence!” George exclaimed.

“So what happened exactly?” Harry asked as he walked towards the bed.

Hermione lay utterly still, her eyes open and glassy.

“They were found near the library,” Fred explained sadly.

“Hermione and Penelope Clearwater, the Prefect from Ravenclaw,” George said.

“Percy’s freaking out a lot because he didn’t think the monster would attack a prefect,” Fred added with a sigh.

“Huh… I wonder what will happen now,” Harry muttered thoughtfully.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry couldn’t help it. Lockhart was just getting too much on his nerves not to do anything to him… again. He decided in using an apple this time, one he’d dipped in a potion.

He’d thought of using Draught of the Living Dead first and copy the story of Snow White, but decided against it at the last moment. He could come up with something more creative than stealing the idea of a fairy tale after all. In the end, he ended up brewing a potion much more fun than just a sleeping draught along with the help of his two favorite Gryffindor pranksters.

He left the apple on Lockhart’s desk after class and went with the rest of his friends down for dinner. He really hoped Lockhart would eat from it before coming down as well.

“You look too smug,” Draco pointed out distrustfully.

Harry smiled innocently while the rest of his friends eyed him warily.

“You did something to Professor Lockhart, didn’t you?” Theo asked.

“Just wait and see~” Harry sang amused.

He skipped towards the Slytherin table and took his usual spot. Fred and George had been talking to Lee until they saw Harry arrive and all three hurried over quickly, grinning wickedly. Draco gave a deep sigh and moved a bit out of the way to allow Fred to take his place next to Harry while George pushed Blaise to the side to sit on Harry’s other side. Lee just stayed standing behind the young King of Pranks.

“Did you leave the apple?” Fred asked eagerly.

“You think he’ll eat it right away?” George wanted to know.

“I left it and we’ll know right away!” Harry laughed, pointing at Lockhart, who came strutting into the room.

Fred and George grinned at each other in excitement and jumped up. The three fourth years walked up to their defense teacher and stopped him.

“Professor! I have a question on something I read in ‘ _Travels with Trolls’_!” Lee started.  
“You said you used a cutting hex to slice off one of its fingers, but I’m wondering which one that would be.”

Lockhart smiled gently, in the way one does when a young child asks an obvious question and opened his mouth to answer.

“Tock tock tock,” he clacked like a chicken.

Immediately, the whole school burst out laughing and Blaise clapped Harry on the back. Even Theo, Draco and the girls were laughing while Lee just looked confused.

“Um… Professor? Are you alright?” he asked while behind him, the twins had to support each other as they laughed themselves silly.

Lockhart looked absolutely mortified.

“POCK!” he shrieked, causing another wave of laughter.

.              .              .               .              .

“All students will return to their House common rooms by six o’clock in the evening. No student is to leave the dormitories after that time. You will be escorted to each lesson by a teacher. No student is to use the bathroom unaccompanied by a teacher. All further Quidditch training and matches are to be postponed. There will be no more evening activities.”

All the Slytherins stared blankly at Snape as they were all packed in their common room.

“There is a possibility that the school will close if the culprit isn’t apprehended soon,” the Potions Master said, giving Harry in particular a piercing glare.

“You know, I have a feeling you might be subtly accusing _me_ of having anything to do with this,” Harry told his teacher innocently.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Quinzel,” the man drawled sarcastically.

Several of the students were snickering softly at Harry’s mock offended expression as Snape turned away and walked back out of the room. Harry huffed, stuck his nose high in the air and strode off to the dorms under loud, thunderous laughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all the french-speaking readers out there. I'm really sorry! I had to use google translate for even that tiny little conversation because, and I hate to admit it, but I'm terrible at French.  
> I should be able to do it, since I've been learning it for literally years, but I still can't. I really wish I could though, because it's such a beautiful language, and I understand it relatively well, but I have no sense in sentence construction and grammar.  
> I really should start putting in as much effort in French and German as I did in English...


	47. The Chamber of Secrets

It didn’t take long until Hagrid was arrested and Dumbledore was, curtesy of Lucius Malfoy, suspended. Harry was of course very happy about this, and so was his dad when he wrote about it to him. Lockhart was fired as well, as in the last several weeks, he had been acting extremely confused and forgetful until one day, he just broke down in the middle of the Great Hall and confessed how everything in his books was fake. That he had stolen all the credits of other wizards and witches and obliviated them all. After that, he begged to be allowed back to his room because he missed ‘the pretty songbird song’.

Several weeks went by and slowly, summer was on its way. With Dumbledore gone, fear had spread like never before, so that the sun warming the castle walls outside seemed to stop at the mullioned windows. There was barely a face to be seen in the school that didn’t look worried and tense, and any laughter that rang through the corridors sounded shrill and unnatural and was quickly stifled.

Of course, that didn’t take the Slytherin dorms in account. And Draco took pleasure in taunting the Gryffindors, which he did in the next Potions Class as he was bragging to Crabbe and Goyle.

“I always thought Father might be the one who got rid of Dumbledore,” he said, not troubling to keep his voice down.  
“I told you he thinks Dumbledore’s the worst headmaster the school’s ever had. Maybe we’ll get a decent headmaster now. Someone who won’t want the Chamber of Secrets closed. McGonagall won’t last long, she’s only filling in…”

Snape swept past Harry, making no comment about Hermione’s empty seat and cauldron.

“Sir,” Draco spoke up loudly.  
“Why don’t you apply for the headmaster’s job?”

“Now, now, Draco,” Snape said, though he couldn’t suppress a thin-lipped smile.  
“Professor Dumbledore has only been suspended by the governors. I daresay he’ll be back with us soon enough.”

“Yeah, right,” Draco scoffed, smirking.  
“I expect you’d have Father’s vote, sir, if you wanted to apply for the job – I’ll tell Father you’re the best teacher here, sir-”

Snape smirked as he swept off around the dungeon, not spotting Seamus Finnegan, who was pretending to vomit into his cauldron.

“I’m quite surprised the Mudbloods haven’t all packed their bags by now,” Draco went on.  
“Bet you five Galleons the next one dies. Pity it wasn’t Granger-”

The bell rang at that moment, which was quite the disappointment to Harry, as Ron Weasley had jumped up at Draco’s last words and his attempt to get to the blonde was now going unnoticed with everyone else scrambling to get their bags so they could leave. Harry was a bit confused with the redhead’s reaction though, as he didn’t think Ron and Hermione got along.

They were just on their way to the next class, with Professor Snape escorting them reluctantly when Harry and Draco were pulled aside by Fred and George who had been hiding in an alcove.

“You know, if you act so sneaky, people will think _you’re_ the Heirs of Slytherin,” Harry pointed out amused.

Neither of the red haired Gryffindor 4th years reacted to the teasing and instead, Fred pushed a crumbled piece of paper in Harry’s hand, his eyes glittering in excitement.

_‘Of the many fearsome beasts and monsters that roam our land, there is none more curious or more deadly than the Basilisk, known also as the King of Serpents. This snake, which may reach gigantic size and live many hundreds of years, is born from a chicken’s egg, hatched beneath a toad. Its methods of killing are most wondrous, for aside from its deadly and venomous fangs, the Basilisk has a murderous stare, and all who are fixed with the beam of its eye shall suffer instant death. Spiders flee before the Basilisk, for it is their mortal enemy, and the Basilisk flees only from the crowing of the rooster, which is fatal to it.’_

And beneath this, a single word had been written, in a hand Harry recognized as Hermione’s. ‘Pipes’.

“Found this in Hermione’s hand when we visited her this morning,” George explained excitedly.

“I thought no one was allowed in the hospital wing anymore?” Draco asked confused.

“Technically, no,” Fred agreed.

“But we snuck in,” George said grinning.

“And a good thing too! Now we know what’s been attacking the students!”

Draco looked very unimpressed and he crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the Gryffindor duo.

“And why did you go to _us_ with this instead of to teachers?” he asked annoyed.

Fred and George stopped grinning and blinked confused. Why did they indeed? Harry cocked his head curiously, wanting to know the answer to that as well.

“We don’t really know,” Fred confessed scowling.

“Well, Harry is sort of our King…” George shrugged.

“The King of Pranks!” Fred agreed.

“The King of Slytherin!” George said.

“Parselmouth!” the two of them exclaimed.

Harry’s eyes widened in shock. How did they know.

“H-how-…” Draco stuttered.

The twins smirked.

“Elladora Hitchens,” they said in unison.

“Nice girl,” Fred said.

“Fun in bed too!” George laughed.

“Good to know,” Harry said darkly.

The next day, Elladora Hitchens was brought to the hospital wing with an unknown illness keeping her bedridden. None of the Slytherins could explain to the teachers how she got it or what it was, though Harry helpfully supplied that it might have something to do with her dangerous habit of fucking any dick in sight. He got detention for using despicable language as well as slandering a fellow schoolmate.

.              .              .               .              .

Another two days went by where everything was slowly calming down again until, as Harry and the twins were hiding together in an alcove, talking about new and better ways to prank the teachers, Professor McGonagall’s voice, magically magnified echoed through the hallways.

_“All students are to return to their House dormitories at once. All teachers return to the staffroom. Immediately, please.”_

Harry looked at the twins and pulled out his Invisibility Cloak, grinning at the older duo.

“Care for a stroll?” he asked.

.              .              .               .              .

The trio arrived at the staffroom at the same time as McGonagall did and they were able to slip in with her and listen in. all the teachers fell quiet and looked over expectantly at McGonagall, who looked weary and old all of a sudden.

“It has happened,” she told the silent staffroom.  
“A student has been taken by the monster. Right into the Chamber itself.”

Professor Flitwick let out a squeal. Professor Sprout clapped her hands over her mouth. Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard.

“How can you be sure?” he asked.

“The Heir of Slytherin,” Professor McGonagall replied white-faced.  
“They left another message. Right underneath the first one. _‘Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever.’_ ”

Professor Flitwick burst into tears.

“Who is it?” Madam Hooch asked as she sunk weak-kneed, into a chair.  
“Which student?”

“Ginny Weasley,” Professor McGonagall said.

Harry heard Fred and George gasp in horror next to him and one of them sank to their knees at the information. Luckily, several of the teachers had the same reaction, so no one but Harry noticed.

“We shall have to send all the students home tomorrow,” Professor McGonagall muttered.  
“This is the end of Hogwarts. Dumbledore always said…”

Harry wasn’t interested in hearing anything else. He urged the twins into moving and they all snuck back out the door. Everyone was too busy wallowing to notice the door open and close anyway.

“You two go back to the dorms,” Harry ordered, taking off the Cloak once they were a safe distance away.

“What about you?” Fred asked weakly.

Harry smirked at them.

“I have a suspicion on where the Chamber is, so I’ll go get Ginny,” he replied.

“We’re coming too!” George exclaimed immediately.

Harry laughed harshly and glared at the twins.

“HAH! I don’t think so,” he said firmly.  
“With just me, I can sneak in and back out without anyone noticing anything. But if you two follow, you can bet the Basilisk, or the Heir finds us and then Ginny is dead and possibly the rest of us too.”

It was a cruel thing to say, but Harry really didn’t want them to go with him. He had plans after all. It seemed to work just fine as Fred and George nodded gravely. Harry grinned at them and pulled the Cloak back over his head before taking off towards Myrtle’s bathroom.

Moaning Myrtle was sitting on the tank of the end toilet. Harry had hoped he could do this without the ghost looking over his shoulder, but he guessed he couldn’t have everything, so he sighed and pulled the Cloak off.

“Oh, it’s you,” she said when she saw Harry.  
“What do you want this time?”

“Being an awesome hero and save the life on an innocent little girl,” Harry replied.  
“I’m going to save her from dying the same way you did, so if you don’t mind…”

He looked over to the sink and smirked as he noticed the one with a snake engraved on it.

“That tap’s never worked,” Myrtle said brightly as he tried to turn it.

“I had a feeling it wouldn’t,” Harry replied amused.

He took a step back and took a deep breath. Malinda, who had been hiding under his clothes this whole time peeked out and tasted the air. Harry could feel she was excited, but what snake wouldn’t be so near the lair of the King of all Serpents?

 ** _*Open,*_** he hissed.

At once the tap glowed with a brilliant white light and began to spin. Next second, the sink began to move; the sink, in fact, sank, right out of sight, leaving a large pipe exposed, a pipe wide enough for a man to slide into.

“See you in a bit, Myrtle!” he laughed before jumping down the hole.

It was like rushing down an endless, slimy, dark slide. He could see more pipes branching off in all directions, but none as large as the main one, which twisted and turned, sloping steeply downward, and he knew that he was falling deeper below the school than even the dungeons. And then, all of a sudden the pipe leveled out, and he shot out of the end with a wet thud, landing on the damp floor of a dark stone tunnel large enough to stand in.

 ** _*That was fun,*_** Harry told Malinda.

 ** _*Hatchling as an odd understanding of ‘fun’,*_** the snake hissed back spitefully, making Harry laugh.

After casting a quickly muttered Lumos, Harry started walking through the dank, dark tunnel. He came across a large shed skin of the Basilisk, and he couldn’t help but whistle at the enormous size of that thing. The snake was huge!

The tunnel turned and turned again. Every nerve in Harry’s body was tingling pleasantly. He wanted the tunnel to end already. And then, at last, as he crept around yet another bend, he saw a solid wall ahead on which two entwined serpents were carved, their eyes set with great, glinting emeralds. He could guess what he had to do. He cleared his throat, and the emerald eyes seemed to flicker.

 ** _*Open,*_** Harry spoke, in a low, faint hiss.

The serpents parted as the wall cracked open, the halves slid smoothly out of sight, and Harry, shaking from head to toe in excitement, walked inside.

Harry walked into the Chamber. It was the first time he had the chance to visit it, even though he had known of its location even before he went to Hogwarts. This were definitely different than he had expected though. For one, there was a little girl with bright red hair laying in the middle of the room. If he had been the boy he’d played to be in front of Dumbledore and the teachers, he’d panic and run towards the girl, hoping she was still alive, but he wasn’t.

“Is she dead yet?” he asked loudly.

“Not yet, no.”

A figure walked out from the shadows, smirking. It wasn’t the first time Harry saw Tom of course, but it was the first outside of the Diary. Somehow, him being here physically made him even more handsome. He grinned at the other and walked in fully into the room.

“Hey there, Tom,” he greeted.

“Hello, Harry,” the older spoke, inclining his head.

Harry grinned even wider and skipped over to Ginny Weasley’s form, bending down next to her to check her over. She was almost as pale as Joker, her vibrant hair turned duller and her breathing came out slow. Harry pressed two fingers against her neck, feeling her pulse fluttered weakly.

“Almost there,” he muttered.  
“Did you know she had a crush on me?”

“She didn’t talk about anything else,” Tom snorted, looking down at the girl in distaste as he stood next to Harry.  
“She wrote down everything you did, to what kind of breakfast you had to who you hang out with and where.”

“Stalker,” Harry snickered.  
“I pity you, Tommy.”

The older teen glared at him.

“Don’t call me that,” he said warningly.

“I can’t call you Voldemort, we already got one of those,” Harry shot back, rolling his eyes.

Tom glared at him for a few moments before stretching out his hand expectantly. Harry raised a brow and just stared at the hand for the longest time until Tom sighed in irritation and shook his own hand demandingly in front of Harry.

“I’ll need a wand,” Tom said.

“Oh!”

Harry jumped in action, digging in his pocket to pull out both his wands. He handed the Holly one over to Tom, grinning at the raised brow when the other saw he had two wands.

“It’s either mine or Weasley’s I guess, and I thought that bringing hers back would give me some brownie points with the family,” he explained.  
“It’s got a twin core to your own wand, so you should be able to use it no problem. But no illegal stuff. That one’s got a tracker on it.”

“Then why not give me the other?” Tom asked.

“It’s custom made in Knockturn, with my blood in it so no one but me can use it.”

Tom rolled his eyes and pocketed the wand.

“Alright, now we need proof that you ‘defeated’ me,” he said calmly, though his nose scrunched up in distaste.

Before Harry could reply, Ginny jerked and gasped before going completely limp, her head lolling to the side as she drew her last breath. Harry’s eyes fell on the small black book in her hand and kneeled down again to grab it.

“You still need this?” he asked, holding the diary up to Tom.

The teen looked at it for a moment, before looking at his own hands. Whereas he had before been sickly pale and barely corporeal, he was now completely healthy and alive looking. Still pale of course, but in the powerful vampire way, not the zombie way. He shook his head and grinned.

“No. Not anymore,” Tom said.

.              .              .               .              .

The entire school was in a panic when Harry suddenly stumbled through the hallways, his face and clothes coated in grime, and a large gash in his arm. He carried Ginny’s lifeless body in his arms. Teachers and other students rushed up to him to relief him of his burden and ask him many question. Fred, George, Ron and Percy wailed at the sight of their dead sister and Harry apologized weakly to them, tears in his eyes.

“I k-killed the Basilisk, but I was t-too late,” Harry whimpered, pulling out a tattered black diary with a giant hole through it.

“You should have come to us instantly instead of doing such a reckless thing!” McGonagall scolded.

“I-I’m sorry!” Harry cried fat tears rolling over his dirty cheeks as he stared up at his teacher with big eyes.  
“I was so scared and I couldn’t think! I-I thought that if I saved Ginny, no one would blame me anymore…”

The incredibly sad and guilty look in Harry’s eyes broke McGonagall’s heart and she leaned down to give the colorful haired boy a tight hug.

“Let’s get you to the hospital wing right away, dear boy,” she muttered.

Harry nodded weakly and hid his face in her robes to keep everyone from seeing the nasty smirk that stretched across his face.

 


	48. End of the Year

While Harry was at the hospital, Mrs. And Mr. Weasley came by to pick up their daughter’s body. Harry handed them her wand as well, tears streaming down his face and apologies tumbling from his trembling lips. Mrs. Weasley had hugged him tightly and assured him that it wasn’t his fault.

Dumbledore was back too. He had been taken off suspension when the Board of Governors, which was led by Lucius Malfoy, realized that things only gotten worse after the old man had left. Lucius visited the school too, furious about Dumbledore’s return, or so Draco told Harry since he wasn’t allowed out of the hospital wing. The only reason he really stayed was because it gave him pity-points and with those, people were less likely to think he had anything to do with Ginny’s death, or anything else for that matter, actually.

One early morning after two days of being hospitalized, Snape came by looking very unhappy. Harry watched as the man strode over to him and came to a halt at the foot of his bed. For several seconds, everyone was quiet as Snape just glared down at Harry while the bright haired teen blinked up innocently at him.

“Can I help you?” Harry asked eventually.

“What did you do?” Snape asked in reply.

Harry frowned as if confused and looked around before giving the Potions Master a piercing stare as if to say ‘I’m in the hospital’.

“I know you had something to do with all this!” the greasy haired man hissed.

“If I had anything to do with it, why would I go and almost get myself killed to save Ginny?” Harry asked scowling.  
“You’re confusing me, Professor. I only tried to help. Don’t be so mean, please.”

Snape hissed angrily in reply and pulled out his wand, pointing it at Harry.

“You have something to do with this and I will find out what!”

“Yeah. I was the one that risked my own fucking life to get a corpse back here,” Harry sneered, but Snape clearly didn’t buy it.

_“Legilimens!”_

*

_After casting the spell, Snape felt like he lost his conscience. When he woke up, he found himself in a white padded room, completely void of any furniture and one large, glass wall. The Potter brat, now with brown hair instead of the red and blue, stood on the other side of the glass, smirking at him. The child wore a dark brown trench coat, faded blue jeans and a black fedora._

_Snape scowled and tried to get up, only to realize he was stuck in a straitjacket. The man scowled and tried to use wandless magic to get the thing off, but nothing at all happened._

_“You like it? It’s sort of like home to me,” Harry commented casually._

_Snape looked back up, startled to see the boy suddenly sitting right in front of him, hair bright poisonous green and it fell in messy waves to his shoulders. He was wearing the same kind of straitjacket as he was, only it was a faded orange instead of white and the sleeves and clasps were purple. The boy was bare footed and wore baggy blue pants and what looked to be a blue dog collar was fastened around his neck._

_“What is this?” Snape hissed at the boy.  
“Where am I? Where did you bring me?”_

_“Technically we’re both still in the hospital wing at school,” Harry hummed.  
“And you are where you wanted to be: inside my head. Not what you expected? Pity.”_

_Snape scowled. The child was chaotic and wild, he had expected he wouldn’t even notice he was in his mind, yet here he was, stuck. At least he would be able to figure out what made the brat so strange._

_“You won’t like what you find outside this cell,” Harry warned him giggling._

_“I’ll be the judge of that,” Snape snarled._

_The straitjacket disappeared all of a sudden, and Snape was able to leave the room. He did, running out the glass door quickly. He paused when he suddenly stood outside. Looking back, he didn’t see the cell, but a large stone building. Over the large oak doors stood the words **’Arkham Asylum’** in large letters and he swallowed nervously. Did that mean the boy belonged in an Asylum?_

_“He does. But he keeps escaping,” a young voice growled annoyed._

_Snape turned around quickly, eyes widening when he saw Harry again, this time with black hair and dressed in a red and green costume with a black cape and a black domino mask. A yellow ‘R’ was proudly displayed on his chest._

_“What are you supposed to be?” the confused potions master asked annoyed._

_“Harry’s more sane parts,” the boy replied.  
“I don’t look it, but where we live, everyone is dressed up. I’m the part that still cares. I’m the only thing keeping his friends alive.”_

_“You mean…”_

_“He’s insane.”_

_“So are you,” the brunette Harry spoke up, suddenly standing next to Snape.  
“You’re me too, even if you dress up like him. You’re just as much Harry as I am.”_

_“He’s our most annoying part,” a third Harry said._

_This one had also brown hair that was much tamer and fell into charming curls over his forehead. He wore his Hogwarts robes, his green eyes several shades darker than the original. Next to him stood a black haired, brown eyed Harry, wearing Gryffindor robes, and it startled Snape to see how much the boy looked like his father. Before Snape could think of a proper reaction, yet another Harry walked up to them. Again with green hair, but wearing a colorful costume, red goggles around his neck and light blue eyes and clown face-paint._

_“What is going on here?” he asked._

_“I told you, you wouldn’t like what you found,” the first green haired Harry, the one in a strait jacket, snickered.  
“We’re all parts of Harry. Every single one of us is him, not more and not less than the others. That makes it a bit difficult to figure out who’s the one you know.”_

_“Do you know me, maybe?” the clown Harry asked.  
“I’m the one known as Harry Quinn. The fun-loving and playful Harry.”_

_“Or me?” the strait jacket Harry asked.  
“My name is Harridan Joker. The insane and psychopathic Harry.”_

_“Maybe it’s me?” the Slytherin Harry suggested smirking.  
“I am Harrison Riddle. The cunning and calculating Harry.”_

_“How about me?” the fedora Harry asked snickering.  
“I’m Harold Napier. The sly and selfish Harry.”_

_“You don’t know me,” the masked Harry said sorrowfully.  
“I’m Henry Robin. The moral and dutiful Harry.”_

_“You think you know me,” the Gryffindor Harry said bitterly.  
“Because I am Harry Potter. The brave and loyal Harry.”_

_Snape swallowed nervously at the many stares he received from all these different parts of the boy he despised. Two of the Harry’s, the ones that had introduced themselves as Harry Quinn and Harridan Joker grinned as they started approaching. Henry Robin and Harry Potter were scowling, while the Riddle and Napier ones were smirking evilly. This was too much. Whatever Snape had expected to find inside the boy’s mind, this wasn’t it!_

_The man turned on his heels and fled back into the Asylum. He half expected to end up back into the padded cell. Instead, he found himself in an empty room. There was a desk, and a bed-sofa to the side. Sighing, Snape laid down on the sofa and closed his eyes. He needed to get out of the boy’s mind, but how? He was a prisoner inside this strange reality._

_“I fear you are suffering from a strong case of nosiness,” a youthful voice spoke up calmly.  
“This might be caused by that freakishly large nose you have. I would suggest plastic surgery.”_

_Snape tensed and looked over. There, at the desk sat another version of the infuriating brat. This one had blond hair and blue eyes and wore a white lab coat. Snape wouldn’t even have recognized his if it hadn’t been for the scar still etched deep into his forehead. He was holding a clipboard and his face was a mask of professionality. Intense blue eyes glanced over to him over the top of his glasses and the boy smirked._

_“Don’t worry, professor, I know how to treat this. I’ll have you healthy and ready to return to your old life in no time.”_

_With that, the boy pulled out a large syringe and stood up from his seat. Snape’s eyes widened in horror and he tried to move away, but he seemed to be paralyzed._

_“Wh-what’s that?” he asked fearfully._

_“Just something to help you wake up,” the boy replied soothingly.  
“… Barring your memories from in here, of course.”_

_“Who are you?” Snape wanted to know as he tried once again to jerk away._

_“My name is Dr. Hadrian Quinzel,” the boy answered calmly.  
“I’m the deceitful and sadistic Harry. Now lay still, you’re in good hands.”_

_The boy inserted the needle into his professor’s arm and immediately, Snape’s vision started to fade._

*

Snape jerked awake with a shout, looking around himself in bewilderment. To his utter shock, he found himself lying on a hospital bed, in between Potter and the still-petrified Granger. Professor Dumbledore was staring down at him in worry along with Draco, and he could see bright green eyes watching him curiously from the bed next to him.

“Are you alright, Severus?” Dumbledore asked worried.

“I’m perfectly fine. What happened?”

“You fainted,” Quinzel helpfully supplied.  
“Just like that. One moment up, next on the floor.”

“Do you remember what happened, Severus?” Dumbledore asked.

“No. I don’t,” Snape replied eyes narrowing in a glare in Quinzel’s direction.

The boy stared back innocently and cocked his head to the side as if asking him why he was angry. Snape didn’t have an answer. He wasn’t really sure himself anymore why he was so angry at the boy. He really couldn’t remember fainting at all, but he was sure that whatever happened, was the brat’s fault.

.              .              .               .              .

The same day after Harry was finally released from the hospital wing, there was a giant feast held for everyone. The Weasleys of course weren’t present. They all sat at home, mourning their little sister’s death and arranging her funeral. Harry was invited of course, but he was already planning on declining. He never liked Ginny anyway, and he could easily say that he felt too guilty to come.

Harry had been to several Hogwarts feasts, but never one quite like this. Everybody was in their pajamas, and the celebration lasted all night. It started with a minute of silence for Ginny of course, which Harry ruined by sobbing and wailing loudly. Some people, like Snape, glared at him for it, but most seemed to look at him with pity and understanding. One blond girl in Ravenclaw just stared at him the entire time with a completely blank expression, and Harry couldn’t shake the feeling that she _knew_.

Hermione and the other petrified kids were back as well, as Harry could see with Hermione, Colin and Justin being welcomed back cheerfully. Justin even hurried over from the Hufflepuff table to wring his hand and apologize endlessly for suspecting him. To Draco’s great annoyance, Hagrid walked into the Great Hall around half past three, just returning from Azkaban.

“Alright, Harry?” Collin greeted, coming over with his camera again.  
“I heard you fought the Heir all by yourself in the Chamber of Secrets!”

Harry smiled shyly and nodded.

“I still failed though…” he mumbled pouting.

“No! You’re a hero, Harry! I’m sure Ginny would think so too!”

Harry was given 300 house points and a reward for Special Services to the School, ensuring a victory for Slytherin for the second year in a row. But the best part of the whole night was definitely  Professor McGonagall standing up to tell them all that the exams had been canceled as a school treat and  Dumbledore announcing that, unfortunately, Professor Lockhart would be unable to return next year.

“Shame,” Harry said, helping himself to a jam doughnut.  
“He was starting to grow on me.”

“Of course he has,” Draco muttered sulkily.

He’d been acting like that ever since his dad had been sacked as a school governor.

“Cheer up! It was a pretty great year, right?” Harry laughed.

“And now everything will go back to normal minus one annoying Weaslette,” the blond muttered.

Harry smirked darkly and picked up another treacle tart.

“Trust me. ** _Nothing will ever be the same again._** ”

.              .              .               .              .

On the last day of term, only an hour before the Hogwarts Express would be leaving for King’s Cross again, Harry snuck back towards the Chamber underneath his Cloak. Luckily, Myrtle was currently somewhere else, so he didn’t have to deal with her as he jumped down the pipes.

In the large main room, he found Tom sitting on a conjured armchair. A second one stood next to it, already waiting for Harry as it had been for every time Harry visited Tom down here. Tom was watching the sleeping Basilisk, who was curled up next to the statue of Salazar Slytherin along with Malinda, whom Harry had left down there to keep Tom company for the past two weeks.

“I brought you the Cloak,” Harry announced, throwing the silver fabric on Tom’s lap.

Tom simply hummed and looked over to Harry, though the younger teen could see that he wasn’t all their with his mind. Harry just shrugged and walked over to the two snakes. They were both fast asleep. Gently, Harry laid a hand on top of the Basilisk’s great head. The gigantic serpent twitched a little, but its eyes stayed closed. Getting a bit braver, Harry started petting the large being. He grinned and looked over to Tom, but scowled again when he saw the older teen was still completely lost in thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked.

“The diary,” Tom said, his formerly clouded eyes suddenly sharp as he stared intently at Harry.  
“ _My_ diary. Little Ginny had been writing in it for months and months, telling me all her pitiful worries and woes – how her brothers tease her, how she had to come to school with secondhand robes and books, how-” his eyes glinted “-how she didn’t think famous, good, great Harry Potter would ever like her…”

All the time he spoke, Tom’s eyes never left Harry’s face. There was an almost hungry look in them.

“It’s very boring, having to listen to the silly little troubles of an eleven-year-old girl,” he went on.  
“But I was patient. I wrote back. I was sympathetic, I was kind. Ginny simply _loved_ me. ‘ _No one’s ever understood me like you, Tom… I’m so glad I’ve got this diary to confide in… It’s like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket’_ …”

He gave a cold, high laugh and Harry smirked as well. While he was completely focused on Tom, his hand never stopped sliding over the slick, scaled skin of the Basilisk. In fact, the being had moved its head a little to lay in Harry’s lap as he continued petting it.

“If I say it myself, Harry, I’ve always been able to charm the people I needed. So Ginny poured out her soul to me, and her soul happened to be exactly what I wanted… I grew stronger and stronger on a diet of her deepest fears, her darkest secrets. I grew powerful, far more powerful than little Miss Weasley ever was. Powerful enough to start feeding Miss Weasley a few of my secrets, to start pouring a little of my soul back into her…”

“And you made her open the Chamber, I know,” Harry said grinning.  
“She was a stupid little girl to just trust some magical object she doesn’t know anything about.”

“Would you have done better had you not been raised by my brother?” Tom asked amused.

“If I hadn’t been raised by him, I’d still be living with my abusive muggle relatives. If I was still alive at all because uncle Vernon didn’t like me much… So no. I would have been desperate for some friendliness,” Harry admitted.

The two fell silent for a moment and Harry looked back at the large, sleeping serpent on his lap while Tom kept staring at him. Malinda was curled up next to the Basilisk, and the difference in size was pretty hilarious. Malinda was just a small garden snake after all.

“So how did Ginny react when she realized what was going on?” Harry asked.  
“You know, before she threw your diary at Myrtle’s head?”

Tom laughed amused and gave Harry an evil smirk.

 _“Dear Tom,”_ he started reciting in a high girly voice, watching Harry’s amused face.  
_“I think I’m losing my memory. There are rooster feathers all over my robes and I don’t know how they got there. Dear Tom, I can’t remember what I did on the night of Halloween, but a cat was attacked and I’ve got paint all down my front. Dear Tom, Percy keeps telling me I’m pale and I’m not myself. I think he suspects me… There was another attack today and I don’t know where I was. Tom, what am I going to do? I think I’m going mad… I think I’m the one attacking everyone, Tom!”_

The two of them laughed together at that before Tom continued again. Harry had a feeling that the Horcrux liked hearing the sound of his own voice. That was alright to Harry though. Tom had a pretty nice voice and as long as he had something interesting or amusing to say, Harry would listen.

“It took a very long time for stupid little Ginny to stop trusting her diary,” Tom said smirking.  
“But she finally became suspicious and tried to dispose of it. And that’s where you came in, Harry. You found it, and I couldn’t have been more delighted. Of all the people who could have picked it up, it was you, the very person I was most anxious to meet…”

“And why did you want to meet me?” Harry asked curiously.

“Well, Ginny told me all about you,” Tom replied.  
“Your whole fascinating history.”

His eyes roved over the lightning scar on Harry’s forehead, and his expression grew hungrier.

“I knew I had to find out more about you, talk to you, meet you if I could. And then you turned out the way you are…”

“And now you only love me more?” Harry asked teasingly.

“Now you only _fascinate_ me more,” Tom corrected smirking.

“Ah well. Glad to help!” Harry laughed, stretching out.  
“The train leaves in half an hour so we best get going.”

He shimmied out from underneath the Basilisk and walked back towards where Tom was seated before he turned to look back towards the two slumbering snakes and whistled loudly, startling them both awake. The Basilisk hissed annoyed and shook its great head. Harry just smirked.

 ** _*We’re going Malinda,*_** he said.

The snake gave an annoyed hiss that sounded more like a sigh and slithered over to Harry.

 ** _*You could have woken me up nicely, Hatchling,*_** she reprimanded.

**_*But what fun would that be?*_ **

.              .              .               .              .

Harry had requested to sit alone with just the boys in the train this time, and Daphne and Pansy, while a little offended, had left right away. No one wanted to get on the Slytherin King’s bad side, after all. Harry sat next to Draco and was furiously writing in his notebook like he always did, but this time with the comforting warmth of Tom on his other side.

“The Quibbler, anyone?” a dreamy voice spoke up.

Harry looked up and scowled when he saw the blond girl he had also noticed during the feast standing at the door of their compartment with in her arms a stack of magazines. She had startling blue eyes, a lot like Harley did and the same platinum blond hair as Draco. Harry narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her.

“No thanks,” he said.

The girl smiled and nodded before looking at the ‘empty’ spot next to Harry.

“What about your cousin? Does he wants one?” she asked.

Harry tensed and the other three boys scowled confused.

“He might,” Harry said carefully.  
“How much is it?”

“It’s for free,” the girl replied smiling.

Harry nodded and held out his hand to accept a copy of the magazine. His eyes never left the girl’s figure, not even as she waved at him and walked away.

“That girl is mental,” Blaise snickered.

“Sees things, I bet,” Theo added amused.

“… Yeah…” Harry agreed slowly, still staring at the closed door.

Draco was the only one who didn’t say a thing as he stared at Harry with a calculating gaze. He was the only one who knew what hid behind Harry’s mask after all… Or was he? That girl was definitely interesting and Harry would have to look for her the next year to figure out if she was an ally or a threat.

.              .              .               .              .

“Mom! Dad!” Harry called out happily as he saw Joker and Harley stand at the platform dressed up as regular people.

It was still strange to see his dad have a tan and dark brown hair instead of the paper white skin and toxic green hair. At least he still wore his usual suit. His mom had her hair done in two ponytails and wore a tight fitting red shirt with a lot of cleavage and skin tight black leather pants and biker boots.

Next to him, he could hear Blaise whistle appreciatively and he grinned widely, looking back over to his friends. Draco was scowling as he stared at Joker, maybe because their first meeting hadn’t been all that great or because as Tom had explained, he used to write a lot in the diary and even knew what Tom looked like. He probably noticed the similarities now that Joker was in disguise.

“Your mom looks nice,” Theo commented.

“I know,” Harry replied, grinning wider.  
“She’s also a gymnast and knows ten different kinds of Martial Arts, just for the record.”

“We get it,” Blaise muttered, smirking.  
“See you in September, Quinn!”

The three boys all went their own ways and Harry quickly walked up to Harley and Joker. His mom was jumping in happiness and jumped on him the second she had a chance. Hugging him as tightly as she could. Harry grunted in pain.

“I need air to survive, mom!” he cried out.

Joker laughed at the two of them and ruffled Harry’s hair affectionately.

“So, where’s that surprise friend you told us about?” he asked grinning.

“Under the Invisibility Cloak,” Harry replied.  
“You’re here, right Tom?”

“I am.”

The 16 year-old shed the Cloak and handed it back to Harry. He eyed his once-twin with a deep scowl. The Joker just raised a brow and grinned wider at the look he received. He cocked his head, waiting for Tom to say something.

“You seem to have gone even more insane, Jack.”

Joker chuckled, keeping it down only as to not attract too much attention to them.

“Says the one who _split his soul in seven_!” he snickered.  
“Tommy, you always overdo it! **_Even when you’re dead apparently_**.”

Tom scoffed and started walking towards the floo system of the station.

“I need to go the Diagon Alley for a new wand,” he said.

“Yup! He’s my brother alright,” Joker grumbled as he slinked after the handsome teen, scowling.

Harry laughed, his mother soon joining in. Needless to say, everyone was happy as the strange family was transported from the train station through the green flames.

 


	49. Tom's New Wand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Tom/Cecilia, Hetero Sex, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Underage, Solo Harry, Masturbation, Sexual fantasies
> 
> For those of you who can’t remember who Cecilia is, she’s the granddaughter of Lucilla Silvertail, the wandmaker and owner of Silvertail Wands who went to school around the same time as Tom and the Joker. In Harry’s first year, Cecilia was Head Girl and he has a crush on her.
> 
> This chapter exists only out of sexual content very little of plot, so it won’t contribute to the storyline, so if you want, you can skip it altogether, however, I’ll put up a little warning where the sex begins and where it ends. If you read it all, enjoy you perverts!

 

“Let’s go out shopping!” Harley suggested cheerfully.  
“Like a real family! It’ll be fun, right puddin’?”

“Sure,” the Joker replied with a shrug.

“I love it!” Harry exclaimed happily, draping his arms over Tom’s shoulders.  
“You’re coming too, right Tommy? We’re family now.”

“Now that’s a nightmare I hadn’t thought of yet,” Tom muttered lazily, making Harry giggle.  
“But I can’t. Cecilia said she’d come bring my wand today, and I prefer to be here when that happens. I don’t trust the pub owner not to sneak a peek in the package.”

Joker hummed in understanding and stoop up, stretching lazily while giving an obnoxiously loud yawn.

“In that case, it’s just the three of us. Let’s go!” he announced before walking out.

Harry laughed and waved goodbye to Tom before following his dad along with his mom. They wandered around for about half an hour, mostly following Harley around as the blond muggle raced from shop to shop, squealing every time she saw something interesting. They ended up in an animal shop, where Harry’s attention was drawn by a beautiful snow owl sitting on a high perch, staring at him with a knowing gaze in its yellow eyes. Harry almost asked his parents for the bird, but Malinda stirring in his pocket made him change his mind.

“I’m bored. Can I get some money for Honeydukes?” he asked instead.

Joker handed him a few Galleons without a fuss, not taking his eyes off Harley, who was petting a baby Fire Crab. Harry didn’t doubt that Joker was more thinking of a way to steal the bejeweled creature than worrying about a fiery fart reaching Harry’s mom. Harry chuckled a bit as he left quietly before his mom could see him take off.

On his way to Honeydukes, however, he noticed Cecilia rushing past, not even seeing him as a strange glimmer sparkled in her eyes. She was too focused on getting to the Leakey Cauldron, it seemed, if her clutching a small package was anything to go by.

 ***She smells of arousal,*** Malinda commented, sticking her head out of Harry’s pocket.

Harry frowned. She… wanted sex? With who?

Pulling out his Invisibility Cloak, Harry quickly followed after the older girl. He’d been attracted to her since he met her almost two years ago, and he didn’t really like she already had someone. Not that he had expected he’d ever have a chance with a girl six years his senior, but it couldn’t hurt to hope, could it? At least he would find out who he could drive to suicide soon.

He planned on following her to whoever she’d visit after giving Tom his package, but to his surprise, she didn’t leave. She sat down next to Tom at the table in the back and smiled sweetly, which Tom answered with a charming smile of his own.

“You truly have stunning eyes, Cecilia,” Tom spoke smoothly.

Oh… OH! She liked Tom! Whelp, there went his idea of killing the guy. Obviously, he couldn’t kill Tom.

“You’re such a charmer, Tom!” the older girl muttered, blushing.  
“Honestly, I’ve never seen more beautiful and special eyes as your own…”

LIAR! Many people had dark green like Tom. Daphne’s were the same shade as Tom’s, in fact. Harry’s eyes were way more special! Who else had eyes the same color as the killing curse? Even Joker’s poisonous green eyes were more special than Tom’s dark forest green. Cecilia just wanted to fuck Tom, that’s why she said that.

“Thank you,” Tom murmured, dipping his head and giving a shy smile.

Goddamn… he was good! Even Harry couldn’t act that perfectly! No wonder he had been so popular in his own time. Joker had already said everyone used to love Tom, except for Dumbledore, who never trusted Tom. So why did Dumbledore trust Harry when his own game was a lot less flawless? Was he really so blinded by the whole Prophesy? Idiot.

“Let’s take this upstairs, shall we?” Tom suggested.  
“You can show me the new wand, and I’ll show you mine.”

Cecilia blushed again and giggled, allowing Tom to lead her to the room Tom shared with Harry. Harry himself followed as well, snickering a bit as he slipped into the room with the other two. Cecilia seemed to have heard him and tensed, looking around somewhat nervously before turning towards Tom.

“Did you hear something?” she asked.

“No. Are you alright, Love?” Tom replied, looking a bit worried.

He grabbed Cecilia’s hand gently and pressed a kiss on the back of it, looking deeply into the girl’s eyes the whole time. Harry could literally pinpoint the moment Cecilia melted under Tom’s lips. Oh, he was really good.

“Just allow me to take care of you, Love,” he murmured.

“Alright,” Cecilia whispered smiling, wrapping her arms around Tom’s neck.  
“I expect a _very_ good time with a promise like that Tom.”

“In that case, let me show you just how great of a time we can have,” Tom chuckled.

***** Sex Scene *****

Cecilia nodded her head eagerly and let herself be led towards the bed. Tom gently pressed her on her back and crawled over her, trailing kisses from her cheek towards her lips before molding them together. Harry took a position against the wall, facing the side of the bed to make sure he wouldn’t miss any of the action. From where he was seated, he could see Tom’s tongue dip into the girl’s mouth, and she moaned sweetly, grabbing the back of Tom’s head and threading her fingers in his hair. It looked really soft and silky…

One of Tom’s hands slid down Cecilia’s body and hiked her light blue robes up her legs before dipping in and between her legs. This caused the girl to grab his hair tighter and she moaned a bit louder this time. the hand that wasn’t stuck in Tom’s hair moved to his chest and in the front of his robes. She slowly started to pull the dark fabric off Tom’s shoulders, who chuckled and sat up to help her take off a layer of his clothing.

He still wore a two piece suit underneath, as well as a green silk tie. He took that one off himself, taking his time in loosening the knot as he stared down at Cecilia with hooded eyes and a seductive smirk on his lips. Cecilia was breathing hard, staring up at Tom with wide eyes, her pupils blown up so much her irises were nearly completely gone.

Tom leaned down again, latching his mouth onto the girl’s neck, making her whimper a bit while she grabbed his head with both hands, pulling Tom harder against her flesh. A rumbling laugh rose from the male, making Cecilia moan again while he started taking off the blue robes. He only pulled back to take off the girl’s shirt before pausing and chuckling.

“No bra?” teased, making the older girl blush.

Before she could reply, Tom leaned down and took one nipple of her perfectly formed breasts in his mouth and sucked. Cecilia screamed in pleasure, her back arching off the bed and she pulled hard on Tom’s hair again. Harry was staring at the whole thing wide-eyed and breathing heavily. He could feel the beginning of an erection straining against his pants.

He jumped a bit when he felt Malinda creep out of his pocket and move up onto his shoulder. Her tongue flickered out of her mouth and she shivered, her slit pupils widening and becoming almost round. Huh. It seemed even snakes could get aroused when watching humans have sex.

Tom moved away again from Cecilia after a little while, leaving her nipple hard and an angry red. Harry was completely enticed in the wet sheen of saliva on the breast and he felt the urge to lick it off. He shook himself out the trance and instead looked at Tom. Bad idea, as the older teen was undressing calmly. With the squeak coming from the girl on the bed, Harry guessed he wasn’t the only one amazed by the toned, pale chest Tom revealed. Who knew the other male would have such a perfect body? Well, aside maybe for the scars on his back, but Harry had those too. Mostly belt and cane marks, he noticed.

Tom bent down to take off his pants too, and Harry had to hold his hands over his mouth from making any noise in his anticipation. He had snuck in because he was curious, but he was extremely turned on from watching the two of them. Cecilia moaned when Tom stood back up, his long, well-formed member proudly jutting up and pointing at his navel.

Harry looked back over to Cecilia and almost salivated at seeing her completely naked. She was lying on her side, her back turned to Harry, but that just gave him the perfect view of her round, beautiful ass. For the past two years, Harry had been admiring the girl’s amazing curves and soft brown hair, and now he finally hot to see all of her… well, more or less at least, since he still hadn’t properly seen her front.

He could already imagine getting his hands on her, running them all over her naked flesh and making her moan like she did when Tom touched her. His hand moved to his crotch and rubbed his now completely hard dick through his jeans. Harry pressed his other hand against his mouth to keep the groans and moans in when he did so.

He watched through lidded eyes as Tom crawled back on the bed, looking so much like a panther sneaking up on his prey. Once he was on all fours looming over Cecilia, he pulled her over to lie on her back again and he dipped down for a passionate kiss while moving one hand between her legs again.

She moaned loudly, making Harry press the palm of his hand harder against his dick and moan softly with her. He couldn’t really see what exactly Tom was doing, but he had a good guess. Instead, he kept staring at Cecilia’s face, taking in every single one of her reactions and imagining it was him who did that to her.

“So wet for me already,” Tom purred in her ear.  
“Do you want me inside of you, _Cecilia_?”

The way Tom whispered her name made Harry whimper quietly and he couldn’t help but want Tom to say his name like that. The loud moan coming from the girl drowned out Harry’s accidental sound though, so he didn’t need to worry about being heard. And really, he was already too far gone to care much anyway.

Malinda rubbed against his neck and shoulders, very quietly hissing in pleasure. Tom was a Parselmouth, and thus, the small snake couldn’t out her pleasure like she no doubt wanted to. Harry grinned amused. He had a perverted snake, of course he did.

Tom chuckled and sat back up, lifting himself up on his knees a bit as he started jerking himself off. For a split moment, Harry thought Tom was doing it to give Harry a good view, because if he hadn’t sat up, his cock would have been half hidden behind Cecilia’s leg. That thought was almost immediately gone again as he unzipped his own jeans and pulled out his hard little cock. He felt a bit embarrassed, even though no one could see him, about how small his own was compared to Tom, but he knew he was still growing. He was only 12 years old after all. He was perfectly average for his age and height, and he was relatively sure that Tom was too.

He stared in trance as Tom slowly slid in the folds of Cecilia’s pussy, both of them moaning. His own hand closed around his cock as he stared unblinkingly at the sight before him, moaning along with the two older teens as he timed the movements of his hand with Tom’s thrusts.

At first, Harry was imagining himself in Tom’s place. He saw himself, leaning over the beautiful Cecilia, pulling up her legs around his own waist as he buried his cock deep inside her dripping wet womanhood. He’d stare down on her bouncing breast, not even trying to fight the urge to lean down and bite the round, dancing boobs, like Tom now did.

However, watching Tom lick and nip the pink buds on the girl’s chest had Harry reach up to play with his own nipples. He pinched and twisted it, rolling the little nub between his fingers as he imagined himself now in Cecilia’s place, being fucked by Tom. In his new fantasy, he subconsciously let go of his own cock and moved further down. A finger, wet with pre-cum, pressed against his asshole and slowly pressed in to the first knuckle, making Harry whimper softly at the strange feeling.

Cecilia moaned loudly again as Tom sped up, and Harry started twisting the finger inside him with the movements. The hand that had been playing with his chest moved down to grab his cock again, since Tom was no longer playing with Cecilia’s breasts anymore either. He was now completely focused on fucking the girl into oblivion, and so Harry moved with him, pressing his finger in to the second knuckle, slightly wincing at the burn it gave, but ignoring it in favor if the pleasure he got from playing with his dick in his other hand.

Soon, Cecilia reached a new pitch in her moans as she screamed in release, which Tom simply fucked through, not even slowing at all. Harry couldn’t help but moan as he saw the girl tremble in the aftershocks, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her arms clasped around Tom’s shoulders as his hips continued slamming into hers.

She came another two times not long after each other, and Harry came with her that last time, biting his own hand when he spilled his seed into the other, the only sound escaping him a pathetic whimper that was easily drowned out by the loud scream of pleasure from Cecilia.

Not long after, Tom came as well, spilling into the girl with a quiet moan. Harry would have frowned at that, wondered what Tom would do if Cecilia would get pregnant now, but he dismissed the thought when he remembered reading about anticonception potions somewhere this past year. He hadn’t bothered much with it, but he still knew most all the girls of fifteen and up used that potion. Some were even used by boys, to make sure their seed wouldn’t catch and fertilize. Knowing Tom like Harry was sure he did, the other wouldn’t forget to use something like that.

Tom slowly pulled out and laid down on his back next to Cecilia, waving his arm to clean both of them before pulling her in an embrace. Something inside Harry stung painfully. His own orgasm suddenly feeling bittersweet when he saw the two of them looking so peaceful and satiated. He wanted that too, with someone, it didn’t really matter with who.

***** End Sex Scene *****

“That. Was amazing,” Cecilia panted, smiling brightly at Tom before she leaned up and kissed him on the lips.  
“Promise me you come visit me whenever you can, alright?”

“I certainly will,” Tom replied smiling charmingly.  
“Next time I’m in London, your grandmother’s shop will be my first stop. But right now, you better go. My relatives will be back any minute.”

Cecilia smiled and nodded, stealing another lingering kiss before standing up and slowly getting dressed, giving Tom, and unknowingly Harry, a nice show. Both boys watched with hungry eyes as bit by bit, more tantalizing tan skin disappeared behind her layers of clothes. She leaned over the bed one last time to kiss Tom again, playfully swiping her tongue over his lips before she stood up and left the room without another word, a very bright smile lighting up her beautiful face.

“Well, that certainly stays a one-time thing,” Tom mumbled to himself.  
“Too clingy that one. And not interesting enough to put up with it either.”

Harry scowled a bit, watching as Tom put his hands behind his head and stared at the closed door with a bored expression. He had known that Tom had done things like this in the past, and in the future. Now that he knew more about sex, he also understood what the Joker had meant when he said both of them had ‘met’ a lot of women over the years.

“Enjoyed the show, Harry?” Tom asked casually.

Really, Harry wasn’t even surprised the older teen knew he was there. Giggling, he pulled the Cloak down and grinned at Tom, holding up his cum-soaked hand and licking it off. The taste was a bit salty and somewhat bitter. He didn’t really like it much, but he wouldn’t say it tasted bad, per-se. Tom’s eyes darkened at the sight and sat up straight, staring hungrily at Harry.

“Careful, I might think you’re trying to seduce me,” Tom growled.

“I might be,” Harry replied huskily, smirking at Tom.

This summer already promised to be a very interesting one.

 


	50. Birthday Fun

Harry’s birthday came around on a beautiful summer day. The past month, Harry had gotten back into juggling his friends and his criminal career without losing track of his studies. Now Tom also joined him during those times, and he got along well with the Riddler. The two geniuses always found something to talk about in detail, but Tom found he was rather… lacking when it came to computer sciences, much to his annoyance and Harry’s amusement.

Freeze and Tom did nothing but argue though. They just didn’t seem to get on with each other. Neither ever wanted to admit they were wrong in front of the other. And he and Poison Ivy absolutely _despised_ one another. At least he got along with Harry’s closest family… Though he didn’t like Harley very much for being a muggle. He got over that rather quick after seeing her handle Fluffy so fearlessly. It also might have helped that Harley was the one to call back the hyenas when they tried to attack Tom at his first arrival at the house.

Tom’s dislike for pretty much everyone Harry loved made his birthday a bit awkward, as his entire family was present. Even Kate, Jane and little Hailey had come over to celebrate. Tom stayed a bit to the side, talking with the Riddler while the other villains piled their presents for their ‘Chosen One’ as many of them now teasingly called Harry, on a big pile in the back.

“A lot of people came,” Gabe commented casually as he stood next to Harry.

There were a lot of people indeed. Mr. Freeze was talking to Icicle, Two-Face had a conversation with the Penguin while both had brought about five henchmen who were all staring down at each other, trying to be the most intimidating. Ivy and Harley were playing with Hailey along with Kate and Jane was having a drinking contest with Deadshot. There were several others present too, like the Scarecrow, the Mad Hatter, Professor Pyg and Bane. Basically, half Arkham was currently in the room.

“Nice party, Harry!” Camron exclaimed cheerfully, clapping Harry on his back.

“Of course it’s a nice party! Who do you know that is more fun than me?!” Harry scoffed playfully.

“Do you want a list?”

A strong arms wrapped around Harry and pulled him back against a solid chest, making the green haired teen giggle. Harry looked up and grinned at Tom, who looked bored at the other two boys while sipping from a glass of champagne. Camron raised a brow and looked at Harry questioningly, as if asking who the new guy was.

“Cam, meet my cousin, Tom,” Harry introduced them.  
“Tom. This is Camron Mahkent. The son of Icicle over there.”

“Pleasure,” Tom drawled, taking another sip while squeezing Harry closer.

“Actually, it’s Icicle Jr. since last year,” Camron said smirking.  
“After your dad’s little speech on kids being the future during that new year’s party two years back, my dad decided I was old enough to use my abilities.”

“Abilities?” Gabe asked curiously.

Camron smirked and stepped closer to Tom. His pale finger turned blue and as he touched the champagne glass the other teen was holding, the drink inside turned into solid ice. Tom raised a brow and smirked. His own hand started glowing a warm, bright yellow and within a second, the ice had melted again.

“Cute,” he said grinning.

“So you’re a magic user like Harry then,” Camron muttered pouting.

“I am,” Tom agreed with a wide smirk before looking down at Harry.  
“I think I finally found one of your friends that I like. Congratulations.”

“And it’s even better since you’re both the same age!” Harry agreed grinning.

Tom rolled his eyes, but his lips still twitched upwards.

“Happy birthday, Harry,” he said, kissing Harry’s head before walking off again.

“Now let’s get drunk!” Camron cheered.

Bothe Harry and Gabe whooped loudly and the three of them went to the bar to get some alcohol.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was still hungover when his phone rang the next morning. Groggily, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and blindly grabbed for his phone a few times before he was able to get it and press the answer button.

“Hangover central speaking. What can I do you for?” he asked.

_TOOT!!!_

“Holy Hell what the heck!”

A loud horn sound came from the phone, making Harry jump out of his bed in fright. His head was now positively throbbing and it only got worse with the high pitched laughter that now sounded through the speaker.

“Dick!” Harry groaned.  
“You’re such an asshole!”

 _“C’mon, Harry! I couldn’t not!”_ the boy on the other side laughed.  
_“I knew you’d drink yourself under table last night, so I’ve been preparing the best wake-up call ever!”_

“… I hate you…” Harry grumbled spitefully.

“What’s with all the noise at 6 in the morning?” Tom asked walking into Harry’s room.

“Dick thought it would be fun to split my head in two,” Harry muttered in reply.

“Who’s Dick?” Tom asked annoyed at the same time as Dick’s curious voice asked: _“Who’s that?”_

“Tom’s my cousin and Dick’s my best friend,” Harry replied to the both of them at once.

 _“Really!? Can I meet him?”_ Dick asked enthusiastic.

“Please tell me I don’t have to meet him,” Tom said.

“We’ll see how everything goes,” Harry sighed, rubbing his temples as he tried to elevate his headache.  
“But first, I want to go back to bed and sleep the whole day…”

 _“Oh I don’t think so!”_ Dick laughed.  
_“You promised to spend the whole day with me, remember?”_

Harry groaned.

“But does the day have to start at 6?” he asked.

_“Of course not! Don’t be silly!”_

Harry closed his eyes and sighed in relief.

_“It starts at 6:15. I’ll be waiting at the diner with a nice big breakfast!”_

With that, Dick hung up, leaving the echoes of his laughter hang in the air in Harry’s room.

“Sometimes I really hate him, you know,” Harry told Tom matter-of-factly.

Slowly, he crawled out of bed and grabbed his clothes before getting in a nice hot shower. For about 5 minutes before Tom barged in and dragged him out.

“Your friend is waiting, Harry dear,” he said gleefully.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Harry asked spitefully.  
“This is you trying to kill me, isn’t it? After all I did for you!”

“What’s with all the noise!” Joker yelled annoyed.

Both he and Harley had gotten pretty drunk yesterday too, and it was clear with how Joker looked at the moment that he might actually be more hungover than Harry. He had large bags under his eyes as he glared at the teens and he was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers… Inside out.

“I’m meeting up with Dick,” Harry said.

“This early?” Harley asked shrilly, stumbling out of the master bedroom in a sheet.

“Oh good Chaos! Have you two been going at it again?!” Harry exclaimed.  
“You’re worse than teenagers! And I should know. I’m a teenager and a virgin.”

“Your thirteen,” Tom muttered, rolling his eyes.

Harry rolled his eyes and glared at the older teen.

“And how old where you when you lost _your_ virginity?” Harry asked.

“Thirteen,” Joker replied smirking.

Tom blushed and looked away with a scowl.

“If you’re going, take Tom with you,” Joker said before he pushed Harley back into their shared room and closed it behind himself with a loud bang.

“What am I? A bloody dog?” Tom huffed annoyed.

Harry laughed and leaned up to scratch Tom behind his ear.

“C’mon boy! Time for your walkies!” he snickered.

Tom growled annoyed and slapped Harry’s hand away.

“I’m not going to play babysitter for you and your muggle friend!” he hissed.

“You will if you want to live here!” Joker called through the closed door.

“I prefer being homeless!”

“Then be fucking homeless!”

Harry watched innocently as Tom sighed in defeat and glared at him.

“Let’s just get going already and have this over with quick.”

.              .              .               .              .

Dick was grinning brightly as Harry and Tom walked into the diner and he jumped up eagerly.

“So this is your cousin?” he asked eagerly.  
“Nice to meet you! I’m Dick Greyson!”

“Pleasure,” Tom drawled sarcastically.

“He doesn’t want to be here!” Harry fake whispered.

Dick scowled confused and looked over to Harry before leaning closer.

“So why is he here?” he fake whispered.

“Because _he_ wasn’t given much of a choice,” Tom sneered.

Harry and Dick looked at each other, blinked, looked over to Tom, blinked again and leaned closer to each other.

“I think he can hear us,” Harry whispered loudly.

“Weird!” Dick said wide-eyed.

Tom crossed his arms and huffed annoyed.

.              .              .               .              .

After breakfast, Dick took Harry and Tom to the skating rink. The two thirteen year-olds had a lot of fun together, but Tom wasn’t even close to being entertained. He didn’t want to admit it, but Harry was really sure he’d seen the sixteen year-old pouting.

“C’mon! Have some fun, Tommy!” Harry laughed, skating circles around the older teen.

“Don’t call me that,” Tom grumbled.

“Then what do you want me to call you?” Harry asked amused.  
“Marvolo? That sounds like a washing detergent!”

He gave a thoughtful hum and tapped his chin before he brightened up.

“I know! I can call you Junior!” he said cheerfully.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Junior?” Dick asked curiously as he stopped next to Harry.

“Yeah! It’s part of his name. Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr.!” Harry replied.

“And I thought Richard was bad,” Dick snickered.

Harry laughed at the furious look on Tom’s face and started skating again.

“C’mon, Junior! Let’s have a race!”

“I will strangle you,” Tom muttered under his breath.

Harry was too far away to hear, but Dick was still standing next to Tom and scowled.

“Hey! That’s not very nice of you,” he pointed out teasingly.

.              .              .               .              .

“Harry! Dick!” Bette exclaimed happily as the trio walked into the park to where they would be meeting Dick and Harry’s friends.

The blond girl pounced on Harry immediately and caught the dark haired boy in a tight hug. Harry laughed happily and hugged her back just as enthusiastically.

“Bette! I missed you so much!” he shouted.

Dick, meanwhile, walked over to where Barbara and Gabe were sitting and gave the red haired girl a hug too. When Harry and Bette were done hugging, the green eyed boy walked over to Barbara.

“Give me a big smooch babe!” he exclaimed, tutting his lips.

Barbara hissed and jabbed Harry in the ribs.

“Touch me and die, Riddle,” she growled, but she was smiling.

Harry had doubled over and was groaning in pain, but soon straightened up and looked confused at Barbara.

“What did Tom do?” he asked.

Barbara’s play-angry expression melted away in confusion while Bette looked at Tom with curious eyes. Gabe and Dick shared a knowing grin.

“Guys! Meet Harry’s mean cousin Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr.!” Dick exclaimed.

“Long name,” Bette whistled.

“Pretentious name, more like,” Barbara muttered.

Tom raised a brow and grinned nastily at the redhead.

“You know, you remind me of that girl in Harry’s school,” he said.  
“You remember her, don’t you Harry? The one that died two months ago? She had the same age as your friend here too.”

Harry rolled her eyes while Barbara paled at the implications.

“Poor girl,” Harry sighed pouting at Tom.  
“You and her were pen-pals after all.”

“What happened to her?” Dick asked shocked.

“Snake attack,” Tom said, smirking.

“And a big one too! the whole school was in a panic!” Harry exclaimed wide-eyed.  
“Ginny Weasley wasn’t the only one attacked, but the only one who died, luckily. She had six older brothers. A real tragedy.”

“Well that’s one way to make birthday celebrations depressing,” Gabe muttered, glaring at Harry and Tom.

“I’m sorry, I’m too hung up on having to deal with _two_ Riddles from now on,” Barbara grumbled.

Tom rolled his eyes and glared at the redhead.

“I have more right on that name than Harry does,” he said.  
“ _He_ is adopted and _I_ am not.”

“And I bet you used to be really bitter about that,” Harry teased.

 


	51. Like a Virgin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Tom/Harry, MalexMale, Gay Sex, Anal Sex, Rough Sex, Underage, Sadist Tom, Masochist Harry, First Time
> 
> Like the other sex chapter, the explicit scene can be skipped if you don’t want to read about it. This is important to the plot of the story, however.

 

It was a hot, lazy day that Harry found himself all alone in the early morning. Dick had called yesterday that he wouldn’t be able to meet up until the afternoon and Gabe had been send with Harley to Metropolis, leaving Harry with very little options to do, especially since he deemed it too hot to practice just about anything. Gotham had been hit by a heatwave at the start of August, and even a week later, it was still going full force.

At first, he tried to read in his Necromancy book since he was still unable to pretty much do anything but animate dead rodents. An army of zombie rats had been funny, especially when he set them on the Black Mask. Four of the mafia boss’ men had died of infection after being bitten. Unfortunately, none of them came back as zombies like Harry had hoped.

“Ugh!” he groaned, putting the book down.

It was too warm to read! He couldn’t even concentrate for the life of him. He glanced at the clock and groaned again. Only 9 am and already nothing to do…

Harry, extremely bored already, decided to go bother Tom. The older teen was sitting over some papers, which, on closer inspection appeared to be enrolling papers for Durmstrang, making Harry raise a brow in surprise.

“Going to Durmstrang?” he asked.

“I need a diploma, and Durmstrang is ranking very high in the International Wizarding School Ratings,” Tom replied calmly, not looking up.

Harry sighed, already gotten bored halfway the explanation and he planted himself on the table, right on top of Tom’s papers, causing the older teen to glare at him in annoyance.

“Play with me,” he said, looking at Tom innocently.

With a deep scowl, Tom shoved the younger teen to the ground and tried to gather his papers again.

“Go annoy your muggle friend,” he snarled.

This had Harry scowl deeply and he glared at Tom. That had sounded almost bitter, which was a little odd to Harry, but he shrugged it off. Then suddenly, he thought of something and his expression morphed to teasing smugness.

“But shouldn’t I bring my babysitter~?” he asked.  
“That’s why dad hired you to do, right? Keep an eye on his _son. Me._ ”

Tom’s eyes narrowed dangerously and Harry laughed mockingly, smirking at Tom.

“That’s all you are around here anyway,” he taunted.  
“You’re jealous because people here respect and love me, but they only see you as a high school dropout who has to get by with babysitting and fucking wealthy women.”

“Shut up!” Tom snarled and gripped Harry’s arm.

The younger teen just grinned widely, leaning into the touch even as he felt nails digging in and piercing his skin. He didn’t really care for pain much. It just made everything more real, more _exciting_.

“That all you got, Tommy?” he taunted.

“ ** _Shut up_** _!_ ”

“Make me.”

Tom’s eyes narrowed in anger and shoved Harry to the ground. Harry laughed as his ass hit the hard floor, killing curse green eyes staring up into darker, forest green as he did, and it only made the older teen angrier. Harry loved the anger and hatred burning in those eyes, the sneer that was directed at him. Emotions like those were bigger, better _, interesting_ , compared to happiness or sadness. No, anger was the one true emotion that Harry liked best to see aimed at him.

“You’re pathetic,” Tom sneered.

“So you say,” Harry teased with a chuckle.  
“But that’s not all you think of me, is it? I can see it in your eyes.”

It was true. There was something else burning in that dark, almost black, green. Something hidden, and Harry wanted to rip it to the front, lay it bare in front of him and _use_ it. He only had to discover what it was, and then he’d won.

At least, that was what he believed, but the dark smirk that crossed Tom’s features made a small sliver of doubt enter his mind. The older teen bent down, kneeling over Harry as he pressed his hand into the boy’s shoulders, forcing him to lay on his back as he crawled on all fours over him. Their closeness caused Harry to sweat as Tom’s body heat was added to the already simmering heat of the air.

“You want to know what I’m thinking?” he whispered in Harry’s ear.

Harry swallowed, nervous for the first time in a very long time. There was something in Tom’s expression that promised dark and painful things, and Harry shivered in anticipation. Still, or maybe just because of that, he nodded his head. Tom chuckled and licked Harry’s ear, making the thirteen year old jump in surprise.

“I’m thinking of fucking you right here on the floor,” Tom whispered huskily.  
“Force you down and rip your virginity from you with as much violence that even you can’t imagine worse.”

Again, Harry swallowed a lump down. Fear was steadily growing in his chest, but so was excitement. The mixture of feelings that coursed through him at the moment were more than he had felt in a long time. He felt so incredibly _alive_ , and he didn’t want the feeling to go away. The fear he felt added goosebumps and a cold sensation inside him that finally cooled down the hot air burning him since he woke up.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he whispered back.

*****        Sex Scene           *****

Tom threw his head back and laughed sadistically. After a few seconds, he looked back down at Harry and grabbed his already bruised and bleeding arm, using it to force the boy on his stomach, pinning the arm on his back, making sure to pull on it hard enough to dislocate his shoulder. Harry grunted in pain, wincing just the tiniest bit, but he was used to pain, and wasn’t planning on giving Tom the satisfaction of hearing him cry out.

“Keep trying to keep your voice down. It’ll be more fun to force it out of you,” Tom snickered from behind him.

The older teen didn’t waste any time in ridding Harry of his pants and underwear. Soon, the soft, warm breeze of the hide out his bare ass, making Harry giggle like a little kid and he wiggled his butt invitingly, teasing Tom a bit more.

He yelped when Tom slapped it hard and looked over his shoulder, scowling as Tom smirked down at him. He huffed in annoyance, groaning as the second slap hit his ass.

“Just get on with it you bastard!” he growled.  
“My mom can spank harder than that anyway.”

Tom just chuckled again and grabbed Harry’s hips with both hands, forcing him on his knees before moving his grip to the boy’s cheeks and spread them. Harry blushed in shame, knowing his most private parts were now out in the open for the other to see, but he pushed the emotion down.

 ** _*Scared, Hatchling?*_** Tom hissed in parseltongue.

 ** _*Never. Just do it already!*_** Harry hissed back.

This earned him another slap on the ass and he moaned, his dick was slowly hardening under him from the painful attention he’d been receiving. He spread his legs, trying to get in a more comfortable position for what was about to come, only to groan as he accidentally moved his injured arm.

Tom hummed and removed his right hand from Harry’s ass. The young boy jumped a bit when he felt Tom spit on his hole and one finger quickly pressed against it, slowly entering. Harry winced at the burn, but it wasn’t too bad, so he tried to relax and allow the digit access to his insides. Before he could get used to the feeling of something inside of him, another finger was added. Harry bit his lip to keep quiet, now in slightly more pain than before. It was uncomfortable, but he always had liked a bit of discomfort.

Tom started scissoring his fingers, stretching Harry a bit more. He pressed his fingers in as deep as they could go before twisting them around and pulling them back out. When he pushed in for a third time like that, Harry let out a startled moan, his hips jerked as he tried to press the fingers in deeper into himself. Tom chuckled and pulled his fingers out completely.

“More!” Harry growled, pushing his ass up higher.

Tom just slapped him again, making Harry yelp in surprise a second time that night. Tom chuckled again and leaned back, taking his time in pulling down the zipper of his own slacks and taking out his erection. He was almost completely hard. He spat in his hand and jerked himself a few times until he was at full hardness. After that, he grabbed Harry’s hip with one hand, using the other to line himself up with the clenching virgin hole of the young teen and slammed inside in one go.

Harry screamed in agony, and even Tom grunted in pain at the incredible tightness. He had purposefully not prepared Harry enough, and the lack of proper lubrication only intensified the feeling. He grinned – more of a grimace with the pain he was in as Harry clenched even harder to get rid of the intrusion. He was sweating already, the warmth of Tom’s body on top of him made his entire body burn like fire.

Slowly, he started pulling back out until only the head of his penis was still inside. He waited for a little moment until Harry had prepared himself a bit more about what was to come next before thrusting back in just as roughly as the first time. Harry keened, but seemed to take it a bit better than the first thrust. Tom grinned and quickly set a fast, bruising pace. Before long, Harry’s insides became slick with blood as the walls of his ass tore from the too large intrusion penetrating him too quick and too rough.

For the longest time, the only sounds that could be heard were the slapping of skin on skin, the pleasured grunts of Tom and the pained groans of Harry. That changed the moment Tom hit Harry’s prostate and the young boy moaned loudly. The older teen angled his thrusts so he’d nail the little spot every time and soon he had Harry moaning and screaming like a whore.

Tom laughed and grabbed Harry by the hair, pulling his upper body against his as he fucked the younger teen in the new position. Harry’s eyes were closed tightly and his mouth wide open as he kept moaning in pleasure and pain. Tom grinned and his hand still resting on Harry’s hip traveled upwards and underneath the boy’s shirt where he started scratching deep red welts in his chest. This caused Harry to shiver and press his ass back against Tom’s hips. His dislocated arm was hanging limply to his side, while his other hand moved towards his own dripping erection and grabbed hold of it.

“The picture of a perfect whore,” Tom whispered in his ear, making Harry groan loudly in arousal.

It only took a few jerks for Harry to come spilling into his own hand with a loud moan. Tom let go of the boy’s hair again immediately after, moving both his hands back on his hips as he let the teen fall back onto the cold floor. Harry barely had time to catch himself with his good hand before he face planted.

Another few deep thrusts had Tom reaching his own peak and he spilled himself deep into Harry’s ass. Harry tensed at the feeling of the soaring heat, like lava, scorching his insides and moaned quietly in discomfort. Instead of immediately pulling out, Tom leaned over Harry’s sweat soaked back and pressed his lips against the boy’s ear. Harry tensed up but didn’t move away.

“Did I keep my promise?” Tom asked softly.

“Yeah,” was the breathless reply.

Tom laughed mockingly and pulled away. His limp dick falling out of Harry’s soaked ass as he stood up. Tom pulled his pants back on after a quick cleaning charm on himself. He glanced down at the Harry. The boy was curled up on the cold floor, shivering and leaking cum and even a little blood from his backside. His own cock stuck to his thigh, glued there by drying come.

“You fucking came inside of me,” Harry accused quietly, not opening his eyes.

Tom rolled his eyes and cast a cleaning charm on Harry.

“Get dressed and get out, brat,” he hissed annoyed.

Harry’s eyes snapped open and he glared at Tom, though there was no strength behind it, only tiredness. Slowly, Harry stood up, groaning in pain as he moved. He grabbed his dislocated shoulder, forcefully shoving it back in place before he pulled his pants and underpants back up and limped out of the room.

*****        End Sex Scene   *****

.              .              .              .              .

Dick frowned when Harry walked up to him at their meeting spot in the park. It was barely visible, but Dick prided himself in knowing Harry better than anyone else, so well even, that he could easily see there was something off on his way of walking. Like he was in pain.

Still, Harry was grinning as he reached his friend, like he was always doing. Dick shook off his worried for a short moment to hug his friend as he finally reached him and they both sat down. His worries came back twofold when he saw how carefully Harry moved down. The boy even winced a bit when his ass finally landed on the grass.

“Did you get spanked or something?” Dick asked frowning.

Harry laughed loudly and gave Dick a crooked grin.

“There was some spanking involved, yes,” he said cryptically.

Dick rolled his eyes and moved one hand in front of Harry’s face, catching his friend’s attention. While Harry was distracted, Dick snuck his other hand behind Harry and squeezed his butt, making the other yelp in surprise and pain.

“Stop being so secretive and tell me!” Dick demanded.

“Meany,” Harry pouted, rubbing his sore ass.  
“But if you really want to know, I’m a virgin no longer!”

His friends eyes widened in surprise and Harry laughed amused.

“You had sex? With a guy?” Dick asked shocked.

Harry scowled and looked at Dick inquisitively.

“How’d you know it was a guy?” he asked surprised.

“Because your ass his hurting, genius,” Dick snorted.

Harry blushed and chuckled weakly, making Dick laugh and squeeze his ass again. Harry yelped again and jump a bit. He glared at him angrily, making Dick grin innocently and hold both his hands up in the air.

“Wanna tell me who it was?” Dick asked curiously.

“Remember Tom?” Harry replied with a grin, which widened when he saw Dick’s eyes widen.

“You’re cousin?!” the other teen exclaimed shocked.

“We’re not technically related,” Harry shrugged chuckling.

“I know, but you were fighting last time!” Dick said wide-eyed.  
“And… how old is he anyway? Is he still even in high school?!”

“He’s 16, turns 17 on New Year’s Eve,” Harry replied smug.

“… That’s not as bad as I imagined,” Dick admitted with a smile.  
“So, are you two dating or something?”

“Nope!” Harry laughed.  
“We’re just doing it. Why? You jealous?”

“Green with jealousy,” Dick teased.

Dick sat on his knees in front of Harry and put his hands on the other’s shoulders, leaning forward until they were almost kissing. Harry blushed.

“Can you blame me?” Dick whispered softly.  
“Tom is really good-looking after all…”

“Dick, you bully!” Harry complained, swatting his laughing friend away.

Dick went to lay on his back, still laughing in amusement. Looking at him, Harry couldn’t help but chuckle as well and he moved to lay down next to his friend.

“But seriously. If you’re happy, then I’m happy,” Dick said, looking at his friend.  
“I don’t really like Tom. He’s mean, but if you like him, then I’ll do my best to like him too.”

Harry laughed and rolled on top of Dick. The other didn’t try to push him off, instead, he just smiled up at Harry.

“Maybe one day we can make it a threesome,” Harry teased.

“Keep dreaming, Harry!” Dick laughed, pushing the other off.

For a while, the two friends lay on the grass, watching clouds trek by in a comfortable silence. After about fifteen minutes, Dick turned on his side and rested his head on his arm, staring at Harry. The other boy turned his head to look back and smiled.

“When are you leaving again?” Dick asked quietly.

“In two weeks,” Harry replied in a soft whisper.

“Maybe we should do something special before you go,” Dick decided.

Harry sat up and looked down at his friend curiously.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Like a sleepover!” Dick said cheerfully, sitting up as well.  
“You and Gabe should come over to my place next week! We’ll have so much fun!”

“Maybe we can have that threesome we talked about,” Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Dick scoffed and swatted at Harry, who laughed and dodged.

“Annoying pervert!” Dick grumbled half-heartedly.

Harry just laughed harder at that.

 


	52. Sleepover

“JACK!”

Harry almost fell off the balance beam when he heard the loud scream run through the house. Harley frowned as well and paused in scratching Fluffy’s belly. The family had gone out on a practice run with the Cerberus yesterday. The three headed dog had done a perfect job scaring the security of the bank as well as the police force that had come to try and stop them. Even Batman hadn’t been able to do much against the giant Cerberus.

Thanks to that, they were now a few grand richer and Joker had decided that, as a little reward, Fluffy would get his own room in the house with a magically enlarged dog bed, a horse trough for food and three dinosaur bones stolen from the museum to chew on. He still had to share with Harley’s hyenas though, who had their own beds in the corner of the room.

“WHAT?!” Joker screamed in return.

Harry walked out of the training room, looking curiously for the two screaming men. His mom was following after him. They found Tom looking through several different papers with a deep scowl marring his features while Joker stomped into the room from the bathroom.

“You said you still had my OWL results. I need them for my application to be legit,” Tom said scowling.

“They’re supposed to be somewhere,” the Joker replied with a shrug.

“You mean you aren’t ready yet?!” Harry asked shocked.  
“We’re leaving in two days! I thought you were the smart one!”

“I _thought_ Jack had them at hand,” Tom replied with a frown.

“You should know better than trust me like that, Tommy! HAH!” Joker laughed.

“I learned my lesson,” Tom sneered.

“We’ll help ya find them! Right, Harry?” Harley spoke up smiling.  
“I think I remember some old boxes in the basement.”

“They could also still be at the warehouse,” Joker said, tapping his chin.

Both Harry and Tom groaned at that and the youngest of the two pouted.

“I’ll go look there before going to Dick’s,” he muttered.

“I’ll go with ya, baby!” his mom exclaimed cheerfully.

.              .              .              .              .

There were a lot of old boxes stashed in the basement of the hideout and Harry was glad that Gabe had offered his help to look through them. And with offered help (read: that Harry had dragged Gabe down there against his will after the older teen asked what he was looking for).

“This is boring and we’re going to be late for Dick’s sleepover!” Harry whined as he shoved the fifth box to the side.

Gabe sighed and nodded in agreement as he dragged another box towards himself. While Harley just laughed.

“It’s not that bad, hun!” she said cheerfully.  
“A little family time for me and my baby!”

“I wouldn’t call this family time,” Harry muttered.  
“Going into town and blowing stuff up is way more fun!”

He stopped complaining when he found a brown envelope with the word OWLS written in his dad’s barely readable scrawl. He grinned in victory and held it over his head.

“Found it!” he shouted.  
“Now let’s see how well they did…”

Harley and Gabe walked over and leaned over Harry’s shoulders to look with him.

*

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY  
Schoolyear 1942 – 1943  
OWL Results for Tom Marvolo Riddle

ARITHMANCY                                                                                       O

ASTRONOMY                                                                                        O

CHARMS                                                                                               O

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS                                                      O

DIVINATION                                                                                          O

HERBOLOGY                                                                                         O

HISTORY OF MAGIC                                                                              O

POTIONS                                                                                              O

STUDY OF ANCIENT RUNES                                                                   O

TRANSFIGURATIONS                                                                             O

*

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY  
Schoolyear 1942 – 1943  
OWL Results for Jack Morfin Riddle

ASTRONOMY                                                                                         P

CARE FOR MAGICAL CREATURES                                                            A

CHARMS                                                                                                E

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS                                                       E

HERBOLOGY                                                                                          P

HISTORY OF MAGIC                                                                               D

POTIONS                                                                                               O

STUDY OF ANCIENT RUNES                                                                    A

TRANSFIGURATIONS                                                                              A

*

“Huh. I’m kind of disappointed in Tom’s…” Harry muttered pouting.  
“There is no way I can tease him when he only has top grades for everything.”

.              .              .              .              .

“So what’re we going to do?” Gabe asked as he, Harry and Dick lay down on Dick’s bed.

“We could see a scary movie,” Dick suggested.  
“Bruce took away the horrors, but I bet we can find something.”

“Why did he do that?” Harry asked shocked, lifting his head.

Dick rolled over and grinned at his friend.

“Because last time you tried to reenact Amityville Horror,” Dick replied dryly.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” Harry countered innocently.

“You slept in the basement and chased me around with a kitchen knife!”

Gabe raised a brow at that and Harry laughed loudly. With a huff, Dick pushed Harry off the bed, making the youngest teen yelp and groan in pain.

“Hey!”

“Bruce was _not_ happy that you threw a vase at him,” Dick said.

“At least it wasn’t his precious Ming Vase,” Harry puttered pouting.

Gabe laughed loudly when Dick growled and jumped on top of Harry. The two dark haired boys wrestled for a while until Harry suddenly kicked Dick in the gut hard enough to make him roll off him with a shout of pain and sat up with a bright grin.

“I know what we can do!” he shouted happily.

“Kill me?” Dick spat sarcastically.

“Don’t be ridiculous! We can go out and scare the living daylight out of people!”

Gabe was immediately interested and even Dick, while still clearly in pain, started grinning too.

“What did you have in mind?” Gabe asked curiously.

Harry’s eyes sparkled with mischief and he looked back over to Dick.

“Do you still have those clown costumes we made together for that party we crashed last summer?”

.              .              .              .              .

A woman ran off screaming from the three teens dressed as creepy murder clowns. Both Dick and Gabe were holding toy guns while Harry danced around cackling with a fake bloody knife in hand. They were quite obviously fake, however since it was already dark, no one could really see.

“Watch out Gotham! If I don’t make you laugh, I’ll make you bleed!” Harry shouted, cackling sinisterly.

“Hold it right there!” Dick shouted, jumping in front of a young woman.  
“You’re too pretty too live in my town!”

The gun went off with a loud bang and the woman fainted on the spot. Dick laughed and danced away, holding hands with Harry. Gabe lagged behind a bit, smiling fondly as he stared at the two of them. He was really happy he could call Harry ad Dick his friends after all.

“Let’s rob the candy store!” Harry shouted eagerly.

“We’re not actually going to rob it, right?” Dick asked.

“At least let them think we are!” Gabe laughed as he caught up with the duo.

The three friends laughed and ran over to where the candy store was. They were having so much fun!

.              .              .              .              .

Harry had taken up his mouth harmonica again while the three friends were stuck in jail. Other than last time he had gotten Dick arrested, the other boy wasn’t really upset. He had gotten his hands on a cup and was clinking it against the bars at the rhythm of Harry’s ‘Prison Blues’ while Gabe sat in the back, tapping his foot and humming along.

“Why is it always when we plan something fun, you land us here?” Dick asked suddenly.

Harry stopped playing his harmonica and glared at his friend.

“It’s the _second_ time!” he shot back pouting.

Dick grinned and stuck out his tongue before he went back to playing with the cup. He only stopped again when the door opened and Tom and Bruce walked in along with a police officer. Harry brightened up right away and pressed himself against the bars with a happy squeal.

“Tom! You came to save me~!” he cried out.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Tom drawled in a bored tone.  
“Honestly, I think you deserve a few nights in here, but your parents send me over to pay the bail money.”

“Yay~”

The officer opened the cell door and Harry skipped out before jumping Tom and wrapping his arms around the older teen’s neck.

“I knew you loved me!” Harry exclaimed dramatically.

“Get off me, Harry,” Tom hissed, pushing him off.

“Hey!”

Harry looked back over and saw that Dick had rejoined a very upset looking Bruce, but the officer had closed the door again before Gabe could get out the holding cell. Harry looked up confused at Tom, who was smirking nastily at Gabe.

“Sorry. Just Harry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all.

Bruce sighed and turned to the officer.

“I’ll pay his bail too,” he said.

While Bruce went back to the office along with Dick to pay for Gabe’s bail as well, Tom grabbed Harry’s elbow and dragged him out into the street. Harry just laughed and whistled while he walked until they arrived back home. Neither Harley or the Joker were there.

“So how did your application for Durmstrang go?” Harry asked as he threw himself on the couch.

“It went well, of course,” Tom replied calmly, pushing Harry’s feet off and sitting down next to him.  
“They saw my OWL’s, after changing the dates and my name obviously, and were ecstatic to have me.”

“So when’re you leaving?” Harry asked.

Tom chuckled and leaned over Harry.

“Wanting to get rid of me already?” he asked smirking.  
“You seemed to like me well enough two nights ago…”

Harry grinned and leaned up until their faces were only inches from each other.

“I like you when you’re using your dick instead of being one,” Harry teased.  
“And I was just curious. No need to get your panties in a bunch, princess.”

Tom rolled his eyes and sat back.

“I’ll be going with you and Jack to London and take the international floo at Platform 9 ¾ to Norway,” Tom explained.  
“Durmstrang students have another week before their classes start so it’s been decided that I play house with you a bit longer.”

“It must really sting not to be in control anymore, right Tommy?” Harry said smirking.

Tom sneered annoyed and grabbed Harry’s arm, pulling him back up in a sitting position.

“How about you stop talking and repay me for getting you back?” he asked.

“You got me out with my dad’s money,” Harry shot back.  
“But I’m bored, so why the hell not. Let’s go to my room.”

 


	53. An Eventful Trainride

“See you around Christmas, hun!” Harley said, kissing Harry’s cheek.

The dark haired teen grinned at his parents and a blond haired, blue eyed Tom and waved before hopping on the train. Draco was waiting outside for once and had stiffly greeted Harry’s family. It had gotten especially awkward when Tom told him he’d missed him the past few years, but Draco had bravely lifted his chin and had simply congratulated Tom on getting out the diary.

“I had a feeling that you lied about defeating him,” Draco muttered as they walked towards the compartment where their friends would already be seated.

“I warned you about that little habit of mine!” Harry laughed, playfully bumping against the blond.

When they arrived, everyone else was already there. Daphne, Pansy, Blaise and Theo all smiled at the arriving duo and Harry quickly sat down next to Daphne while Draco sat on his other side against the window.

“How was everyone’s summer?” Harry asked pleasantly.

“Not that special,” Blaise shrugged.  
“We went to Spain for my stepfather’s funeral and then we stayed there for a few weeks enjoying the sun and beach. Mother already found another lover, but I don’t think she’ll marry him this time.”

“We went to Greece for the summer,” Daphne said smiling.  
“Mother and Astoria love it there for the ancient ruins and whatnot. I liked the beach and the handsome men better.”

“There’s a shocker,” Draco mumbled, rolling his eyes.

Daphne glared at him for a moment before huffing and turning away with a pout.

“My family went with Draco’s to our shared vineyard in France,” Pansy spoke up eagerly.

“How cute!” Harry gushed teasingly.  
“Did you taste the wine? Did you fuck?”

The entire conversation fell quiet and Pansy blushed in embarrassment while Draco slapped Harry in the back of his head.

“Of course not! We’re only 13!” he hissed.  
“Besides, my parents are trying to get a contract with Daphne or Astoria.”

“… So you’re going to be a virgin until you get married?” Harry asked.  
“Is that still how it works for you guys? Huh… Old fashioned, but I’ll respect it.”

“It’s not how it works,” Theo denied with a shake of his head.  
“Actually, it’s a tradition in Slytherin to have sex to gain a better position within the House.”

Harry hummed in thought and nodded. That was very interesting. Since he was now the ‘King’ he would imagine he’d be the favorite choice by the end of the year. With a bit of luck, he’d never have to get himself off again.

“Does this conversation have anything to do with your summer, Quinn?” Blaise asked smirking.

“Of course not!” Harry laughed.  
“My summer was completely uneventful.”

“Somehow I don’t believe you,” Blaise drawled.

Harry smirked and grabbed his bag, letting Malinda out before he pulled out a bottle of straight absinthe. While his friends watched him dubiously, Harry took a big swig and grinned at them.

“Want a taste?” he asked.

Everyone shook their heads, making Harry chuckle and shrug his shoulders.

“Suite yourselves,” he muttered, putting the bottle on the small table.

The train jerked suddenly and they all looked to the window, which was fogging up.

"Why are we stopping?" Pansy asked as Harry stood slowly.  
"We can't be there yet."

Harry slid the door open and looked out into the corridor, just like every other student on the train. The locomotive was jerked once more and Harry fell back into the compartment and into his seat with a thump. The door slid closed on its own. Harry winced as a dull pain in his ass, made itself known. They needed better cushioning for the seats, really. Well, that or Tom shouldn’t have fucked him so roughly that morning, but he liked that too much to give it up.

"I don't know," Draco said in answer to Pansy’s question.  
"Maybe we've broken down."

Just then, the lights went out, leaving them in darkness. Pansy let out a yelp.

"Ouch! Blaise, that's my foot!"

The lights flickered on and off as they could see Draco pressed against the window.

"There's something moving out there!" he squeaked in fear.

Once again, the lights disappeared and they were plunged into darkness.

"I think... I think someone's coming aboard!" Draco wailed in a whisper.

Harry's breath came out in a puff of white air as the air suddenly froze over. Something white crept along the window and Draco gulped. Ice. The entire train was moved once more and they all grasped their seats in worry.

The bottle of liquor that was resting by the window, froze immediately and Harry put his hands together to try to conserve his warmth. His breath was visible in big, white puffs. Pansy gave a yell when the train moved again, knocking her into Blaise.

"Bloody hell! What's happening?!"

Harry's attention was drawn to a shadow that was passing by the door. He did not like the shape of it. And the depression that came over him, made him shudder. It was so cold. So terrifyingly cold. He felt like all the happiness had been taken from him. Like he'd never smile again – and that would be a serious problem considering who his dad was.

A skeletal hand appeared on the door, coming from the dark figure. The door slid aside with a slow screech and a creepy hand curled around the edge of it. Knobby and bony. The creature that opened the door of their compartment, made Harry think of the Grim Reaper or a Wraith. And it made him feel even colder just looking at it.

Harry swallowed his nerves away and ignored the horrible emptiness he felt at the creature’s approaching. He smiled as best he could, a wide, bright grin like his parents always carried and held out a hand towards the unknown being.

“Hi! Want some tea and biscuits?” he asked as cheerful as possible.

The others all stared at him as if he was insane, but Harry ignored them and just kept staring at the strange creature. After a few seconds, the cloaked being just turned away again and moved on deeper into the train. Harry let out a sigh of relief and looked back at his friends, who were still looking at him weirdly. He plastered another bright fake smile on his face.

“What?” he asked innocently.

.              .              .              .              .

“Oh!”

Harry looked up, ignoring Draco’s ranting to see a young second year girl stare at the carriages in wonder. For a moment, he scowled, confused what was so special about the carriages that she would stare at them so much. The only thing even worth noting were the Thestrals, but he was the only one who could see them because you had to watch someone die first… His eyes widened when he realized she actually _was_ looking at the horses.

“That’s Lovegood,” Daphne whispered in his ear.  
“The freak from Ravenclaw. She’s in my sister’s dorm.”

Harry frowned and glared at Daphne, who quickly took a step back, paling in fear at the dark expression the dark haired boy shot her.

“I happen to like freaks,” he hissed at her.

Without looking at any of his friends, Harry stepped up to the blond second year girl and stopped right behind her as she carefully lifted a hand up to touch the closest Thestral. He noticed her hand was slightly trembling, probably unsure if it was safe.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” Harry asked, chuckling as the girl jumped and turned around.

To Harry’s shock, he recognized her as the odd girl he had met last year when they were on the train back to London. She had seen Tom, or at least known he was there somehow. Now it turned out she could even see Thestrals… She was becoming more interesting by the minute.

“Yes they are, Harry Quinn,” she whispered, bright blue eyes wide as she stared at him.

Harry smirked. There were very few around who called him by that name, but it definitely was the one he preferred. Either this girl liked it better than ‘Quinzel’ too, or someone told her his preference. At least she didn’t call him ‘Potter’, because then he would have had to hurt her.

“They’re called Thestrals,” Harry told her.  
“You can pet them, they won’t hurt anyone.”

“How come only you, me and Theodore Nott can see them?” Lovegood asked curiously as she reached out to pet one.

“I asked my dad about them. Apparently you can only see them if you watched someone die.”

The Slytherins shuffled nervously, seeming uncomfortable at this. Harry just grinned at them.

“My mum died a few years ago in a potions experiment gone wrong,” Lovegood murmured.  
“Who did you watch die, Theodore Nott and Harry Quinn?”

“My mum too. I was six at the time,” the skinny bookworm muttered.

“My uncle. When I was five.”

“I’m very sorry,” the blond girl said, smiling sadly at Harry.

“I’m not,” the raven haired boy snorted.  
“The bastard fucking deserved it and more.”

“Oh. Then I’m very happy for you,” the girl giggled.

Harry laughed. He liked her already. The rest of his friends still seemed somewhat skeptical, but after everything that had happened the past two years, they quickly accepted her when Harry asked her to join them in one of the carriages. They all piled in. Harry, Draco, Daphne, Lovegood and young Astoria in one, and Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise, Theo and Pansy in a second.

“Let’s hope this year will be more normal,” Daphne said.  
“Anything but a repeat of last year. I don’t want another terror.”

“In that case, let’s hope Black doesn’t come here,” Draco muttered.

This had Harry perk up immediately. He’d seen the man’s picture in some papers, but he hadn’t cared much for the details of an escaped convict. Though he wished he had, if Draco was worried about him coming to the most secured and safe place in all of the British Wizarding World.

“Why d’you think he’ll come here?” he asked.

The others, even Lovegood stared at him in shock. Harry just raised a brow and waited for someone to start explaining what was so special about one single criminal.

“The man is an insane serial killer who used to be You-know-who’s right hand!” Daphne said.

“He’s a cousin of my mother,” Draco added scowling.  
“She told me he used to be your dad- err, blood-dad’s best friend and your godfather. Until he betrayed them and led the Dark Lord to your house. He’s the reason your parents are dead.”

Harry hummed in thought. That did sound pretty important he guessed. The others were all watching him curiously, probably expecting him to fly in a rage after hearing this. It wasn’t anything special to Harry though. Things like that were a Sunday afternoon in Gotham. So what if it involved his birth parents? He never met them, so why feel bad about them dying? He was perfectly happy with the parents he had right now.

“Still doesn’t explain why he’d come here though,” he pointed out lazily.

“To finish what he started of course,” Lovegood said in a dreamy voice.

Harry stared for a moment before he started laughing.

“He’s going to come here to kill me?” he asked between fits of laughter.

“That’s not funny!” Daphne cried out.  
“He’s insane, and a killer! He killed 13 muggles and a wizard before they could catch him.”

Harry had killed about the same amount of people, and Joker’s numbers were up somewhere in the hundreds, maybe even thousands, not that he’d tell them that of course. He liked to keep his friends around for a bit longer. Besides, it was easier for him to move around the Wizarding World if they still trusted him somewhat, and with rumors like him killing people, that would be impossible.

“I’m not scared of some wand-waving lunatic,” he snickered instead.  
“I’ve seen things none of you can even imagine. _He_ is nothing at all, trust me. If he comes, **_he won’t know what hit him_**.”

.              .              .              .              .

Dumbledore gave his annual greeting to the school and introduced a ragged-looking man as Professor Remus Lupin, who would be taking up the DADA position. Harry wondered if the man would make it to a second year or not. Probably not.

The man stood and gave a small bow. He was obviously of the shy type. Harry couldn't help but snicker when Snape barely clapped and with absolutely no amount of enthusiasm. He looked completely annoyed that he was sitting next to the new professor. That, or the fact that he hadn't gotten to teach DADA again. Whichever worked. The students clapped lightly, also not really expecting Lupin to last all that long.

Dumbledore moved on to inform them all that Hagrid would be the Care of Magical Creatures teacher that year. It didn't surprise Harry, now that he thought about it. The book for the class was pure evil. Harry hoped he would be able to get away with causing some of the Gryffindor books to attack their owners. It’d be fun to watch them try to stop from being eaten. Especially Ron Weasley, and maybe Longbottom too, just because he was such an easy target.

Harry was very conflicted when he learned that the Dementors were going to be patrolling the borders of the school. On one hand, they were obviously pure evil and dark creatures, and that would mean he should get along with them just fine, it was just the fact that they seemed to suck all his happiness away. Without his happiness, there was very little left of Harry Quinn, only a bitter, hateful shell he preferred to keep hidden a little while longer.

"But you know, happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times. If one only remembers, to turn on the light."

Harry had to snicker at the cheesy words of his headmaster and rolled his eyes, as did most of his peers at the Slytherin table. Dumbledore might be worshipped in the other three houses, inside the green and silver house, he was a laughing stock.

.              .              .              .              .

After the feast, all students went to their own common room. Harry was happily talking to Flint, who apparently had to redo his last year. Colin had come running over at one point too to greet him with a bright smile and the flashing of his camera. Harry had smiled at that and watched the second year run back to the Gryffindor table when he saw a few odd things. First off, Hermione was talking to Ron Weasley, which had to be a first, especially since they seemed to be getting along. Second, the Twins were staring at him…

“They’ve been watching you since the start of the feast,” Theo muttered in his ear.

“Really?” Blaise asked surprised.  
“What would that be about?”

“Who cares? They’re bloody Weasleys,” Draco huffed.

Harry ignored them all and just waved at Fred and George. Dual smirks appeared on their faces and they waved back before turning to talk to Lee. Chuckling a bit, Harry walked out of the Great Hall with his friends.

“Quinn!” Adrian Pucey called out, rushing to walk next to him.  
“The older students have talked it over and we’ve come to a decision.”

Harry frowned at that.

“What kind of decision?” he asked.

“Well, it’s tradition that when a King or Queen is appointed in the house, they’re given a private room,” Adrian explained grinning.  
“And since you became King last year, this is a little overdue. It only took so long because it’s the first time someone this young made King.”

“Private room, huh?” Harry asked smirking.  
“Alright. I’m game. Show me the way!”

.              .              .              .              .

The room was adjacent to the common room through a secret doorway behind a bookshelf (because it wasn’t cliché, it was a classic). It was spacy and the door was guarded by two giant snake statues (again a classic Harry supposed). He had a private study, a bathroom, a king-size four-poster bed and a loveseat with a nice black polished coffee table. All decorations were of course in green, silver and black, but a few charms had that fixed right away. Harry loved color after all.

 ** _*Finally Hatchling gets the acknowledgment he deserves,*_** Malinda hissed proudly as she popped her head out of Harry’s robes.

Harry chuckled and laid down on his bed with a pleased sigh. A new year at Hogwarts, his own private bedroom and a mass murderer chasing him. Exactly what the doctor ordered.

 


	54. New Teachers

Draco stared blankly at Harry’s hair before looking Harry in the eye.

“Are you being serious right now?” he asked.

Harry scowled confused and looked back into the mirror to his bright, fire colored hair. It was mainly orange, but it darkened to almost red towards the roots and he had yellow, red, and even some blue, green and purple highlights, making it seem alive. He had also charmed it to glow very bright, almost blindingly, so it looked as if his head was on fire.

“You think so?” he asked.  
“I was going for a Weasley.”

Draco scrunched up his nose in distaste.

“Why would you do that?” he asked.

“To pay my respects of course!”

“You’re the reason she’s dead, Quinn,” Draco muttered.

Harry’s bright green eyes snapped back over to the blond. They seemed to have become much more vivid too with the hair, but instead of hot fire, they more looked like bright cubes of ice with the way Harry looked at him. it greatly contrasted the wide grin the insane boy was sporting.

“Are you accusing me, Draco?” Harry asked softly.

His tone, for the untrained ear, had sounded very playful but Draco was no fool. He could clearly hear the threat seeping through.

“Of course not,” he replied after a few moments of tense silence, his face blank.  
“You did everything to save Ginny Weasley and now you’re paying your respects to her family.”

Harry’s smile became more genuine and his eyes lost their frost.

“Exactly!” he agreed cheerfully.  
“Now let’s get to breakfast! Can’t miss first class, right?”

Draco scowled and nodded stiffly. Harry just ignored the tenseness in his friend’s shoulders and grinned, grasping Draco’s hand in his own to pull him out of his room. He dragged Draco all the way to the Great Hall, all the while complaining about Tom.

They barely entered the Great Hall or Fred and George zoned in on them. Harry smiled brightly at the widely grinning twins walking over to them. Draco scowled and took a step aside to allow both redheads to take their places on either side of the young King of Slytherin and throw their arms over the younger teen’s shoulders.

“Nice hair,” Fred said grinning.

“You look good as a redhead,” George added winking.

“I look good as an everything,” Harry countered amused.  
“But thanks anyways! I wanted to look a bit like my favorite Terror Twins.”

“If only our hair could be that bright,” George sighed wistfully.

“It’s like real fire! And with your pretty eyes, you look almost like a Veela!” Fred marveled.

“You think I’m pretty?” Harry asked innocently, batting his eyes at the both of them.

The twins laughed for a  moment before leaning closer to Harry, mischievous grins on their identical faces. Harry smirked too, and Draco was instantly wary. This couldn’t mean anything good.

“Everything ready?” Harry asked the Weasley duo.

“Absolutely. All you have to do is say the word,” George said grinning.

“Pretty literally, just like we agreed,” Fred laughed.

“What have you planned this time, Quinn?” the blond asked.

Harry turned at his friend and grinned widely.

“I just want to start the schoolyear with a BANG!”

He barely said the last word of loud fireworks exploded behind the teacher’s table, catapulting several of the professors face-first into their breakfast. Many students jumped up and screamed in horror, probably thinking that Sirius Black was attacking or something, while slowly, music started playing from all around. Harry laughed joyously and high-fived the twins as the intro of ‘Mighty Quinn’ sung by Manfred Mann started thundering loudly through the Great Hall.

 _Come all without, come all within_  
You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn  
Come all without, come all within  
You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn

“Seriously?” Draco asked incredulous.

Harry grinned and walked back to the Slytherin table while Fred and George danced around the room, bellowing out the lyrics as loud as they could.

 _Everybody's building ships and boats_  
Some are building monuments  
Others jotting down notes  
Everybody's in despair  
Every girl and boy  
But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here  
Everybody's gonna jump for joy

“STOP THIS NONSENSE!” Snape screamed.

Instead, the music became even louder to drown him out.

“QUINZEL!” the Potions Master tried again, swishing out his wand in a fury.

Whatever spell he tried didn’t seem to work at all. in fact, with every attempt to drown the music out, being it with screaming or spells, the music became even louder. Before long, many students had to press their hands over their ears and several, like Hermione, had fled the Great Hall because of the loudness. The brunette witch hadn’t left for herself, however, but because her giant orange cat had taken off on its own.

 _Come all without, come all within_  
You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn  
Come all without, come all within  
You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn

Professor Lupin stood up suddenly and waved his wand around, saying something Harry couldn’t hear because of how loud the music was being and suddenly, everything was quiet again. Harry blinked in shock and shook his head to get rid of the ringing in his ears at the sudden stillness. He hadn’t expected anyone to stop his prank so quick.

“Thank you, Remus,” Dumbledore said calmly.

“No problem, headmaster,” Lupin said, smiling.

He caught Harry’s eye as he sat back down and winked. Harry narrowed his eyes. Challenge accepted.

.              .              .              .              .

“I’ve got Arithmancy first thing already,” Draco said, scowling down at his schedule.

“Good luck!” Harry snorted.

Draco glared at him and sniffed.

“I don’t need luck,” he said.  
“My father says I have talent.”

“Is that why you’re taking three classes instead of two?” Blaise asked, looking over his friend’s shoulder.  
“Arithmancy, Ancient Runes and Care for Magical Creatures. Aren’t those the same as Theo takes?”

“Yes,” Draco replied proudly.  
“What electives did you take?”

“Arithmancy and Study of Ancient Runes,” Blaise replied.  
“Mum’s a Runes Mistress, so I have a head start there.”

“I’m taking those too,” Daphne said, smiling at Blaise.  
“Haven and Milly too, and Tracy is taking Divination and Care for Magical Creatures, just like Pansy. What about you, Quinn?”

 “I’m taking Care and Runes!” Harry said cheerfully.

“Meaning you’ve got the first period free,” Daphne said.  
“Divination and Arithmancy is both right now, as well as Muggle Studies.”

“Hmmm… That means I’m the _only one_ with a free period right now,” Harry said smirking.

The entire group tensed at those ominous words.

.              .              .              .              .

Peeves turned out to be great company during Harry’s free period, even if he ended with three months of detention with Filch at the end of it. At least the grumpy old squib would be cleaning up Peeves and Harry’s mess for just as long.

.              .              .              .              .

As the Slytherins walked into the Defense classroom, Harry stopped suddenly, his eyes widening in shock. There was an old, ratty little radio sitting on the teacher’s desk… Playing. Mighty Quinn…

“Looks like Professor Lupin likes you,” Theo muttered.

“Who knows why though,” Blaise teased.

“Because I’m wonderful and beautiful, obviously.”

“And so very humble too, I see,” Lupin said with a smirk.

Harry jumped and gave a dramatic squeal before turning around to face his teacher, who had walked in behind them.

“Are you implying something, Professor?” Harry asked, playing offended.

“If he is, he’s got the right idea!” Daphne laughed.

“Anything but humble, this one,” Pansy joked, jerking her thumb at Harry.

“Nice friends I have!” Harry whined playfully.

Lupin chuckled amused and walked over to his desk. A small wave of his wand, the radio turned off before the teacher looked over at the settling students with a smile.

“Alright, class! Today’s will be a practical lesson. You will only need your wands,” he said.

A few curious looks were exchanged as the class put away their books. They had never had a practical Defense Against the Dark Arts before.

“Right then,” Professor Lupin said smiling.  
“If you’d follow me.”

Puzzled but interested, the class got to its feet and followed Professor Lupin out of the classroom. He led them along the deserted corridor and around a corner and stopped, right outside the staff-room door.

“Inside, please,” Professor Lupin said, opening it and standing back.

Lupin beckoned the class towards the end of the room, where there was nothing except an old wardrobe in which the teachers kept their spare robes. As Professor Lupin went to stand next to it, the wardrobe gave a sudden wobble, banging off the wall.

“Nothing to worry about, there’s a Boggart in there,” Professor Lupin said calmly, as a few people jumped backwards in alarm.

Harry’s eyes started shining immediately at those words. They were going to face a Boggart? Was he really going to be given the opportunity to hold more sensitive information about his friends? He loved this class!

He only listened with half an ear to Lupin’s explanation of how they loved dark, tiny spaces and that they were shapeshifters that took the form of the fear of the person nearest to them. Harry was too busy imagining how he would be able to use this to his advantage later on, and with the terrified looks _every_ student in the class threw at him, they all knew it too.

“The charm that repels a Boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a Boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing. We will practice the charm without wands first. After me, please … Riddikulus!”

Everyone dutifully repeated the spell, Harry still with a wolfish grin stretched on his face. Sadly, Professor Lupin noticed him and smirked.

“Harry! You look awfully happy!” he said.  
“Why don’t you come to the front and we’ll change that for you.”

Harry blinked innocently and stepped forward.

“You remember what to do, right?” Lupin asked.  
“What do you think the Boggart will turn into?”

“Dunno,” Harry replied honestly, giving a shrug.

“Well, we all know you’re pretty fearless,” Lupin chuckled.  
“Stories of your adventures the last two years have spread quite a bit.”

Harry laughed and gave a flourish bow.

“Maybe the Boggart will stop existing!” he joked.

“It won’t even become the Dark Lord or Sirius Black?”

Harry smirked.

“Don’t underestimate me, professor.”

.              .              .              .              .

“Quinn-”

“Don’t talk to me,” Harry hissed.

Theo snapped his mouth shut and looked down at his food. Ever since the Defense class, Harry had been in the foulest mood. He had stood in front of the wardrobe with a cocky smirk, his wand in hand and body relaxed until the Boggart stepped out. All cheer had disappeared from his face and he went completely blank before screaming with rage and stomping out of the classroom.

Fucking. Batman. He hadn’t wanted to see that bastard show up as his biggest fear. He’d gone straight towards the Slytherin dorms and threw the biggest temper tantrum he’d had in years, where everything in the room either started floating or exploded. After he’d calmed down a bit, he was forced to admit that he understood why it was Batman. He always tried to tear Harry’s family apart and every time Joker and Harley ended up in Arkham, Harry couldn’t help but fear that he may never see them again.

“Hello, Harry.”

Harry pulled himself out of his musings and smiled up at Luna Lovegood.

“Hey there, beautiful,” he said smirking.

“Don’t worry,” the girl said, ignoring Harry’s attempt to flirt.  
“He’s not a danger to your family. He won’t get them forever.”

Harry scowled in confusion, but he quickly shook it off and smiled.

“Thank you, Luna.”

.              .              .              .              .

Harry was pleased to get out of the castle after lunch. Yesterday’s rain had cleared; the sky was a clear, pale grey and the grass was springy and damp underfoot as they set off for their first ever Care of Magical Creatures class.

He was flanked by Draco and Theo while Pansy and Tracy walked behind them, together with Crabbe and Goyle who both took the same classes as Draco. Harry walked beside them in silence as they went down the sloping lawns to Hagrid’s hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He noticed a mop of bright red hair (though not as bright as his own) and very bushy brown hair. They must have the class with Gryffindor. Hagrid was waiting for his class at the door of his hut. He stood in his moleskin overcoat, with Fang the boarhound at his heels, looking impatient to start.

“C’mon, now, get a move on!” he called, as the class approached.  
“Got a real treat for yeh today! Great lesson comin’ up! Everyone here? Right, follow me!”

Hagrid strolled off around the edge of the trees, and five minutes later, they found themselves outside a kind of paddock. There was nothing in there.

“Everyone gather round the fence here!” he called.  
“That’s it – make sure yeh can see. Now, firs’ thing yeh’ll want ter do is open yer books.”

“How?” Draco drawled annoyed.

“Eh?” Hagrid asked confused.

“How do we open our books?” Draco repeated.

He took out his copy of The Monster Book of Monsters, which he had bound shut with a length of rope. Other people took theirs out, too; some, like Harry, had belted their book shut while others had crammed them inside tight bags or clamped them together with bullclips.

“Hasn’ – hasn’ anyone bin able ter open their books?” Hagrid asked, looking crestfallen.

The class all shook their heads.

“Yeh’ve got ter stroke ’em,” Hagrid said, as though this was the most obvious thing in the world.  
“Look…”

He took Hermione’s copy and ripped off the Spellotape that bound it. The book tried to bite, but Hagrid ran a giant forefinger down its spine, and the book shivered, and then fell open and lay quiet in his hand.

“Oh, how silly we’ve all been!” Draco sneered.  
“We should have stroked them! Why didn’t we guess!”

“I … I thought they were funny,” Hagrid said uncertainly to Hermione.

“Oh, tremendously funny!” Draco growled angrily.  
“Really witty, giving us books that try and rip our hands off!”

“Don’t be so boring, Drakey!” Harry laughed.  
“You’d be surprised how many ‘monsters’ can be calmed by just a bit of stroking. Like Cerberus, a Basilisk, **_me_**.”

“I’ll keep in mind next time you’re planning something, I just need to pet you,” Draco said blankly.

Harry grinned and leaned closer.

“You also need to know _where_ to pet,” he whispered.

Draco scowled confused, but when Harry looked down meaningfully at his crotch, he hissed in annoyance and pushed Harry away.

“And I thought you couldn’t get any worse.”

“Righ’ then,” said Hagrid, who seemed to have lost his thread.  
“So … so yeh’ve got yer books an’ … an’ … now yeh need the Magical Creatures. Yeah. So I’ll go an’ get ’em. Hang on …”

He strode away from them into the Forest and out of sight.

“God, this place is going to the dogs,” Draco said loudly.  
“That oaf teaching classes, my father’ll have a fit when I tell him-”

“Shut up, Malfoy,” Ron growled.

Draco glared and Crabbe and Goyle both cracked their knuckles.

“Too bad it wasn’t _you_ who died in the Chamber last year, Weasley,” the blond sneered.  
“Then again, I suppose we should be happy it was one of you at least. Would have been hard not to, there are just so many.”

Ron had gone completely red in the face, and he looked about ready to lunge when Hagrid returned. Trotting towards them were a dozen Hippogriffs. The talons on their front legs were half a foot long and deadly-looking. Each of the beasts had a thick leather collar around its neck, which was attached to a long chain, and the ends of all of these were held in the vast hands of Hagrid, who came jogging into the paddock behind the creatures.

“Hippogriffs!” Hagrid roared happily, waving a hand at them.  
“Beau’iful, aren’ they?”

Harry nodded his head eagerly in agreement. He had been worried that they would start with tiny little fairy creatures or something, but instead, Hagrid immediately brought his A-game! Then again, Hagrid was never really aware of safety hazards, so that was a big plus in Harry’s book too.

“He’s making this way too easy for me,” he whispered gleefully at his friends.

The entire group of Slytherins took a few steps away from him instantly.

“So,” said Hagrid, rubbing his hands together and beaming around.  
“If yeh wan’ ter come a bit nearer…”

Harry jumped forward immediately with an eager shout.

“Now, firs’ thing yeh gotta know abou’ Hippogriffs is they’re proud,” Hagrid warned.

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry muttered dismissively.  
“Show respect, let them pick the pace and stuff. I have a cousin who’s the same, and my dad’s too. You have to let them know you’re on their side and give them the space they want. Once you have their trust you can start pushing your luck a little, but too early and you’re dead.”

He looked back at the other students and smirked.

“It’s how I made friends with Draco.”

Several students laughed at that and Hagrid smiled.

"Right then – let’s see how yeh get on with Buckbeak.”

He untied one of the chains, pulled the grey Hippogriff away from his fellows and slipped off his leather collar. The class on the other side of the paddock seemed to be holding its breath.

“Easy, now, Harry,” Hagrid said quietly.  
“Yeh’ve got eye contact, now try not ter blink – Hippogriffs don’ trust yeh if yeh blink too much …”

Harry stared with wide, adoring eyes at the magnificent creature before him. He absolutely loved magical creatures. He’d met Fluffy in his first year, the Basilisk in second, and now Buckbeak the Hippogriff. He really hoped that this would end up being a pattern. He gave a short bow and then looked up. The Hippogriff was still staring haughtily at him. It didn’t move.

“Ah,” Hagrid muttered, sounding worried.  
“Right – back away, now, Harry, easy does it.”

But then, to Harry’s enormous surprise, the Hippogriff suddenly bent his scaly front knees, and sank into what was an unmistakable bow.

“Well done, Harry!” Hagrid exclaimed.  
“Right – yeh can touch him! Pat his beak, go on!”

Grinning like a kid on Christmas morning, Harry stepped forward and reached out towards the Hippogriff. He patted the beak several times and the Hippogriff closed his eyes lazily, as though enjoying it. The class broke into applause.

“Righ’ then, Harry,” Hagrid said beaming.  
“I reckon he migh’ let yeh ride him!”

“Really?!” Harry asked eagerly.  
“Holy shit! Yes! That’s amazing!”

Harry put his foot on the top of Buckbeak’s wing and hoisted himself onto his back. Buckbeak stood up. Harry wasn’t sure where to hold on; everything in front of him was covered in feathers.

“Go on, then!” roared Hagrid, slapping the Hippogriff’s hindquarters.

Without warning, twelve-foot wings flapped open on either side of Harry; he just had time to seize the Hippogriff around the neck before he was soaring upwards. It was nothing like a broomstick, and Harry didn’t know which one he preferred. The glossy feathers were smooth under his fingers and he held a strong grip as he was rocked back and forth slightly as the hindquarters of the Hippogriff rose and fell with the beating of his wings. It was like riding a horse in the sky.

Buckbeak flew him once around the paddock and then headed back to the ground. He leant forward and braced himself as the smooth neck lowered. Then he felt a heavy thud as the four feet hit the ground and just managed to hold on and push himself straight again.

“That was one of the most amazing things I’ve done in my life!” Harry crowed as he jumped off the Hippogriff under loud cheers of his classmates.  
“Almost as amazing as riding a Cerberus dog into a nest of Acromantulas, raining down righteous fury on them in the form of fire spells!”

The formerly smiling Hagrid turned ghostly pale.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a little explanation about Harry’s Boggart. He isn’t scared of Batman as a person, but what he stands for. Harry’s biggest fear is abandonment, and in his mind, it will most likely be Batman’s fault if he ever lost his parents. For all his issues, Harry is terrified of ending up all alone and he knows that if Batman ever got what he wanted, Harry would never see his family again.
> 
> Also, I will be posting less from next week on. I hope to reduce the updates to three times a week, but it’s possible I will have to return to once a week. My apologies beforehand.


	55. Fun Times

It was already October and Snape was getting in a progressively terrible mood for over a month. Everyone knew where it came from of course, as it was more than obvious that Snape absolutely _loathed_ Lupin for whatever boring reason the greasy bat could have. Also, the rumors about Gryffindor’s first Defense lesson where Neville Longbottom had faced his Boggart of Severus Snape himself and dressed him in his grandmother’s clothes. Which was probably the reason why Snape had started bullying Longbottom even worse.

He was bullying Harry a lot too, but Harry knew _that_ reason just fine. After all, he didn’t look like he found it funny that Harry jumped up from his seat every time he walked into the classroom and screamed “Riddikulus!” on top of his lungs, pointing his wand at his teacher.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was roped into visiting the Chamber by Malinda. The tiny snake was completely smitten by the giant serpent. It counted for the other way around as well. The Basilisk, whom he had discovered was named Sigrun, a Scandinavian name meaning secret victory – which Harry found really fit her – had taken to calling Malinda ‘Small One’ while she had taken Malinda’s habit of calling Harry ‘Hatchling’.

Because of this, Harry was in a bad mood when he crawled back out of the Chamber’s entrance in the early morning. Two maternal snakes fuzzing over him was a little too much for his tastes.

“H-Harry?”

Harry tensed and looked up, finding not only Myrtle staring at him, but the pale, ghostly face of one Ginevra Weasley as well. She was looking at him with big, innocent and curious eyes that made Harry’s chest clench in horror. She… was still around? No wonder the Weasleys seemed to be smiling so much lately!

“Ginny…” he mumbled.  
“You-you’re still here.”

“Um… Y-yeah, I guess I am,” the girl murmured shyly.  
“They told me that you went and tried to save me… Thank you.”

Harry’s eyes widened and he felt a little bit of the pressure go down again.

“You don’t remember any of it?” he asked.

Ginny blushed silver and shook her head.

“I remember staring at the new writing on the wall outside the lavatories,” she said.  
“I-I knew it was me who wrote it, but I couldn’t remember it… a-and then… I heard Tom’s voice… in my head… saying that ‘it was time’. And then everything went black.”

She never saw Harry conversing with Tom. Hell, Harry was pretty sure she never even saw Tom! This was great! He didn’t need to worry about her telling anyone.

“That’s for the best, I guess,” he mumbled.  
“… Hey. Breakfast is almost gonna start so I better get going.”

“I’ll come with!” Ginny said eagerly, floating after Harry out of the lavatories.

Harry smiled at the girl he knew had the biggest crush on him.

“Looks like you and Myrtle are getting along well,” he said.

Ginny smiled and nodded, before turning grave again.

“Why did you lie to everyone?” she asked.

Harry stopped walking and looked over at Ginny with a blank expression.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said blandly.

“The Basilisk. It’s still alive,” the ghostly girl said.  
“I went back to the Chamber in the summer and saw it… I-I didn’t tell anyone! I just want to know why…”

Harry looked down at his feet and pouted.

“If I tell you, you’ll hate me,” he whispered, willing his eyes to start tearing.

Ginny gasped and tried to put a hand on Harry’s shoulder, even though she wasn’t corporeal anymore.

“I will never hate you!” she exclaimed horrified.  
“I trust you, Harry. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone, I know you have a reason to lie…”

Harry swallowed harshly and looked up at Ginny with pitiful, terrified big eyes.

“I’m a Parselmouth,” he whispered softy.  
“I-I think it has to do with something Voldemort did when he tried to kill me, but… I’ve been able to for as long as I remember. My dad told me about what it meant and that most people believe that only evil wizards can do it… so-so I hid it, and then everyone started calling me the Heir…”

He gave a sad sob and Ginny looked at him sadly, as if she wanted to hug him so badly.

“When I went down to the Chamber, the _real_ Heir – Riddle – he set the Basilisk on me,” Harry continued.  
“I had no way to fight it, and it was so fast, so I had to hide in the pipes under the school and lure it away first. When-when I finally made it back, you-…”

He gave another choked sob.

“Riddle was _laughing! Taunting me_ for failing to save you! I-I got so angry that I took his Diary and destroyed it… And he went up in flames! Just like that! The Basilisk stopped chasing me then and she just looked at me, curiously. I asked why she killed students, and she said because she was told to do it and she was hungry… So I promised to give her access to the Forbidden Forest if she stayed away from the school.”

He sighed and looked at Ginny with a guilty expression.

“I lied about it because the school would close if they knew the Basilisk was still alive,” he confessed.

Ginny nodded in understanding and gave him a weak smile.

“Then I’ll keep it a secret too!” she said determined.

.              .              .               .              .

A few days later, Harry could be found at the Pitch with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team to watch the tryouts for the new chaser. Flint was present too, even though he had been made to stop playing so he could fully focus on his studies. Adrian Pucey was the new Captain now, and Harry had really hoped that he would be able to play Beater again, but no such luck.

“We can’t trust you with a bat just yet, Quinn,” he had said sternly.  
“You’re playing Chaser for the whole year and the next and that’s final.”

Because of that, Harry was now pouting unhappily as he watched a few second years and fourth years try out for the open spot. From his own year, Alexander Xavier, Tracy and Blaise were trying out too.

“I really hope it’s a girl this time,” Harry muttered in Draco’s ear.  
“At least that way I don’t have to check out the asses of our opponents anymore.”

Draco sighed and shook his head in exasperation.

“You’re an idiot, Quinn,” he muttered.

Harry laughed and made a small loop on his broom before stopping and floating in front of his friend with a big grin on his face.

“You’re right! I shouldn’t discriminate!” he joked.  
“I mean, Adrian has a pretty nice ass too and I’ve always liked Flint’s shoulders. The man is built like a brute! **_Imagine what he can do_** …”

“That he can do… What or to whom?” Draco asked suspiciously.

Harry just chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Anything, anywhere and to me,” he replied slyly.

Draco shuddered in disgust and flew away to watch Blaise and Tracy try out against each other. Within the given ten minutes, Blaise scored six times against zero and at the end of the tryouts, Adrian gladly announced Blaise as the new chaser, causing both Draco and Harry to cheer loudly for their friend. After that, it was time to hit the showers and go back to the castle.

On his way there, Harry was stopped by Flint, who had his Nimbus 2001 slung over his shoulder and was grinning widely. Harry stopped walking and raised a curious eyebrow.

“I couldn’t help but overhear your little talk with Malfoy,” he started.

Harry was very skeptical that he hadn’t been able to help it. Still, he grinned slyly and cocked his head.

“Did you now?” he asked amused.

He turned away and started walking towards the castle instead of the changing room. Flint scowled confused and went after him.

“Where are you going?” the former Captain asked.

“To my room, take a more private shower,” Harry replied, smirking.  
“Why? You wanna join? The shower’s big enough for it, and so is my bed.”

Flint started grinning again and he slung a thick arm over Harry’s shoulders as they both walked on.

.              .              .               .              .

Fucking Flint was entirely different from fucking Tom. At first, Harry thought it might just be because he and Tom had never done it in the showers, but as it went on and Flint dragged him to the bed to fuck again, he found that no, it hadn’t been the shower that made it so different.

Tom was very precise in his movement, meticulous. Everything he did was purposefully to torture Harry with equal amounts of pain and pleasure. He got off on Harry’s outcries, loved to be in control, to dominate Harry to the point where _he_ chose what Harry would feel and what not. He loved hearing Harry beg for it, for more, harder, faster,… Even for the pain, he had Harry beg.

Flint though… Flint didn’t care at all what Harry felt. To him, Harry was a body he could use. He only fucked for himself. Even the dirty things he whispered in Harry’s ear while he slammed his hips against Harry’s ass with enough force to leave it bright red, even the way he dug his finger deep into Harry’s skin until he drew blood, were only to heighten his own pleasure. He didn’t get off on humiliating Harry or watching his reactions like Tom did and Harry had no idea which he liked best at the end of the day.

“We should do this more often, Quinn,” Flint said as he got dressed again.

Harry was lying naked on the bed, trailing patterns on his cum-soaked stomach as he looked over to Flint and grinned.

“Sure thing!” he agreed chuckling.  
“Thanks for the little scratch, Marcus.”

Flint winked and threw three used condoms in the garbage can in the corner of Harry’s room before pulling open the door. Draco and Blaise tensed from where they were just about to knock on the door and jumped back. They paled as they saw Flint walk out while buttoning up his shirt and hurried inside.

“What the fuck, Quinn!” Draco exclaimed.  
“I thought you were joking!”

Harry blinked and stared at his friends with a blank expression.

“That doesn’t sound like me,” he said dryly.

“Bloody hell! You look like shit!” Blaise said horrified.

Harry looked down at himself. Blaise was right. He had bruises all over his arms, thighs and hips and red welts from scratching covered his chest and sides. Harry laughed and shrugged it off again.

“At least he didn’t do it in places where anyone can see,” he said.

“But… Th-that must have hurt!” Draco shouted.  
“You can’t have liked that! It must have hurt!”

Harry put up a pitiful expression and let tears gather at the corners of his eyes.

“You’re right!” he choked out sobbing.  
“It was terrible! I tried to beg him to stop, screamed for help, but he kept going!”

Both Draco and Blaise stared at him with wide eyes as he fell into a fit of giggles.

“You two are such idiots!” Harry laughed.  
“I loved it! I love the pain and I love the violence!”

“You’re sick,” Draco muttered.

Harry calmed down again and smirked at his friend.

“So the doctors tell me every time I go see them,” he chuckled.  
“But I bet you two didn’t come here to catch me having sex, unless you two are closet Voyeurs.”

“We came to drop off your clothes, since you left them in the changing room,” Blaise said, handing Harry a little bag.

The bright haired teen grinned gratefully and hopped off the bed to collect his clothes.

“Thanks! You two are such great friends!” he said cheerfully.  
“Want me to suck you off? I’m in a sex mood, so I’ll do it for free.”

Draco pulled a face and shook his head.

“No thanks,” the blond said.

Blaise on the other hand, looked as if he was seriously considering accepting Harry’s offer. That is, until Draco hit him on the back of his head.

“I’m fine, thanks,” the Italian muttered dejectedly.

“That’s fine too,” Harry shrugged smiling.  
“Besides, I can already tell you two that I’ll have fucked you both before we graduate.”

.              .              .               .              .

Bumping into Luna on the way to Dinner that evening was a bit of a surprise. Especially since three older Ravenclaws had crowded around her, pushing her around and calling her names.

“Pathetic, to treat someone of your own house like that,” Draco hissed disgusted.

The others all seemed to agree with him, but Harry didn’t hear a word they were saying. He saw red as he stomped over to the Ravenclaws.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!” he yelled, pushing a fourth year out of the way.

“Quinzel?! Get away, this is none of your-”

The boy was unable to finish his sentence before Harry’s fist made contact with his nose. A loud ‘crack’ of bone breaking could be heard and the boy staggered back with a pained shout, clutching his broken, bleeding nose. Harry didn’t look at him or his friends and pulled Luna away from them by her wrist.

“DAPHNE!” he roared, stomping back towards his friends.

The blonde squeaked and stepped closer, trembling from head to toe and her forest green eyes wide in terror.

“Where’s your sister? I need to talk to her,” Harry gritted out.

“A-at Dinner, I guess?” Daphne replied shakily.

Harry nodded and started walking towards the Great Hall again, his finger still tightly encasing Luna’s thin wrist as he pulled her along. The young Ravenclaw girl was staring at the back of Harry’s head with wide, innocent eyes and she stumbled a bit every few steps at how hurried Harry was walking.

As they arrived in the Great Hall, Harry immediately zoomed in on Astoria Greengrass, who was sitting with her friends at the Ravenclaw table. He walked over and only once he reached Astoria did he let go of Luna so he could pull the dark haired girl from her seat.

“Q-Quinn?” Astoria asked softly as she looked at the angry expression of the Slytherin King.

“From now on, I want you to look out for Luna,” he said.  
“Protect her and warn me when she’s being mistreated. If something happens to her, I’ll take it out on you.”

Astoria nodded fearfully and Harry nodded back, satisfied. As he turned to walk away, Luna grabbed his arm. Looking back at the blonde, Harry couldn’t help but relax a little. Luna smiled at him and handed him a Treacle Tart.

“Go and take a little walk to cool off, Harry,” she said.  
“On your own. I promise good things will come from it.”

Harry scowled for a second before nodding.

“Alright,” he agreed.

“Thank you for saving me, Harry,” Luna said, kissing Harry’s cheek.

Harry laughed and walked away. He ate the Treacle Tart while walking through the empty halls. Everyone was already at dinner after all. Or at least, almost everyone.

“Hello there, Harry,” Fred greeted smiling deviously as he threw an arm over his shoulder.

“How are you on this lovely morning?” George asked, wrapping an arm around the youngers’ waist.

Harry grinned at them and slung his arms over both their shoulders casually, taking them off guard. Harry had seen the twins do things like this to the younger students every now and again, or people of their own age groups. He had also seen them leering at him since the beginning of that year. He recognized that look from Tom, and it made him shiver in want.

“Much better now that I’ve seen you two handsome devils!” he spoke cheerfully, winking at Fred.  
“I have to say, with the way you’ve been ogling me, I was wondering when you’d muster up the courage. Aren’t you supposed the daring Gryffindors and me the blushing little virgin? Sweep me off my feet, gentlemen!”

The two of them gaped at him, making Harry bark out a laugh before freeing himself from the two redheads’ grasps and he started walking away. He looked back at the gaping twins and shook his head in faux disappointment.

“Thought so,” he muttered amused.

He barely moved any further before two hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him backwards in two muscular chests. His eyes widened in shock and a small blush actually formed on his cheeks as he felt twin hot breaths at both sides of his neck.

“Was that a challenge, Golden Boy?” Fred whispered hotly in his left ear.

“We’ll have you know we _never_ lose a challenge,” George added to his right.

Harry smirked and turned around in their grips.

“That’s good, because I was hoping I could check off ‘hot twins’ from my to do list this year,” he purred.

To make a good point, he pressed both his palms in their crotches, enjoying how their breaths hitched. He watched smugly as large blushes started to cover their cheeks and necks. Harry moved his hands to pat both the older teens’ cheeks in a condescending manner before moving away again.

“I’ve always been curious about the Gryffindor Dorms. How about you guys show me around next weekend? Say… Saturday when everyone’s in Hogsmeade?”

Unable to do much else than stare at him, the twins nodded their heads, making Harry grin widely. He saluted them and turned away, whistling a happy tune as he walked through the empty halls of the school towards the dungeons, a bounce in his step that hadn’t been there before. Looked like Luna’s prediction was spot on. This year was going to be an interesting one, and not just because of an escaped serial killer.

 


	56. Halloween Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Harry/Fred/George, Nudeness, Fingering
> 
> I won’t put any warning where it starts and where it ends this time because it’s just for a little bit and very easily skippable by just skipping over two or three paragraphs.

 

The first Hogsmeade weekend was finally there and every third year Slytherin was ecstatic to finally be allowed to visit the village. The fact that it was Halloween, which was historically the day that the most bad things seemed to happen in Hogwarts, was ignored by everyone but Harry.

“I wonder what will happen today,” Harry mused.  
“Maybe someone will end up dead! Murdered in the village!”

His friends all glared at him and Luna, who was allowed in the Slytherin common room as per Harry’s command, giggled. She sat between Harry and Draco in the three-seat couch in the back of the room.

“Can I hope it’s you that gets killed?” Draco asked.

“You can, but that won’t happen!” Harry laughed.

“Why? Because you’ll be the killer?” Pansy wondered.

“Because I won’t be going to Hogsmeade at all! HAH!”

All their faces fell and Daphne and Pansy shared a sad look.

“Does that mean we’ll be staying here too?” Blaise asked.

“Fuck no! I want some alone time!” Harry exclaimed.  
“Well, me and Luna of course, if you get my drift.”

Draco and Blaise started blushing instantly while Theo and the girls took a little longer to figure out what Harry had meant. Luna on the other hand just continued smiling dreamily, not even reacting as Harry slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

“In-in that case… We’ll be going, I guess…” Draco mumbled, getting up.

“Have fun~” Harry called after the group as they left.

As they were gone, Luna pulled away from Harry and sat a little further away.

“So what will we do now then, Harry?” the girl asked curiously.

Harry smirked lecherously and leaned a bit closer.

“Wanna fuck?” he asked.

“No, and neither do you.”

“Damn… There’s no fooling you, is there?” Harry asked.

Luna chuckled and shrugged.

“Alright, fine. I was thinking of pranking Lupin. You can stand guard,” Harry said.

.              .              .               .              .

The office of Professor Lupin was dark in his absence, but Harry had had enough practice finding his ways in the dark to not have to resort to magic to light his way. For some reason, Lupin had been locking himself away in his room and had Snape take over his classes. Not that Harry was trying to find out what was wrong (he totally was), he just wanted to play a prank.

There was a potion on the desk, waiting for Lupin to come and drink it, Harry supposed. After all, he had seen Snape place it here just a minute ago, when he was hiding in the shadowy corner of the room. Thank Chaos for Luna’s warning on that one. It wouldn’t have done for Snape to catch Harry in the middle of pouring magical glue on all the student’s chairs.

“Fuck it,” Harry muttered, grabbing the flask of potion and taking a whiff.

He regretted it almost instantly, as he started couching and gagging at the terrible smell. He was still able to recognize a few components and that only made him more curious. Scowling, he pulled out his wand and cast an ingredient listing spell. As the list appeared in the form of fiery words floating over the potion, Harry eyes widened in shock.

He quickly cancelled the spell and went back out the room. Now was not the right time to prank his Professor after all. Luna was waiting for him outside the door and smiled as he walked up.

“Did you finish already?” she asked.

“Nah. I decided against it,” Harry shrugged nonchalantly.

Luna nodded in understanding and smiled brightly again as she and Harry started walking away from the office. When they reached the stairs, Harry stopped and looked at Luna with a thoughtful frown.

“Did you ever notice anything weird about Professor Lupin?” he asked.  
“Like, was he enthralled by you or something? Did he get hairy when he saw you?”

Luna scowled in confusion.

“No. Why?” she asked.

Harry smirked and shrugged.

“Wolves have a weird obsession with the moon, don’t they?” he chuckled amused.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry stopped when he reached the painting of the Fat Lady as he saw Ginny floating through the wall. The ghost stopped and her eyes widened when she saw Harry.

“Oh! Harry, what are you doing here?” she asked.

“Visiting,” Harry replied with a grin.

“Now’s not a good time,” Ginny said nervously.  
“Fred and George got everyone out of the Tower because they’re ‘expecting company’.”

Harry grinned and stepped up to the Fat Lady.

“Thanks for the heads up, Gin! _Fortuna Major_.”

Ginny’s eyes widened and her small mouth formed an ‘O’ in shock.

“It’s you!” she gasped.

Harry grinned and winked at her.

“I have a thing for redheads,” he told her.  
“Though if I really got to choose, they’d be my second choice.”

Ginny blushed dark silver and quickly floated away in the opposite direction. Laughing, Harry entered through the hole in the wall after the painting had swung to the side. Inside, as Ginny had said, were only Fred and George. The duo had been leaning against a desk in the back of the room, talking to each other until Harry walked in. Now, they were both grinning widely and pushed away from the desk. Instead of walking up to the twins, Harry started looking around interested until he came to a halt next to a fireplace that was surrounded by several red couches and armchairs.

“Nice place,” Harry commented cheerfully as he plopped down on the red velvet loveseat.

He wasn’t lying. The Gryffindor common room was very cozy looking, with crackling log fires in the hearths made from warm brown stone and paintings of knights and cheerful looking people. The whole room looked so incredibly different from the Slytherin common room.

“Glad you think so!” George said cheerfully as he sat on Harry’s right and slung an arm over the younger teen’s shoulders.

“A lot more welcoming than the dungeons, right?” Fred chuckled, sitting down on Harry’s left as he mirrored his twin’s movement.

Harry rolled his eyes and laughed. Suddenly, Fred pulled him in and pressed his lips against Harry’s, cutting off all sounds. George chuckled and softly kissed Harry’s neck while Harry and Fred made out for a while longer. George meanwhile had fun sucking hickeys on Harry’s skin, slowly but surely inching Harry’s robes off his shoulders to reveal more pale skin.

“How about we go to the bedroom?” Fred suggested breathlessly as he pulled away from Harry.

Harry licked his lips in anticipation and nodded eagerly, making Fred and George both chuckle amused. The twins stood up quickly and dragged Harry up with them, marching the younger teen to their dorm in between them.

Harry laughed as he was quickly stripped by two pairs of eager hands, but he let the two older boys throw him on a bed after they’d gotten him naked. He grinned up and spread his legs teasingly. Both Weasley boys were sporting bright blushes and their pupils were dilated in arousal. It send a thrill of excitement at the thought of being the reason they both had tents in their slacks.

“Are you two chuckleheads planning on just looking?” he asked teasingly.  
“I don’t mind giving you a show, but I was kind of hoping for an interactive performance.”

“How about first a little show and then something interactive?” Fred asked, watching Harry lustfully.

Harry laughed and put two fingers in his mouth. he sucked them expertly, showing the two redheads what he could do with his tongue as he let the wet appendage slide over and wrap around his digits. He smirked when he heard one of them groan loudly in arousal and popped them back out.

“Try not to jizz in your pants, guys,” he teased.

He moaned softly as he pushed both fingers in his clenching hole, panting in pleasure as he pushed them deeper into himself. Fred and George were staring hungrily at him while his ass swallowed his fingers, making him feel very hot. He loved being watched, being _desired_. It made him feel powerful and alive. Moaning wantonly, Harry scissored his fingers, stretching his own ass more, getting it ready for the soon to come intrusion.

Once he deemed himself ready, he pulled his fingers back out, giving a disappointed sigh at the feeling of emptiness. Grinning at the twins, he scooted further on the bed and crooked his finger at them. Eager, like two dogs that had been promised a treat, the red heads approached, still staring at Harry with hungry, predatory eyes that made the younger teen’s skin prickle.

“Little Harrykins seems to be pretty experienced already,” one of them, Harry couldn’t remember which one, said smirking.

“That’s good. We don’t like virgins much. They’re too difficult and bashful,” the other one added with a grin.

“Never was bashful to begin with,” Harry scoffed.  
“Ask around. Wasn’t even nervous when I lost my virginity. In pain, because the other guy was a giant asshole, but not nervous.”

“So a man also?” the first twin hotly whispered in Harry’s ear.  
“Can we assume that you prefer blokes over girls then?”

“Never tried a girl before, but I definitely plan on changing that,” Harry confessed with a chuckle.

He gasped when the twin that had whispered in his ear started sucking on the skin on his neck while the other latched onto one of his nipples. Someone’s hand started rubbing up and down his already rock hard and leaking penis, while another hand – from the other twin probably – pressed two fingers into him to test how well he was stretched.

“So how do you want to do this, Harry?” the twin that had been playing with his nipples asked.  
“Want us to take turns, or can we play with both sides? I personally want to see those pretty pink lips wrapped around me~”

“As long as both of you pull out before you come, you can fuck me from all sides!” Harry laughed.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry sighed pleasantly and moved to the side of the bed to retrieve his pants to grab the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He didn’t do this often, but after Tom had handed him on after sex once, Harry found that he quite enjoyed them after a good workout. He only had five left in the packet, and he quickly took one out and put it in his mouth before lighting it with a snap of his fingers.

“What’s that?” George asked curiously.

Harry looked up and saw both redheads staring at him with confused expressions. They were all still in Fred’s bed, which was a really tight fit for the three of them, but luckily no one was opposed to squeezing together closely. If they did, they probably wouldn’t have had sex in the first place.

“A cigarette,” Harry said, taking his back out of his mouth to show the twins.  
“It’s kind of a muggle thing I guess. I always smoke one after sex because I like the taste.”

“Can we try?” Fred asked eagerly.

Harry shrugged and pulled out two more cigarettes for them. After instructing them to put them in their mouths, he leaned close and lighted them with his own, which was once again placed between his lips. He took a slow drag to show how to do it and Fred and George followed his lead. They started coughing almost immediately and George pulled a disgusted face.

“You like these?!” he asked horrified.

“They grow on you,” Harry replied.

He leaned back down to rummage between his robes and pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey, grinning triumphantly.

“Want some?” he asked the other two.

“Yeah,” Fred agreed, grabbing the bottle to take a big swig.

“I could use some too, to get rid of this taste,” George muttered.

His twin handed him the alcohol and George took a large swig before shuddering a bit as he handed it back to Harry. The youngest of the three took another drag from his smoke before he took it from his mouth and replaced it by the bottle for a drink.

“We’ve got something for you too, by the way,” Fred said, taking another, more careful drag from his bud and puffing out a cloud of white smoke.

“Yup! It helped us out a lot over the years, but we think you can use it more,” George said, pulling a piece of parchment from underneath the pillow.

Harry scowled.

“Parchment?” he asked confused.

“Not just parchment!” Fred exclaimed grinning.

“It’s the secret of our success!” George said.

Both brandished their wands and tapped the piece of empty parchment.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good!” they said in chorus.

And at once, thin ink lines began to spread like a spider's web from the point that George's wand had touched. They joined each other, they crisscrossed, they fanned into every corner of the parchment; then words began to blossom across the top, great, curly green words, that proclaimed:

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs_

_Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present THE MARAUDER'S MAP_

It was a map showing every detail of the Hogwarts castle and grounds. But the truly remarkable thing were the tiny ink dots moving around it, each labeled with a name in minuscule writing and Harry gave an excited squeal when he saw his own name, as just ‘Harry’, being more or less motionless in the Gryffindor dorm and squashed in between ‘Fred Weasley’ and ‘George Weasley’.

“You can understand that we’re a little confused why you’re the only one without a last name,” Fred said.

Harry smirked and looked up at him.

“I have too many of them to fit,” he chuckled darkly.

Harry, in his own mind, had seven _true_ names and what he liked to call his ‘stage name’, which was Child’s Play of course. The other ones were those Snape had seen the year before.

“Looks like Lee and the others are about to be back,” George pointed out.

Harry looked back at the map and noticed that the little marks for ‘Lee Jordan’, ‘Angelina Johnson’ and ‘Alicia Spinnet’ were all moving closer to the entrance of the Gryffindor common room.

“Whelp! That’s my cue to leave I guess,” he said, jumping up from the bed.  
“Try to keep my sex life private, alright? I don’t want people to know I’m active yet.”

The two redheads nodded in understanding and started getting dressed too. Once Harry was fully clothed again, they handed him the map, which they had closed by chanting “Mischief Managed!” and he threw the Cloak over himself.

He was able to reach the entrance to Gryffindor Tower just in time, as the Twins’ friends just walked in and he snuck out before the portrait closed again. Once he was a little out of the way, he pulled the Cloak off and walked back towards the dungeons. His friends were all still out and probably would stay that way for a while, so maybe he could get some more studying up on Necromancy, or he could write his dad.

.              .              .               .              .

It was already past dinner, when Harry and his friends had retired to their usual spot in the dungeons, when Snape suddenly walked in.

“Everyone, follow me to the Great Hall!” he announced.

With that, he turned around again and strode away. Confused, Harry and the other Slytherins followed behind. Many were mumbling to each other about what this could be about and Draco grabbed Harry’s arm tightly while walking.

“What did you do?” he asked in a low hiss.

“Nothing!” Harry replied.  
“Alright, several things, but nothing to do with this!”

“Are you sure?” Daphne asked uncertain.

“I didn’t kill anyone, dammit!” Harry exclaimed loudly, making all the Slytherins, and the Hufflepuffs, who had just joined them, all stare at him.

Harry crossed his arms and huffed in annoyance.

“Mr. Quinzel, if you please stop scaring the other students,” Snape drawled annoyed.

“Sure! It’s my fault!” Harry sighed dramatically.  
“Everything is always my fault! I bet I’m even the reason Voldemort exists!”

Snape just rolled his eyes and led them all into the Great Hall, where the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students were already waiting for all of them.

"The teachers and I need to conduct a thorough search of the castle," Professor Dumbledore told them as Professors McGonagall and Flitwick closed all doors into the hall.  
"I'm afraid that, for your own safety, you will have to spend the night here. I want the prefects to stand guard over the entrances to the hall and I am leaving the Head Boy and Girl in charge. Any disturbance should be reported to me immediately.”

He looked at Percy Weasley, who was looking immensely proud and important with his shiny Head Boy badge.

"Send word with one of the ghosts."

Professor Dumbledore paused, about to leave the hall and turned back towards the students.

"Oh, yes, you'll be needing..."

One casual wave of his wand and the long tables flew to the edges of the hall and stood themselves against the walls. Another wave, and the floor was covered with hundreds of squashy purple sleeping bags.

"Sleep well," Dumbledore said, closing the door behind him.

The hall immediately began to buzz excitedly. The Gryffindors were telling the rest of the school what had just happened.

"Everyone into their sleeping bags!" Percy Weasley shouted.  
"Come on, now, no more talking! Lights out in ten minutes!"

Harry grabbed a sleeping bag and lay down while Draco, Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle surrounded him in an instant, as if forming a protective barrier. The girls too came to lay near them while the older students, under leading of Adrian and Flint came to lie around them all.

"Do you think Black's still in the castle?" Pansy whispered anxiously.

Harry heard that Draco gave the girl a reply, but he was too focused on Luna to really hear what it was. Some of the other kids in Ravenclaw seemed to be complaining about her presence while Astoria tried her very best to support Luna, as she had even wrapped an arm around the blonde in comfort. It didn’t seem to work very well and just as Harry was ready to jump in, another voice called out.

“Come sleep with us, Lovegood! Greengrass!” Hestia Carrow called.

“More than enough room here!” Flora Carrow agreed readily.

Astoria and Luna smiled grateful and they took their sleeping bags over to where the second year Slytherin girls were all sitting together. Harry smiled pleased and laid down on his back. He hoped Malinda had gotten to the Chamber of Secrets alright.

 


	57. Winter Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Harry/Tom, Blow Jobs
> 
> Just a tiny part of it, so it’ll be easy to read over.

It was already the start of Christmas Break when he saw him for the very first time. Harry and his friends were all at the train station, waiting for the Hogwarts Express to take them back to King’s Cross for the Holidays. Harry had put himself a bit further away to brood. His parents hadn’t contacted him in a while now and that made him a little worried.

Because he was so deep in thoughts that he hadn’t seen the being approach until it pressed its wet snout against Harry’s leg. The fire haired teen jumped a little in surprise and looked down at the large black hound. It was staring up at him with innocent dark eyes.

“Hey there, doggie!” Harry greeted with a grin.  
“Got lost or something? Or do you just want a nice scratch?”

The dog barked softly and panted happily as Harry started scratching him behind the ear. Draco saw and approached with a scowl.

“Where did the mutt come from?” he blond asked.

“Dunno. Hogsmeade probably,” Harry shrugged.

Draco nodded and sighed, looking at Harry with something akin to worry.

“Did you hear anything from your parents yet?” he asked.

“Nope. Either they forgot about me, or they got arrested again,” Harry shrugged.  
“I guess I’ll see when I get home, won’t I? I hope at least my cousin’s there.”

Harry and Draco had agreed to never say Tom’s name to prevent anyone from overhearing.

“What’ll you do if they’re arrested?” Draco wanted to know.

“What I always do, obviously!” Harry laughed.

Draco didn’t need to ask anything else to know that Harry was planning to bust them out. Ever since his first meeting with the Joker, Harry had made sure to initiate Draco in his secret life of crime. This made Draco the only person in the entire wizarding world to know the full truth about the mysterious Prankster King of Slytherin.

“Just make sure not to get too bloodied up before coming back,” he muttered.  
“I’ll be the one who’ll have to think up an excuse when you do, like last month.”

A month ago, Harry had been called over by his dad for some kind of mission that ended up a pretty terrible idea. He hadn’t been given any explanation about what he was supposed to do, but he was told to help a kid named Klarion the Witchboy with some kind of spell to separate all children from the adults by placing them in two separate dimensions. Of course it had to end up with trouble when Robin and a couple other superhero teens showed up to stop them. One of them even turned into Dr. Fate.*

He had escaped just in time and went back to Hogwarts with a couple of broken bones, more bruises than he cared to count and a severe case of magical exhaustion. It was no fun fighting the most powerful magical entity in this part of the universe. He also learned, once back in school, that the wizarding world hadn’t been affected by his and Klarion’s spell.

The hound next to him whined and pressed his head against him in a way that was almost as if he tried to comfort Harry. The bright haired teen grinned and patted the dog.

“No promises,” he said to Draco.

Before Draco could reply, they were joined by Fred, George and Luna.

“Harry!” Fred greeted cheerfully.  
“Never knew you had a dog, mate!”

“My dog… Sounds good! He can be our mascot!”

“I thought Malinda was our mascot,” George laughed.

“She’s the brains of the operation,” Harry replied smirking.  
“I actually adopted Luna for that job… Sorry, babe, the dog takes your spot.”

Luna laughed and slid her hand in Harry’s with a bright smile.

“You can have two mascots,” she said airily.

“Hey! The train’s leaving soon!” Blaise called out.

Harry grinned and gave his friend a thumbs up. Pulling Luna with him, he started walking towards the train, only pausing at the insistent barking on the dog he left behind. He looked back over and waved cheerfully.

“I’d take you home if I could, doggie!” he said, pouting.  
“Sadly, my dad told me no more strays, so you’ll have to stay here.”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry waved at his friends as he walked over to the floo system. The international floo stood a bit away from the others. To enter, you needed to put two Galleons in the sloth, and so Harry did. In a flare of green flames, he disappeared and reemerged in Blüdhaven Wizarding District. From there, Harry made his way to an empty alley and disapparated. Though the minimum age of apparating was 17, Harry had learned to do so since he was ten. He just rarely found any reason to use it. He liked doing things the muggle way too much to bother.

He popped up in front of the abandoned amusement park his little family had decided to spent the holidays in and walked in, humming ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’ as he skipped past the broken down attractions towards the building they were probably calling home for the time being.

As he walked in, he only found one person already there, which surprised him a lot. Last year, Harley had been waiting for him to hug him and ask him all about his time in Hogwarts. Now though, he only found Tom Riddle sitting in a much too nice looking couch, probably one he had transfigured himself, reading a book. Harry scowled at the lack of acknowledgement he received and strode over to the couch, draping his arms over Tom as he leaned over his back.

“Honey, I’m home!” he giggled.

“So I gathered from the off key whistling earlier,” the older teen deadpanned.

Harry pouted and licked Tom’s cheek before quickly pulling away before the older teen could hit him. He giggled at the glare he received and blew Tom a raspberry.

“So, where are my parents?” he asked, looking around expectantly.

“Your father had the _incredible_ idea to hypnotize the mayor and have him rename the town Joker City,” Tom told him flippantly, returning to his book.  
“Your mother tried to bust him out and ended up back at Arkham too. It’s been just me in here since I arrived.”

“Boohoo for you,” Harry sneered, glaring at Tom.  
“What? Trying to bust them out is beneath you?”

“Indeed it is.”

Harry growled in annoyance and plopped down on the floor in front of the couch, spreading out entirely at Tom’s feet as he continued to glare scathingly at his ‘cousin’.

“You’re so fucking full of it! I seriously regret resurrecting you sometimes.”

Tom sneered and glared back at Harry at the comment. He slammed his book closed and leaned down, grabbing the younger teen by his still fiery bright hair as he pulled him up on his knees.

“Don’t make a mistake, Harry!” he hissed dangerously, almost blowing spit in the boy’s face.  
“I didn’t _need_ your help! Even if you would have tried to stop me, I’d still be here, and you would be dead!”

“Keep thinking that, pervert!” Harry spat back.

“Now that’s not very nice, considering you’re the one moaning like a whore whenever I fuck you,” Tom scolded mockingly.

Harry rolled his eyes and shuffled a bit closer, resting his head on Tom’s lap as he stared up at him expectantly.

“Help me get them back out,” he demanded.

“I don’t think you quite understood the dilemma I’ve had. I had to be _civilized_ to _muggles_ for the past couple of days,” Tom drawled, staring down at Harry.  
“Even that little friend of yours kept hounding me, demanding I’d come over to his _manor_! I don’t understand how you can stand having that _brat_ around all the time.”

All the while as he was complaining, he guided Harry’s head closer to his crotch, a very clear sign of what he wanted from Harry. The younger teen grunted annoyed and pushed back against the insisting hand, not in the mood to pleasure the other when both his parents were locked in the Asylum.

“I’ll help you if you suck me,” Tom told him calmly.

“… Fine. But I’m doing it under protest,” Harry grumbled reluctantly.

Grumbling under his breath, Harry undid Tom’s trousers and pulled his soft dick out. Glaring up into Tom’s cold dark green eyes, he bent down and licked the flesh before wrapping his lips around it and sucking softly. Tom groaned in approval and his cock started to quickly harden inside Harry’s warm, wet mouth. Harry hollowed out his cheeks as he went down on the hardening flesh before coming back up and popping the cock out of his mouth.

“You’ll need a disguise when we go save them,” he said.

“We’ll figure that out when you’re done,” Tom grunted annoyed.

The older teen insistently tugged Harry’s hair, indicating he should go back to what he was doing. This earned him an eye-roll before Harry obeyed and took his erection back between his lips, swirling his tongue around the head before sliding down deeper until it hit the back of his throat.

“Merlin! Your mouth feels great! I should have you do this more often…”

Harry grunted and scraped his teeth against Tom’s shaft, making the older teen groan and buck in slight pain. The action earned him a slap to the side of his head and Tom grabbed his hair tighter, forcing him down all the way, making Harry gag. Tom started fucking Harry’s mouth in earnest, pumping his hips into the younger’s throat, moaning in pleasure before he stuttered and spilled his seed inside the hot, wet mouth of the 13 year old. Harry pulled back and spit the cum out at Tom’s feet, hacking and coughing.

“That was fucking disgusting!” he growled.  
“Don’t ever do that again, or next time I’ll bite your dick off.”

“You love my cock too much for that,” Tom mocked.

Harry didn’t answer. Tom was right after all. At least Harry could take some kind of victory out the fact that Tom had sounded very breathless in that statement, so he wasn’t as unaffected by Harry’s actions as he liked Harry to believe either.

.              .              .               .              .

No matter what, Child’s Play would always love riding Fluffy. The giant three headed dog was always such a pleasure to play with and he could _run_. He was faster than a car! And honestly, it was even better with Tom clinging to his back so tightly Child’s Play started thinking that maybe the older teen was scared. Even if he’d never admit it.

Tom was in disguise as well, charmed his appearance to look more snake-like. White and pale green scales made out his skin and his nose had become entirely flat, with only two slits left. His hair was straighter and coarser and was a dark green while his eyes were blood red with slit pupils like that of a snake.

“Arriving at Arkham right now!” Child’s Play said in his most piloty voice.  
“Thank you for flying Air Fluffy and have a wonderful day!”

“Bloody moron,” Tom huffed annoyed as he jumped off Fluffy’s back.

Child’s Play smirked as the older teen staggered a bit on shaky legs. Yeah. He definitely hadn’t enjoyed the ride like Child’s Play had.

“Sea-sick?” he asked teasingly.

Tom glared and turned away.

“I’ll take the hyenas and bust them out, you and Cerberus stop the Batman and his little friend.”

Child’s Play giggled and saluted before turning towards the arriving police cars and one sleek black Batmobile. Batman and Robin jumped out instantly and took on battle stances. Child’s Play grinned at the both of them and patted Fluffy’s side.

“Sick ‘em, boy!” he roared gleefully.

With a loud growl, Fluffy charged at Batman, who was barely able to dodge all three heads. Shots were fired at the large dog, but his collars were charmed to protect him from bullets so they didn’t harm him. Meanwhile, Child’s Play could focus on his favorite nemesis. The heroic boy immediately started off with throwing several throwing stars, which Child’s Play dodged all effortlessly, laughing mockingly while he did some cartwheels.

“At least _try_ , Bird Brain!” he teased.

“Fuck you!”

Child’s Play grinned and rushed forward, catching Robin by surprise as he disarmed him quickly and grabbed his ass.

“Will you be gentle?” Child’s Play asked innocently.

He let Robin go again when the dark haired teen kneed him violently in the crotch and he stumbled a few steps backwards. Just then, the alarms of Arkham Asylum went off, followed shortly by the sounds of rioting inmates escaping the premises. The police all spread out to try and catch as many of them as possible while Batman was still fighting Fluffy a bit further away.

“That was quick,” Child’s Play noted surprised.  
“Looks like we’ll have to cut our playdate short!”

He dodged another throwing star and started running back towards the street, whistling loudly for Fluffy to finish up. The three headed dog barked and slammed into Batman full force, no doubt breaking e few ribs in the process.

“You’re not going anywhere, Child’s Play!” Robin shouted, running after the green haired Crime Prince.

Child’s Play laughed as he was taken down by the other boy and quickly rolled on his back, throwing his arms around the boy with a coy giggle.

“Will you miss me if I leave?” he asked teasingly.

“I’d be holding a giant party if you were gone forever, but I’m never that lucky.”

Child’s Play pouted and put a hand on his chest.

“How hurtful!” he said in a fake sad tone.  
“I’d almost think this relationship is one-sided, that you don’t love me.”

“If this is how you show love, I think I’ll pass,” Robin grumbled.

He struggled to get out of Child’s Play’s grip, but the green haired boy just laughed again and clung harder. His grip was like an inescapable iron vice. Robin growled in anger and struggled harder. Child’s Play laughed again and pulled up his goggles with a wide grin.

“Wanna know how I show love?” he purred seductively.

Robin’s eyes widened behind his domino mask when the young criminal leaned in and molded their mouths together. The dark haired Boy Wonder gasped in shock and tried to pull away, but the young Prince Criminal just moved with him. He took advantage of Robin’s moment of shock to worm his tongue into Robin’s mouth and licked the backside of his teeth.

Robin gave a pathetic whimper as Child’s Play rubbed his tongue against Robin’s tongue and went slack in the Crime Prince’s grip. Child’s Play smirked and deepened the kiss, gently urging Robin to move his tongue in a passionate dance with his own. For a few moments, the Boy Wonder’s mind blanked and when his brain came back online, he gave a squeak as he realized he was actually kissing back.

Robin jumped away and slapped both his hands over his mouth, blushing furiously. Child’s Play chuckled and licked his lips.

“That was fun,” he said casually.

“T-that- You can’t- Only one person can kiss me!”

Child’s Play raised a brow and chuckled.

“Oh? Bird-boy has a girlfriend?” he asked.

“NO!” the boy shouted, blushing brighter.

Child’s Play scowled when he noticed how embarrassed Robin was. He stepped forward, curious, but the Boy Wonder quickly took two steps back, glaring at him.

“We’re not… together…” Robin confessed warily.  
“I don’t have any idea what we are… but you’re not hi-”

“ _Stupify!_ ”

The spell his Robin’s back and he toppled over. Tom, disguised as the teen Voldemort, stood behind the unconscious boy, his wand raised and a deep frown etched in his snake-like features.

“We’re leaving, _Child’s Play_ ,” the older teen said coolly.

With that, Tom turned around and started walking away. Child’s Play huffed and followed after him. He could already see Joker help Harley climb on Fluffy’s back while the two hyenas stood guard. A bit further to the forest side, Child’s Play also noticed another figure slipping away, making him smirk before putting up a pouty face for Tom.

“But it was just getting interesting!” he whined.

“I noticed,” Tom snorted, sending a side-ways glare at the younger.  
“If you’re that desperate for a good fuck, I’ll screw you nice and long when we get back.”

Child’s Play grinned widely and stepped closer, clutching onto Tom’s arm and pressing his entire upper body against the older.

“You were jealous~”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You were!”

“Was not.”

“Were too~! You like me!”

“Any ‘like’ I had towards you is drastically dwindling with every word you speak. I like you better moaning.”

.              .              .               .              .

It already long past midnight when everyone in the Joker Household was finally sound asleep. Except, of course, for the youngest member. Harry was careful not to wake anyone as he snuck through the house underneath his Invisibility Cloak.

Once he was out of the home’s wards, he apparated to the docks, where another dark figure was already waiting for him. He pulled the Cloak off himself, grinning as Crane raised a brow at the sight of Harry’s Superman pajamas. Malinda piqued up from Dr. Crane’s shoulder, her yellow eyes glinting in happiness.

 ** _*Hatchling! Did everything go well?*_** she asked as she slithered closer.

Harry chuckled and gently picked his snake from the other villain’s shoulder, letting her wrap around his own neck instead.

 ** _*Everything went perfect. Thanks for the help,*_** he said.

“I never saw a snake disable security before,” Crane said.  
“You taught her that, or was it your father, kid?”

Harry smirked at the man known to most of Gotham as Scarecrow.

“Malinda and I have a special bond. Besides, my dad doesn’t know I bust you out too.”

This only seemed to interest Scarecrow even more.

“And why exactly did you break me out?” he wanted to know.

“I want you to teach me how to overcome my fears.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This happens in the Young Justice, Episode 19: Misplaced. I might later write a story of all of Harry’s run-ins with the Young Justice Team. I’m not entirely sure though. We’ll see how much time I have left after reading all my other stories.


	58. Happy New Year

“Happy 17th birthday Tom!” Harry said cheerfully, hugging the older teen.

“Thanks,” Tom replied stiffly, looking suddenly _very_ uncomfortable.

Harry of course knew why that was. Both Tom and Joker had never celebrated their birthday in their youth. The orphanage, as far as Harry was aware, didn’t do anything special for anyone’s birthday since most kids there didn’t even _have_ one in the first place, and at school, the two of them had never really bothered with making friends who would care enough to remember.

Well, Harry happened to like birthdays, and you could say whatever you wanted, he cared about Tom. That was why he had planned something for him.

“I’ve got a present for you~” he sang happily.

Grinning, he brought out a cardboard box and handed it to Tom, who accepted it warily. The older teen peered inside and scowled.

“You got me a turtle?” he asked annoyed.

“Yup! His name is Voldetort!” Harry said grinning.

“... Of course it is…”

“Cute,” Joker chuckled.  
“Got anything for me?”

“Another year of my awesomeness!”

Joker threw his head back and laughed loudly while Harley giggled amused. Still grinning, Joker looked over to Harley and pulled her down on his lap.

“Remember when we just adopted the kid?” he asked chuckling.  
“So shy and insecure… And look at him now! **_Our boy is growing so fast_**.”

“An’ aint that the best present ever?” Harley giggled.

“Meh. I could have gone for a new car,” Joker shrugged.  
“Or a little fun out in the town. What do you say, Kid?”

Harry grinned darkly.

“Happy Birthday, dad.”

.              .              .               .              .

Tom had decided to stay home while Harry went out with his parents, saying that he could just as well get a head start on his schoolwork. He’d scolded Harry for not doing the same, but then Joker scolded Harry for even considering bailing on ‘his birthday outing’. The following argument that happened after Tom called Joker a bad father was pretty hilarious.

And so, Child’s Play had joined his parents with picking out a nice new sport’s car in the local car shop. The Joker was casually browsing the options while Harley was bashing the alarm system to make it stop wailing while Child’s Play was having fun trying out the motor bikes.

Of course, the police was quick to arrive. Just one car at first, since it was only a simple break-in, or so they thought. Child’s Play stopped the bike and looked over to his dad, who was lounging in a shiny blue convertible.

“Get those cops off our backs, Harley,” he said lazily.

“I’m on it, Mistah J!” Harley chimed before running out.

“Shouldn’t I help her?” Child’s Play asked curiously.

“There’s just two of them,” Joker replied with a shrug.  
“Just give your mom a minute and she’ll have them down.”

He barely said that or one could hear shooting and shouting coming from the street, right before the door flew open and Harley walked in, dragging the two unconscious officers with her. Joker laughed and jumped out of the car.

“Good job, Harl!” he cheered.

Harley dropped the men and swung her giant mallet over her shoulder with a proud grin.

.              .              .               .              .

They had all expected Batman to show up, but not that he would wait until they were already back on the road. The two police officers were still back at the shop, having breathed in enough Joker Gas to kill an elephant. Joker had gone for a Ferrari, while Child’s Play had picked himself a Honda CBR 1000 RR motorbike and was driving behind his parents.

“ _Kid, stop them for me, will ya_?” Joker said through the com.  
_“Nothing drastic. Just delay them and then get home. Don’t get caught.”_

“Easier said than done,” the teen grumbled.  
“It’s two against one here, you know!”

_“I give you permission to use magic as long as you can keep it low-key.”_

Harry grinned.

“Got it,” he said gleefully.

He stopped his bike and turned to stare straight at the oncoming Batmobile. It stopped with screeching wheels in front of him, making Child’s Play grin maniacally. He straightened his goggles and stepped off the bike before pulling out his toy gun.

“You guys wanna play a game?” he asked innocently.

“Child’s Play. Get out of the way,” Batman ordered lowly.

“No can’t do, Mr. Batman!” Child’s Play giggled, wagging hi finger.  
“Daddy told me to keep you two right here, so that’s what I’ll do!”

“You’re going to take us both on?” Robin snorted.  
“Dude! You can’t even win against me alone!”

Child’s Play scowled.

“Hey! We’re going up fifty-fifty!” he shouted offended.

“And how are you doing against Batman? Ever won?” Robin taunted.

Child’s Play narrowed his eyes and shrugged. With a wide, deranged grin, he raised his toy gun.

“There’s a first time for everything,” he said before shooting.

Batman dodged the bullet, but the young Prince Heir of Crime had already anticipated that and had put some magic behind the shot, making the bullet explode mid-air. Batman and Robin were both catapulted in two different directions.

The Dark Knight hit the wall of a building with a harsh ‘thump’ and Child’s Play grinned. With a manic smile, he snapped his fingers and the already cracked wall came thundering down on top of the dark vigilante of Gotham.

“Batman!” Robin yelled, running over to the rubble.

“See? Just one hit!” Child’s Play laughed.

Robin looked over with a hateful glare. Slowly, he stood up and took out his throwing stars. Child’s Play smirked and dropped the gun and switched for his juggling pins. He wasn’t going to lose to Bird-brain this time around.

He ducked underneath the two thrown objects and slammed his club in Robin’s side before the other was able to dodge. The dark haired sidekick cried out in pain as some of his ribs probably cracked and fell to the ground, clamping his injury.

“How do you like it? I made them _extra_ heavy!” Child’s Play laughed.

That, and he used magic to hit even harder than he usually could.

“F-fuck you!” Robin groaned as he tried to get back up.

“Gladly,” Child’s Play grinned.

He ducked low when Robin tried to hit him and kicked his legs out from under him before jumping on top of his nemesis and straddling his waist. He leaned down, only for Robin’s eyes to widen and turn his head away with a growl. Child’s Play scowled and sat back up.

“I know, I know. Only one person’s allowed to kiss you,” he sighed.  
“But you can just tell whoever they are that I’m not good at listening.”

He leaned down again and pecked Robin on the lips. Child’s Play wanted to deepen the kiss, but sadly, the rubble started to move as Batman tried to dig himself free. With an annoyed sigh, he got off the young hero.

“Looks like we’re gonna have to cut our date short,” he told Robin, patting his cheek condescendingly.  
“Now you be a good birdy, alright? Eat your vegetables, go to school and don’t do drugs.”

With that, he jumped up and skipped over to his bike. He quickly mounted it before he looked back over with a bright grin.

“And don’t have sex without telling me!” he called, cackling as the motor roared to life.

.              .              .               .              .

Bruce opened the door when Harry rang and smiled at the dark haired boy.

“Happy New Year, Mr. Wayne!” Harry greeted happily.

“Good to see you too, Harry,” the man chuckled.  
“Dick’s upstairs. It got late last night with the celebrations.”

“No problem! I’ll go wake him up,” Harry said eagerly before running off.

Yesterday, he’d had a pretty late night too, with Batman and Robin chasing him around through half the city. Eventually, he’d gotten away from them by driving up a staircase, where they couldn’t follow with their car. After that, he’d charmed his bike to become invisible and rode back home, but by then, it was already past two in the morning. Of course, Tom had to be a total dick and wake him up at 6 to ‘train’, which basically meant that Tom wanted to take the opportunity to beat his ass Karate style.

He was still sore from his beat up by the way.

With a devious smirk, he snuck silently into Dick’s room, where the other teen was still sleeping peacefully. It was time he took his revenge for that wake-up call the day after his birthday. After taking a look around to make sure that no one was around to stop him or warn Dick, Harry crouched down and jumped.

“WHAAAAH!” Dick screamed as Harry landed on top of him.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty!” Harry greeted before ending in a fit of giggles.

The face Dick was making was too hilarious, and Harry fell off the bed cackling maniacally. The other dark haired teen scowled and pouted, but started chuckling too as Harry fell head-first on the floor next to his bed and shouted in surprise and pain.

“That’s karma, Harry!” he teased.

“And you’re an asshole,” the other pouted.

He climbed back on the bed and sat down cross legged next to Dick, who was looking weirdly at him. Harry blinked and ruffled his hair in confusion.

“What? Is there something on my face?” he asked.

Dick chuckled and shook his head, making Harry sigh loudly in relief.

“Thank god! I was scared I had a pimple or something!” he said.

“You’re so weird, Harry,” Dick laughed.

“And you love me for it!” Harry replied teasing.

Instead of laughing with his friend, Dick turned quiet again with that question, making Harry frown in confusion again. There really was something odd going on with his friend.

“Kiss me.”

Harry tensed and gave Dick a strange look.

“Last time I did you hit me,” he replied.

Dick blushed and shrugged his shoulder impishly, giving Harry a weak smile.

“You don’t like me like that, so why do you kiss me?” he asked instead of answering.

“Because you’re my best friend and I like kissing in general,” Harry said with a chuckle.  
“I feel comfortable kissing you because you mean a lot to me and I want to be close to you. There is no need for romance, just a very close and real friendship. Why do you want me to kiss you?”

Dick smiled and moved to sit a bit closer to Harry.

“To remind myself that you’re here always, even if you’re not.”

More wasn’t needed to convince Harry, and the boy moved forward to gently mold their lips together. The kiss was soft and sweet, completely different from the dirty mouth-fucking Child’s Play had given Robin. Dick moaned softly into Harry’s mouth, who gladly swallowed any noise. He threaded his hand in Dick’s hair, pulling the other closer as he opened his mouth wider.

After a few seconds, they separated. Dick gave a soft sigh, blowing hot air against Harry’s still parted lips and he opened his eyes again, smiling at Harry.

“Thanks,” he said in a soft whisper.

“No,” Harry answered, smiling back.  
“Thank you, Dick. That was just as much a reminder for me as it was for you.”

.              .              .               .              .

The train back to Hogwarts was a complete bore, so Harry spend it in a separate compartment with only Draco, telling all the awesome things he’d done during break.

“-And I didn’t get arrested once!” he crowed proudly at the end.  
“This is probably the first holiday I didn’t end up in Arkham!”

“Congratulations,” Draco replied dryly.  
“And how’s Tom doing? I send him a birthday card.”

“He couldn’t stop laughing when he saw it,” Harry chuckled.  
“He said you’re a lot braver than he gave you credit for to write him after he almost stole your soul!”

Draco blushed and shrugged weakly.

“Us Malfoys know when to set aside our differences when it benefits us in the long run,” he explained.

“And my family can be _very_ beneficial,” Harry agreed.  
“… Or you end up in Azkaban or Arkham, but there’s never been a prison that could hold us, HAH!”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was pretty confused, when watching the Gryffindor table to see Hermione and Ron sitting on opposite sides, glaring at each other. They’d been getting increasingly friendly over the past few months, but it seemed that their friendship had hit some rocks again.

“You look… inquisitive, Harry,” Luna spoke as greeting.

“May we inquire what has you in such an inquisitive mood?” Fred asked amused.

Harry chuckled and made room for his three non-Slytherin friends.

“I was just wondering what was up with Hermione and your little brother,” he said shrugging.

“Ah! Well, you’ve seen Hermione’s new pet, right?” George started.  
“Giant red part-Kneazel named Crookshanks… Can’t have missed it.”

“I saw,” Harry agreed grinning.

“And you realize what cats eat? Or at least ones as big as that,” Fred asked.

Harry’s eyes widened as a lightbulb went on and he started laughing.

“Rats!” he exclaimed cackling.  
“So did kitty eat him yet?”

“Nope!” Fred laughed.

“But not from lack of trying,” George added.  
“That thing looks obsessed with poor Scabbers.”

Harry laughed loudly, making the entire Hall stare at him weirdly.

“I love it!” he shouted gleefully.  
“The drama. So pointless and perfect!”

The amused chuckle from Professor Lupin had Harry look up and he grinned at his teacher.

“Careful, Harry. People might start thinking you’re not quite sane,” he warned amused.

“That would simply mean they have the right idea, Professor,” Harry replied smirking.  
“But I don’t think you’re one to talk about being entirely normal, **_right, Moony?”_**

Lupin tensed, his eyes widened in shock and Harry smirked in accomplishment. He had been correct in his guess. Remus Lupin, the werewolf, was Moony from the Marauders Map. Which meant, if Tom’s research skills were to be trusted, that his biological dad, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had been Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail. He only had yet to figure out who was who and why those names…

He got up and packed his stuff together, smiling innocently at his still wide-eyed teacher.

“Thanks for the confirmation, Professor,” he said before walking off.

Draco, Luna and the twins followed him while the rest of the Slytherin table watched them go with confused stares.

“What was that all about?” Draco asked confused.

“ _Moony_?!” George exclaimed in a harsh whisper.

“Professor Lupin is Moony from the Marauders?!” Fred asked shocked.

Harry smirked and nodded his head.

“Wicked!” the twins breathed in unison.

“Can someone tell me what this is about?!” Draco hissed annoyed.

Harry smirked and pulled out the Map.

“Sex can buy you some awesome stuff,” he said, making Fred and George howl out in laughter.

 


	59. Godfather

Making the potion was the easy part, Harry decided. And so was sneaking into Snape’s office to mix it with Lupin’s Wolf’s Bane Potion. No, the hard part would be getting Snape to drink it too. In the end, he had to involve Draco so he could use Dobby. The Hogwarts House elves wouldn’t be suspicious to see another house elf add something into Snape’s pumpkin juice. The shivery, twitchy thing was ecstatic to be able to help ‘Mr. Harry Potter’ out, so once Dobby had popped away, Harry turned towards Draco.

“When he’s done, punish him,” he ordered blankly.

Draco scowled confused.

“Why? Isn’t he doing what you wanted?”

“He called me ‘Potter’ again,” Harry sneered.

Draco huffed out a laugh and shrugged.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to do as good of a job as your dad did, but I’ll do my best,” he said amused.  
“Dobby was a useless, shivering mess for weeks after we got him back! Father was very annoyed with him.”

Harry’s grin stretched and became very dark.

“Good,” he growled gleefully.

.              .              .               .              .

The next morning, both Lupin and Snape constantly talked in movie quotes. Dracula, to be more precise. Harry looked on with a wide, terrifying grin as both teachers jumped up from their seats halfway through breakfast and started shouting at each other.

“You think you can destroy me?” Snape sneered at Lupin, glaring hatefully.  
“I, who served the Cross. I, who commanded nations, hundreds of years before you were born.”

“Your armies were defeated. You tortured and impaled thousands of people,” Lupin replied.

“I was betrayed! Look what your God has done to me.”

“No. Your was with God is over!” Lupin bellowed.

Snape seemed to snap out of the enchantment of the potion first and he scowled angrily as he let his eyes rove over the many students. He paused at the Weasley twins, who were both laughing their asses off along with Lee before finally coming to a halt at Harry and narrowed his eyes. With an angry huff, he swung his cloak over his shoulder and strode out the Great Hall.

Professor Lupin sighed and shook his head mournfully.

“We’ve all become God’s madmen, all of us,” he muttered.

This had Harry falling out of his seat, howling with laughter.

“Well said, Professor Van Helsing!” he crowed.

.              .              .               .              .

“No Exploding Snap when other students try to study, Malfoy, Zabini,” Hitchens said, glaring at the two boys.

“Then you should study in the Library,” Draco sneered at the older girl.

Hitchens crossed her arms over her ample chest and glared at blond.

“I happen to be a Prefect,” she hissed, pointed at her badge pinned to her breast.

Harry looked and licked his lips. It was hard not to see, really. Her tits were some of the biggest from all the girls in Slytherin. Even bigger than Sadie Hollow’s. The Hufflepuff 7th year ex-captain of the Quidditch team. And hers were already pretty big…

“I like Exploding Snap,” Harry said innocently, looking up at the girl’s face with difficulty.

He wanted to stare at her breasts for a bit longer. Her face was a lot less attractive. Not that she was ugly, but she wasn’t pretty either. She smiled at Harry and he grinned back.

“Alright. Just keep it down a bit,” she relented easily.

With that, she turned around and walked away, her hips swaying a little too much to be casual. Harry watched her go with dark eyes while Draco huffed annoyed next to him. it was no secret that the blond Malfoy Heir was no fan of the new Prefect. Actually, a lot of people didn’t like her. Especially girls.

“I still can’t believe Hitchens made it as Prefect this year,” Draco muttered bitterly.  
“She thinks she’s all that because her great-great-grandmother was a Black. My _mum_ is a Black!”

“Wasn’t Bob Hitchens a muggle?” Theo asked frowning.  
“Elladora Black was kicked out of the family I think.”

Pansy and Daphne nodded, deep scowls on their faces.

“I heard Hitchens makes herself popular by sleeping with every guy who is interested,” Pansy sneered.

Harry perked up and looked over to the girl. She had pale brown hair and hazel eyes and had a nice curvy body. She was tall and pretty good-looking if you ignored her buckteeth and pasty skin. She had her own charm, though it was deeply hidden underneath layers of haughty pride. He smirked. He’d love seeing a girl like her on her knees worshipping him. As long as he didn’t catch anything of course.

“Isn’t she worried about STD’s?” Harry asked.

The others all stared at him in confusion.

“ST-what?” Pansy asked dumbly, scowling at Harry.

“Sexually Transmitted Deceases,” Harry replied.  
“Or is that something only muggles have to worry about? I know we don’t get sick as easy.”

“Pretty sure we don’t get sick like that,” Blaise mumbled.  
“If we did, mother would have said so when she gave me the ‘talk’ last summer.”

Harry laughed and raised his brow. He had been given the ‘talk’ when he was 9, after the baby fiasco. It was funny that now that there really was a baby, he was happy to have a little sister instead of worried he’d be replaced. Well, he was still worried about that of course, but he’d cross that bridge when he got there. He’d make himself irreplaceable to his parents.

“I’ll ask,” he muttered, pulling out his notebook.

Everyone besides Draco looked confused while the blonde shuffled a bit further away, eyeing Harry and his book warily. Harry just laughed and started writing.

 _[Dad, I need to ask you something._  
It’s really important.  
A matter of life and death.]

 _[What is it?]_ the response came shortly after.

_[Can a wizard catch an STD?]_

This time, an answer took longer, and Harry could easily imagine his dad laughing at the question.

“What are you doing?” Pansy asked curiously.

“He’s writing his father,” Draco muttered in reply.

“You talk to him with that?” Daphne asked shocked.

_[No. We can’t get any muggle illnesses except cancer, the bubonic plague and, funnily enough, the common cold.]_

_[Awesome! Thanks dad!]_

_[Use anti-conception potions though! They’re not just for girls and much better than condoms.]_

Harry chuckled and clicked his pen a few times before answering while he vaguely listened to Draco telling the others about his adventure with Harry’s dad the year before. Though he kept the insane clown streak and the house elf torturing quiet.

_[Will do.]_

_[Go get them kiddo.]_

Ignoring the further conversation of his friends, Harry stood up. All noise died down immediately and his friends stared at him.

“Where are you going, Quinn?” Draco asked confused.

“Telling Hitchens I’m interested,” Harry replied flippantly.

The boys roared in laughter as Harry made his way over to the brunette Prefect girl, smirking at her. Hitchens caught his eye and smiled back, a knowing glint in her eyes. It looked like she already knew what Harry wanted, and she gave a soft nod in agreement, making Harry’s grin widen. This would be a lot of fun.

.              .              .               .              .

Around noon, while Harry was walking Luna to the library for a book he needed for Ancient Runes, they were caught by Snape.

“See me. See me now,” he said, glaring at Harry.

Harry’s lips twitched, but he tried to keep a blank face as he looked at his very angry-looking teacher. Then, he let an expression of fear come over him.

“My God, who are you? I know you,” he gasped dramatically.

“I have crossed oceans of time to find you,” Snape replied, his brows furrowing in frustration and Harry couldn’t help but smirk.

The potion really was still working perfectly, and Snape probably hadn’t been able to find any cure for it, though he bet he had tried his best. It was, after all, a potion he had created over the summer together with Joker and Tom.

“Oh, Count!” Harry giggled, swooning.  
“I never knew you were so romantic!”

Snape hissed, but refused to reply, knowing that it would just be another quote from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Luna, next to Harry, giggled amused, making Harry grin wider.

“I condemn you to living death,” Snape hissed through gritted teeth.  
“To eternal hunger for living blood.”

“As long as I don’t get detention,” Harry replied shrugging.

Snape glared angrily at him and turned away, his robes billowing menacingly as he walked away. Harry laughed amused at the retreating form. It was likely that Snape had tried to give him detention or deduct points, but “50 points from Slytherin” was never uttered during that movie.

“You become less aware when you’re having fun teasing people,” Luna noted.

Harry raised his brows in surprise.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes. Professor Snape called you ‘Potter’ and you didn’t even notice.”

Harry tensed at that, his eyes widening in horror.

“That son of a fuck!” he exclaimed.  
“Revenge will be mine, mark my words!”

.              .              .               .              .

Like usual, Harry went on his morning run pretty early the next day. Unlike usually, no one joined him. They’d have a game in a week, against Hufflepuff, but both Blaise and Draco had told him off when he tried to wake them up for a run. And he didn’t have Fluffy to visit anymore either…

As he ran, he was wondering if he should look for the Hippogriff Buckbeak and visit him instead. Or maybe he should go and try to destroy what was left of the Acromantula nest in the Forest… He’d been letting Sigrun run free out there and kill as many as possible while he cheered her on. The big one, Aragog was so angry when he’d shown up the first time riding the Basilisk early that year. He’d yelled that he would tell Hagrid, so Harry had Sigrun kill the annoying daddy spider. He’d even collected the Acromantula venom and given it to his dad as a birthday present.

Loud barking at the edge of the Forbidden Forest had Harry pause. His eyes lit up when he saw the large black dog staring at him from between the trees. It was the one he’d seen at the train station before he’d gone home for Christmas.

“Doggie!” he yelled happily, running over.

Inside his inner pocket, Malinda started squirming. She popped her head out just as the dog had turned around and disappeared between the bushes.

 ** _*He doesn’t fully smell as dog,*_** the snake warned.

 ** _*Then let’s go find out what he is,*_** Harry replied.

He walked into the Forest, keeping a wary eye on his surroundings while still appearing naïve and cheerful on the outside. If that dog was an Animagus, he would appear caught off guard. He wanted to make them feel in control so he could get them easier.

 ** _*If he attacks, bit them without venom,*_** Harry ordered.

 ** _*Why? If he attacks, he deserves to die in agony,*_** Malinda replied confused.

Harry chuckled.

**_*Because I can’t question him when he’s dead.*_ **

Malinda hissed amused and snuck back under Harry’s clothes, ready to pounce. Shortly after, Harry reached a clearing and he looked around himself in confusion.

“Doggy?” he asked innocently.

As he had expected, he was grabbed from behind and a hand was clamped over his mouth. Instantly, Malinda shot out of hiding and bit the assaulter’s lower arm. The man shouted in pain and shock and stumbled back before falling over a loose rock and falling on his ass. Harry turned around, his wand tightly gripped in his hand as he pointed it at his assaulter.

He wasn’t at all surprise to look into Sirius Black’s dark eyes with an insane glitter in them that was no doubt due to his past 12 year in Azkaban. He had a gaunt, sunken face, waxy skin, yellow teeth, and long, matted hair. Harry chuckled at the shocked expression the man made and pocketed his wand.

“Malinda is by birth a regular Garden Snake. Pretty much harmless,” he said smirking.  
“However, she’s my familiar, which gives her some magical properties, combined with my dad’s obsession with poison and potions, she’s grown bigger than the rest of her kind and is probably one of the most venomous snakes in the world.”

Black paled, as far as that was still possible with how white his skin already was. Harry gave a soft laugh and pulled out his illegal wand, throwing it down on the ground next to Sirius. He wasn’t able to use it anyway.

“I killed you, so why don’t you finish what you came for? Then we’re even,” he said grinning.

Black grabbed the wand and got back to his feet. Malinda hissed threateningly at him, but Harry just stood unflinchingly as Black stared at him with sad eyes.

“I would never kill you, Prongslet,” he whispered.

Prongslet. So James Potter had probably been Prongs. Black was no doubt Padfoot, since he was a dog Animagus, which made Peter Pettigrew Wormtail. Like rat tail. Harry grinned wider.

“No? Then why are you here?” he asked.

Black gripped the wand tighter and glared over Harry’s shoulder.

“I want to kill Peter,” he growled bitterly.

“Rumor has it you already did,” Harry pointed out amused.

Black’s dark eyes snapped over to him again. He could see the insanity swimming in them, much like they did with his dad. If he could get Black on his side, he was sure his dad would love to meet him.

“That coward cut off his own finger and escaped!” Black shouted angrily.  
“He betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort and set me up! He was their Secret Keeper!”

Harry cocked his head. That was some interesting info.

“Does Pettigrew happen to be a rat Animagus?” he asked, his mind racing.

“Yes! I saw him in the Daily Prophet this summer, in a Weasley’s hands. A rat missing a toe!”

The Weasley Twins had told him about that. Their family had won a trip to Egypt and their picture had ended up on the front page of the paper with an article about their prize. Harry threw his head back and laughed loudly.

“Scabbers is Pettigrew!” he exclaimed amused.  
“That’s why you targeted Gryffindor Tower instead of the Dungeons!”

He sobered up right away and glared at the escaped convict.

“That still doesn’t explain why you attacked me just now,” he hissed, pointing his Holly and back at the man.

“I heard you talk at the train station,” Black confessed quietly.  
“You were talking so casually about how your ‘parents’ were either arrested or had forgotten about you, and that you got back to school with bruises sometimes. I thought-…”

“You thought I was abused and tried to kidnap me?” Harry finished chuckling.  
“Funny… That’s pretty much what my dad did too… But, you know. The Dursleys actually did abuse me.”

This had Black tense up and his eyes widened in horror.

 _“They put you with that hag?!”_ he exclaimed horrified.

“Just for a few years. Mom and dad saved me,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“They’re not exactly model parents, but they’re mine and I love them.”

Black relaxed again and smiled.

“That’s good, I suppose,” he mumbled.  
“I’m really happy I got to see you and talk to you before I die.”

Harry blinked in confusion, before he remembered and started laughing.

“You’re not dying!” he giggled.  
“I told Malinda not to use venom in her bite!”

Black’s eyes widened in shock.

“You did?! Why?” he asked.

“I’m a Slytherin,” Harry replied smirking.  
“A little deceit to get what you want isn’t really a big deal. I figured it’d be easier to get you talking if you thought you were dying.”

Black chuckled softly at that and held out the wand.

“And why did you offer me to kill you?” he asked.

“Because that’s a special wand only I can use.”

This had the convict laugh amused. He sounded like a dog when he did, which had Harry laugh as well.

“That means I can still get Peter!” Black crowed.

“Won’t be as easy as you think,” Harry said thoughtfully.  
“He disappeared. Ron thinks Hermione’s cat ate him.”

“Doubtful,” Black said growling.

Harry smirked.

“All we have to do is flush him out,” he said.  
“I’ll get my friends on finding him and you hide somewhere. When we got him, I’ll meet you somewhere.”

“The Shrieking Shack,” Black said right away.  
“You can get to it through the secret passageway-”

“-Under the Whomping Willow. I’ve got the Map,” Harry cut him off.  
“I expect you also know how to get past that thing without being clobbered to death.”

“Absolutely do!” Black barked laughing.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry found himself intrigued as he stared at the indigo wrapped chewing gum that lay innocently on Lupin’s desk. It wouldn’t have been an issue if it hadn’t been for the little note next to it saying ‘ _WARNING: DO NOT EAT’_

“Fuck it,” Harry mumbled as he grabbed the candy.

He was hungry from having missed breakfast because his long conversation with Sirius and too curious for his own good so put the gum in his mouth. He instantly regretted it when he felt like a rush of hot water streamed down on him, even though he stayed completely dry and shortly after, he started swelling like a balloon. Harry gave a yip in surprise and tried to spit the gum out, only to find it stuck to his teeth. Within ten seconds, his arms got stuck in the fat as he slowly became as round as a ball.

The lights went on as the door opened and Lupin and Harry’s classmates walked in. Thanks to the extra light, Harry could see he was entirely purple and he gave a weak chuckle. The whole class was roaring with laughter, but Harry could still hear Blaise and Theo above the rest. He’d get them for that later.

“Did you like the bubblegum? It was blueberry,” Lupin asked amused.

“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Nice one Professor,” Harry slurred.

Professor Lupin smirked and turned towards the other third year Slytherins.

“And what can we learn from this?” he asked them.

“Not to cross you, sir?” Pansy suggested nervously.

Draco walked over to Harry and picked up the note before snorting.

“That Quinn is an idiot?” he asked smirking, waving the paper around.

“Both very close!” Professor Lupin laughed.  
“Every action has a reaction. Harry pulled a prank, so I got him back.”

With that, he pulled out his wand and flicked it towards Harry. With a high whistling sound, Harry started flying around the room as air left his blown up body. Several of the students had to duck away or he’d have smacked into them. Once he was completely empty again, he landed on the floor, where he stayed lying for a few minutes, trying to catch his breath. When he opened his eyes, Lupin was leaning over him with a smile and held out his hand, which Harry accepted gratefully to pull himself back to his feet.

“The color will wash away in a few hours, don’t worry, Harry,” the teacher said with a grin.

“No problem! This was really fun!” Harry laughed.  
“Can I get some of that gum? I have some people I’d love to try it on!”

If his eyes happened to stray over to where Blaise and Theo were seated when he said that, it was completely by accident.

 


	60. The Hufflepuff Keeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Harry Potter/Patricia Stimpsen, First Time
> 
> This scene will be entirely at the end of the chapter. I’ll put up a warning at the start. If you don’t want to read it, you can stop there.

 

“I don’t get why you want us to find a stupid rat,” Flint said as he got dressed again.

The entire Slytherin House was called out to help find Scabbers, though most were pretty annoyed by it. Still, none dared to go against their King. Astoria and Luna helped as well, and so did of course Fred, George and Lee.

Harry lay on his bed, watching the older teen with hungry eyes. They’d just finished fucking, but he was pretty much ready to go again. He guessed he could go find Elladora Hitchens or the Weasley Twins later. He could of course bother looking for another person worth fucking – pretty much half Slytherin was on his list of wanting to do, but he didn’t want his sexual escapades to get out yet. It would be too much trouble if this went out. He’d lose a bit of his innocent credibility.

“Does it matter why I want you guys to find me that rat?” Harry asked Flint amused.  
“You’ll do it no matter what I say anyway. That’s how this works. I’m King after all.”

“You’re a little brat is what you are,” Flint growled, glaring at him.

Harry laughed and rolled over on his back. His head was hanging over the edge of the bed, making that he was looking at his former Captain upside down.

“A little brat you’ll have to listen to if you want his ass again!” he teased.  
“You’re not my boss anymore, Marcus. You do what I say, or I’ll make your last year hell.”

Flint scowled and stepped closer, looming over with an angry look in his eyes. He had his pants back on but was still shirtless and Harry couldn’t help but lick his lips in want.

“You’ve got some bloody guts, Quinn,” he growled.  
“No one threatens me and gets away with it.”

Harry grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Just try something, Marcus. We’ll see who comes out on top,” he said casually.  
“Either put on your shirt and get out, or take off your pants and fuck me again.”

“Don’t order me around,” Flint hissed, but he still undid his belt again.

.              .              .               .              .

After breakfast, Harry joined the rest of the team in the locker rooms to get ready for their game against Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff had last month, for the first time in six years, won against Gryffindor. Diggory was a pretty good player after all, and since the Gryffindor Seeker, Hopkins, had quit last year after Harry beat in his skull, they had to use a less talented Seeker instead. Fred and George had been pretty upset, but they didn’t blame Harry even for a moment.

“Hopkins was a prat anyway,” Fred had said, shrugging.

“I guess I rather lose than play with him anymore,” George had agreed.

At any rate, Harry had agreed with them to avenge them in this game and totally beat Hufflepuff. He was already looking forward to the carnage he could create.

The two teams came out under loud applause and Harry skipped around the field grinning widely as he waved at the crowd. He could hear the Weasley twins whistle loudly and he gave a little twirl, shaking his hips coyly, much to the amusement of the crowd, who all howled with laughter.

“Looks like Quinn’s all ready for the game!” Lee announced chuckling from the commentator stand.

“Captains, shake hands!” Madam Hooch called out.

Adrian Pucey stepped forward and offered his hand to Cedric Diggory. The two observed each other coolly before stepping away from one another and mounting their brooms as the rest of the teams did the same.

“On my whistle!” Hooch said before counting off from three and blowing loudly on the whistle.

The two teams took to the air right away and Harry got into position to steal the Quaffle as soon as it was thrown in the air. Adrian and Blaise flanked him instantly. He was the fastest in the entire team, with Draco as a close second. It was what made the blond such a good Seeker after all. Harry saw his friend higher up in the air, together with Diggory.

The Quaffle entered the game and Harry dove at full speed to the ball. He got there right before Zacharias Smith, a year mate of his that had made the team this year for Hufflepuff. He made sure to bump the other, making it look like he was just unable to dodge with the speed they were both going at and smirked as the other lost his balance and almost fell.

Bole took that moment to slam a Bludger against the tail of Smith’s broom, making him spin out of control and the other Chaser had no option but to let go of his broom and fall those last 6 feet to the ground. There was a lot of booing from the bleachers, but none of the Slytherins payed it any mind.

“Smith is already out of the game, but I’m sure he’ll get on his broom again soon!” Lee announced.  
“Quin’s got the Quaffle, he ducks under Stebbins’ Bludger, dodges Lily and Entwhistle and passes to Zabini… He shoots… Stimpsen saves! Lily in possession…”

Harry made chase to the Hufflepuff girl, but it was a well-aimed Bludger from Derrick hitting the girl in the shoulder that had her drop the Quaffle into Adrian’s hands.

“Pucey has the Quaffle and he makes towards the Hufflepuff goals… Ah. Stopped by Entwhistle… passes to Quinn…”

Harry ducked underneath another Bludger and passed two of the Hufflepuff Chasers. Another Bludger came his way and he threw the Quaffle up in the air as he rolled over, flying upside down. He could see Lily coming for the air born leather ball, but before she could reach, he kicked out with one foot and scored, much to the shock of the crowd.

“Quinn scored the first points of the game in the most spectacular way! Scored in the middle of a Sloth Grip Roll!” Lee shouted excitedly.  
“That’s 10 to 0 in Slytherin’s favor! … Ah, Smith’s back on his broom and he’s got the Quaffle. Will he be able to score back?”

Blaise was the closest to Smith and took chase right away, with Adrian following right away. Both Bole and Derrick tried hitting Bludgers at the 3rd year Hufflepuff, but Smith dodged the first and Stebbins caught the second.

“Pass to Lily… But Pucey intercepts… and there he goes!”

Harry and Blaise were quick to flank their captain and the three flew side by side towards the Hufflepuff rings. Even from halfway the Pitch, Harry could see Patricia Stimpsen’s eyes widen in fear.

“The Slytherins are going for a Hawkshead Attacking Formation,” Lee commented eagerly.  
“Will they score… Oh no. There’s Entwhistle and Stebbins… What’ll they do now?”

Harry started slowing down instantly until he was flying behind Adrian, and the Captain passed at him over his shoulder, not even looking back.

“A perfectly executed Reverse Pass from Pucey and Quinn!” Lee shouted.

Harry smirked and started flying upwards. They’d been practicing this specific routine for months now, and they’d perfected it to a tee. Just as they were supposed to, Entwhistle and Smith chased after Harry, who kept ascending. Some thirty feet off the ground, Harry suddenly threw the Quaffle downward and Blaise caught it, racing off to the goals along with Adrian and Sue Lily in their tail.

“A Porskoff Ploy! And the Hufflepuff Chasers fell for it!” Lee exclaimed awed.  
“Zabini in possession… dodges Stebbins and a Bludger… passes to Pucey… Score for Slytherin!”

The game continued like this for a while longer. Harry had a lot of fun playing several feints, confusing the Hufflepuffs at every switch and turn he made. He lured Lily to chase after him before diving suddenly, forcing the 4th year girl to fly straight into a Bludger. She had to be taken off the field with a broken cheekbone.

Her younger brother, Kyle Lily, and Stebbins, were after him for that one. Harry chased the two Beaters around the Pitch, giving Adrian a chance to score again. After that, Smith got a chance to score too, and so did Entwhistle.

As Smith was again in possession, Adrian and Blaise started flying on either side of the teen and Harry came flying head on in collision course. Smith’s eyes widened and pulled up while Harry dove underneath his classmate and caught the dropped Quaffle, which he then scored into the goal.

“Quinn steals the Quaffle from Smith after a Parkin’s Pincer and scores!” Lee announced.  
“That makes 120 to 20 in Slytherin’s favor! Diggory better catch that Snitch soon or they’re lost!”

Just at that moment, Diggory dove down to the ground with Draco right in his tail. Harry scowled and watched the ground, searching for the golden sheen of the Snitch, but couldn’t spot it.

“Diggory saw the Snitch!” Lee shouted.  
“Malfoy’s right on his heels though… Oh!”

Just before reaching the ground, Diggory pulled up. Draco struggled to do the same, and did so just in time, but his broom started swiveling dangerously in how fast he had to pull up. Harry cursed.

“A Wronski Feint!” Lee shouted shocked.  
“He’s flying up again… THERE IT IS! The Snitch!”

Indeed, this time, Diggory indeed was after the Snitch, and Draco was too far to catch up.

“The Slytherin team must have been caught very off guard! Entwhistle scored again while the three opposing Chasers were watching their Seeker hurtle to the ground!”

The crowd laughed and Harry cursed angrily. He turned his broom around and went after Smith, who was holding the Quaffle. He ducked right by his side and grabbed the Quaffle out of the other boy’s arms without making a fault and he flew up to the goals. He had to score and hope that Bole or Derrick could stop Diggory.

“Quinn’s got the Quaffle! He dodges Entwhistle, he dodges Stebbins… Diggory dodges Bole’s Bludger… Quinn shoots! … Stimpsen saves and DIGGORY CATCHES THE SNITCH! HUFFLEPUFF WON! WHAT A GAME! HUFFLEPUFF BEAT SLYTHERIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SEVEN YEARS!”

.              .              .               .              .

“Well done up there, Harry!” Sirius crowed as soon as Harry came to visit him in the Shrieking Shack.

Harry grinned and allowed the man that was supposed to be his Godfather hug him. He’d noticed the large black dog near the edge of the Forbidden Forest after the game a few hours earlier.

“Thanks! But we didn’t win, so that’s a bummer,” he sighed.

“That had nothing to do with you, pup,” the man said cheerfully.  
“That one was all the Seeker! You know. Your dad was a Seeker.”

Harry pulled away and looked at Sirius with a blank expression.

“No. My dad was a Beater. James Potter was a Seeker,” he said.  
“Nothing against the people that put me on this earth, but I’m really sick of everyone trying to compare me to them.”

Sirius looked dejected at those words and he pouted a little.

“James was my best mate,” he muttered.  
“If I hadn’t told him to switch Secret Keeper to Peter-…”

Harry kept in a sigh of annoyance. Of course the man had to be one of those people struck with guilt… But maybe he could use that to his advantage.

“You couldn’t know,” he said, putting up his most sympathetic face.  
“Pettigrew fooled everyone… There’s nothing you could have done.”

“I could have accepted when James asked me to be a Secret Keeper.”

“Then they still would have died and so would you,” Harry replied blankly.  
“At least now I got to meet one more friend of my birth parents. Isn’t that the most important?”

Sirius chuckled and sat down on an old couch, pulling Harry with him by the wrist.

“You’re right,” the man said, grinning.  
“You’re my Godson. I’d do anything for you, pup.”

Harry had to keep the smirk from forming on his face. That was exactly what he had hoped for.

“Thanks, Sirius,” he said.

.              .              .               .              .

As Harry crawled out from under the Whomping Willow and started his trek back to the school, he paused when he saw Patricia Stimpsen sitting near the Green Houses, staring at the Forest behind it with a small happy smile.

Harry scowled. Why wasn’t she with her teammates celebrating her win? It didn’t really matter, he guessed. This was a pretty good moment to ensure his ‘nice guy’ reputation with the other Houses. Wouldn’t want Dumbledore to get suspicious of him of course.

“Hey!” he shouted, waving cheerfully at the girl.

Stimpsen looked up startled, but started smiling when she saw it was him.

“Congratulations on becoming a Keeper, Stimpsen,” Harry said cheerfully.  
“You guys won fair and square. No small part thanks to you.”

The brunette smiled and blushed, tucking a strand of her curly hair behind her ear. Harry smiled at how easy it was to flatter this girl. From the things he heard of other kids, Patricia Stimpsen was very insecure, a hard worker who did everything to be anything but mediocre but never managing to do so.

“You did a really great job for a first game,” Harry said smoothly.  
“Actually, you did a great job period. Even for more experienced players.”

Stimpsen blushed harder and bit her lip as she looked at Harry through her lashes. The sexy expression send a spark of arousal up his spine. If all he needed to do was compliment her to get in her panties, he’d gladly do it.

“You’d think a smart, beautiful girl like you would have no other talents, but you keep surprising me at every turn,” he said teasingly.

“I’m not that smart…” Patricia mumbled.

Harry laughed and raised a brow.

“Sure, you’re not getting straight O’s, but who does?!” he asked, thinking of Hermione and Tom, but not saying it out loud.  
“You’re doing good at all your classes, right? I only know from the praises I hear from the older snakes of course.”

Patricia smiled brightly and batted her eyes at Harry, making the younger teen smirk. He took a step closer until their chests were almost touching and gently reached for the girl’s face, tilting it up. He leaned down and pressed their lips together in a soft, sweet kiss. Patricia sighed against his lips, almost making Harry pull away. He wanted it rough, but he could tell Patricia was a virgin, and that aroused him enough to keep it slow. Taking a girl’s virginity… That would be something to cross off his bucket list.

.              .              .               .              .

*****Sex Scene*****

Harry led Patricia into the Forbidden Forest to the small clearing where he’d met Sirius for the first time. There, he stopped and let go of the brunette’s hand. He smiled at her and kissed her again. Their tongues danced together for a while and Harry let his hand travel upwards to squeeze the girl’s right boob. A-cup, he guessed as he fitted the supple flesh in his palm.

“Are you alright with doing this here?” he asked shyly as the disconnected.

Patricia nodded her head eagerly and let herself be led towards the ground. Harry gently pressed her on her back and crawled over her, trailing kisses from her cheek towards her lips before molding them together once more. He let his tongue dip into the girl’s mouth, and she moaned sweetly, grabbing the back of Harry’s head and threading her fingers in his hair. She pulled gently, urging Harry on and he started to kiss her harder, growling in her mouth.

One of Harry’s hands slid down Patricia’s body and hiked her school robes up her legs before dipping in and between them. He rubbed two of his fingers against Patricia’s pussy over her panties. This caused the girl to grab his hair tighter and she moaned a bit louder this time. The hand that wasn’t stuck in Harry’s hair moved to his chest and in the front of his robes. She slowly started to pull the dark fabric off his shoulders. Harry chuckled and sat up to help her take off his clothing.

He took his tie and shirt off himself once Patricia had pulled his robes off, taking his time in loosening the knot as he stared down at Patricia with hooded eyes and a seductive smirk on his lips. Patricia was blushing hard, staring up at him with wide eyes, her pupils blown up so much her blue irises were nearly completely gone.

Harry leaned down again, latching his mouth onto the girl’s neck, making the brunette whimper a bit while she grabbed his head with both hands, pulling him harder against her flesh. A soft laugh rose from Harry, making Patricia moan again while he started taking off her robes. He only pulled back to take off the girl’s yellow and blue tie and white shirt before pausing and smiling.

“I-it’s… It’s my first time,” he confessed quietly, blushing.

Patricia blushed even harder and bit her lip.

“Mine too,” she whispered.

She was wearing a light blue bra and sat up to unclasp the clasps in the back and take it off. Her breasts were nice and round, if somewhat on the smaller side of the scale. Her nipples were already erect, either from arousal or the chill of doing this outside. Harry leaned down and pressed his lips against one of the little mounts, kissing the little pink bud.

“We’ll go slow,” he ensured Patricia in a soft, nervous voice.

The girl nodded in agreement and moaned as Harry sucked her nipple in his mouth. He sucked on the little nub for a little while before popping it back out of his mouth and getting up to get rid of his pants. Patricia watched with hooded eyes and a bright blush. His cock sprung free, proud and erect, and Harry willed a blush on his face, as if he was embarrassed by the proof of his arousal.

Once he was completely naked, Harry crawled back over Patricia and his hand went back underneath the girl’s skirt. He slipped her panties off. Plain white ones, it seemed. Harry smiled and leaned in to kiss the nervous expression off the girl’s face. It seemed to help as she relaxed and Harry took the opportunity to press a first finger inside the girls pussy. She was already pretty wet and the tight squeeze had Harry’s cock harden even more than it already was. He wanted to be inside her.

He held off on his own want and instead took his time slowly stretching the girl. First with one finger, then two and eventually three fingers. Only once he was sure that he wouldn’t be hurting her too bad did he pull away.

“Is… is that good?” he asked nervously, playing the shy virgin.

Patricia bit her lip and nodded. Harry smiled and sat back up, lifting himself up on his knees a bit as he started jerking himself off. Patricia stared in trance up into his eyes as Harry slowly slid in the folds of her pussy, both of them moaning. Patricia’s face scrunched up in pain and Harry paused, his eyes widening in fear.

“Are you alright?” he asked worried.

“Y-yeah… just… stay still for a little,” Patricia replied quietly.

Harry nodded and sat completely motionless as he watched every little expression on Patricia’s face with big, innocent eyes. She was breathing harshly through her nose. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Patricia gave a soft little whimper and moved her hips upwards. Harry moaned at the feeling of his cock sliding a bit deeper into the girl.

“A-alright?” he choked out.

It was so damn hard not to just start fucking her roughly. Patricia didn’t notice Harry’s dilemma and nodded her head with a small smile. Harry grinned back at her and started pushing in again. He went slow and stopped again every time Patricia looked to be feeling discomfort. She always urged him to keep going though.

He was a little over halfway in when he felt something stopping him inside of her. He smirked, unworried that Patricia would see, since she had her eyes closed. He drew back a little and thrust in roughly. Patricia threw her head back and screamed as Harry broke through her hymen, and Harry quickly wiped the grin off his face, plastering a worried, terrified expression in its place as eh stopped thrusting.

“What? Are you alright? I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed horrified.

“It’s ok,” Patricia panted.

Harry sighed in relief and started moving again. He kept his pace slow and his movements gentle and soon enough, he had the girl moaning again. They continued like that for a while longer before Patricia’s moaning changed in pitch and she started moving her hips more frantically as she grabbed Harry’s arms in a tight grip, digging in her nails.

The slight edge of pain added had Harry moaning too and he slammed harder into the girl. Patricia’s eyes snapped open and she came with a long, drawn out scream and a shudder. Harry thrust a few more times before pulling out and finishing himself off with his hand.

“That was amazing,” the girl gasped, smiling at Harry.

“It was!” Harry agreed.  
“We should do it again sometime.”

The brunette stopped smiling and grabbed her clothes together.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she mumbled.

“Why not?” Harry asked scowling.

Patricia put her bra back on and gave him a soft smile.

“It was great, but I want more than just sex,” she said.  
“I can tell you’re not interested, so I think we should keep it with once.”

Harry’s frown deepened, but he nodded in understanding. The girl chuckled a little and kissed Harry’s cheek.

“I’m happy I gave you my virginity though. It was amazing,” she confessed blushing.

“I’m happy I gave you mine too!” Harry lied cheerfully.  
“And if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me!”

“I will,” Patricia laughed.

She dressed further and Harry did the same. He just zipped up his pants when he thought of something and he looked back over at Patricia, who just tied her tie.

“Can we keep this a secret?” he asked.  
“I have a feeling that the story of how Harry Potter lost his virginity would get a lot of publicity, and I doubt you’ll want that either.”

Patricia frowned and nodded.

“I won’t tell,” she said.

With that, she left, kissing Harry one last time. Harry didn’t bother watching her go as he buttoned up his shirt and grabbed his robes. He did look up, however, when he heard Malinda his out a snaky laugh.

 ** _*She was loud,*_** the snake said a bit disgruntled.

 ** _*Did anyone hear?*_** Harry asked.

 ** _*Only me and Dog-man,*_** Malinda replied. ** _  
*He fled right away, though.*_**

Harry chuckled and ruffled his bright fiery hair with a grin. So Sirius walked in on him fucking a girl in the Forbidden Forest. That would be a fun talk next time they saw each other.

 


	61. The Traitor

Harry was sitting with his friends in the back of the common room. The others were all doing homework, even Luna, but Harry was calmly reading his book on Necromancy, still disguised as a muggle sci-fi novel.

He was just reading about the drawbacks of resurrecting a creature with higher brain functions when the entrance opened and the Weasley Twins strode in, wide grins on their faces and one of them carrying a rat. All the heads of the Slytherins present turned towards them and they scowled. Adrian Pucey got up from his seat and so did Hitchens, who had been seated on Flint’s lap, making out with the burly 7th year.

“What are you two doing here?” the slutty Prefect hissed.

Apparently she was still sore that they had told Harry she’d blabbed last year. At least she didn’t act so bitter when she fucked Harry, though most of her moans did sound really fake and that kind of turned him off. She did make up for it with experience though.

“Early birthday present for the King!” Fred announced.

George laughed and walked over to Harry, kneeling down in front of him and he held out the rat.

“Your Majesty,” he said humbly, offering Scabbers to Harry.

“Well done,” Harry said regally.  
“You both please me. I shall reward you by granting one wish.”

“How about telling us why we had to bring our brother’s pet to you,” Fred suggested grinning, leaning over Harry’s seat.

“Yeah. It wasn’t easy catching him, you know. Bloody thing was quick,” George muttered.

“Malinda’s hungry,” Harry replied shrugging.

The rat gave a horrid squeak and jumped from George’s hands, biting the redhead’s finger as he tried to escape. Instantly, half the Slytherin common room was on their feet, running all around and diving to catch the escaping rodent.

“Got him!” Adrian announced proudly, holding the now unconscious rat up.

Harry laughed and clapped his hands excitedly.

“Well done! Give him to me!” he said, holding out his hands.

Adrian handed the rat to him and flashed a wide grin before joining his friends again. Harry got up from his seat and threw his book to Draco.

“Keep this safe for me, will you? I’ll be back in an hour or something,” he said.

“You’re going out on your own?!” Pansy cried out horrified.

“It’s almost curfew and Black’s still out there,” Daphne pointed out worried.

Harry smirked and held the rat closer to him.

“Don’t worry about me,” he told his friends.  
“ _I_ ’m going to be just fine. **_Trust me._** ”

.              .              .               .              .

“Happy birthday!” Harry yelled as he walked into the Shrieking Shack.

Pettigrew was still out of it, and Harry was going to keep him that way until he had to wake him up to progress in this whole game. The rat was a kind of side-quest, Harry decided amused. If he did the quest right, then he was awarded with new party members. At least one, maybe a surprise second if he was lucky. He really hoped he was lucky though.

Just like all the other times he had come here, Harry took his time to look around. His eyes fell on a wooden chair near them. Large chunks had been torn out of it; one of the legs had been ripped off entirely. There were claw marks on the walls too, making him grin. Sirius had already told him that Lupin used this place for his ‘furry little problem’, so maybe he’d see him again tonight too.

He went upstairs, to the room Sirius had decided to occupy. Last time he’d been in there was a few days after his game with Hufflepuff. Sirius had been very awkward the entire time and even tried starting ‘The Talk’ which Harry had been quick to cut off, saying his dad had already given it to him. Still, Sirius had to ask if he knew all the protection charms and potions.

He found his Godfather lounging on the creaky, dusty bed and was momentarily tempted to send a little exploding hex at it to make it cave in, but then Sirius was on his feet, grinning widely.

“You got him!” he exclaimed happily.

“Yeah. But don’t kill him till I talked to him,” Harry said as he handed Sirius his Holly wand.

The man grinned darkly and accepted the wand, weighing it in his hand for a moment.

“Just don’t take too much time, alright, pup?” he muttered.  
“I’ve waited 12 years for this moment. I want my revenge.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry sighed.  
“’I will have my revenge!’ That’s boring…”

He put the rat on the floor and aimed his Basilisk Scale wand at it.

“Enervate!”

The rat jumped up instantly and started running for the door.

“No!” Sirius screamed, pointing the wand and sending a silent blasting spell at the rat.

Harry did the same, and together, they chased the presumed-dead Animagus all around the room. Once or twice, they stumbled over each other, until suddenly, the door swung open and Lupin stood there, staring at them in horror. Scabbers took the chance to scrambled towards the Professor and the now open door, but Harry shouted and went after him.

“Don’t let him escape!” the teen yelled frantically.

“Get him!” Sirius screamed, also jumping.

Lupin jumped to the side, just as Harry dove and grabbed Scabbers by the tail.

“Hah! I got him!” he yelled happily.

“What in the world is going on?!” Professor Lupin exclaimed loudly.

Harry and Sirius looked at him, two equally blank expressions on their faces.

“Moony, please,” they said in unison, making the DADA teacher scowl confused.

“We’re in the middle of avenging my birthparents,” Harry told his Professor.

“And getting revenge for twelve years of Azkaban,” Sirius added with a growl.

Lupin stared at the two with wide eyes, his expression perplexed. If the situation wasn’t so serious, Harry would have laughed at it. In fact, he still did. Just an amused chuckle, but still enough to make Lupin’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline as he stared at the fiery haired teen.

“Long story short, Sirius never betrayed James and Lily Potter,” he started, grinning widely at his Professor.  
“He didn’t come here to kill me, which should have been obvious from the moment he targeted Gryffindor Tower instead of the Dungeons. He was after Scabbers, the rat that has lived with the Weasley family for the past 12 years and misses a toe from his front paw.”

“Peter?” Lupin asked shocked, eyes widening even further.  
“He’s alive, but how?”

“The coward escaped me!” Sirius replied in an angry hiss.  
“Cut off his own finger to make people believe I killed him!”

“But why didn’t he show himself for all these years?” Lupin asked.  
“Why stay hidden even after you were arrested?”

Harry smirked and swung the rat in Lupin’s face.

“That’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” he asked amused.

Lupin looked over to Sirius and his expression turned sad and pained.

“You switched places without telling me,” he whispered.

“It was my own suggestion,” Sirius said, frowning.  
“I figured that since I was James’ best mate and Harry’s Godfather, I would be too obvious a choice. Peter was always overlooked by everyone. I thought that would make him the perfect Secret Keeper.”

“I simple mistake that cost several lives,” Harry shrugged.

Sirius winced, but Harry didn’t look at him. Instead, his attention was aimed at the rat in his hand. With a sadistic little smirk, he prodded its soft belly with his wand, sending a stinging hex at it and making Scabbers shriek in pain. He giggled a little and did it again.

“I knew it!”

Harry, Sirius and Lupin all tensed and looked over to the door, where they found Snape standing, his wand out and glaring at them.

“I expected Lupin to have helped you, Black, but seeing Quinzel here doesn’t surprise me either,” he drawled coldly.

Snape was slightly breathless, but his face was full of suppressed triumph.

“You're wondering, perhaps, how I knew you were here?” he asked, his eyes glittering.  
“I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along. And very lucky I did... lucky for me, I mean. I remember this was where you used to come in our school years, so I decided to join you for a moment.”

“Severus-“ Lupin began, but Snape interrupted him.

“I've told the headmaster again and again that you're helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin, and here's the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout-”

“Severus, you're making a mistake,” Lupin tried desperately.  
“You haven't heard everything. I can explain… Sirius is not here to kill Harry-”

“Two more for Azkaban tonight. Perhaps Quinzel will be joining you too,” said Snape, his eyes now gleaming fanatically.  
“I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this.... He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin... a tame werewolf-”

"You fool,” said Lupin softly.  
“Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?"

BANG! Thin, snakelike cords burst from the end of Snape's wand and twisted themselves around Lupin's mouth, wrists, and ankles. He lost his balance and fell to the floor, unable to move. With a roar of rage, Sirius started toward Snape, but Snape pointed his wand straight between Sirius’ eyes.

“Give me a reason,” he whispered.  
“Give me a reason to do it and I swear I will.”

Black stopped dead. It would have been impossible to say which face showed more hatred.

“Here’s a good reason,” Harry drawled coldly.  
“ _Stupify!”_

Snape was unable to react in time and he crumbled up on the floor unconscious. Sirius took the moment to get to Lupin and help him free himself before turning back towards Harry, who was staring at Snape with a deep scowl of annoyance.

“That fucker’s been getting in my way since last year,” he muttered bitterly.  
“He was suspicious after the incident with the Chamber and tried using Legilimency…”

Sirius hissed angrily at that, making Harry chuckle and tap the side of his head with his wand.

“It hurt him more than me,” he laughed.  
**_“Never enter the mind of an insane person.”_**

He sobered up right away after that and looked back at Scabbers, who had started struggling again. Harry cast another stinging hex at it, making it shriek again before he coaxed Malinda out of his coat and onto his shoulder.

“Look at this! Dinner, Malinda!” he said gleefully.

His snake reared up and stuck out her tongue towards the rat, who was now full on panicking.

 ** _*It’s disgusting, I refuse to eat it,*_** she hissed annoyed.

 ** _*We only need it to think you’ll eat him,*_** Harry replied amused.  
**_*Besides, it’s not a real rat, it’s a disguised human.*_**

 ** _*I know what it is,*_** Malinda told him, making Harry laugh.

“You-you’re a Parselmouth!” Sirius exclaimed shocked.

“Yeah. I’ll tell you about that later,” Harry replied dismissively.  
“First though, I want to have a talk with Peter. Or give Malinda a snack. His choice.”

Instantly, Scabbers started transforming into a human, making Harry drop him before he got too heavy. It was like watching a speeded-up film of a growing tree. A head was shooting upward from the ground, limbs were sprouting and a moment later, a man was standing where Scabbers had been, cringing and wringing his hands.

He was a very short man, hardly taller than Harry. His thin, colorless hair was unkempt and there was a large bald patch on top. He had the shrunken appearance of a plump man who has lost a lot of weight in a short time. Something of the rat lingered around his pointed nose and his very small, watery eyes. He looked around at them all, his breathing fast and shallow. Harry saw his eyes dart to the door and back again. With a smirk, Harry stepped in front of the entrance, blocking it off and watched amused as Pettigrew cringed back as Malinda hissed threateningly at him.

“S-Sirius... R-Remus...” Pettigrew squeaked, his eyes darting to the door again.  
“My friends... my old friends...”

Sirius’ wand arm rose, but Lupin seized him around the wrist, gave him a warning took, then turned again to Pettigrew.

“What happened that night exactly, Peter?” he asked.  
“The night James and Lily died?”

“Remus,” Pettigrew gasped, and Harry could see beads of sweat breaking out over his pasty face.  
“You don't believe him, do you...? He tried to kill me, Remus....”

“So we've heard,” Lupin said, coldly.  
“I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, Peter, if you'll be so-”

“He's come to try and kill me again!” Pettigrew squeaked suddenly, pointing at Sirius, using his middle finger, because his index was missing.  
“He killed Lily and James and now he's going to kill me too.... You've got to help me, Remus....”

Black's face looked more skull-like than ever as he stared at Pettigrew with his fathomless eyes.

“No one's going to try and kill you until we've sorted a few things out,” said Lupin.

“Speak for yourself,” Harry muttered dryly, twirling his wand between his fingers before pointing it at Pettigrew’s chest.

The rat of a man tried to jump away, but Harry was faster than he was.

_“Avada Kedavra!”_

The two adults stared at the bright haired teen in shock as Pettigrew fell dead on the ground. Harry just stared coldly at the corpse before turning to address his teacher and Godfather.

“I’m not interested in hearing his excuses,” he said shrugging.  
“I trust Sirius. If he’d really been the bad guy, he’d have tried to kill me when I told him to.”

Lupin made a choking sound at that, making Harry smirk.

“We’ll leave him somewhere he’ll be found and Sirius can hide out here until the end of the year,” Harry decided.  
“I’m sure my dad won’t mind if I offered you a place at our home. I can give you my Cloak and you can come back with the Hogwarts Express hidden underneath it.”

“That’s-… Thank you,” Sirius whispered gratefully.

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry sighed, before realizing something and turning to Lupin.  
“But tonight’s a full moon, right? And Snape said you didn’t take your potion…”

Lupin’s eyes widened at the realization and he gave Harry a horrified look. The teen just laughed.

“Don’t worry about it!” he said cheerfully.  
“Sirius told me how he and James used to stay with you as animals, so you can stay here. I’ll take care of Pettigrew and Snape.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Sirius asked worried.

Harry smirked.

“Have some faith in me, please.”

.              .              .               .              .

The next morning, Snape woke up with a throbbing headache and no memory of what had happened the night before. He did, however, notice that his entire room was transformed to look like a cave, with life bats hanging off the dripping ceiling and a wooden plate next to the door saying _‘Welcome to Dracula’s Lair’_. He didn’t need to think hard to know it was Quinzel’s doing.

An hour later, as the Gryffindors went training on the Quidditch field, they were horrified to find the corpse of a believed to be long dead man lying in the middle. On his forehead was written _‘Hello, my name is Scabbers’_ in a black sharpie. Only Fred and George realized what this meant.

The Minister of Magic was called over, along with nearly the entire Auror department. An investigation was done, and by noon, it was proven that the man was indeed Peter Pettigrew, who had been believed to be dead for 12 years, however, any autopsy spell done on his body proved that he was only recently killed by the Killing Curse.

Thanks to Harry’s influence in Slytherin, several kids with politically powerful parents, came with the suggestions that perhaps Black had never been after Harry in the first place, as the man hadn’t once tried to get to the Dungeons, while the one time he had been sighted in the Castle, it was to try and get into the Gryffindor Tower, where the rat Scabbers had lived with Ron Weasley.

Fred and George were all too willing to proclaim that Scabbers had come to their home 12 years ago, missing a toe on his front paw and wounded. Fingers were pointed at Percy for having nursed him back to health and at Ron for having been very demanding to keep the rat even though he had suddenly gotten very sickly and tense after the news of Black’s escape had come out first.

The Weasleys all were horrified that their beloved family pet had in reality been a grown wizard who may or may not have been a spy for the Dark Lord. Harry, of course, swore up and down that he had absolutely no idea any of this was going on, but gladly shared his suspicions that Black was innocent and the ‘bad vibe’ he’d been getting off Scabbers since the beginning.

By the end of the week, the Dementors finally left as no one believed that Black would be hanging around after finishing the job he had come to do.

 


	62. Pet Dog

“So what’ll you do now?” Fred asked Harry curiously.

He was drawing circles on the younger teen’s naked chest while George hugged Harry from behind.

“Get Sirius to move in with me and my parents for now,” Harry replied calmly.  
“I already talked to them and they agreed. He’s a good guy, explained everything when we met. He didn’t want to kill me at all, just protect me from Pettigrew.”

“I still can’t believe Scabbers was really Peter Pettigrew,” George mumbled.  
“We had a murderer live in our home for 12 years and we didn’t even know it!”

Harry smirked and rolled over, grinning wickedly at the older teen.

“You’ve also been fucking one just now,” he said teasingly.

It was a gamble admitting this to the duo, but Harry was sure that they’d accept it without questioning it too much. Fred and George trusted him beyond what was healthy for them. They knew he was a Parselmouth, they knew he had full control over Slytherin House and they knew his parents were criminals, yet they still didn’t even think about turning their backs to him. They were loyal to him.

“What do you mean?” Fred asked surprised.

Harry looked back over at him and shrugged.

“Let’s just say it wasn’t Sirius that killed the rat,” he replied.

For a few moments, Fred and George stayed quiet as they took in this shocking bit of information. Eventually, Fred sighed and smiled at Harry.

“Well, he did sell you out to You Know Who,” he said.

“Honestly, I’d have done the same,” George added nodding.

Harry grinned. Such loyal dogs.

.              .              .               .              .

Just like he’d done with Tom the year before, Harry joined Sirius an hour before the train left. Luna and Draco were both joining them. Draco on his own request, and Luna had been awaiting them outside the common room, a dreamy smile in place and telling them she’d been looking forward to meeting Sirius for a while already. Neither Slytherin even tried questioning how Luna knew they would be visiting the convict right then.

“Padfoot!” Harry called as they entered the Shrieking Shack.  
“I brought the Cloak and some friends I thought you might want to meet!”

Sirius appeared in the doorpost to what had once been a bedroom and grinned when Draco jumped a little at his sudden and ragged appearance.

“That one’s no doubt the Malfoy kid,” he said amused.  
“Looks exactly like Lucius my cousin Cissa married… Draco, right?”

“Pleasure,” Draco sneered tensely.

Harry laughed and threw an arm over his friend’s shoulder.

“Why so tense, Drakey?” he asked amused.  
“I told you right? He’s an innocent man!”

“And you think your word is enough?” Draco asked incredulously.  
“The entire bloody school knows you are a pathological liar!”

Harry smirked and shrugged his shoulders before dancing away from his friends.

“To be honest, I don’t give a shit if he’s innocent,” he admitted.  
“In fact, if he killed my parents, or those 13 muggles, it would make things a lot more interesting.”

Sirius tensed and stared in shock at Harry while Draco’s eyes darted fearfully between the adult wizard and Luna, who was observing them all with a curious expression. He jumped forward right away and grabbed Harry’s wrist tightly.

“Shut up, Quinn!” he hissed softly.  
“You want word about your real personality to get out!?”

“Calm down, Draco!” Harry laughed.

“Calm down?! Your father will kill me!” Draco exclaimed high pitched.  
“I’m tasked with keeping the real you hidden! Do you want to kill both of them to keep it a secret?!”

Harry looked over to Sirius and Luna and grinned.

“I doubt we’ll need to do that,” he said chuckling.  
“I think I can trust both of them. Besides, **_who would believe them?_** A convict, driven insane by being exposed to Azkaban’s Dementors for over a decade, and a girl known for her delusions.”

Sirius balled his fists and his jaw clenched at Harry’s words. Harry smirked.

“I’m curious… Who killed all those muggles?” he asked.

Sirius looked away, his guilty expression already saying everything.

“I was just so angry at Peter…” he mumbled.  
“Couldn’t think straight past the need to kill him.”

“Father said you were of the Order of the Phoenix,” Draco said scowling.  
“Muggle-lovers led by Dumbledore to fight against the Dark Lord.”

Sirius snorted bitterly and glared at the blond.

“I’m a Black. I supported muggle rights only to anger my parents,” he admitted.  
“And I only joined the Order because of James. He was my best mate. The only _real_ family I ever had. Me and Remus… we were Dark, unlike the rest of the Order. It made everyone weary. We knew we didn’t belong, but we stayed for James.”

“That’s very admirable,” Harry said amused.  
“I like loyalty. Can I trust you with the truth? Like Draco says, it’s a rare thing for me to use.”

“Always, pup,” Sirius said quickly, looking at Harry with wide eyes.  
“You’re my Godson. I don’t care on which side you are, I’ll always be by yours.”

Harry grinned widely at that.

“In that case, I think I can tell you who I really am,” he said.  
“I’m Hadrian Quinzel, son of Dr. Harleen Quinzel, better known as Harley Quinn. I’m also Harrison Riddle, son of Jack Riddle, known under the name The Joker, brother of Tom Riddle, who later became Lord Voldemort. I watched as my parents killed the Dursleys when I was five and I killed for the first time myself when I was 10. Harry Potter is a name I was born with, but it means nothing to me. Can you still love me after knowing all that?”

Sirius had tears in his eyes, but he swallowed them down.

“Yes,” he said hoarsely.

Harry nodded pleased and turned to look at Luna.

“What about you?” he asked.

“What a silly question, Harry,” the girl giggled.  
“Of course I still love you! You’re my very first friend. That’s always something very special.”

Harry smiled brightly at her and then looked over to address Draco again, smirking at him.

“See? Told you I wouldn’t have to kill them,” he said smugly.

Draco rolled his eyes, but stopped as he saw Luna step up to Sirius.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Sirius Black,” Luna said airily, handing him a basket she’d been carrying.  
“When the Nargles told me we’d be coming to see you, I went and got some Treacle Tarts from the kitchen for you.”

Sirius’ eyes widened in shock and he took the basket from her.

“Funny… I’d been craving those for a few days now,” he muttered.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry held Luna’s hand as he excitedly skipped over to where his parents were waiting for him.

“Not so fast, Harry. Sirius can’t follow,” the blonde scolded giggling.

Harry slowed down a bit and couldn’t help but look over his shoulder, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to see Sirius, since he was hidden underneath the Cloak. He still didn’t get how Luna could ‘see’ through that thing. It was supposedly impossible.

“Baby!” Harley squealed, glomping Harry as soon as he came close enough.

Harry let go of Luna to hug his mom back excitedly. Meanwhile, Luna looked at Joker, who was holding little Hailey in his arms and smiled at them.

“She’ll be a nice addition to your family business, Mr. Joker,” she said airily.  
“And Harry and she will make a nice team. Joker and Harley 2.0, I think they said.”

Harry frowned and looked over at his friend.

“Who said that?” he asked confused.

“Pollux and Castor of course!” Luna replied smiling before she scowled.  
“Oh. I was wrong. Joker and Jester. Harley Quinn 2 will have red hair.”

“You know, you get weirder by the day,” Harry told her chuckling.

His mom was looking at Luna for a moment, before she walked over with a bright smile.

“Hello!” she greeted cheerfully.  
“Are ya my baby’s girlfriend?”

“MOM!” Harry shouted red-faced.

“No. I’m Harry’s… Bella?”

Joker laughed amused and patted Luna’s head.

“Looks like my kid can pick his friends nicely,” he said amused.  
“I can’t wait till I get to meet those Weasley Twins you keep talking about… speaking of your friends. Where’s your secret buddy?”

“Under the Cloak,” Harry replied grinning.

“Don’t make that a habit,” Joker said.  
“This is the last stray you’re bringing home.”

Harry pouted sadly, but agreed.

“Black’s an Animagus, right?” Joker asked.  
“He can change into a dog when we get to the Floo. There’s less people there. We’re all going to Norway until Tom gets out of school in two days.”

“Family outing!” Harry cheered.  
“See you next year, Luna!”

.              .              .               .              .

Harry exited the Floo in a Norwegian Wizarding Shopping District called _‘Magiveien’_ with Sirius, disguised as a dog. He was panting happily and eagerly followed Harry and his family to a non-descript looking motel at the edge of the District. Once they were inside the rented three bedroom room they would be staying at, Sirius turned back into a human.

“Did that Lovegood girl say she was going to be your Bella?” he asked immediately.

Harry blinked confused and scowled.

“Yeah,” he replied.  
“Do you know what that meant?”

Sirius was frowning unhappily and nodded.

“Bellatrix Lestrange, my insane cousin,” the man said slowly.  
“She was Voldemort’s right hand until he disappeared. She and her husband and brother in-law were arrested that same day, arrived in Azkaban together with me. They tortured Alice and Frank Longbottom to insanity, leaving their son parentless.”

“I like her already!” Joker laughed gleefully.

Sirius scowled.

“She was mad enough to _scare the Dementors_ ,” he said.  
“Taunted me every day from across the hall where her cell was.”

With that, he started grinning, showing off his yellowed teeth.

“She shrieked like a banshee when she had to watch me escape,” he added.

 


	63. 4th of July

Harry’s family didn’t celebrate Independence Day. Joker usually just saw it as the perfect day to mess some shit up, like he did with most holidays. People let down their guards on those days and it was easier to rob them blind. But this year, Harry’s dad was stuck in Arkham on this joyful day.

He wondered if he could maybe go find Sirius and hang out with his Godfather, since the man was currently living with them, but then he remembered that Harley had taken him out into town for the day to teach him how to take care of the pets. You couldn’t let a Cerberus run around in the house after all. He needed a lot of room and some humans to chew on. Why had Harry declined the offer to join them again? He should have joined them. He really should have!

Bored, Harry walked up to Tom, who was apparently heavily absorbed in his studies, since he had taken over the entire living room table with his books and papers. Harry wasn’t much interested in finding out _what_ exactly Tom was studying. The bastard was probably trying to think of a way to win back his Death Eaters or something lame like that…

“I’m bored,” Harry stated sitting on top of Tom’s books.  
“Go watch the fireworks with me.”

“No,” Tom told him, pushing him off the table.

Harry pouted and draped himself over Tom’s back instead, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

“How about I suck you off then?” he whispered huskily.

Tom gave a snort in disgust and pushed Harry away from him again.

“Go bother someone else, Harry,” he hissed annoyed.  
“And try not to come over as a cheap prostitute. It’s a big turn-off.”

Harry sneered in anger at the comment and stomped out of the room, slamming the door hard enough to make the whole house shake. Goddamn Tom and his stupid attitude. It was always about him and never about Harry. Harry had to bend over any time the older teen felt like it, but when Harry wanted it, he was suddenly a whore!

He jumped a bit when he heard his phone ring and quickly dug the device out of his pocket, grinning when he saw it was Gabe. Quickly, he pressed the answer button and brought the cellphone to his ear.

“You have no idea how happy I am you called,” he announced.  
“I’m bored as all hell and I need someone who wants to go see the fireworks with me.”

“… I actually hoped we could meet somewhere quiet so we could talk about something,” Gabe’s unusually quiet voice mumbled.

“Alright… can we first meet up to talk and then go to the fireworks?” Harry asked slowly.

“… Sure…”

“Awesome! I’ll meet you at the skating ring!” Harry said cheerfully before hanging up again.

Humming a happy tune, he walked to the front door, grabbing a hoodie on his way. It seemed like he was going to finally see the Independence Day Fireworks after all. At least, if his mom didn’t forbid him, since the blond woman was standing at the living room door and glaring at him in that motherly way, with her arms crossed over her chest, pushing her boobs even further up.

“Where are you going so late?” Harley demanded to know as Harry pulled his bright red hoodie over his head.

Harry grinned widely at his mom, not pausing as he stepped a foot into the faded orange sneakers next to the front door and he tied them quickly. All the while, Harley watched the young teen with an expectant expression. Apparently, she was back from her training session with Sirius, Fluffy and the Hyenas. He kind of wondered what Gotham thought of the constant new additions to their crazy little family, and if they ever noticed Tom joining, since he’d only went once when Harry busted his parents out last Christmas Break.

“I’m meeting up with Gabe to see the fireworks,” Harry replied.

“Alright. But ya better be back at midnight!” Harley muttered.

Harry gave his mom a bright smile and kissed her cheek before throwing open the door and running out, calling an ‘I love you!’ as he ran down the street. Gabe would be waiting for him near the skating ring downtown and from there out, they’d go to the park, where every year on the 4th of July, a big firework show was given. Almost everyone in Gotham would go, and since Harry never really had the opportunity to go before, he was really excited about it.

He kept running the entire time, his condition being at its peak, making Harry wonder amused if he should run a marathon, he’d probably do a better job than those obese office idiots you often saw joining Gotham Annual Marathon for Charity.

Only when the skating ring  came into view did he slow down. Harry walked up to where his friend was already waiting for him, leaning against the wall. Gabe looked nervous for some reason, which made Harry frown. Neither had secrets for the other, it was why they worked together so well, so what did the other have to be nervous about?

“Gabriel,” he greeted, using the full name of his friend.

This had the older teen tense immediately, eyes widening at the way he was addressed. Harry only ever called him Gabriel when he wasn’t interested in games, and a serious Harry was ten times as dangerous and unpredictable as a playful Harry.

“Hey,” the brunette greeted quietly, not looking up at Harry.

Harry didn’t greet him back. Instead, he stopped right in front of Gabe and waited, staring calmly at the older teen. Slowly, Gabe looked up and swallowed harshly, his brown eyes wide with worry and fear, making Harry scowl in curiosity.

“I-I need to tell you something…” Gabe started in a shaky whisper.

“What is it?” Harry wanted to know.

Was this something like a few years ago? Did Gabe think about leaving again and follow a different gang than Joker’s? Harry had been understanding back then, so he didn’t get why Gabe would think it was different now.

He stopped thinking about it when Gabe finally gained to courage to start talking again.

“Well… It’s not like I’m totally sure yet of course! I’m still only 15, and a lot of people aren’t sure about these things yet at this age, right? Maybe I’m just making the wrong conclusions, but it doesn’t feel like that I guess… it’s just…”

“For fuck’s sake! Spit it out!” Harry exploded annoyed.

Gabe jumped and paled. Harry clearly had enough of his beating around the bush all the time, and when he was out of patience, he tended to turn violent really quickly. Harry took a deep, calming breath and glared at the brunette teen in front of him.

“How bad can it be?” Harry eventually asked annoyed.  
“I told you I was a wizard, so I think I should be given the same trust as I put in you.”

Gabe nodded nervously and swallowed again.

“I-I like boys…”

Harry rose a brow and crossed his arms.

“So?” he asked blankly.

“I mean… I think I might be gay.”

“I got that part,” Harry snorted, making Gabe’s head shoot up in shock.  
“I’m just trying to wrap my head around how that would be bad or a big deal.”

“I-I just thought-…” Gabe muttered blushing, looking down at his shuffling feet.

“You realize I’m not exactly straight either, right?” Harry told him snickering.  
“I’m bisexual… and Hypersexual.”

“Hyper-what?”

“It means I fuck like a rabbit.”

This had Gabe fall silent and he stared at Harry with wide eyes and an open mouth. Harry let out a bout of giggles when he saw the expression of pure shock. He leaned a bit closer and wrapped his arms around Gabe’s neck, smirking teasingly.

“How about we find out just how gay you are,” he purred seductively.

Gabe just stared down at the smaller male, mouth still gaping as his mind tried to comprehend what exactly was happening. Harry just chuckled and pressed his lips against the other’s dipping in his tongue almost shyly.

It was like the action turned a switch in Gabe’s mind as he grabbed Harry roughly around his waist, pulling the boy closer and grinding their hips together. He thrust his tongue deep into Harry’s mouth, fighting the other’s wet muscle for dominance, but was easily allowed victory. As Harry moved back, Gabe growled and pulled him back, biting his lips savagely  and drawing blood, which he licked off afterward in a gesture that was almost apologetic. Only then did he release Harry, but still let his hands linger on the smaller teen’s hips, not wanting to let go entirely yet.

“How about we take this to someplace more comfortable?” Harry suggested with a sly grin.

“Sounds like a plan,” Gabe whispered huskily.

Harry chuckled and grabbed Gabe’s hand, leading him into the darkened street. The sun was already down at this point, and the streetlights – the few that still worked that is – were shining their weak, pale light on the asphalt. They didn’t go too far, finding a cozy looking home in the neighborhood. Just like all the houses around it, this one was doused in complete darkness since the owners were no doubt at the park for the firework show.

Harry quickly jumped over the fence and snuck around the house while Gabe followed slower behind him. The brunette looked around somewhat nervously while Harry knelt before the backdoor and pulled his illegal wand out of his pant pocket. This made Gabe scowl a bit, since Harry’s pockets were obviously not big enough to fit the long piece of wood, but he guessed that was just a magic thing. Bigger on the inside or some sci-fi crap like that.

“Alohomora.”

Grinning in victory, Harry swung the door open and strode inside, kicking off his shoes as he went and pulling off his hoodie. Gabe followed him, closing the door gently before taking off his own shoes as well. Though this was definitely not his first time breaking into a house, the thought of _why_ he was doing it this time made him both excited and anxious. He couldn’t help but stare at Harry’s back hungrily, licking his lips at the thought of being able to ravish the handsome young teen.

“Like what you see?” Harry teased as he turned towards Gabe.  
“For tonight only, you’re allowed to touch the merchandize for free.”

“Don’t mind of I do,” Gabe muttered smirking.

He closed the small space between the two of them and grabbed Harry’s hips roughly, grinded his clothed erection against Harry’s crotch, enjoying the groan he received from the younger teen. Harry threaded his hands in the pale, brown tresses of Gabe’s hair and pulled hard, earning a soft yelp and a pained groan which he quieted by smashing their lips together in another violent kiss.

Moaning, Harry started leading Gabe towards the couch in the living room. Gabe had his eyes closed in bliss while their tongues danced together passionately and allowed the younger teen to push him backwards onto the soft flowery couch. Because of his strong grip on the smaller male, Harry fell on top of him, making them both burst out in a fit of soft giggles.

Harry sat up, smirking at Gabe as he grinded his ass against Gabe’s hard-on. The brunette moaned, his grip on Harry’s hips becoming bruising as he thrusted up. They set a relaxed rhythm, Harry moving down every time Gabe thrusted up. Harry moaned pornographically and pulled off his shirt, making Gabe lick his lips in anticipation. He couldn’t wait to get his hands all over that soft, pale skin…

He grinned when he realized he already could and let his hands travel up Harry’s body. One moved to the back, feeling along Harry’s spine and over all the ridges of the many scars littering the young teen’s back and shoulders. The other hand made its way to Harry’s pink dusted nipples and softly rubbed the left, startling another soft moan from the teen on top of him.

“You can do better than that, can’t you?” Harry asked smirking, a teasing glint in his eyes.

Gabe smirked and pinched the nipple, making Harry groan before he dragged his nails over Harry’s sides back to his hips. The way Harry shivered under his actions was intoxicating and he wanted to see more of the raven’s beautiful reactions. He moved his hands to Harry’s ass, cupping a round, perfect cheek in each hand before squeezing roughly, making Harry moan louder than any other time.

“What the fuck?!”

Both teens tensed and looked over to the side. Gabe’s eyes widened when he noticed he was staring at the barrel of a small gun in the hand of pale haired man dressed in his bathrobe.

“Who are you two?!”

 


	64. Fireworks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Harry/Gabe, Rough gay sex, Exhibitionism, Masochistic Harry, Underage, Murder
> 
> This will basically be a whole chapter with nothing but two teens having sex. It won’t do much for the story line, so if you don’t want to read this, you can just skip it.

 

Harry and Gabe stared startled at the man holding them at gunpoint. Gabe was honestly worried, his erection long withered at the threat, but Harry didn’t seem to have that problem, and if his hard wood pressing in Gabe’s thigh wasn’t a good enough clue, then the manic grin appearing on his face would be.

“So that’s what it’s like to be on this side of the barrel, huh?” Harry joked lightly.  
“I’ve got to be honest though-”

He moved suddenly, jumping off the couch and charging the man. He reached before the man could even decide to pull the trigger and then he was without a gun, which Harry now pressed under his chin.

**_“-I like this side much better.”_ **

The gun made a loud BANG as it literally blew the man’s head off and splattered Harry’s entire naked upper body with blood. The raven giggled and threw the gun at Gabe, who caught it on instinct.

“Since we now know there really are people at home, let’s go fuck on an actual bed!” Harry exclaimed.

Gabe chuckled and got up from the couch, following a giggling Harry up the stairs. The first door upstairs was the one to the master bedroom. The door was partially open, but no one was there. This made Gabe frown, as it was clear that the house possessed a woman’s touch. His suspicions were gone once he heard a female scream two rooms further.

“Look, Gabe! They have a son!” Harry called out cheerfully as Gabe walked into the child’s bedroom.  
“How about we give him some Sex E.D? He’s old enough right? He’s… how old are you, kid?”

“…I-I’m ten…” the boy mumbled quietly.

“Well, I was nine first time I walked in on my parents,” Harry mused.  
“So you and mommy watch very closely alright? Or my friend there puts a bullet in your head.”

Gabe immediately aimed his gun towards the blond woman in next to the young boy. Her face was pale as ash and her eyes wide in fear as she stared at them. Gabe surprised himself when he felt arousal grow again in the pit of his belly at the thought of being watched while he gave his virginity to Harry. They’d watch him fuck the frail-looking raven. With a smirk, he turned to look at Harry.

“In that case, let’s give them the show of their life,” he purred.

Gabe pushed Harry down on the bed with one hand while keeping his gun trained on the woman and child, who were staring at them with wide, fearful eyes. Chuckling, Harry pulled Gabe down on top of him and into a violent kiss. Gabe’s gun hand lowered as he bit at Harry’s mouth with an animalistic growl. Harry chuckled against his mouth and glanced over at their two hostages. The woman was hiding her son’s face while she bit her lip and looked pointedly the other way. This made the young teen scowl in displeasure. He grabbed Gabe’s hair and pulled his face away.

“Keep looking, both of you!” he snapped irritated.  
“Look away, and my friend here shoots the kid first.”

The woman whimpered and met his eyes with a terrified expression while her son too turned back towards them. Harry grinned at the kid before he allowed a very horny Gabe to pull him back into another searing kiss that was more tongue and teeth than anything else.

“Making a kid look while I fuck you,” Gabe chuckled as they parted again.  
“You really are messed up, Harry.”

“Just fuck me already,” Harry growled at him, pulling at the other’s pants to get them down.

Gabe laughed and allowed the other to undress him. Harry was already naked, having gotten rid of every clothing article on his way up to the bedroom. Once his pants were low enough to expose his hard and leaking dick, Gabe moved to sit between Harry’s spread legs. He put two fingers in his mouth and sucked on them for lubrication, but Harry shook his head and grabbed Gabe’s arm.

“No preparation,” he said.  
“Just stick it in. I like the burn.”

Gabe frowned but nodded silently in compliance. He grabbed his cock, spitting on it and rubbing his wet fingers over the hot flesh to lube it up at least somewhat. He moaned softly in arousal, making Harry grin. The youngest of the two teens looked back over at the two hostages, noting gleefully that both had heeded his earlier command and were still watching.

“Now, keep your attention on me,” he said grinning.  
“I’ll make sure to scream real nice just for you.”

With that, he winked and looked back up at Gabe, wrapping his arms around the brunette’s neck and his legs around the other’s hips. He thrust upwards, moaning loudly at the friction as he rubbed his dick against Gabe’s abs.

“Put it in already!” he hissed impatiently.

Gabe rolled his eyes and lined his cock with Harry’s tight, clenching entrance. He gave a half-grin, somewhat nervous since this still was his first time, but Harry’s confidence was very contagious, and he didn’t really think twice before following the other’s command and press inside the unprepared hole.

Harry dug his nails in Gabe’s back, biting his lip to keep in soft whimpers at the dry penetration. He looked back over to the hostages and smiled at the looks of horror, fear and disgust. The sight was very arousing to Harry, and he released his lower lip to moan. However, now that his mouth was open, all other sounds were free to leave his throat as well, so when Gabe gave a more forceful push, he threw his head back and screamed.

“FUCK!”

Gabe groaned as well and paused for a second to catch his breath. Harry was incredibly tight and hot around his cock, and Gabe wondered for a few moments if he would be able to stand the equally excruciating and intensely pleasuring feeling. The dark haired teen groaned and thrust upward, making Gabe moan and push another inch inside that velvety soft channel.

Gabe’s hands were now both placed next to Harry’s shoulders, one of them still holding tight onto the gun while the other gripped the Superman sheets tightly. There was something oddly arousing in doing it in the kid’s bedroom and Gabe found himself mentally applauding Harry’s choice as he slowly pushed deeper into the raven’s asshole.

It started going easier the longer he pushed in, as if Harry’s hole was starting to lubricate itself. Gabe’s eyes widened in shock and he stopped moving, looking down on Harry nervously, wondering if he should pull out or not. Harry frowned in annoyance and thrust upward again, forcing Gabe another inch inside.

“Harry… you-you’re-…” Gabe mumbled softly, worried.

“I’m fucking bleeding, yeah. I can feel!” Harry hissed.  
“That’s half the fun, now get to it or I’ll fuck the gun and make you watch too!”

Harry tightened his legs around Gabe and pulled him closer, forcing yet another two inches in and making Gabe moan quietly. This was all the brunette needed to start moving again and he pushed in the last few inches by himself, moaning loudly and in sync with Harry as he finally bottomed out.

He leaned down and pressed his mouth to Harry’s kissing him with abandon as he grabbed the raven’s leg with his free hand and pulled it free from his hips, pushing it instead up and against Harry’s chest before he finally started moving.

He didn’t bother going slow, knowing Harry wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. Harry moaned loudly as Gabe set a strong, punishing pace, fucking the younger teen with abandon. At some point, he must have struck Harry’s prostate, as the raven suddenly tensed up and threw his head back in a silent scream before ending in a fit of breathless giggles. Harry kept on digging his nails into Gabe’s back, scratching him until he bled while scrambling for purchase against the rough fucking. All the while, a manic grin spread across his face.

After a while, one of his hands finally moved from abusing Gabe’s shoulder blades and between their bodies down to his own, neglected, weeping cock. After that, it took less than a minute before he was moaning his release. His muscles clamped up all around Gabe, making the older teen groan in pleasure as he stopped moving and allowed Harry to milk his cock with his tight ass. He burst only seconds after, spilling his seed deep into Harry’s hot channel, filling Harry up with his cum.

“Fuck, that was… amazing,” Gabe panted.

“You act like we’re done already,” Harry chuckled.

Gabe frowned in confusion as Harry’s arms wound around his neck again. A second later, his entire world flipped over and Gabe blinked in shock as he suddenly found himself on his back with Harry straddling him. The younger teen was still wearing a wide grin as he rolled his hips softly, making Gabe moan.

“C’mon, Gabe. You’re 15, I’m sure you can get it up again, right?” Harry teased.

Harry’s ass was clamping down on his sensitive cock a little too hard for comfort, but it had the desired effect as Gabe’s member rose to the attention once more. The brunette looked down and noted with a snort of amusement that Harry had never even gone soft in the first place.

“I usually hate it when someone comes inside of me, but I’m gonna forgive you this time because it’s your first time,” Harry told him.  
“And I’m way too turned on to really be bothered with it anyway.”

There was movement in the corner of Gabe’s eye, but he didn’t pay it much mind, too completely focused on the enticing sight Harry made on top of him like that, pale skin glistening with sweat and his bangs sticking to his face in wet strands. Harry, on the other hand, didn’t ignore their viewers, and his head snapped towards them with an annoyed glint in his bright green eyes.

“Stay right there!” he snapped angrily.  
“Fucking move and I’ll rape both of you!”

The woman whimpered in fear and clutched her tearful, shaking son in her arms. Harry smirked and rolled his hips again, moaning quietly at the feeling of Gabe hardening again inside of him. Gabe, at this point had his eyes closed tightly and was biting his lip as he was once again stimulated. When Harry lifted up, the brunette’s hips twitched, almost moving upwards as well to stay buried in that intense heat of Harry’s insides. Harry just chuckled and suddenly dropped down again, causing Gabe to shout in shock, his brown eyes flying open again.

“You feel so good inside me,” Harry moaned as he started riding Gabe with intent.

He was moving up and down faster and faster, his hands holding onto Gabe’s knees so he was bent backwards a bit, showing off his own hard cock bouncing along with every movement he made. It had a drop of milky clear liquid stuck at the top, and once Gabe had noticed this, he couldn’t help but stare at it in wonder.

“Enjoying the view?”

Gabe blushed and looked up into Harry’s hooded green eyes. The younger teen was smirking as he stared down at Gabe, not stopping or slowing his movements.

“Yeah,” Gabe admitted after a while.  
“You look so hot like this, Harry.”

One of his hands moved away from Harry’s hip, traveling down his thigh and passed the weeping cock to fondle Harry’s balls. The raven moaned loudly, his movement stuttering for a few moments before Gabe grabbed his cock firmly and started jerking him off in time with Harry’s thrusts. Gabe could feel his own orgasm coming up again, and he sped his hand up on Harry’s dick, but Harry slapped it away.

“I don’t want to come yet,” Harry panted as he clamped his ass down on Gabe’s cock.

Gabe moaned. He grabbed Harry’s hips again with both hands, forcing Harry down while moving upwards himself a few times. After five more thrusts, he was spilling inside Harry for a second time that night. Harry stayed seated on top of him for a while, trying to catch his breath before he finally stood up on shaky legs. Gabe moaned quietly as his limp member slipped free from Harry’s now sloppy and wet hole and stayed boneless on the bed. He barely had the energy to open his eyes when Harry took the gun from his hand and approached the mother and crying child. When Harry grabbed the child’s arm and pulled him away from his mother, Gabe’s eyes widened in shock.

“You’re not going to…?” he asked nervously.

“I’m not into rape,” Harry snorted.  
“But we need to get rid of the witnesses.”

“NO!” the mother yelled, wanting to dart forward to her son, only to find the gun aimed at her face.  
“You promised! You promised that it-f we did what you said, if we watched, you’d let us live!”

Harry laughed and pressed the boy against his chest, pressing one hand over the child’s mouth while the other was still aiming the gun at the mother.

“I said if you watched I wouldn’t kill the kid first!” he corrected gleefully.

With that, he pulled the trigger, at the same time as the fireworks outside went off. Gabe flinched at the loud BANG, and looked away as the little kid started struggling in Harry’s arms. Harry turned the gun and pressed it against the boy’s head, frowning for a moment before changing his mind. Instead, he slammed the barrel against the kid’s temple, knocking him out. Moving quick, Harry grabbed a belt from the boy’s closet and bound his hands and feet before stuffing some socks in his mouth and leaving him inside the closet for the time being.

“You’re not going to kill him?” Gabe asked confused.

“I don’t kill children,” Harry simply stated as he climbed back onto the bed.  
“Besides, I want to get off too now, so open up, I want to fuck you.”

Gabe tensed for a moment. He wasn’t sure if he was ready yet for that, though he had to admit he had fantasized about it. Maybe not with Harry, but with his cousin, Tom. Still, he’d had his fair share of sexual fantasies with Harry in it too, and the younger teen was definitely bossy and dominant enough to top.

“I hope you’re planning on using lube and stretching me, because I’m no masochist,” Gabe muttered as he spread his legs.

“Don’t worry, already got the lube ready,” Harry replied smirking.

Gabe wanted to sigh in relief but tensed again when he noticed Harry reaching between his own legs and pressing two fingers into his leaking hole. Once he’d gathered enough cum, he retracted his fingers again and pressed the first against Gabe’s waiting asshole. The brunette looked at Harry nervously, his muscles tensing in anticipation, making the raven sigh.

“Just relax, it won’t hurt much, just a little burn with the stretch and that’s it,” he soothed.

His free hand was ribbing Gabe’s leg in soothing circles, spreading an odd warmth through the older teen and making him relax. Harry smiled and whispered the same incantation again. A small charm he’d read somewhere to ease the mind and relax the body. He wanted to be able to fuck Gabe quickly, but he didn’t want to hurt his friend either. At least not as long as Gabe wasn’t into that either.

He pushed his finger slowly inside, pausing at the first knuckle when Gabe groaned and scrunched up his nose. He didn’t tense up, not even when he was clearly feeling some discomfort, making Harry breathe a sigh of relief. It seemed the charm he’d used was working nicely. He smiled at Gabe and rubbed his leg again.

“Just bear with it for a moment,” he said softly.  
“It’ll get better, I promise.”

Gabe nodded and took a deep breath, his muscles relaxing a fraction more and allowing Harry’s finger to slip inside deeper. This time, Gabe didn’t seem to be in any form of pain as he sighed.

Harry made sure to be gentle as he started thrusting his pointer finger in and out of his friend’s entrance before he eventually pulled it out. Gabe gave a little whine at that, causing Harry to chuckle. He moved his hand between his own legs again, scooping up some more cum before pressing his pointer- and middle finger against Gabe’s hole.

Gabe closed his eyes again as he felt them push inside and even moaned softly while they stretched him just a little wider than before. Harry, seeing that Gabe could take it, didn’t waste any time and started fucking the older teen on his fingers, scissoring him open even further while thrusting lazily. When he was sure Gabe could handle it, he pushed a third finger in and started moving them a bit faster.

At the third thrust, Gabe’s eyes flew open and he moaned, back arching off the bed. Harry laughed and jabbed the same spot again and again, enjoying the noises his friend made.

“That’s the prostate,” he told Gabe smugly.  
“Feels great, right? You need to be careful not to get addicted to this feeling.”

It didn’t take long after that before Harry decided that Gabe was prepared enough and pulled his fingers back out. Gabe gave a groan in disappointment and looked over at Harry, eyes hooded and pupils blown with arousal.

“Move around,” Harry told him.  
“I want you on your knees for this.”

“Doggie style?” Gabe asked surprised.

“Yeah. It’ll feel great, and it’s an easy position to hold.”

Gabe nodded and slowly turned around, blushing harshly as he got his knees under him and lifted his ass up while keeping his chest on the bed and hugging the Superman pillow. This was a very humiliating position and Gabe wanted to do nothing more than hide his face in the pillow, which he did. Harry chuckled again and spit in his hand before jerking himself off a few times.

Once he was sure his cock was properly lubricated, he shuffled closer. Gabe jumped a little as Harry put his hand on the other’s hip, but quickly relaxed again. Harry lined his cock with the twitching entrance before him and pressed the head of his cock inside.

“Fuck, you’re tight!” Harry groaned.

“No shit. It’s my first time you idiot,” Gabe gritted out.

His shoulders were tense and his ass was clamping down on Harry like a vice, causing Harry to feel discomfort as well. This only aroused him even more. He had noticed with Patricia Stimpsen that he liked virgins. There was something very hot about being their first.

“Don’t say that,” he groaned huskily.  
“I won’t be able to hold back.”

Harry rocked his hips, pushing in two inches before pulling out one inch. Slowly but surely, he started moving deeper into Gabe’s body until eventually, he was in all the way. Gabe was breathing hard, but he was relaxed again. Harry could see the blush going all the way to the older teen’s shoulders and he grinned. He pulled back out, only leaving the head of his cock inside the sinful heath of the other as he tried to recall the spot that had made Gabe see stars earlier. Once he was sure he remembered correctly, he slammed back inside, nailing the other’s prostate perfectly.

“FUCK!” Gabe screamed, his back arching.  
“Do-do that again! Please!”

Harry laughed and did as he was told. Soon, he had set a rough tempo, fucking into Gabe harshly and hitting his prostate dead on every time. the brunette was moaning constantly now, unable to keep quiet even while biting down on the pillow.

Since Harry had been close even before starting, it only took five more minutes like that before he cried out in release and coated Gabe’s insides white. Gabe gasped and went rigid at the foreign feeling of hot liquid rushing into his bowels and blushed even harder than before. He groaned when Harry pulled and allowed the younger teen to manhandle him on his back.

“How do you have enough blood left in your cock?!” Harry exclaimed laughing as he saw hos red Gabe’s face was.

“…Shut up,” the brunette muttered quietly.

Harry laughed and leaned down to kiss Gabe again, leaving it sweet and almost innocent before he sat up again and grabbed Gabe’s erection.

“Let’s get you off too,” he purred.

Two fingers found Gabe’s leaking entrance and pushed inside, pressing down on Gabe’s already thoroughly abused prostate while his other hand moved up and down his shaft rapidly. It didn’t take long for the brunette to come for the third time that night.

While Gabe lay boneless on the bed, enjoying his post-orgasmic haze, Harry was up and about again, moving around the house to gather his clothes. Gabe watched his with sleepy eyes and smiled to himself when he saw Harry bend down to pick up his socks, exposing his ass, which was leaking a pink substance that coated the back of his legs.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Harry commented amused.

“Can I? Just stay like that for a while and I’ll look for a camera,” Gabe teased.

Harry laughed and threw Gabe’s underpants at the brunette.

“Get up you pervert!” he chuckled.

“Says the guy who made an 10 year-old watch us having sex,” Gabe muttered.

He looked up, his smile melting away immediately when he noticed Harry standing over him with a blank expression and his wand in hand. Gabe swallowed nervously. Had he said something wrong?

“What…?” me mumbled shakily.

“Just a little cleaning charm, unless you want to leave this place with my cum still in your ass,” Harry deadpanned.  
“Personally, not my thing. I don’t like the feeling, but hey! I’m not one to kink shame you know. Ive got enough of those myself.”

Gabe blushed and allowed Harry to clean his body with a quietly muttered spell before he rushed to get dressed. Once he was fully clothed, he watched as Harry opened the closet again and pulled the sock from the boy’s mouth.

“P-please, don’t-don’t hurt me,” the kid whimpered.

“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a thing,” Harry spoke, his tone much more gentle than he ever heard from the boy.

He lifted his wand and pressed it against the boy’s head.

“ _Obliviate_ ,” he whispered.

The child’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he sagged down, unconscious yet again. Once that was done, Harry turned to the rumpled, dirty bed and scowled.

“I want it to stay like this so people will know what we did, but then they have DNA…” he muttered.

Gabe snorted and rolled his eyes. Really, he shouldn’t be this surprised by Harry’s unusual thought process. He already knew the raven was anything but normal.

“Isn’t there a spell to make it untraceable?” the brunette asked amused.

“That would be awesome! But if there is, I don’t know it…” Harry exclaimed.  
“Ah! Fuck it! Next time I’ll just videotape the whole thing. _Scourgify_!”

With a lazy hand-motion, the whole bed cleaned itself up and Harry turned around with a disappointed sigh, walking back out of the room. Gabe kept looking at the bed for a while longer. He was always so amazed whenever Harry did magic. It made him feel extremely privileged.

“Let’s go! Maybe we can still watch the end of the Fireworks!” Harry called.

“Coming!” Gabe called back with a chuckle.

.              .              .               .              .

_“Independence Day brought tragedy this year, as a man and a woman were found murdered in their home. Their ten year-old son, Jason, was found hidden in his bedroom closet, unable to remember his assailants. The police have reason to believe that the family accidentally left the backdoor open, which allowed the attackers to enter easily. The Todds were specifically targeted, as father Willis was a known criminal. Nothing was stolen or taken out of place, leaving the police to believe that this was a hit._

_“Willis Todd was found shot dead in the living room and mother Catherine was found with similar gunshot wounds, likely caused by the same weapon, in her son’s bedroom. It is likely that Catherine heard the struggle and shooting and went to her son to hide him before the attackers reached her and killed her as well. Neighbors claim to have heard the shooting, but thought it was the fireworks._

_“Ten year-old Jason Todd was taken in by the police and handed over to social services. However, the boy was seen sneaking out of the police station while he was left alone for a moment and is now missing. So, if anyone has any news on the whereabouts of Jason, or the murder on Willis and Catherine, please contact the police as soon as possible.”_

 


	65. Nice to Meet You!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So some people were triggered by Harry’s actions towards the Todds in the last chapter, so I think it’s time I put this out there.
> 
> THE HARRY IN THIS STORY IS NOT A NICE GUY IN ANY WAY. He’s insane and a remorseless killer. Yes, he has stated he doesn’t kill children unless he absolutely has to, but if he is ordered to put a bullet in a baby’s head by the Joker, he will do it without question.
> 
> He is a master manipulator, which he shows when in Hogwarts. His ‘friends’ are no more than useful tools for him to do with whatever he wants. He lies to them and only reveals as much of the truth as he feels he needs to get them permanently hooked to him. he wants them to be loyal, to trust him 100%, but when he realizes that they won’t be fooled by his act so easily (like with Hermione) he doesn’t think twice about abandoning them instantly.
> 
> While he might act like a fun loving prankster with a few boundary issues and a sex addiction most of the time, it’s merely an act he puts up for the Wizarding World to keep them in the dark of his true intentions. He is a sadistic psychopath who will do anything to alleviate his boredom.
> 
> Harry will show more and more of this side as the story progresses and it will get a lot darker than it is now. It might have come over as cute at some points along the way, but I promise, a sweet fluff story was never my intention.
> 
> I’ll from now on try to put up warning tags for any major violence like I did with the sex scenes, but I’ll probably miss a few because there will be so many. SO IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY BLOOD, GORE, TORTURE, MURDER OR RAPE, I SUGGEST YOU DON’T CONTINUE READING.

 

_He was all alone in an abandoned Arkham Asylum. No sign of his parents or the other villains. Not even any doctors or guards. Slowly, Harry made his way around, his heart was thumping harshly in his chest and terror seemed to overtake him._

“Concentrate!” _a voice in his head hissed.  
_ “Now’s not the time to be scared!”

_Harry gritted his teeth and tightened his hands around his clubs. He was right! He had to find his parents. He walked on, ignoring the twinge of fear he could feel inside himself. One more corner and he’d be outside… He stopped and tensed in horror. Both his parents were lying dead on the floor in a puddle of their own blood. The Riddler was dead too, and Ivy, Sirius, Mr. Freeze, Tom, Draco, Gabe,…_

_And over their corpses stood none other than Batman, with Robin beside him. They were covered in blood not their own. Harry’s fear came back tenfold and he gasped for breath he didn’t seem to get. He growled and lifted one club, ready to attack, but paused when he saw Dick suddenly appear from behind the Dark Knight. He was scowling and sneering in hatred and disgust._

_“I should have known,” Dick hissed hatefully.  
“Friends? With you? Don’t make me laugh! You’re a disgusting murderer! I hate you!”_

_With that, the dark haired teen turned around and ran away. Harry’s breath hitched and he dropped his clubs._

_“Dick!” he shouted desperately._

_He started running too, but Batman intercepted him and grabbed him by the neck. Harry shouted in pain as he was harshly slammed into a wall._

_“’The Chosen One’? You don’t stand a chance against me, Child’s Play,” the man whispered.  
“You’re just a little boy. Magic or no magic, you’re too weak to ever think of standing against me.”_

“Harry! Get a fucking grip over yourself! Wake up, now!”

*

Harry jerked and opened his teary eyes with a gasp. His dad was looming over him, looking very angry and… disappointed.

“You’re a fucking disgrace, kid,” he sneered.  
“I don’t get why the fuck I ever agreed in adopting you.”

“D-dad…” Harry whispered miserably.

“We should just dump him somewhere,” his mother said, stepping into his sight as well.  
“I mean, we aint need him no more, right Puddin’? We’ve got our own baby now!”

Harry gave a weak sob and tried to reach out, but his arms were heavy like lead. A cold laugh had him turn his head to where Tom and Gabe were leaning against the walls.

“Just kill him already,” Gabe said sneering.  
“I’m so fucking sick of playing his friend.”

“No one wants you, love,” Tom told Harry smirking.  
“Besides, Gabriel is a much better fuck than you. You’re utterly useless.”

“He’s nothing like James,” Sirius said, stepping in with a deep frown.  
“I only came here because I hoped to find my best friend in him. I was wrong.”

Harry wailed in horror and tried to get up, but suddenly, his dad slapped him hard enough to make his ears ring and his eyes snapped open wide.

_“Harry!”_

*

“You back?” Dr. Crane asked as Harry sat up.

He was standing next to the bed Harry had been lying on for the period of the experiment, Malinda wrapped around his shoulders and looking down at the teen with big, worried eyes.

“Yeah,” the teen muttered, rubbing his stinging cheek.  
“How long was I out this time?”

“Ten minutes and four seconds,” Crane replied scowling.  
“It’s better than last time, but still way too long.”

“And it’s completely useless if you have to fucking _slap_ me to get me out,” Harry added bitterly.

Dr. Jonathan Crane snorted and sat back in his chair.

“I’d have left you under, but you were crying and screaming. It was giving me a headache.”

Harry’s hand went up to his eyes and he blinked in surprise as he found them wet. That was new.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

“If you want to have a chance, you have a long way to go,” Crane said.  
“Batman is barely even slowed down with this gas and you’re out for ten to fifteen minutes.”

“I fucking know, alright?!” Harry hissed.  
“I’m doing my damn best! This aint easy you know.”

“It’s not _supposed_ to be easy,” Crane shot back.

He stood up and unwound Malinda from himself before laying her on the bed.

“We’re done for today. We’ll try again in two weeks,” he said.

.              .              .               .              .

“Alright! This is how things will go down!” Joker announced.  
“Sirius will take Fluffy and be the obvious distraction, stomping everything in town. Snake Tom and the Hyenas should be a pretty good distraction too in the shopping mall.”

He looked over to the two men he’d mentioned. Sirius was standing next to Harry, a wide, insane grin on his face. He was wearing a long black coat over a black shirt and black leather pants with biker boots. The only kind of disguise he wore was a simple black domino mask. They had, after all, decided that he would only go out as a dog or as the mercenary named Grimm.

Behind him sat Fluffy, tongues out and tail thumping excitedly against the wall. Harry had taken his time with giving the Cerberus a make-over. Now, every head had a Mohawk. The middle one had a green, the right was blue and the left was red. Their magical collars were the same colors and had silvers spikes to it. It now looked a lot more like a pet of the Joker gang than before.

On Harry’s other side stood Tom, who looked a lot less happy. He was disguised as teenage Voldemort again and was scowling in displeasure. It might have something to do with how Harry had blackmailed him into joining. After all, Tom didn’t want Joker to know he was fucking Harry because chances were the Clown Prince of Crime wouldn’t be happy.

“Harley and I will be robbing the bank and Harry and Gabe will go for the Jewelry store on Main Street,” Joker continued.  
“Batman and Robin can’t be everywhere at the same time, so this should give at least one of us the opportunity to collect some cash. And it will be a good way to introduce our new buddy for realsies!”

Harry rubbed his hands together and cackled evilly. He was ready for this!

.              .              .               .              .

Child’s Play giggled and draped a big diamond necklace around the neck of one of his hostages. It was a young woman with long chestnut hair and big brown eyes.

“Are you done decorating them?” Gabe asked annoyed, shoving as many jewels in a bag as he could.  
“We came here to do a job, not to play around. You should be helping me fill those bags.”

He was wearing his clown mask and black cargo pants, like he always did when joining the insane crime family in their outings. Child’s Play looked over at his friend and grinned.

“What’s the fun in that?” he asked.

Without waiting for an answer, he skipped over to the swiveling chair in the back of the room and jumped on it, giggling childishly as it swiveled around. He picked up a pair of diamond earrings and shoved them in his pocket. They might come in handy someday. For mother’s day, or Luna’s birthday. Or he could have his own ears pierced and wear them himself.

A loud shout of pain from Gabe had him stop and look over. His friend was lying on the ground, unconscious with a strange girl standing over him. Child’s Play scowled confused. She was now who he was expecting to shit on his party.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked.

“I’m the one that’s going to stop you,” the girl replied, taking a fighting stance.

Child’s Play cocked his head curiously and observed the girl a bit closer. Though her face was mostly hidden by a cowl – a lot like the one Batman wore – he could see she was about his age. She had long red hair and her costume was a girly version of Batman’s with yellow gloves and boots instead of grey ones and her bat symbol on the chest was also yellow.

“I though Batsy already had a sidekick. Bird-boy,” he said.

“I’m Batgirl,” the girl said.  
“I work independently from Batman and Robin.”

“Really? Well, Batman can’t exactly claim legal ownership on the name and costume, so I guess it’s ok,” Harry shrugged grinning.  
“Though I can’t say it’s a sign of creativity and sense of style to follow that creep.”

“I could say the same about your costume. Your sense of style stinks so much, it belongs in the sewers.”

The girl made a disgusted look as she made the comment and pressed a hand over her nose, acting as if Harry smelled bad. The boy scowled for a moment and sneered, having half a mind to use a dark spell and just kill the redhead, but he quickly changed his mind and started laughing instead.

“I like you! You’re almost as mean as me!” he chuckled.  
“Why don’t you leave the pretentiousness behind and join the fun side? We have cookies!”

“Yeah? How about you come over here so I can teach you a lesson you desperately need!”

"Teach me?! I'm a great teacher!” Child’s Play laughed, pulling out a gun as he sat back in his chair.  
“I'll teach you basic things. Like to tie your shoe. You take the string. Then you shoot someone in the face and BAM!”

He took a pause in talking to do exactly as he said, grinning as his hostages screamed in horror. Batgirl rushed forward, catching the woman, before he fell on the floor, only to find half the lady’s face was mush from the shot. She was definitely dead.

“-Your shoes look so much better than before!” Child’s Play laughed amused, pointing his gun at someone else and shooting him too, before moving on to a third.  
“There's a dead man. And that's a dead man too! That's two pairs of shoes tied right there!"

“You’re insane!” Batgirl cried out.

“So people keep telling me!” Child’s Play laughed.  
“But who says it isn’t you who’re all insane, and I’m the only one who is sane?”

“I’ll make sure you end up in Arkham once and for all for this!” Batgirl screamed.

Harry tutted at her, wiggling his finger mockingly.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he warned.  
“Better men than you have tried, but none succeeded.”

“Well, I’m not a man, am I?” Batgirl hissed, pulling out a batarang.

Child’s Play ducked and laughed at the girl’s comment. She was interesting.

.              .              .               .              .

It took Child’s Play about five minutes to take out Batgirl and tie her up. After that, it was only a matter of waking up Gabe and then search his new prisoner. To his own excitement, the girl had been carrying a hand radio with her.

“Let me guess, tuned in on the police radio?” he asked amused.

“Go to hell!” Batgirl shouted angrily.

Child’s Play chuckled and sat back down on his chair while he messed with the settings on the radio a little. Once he got what he wanted, he gave a happy shout and turned it on.

“Hello? Police?” he asked in an obnoxious shrill voice.  
“Are you there?! Is Batman listening? This is Child’s Play!”

 _“What do you want, Child’s Play?”_ Robin’s voice rang out.  
_“Already heard how we caught that freak dog and the new guy?”_

Child’s Play’s eyes widened. So they had gone after Sirius first.

“Really? Congratulations, I guess,” he said.  
“You’ve got Grimm and I got Batsy’s number one fan! We’re even!”

For a moment, everything was quiet on the other side before some static was heard.

 _“What are you talking about?”_ Batman asked gruffly.

“Well, I was in the middle of this hostage situation in Main Street and suddenly this chick shows up,” Child’s Play started happily.  
“Calls herself Batgirl! Is she Birdie’s girlfriend? I’m a jealous person, you know. Maybe I should just kill her! She’s just a boring wannabe anyway.”

No answer came, but Child’s Play could hear the sound of a car engine roaring to life. He laughed and threw the radio to the ground. Gabe, who was up again by now, rubbed his throbbing head and looked over to the cackling Prince Heir.

“Time to go!” he said, grabbing Gabe by the wrist.

He dragged his friend out the shop. With a quick muttered spell, he let steam fill the entire street, making it impossible for the police standing outside to see them. He also left a recording of his own voice behind to continue yelling threats. It was attached to a bomb, which was with a second spell set to explode once someone walked through the door. This was more to ensure the hostages didn’t run off than to kill Batman.

Child’s Play started up his bike, which had been parked under a notice-me-not charm. Gabe sat behind him, the bags of jewels hidden underneath the seat as he wrapped his arms tightly around Child’s Play’s waist. Like that, they took off. Only a few minutes later, the bomb went off.

.              .              .               .              .

It wasn’t much of a surprise that Tom had discarded his disguise as soon as he was back at home. The Joker and Harley had each a few big bags of money with them, and added with Gabe’s and Harry’s two bags of jewels, they were damn rich.

“Most of this will go to our vaults at Gringotts,” Joker said smugly.  
“Fairly divided of course, because I’m an honest man.”

Harry chuckled amused at that and Gabe smiled weakly. Tom just snorted and rolled his eyes.

“The kid gets his fair share too of course,” the Clown Prince of Crime continued, throwing a wad of cash at Gabe.  
“So does Sirius once he’s out of Arkham. They no doubt put him in one of those power cells for metahumans.”

“We’ll go bust him out soon, right?” Harry asked hopeful.

“One of the next days,” Harley said smiling.  
“Ivy’s there now too, so we can get them both!”

“Great! It would suck if my Godparents would miss my birthday next week.”

 


	66. Bad Dream

_The house Harry found himself in was utterly dark and cold and utterly empty. It gave him the creeps as it looked a bit like the Wayne House after being left to rot for half a century. At the very end of the passage a door stood ajar and a flickering light shone through the gap, casting a long sliver of gold across the black floor. Harry edged closer and closer, grasping his walking stick firmly. Several feet from the entrance, he was able to see a narrow slice of the room beyond._

_The fire, he now saw, had been lit in the grate. This surprised him. Then he stopped moving and listened intently, for a woman’s voice spoke within the room. It sounded timid and fearful._

_“There is a little more in the bottle, My Lord, if you are still hungry.”_

_“Later,” a second voice said._

_This belonged to a man — but it was strangely high-pitched, and cold as a sudden blast of icy wind. Something about that voice made the hairs on the back of Harry’s neck stand up._

_“Move me closer to the fire, Alecto.”_

_Harry turned his right ear toward the door, to hear better. There came the clink of a bottle being put down upon some hard surface, and then the dull scraping noise of a heavy chair being dragged across the floor. Harry caught a glimpse of a woman, her back to the door, pushing the chair into place. She was wearing a long black cloak, and had dirty blond hair falling to her shoulders. Then she went out of sight again._

_“Where is Nagini?” the cold voice asked._

_“I — I don’t know, My Lord,” the woman replied nervously.  
“She set out to explore the house, I think…”_

_“You will milk her before we retire, Alecto,” the male voice ordered.  
“I will need feeding in the night. The journey has tired me greatly.”_

_Brow furrowed, Harry inclined his good ear still closer to the door, listening very hard. There was a pause, and then the woman called Alecto spoke again._

_“My Lord, may I ask how long we are going to stay here?”_

_“A week,” the cold voice replied.  
“Perhaps longer. The place is moderately comfortable, and the plan cannot proceed yet. It would be foolish to act before the Quidditch World Cup is over.”_

_“The — the Quidditch World Cup, My Lord?” Alecto asked.  
“Forgive me, but — I do not understand — why should we wait until the World Cup is over?”_

_“Because, fool, at this very moment wizards are pouring into the country from all over the world, and every meddler from the Ministry of Magic will be on duty, on the watch for signs of unusual activity, checking and double-checking identities. They will be obsessed with security, lest the Muggles notice anything. So we wait.”_

_Harry scowled and leaned closer. There was something unusual going on in there and he wanted to know what it was. He could hear Alecto shuffle a bit nervously before she appeared back in his sight, kneeling in front of the chair where the man with the cold voice was hidden._

_“It could be done without Harry Potter, My Lord,” she said_

_Harry’s eyes widened as he heard his own birth name uttered by this strange woman. They were after him then. Another pause, more protracted, and then —_

_“Without Harry Potter?” the male voice breathed softly.  
“I see…”_

_“My Lord, I do not say this out of concern for the boy!” Alecto said,  voice rising squeakily.  
“The boy is a loose cannon! Word has it he is insane and very slippery. It is merely that if we were to use another witch or wizard — any wizard — things could be done so much more quickly!”_

_“I could use another wizard, that is true,” the cold voice said.  
“But I will not. It must be Harry Potter. No one else.”_

_“The boy is too well protected-” the woman tried, but she was cut off._

_“I have my reasons for using the boy, as I have already explained to you, and I will use no other. I have waited thirteen years. A few more months will make no difference. As for the protection surrounding the boy, I believe my plan will be effective. All that is needed is a little courage from you, Alecto — courage you will find, unless you wish to feel the full extent of Lord Voldemort’s wrath.”_

_“Yes, My Lord,” the woman sighed._

_So the strange man was Voldemort… Did that mean he was back? Harry had the sudden urge to leave again, but stayed frozen in place as Voldemort started talking again._

_“One more murder… my faithful servant at Hogwarts… Harry Potter is as good as mine, Alecto. It is decided. There will be no more argument. But quiet… I think I hear Nagini…”_

_In an instant, Voldemort’s voice changed. He started making noises such as Harry had never heard before. He was hissing and spitting without drawing breath. With a shock, Harry realized that was how Parseltongue must sound for people who couldn’t understand it and his eyes widened. Why couldn’t he understand it?_

_And then Harry heard movement behind him in the dark passageway. He turned to look, and found himself paralyzed with fright, which was very unusual for him too, especially for this particular situation. Something was slithering toward him along the dark corridor floor, and as it drew nearer to the sliver of firelight, he realized that it was a gigantic snake, at least twelve feet long. Awed, transfixed, Harry stared as its undulating body cut a wide, curving track through the thick dust on the floor, coming closer and closer. It looked at Harry with disinterested yellow eyes before moving beyond the door, and in seconds, the tip of its diamond-patterned tail had vanished through the gap._

_Harry listened enchanted as Voldemort talked with his snake. No doubt the beautiful creature was telling its master all about him standing behind the door, listening in. what a strange meeting that would be. Harry smirked inwardly, ignoring the sweat on his forehead and the loud thumping of his heart in terror._

_“Nagini has interesting news, Alecto,” Voldemort said._

_“Indeed, My Lord?” Alecto asked humbly._

_Harry felt giddy. Now it would happen. He’d finally meet his uncle face to face. He was so going to have fun with this!_

_“Indeed, yes,” Voldemort said gleefully.  
“According to Nagini, there is an old Muggle standing right outside this room, listening to every word we say.”_

_Harry tensed and his eyes widened. Muggle… Old… Him? No. He was Harry Quinn. Harry Potter! This was not how Voldemort should react to finding out he was there._

_There were footsteps, and then the door of the room was flung wide open. The tall woman stood in front of Harry, a disgusted sneer on her hard face. Harry noted absently that she was definitely not a beautiful woman._

_“Invite him inside, Alecto. Where are your manners?” Voldemort said._

_Alecto stepped aside and let Harry in. he stepped forward slowly. Voldemort sat in the armchair near the fire, which was the only light source in the room. He couldn’t see his uncle though, as it was turned with its back towards him._

_“You heard everything, Muggle?” Voldemort asked._

_“What’s that you’re calling me?” Harry asked defiantly._

_It wasn’t what he wanted to ask at all. he had planned on a cheerful greeting, like “How’s it hanging, uncle?” or “You look lively for a dead guy!” but his own voice refused to obey him._

_“I am calling you a Muggle,” Voldemort said coolly.  
“It means that you are not a wizard.”_

_“I don’t know what you mean by wizard,” Harry said, his voice growing steadier along with his confusion.  
“All I know is I’ve heard enough to interest the police tonight, I have. You’ve done murder and you’re planning more! And I’ll tell you this too, my wife knows I’m up here, and if I don’t come back-”_

_“You have no wife,” Voldemort interrupted him, very quietly.  
“Nobody knows you are here. You told nobody that you were coming. Do not lie to Lord Voldemort, Muggle, for he knows… He always knows…”_

_Harry wanted to snort and tell him he hadn’t known he’d be vanquished when trying to kill a fucking toddler, but once again, he couldn’t._

_“Is that right?” Harry said instead.  
“Lord, is it? Well, I don’t think much of your manners, _ My Lord _. Turn ’round and face me like a man, why don’t you?”_

_He made himself laugh with that one. Imagine an actual muggle say something like that to big bad Lord Voldemort! Hilarious!_

_“But I am not a man, Muggle,” Voldemort said, barely audible now over the crackling of the flames.  
“I am much, much more than a man. However… why not? I will face you. Alecto, come turn my chair around.”_

_Slowly, Alecto walked forward and began to turn the chair. The snake lifted its large triangular head and hissed slightly as the legs of the chair snagged on its rug._

_And then the chair was facing Harry, and he saw what was sitting in it. His walking stick fell to the floor with a clatter – And since when had he even a walking stick anyway? He opened his mouth and let out a scream. He was screaming so loudly that he never heard the words the thing in the chair spoke as it raised a wand. There was a flash of green light and a rushing sound and then it was all over._

*

Harry woke up with a shout in horror, his eyes wide and his scar burning. He hissed and pressed his hand against it. Malinda came slithering in with Joker and Harley in her tail.

 ** _*Hatchling!*_** the little snake hissed worried. ** _  
*I couldn’t wake you, so I went and get Hatchling’s parents!*_**

 ** _*Thanks, Malinda,*_** Harry hissed back weakly.

“You alright there, kid?” Joker asked.

“Did yah have a nightmare, hun?” Harley asked, sitting down on the bed next to him and hugging him.

“What was that scream?” Tom asked annoyed, strolling into the room in his pajamas and his hair messy.

Harry snorted amused at the sight, gaining a glare from the older teen.

“That was Voldemort being an asshole,” he said sighing, rubbing his scar with a pout.  
“He’s out there somewhere, killing old muggle dudes and making diabolical plans while looking like fucking Benjamin Button.”

The three others all stared at him in shock.

“Voldemort is back?” Tom asked softly, looking suddenly a lot more worried.

“Yeah. And he’s got a plan to get powerful again which includes killing me.”

Harley hugged Harry closer instantly.

“He aint getting’ yah!” she said determinedly.

“Fuck no!” Joker agreed.  
“One Tom’s enough. And I only have one Harry too, so that’s completely out of the question.”

“Thanks,” Harry and Tom said in unison, one sounding happy, the other sarcastic.

.              .              .               .              .

When they went out to bust out Sirius and Ivy, Tom decided to stay behind. He never liked going out and playing criminal much and he’d only joined the rest of the crime family twice in as many years. Child’s Play didn’t really like it, but he accepted Tom’s decision. Not everyone had it in them to become an agent of chaos. Tom liked it better to work from the shadows. For now at least.

The plan was easy. Joker and Harley would attack the Low Security Wing, where most of the gang members were locked up along with some other guys while Child’s Play snuck into the Max Security with the use of some under the radar magic and get Sirius and Ivy out. Most of the guards and any police that came to stop them would be too busy with Joker’s group to even look for Child’s Play.

With the Cloak at hand, it was incredibly easy to sneak into Arkham Asylum once the panic broke out. The fact that his mom still knew most of the passwords of the building – what kind of an idiot did that warden have to be to use his own _birthday?_ – so Child’s Play had no issue getting all the way inside the Max Security.

He paused a moment when he came past his own, empty cell and looked inside. It was kind of strange to see it so empty…

“Missing it already?”

Child’s Play turned his head and grinned when he saw Robin standing behind him, standing ready to fight the green haired teen. Child’s Play didn’t react much though, just smiled and waved.

“I figured I’d visit again!” the Heir Prince of Crime said cheerfully.  
“I’ve kind of been missing it… Long time since you and the Bat caught me after all.”

“Then let’s fix that,” Robin growled before charging.

Child’s Play pulled out his juggling pin, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to stop Robin’s hit. He stood his ground and allowed Robin to lay the first hit so he had a chance to be able to slam his pin into his nemesis’ side. The Boy Wonder huffed in pain and staggered back. Child’s Play took the opportunity right away and charged him, pushing the dark haired teen on the ground before straddling him.

“I think I should let _you_ get acquainted with my second home instead,” he said.

With that, he pressed his lips on Robin’s. The young hero went slack underneath him almost right away as Child’s Play dipped his tongue in his mouth. Child’s Play quickly dropped his pin and slid his wand out of his sleeve before disconnecting his lips from his nemesis’.

_“Stupify.”_

.              .              .               .              .

Child’s Play wandered into the hall where the metahumans were held while humming a cheerful tune. Several of the prisoners watched him as he skipped past, most banging against the glass of their cells, ordering, begging him to be let out. Others shouted threats as Child’s Play passed them without acknowledging their requests.

“Pup!”

Child’s Play stopped walking and grinned when he saw Grimm standing in one of the cells at the back of the hall, across from Poison Ivy, who was smiling brightly and pressed her hands against the glass of her own cell.

“Uncle Sirius! Aunt Ivy!” Child’s Play exclaimed happily.  
“I came to get you two out! I’ll need my Godparents for my birthday~”

“Then get us out of here, darling,” Ivy purred.

Child’s Play giggled and saluted before punching in the codes of both their cells and let the two adults out. Grimm jumped at his godson right away and hugged him.

“Good job, kiddo!” he said happily.

Child’s Play laughed and hugged the man back.

“Let’s go home! Then I can tell you all about my dream!”

Ivy chuckled and hugged him too before she let go and the three of them walked back out. As they passed Child’s Play’s regular cell, where Robin had already woken up again. The young hero started scowling as he saw Child’s Play, Grimm and Poison Ivy walk past.

“You bastard! Let me out!” the teen screamed, slamming his fist against the glass.

“Don’t be mean, Bird-boy!” the young Prince Heir of Crime laughed.  
“That’s home to me right there! I’m just trying to show you my side of things!”

With that, he hooked arms with both his Godparents and walked away.

“Let’s go find Fluffy!” he exclaimed cheerfully.

.              .              .               .              .

“To a job well done!” Joker toasted with a grin.

Sirius, Harley, Harry, Tom and Ivy all clinked their glasses together with bright grins. After Harry had freed Sirius and Ivy, they went down to the monster cells, where people like Killer Crock were kept to pick up Fluffy. After that, they had gone back to Joker and Harley, who had been getting in trouble with the Batman, but even the Great Big Bat didn’t stand a chance against all of them together and they left the vigilante with a few broken bones, a very bruised face and very bruised pride.

“Ta our boy turnin’ 14 in two days!” Harley announced.

“To freedom,” Ivy offered with a smirk.

“I’ll drink to that!” Sirius exclaimed laughing.

“I’ll drink to anything. This Firewhiskey is the fucking best!”

Everyone laughed at Harry’s exclamation.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been told before not to spend too much time on canon, but I felt that this was too important to leave behind.


	67. Fun Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laptop dying. Ignore the errors, I might get them out later.

“Happy birthday, pup!” Sirius said grinning, handing Harry a long present.

“Present!” Harry shouted happily, clapping in his hands like a little kid.

“You just turned fourteen. Act your age,” Tom scolded in a bored tone.

Harry, Sirius and the Joker all laughed at that.

“Don’t listen to him!” Sirius said, ruffling Harry’s hair.  
“Growing up isn’t that much fun. Getting presents is.”

“Wise words!” Joker laughed amused.  
“Listen to the man, Tommy!”

Tom crossed his arms glowered at the group, but Harry wasn’t paying him any attention anymore. He eagerly ripped the paper off the present, giving a loud, excited squeal when he pulled the broom out the package.

“It’s a Firebolt!” he shouted awed.  
“And you even had it painted for me!”

“I saw how much you liked you other broom, so I figured I’d have this one custom painted too,” Sirius shrugged smirking.

“It looks amazing!” Harley squealed happily.

Indeed it did. The handle was blue, which slowly bled out to bright green lower down, with darker twines and leaves painted on, and even a few dark red roses. The twigs, which were already very streamlined by design, were painted in the same way as Harry’s hair had been the entire past year, making them look like fire.

“I love the design,” Poison Ivy said admiringly.

“I tried to add a bit of Harry’s interests in here,” Sirius said grinning.  
“I’ve seen him working on the garden outside pretty much every day, and with such a lovely looking Godmother, I couldn’t resist.”

He winked at Ivy, making the plant villain smirk amused.

“Of course, I’m gonna paint a nice big Grimm on your bike once I’ve charmed it to fly like my old one,” he added.

Sirius gave a loud bark of laughter at his own words and patted Harry’s head again.

“That might be better than what I had in mind,” Harry said chuckling.  
“I was going to paint dicks on it!”

.              .              .               .              .

After all the presents had been unpacked, the adults all retired. Ivy had taken Sirius out in the garden to show off some plants while Joker and Harley were… somewhere. Tom had returned to his room and sat down at his desk to study or do something boring that Harry wasn’t interested in. So, because he felt like bothering his ‘cousin’ Harry had followed after him.

“You got a birthday present for me?” Harry asked.

“No, I don’t,” the older teen sighed annoyed.  
“I didn’t realize I needed to give you anything.”

Harry pouted and leaned over Tom’s desk more.

“That’s just mean!” he whined.

Sighing again, Tom stood up and grabbed Harry’s arm, roughly pulling his upper body over the desk before rounding it himself and moving to stand behind Harry. He pressed his arm into the younger’s neck to keep him down while he started undoing Harry’s pants with the other. Harry grit his teeth as his face was roughly ground into the desk with Tom leaning over him. Hot breath was blown into Harry’s ear as Tom chuckled lowly.

“Happy Birthday, Harry,” he whispered.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was still walking a little weird when he arrived at Wayne Manor along with Tom, Gabe and Sirius – as a dog of course. He rang the bell and the door swung open immediately.

“Happy birthday, Master Riddle,” Alfred announced smiling.

“Thank you, Alfie!” Harry said cheerfully.  
“Where would I find Richard, my good man.”

The butler chuckled and let them in.

“In the drawing room, along with miss Gordon and miss Kane,” he replied.

Harry giggled happily and clapped his hands in excitement, making Gabe chuckle and Sirius chuff amused. They were led towards the drawing room, which was set up as a party room for the day. His friends were all already there, wearing colorful party hats and all carrying a birthday present.

“Happy Birthday!” Dick, Barbara and Bette called in chorus.

Harry gave a high squeal and jumped in the air in fright.

“Who are you!? What’s this?!” he shouted dramatically.  
“You guys remembered my birthday! I’m so happy!”

Next to him, Tom face-palmed and Sirius chuffed again. Bette laughed and skipped forward, planting a big kiss on Harry’s cheek. Harry made himself blush and he giggled shyly, looking away.

“I just got kissed by a pretty girl…” he said innocently.

“Oh my god!” Barbara squealed suddenly.  
“Your dog is adorable! Can I pet it? What’s its name?”

“Go ahead!” Harry laughed.  
“His name is Padfoot. I’ve got him since the start of summer.”

“That’s awesome!” Dick said grinning.  
“He kind of looks like a hellhound. Next time we go out at night scaring people, we should bring him.”

“Yes!” Harry and Gabe cheered.

“I had hoped you’d finally grow up some,” Tom muttered, glaring at Harry.  
“You’re all fourteen, and Gabriel is even fifteen. The least you can do is _act your age_.”

“I’m thirteen,” Barbara spoke up, not looking away from Sirius as she and Bette were lavishing the Animagus in their attention.

Tom rolled his eyes.

“I’m too pretentious to notice you,” he said.

This had Barbara look up and she stuck out her tongue at Tom while the rest of the group laughed amused. Dick had meanwhile wrapped his arms around Harry, and Harry had done the same with his best friend. Neither were planning on letting go any time soon.

“How about you open your presents now?” Gabe suggested, holding up his own with a grin.

Harry looked over without loosening his grip on Dick and nodded. Barbara and Bette got up right away to get their own presents and Barbara brought Dick’s gift along too. Dick freed one arm to accept it and as Barbara reached out to hand it over, Harry noticed her bruised and swollen wrist. He scowled confused at that. He grabbed her arm before she could give Dick the present, making the girl tense.

“What happened?” he asked.

Barbara blushed and pulled back.

“I landed wrong during practice,” she mumbled.  
“I lost balance and sprained it when I tried to catch myself.”

Harry nodded in understanding. Barbara was a Gymnast and a damn good one too. He’d gone to watch her compete before. She was champion of the Gotham Junior League for the past three years.

“Alright! Now presents!” Dick said cheerfully, pulling Harry away from Barbara.

He thrust his own gift into Harry’s hands and pushed him down on the couch. Gabe, Barbara and Bette followed after them and sat around the two best friends while Tom stayed at a distance with Sirius, petting the large black dog. This made Dick scowl.

“Did he already give you his present?” he whispered at Harry.

Harry smirked and leaned closer to Dick to make sure that only he could hear him.

“He gave me a sore ass,” he whispered.

Dick blushed brightly and looked over to Tom, who was smirking knowingly at the two of them.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this,” he muttered, making Harry laugh.

“Well, then maybe I shouldn’t tell about what Gabe and I did earlier this month!”

Gabe blushed and Dick’s eyes widened in shock.

“What?!” he squeaked, causing Harry to laugh even harder.

.              .              .               .              .

“Bye!” Bette shouted as she followed her aunt towards the car.

Kate Kane was a beautiful young woman with long red hair and nice curves. Harry had whistled at her when she had walked in to pick up her niece, making the woman chuckle amused and ruffle his hair, as if he was just a little kid.

Only moments later, Dave arrived to pick Gabe, Harry, Tom and Sirius up and bring them home too. Harry hugged Dick goodbye, promising to call him once he was in London in two days before he turned to Barbara with a bright grin.

“You gonna be alright, alone with Dick until your dad gets here?” he asked teasingly.

“I should be,” the girl chuckled.  
“I’m staying the whole weekend.”

Harry’s eyes widened comically.

“You’re staying over with Dick?!” he asked shocked.  
“Are you two dating and forgot to tell me?!”

The duo blushed and Barbara scowled.

“You stay over at Dick’s all the time!” she shouted.

“Looks like we’re caught!” Dick laughed batting his eyes at Harry.  
“I’m sorry, baby. It’s not you, it’s me. I just have a thing for red hair.”

Harry pouted and fell to his knees.

“You bastard!” he cried dramatically.  
“I loved you! I gave you everything and you just replace me for a pretty girl!”

“Harry! We’re leaving!” Tom shouted from the car.

Harry chuckled and got back up. He kissed Dick’s cheek and then did the same with Barbara, surprised that the girl let him.

“Well, I wish you the best of luck,” he told her.  
“At least Dick’s a good kisser. I should know. I gave him the practice!”

Leaving the two frozen in shock, Harry ran over to the car and jumped in.

.              .              .               .              .

“Ready to leave, hun?” Harley asked.

Harry slammed his trunk closed and gave his mother a bright grin.

“All set to go!” he announced happily.

“Alright! Mistah J said tha’ yah friend and his dad are waiting for yah at the Leakey Cauldron.”

Harry nodded and hoisted his heavy trunk up while Malinda curled around his shoulders. He turned to look at Tom, who was sitting at the table feeding his turtle. Harry was really happy that the young Dark Lord had decided to keep it and even took it with him to school.

“Try not to lay the Wizarding World to waste,” the older teen muttered lazily.

“Why? You got any sentiment for them?” Harry asked amused.

This had Tom look up and he raised a brow, smirking at Harry.

“The opposite. I want to play part in their end,” he replied.

“In that case, let me know when you want to burn the joint. I’ll keep my lighter close.”

This had Tom throw his head back and laugh loudly, making Harry grin.

.              .              .               .              .

The flame flared up and Harry stumbled out of the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron. Draco and Lucius were both already waiting for him there and Harry gave a happy squeal.

“Draco!” he shouted, flying his friend around the neck.

“Nice to see you too,” Draco chuckled, hugging him back.

“If you two are done professing love for each other,” Lucius sneered.

Harry gasped and looked at Draco with wide eyes.

“I thought we agreed to keel it a secret…” he mumbled betrayed.

This had Draco blush brightly and he glared at Harry when his dad narrowed his eyes at the two of them.

“You’re always so weird, Quinn!” the blond teen complained.  
“Anyway. We’re invited to the World Championship by the Minister of Magic himself!”

“That’s pretty cool,” Harry said with a smile.

 


	68. The World Cup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Solo Harry, Masturbation, Violence, Murder, Child Murder, Nothing Explicit
> 
> I've put no warnings in the story because it's just too hard to do in this one. There's a lot of chaos, but any of the tags I put here are just such tiny snipets of the chapter they can be easily skipped.

"Ready to go, Quinn?" Draco asked eagerly that morning during breakfast.

Harry stopped shoveling pancakes in his mouth and looked up owlishly. Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy were both staring at him in horror and disgust. Those fancy people were probably not used to someone eating as messily as Harry. He still remembered Alfred's first reaction at Harry eating too…

"Ready for what?" he asked confused.

Draco's excited expression melted instantly.

"The-the World Cup! It's today, remember!" Draco said, sounding almost heartbroken.  
"I've been reminding you for the entire week! You couldn't have forgotten! Weren't you listening?!"

"Of course I hadn't forgotten!" Harry laughed.  
"I just wanted to see your face like that!"

Draco glared at him and huffed. At least he just thought Harry was teasing him while in reality, he really _had_ forgotten. But it wasn't Harry's fault! He just had a problem with listening, especially when someone kept nagging about the same thing for _days_. He'd just started tuning Draco out at some point. Lucky he was so good at acting as if he was listening, a skill he'd only recently perfected by being near Tom.

"So when are we leaving?" Harry asked innocently.  
"I've been looking forward to this for so long already!"

He really couldn't care less about the World Cup. Quidditch was fun to play and a good way to waste time between pranking and making diabolical plans to take over the world. But Luna was going to be there, which was always a nice plus.

"The ministry provided me with a private Portkey," Mr. Malfoy said.  
"It's voice activated, so we'll leave after you're done… eating…"

Harry purposefully grinned with a mouth full of food to gross the man out some more. It seemed to work splendidly.

"I can't believe Bagman and Crouch can take this much on," Mrs. Malfoy sighed.  
"First the World Cup, and right after they can start preparing everything for the Tournament."

"What Tournament?" Harry asked confused.

This had Draco grin widely.

"Right! You don't know yet, do you?" he said proudly.  
"The Triwizard Tournament. It used to be done in the past, but they stopped it years ago. This year is the first time they start it up again, and Hogwarts will be hosting."

"And what does that mean exactly?" Harry wanted to know.

"It's a competition," Lucius Malfoy replied coolly.  
"Three Wizarding schools come together and a champion of every school is picked to compete."

Harry grinned again, too excited to even bother putting food in his mouth first.

"Awesome," he muttered, his eyes glinting evilly.

. . . . .

Traveling with Portkey was something Harry had never done before and something he wished he'd never have to do again. He landed on his back with a shout of surprise and Draco ended up on top of him, knocking the little bit of breath he had still left out of him.

"Get off!" he groaned.

Draco squeaked and scrambled off him hurriedly before holding out a hand to help him get back up.

"You alright?" Draco asked.

"Wonderful!" Harry replied sarcastically.  
"Never felt better! I love getting crushed by your fat ass."

Draco rolled his eyes and pulled Harry back on his feet while Lucius was staring down at them with that annoying superior sneer on his face. Harry was still waiting for the big reveal, when he could finally tell the world not only his true alliances, but also who had adopted him. People like Lucius Malfoy would go from looking down on him to kissing his feet.

"This way to the VIP tents," Narcissa told the two boys.  
"We have the tent next to Barty Crouch, actually."

Harry scowled and leaned closer to Draco.

"Barty who?" he whispered.

"Some ministry guy who's head of International Relations," Draco whispered back.  
"He did nearly all of the preparations for the World Cup, along with Ludo Bagman, head of the Sports Department."

Harry nodded in understanding and focused back on the tent that was apparently theirs. It was pretty big, like a family size tent in pristine white that made him want to go and ruin it.

"Go pick out rooms," Narcissa said.  
"I'll call for Dobby to prepare lunch for us shortly."

Draco grinned and entered the tent with Harry right behind him. The insane teen tensed in shock as he looked around. The inside looked like a modern penthouse apartment with its own kitchen and dining area. On both sides, there were several doors leading to four bedrooms and two bathrooms.

"It's bigger on the inside!" he giggled happily.

"I pick this room!" Draco called from the back left bedroom.

Harry laughed and picked the one next to him.

"Can we go look for Luna when we're done unpacking?" Harry called.

"Sure! I heard she had pretty crappy tickets, so she's been here already for a week," Draco replied.

"I doubt she is upset about that," Harry snorted.  
"Get to see the biggest sports event in the Wizarding World and a camping trip? Sounds exactly up Luna's alley!"

Draco laughed and walked back out of his room.

"Let's go find her, then," he offered amused.  
"Father won't mind. He'll be spending most of his time with his ministry friends anyway and mother will just hide out here until it's time. She doesn't particularly enjoy these things."

. . . . .

A large breasted woman came jogging past without a bra. Then, she came running backwards. Running in slow-motion forward and then backwards and again forward.

"Look at those bounce!" Harry murmured amazed.

"What?" Draco asked confused, looking away from the souvenir cart.  
"What in Salazar's name are you doing with those Omnioculars? They're supposed to be for the game."

"Making the best of it," Harry replied smirking, looking at his friend.  
"When you give me goggles that can replay, pause and slow action, I'm going to use that power to the best I know how!"

"Don't break them," Draco grumbled.  
"They're your birthday present. You're not getting anything else."

Harry grinned brightly and gave Draco a thumbs up.

"Message received!" he laughed.

"Do our ears not deceive us?" a familiar voice suddenly called out.

"It can't be. Those dulcet tones can only be one person!"

Draco groaned in annoyance and Harry turned around, spreading his arms wide.

"There is my favorite double action!" he laughed.

"Harry, our truest love!" Fred cried out dramatically.

"Such a strange sight, black hair," George teased.

"I would have colored it, but I'm not sure who I'll be cheering for," Harry sighed.

"Bulgaria of course!" Draco huffed.  
"They've got Krum! He's a bloody genius!"

"Right. The super Seeker," Harry remembered.  
"Hey! Have you guys seen Luna anywhere?"

"No, sorry," Fred said.

Harry's shoulders sagged and he pouted in disappointment.

"Don't worry, Harry. You'll find me soon," an airy voice said.

Harry squealed and hugged Luna as she walked up to them. The blonde giggled happily and hugged him back.

"How did you find us?" Harry asked.

"The I was hungry and I wanted to buy a rainbowsickle," Luna replied.  
"The Nargles must have led me to this cart particularly."

"I like Nargles," Harry said grinning.

"Yes, they're very useful and knowledgeable," Luna agreed dreamily.

"This is all wonderful, but if we don't hurry up and go back, mother father might leave without us," Draco piped up in a bored drawl.  
"It was great seeing you again, Luna. You should come to our tent after the game so we can talk a bit or something."

With that, he grabbed Harry's arm and dragged the other teen away from his friends. Harry whined pitifully about how little time he'd had to talk to the others while Fred and George laughed and Luna just smiled sweetly and waved him off.

Lucius was already impatiently waiting for them at their tents and silently commanded them with a jerk of his head to follow him. Harry rolled his eyes and Draco scowled unhappily.

"He _really_ doesn't like me, does he?" Harry asked.

"He doesn't believe you're on our side," Draco replied.  
"And he's scared that if he gets close to you, the Dark Lord will punish him when he returns."

Harry hummed but didn't reply. He still had no idea how Voldemort would react to his presence. Would he have to call up Tom or his dad to get the man to accept Harry was not his enemy? He wasn't really against killing Voldemort if he turned out to be difficult though.

They could hear the sounds of thousands of people moving around them, shouts and laughter, snatches of singing. The atmosphere of feverish excitement was highly infectious. Harry couldn't stop grinning. They walked through the wood for twenty minutes, talking and joking loudly, until at last they emerged on the other side and found themselves in the shadow of a gigantic stadium. Though Harry could see only a fraction of the immense gold walls surrounding the field, he could tell that there was enough room to fit a couple tens of thousands of people. Maybe even a hundred thousand.

Lucius showed a young witch at the entrance of the stadium their tickets and she smiled up at them before telling them to go to the top box, all the way up at the highest point. Lucius nodded and the four of them started going up the stairs. The climb was pretty long, and Harry met Luna again halfway there. The girl smiled brightly as he called her name and waved.

Eventually, they reached the top, finding Minister Fudge, the Bulgarian Minister and the Weasleys along with Hermione already there, along with a few other people. A terrified house elf was standing next to an empty seat trying really hard not to look down and Dobby gave a squeak in recognition, which caused Lucius to hit him with his walking stick in warning.

"Harry!" Hermione greeted smiling.

This had Fudge look up instantly and the Minister smiled at him.

"Good to see you again, my boy!" he said jovially.

Harry smiled brightly while he tried to remember when he had met the Minister before, but he couldn't think of it for some reason.

"Good to see you again too, Minister!" he greeted back, shaking the man's hand excitedly.

Fudge's smile widened and he turned back towards the Bulgarian Minister.

"Harry Potter, you know," he told him loudly.  
"Harry Potter… oh come on now, you know who he is… the boy who survived You-Know-Who… you do know who he is…"

It was obvious that the man couldn't understand a word English, making Harry grin and he stepped forward, thrusting his hand forward invitingly.

"Az sŭm Khari Potŭr," he introduced himself in a heavily accented Bulgarian.

The man's face lit up instantly and he shook Harry's hand with a newfound eagerness, babbling rapidly. Harry smiled charmingly and nodded along, not understanding a single word the man was saying. Tom had tried to teach him Bulgarian, but Harry hadn't gotten any further than introducing himself, cursing and declaring himself the new dictator. As far as he was concerned, he didn't need any more to get around in Bulgaria either.

"Ah, Fudge," Lucius said, holding out his hand once Harry had stepped away.  
"How are you? I don't think you've met my wife, Narcissa? Or our son, Draco?"

"How do you do, how do you do?" Fudge greeted, smiling and bowing to Mrs. Malfoy.  
"And allow me to introduce you to Mr. Oblansk — Obalonsk — Mr. — well, he's the Bulgarian Minister of Magic, and he can't understand a word I'm saying anyway, so never mind. And let's see who else — you know Arthur Weasley, I daresay?"

Harry grinned widely as the two men glared hatefully at each other and elbowed Draco to take their places. They were lucky to find two seats still open next to Fred and George. Lucius' cold gray eyes swept over Mr. Weasley, and then up and down the row.

"Good lord, Arthur," he said softly.  
"What did you have to sell to get seats in the Top Box? Surely your house wouldn't have fetched this much?"

"Lucius has just given a very generous contribution to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Arthur. He's here as my guest," Fudge said, not listening to what Lucius had just said to Mr. Weasley.

"How-how nice," said Mr. Weasley, with a very strained smile.

Mr. Malfoy's eyes had returned to Hermione, who went slightly pink, but stared determinedly back at him. Harry cackled loudly, making everyone look over at him. with a bright grin, Harry threw his arm over Fred's shoulder and winked at the Bulgarian Minister.

"Liebe deinen Nächsten," he said cheerfully.

The Bulgarian laughed amused and grinned at Harry before turning back towards his comrades to have a foreign conversation none of the British people understood even a single word from. It seemed the man understood more German than he did Bulgarian.

"What did you say?" Fudge asked Harry confused.

"Love thy neighbors," Draco replied in his friend's stead.  
"I didn't know you could speak so many languages, Quinn."

"Not at all! I make it all up as I go!" Harry laughed.

It was none of their business that his uncle Nygma had drilled several languages into him harshly. Apparently, being multilingual trained a brain to be more creative and intellectual or something like that. He never really payed much attention whenever someone tried to explain something to him.

Shortly after that, Ludo Bagman appeared in the box, gleaming in excitement and the event finally started. He greeted the Minister of Magic before turning towards the front of the box and casting a sonorous on himself.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome! Welcome to the final of the four hundred and twenty-second Quidditch World Cup!"

The spectators screamed and clapped. Thousands of flags waved, adding their discordant national anthems to the racket.

"And now, without further ado, allow me to introduce… the Bulgarian National Team Mascots!"

The right-hand side of the stands, which was a solid block of scarlet, roared its approval. Harry scrambled to grab his Omnioculars and zoom in as a hundred Veela walked into the field beneath them. They were incredibly beautiful and Harry could already imagine how amazing they all must be in bed.

The Veela started to dance, and Harry's mind had gone completely and blissfully blank. All that mattered in the world was that he kept watching the Veela, because if they stopped dancing, terrible things would happen. He wanted to fuck them all. Have a giant orgy with him and a hundred Veela babes. He'd probably die, but at least he'd go down in orgasmic bliss.

The music suddenly stopped and Harry blinked awake. He had his hands in his pants and his cock was rock hard and dripping pre-come. In front of them, the youngest surviving Weasley was standing on the wall of the box, ready to dive down as Hermione pulled him back down on his seat. A shame, Harry would have loved seeing him crash down on the field way, way below.

"They've stopped. You can stop too," Draco told him in a low voice, blushing in embarrassment.

"Huh?" Harry asked confused.

He looked down, where he was still trying to rub one out and grinned.

"Not when I'm this close," he said.

Fred chuckled and leaned over a bit, licking Harry's ear. Harry stifled a moan and came in his hand. George was right there to grab his hand and lick his semen off while Fred cast a cleaning charm on Harry's clothes. After that, Harry tucked himself back in and everyone sat back down as if nothing had happened. Draco was still blushing insanely, but it seemed no one else had noticed a thing.

The Irish Mascots came next, which was quite the spectacle too, Harry was sure, but he was a bit lax from his orgasm earlier. He'd never come so fast in his life, and he knew it was because of the Veela. They were real-life succubus witches.

Finally, the Quidditch game could begin.

. . . . .

"I can't believe how that ended," Draco marveled, laying on one of the couches in the tent.

"Me neither! That Bagman's got guts, giving Fred and George fake gold," Harry agreed.

Draco sat up immediately and scowled at his friend.

"I meant the score," he said annoyed.  
"Krum caught the Snitch, but Ireland won."

"Oh. Yeah, that was pretty amazing," Harry replied smirking.

Draco rolled his eyes and laid back down. Just then Lucius and Narcissa walked back in after having left a few minutes before. Mr. Malfoy looked absolutely ecstatic about something.

"Get some rest, boys," he said.  
"It'll happen in two hours."

Harry cocked his head, waiting for more of an explanation while Draco scowled confused. Instead of explaining, Lucius turned away and walked into the room reserved for him and his wife. Draco jumped up and opened his mouth to question what his father meant, but Harry stopped him.

"You heard the man. Up to bed," he said calmly.

"Aren't you curious?" Draco sputtered in shock.

"Absolutely, but what is life without a few surprises?"

. . . . .

Harry was roughly shaken awake by Narcissa two hours later. She was scowling deeply and a sleepy Draco stood next to her. A shivering Dobby was holding a lantern as he watched from a distance.

"Is it time?" Harry asked groggily.

"You two go with Dobby and hide out in the forest. I'll join you soon," Narcissa ordered calmly.

Harry nodded and sat up, yawning loudly and rubbing his eyes. It was more an act than real tiredness. He was more than used to sleepless nights. He'd once gone a whole week without. That was one heck of a week which had ended in Arkham, but that was just a bonus. They had pretty good infirmary beds.

"Where's father?" Draco asked confused.

"Busy. Now go the both of you!"

The two teens nodded and left the tent quickly. They followed Dobby into the woods and stayed there, watching through the thick bush as slowly, screams of panic started to rise deeper in the camping site. A large group of dark cloaked people started to approach in their direction, making Draco gasp in shock while Harry pulled out his Omnioculars to get a better look at them and the things floating above them.

The crowd were all wearing masks, the same kind his dad had told Death Eaters wore and the 'things' floating over them were a muggle family. The woman was held upside down to show off her underpants and Harry barked out a laugh.

"You think he's there?" he asked Draco, meaning his dad.

Draco scowled and nodded tensely.

"Probably," he mumbled.

More sounds of people fleeing in the woods had the two fall quiet. They were completely doused in darkness since Dobby had returned to Mrs. Malfoy's side. Suddenly, Harry heard a familiar voice shout in pain and he turned to peer through the darkness to where he guessed Ron Weasley had to be. Next to him, Draco smirked and pulled Harry with him closer to the voices.

"What happened?" they heard Hermione ask anxiously.  
"Ron, where are you? Oh this is stupid — _Lumos_!"

She illuminated her wand and directed its narrow beam across the path. Ron was lying sprawled on the ground.

"Tripped over a tree root," he said angrily, getting to his feet again.

"Well, with feet that size, hard not to," Draco drawled, leaning against a tree.

Harry chuckled as their two classmates turned around quickly to face them with wide eyes in surprise. Draco loved a dramatic entrance almost as much as he did himself. It was kind of fun.

"Go fuck yourself on a cactus, Malfoy!" Ron hissed, making Harry laugh harder.

"Language, Weasley," said Malfoy, his pale eyes glittering.  
"Hadn't you better be hurrying along, now? You wouldn't like her spotted, would you?"

He nodded at Hermione, and at the same moment, a blast like a bomb sounded from the campsite, and a flash of green light momentarily lit the trees around them. Harry jumped in excitement, his heart beating miles a minute. He wanted to go out there and have some fun himself. His entire body was tense in anticipation and he gave a breathless laugh. He was _really_ turned on. Even more than with the Veela.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked defiantly.

"Granger, they're after Muggles," Draco replied, rolling his eyes.  
"D'you want to be showing off your knickers in midair? Because if you do, hang around… They're moving this way and it would give us all a laugh."

"Hermione's a witch," Ron snarled.

"Have it your own way, Weasley," Draco said, grinning maliciously.  
"If you think they can't spot a Mudblood, stay where you are."

"You watch your mouth!" Ron shouted.

"Never mind, Ron," Hermione said quickly, seizing Ron's arm to restrain him as he took a step toward Draco.

There was a bang from the other side of the trees that was louder than anything they had heard. Several people nearby screamed. Harry squealed in excitement and clapped his hands childishly, his eyes widening and grinning deranged. Draco chuckled softly.

"Scare easily, don't they?" he said lazily.  
"I suppose your daddy told you all to hide? What's he up to? Trying to rescue the Muggles?"

"Where're your parents?" Ron shot back, his temper rising.  
"Out there wearing masks, are they?"

"Well… if they were, I wouldn't be likely to tell you, would I, Weasley?"

Harry couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Draco's sleeve and tugged insistently on it.

"Let's go get a closer look!" he urged, uncaring that Ron and Hermione were still right there.  
"I wanna go see them closer! I wanna see! Come on Draco! Let's go already!"

Draco laughed and allowed Harry to pull him back out of the forest. Harry already had his illegal wand in hand and as soon as they were in the middle of the chaos, he started throwing hexes and curses around. The darker the better. He didn't make a difference between Death Eaters and regular campers. Draco spend most his time casting shields, trying to keep Harry from getting hurt. He was still grinning though. Either Harry's insanity was finally catching on, or he was caught up in the excitement both Harry and earlier, his father, had shown.

"Come on, Draco! This way!" Harry shouted laughing before taking off between the tents.

"W-wait!" Draco called after him, but Harry didn't listen and just kept running.

He only stopped when he heard the crying of a kid. Usually, he kept to his own rule of never kill kids, but he was so hyped up on the violence, he just couldn't help himself. He raised his wand and pointed it at the tent he heard the crying from.

" _Incendo_!" he yelled gleefully.

There was an explosion of fire and suddenly, two more voices were screaming from inside. Harry laughed madly and danced away again. Some old man in a flowery nightgown was running in the other direction, away from the Death Eaters and Harry gleefully tripped him before diving out of sight between some more tents.

He stopped running when he found himself all alone in a clearing and he sat down, taking a deep breath. The air was filled with the smell of fire, making Harry sigh out pleasantly. He couldn't wait to tell Tom all about this. He'd probably be incredibly jealous when he heard Harry had been in the middle of a Death Eater attack. And so beautiful the destruction was too. He couldn't wait until he could do something like this to the entire Wizarding World…

He tensed when he heard someone stagger into the clearing and peered around from the shadows in an attempt not to be found out himself. The footsteps seemed to come from behind a group of dark trees. Harry got to his feet and peered around the tree. It was too dark to see very far, but he could sense somebody standing just beyond the range of his vision.

Suddenly and without warning, the silence was rent by a voice unfamiliar to Harry.

_"_ _MORSMORDRE!"_

Something vast, green, and glittering erupted from the patch of darkness Harry's eyes had been struggling to penetrate. It flew up over the treetops and into the sky. As it reached the sky, it became a colossal skull, comprised of what looked like emerald stars, with a serpent protruding from its mouth like a tongue. As they watched, it rose higher and higher, blazing in a haze of greenish smoke, etched against the black sky like a new constellation. Harry grinned up at the Dark Mark as suddenly, the woods around him erupted in screams of terror.

"Nice, but I can do better," he muttered cheerfully.

He pointed his own wand up in the air.

_"_ _Anatis!"_

Instantly, the skull turned into a large yellow rubber duck. Smirking proudly, Harry turned away and walked back towards where he'd last seen Draco.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of the rubber duck came from Nobody, who also gave the alternate suggestion of a giant ejaculating penis in the sky, but for some reason, I went with the tamer one.


	69. New Year, New Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Solo Harry, Masturbation, Harry/Fred/George, Threesome, Oral Sex, 69 position
> 
> Since this is the 69th chapter, we’ll celebrate with a little bit of smut, which was requested by whorecruxes. I hope you like it!
> 
> As usual, I’ll set a warning at the beginning and at the end so that those who don’t like it can skip it without a problem.

 

**_A NEW DARK LORD OR A JUVENILE ACT?_ **

_Yesterday at the Quidditch World Cup some very strange things seemed to have happened. After the surprising win of Ireland against Bulgaria, the festivities were cut short by nothing but a Death Eater attack._

_As you can all suspect, this was the cause of great chaos to ensue, but worry not! Your ever faithful reporter stayed at her post to record the entire attack beginning to end. An entire muggle family was tortured and the youngest child even killed before Aurors and ministry workers could save them. Many a supporter has ended up with severe injuries or worse, yet I still did not shy away and kept an eye out for the story you all deserve!_

_I found this story not in the attack and the murders, whom were many and terrible, but in the Dark Mark left behind by the Death Eaters. Only for a few seconds, the infamous Dark Mark, You-Know-Who’s terrible signature, was visible on the night sky before it turned into a large rubber duck._

_As your dutiful reporter went to investigate, two beings were found at the base of the crime: The Crouch House-elf and none other than young Harry Potter himself! It was eventually proven that the House-elf had stolen a wand of a fleeing wizard and used it to cast the Dark Mark in the air, however, neither that wand or Harry Potter’s wand could be found being used to change the Mark. Was it an accident? Was it a new, rising Dark Lord trying to make a point, or was it simply a juvenile prank?_

_All I know is that I, Rita Skeeter, will not rest until the truth behind the new Dark Mark is uncovered!_

*****Sex Scene*****

Harry decided to look for a private compartment on the train towards school. He’d been dreaming every night of the World Cup. Like he’d expected, Tom had been pretty jealous when he wrote the other about it, and the older teen demanded his memories of the attack once they were back home over Christmas. Harry planned to add in the memory of himself jacking off to the Veela too. Tom would definitely be able to appreciate that one.

 ** _*You smell aroused again,*_** Malinda noted.

 ** _*I can’t help it!*_** Harry hissed in reply, grinning at the snake.

Malinda sighed and shook her head before she started slithering back up to the luggage rack probably to sleep some more.

**_*Don’t play too much or the mating organ may fall off.*_ **

He laughed and leaned back in his seat. His fly was already down and his hand stuffed back in his pants. That Death Eater raid was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen. All that dark energy floating in the air, making his brain hazy with adrenaline and endorphins. He wasn’t even sure if those two could be released at the same time, all he knew was that it had felt as if he was going to die from the feeling. He wanted that again.

The door to his compartment slid open, but Harry barely heard it as he gasped in pleasure his own hand brought him. His body felt so hot, and it was probably partly because even though he’d been on edge for days, he’d been making due with just masturbation instead of a good hard fuck.

“Again?” Fred asked chuckling.

Harry looked up and flashed a smirk at the twins while he kept jacking off. George chuckled and closed the door again, putting a locking charm on it before turning towards Harry with a predatory grin.

“Need help?” he asked in a low voice.

“Desperately,” Harry gasped smirking.

Fred laughed and pushed Harry on his back.

“I could use some help too,” the redhead said.

Harry grinned in excitement as Fred crawled over him, head over crotch and crotch over head. The younger teen didn’t hesitate to undo Fred’s pants and pull out his cock. Fred canted his hips down a bit, allowing his half-hard to sink into Harry’s hot mouth. Meanwhile, he pressed a soft kiss to the head of Harry’s straining erection before taking it in his mouth as well.

“Don’t leave me out!” George exclaimed laughing.

He squatted down next to the seat and pulled his brother’s head up by his hair to be able to access Harry’s cock. The younger teen moaned at the feeling of two tongue’s lapping to his aching shaft and his hips thrusted upwards in a desperate attempt to get more. The laughter of the twins had Harry groan loudly from the vibrations it send down his erection. Two sets of hands pressed his hips down and kept him pinned to the seat while they continued pleasuring him with their mouths. Harry had to let go of Fred’s cock to moan loudly and instead used his hand to rub the older teen.

“Fuck! I’m getting close,” he panted.

“Help me out too, Harry,” George said in a breathless voice of himself.

He pressed up on the couch, thrusting his hips towards Harry’s face. His pants were tenting and Harry chuckled. He quickly took Fred back in his mouth so he had both his hands free to undo George’s pants and pull out his cock.

Harry wasn’t fond of the taste of cum at all, so as soon as he started tasting it on his tongue, he popped Fred’s cock back out of his mouth and instead opted to just jerk both older boys off. They seemed to like it well enough as it was and before long, Fred came all over Harry’s hand and face with a loud groan. Harry’s own orgasm didn’t wait long after that and he came over both Fred and George’s faces, who continued licking him clean. A minute later, Harry got George to come too and they quickly cleaned themselves back up. As soon as they all settled down again, Malinda’s head popped up from behind Harry’s trunk.

 ***Is it safe?*** she asked.

Harry laughed. He was still lying on his back over the entire length of the seat while Fred and George had taken the seats opposite of him. Malinda slithered down and came to rest on Harry’s stomach, her tongue flicked out almost constantly, and her pupils were blown so wide the poisonous green was barely visible anymore.

 ***You watched the whole thing, admit it!*** Harry accused his familiar.

 ***Perhapsssss,*** Malinda hissed amused.

*****End Sex Scene*****

“Thanks for the scratch,” Harry said lazily.

“No problem!” Fred laughed.

“We could use one too, anyway,” George said, shrugging.

“Everyone’s been keeping bloody secrets,” Fred added with a scowl.

This had Harry sit up and raise a brow.

“What about?” he asked curiously.

“Something happening at Hogwarts,” Fred said.  
“Mum and dad have been all secretive about it.”

“Percy, Bill and Charlie know too,” George muttered bitterly.  
“Charlie’ll even come to school because of this thing…”

Charlie Weasley had something to do with the Triwizard Tournament? Well that was definitely interesting. But what would he have to do with it? Wasn’t he a curse breaker for Gringotts… no, that was the oldest, Bill. Charlie was a…

“Isn’t he a dragon tamer?” Harry asked wide-eyed.

“He is,” Fred agreed, scowling confused.

Harry started grinning, making both twins frown and they moved to sit next to Harry, caging him in between them.

“What do you know that we don’t?” Fred asked lowly.

“Nothing~” Harry replied innocently.

“Don’t play with us, Harry,” George warned darkly.

Harry’s grin widened, gaining something sharp and evil that had both redheads sit up cautiously.

“All I’ll say is that this year is going to be **_very interesting,_** ” he said smirking.

.              .              .               .              .

The start of term feast was as it always was, with a lot of noise and several new students. Harry, who had taken the time that morning before departing to the train station and dyed his hair bright, eye-watering pink, had loudly declared himself the den-mother of all new baby snakes and had grabbed two new boys, Pritchard and Baddock, in his arms and hadn’t let them go yet. Both boys looked absolutely terrified the entire time. Only when all the food was gone and Dumbledore stood up for his annual speech did Harry let go of them and the two boys scrambled back to their own seats.

“So!” Dumbledore started cheerfully, smiling around at them all.  
“Now that we are all fed and watered, I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr. Filch’s office, if anybody would like to check it.”

The corners of Dumbledore’s mouth twitched in amusement and Harry too grinned. He’d loved to take a look at that list and try out every single item on it, see what made them banned… or just to annoy Filch.

“As ever, I would like to remind you all that the forest on the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year,” he continued.  
“It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup will not take place this year.”

 _“What?!”_ Adrian Pucey gasped in horror.

The rest of the Slytherin team was muttering among each other, except for Harry and Draco, who looked at each other and smirked knowingly.

“This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers’ time and energy,” Dumbledore went on.  
But I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts-”

But at that moment, there was a deafening rumble of thunder and the doors of the Great Hall banged open. A man stood in the doorway, leaning on a long staff, shrouded in a black traveling cloak. Every head in the Great Hall swiveled toward the stranger, suddenly brightly illuminated by a fork of lightning that flashed across the ceiling. He lowered his hood, shook out a long, messy dark gray hair, then began to walk up toward the teachers’ table. A dull clunk echoed through the Hall on his every other step. He reached the end of the top table, turned right, and limped heavily toward Dumbledore. Another flash of lightning crossed the ceiling and showed the many scars littering his face, as well as the fake, electric blue eye that swiveled around continuously in his eye socket.

“Alastor Moody,” Blaise mumbled in disbelieve.

Theo’s hands tightened in fists and he glared hatefully at the man, as did Draco.

“Dark wizard catcher, Mad-Eye,” Theo gritted.  
“Send half my family to Azkaban. Killed several others.”

“My aunt and uncle are in there because of him,” Draco added bitterly.

Harry’s eyes narrowed as he tracked the scarred man’s movements. That man could possibly impose a problem to him and his plans if he were to stay longer than any other Defense teacher.

“Then we’ll just have to make sure he falls by the curse,” he muttered darkly.

For the first time since the start of Harry’s pranking habit, Draco was the first to offer his help in this new endeavor. Dumbledore quickly introduced everyone to Professor Moody, but most were too shocked to give the new teacher a proper welcome. Except Harry, who gave the man a standing ovation and catcalled him.

“As I was saying,” Dumbledore said while all students were still completely focused on Mad-Eye Moody.  
“We are to have the honor of hosting a very exciting event over the coming months, an event that has not been held for over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year.”

George’s eyes snapped over to Harry instantly and the pink haired teen smirked and winked.

“You’re JOKING!” Fred exclaimed loudly.

The tension that had filled the Hall ever since Moody’s arrival suddenly broke. Nearly everyone laughed, and Dumbledore chuckled appreciatively.

“I am not joking, Mr. Weasley,” he said.  
“Though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar…”

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat loudly.

“Er… but maybe this is not the time,” Dumbledore said  
“Where was I? Ah yes, the Triwizard Tournament-”

“No! Tell us the joke!” Harry yelled, making some of the other students chuckle.

Dumbledore just smiled amused at him.

“As I was saying. Some of you will not know what this tournament involves, so I hope those who do know will forgive me for giving a short explanation, and allow their attention to wander freely.”

Harry almost immediately stood up and walked away from the table, ignoring the many eyes on him as he casually strolled through the Great Hall. As he passed the Ravenclaw table, Luna got up and joined him with a dreamy smile.

“The Triwizard Tournament was first established some seven hundred years ago as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry: Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang,” Dumbledore explained unbothered by Harry’s antics.  
“A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. The schools took it in turns to host the tournament once every five years, and it was generally agreed to be a most excellent way of establishing ties between young witches and wizards of different nationalities — until, that is, the death toll mounted so high that the tournament was discontinued.”

Several students gasped and whispered among each other while Harry while just chuckled and jumped in top of the Hufflepuff table, pulling Luna along with him.

“Mr. Quinzel!” Snape’s angry voice rang through the Hall.  
“ _What_ do you think you’re doing?! Get down this instant!”

“I tend to wander alongside my attention, sir,” Harry replied blankly, making the twins burst out laughing.

_“Sit down!”_

Harry shrugged and sat down cross legged in the middle of the Hufflepuff table. Luna giggled and knelt down next to him.

“I don’t think this was what he meant, Harry,” she whispered.

“No, but this is much more fun,” Harry countered with a grin.

After a few tense moments, Snape jumped up from his seat and he strode over to where Harry and Luna were seated with a thunderous expression. All the Hufflepuffs scrambled out of the way as the Potions Master grabbed Harry’s arm and dragged him back over to his own table while Luna happily skipped back to her seat next to Astoria.

“The heads of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving with their short-listed contenders in October, and the selection of the three champions will take place at Halloween,” Dumbledore said calmly.  
“An impartial judge will decide which students are most worthy to compete for the Triwizard Cup, the glory of their school, and a thousand Galleons personal prize money.”

Harry’s eyes glittered in excitement. He had of course known of the Tournament since before, but now it was made official. He was so going to try and get in! He was not the only person who seemed to be visualizing himself as the Hogwarts champion. At every House table, Harry could see people either gazing raptly at Dumbledore, or else whispering fervently to their neighbors. But then Dumbledore spoke again, and the Hall quieted once more.

“Eager though I know all of you will be to bring the Triwizard Cup to Hogwarts,” Dumbledore said.  
“The heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year. Only students who are of age — that is to say, seventeen years or older — will be allowed to put forward their names for consideration. This-”

Loud noises of outraged drowned Dumbledore out, with Fred, George and Harry being some of the loudest protestors, but others, like Draco and Adrian Pucey seemed pretty unhappy about it too. Dumbledore had to use the sonorous charm to make himself heard again, as Harry kept screaming louder every time he tried to start talking again until Snape cast a silencing charm on him.

“This is a measure we feel is necessary, given that the tournament tasks will still be difficult and dangerous, whatever precautions we take, and it is highly unlikely that students below sixth and seventh year will be able to cope with them. I will personally be ensuring that no underage student hoodwinks our impartial judge into making them Hogwarts champion.”

Harry pouted a little, but it was mostly just for show. With a bit of a challenge, it would be more fun anyway. He could already see the faces of his classmates when his name was called forward as the Hogwarts Champion.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KuroMegane was the one to suggest the headline of the Daily Prophet, so thanks!


	70. Mad-Eye Moody

Most of the entire Slytherin 4th years were in a foul mood as they entered the Defense classroom. None of them wanted to be there, except Harry. He pulled Blaise into the seat next to him, right at the front of the class while Draco and Theo seated themselves all the way in the back. Neither of them wanted to be there, which was a sentiment shared by all the students from prominent Dark families.

Moody entered lastly and Harry jumped up straight away. He skipped over to the professor and grabbed his hand enthusiastically, smiling brightly.

"Mr. Professor Moody, sir! Such an honor to have you as a teacher!" he exclaimed.  
"I heard so much about you! Are you really more insane than I am? Can you teach me to be crazier? I heard you have the paranoia down to an art! I'm more of eccentric clown kind of crazy myself…"

The whole class laughed at the dirty look their teacher gave Harry before sending him back to his seat gruffly. Moody hobbled over to his desk and took out a register. He shook his long mane of grizzled gray hair out of his twisted and scarred face, and began to call out names, his normal eye moving steadily down the list while his magical eye swiveled around, fixing upon each student as he or she very reluctantly answered.

"Right then," he said, when the last person had declared themselves present.  
"I've had a letter from Professor Lupin about this class. Seems you've had a pretty thorough grounding in tackling Dark creatures — you've covered boggarts, Red Caps, hinkypunks, grindylows, Kappas, and werewolves, is that right?"

The entire class stayed quiet, many contemptuous glares aimed at the marred face, but Moody didn't seem to take it to heart and just continued with his lesson.

"But you're behind — very behind — on dealing with curses," he said.  
"So I'm here to bring you up to scratch on what wizards can do to each other. I've got one year to teach you how to deal with Dark-"

"How about you leave now instead!" Draco called out sneering.

The teacher stopped talking and his fake eye slid over to stare straight at the blond, who glared back defiantly. There were a lot of students mumbling in agreement with Draco's statement, making Harry chuckle amused. He hoped the teacher would be able to withstand all the hatred. It would be a bit anticlimactic if Moody gave up that easily.

"I don't doubt I have very little to still teach you concerning Dark Curses, Malfoy," Moody growled.  
"I bet your daddy taught you more than enough already, however, it's my job as a teacher to make sure you know the _repercussions_ of using Dark Magic too."

Draco glowered hatefully, but didn't say anything.

"So, let's get right to it. Which are the curses most heavily punished by law? Come on, most of you have a family member in Azkaban for using one, don't you?"

More hateful glares ensued, making Harry grin widely. He kind of liked Moody.

"How about you, Malfoy?" Moody asked, narrowing his eyes at the blond in the back.  
"You know at least one, don't you? The one your daddy claimed to have been under to avoid being arrested."

Draco went pink and looked away with a scowl, his lips pressed together defiantly. This made Harry bark out a loud laugh and he turned in his seat to properly face his friend.

"He's got you there!" he teased.  
"Play nice, Drakey-poo! Answer the man!"

"… Imperius Curse," Draco muttered reluctantly.

Moody smiled for the first time and nodded in agreement.

"Indeed! Many Dark Wizards claimed to have been under the power of the Imperius Curse after the fall of the Dark Lord," he said.  
"Since it is nearly impossible to find proof of one and the other, in the end it were those with the most political power and who were never really caught in the act that got away scathe free, like the Malfoys and the Notts…"

Both boys turned bright red and glowered in anger and hatred.

"Anyone knows another one?" Moody asked.

"Cruciatus Curse, sir!" Daphne spoke up bravely.  
"Must have hurt when my uncle cast it on you."

There was some snickering around her and she smirked deviously. Moody just gave her a thin-lipped smile and nodded.

"The torture curse," he said.  
"Anyone for the last one?"

"Avada Kedavra," Harry said calmly, stroking his scar with a wicked smirk.

The room fell quiet instantly and Moody slowly limped over to Harry, his expression unreadable as both his normal and magical eye were transfixed on his scar.

"Yes, the last and worst," he said.  
"Avada Kedavra… the Killing Curse."

"I have a different opinion on that," Harry said smirking.  
"I think Avada Kedavra is the mildest of the three."

Moody looked at him in surprise, as did many of the students.

"How come?" the professor wanted to know.

"Well. Take the Imperius for example," Harry started, leaning forward in a lazy manner.  
"You take away someone's choice. Steal his will and make them do horrible things they can actually _remember_ doing once they're back themselves. You could have them kill their loved ones and they'll be forced to live with the knowledge it happened by their hands. They'll be tortured by guilt and nightmares for as long as they live."

Everyone was staring at Harry with wide eyes in shock, making the teen smirk and ruffle his bright pink hair.

"Talking about torture…" he drawled in a bored tone.  
"The Cruciatus is pretty terrible too. Just imagine. The incredible pain, unable to relief yourself from it, unable to get used to it… When you're under too long, your mind breaks. You'll never recover, nerve damage, brain damage, PTSD…"

He paused for a moment, smirking darkly at Moody, who was staring wide-eyed in awe.

"And then there are the Longbottoms," he sighed casually.  
"Neville's parents were tortured to insanity, right? My uncle told me. I think I got the better end of the deal in that one. Just think about it. Having to see your parents in that state, where they're unable to even recognize you. You'll feel responsible for them your entire life, the knowledge of what has been done to them, how hard they've suffered to protect you stays with you your entire life, haunts you…"

The entire room was so quiet, Harry thought that if he dropped a needle, it would sound almost deafening. He smirked.

"My parents died quick and painless," he said.  
"And I could move on, find a new family to love me. Neville Longbottom is stuck forever with parents who will never be able to do more than sleep and fart and a grandmother who is bitter for having lost her son instead of her grandson."

He stopped talking after that, but no one seemed to be able to fill the silence he left behind. Harry chuckled and leaned back into his seat, grinning darkly.

"But that's just my opinion," he shrugged amused.

. . . . .

Harry was walking back towards the common room together with Draco when an arguing Hermione and Ron approached them. Draco gave a low groan and quickly turned away, trying to pull Harry with him.

"Harry!" Hermione called out, smiling brightly in his direction.

Harry pulled himself free and approached the Gryffindor girl, ignoring the glares he received from both Draco and Ron for doing so. The girl was carrying a box, which contents made a lot of noise with every movement. Harry cocked his head.

"What's in the box?" he asked, pointing at it.

"Funny you should ask," Hermione said, with a nasty look at Ron.

She took off the lid and showed them the contents. Inside were about fifty badges, all of different colors, but all bearing the same letters: S.P.E.W.

"'Spew'?" Harry asked, picking up a badge and looking at it.  
"Not that I'm against wearing a badge to promote vomiting, but why?"

"Not spew," Hermione replied impatiently, glaring at him.  
"It's S-P-E-W. Stands for the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare."

"Never heard of it," Draco drawled from a distance, glaring in distain.

"Well, of course you haven't," Hermione sneered.  
"I've only just started it."

"Yeah?" Draco asked sarcastically.  
"How many members have you got?"

"Well — if you two join — four," Hermione replied blushing.

"And you think I want to walk around wearing badges saying 'spew,' do you?" said Ron.

"S-P-E-W!" Hermione countered hotly.  
"I was going to put Stop the Outrageous Abuse of Our Fellow Magical Creatures and Campaign for a Change in Their Legal Status — but it wouldn't fit. So that's the heading of our manifesto."

She brandished the sheaf of parchment at them.

"I've been researching it thoroughly in the library. Elf enslavement goes back centuries. I can't believe no one's done anything about it before now."

"Hermione. Open your ears," Ron said loudly.  
"They. Like. It. They like being enslaved!"

"Dobby doesn't," Harry remembered grinning, making Draco's glare even more bitterly.  
"He wouldn't have come crying to me if he liked serving you, right Drakey?"

"Did you free him?" Hermione asked eagerly.

"Of course I did! Bought him from the Malfoys for a hefty price and gave him clothes. He's very happy and living in a small cottage back in Blüdhaven's magical community, making money as a shop clergy."

Hermione smiled happily at that and handed him a badge.

"That's great! So you'll be a member of S.P.E.W, right?"

"You must be barking!" Draco growled, pulling Harry away.  
"As if we'd want to be a part of something that ridiculous. C'mon, Quinn. We're leaving."

"You heard the boss, Hermione!" Harry laughed as he allowed himself to be dragged away.

. . . . .

Over the passing few weeks, Harry spend most of his time planning pranks with most the entire Slytherin House to get to Moody. So far, none of them had worked yet. It seemed Mad-Eye took his CONSTANT VIGILLIANCE very seriously, much to everyone's annoyance. In the end, Harry lost interest and instead started focusing back on Snape.

He got Snape with sneakily switching the professor's with a concoction of his own that would cause people to fart glitters. Then released about two hundred bats his private room. He received five weeks of detention and lost 30 points, but it was definitely worth it.

He wished he still had Quidditch to distract him. Nothing worked so well on a bored mind as a good, hard training session. On the other hand, their lessons were becoming more difficult and demanding than ever before, particularly Moody's Defense Against the Dark Arts. To their surprise, Professor Moody had announced that he would be putting the Imperius Curse on each of them in turn, to demonstrate its power and to see whether they could resist its effects.

"But-but you said it's illegal, Professor," Pansy exclaimed horrified.

"Is it, Miss Parkinson?" professor Moody sneered.  
"I quite remember your uncle having used it many times before he died. Didn't your father claim to have been a puppet of his?"

The girl went bright pink and looked down. Harry smirked a little at that. Half of his peers here Death Eaters in their family and their new Defense teacher loved reminding them of the fact nearly all of them had ended up in Azkaban because of him.

"Alright! Can I get a volunteer?"

Harry's hand shot up straight in the air, making several around him groan. Draco, however, gave a loud, barking laugh.

"I bet you don't have enough of a sane mind left to be controlled!" he teased.

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm the most sane person here!" Harry scoffed, making the other students laugh.

Harry moved forward into the middle of the classroom, into the space that Moody had cleared of desks. Moody raised his wand, pointed it at Harry.

 _"_ _Imperio!"_

It was the most wonderful feeling. Harry felt a floating sensation as every thought and worry in his head was wiped gently away, leaving nothing but a vague, untraceable happiness. He stood there feeling immensely relaxed, only dimly aware of everyone watching him. And then he heard Mad-Eye Moody's voice, echoing in some distant chamber of his empty brain:

_Jump onto the desk… Jump onto the desk…_

Harry bent his knees obediently, preparing to spring.

_Jump onto the desk…_

Harry wiggled his ass comically and leaped. The happy feeling was gone instantly as Professor Moody shrieked in surprise and toppled over. The entire class roared with laughter as Harry sat up on top of his teacher with a teasing grin.

"Sorry. I lose my sense of direction when mind-controlled," he said teasingly.  
"But hey! Thanks for the soft landing! You're a real champ, teach!"

A loud clatter had Harry look over to find Theo lying on the ground, shaking and hiccupping with laughter. Harry chuckled and skipped over.

"That was fun!" he exclaimed.  
"Can I do you next? I swear I'll be gentle."

He batted his eyes at Moody sweetly, and the man just scowled back at him as he struggled back on his feet. The class was dismissed after that, since no one was able to get out a single coherent word between their laughter.

"Quinn. I love you," Draco sighed happily.

"Stop, you're making me blush!" Harry giggled innocently.

. . . . .

When they arrived in the entrance hall, they found themselves unable to proceed owing to the large crowd of students congregated there, all milling around a large sign that had been erected at the foot of the marble staircase. Harry nodded towards Draco, who motioned Crabbe and Goyle over. The bulky duo elbowed through the crowd easily enough and the other Slytherins followed to take a look.

**_TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT_ **

_The delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving at 6 o'clock on Friday the 30th of October. Lessons will end half an hour early —_

_Students will return their bags and books to their dormitories and assemble in front of the castle to greet our guests before the Welcoming Feast._

"Only a week away!" Ernie Macmillan of Hufflepuff exclaimed.  
"I wonder if Cedric knows? Think I'll go and tell him…"

"Diggory's entering?" Harry asked surprised.

"Who cares! It'll be a Slytherin to get it," Pansy said.

. . . . .

When they went down to breakfast on the morning of the thirtieth of October, they found that the Great Hall had been decorated overnight. Enormous silk banners hung from the walls, each of them representing a Hogwarts House. Red with a gold lion for Gryffindor, blue with a bronze eagle for Ravenclaw, yellow with a black badger for Hufflepuff, and green with a silver serpent for Slytherin. Behind the teachers' table, the largest banner of all bore the Hogwarts coat of arms. A lion, eagle, badger, and snake united around a large letter H.

Harry had, for the special occasion, dressed himself in the most extravagant rainbow-colored robes, large pink, heart shaped glasses glittering platform shoes that made him almost half a foot taller. Unfortunately, Snape had caught him half an hour before the other schools were expected and had forced him back into his school uniform, even threatening to turn Harry's hair black again. Harry had reluctantly apologized and instead bargained for two extra weeks of detention.

They were all led outside to greet the guests when it was almost six. Harry was more giddy than ever, while Draco looked particularly gloomy. No one else seemed to really understand why they were in such extreme moods, but they didn't dare ask and just figured Harry was once again up to something.

The delegation from Beauxbatons arrived first in a gigantic, powder blue, horse-drawn carriage, the size of a large house. The Abraxian pegasi were winged palomino horses the size of elephants and they had several students jump back as they landed on the grounds.

Harry just had time to see that the door of the carriage bore a coat of arms (two crossed, golden wands, each emitting three stars) before it opened. A boy in pale blue robes jumped down from the carriage, bent forward, fumbled for a moment with something on the carriage floor, and unfolded a set of golden steps. He sprang back respectfully. Then Harry saw a giant, high-heeled black shoe emerging from the inside of the carriage followed, almost immediately, by the largest woman he had ever seen in his life. The size of the carriage, and of the horses, was immediately explained. A few people gasped.

The woman stepping out was possibly bigger than Hagrid. She was rather good-looking, with a stereotypical witch's nose and a silk black dress. She had a lot of jewelry on as well, hurting Harry's eyes a little bit and he pouted.

"She can walk around all fancy, and I wasn't allowed," he whined.

"She's just wearing stylish black and some jewelry," Daphne pointed out dryly.  
"You looked like a badly dressed 70's My Little Pony threw up on you."

"Huh… didn't even know you'd ever heard of My Little Pony…" Harry mumbled.

About a dozen boys and girls, all, by the look of them, in their late teens, emerged from the carriage and came standing behind Madame Maxime. They were shivering, which was unsurprising, given that their robes seemed to be made of fine silk, and none of them were wearing cloaks. A few had wrapped scarves and shawls around their heads. From what Harry could see of them – they were standing in Madame Maxime's enormous shadow – they were staring up at Hogwarts with apprehensive looks on their faces.

Dumbledore led the Beauxbatons students inside to warm up while promising to tell Hagrid the horses only drank single malt whiskey, which had Harry whine again that the horses could get booze, but he was considered too young for it.

They stood, shivering slightly now, waiting for the Durmstrang party to arrive. Most people were gazing hopefully up at the sky. For a few minutes, the silence was broken only by Madame Maxime's huge horses snorting and stamping. Suddenly, a loud and oddly eerie noise was drifting toward them from out of the darkness.

"The lake!" Lee Jordan yelled, pointing down at it.  
"Look at the lake!"

From their position at the top of the lawns overlooking the grounds, they had a clear view of the smooth black surface of the water — except that the surface was suddenly not smooth at all. Giant bubbles were forming on the surface, waves were now washing over the muddy banks — and then, out in the very middle of the lake, a whirlpool appeared. What seemed to be a long, black pole began to rise slowly out of the heart of the whirlpool and then Harry saw the rigging.

"It's a mast!" he exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.

Slowly, the ship rose out of the water, gleaming in the moonlight. It looked a bit like a resurrected wreck. Finally, with a loud sloshing noise, the ship emerged entirely, bobbing on the turbulent water and began to glide toward the bank. A few moments later, they heard the splash of an anchor being thrown down in the shallows, and the thud of a plank being lowered onto the bank.

The Durmstrang students all wore large, furry cloaks. Their headmaster, Igor Karkarov, wore a sleek silver cloak that fitted his white hair and goatee. While he greeted Dumbledore as old friends, Harry turned his attention to the students, eager to find a certain someone. It was hard to spot Tom, since he had dyed his hair blond and turned his eyes blue to disguise himself properly, but Harry was eventually able to find him talking to none other than Viktor Krum.

. . . . .

All the students filed back into the Great Hall, most of them talking eagerly about Viktor Krum. Even Draco was clamping onto Harry's arm, babbling excitedly.

"He'll sit with us, won't he?" he said.  
"I mean, he's friends with _him_ so of course they'll sit with us."

"No idea who _he_ is," Harry said blankly.  
"In fact, I don't know anyone in Durmstrang."

Tom had send him a message a few weeks earlier to tell them they would have to act as if they didn't know each other while he was there. The paranoid fuck was worried Dumbledore would figure it out if Harry and Tom hung around each other too much.

As soon as Harry and his friends had sat down, Tom led the Durmstrang students towards them as well, a wide, amused smirk stuck to his handsome face. He sat down next to Harry, making Draco, who sat on Harry's other side, scowl in displeasure. None of the others were bothered at all, since Krum took the seat across from Tom and next to Daphne, who was blushing for the first time Harry had ever seen. The blonde was not for nothing the Ice Queen of Slytherin.

"Viktor Krum. Pleasure to make your acquaintance," she said coolly.  
"I'm Daphne Greengrass. This is Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy over there and-"

"Harry Potter," Tom said smirking, his eyes glinting in amusement.

"Don't know him," Harry replied deadpan.

Tom chuckled a bit while the other Durmstrang students looked confused. Blaise and Theo were looking at each other with wide grins and Pansy was holding a hand over her mouth to hide her chuckling in a lady-like manner.

"He despises that name," Blaise explained.  
"Everyone here knows him as Harry Quinn, or just Quinn."

"Vhy do you hate you own name?" Viktor Krum asked confused.

"It's not the name per se," Harry shrugged.  
"Though I don't see a reason to be called 'Potter' when I grew up as 'Quinzel' just because it's famous."

He rolled his eyes at that and sneered as if being famous made him nauseous. Several of the Slytherins nodded in agreement while most of the Durmstrang students scowled.

"Vhat is vrong vith being famous?" one boy asked.  
"Viktor is famous too."

"Viktor Krum is famous by choice," a soft girly voice spoke up.

Harry grinned and turned to look at Luna, who was standing behind him. Draco was quick to shuffle to the side and let the Ravenclaw girl sit between him and Harry.

"Glad you could join us, Luna!" the pink haired boy said cheerfully.

Luna smiled at him before turning back to look at Krum and the other Durmstrang students.

"Harry Potter is the _Boy Who Lived_. He carries the fate of the Wizarding World with him because he survived once," she said, her eyes staring intensely at the uncomfortable foreigners.  
"Harry Quinn is just a student who has a lot of fun."

Harry grinned wider and nodded in agreement.

"See? Who wouldn't want to be Harry Quinn!" he cackled.

"Does the insanity come with it, or can we be you without that?" Draco asked.

"Insanity doesn't hurt, Draco," Harry said, smirking mischievously.  
" ** _At least not for the person who is insane_**. Hehe."

The feast had an assortment of foreign dishes this time around, to please the guests. Pansy was quick to grab a plate of bouillabaisse before making grabbing a second for Draco, who accepted wordlessly and started eating. Pansy had the odd habit of doing things like this for the blond. Either she made him a plate of food, combed his hair or dusted off his clothes. It was obvious she was trying to prove she could be a good wife to him.

"We ate it in France several times," Draco explained shrugging.  
"It's rather good, actually. You should try some too, Quinn."

"Maybe later," Harry replied grinning.

"I personally don't eat anything fish related," Daphne stated haughtily.

"Vhy not?" a Durmstrang girl wanted to know.

"Because they're cold and creepy."

"Ladies and gentlemen, a spoiled brat at its finest!" Harry laughed, which earned him a harsh kick to the shin.

Once the golden plates had been wiped clean, Dumbledore stood up again. A pleasant sort of tension seemed to fill the Hall now. Harry grinned and moved Luna to finally sit in between him and Tom, whom she greeted with a bright smile.

"The moment has come," Dumbledore announced.  
"The Triwizard Tournament is about to start. I would like to say a few words of explanation before we bring in the casket-"

"Zombies or vampires?" Harry yelled, making some people chuckle softly.

"-Just to clarify the procedure that we will be following this year. But first, let me introduce, for those who do not know them, Mr. Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation and Mr. Ludo Bagman, Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports."

Harry pouted a bit at being ignored by the headmaster again, but was quick to get over it and just continued on unbothered.

"Mr. Bagman and Mr. Crouch have worked tirelessly over the last few months on the arrangements for the Triwizard Tournament," Dumbledore continued.  
"And they will be joining myself, Professor Karkaroff, and Madame Maxime on the panel that will judge the champions' efforts."

At the mention of the word "champions," the attentiveness of the listening students seemed to sharpen.

"The casket, then, if you please, Mr. Filch."

Filch came in, carrying a large wooden box, which he placed in the teacher's table in front of Dumbledore. After a bit more explanation on what the Champions had to be and on what they would be chose, Dumbledore tapped the box three times with his wand and it opened, showing a large, roughly hewn wooden cup. It would have been entirely unremarkable had it not been full to the brim with dancing blue-white flames.

"The champions will be chosen by an impartial selector: the Goblet of Fire," Dumbledore said.  
"Anybody wishing to submit themselves as champion must write their name and school clearly upon a slip of parchment and drop it into the goblet."

. . . . .

Harry entered back into the entrance hall in the middle of the night with a large basket filled with pieces of parchment with his name scribbled on them. He had the three different ones. Harry Quinzel, Harry Potter and Harry Quinn to up his possibilities.

As Dumbledore had told them, he'd drew an age line around the Goblet of Fire, but Harry had a plan to get past it. He grabbed his flask of aging potion and took a good swig, enough to make him eighteen for a short while. He only had to be seventeen, but he liked to be better safe than sorry. It was a ticklish feeling to age up so swiftly and once it was done, Harry grabbed his first folded name piece and stepped forward.

For a moment, nothing happened, making Harry believe it had worked before a powerful force pushed him backwards. There was a loud popping noise as Harry tried to sit back up and his chin started tickling. He reached up and his eyes widened in horror as he felt the large white beard that had sprouted.

"Amusing."

Harry looked up startled to find Tom leaning against the wall, smirking at him. Malinda was resting on his shoulders, flitting out her tongue with an amused hiss.

"Quick! How's my hair!" Harry asked hurried.

"Still hideously pink," Tm assured him smirking.

"Thank fuck! I didn't want to dye it again."

After chuckling a bit longer on Harry's predicament, he stepped forward and brandished his wand, chanting a long, confusing incantation. The beard shrunk away again and Harry grinned.

"Thanks!" he said grinning.

"Give up. Dumbledore drew that age line. Nothing will get past that," Tom told him.

 ** _*Hatchling should listen to Tiny Master and go back to sleep,*_** Malinda hissed.

Harry scowled as he watched Tom and Malinda leave again before looking down at his basket full of paper name cards. The one he had in his hand was lying half burned on the ground. With a sad pout, he grabbed another one and stared at it for a while.

"Fuck it," Harry muttered frustrated.

He crumbled the piece of paper in a ball and threw it at the Goblet. It soared through the air and landed nicely inside. For a few seconds, Harry just stared frozen in shock before he started grinning broadly.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" he muttered.

He plopped down on the ground and started folding little paper airplanes from all his remaining name papers. He cracked the damn age line.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of the hundreds of papers with his name in the Goblet by just throwing them over was Nobody's. Looks like they have fun giving me great ideas, and I have fun reading them, so keep them coming! I'll be using a lot more of the ones you already send me by the way and I'll do my best to give credit whenever I do.
> 
> (I probably missed a few in earlier chapters from you or someone else and if I did, I'm sorry.


	71. The Goblet of Fire

Harry walked into the dorm that was readied for the Durmstrang students. For the time being, it was only Tom in there, since everyone else was having an early breakfast to be able to get their names in the Goblet, or at least watch others do it. Unsurprisingly, Tom had declined the offer to join so he could read a _book_. Anti-social asshole. And that after he’d gotten into Hogwarts under the ruse that he would enter.

“You still look really weird blonde,” he commented.

Tom lowered his book and looked at Harry with a raised brow.

“If you want something, ask,” he said calmly.

Harry scowled in annoyance and he walked over, plopping down on Tom’s bed next to the older teen.

“Believe it or not, but I just like your company sometimes,” he drawled.  
“Not everyone wants something from you, you know. I just want to be around you.”

Tom rolled his eyes and earmarked his book before putting it aside. He grabbed Harry’s elbow roughly and pulled the younger teen underneath him, looming over Harry with a dark smirk.

“If you want to be around me, then you should let me in you,” he whispered.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was positively glowing as he entered the entrance hall in front of the Great Hall, though barely anyone noticed him, since everyone already present was staring at the Goblet, which was still standing in the middle of the hall like it had been that night. Oddly enough, about a hundred burned papers were lying around it, making Harry frown confused. He walked over and picked one up. ‘Ha--- Q----el’. Harry Quinzel. Fuck.

“Anyone put their name in yet?” Harry asked Daphne.

“All the Durmstrang lot,” she replied.  
“None from Hogwarts yet, though.”

“Some might have last night,” Draco said.

“Like you?” Harry asked teasingly, making his friend frown.

“I didn’t, actually,” he replied annoyed.  
“Couldn’t figure out how to trick the Age Line…”

Someone laughed behind Harry. Turning, he saw Fred, George, and Lee Jordan hurrying down the staircase, all three of them looking extremely excited.

“Done it,” Fred said in a triumphant whisper to Harry.  
“We’ve just taken it.”

Harry knew of the Twins’ plan of using an aging potion of course, just like he knew it wouldn’t work. He didn’t tell them that though. It would be way too much fun to watch them fail.

“One drop each,” George said, rubbing his hands together with glee.  
“We only need to be a few months older.”

“We’re going to split the thousand Galleons between the three of us if one of us wins,” Lee added, grinning broadly.

“Ready?” Fred asked the other two, quivering with excitement.  
“C’mon, then, I’ll go first.”

Harry watched, fascinated, as Fred pulled a slip of parchment out of his pocket bearing the words ‘Fred Weasley — Hogwarts’. Fred walked right up to the edge of the line and stood there, rocking on his toes like a diver preparing for a fifty-foot drop. Then, with the eyes of every person in the entrance hall upon him, he took a great breath and stepped over the line.

For a split second it looked like it had worked. George certainly thought so, as he let out a yell of triumph and leapt after Fred, but next moment, there was a loud sizzling sound and both twins were hurled out of the golden circle. They landed painfully ten feet away on the cold stone floor. There was a loud popping noise and both of them sprouted identical long white beards.

The entrance hall rang with laughter. Even Fred and George joined in, once they had gotten to their feet and taken a good look at each other’s beards.

“I did warn you,” a deep, amused voice said.

Everyone turned to see Professor Dumbledore coming out of the Great Hall. He looked over at Fred and George, his eyes twinkling.

“I suggest you both go up to Madam Pomfrey. She is already tending to Miss Fawcett, of Ravenclaw, and Mr. Summers, of Hufflepuff, both of whom decided to age themselves up a little too. Though I must say, neither of their beards is anything like as fine as yours.”

With that, he walked away again while Fred and George turned to do as they were told, Lee following them, howling with laughter. Harry quickly went after them and stopped the trio before they reached the staircase.

“You guys want to enter?” Harry asked the twins quietly.

The two bearded teens looked and their best friend at him with interest and leaned closer. Grinning, Harry wrote down his own name on a piece of parchment. ‘Itwa Snotme – Hogwarts’, and then folded it into an airplane. The three Gryffindor pranksters stared at him in awe as he gently let the little plane slide through the air, passed the age line and right into the blue fire. They had no idea that after a while, the cup would spit them back out.

“You like it? That was my third,” Harry told them grinning.  
“I already entered as Myfarts Smellbad and Albus Dumbledore. I was thinking of going as Severus Snape and Lord Voldemort too.”

“You’re kidding, right?” George asked.

“Would it be possible for one of the fake names to be chosen?” Lee wondered.

“I think you two have more chance getting past that line by doing a backwards summersault!” the younger teen laughed.  
“I’m basically just doing this because I’m bored and I couldn’t think of anything else. Now, should I get your names in too or not?”

The twins and Lee scrambled to write their names on two pieces of parchment and handed them to Harry, who quickly folded them and threw them in. All three planes, just like the former one, hit their marks and were consumed by the flames.

“How did you even think of this?” Fred marveled.

“That’s the sad thing about magic,” Harry said, shaking his head in disappointment.  
“Everyone forgets about the non-magical solutions.”

“Quinn!”

Harry and the twins looked up to find Draco, Crabbe and Goyle walking over. The blonde was sneering for some reason, or not. Harry was pretty sure Draco just sneered a lot because it made him look more like his sourpuss dad. That man always looked like he smelled something bad, but that could just be his dislike for Harry. He had no idea how the man looked when Harry wasn’t around.

“Draco! What can I help you with on this fine day?” Harry asked pleasantly.

Draco just scowled and thrust a piece of parchment into his friend’s hands. Harry looked down curiously to find the parchment simply had the name ‘Draco Lucius Malfoy – Hogwarts’ written on it. Harry rolled his eyes and started folding.

“And why do you want to enter?” he asked curiously.  
“I’m betting your father could just give you the prize money if you asked him.”

“Fame and glory, Quinn. Since you already _are_ a celebrity, you won’t understand.”

Harry chuckled and shrugged.

“You’re right. I don’t,” he answered.  
“But tell me, Draco, do you know the name of the person who won last time?”

Draco scowled in thought. While the blonde was distracted, Harry threw the plane. Just like the other three, it landed perfectly inside the goblet, making Harry grin proudly. All his hard work to perfect his aim really payed off it seemed.

“Good luck with the Tournament, Draco,” Harry told his friend before strolling away.

.              .              .               .              .

The papers had flown back out burning about fifteen minutes later, making Harry laugh and dance around in glee at the disappointed faces of his friends. Lee, Fred and George didn’t really take it too hard, as they just chuckled at Harry’s antics and continued what they were doing, but Draco refused to talk to him for the rest of the day, which of _course_ amused Tom who kept calling it a ‘Lover’s Fallout’.

Most of the people were overly excited and tense during the Halloween feast, eagerly waiting for it to be over so the Champions would finally be announced. In fact, only Harry, Tom and Luna seemed to be uncaring. Tom seemed to enjoy talking with Luna surprisingly much, which was great for Harry of course. His two favorite people were getting along.

At long last, the golden plates returned to their original spotless state. There was a sharp upswing in the level of noise within the Hall, which died away almost instantly as Dumbledore got to his feet. On either side of him, Professor Karkaroff and Madame Maxime looked as tense and expectant as anyone. Ludo Bagman was beaming and winking at various students. Mr. Crouch, however, looked quite uninterested, almost bored.

“Well, the goblet is almost ready to make its decision,” Dumbledore announced to the eager crowd.  
“I estimate that it requires one more minute. Now, when the champions’ names are called, I would ask them please to come up to the top of the Hall, walk along the staff table, and go through into the next chamber where they will be receiving their first instructions.”

After that, he dimmed the lights and everyone waited at the tip of their seats. Harry was getting restless. He wanted desperately to ruin the moment, but Draco had grabbed him by the shoulders and was holding a hand over his mouth, probably already guessing what Harry was thinking.

The flames inside the goblet turned suddenly red again. Sparks began to fly from it. Next moment, a tongue of flame shot into the air, a charred piece of parchment fluttered out of it. The whole room gasped, except for Tom, who was reclining lazily and rolled his eyes bored as Dumbledore caught the piece of parchment and held it at arm’s length, so that he could read it by the light of the flames, which had turned back to blue-white.

“The champion for Durmstrang…” he read, in a strong, clear voice.  
“...Will be Viktor Krum.”

Krum smirked as he stood up and slouched over to Dumbledore under loud, thunderous applause. He turned right, walked along the staff table, and disappeared through the door into the next chamber.

The clapping and chatting died down. Now everyone’s attention was focused again on the goblet, which, seconds later, turned red once more. A second piece of parchment shot out of it, propelled by the flames.

“The champion for Beauxbatons… Is Fleur Delacour!”

Harry watched a very beautiful girl with silver blond hair stand up from the Ravenclaw table. She swept her hair back with a brilliant, proud smile and gracefully strode towards the door Krum had already left through. A lot of the other Beauxbatons students looked deeply disappointed, and two girls had even burst into tears… Talk about school unity…

“Part Veela. Has to be,” Tom murmured in Harry’s ear.

“Awesome,” Harry whispered back, grinning.

The Goblet of Fire turned red for a third time. Sparks showered out of it, the tongue of flame shot high into the air and from its tip Dumbledore pulled the third piece of parchment.

“The Hogwarts champion…” he called.  
“…Is Cedric Diggory!”

Every single Hufflepuff had jumped to his or her feet, screaming and stamping, as Cedric made his way past them, grinning broadly, and headed off toward the chamber behind the teachers’ table. Indeed, the applause for Cedric went on so long that it was some time before Dumbledore could make himself heard again. As most people calmed down, Harry jumped up and started screaming Cedric’s name loudly, whistling and clapping with great enthusiasm until Moody cast a silencing charm on him.

“Excellent!” Dumbledore called happily as at last the tumult died down.  
“Well, we now have our three champions. I am sure I can count upon all of you, including the remaining students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, to give your champions every ounce of support you can muster. By cheering your champion on, you will contribute in a very real-”

He stopped talking as the Goblet’s fire suddenly turned red again. Sparks were flying out of it. A long flame shot suddenly into the air, and borne upon it was another piece of parchment. Dumbledore instantly reached out and snatched it from the air. He held it out and stared at the name written upon it. There was a long pause, during which Dumbledore stared at the slip in his hands, and everyone in the room stared at Dumbledore.

“Harry Potter/Quinzel!”

Harry tensed, his grin melting away as he heard his name being called. The entire Slytherin table was staring at him now, most of them looking jealous, but others proud or curious. The other tables all seemed to be heavily confused as they too stared. Tom’s iron gaze was locked onto Harry in a speculative manner. He knew it wasn’t Harry that had done this.

“Harry Potter/Quinzel!” Dumbledore announced again.

“Go on, Harry,” Tom murmured.

Completely numb, Harry stood up slowly. All of his attempts had been rebutted the night before. Besides, he had never entered his name as Potter/Quinzel.

“Good job on bypassing the age line,” Blaise whispered at him.

“I never entered my own name,” the pink haired boy muttered.

Draco, who had been scowling in displeasure earlier looked up at Harry with sharp eyes. Harry frowned as well as he leaned in with his friends.

“Find out who’s setting me up and why,” he growled lowly before turning away.

He gave the teachers a shaky, nervous smile and walked closer, making sure he kept his expression innocent and clueless. For all they knew, Harry was just a victim, and a victim Harry would play until he could get revenge on whoever put in his name without his permission.

Harry moved off along the teachers’ table. Hagrid was seated right at the end. He did not wink at Harry, or wave, or give any of his usual signs of greeting. He looked completely astonished and stared at Harry as he passed like everyone else. Harry went through the door out of the Great Hall and found himself in a smaller room, lined with paintings of witches and wizards.

Viktor Krum, Cedric Diggory, and Fleur Delacour were grouped around the fire and that was where Harry was headed. He oppressed a smirk as he saw the three of them stare confused at him and instead greeted them with wide-eyed horror. It was obvious it was working, since Cedric stepped forward, his lips pressed in a thin line in horror while Fleur Delacour’s frown deepened in confusion.

“What is it?” she asked.  
“Do zey want us back in ze Hall?”

“I bet they’d rather have me back in ‘ze Hall’ than here,” Harry replied, making sure his voice shook a bit.

Of course, this only caused the three Champions more confusion, which was exactly what Harry had been aiming for. There was a sound of scurrying feet behind him, and Ludo Bagman entered the room. He took Harry by the arm and led him forward.

“Extraordinary!” he muttered, squeezing Harry’s arm.  
“Absolutely extraordinary! Gentlemen… lady. May I introduce — incredible though it may seem — the _fourth_ Triwizard champion?”

Viktor Krum straightened up. His face darkened as he sized Harry up. Cedric looked nonplussed. He looked from Bagman to Harry and back again as though sure he must have misheard what Bagman had said. Fleur Delacour, however, tossed her hair, smiling.

“Oh, vairy funny joke, Meester Bagman.”

“Joke?” Bagman repeated, bewildered.  
“No, no, not at all! Harry’s name just came out of the Goblet of Fire!”

Krum’s thick eyebrows contracted slightly. Cedric was still looking politely bewildered. Fleur frowned.

“But evidently zair ’as been a mistake,” she said contemptuously to Bagman.  
“’E cannot compete. ’E is too young.”

The door behind them opened again, and a large group of people came in. Professor Dumbledore, followed closely by Mr. Crouch, Professor Karkaroff, Madame Maxime, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Snape. Harry heard the buzzing of the hundreds of students on the other side of the wall, before Professor McGonagall closed the door.

“Madame Maxime!” said Fleur at once, striding over to her headmistress.  
“Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also!”

“Excuse me?!” Harry shouted shrilly.  
“I’m fourteen fucking years old and more experienced with Dark wizards than you!”

Krum and Diggory were looking awkwardly at Harry and Fleur, who were glaring hatefully at each other.

 “What is ze meaning of zis, Dumbly-dorr?” Madam Maxime asked imperiously, ignoring the teens.

“I’d rather like to know that myself, Dumbledore,” Professor Karkaroff said, smiling coldly.  
“Two Hogwarts champions? I don’t remember anyone telling me the host school is allowed two champions, or have I not read the rules carefully enough?”

“C’est impossible,” Madame Maxime exclaimed, resting her enormous hand on Fleur’s shoulder.  
“’Ogwarts cannot ’ave two champions. It is most injust.”

“We were under the impression that your Age Line would keep out younger contestants, Dumbledore,” Karkaroff said bitterly.  
“Otherwise, we would, of course, have brought along a wider selection of candidates from our own schools.”

“It’s no one’s fault but Quinzel’s, Karkaroff,” said Snape softly, glaring maliciously at Harry.  
“Don’t go blaming Dumbledore for Potter’s determination to break rules. He has been crossing lines ever since he arrived here-”

“I’m the sweetest, kindest and most honest student you’ve got!” Harry shouted, cutting Snape off mid-sentence.  
“Also, I’ll participate as a fourth school, to keep it fair, of course. Then again, most other students would tell you they wished Slytherin wasn’t even _part_ of Hogwarts anyway…”

Dumbledore sighed and looked down at the little paper in his hands.

“The school Harry was entered under was Ilvermorny,” he said softly.

Harry gave a bark of laughter at that. He did live in America, so it would have been more logical for him to indeed go to Ilvermorny. Professor Dumbledore was now looking down at Harry, who looked right back at him, trying to discern the expression of the eyes behind the half-moon spectacles.

“Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” he asked calmly.

“No,” Harry replied.

Snape made a soft noise of impatient disbelief in the shadows.

“Did you ask an older student to put it into the Goblet of Fire for you?” Professor Dumbledore asked, ignoring Snape.

Well there was something Harry _hadn’t_ thought of when he tried to get in… Then again, maybe one of them did, which was something he’d have to look into.

“No,” he sighed sadly.

 


	72. Rita Skeeter

"So no one entered my name for Ilvermorny?" Harry asked again.

Five of the six older students who had admitted to entering Harry's name nodded, their faces pale and expressions terrified. Four of them had used the name Hadrian Quinzel, one Harry Quinn and one had entered him as Harry Potter. All of them had written down Hogwarts as his school though. They'd done so in the hopes of getting in Harry's favor, but instead, they were now kneeling at his feet, shivering after Harry had broken into their minds using Legilimency. The sixth student that had entered his name was lying on the floor, glassy eyed. Unlike the others, he hadn't done it for Harry's favor, but to get him hurt and for that reason, his consciousness was still locked away in Arkham Asylum, tormented by all seven of Harry's alter egos.

The Slytherin dorms were quiet as they all sat together, plotting. Harry and Tom sat in the middle of the crowd, both their expressions thoughtful and serious, which caused both Slytherin and Durmstrang students to feel chills of terror. Thomas Napier was as feared by his classmates as Tom Riddle had been back in his own day.

"Viktor," Tom spoke up calmly.  
"Keep an eye on Professor Karkaroff. He might be the reason Quinzel is forced to compete."

"Vhy vould the Headmaster vant more competition?" Krum asked confused.

"Didn't you say Alastor Moody suspected someone entered Quinzel to kill him?" Tom asked.  
"You and I both know Karkaroff was once a Death Eater… and who do we know wants Harry Potter dead?"

Krum and several other Durmstrang students paled, as did some of the Slytherins. Draco, however, smirked.

"I'd like to see them try kill our _Slytherin King_ ," he said gleefully, looking straight at Tom.

Tom narrowed his eyes at Draco and gave him a thin-lipped smile.

"We all want to see all of our contenders make it out alive," he said.  
"I'll still side with my schoolmates and Viktor in the Tournament of course. Don't mistake my willingness to help with favoring Hogwarts."

"Don't you love me?" Harry whimpered, making some Slytherins chuckle amused.

"You interest me, isn't that enough?" Tom replied smirking.

. . . . .

_[The least you can do is win.]_

Harry chuckled softly at his dad's words. He'd let him know what happened almost as soon as he was done talking with the Slytherin and Durmstrang students. He clicked his ballpoint pen a few times, as he always did when he was thinking of a reply. Before he could think of an answer, the door opened and Dumbledore walked in.

"Harry?" the man asked surprised.  
"How did you get into my office?"

"I stood in front of it for fifteen minutes naming all the types of candy I knew," Harry replied blankly.

The man chuckled softly and sat down on the transfigured couch Harry had switched the large desk for.

"Very well. What can I do for you?" Dumbledore asked smiling.

"It's more about what _I_ can do for _you_ , Albus – may I call you Albus?"

"In a private setting like this, I don't see why not," Dumbledore replied pleasantly.

Harry smiled and picked up his briefcase, pulling out a set of square glasses and a set of flashcards. After putting the glasses on his nose, Harry cleared his throat and sat up a bit straighter, he gave Dumbledore a piercing, contemplative look.

"I have been made aware of some… worries pertaining your mental health," he said carefully.

This had Dumbledore scowl confused and his eyes slid over to the flashcards in Harry's hands. The pink haired teen grinned and held the first one up. It was an ink picture of Voldemort, looking very evil with his wand in hand and casting some kind of spell.

"Please tell me what you see in this," Harry said calmly.

"I see a very creative picture of Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore replied smiling.

Harry scowled and looked back to the card himself, looking very confused. This had Dumbledore scowl as well and he looked over to Harry with an innocent, almost childlike expression.

"Was I not supposed to answer that?" he asked gently.

"Oh, no! Just answer honestly!" Harry replied quickly, grinning at him.  
"I'm going to show you another picture and I want you to tell me honestly what you see in it."

It was another picture of Voldemort, this time a close up from his snake-like face.

"Voldemort again, it seems," Dumbledore said pleasantly.  
"Did you make these yourself. That's rather artistic of you."

"These are real, psychologist's flashcards," Harry replied haughtily.  
"I should know. I stole them from my therapist personally."

Dumbledore's eyes widened in shock and he opened his mouth to scold Harry, but the pink haired teen already held up a third card, which made Dumbledore chuckle in amusement.

"That's a young Tom Riddle picking his nose," he said.

Harry laughed and put the card down with the ones he'd already shown to hold up the next one. This one had Dumbledore blink in surprise and he stared for a few moments, looking very taken aback.

"That-that's Gellert Grindelwald," he said softly.

"Oh? Very curious," Harry said, looking just as surprised at his Headmaster.  
"Fascinating indeed… We'll talk more about that later. First I want to show you the next card."

Dumbledore nodded in agreement as Harry held up the next one. The man laughed at this one, making Harry smile amused as well. These next two were his favorite.

"That's Voldemort in a bikini in a very sexy pose," Dumbledore said chuckling.

Harry hummed and pulled out the last one, which made Dumbledore blush.

"Gellert… Posing stark naked…" he said.

Harry's eyes widened comically and he put all the cards down. He took a deep breath and stared at Dumbledore for a moment, who just stared back with a kind smile and that annoying twinkle in his eyes.

"Albus… I am afraid you are obsessed…" Harry said sighing.  
"It's pretty obvious you are obsessed by Dark Lords… but it's the last two that worry me the most."

He tapped his nails against the map of cards and looked at Dumbledore with a thoughtful frown.

"Albus… are you perhaps sexually attracted to Dark Lords?" he asked carefully.

The man looked dumbstruck for a moment before he started laughing.

"Only blonde ones," he replied jokingly.

Harry chuckled and pulled a clipboard out before taking his pen from behind his ear.

"In that case, we'll have to dig deeper into your psyche to figure out why you imagined a sexy Voldemort," he said professionally.

This had Dumbledore sigh and lay down on his back in the couch, his hands folded on his chest.

"Well, Doctor… I fear I have been sleeping terribly the past few weeks," he admitted sadly.

"Ah. Sleep deprivation can cause very strange visions," Harry said, nodding his head in understanding.  
"Now… Let's dive deep into your subconscious and find out the reasons you sleep so bad, shall we?"

. . . . .

Harry found Tom in the far back of the library, reading one of the modern history books. Harry smirked and he skipped over, sitting down across from the older teen. Tom's now blue eyes slid up to meet his and he swept a strand of blond hair out of his face.

"I just came back from visiting Dumbledore," he said as a manner of greeting.  
"Had a nice, long talk with him and I've got some great news for you!"

Tom raised a brow, but didn't grace Harry with his full attention like the pink haired teen had hoped. Instead, he refocused back on his book, making Harry scowl.

"Is that so?" Tom asked lazily.

"Absolutely!" Harry said cheerfully.  
"Turns out, you're _totally_ his type!"

The book clattered loudly on the ground.

" _Don't even joke like that!"_

. . . . .

Harry was in the middle of a double potions with Gryffindor, most of whom were sneering insults at him under their breaths for having cheated himself into the Tournament. It was one of the rare occasion that Snape actually stuck up for him by taking away points from any Gryffindor he caught saying anything wrong about him. It was pretty obvious that he was only doing it to be able to take away points, not for any affection or sense of duty towards Harry.

There was a knock on the dungeon door and Colin Creevey edged into the room. He beamed at Harry and walked up to Snape's desk at the front of the room.

"Yes?" Snape asked curtly.

"Please, sir, I'm supposed to take Harry P- Quinzel upstairs."

Snape glared down at the third year Gryffindor boy, whose smile faded from his eager face.

"Quinzel has another hour of Potions to complete," he said coldly.  
"He will come upstairs when this class is finished."

Colin flushed bright pink.

"Sir, Mr. Bagman wants him," he said nervously.  
"All the champions have got to go, I think they want to take photographs…"

"Very well, very well," Snape snapped.  
"Quinzel, leave your things here, I want you back down here later to test your antidote."

"Please, sir… he's got to take his things with him," Colin squeaked.  
"All the champions-"

"Very well!" Snape hissed annoyed.  
"Quinzel! Take your bag and get out of my sight!"

Harry jumped up and gave his teacher a giggling salutation.

"Don't worry! I'll bring back a signed copy for you!" he said.

He laughed loudly at the murderous expression of the Potions Master and he skipped out of the room, following Colin through the corridors and up several sets of stairs.

"Good luck!" Colin said cheerfully when they had reached the right room.

He found himself in a fairly small classroom with most of the desks pushed away to the back of the room. Ludo Bagman was talking to a witch Harry had never seen before, who was wearing magenta robes while Viktor Krum was standing moodily in a corner as usual and not talking to anybody. Cedric and Fleur were in conversation. Bagman suddenly spotted Harry, got up quickly, and bounded forward.

"Ah, here he is! Champion number four! In you come, Harry, in you come! Nothing to worry about, it's just the wand weighing ceremony, the rest of the judges will be here in a moment."

Harry nodded in understanding. Tom had loved showing off his knowledge about the Triwizard Tournament the night before and he'd taken his time to tell everyone in the Slytherin Common Room, both Hogwarts and Durmstrang students, all about the usual Triwizard ceremonies.

"This is Rita Skeeter," the man said, gesturing toward the witch in magenta robes.  
"She's doing a small piece on the tournament for the Daily Prophet."

"Maybe not that small, Ludo," Rita Skeeter replied, her eyes on Harry.

Harry grinned and stepped forward, eagerly thrusting his hand at the woman.

"Miss Rita Skeeter! I'm a big fan!" he said happily.  
"I especially loved your last cover of the World Cup! It's the first time I was in the papers…"

He looked away and blushed cutely, making the woman smile and the two foreign Champions scowl.

"You're adorable," the woman said smiling before she turned back to look at Bagman.  
"I wonder if I could have a little word with Harry before we start? The youngest champion, you know…to add a bit of color?"

"Certainly!" Bagman exclaimed.  
"That is if Harry has no objection?"

"Not at all! I'm very colorful!" Harry said eagerly.  
"As long as Miss Skeeter gives me her autograph after!"

The reported smirked and ruffled his hair before leading him back out of the room. She opened the first door they came across and pushed Harry inside. A fucking broom closet. Great.

"Um… Miss Skeeter…" he mumbled blushing.

The woman smirked lecherously and sat down, pulling out a roll of parchment and a self-writing quill from her bag. Once they were set up, she looked back over to Harry with a bright smile.

"So, Harry… what made you decide to enter the Triwizard Tournament?" she asked.

"Like I need extra opportunities to get myself killed!" Harry exclaimed wide-eyed.  
"I'm the victim here, Miss Skeeter! I'm terrified! What if someone wants me dead? That's what Professor Moody says someone entered me for…"

Rita Skeeter raised one heavily penciled eyebrow.

"Come now, Harry, there's no need to be scared of getting into trouble. We all know you shouldn't really have entered at all. But don't worry about that. Our readers love a rebel."

"I can be a rebel easily, but I'm not gonna lie!" Harry said offended.  
"I've had enough of things and people threatening my life! Last year, it was a mass murderer. The year before that, it was the Heir of Slytherin with his giant Basilisk, where none of the teachers even _tried_ to find the Chamber and save poor Ginny Weasley. And then there's first year! Dumbledore left protecting the Sorcerer's Stone to me and two of my friends! It was horrible!"

He took a deep breath, glancing secretively towards the quill that was scribbling hurriedly onto the parchment.

"I just wanted one normal year…" he mumbled heartbroken.  
"Y-you believe me, right miss Skeeter? You're the greatest reporter in the world! You can see I'm telling the truth, right?"

"Don't worry, Love. I always uncover the truth," the woman said grinning.  
"Now have you got any idea who could have entered your name? Why would anyone want you dead?"

Harry could think of a lot of reasons and a lot of people too, Voldemort being on the top of that list.

"Dunno. I haven't made any enemies I think. I mean… I play a lot of pranks on people, but that's no reason, is it?" he replied shrugging.  
"Mostly on professor Snape, but he deserves it! He's really mean to students and I'm pretty sure he hates me… You-you won't put that in the paper, right? I don't want him angry at me…"

"Don't worry, sweetheart. This is all between just the two of us," the woman said, winking.

Harry smiled brightly.

"Thank you, miss Skeeter!" Harry said cheerfully.  
"I wish I was ten years older…"

"Well aren't you just the cutest!" Rita Skeeter laughed.

. . . . .

The weighing of the wands was done by Ollivander, who was very excited to see Harry's and Cedric's wands again and in perfect condition. Fleur's wand had a Veela hair in it, which the girl proudly announced was her grandmother's.

After that, there were a few group pictures made, as well as several individual ones on Skeeter's insistence. Harry acted bashful and shy as it was his turn. Afterwards, he went up to the female reporter and nervously asked her to sign his copy of the Daily Prophet next to one of her own more outrageous articles. The woman was clearly letting Harry's 'fangirling' to her head, as she pressed her heavily lipsticked lips on the paper as well before handing it back to him with a wink.

Once all was done, Dumbledore send them back to their classes, but Harry instead decided to wander around and try to figure out some other great pranks. Maybe he could sabotage his competition. His dad had told him to win after all…

"Viktor!"

Harry quickly hid away as Krum and Fleur walked past him. The beautiful French girl caught up to the burly Bulgarian and threw her silvery blond hair behind her shoulder as she smiled blindingly at him.

"I was wondering if you could introduce me to your friend…" the girl said hopeful.  
"I forgot 'is name… Napiér? The 'andsome one that reads a lot."

"Thomas," Krum said.  
"I guess it von't hurt to introduce you."

Harry smirked as he stepped out of his hiding once the other two Champions had rounded the corner. He was so going to tease Tom with this. Two possible suitors. The French Veela bitch and Dumbledore.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of the flash cards was another one of Nobody's which I really liked. So thank you!
> 
> I also want to encourage anyone who has some creative ideas to send them over, especially for possible pranks Harry can pull. The worst that can happen is that I don't use them, but most of the time, that's only because it won't fit with the storyline I have in mind.


	73. Dragons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Tom/Harry, Exhibitionism, Sadism, Masochism
> 
> The smut starts right after the article, but it isn’t very long and I will put a warning at the end so you can skip it at your own leisure.

 

**_TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT TRAGEDY: THE TALE OF HARRY POTTER/QUINZEL_ **

_Dear Readers. Thanks to the current Triwizard Tournament Hosted this year at Hogwarts, I was able to interview the youngest surprise Champion, Harry Potter/Quinzel._

_At our first meeting, the fourteen year-old was shy and polite. He was enthusiastic when coming face to face with me and adorably eager to talk with me. We talked mostly about his involvement with the Tournament and he told me with terrified tears in his eyes how he hadn’t entered himself. Why someone would do this to the poor boy, I have yet to find out, but I do know that Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody, who was somehow hired as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, already poisoned young Harry’s mind by telling him someone wants him dead._

_I also talked to him about his family and he told me how he had a very loving father, a kind and understanding mother and a younger sister in America. He confessed that his family was even more scared of his unwilling involvement in this dangerous game between schools. Why Albus Dumbledore has yet to do something about the situation is a mystery to me as much as to you!_

_Talking more on the subjects of teachers, Harry told me of a certain Potions Master bullying other students. Severus Snape, the Head of Slytherin, where Harry had been surprisingly Sorted (his adoptive father was supposedly a Slytherin as well) enjoys insulting his students and give unwarranted detention. I spoke to many other students about Professor Snape’s misbehavior and found that his favorite victims are two Gryffindor students with the names of Neville Lowbottom, who is constantly being called incompetent and called other names by his teacher. Hermione Granger, a muggleborn girl, top of her class and a supposed friend of young Harry, is often being silenced. Her grades are purposefully lowered for_ ‘showing off’.

_Other muggleborn Gryffindor students, like the Crevley brothers and Natasha McDonald are often bullied as well. It’s also been brought to my attention that, whenever Professor Snape catches one of the Slytherin students bullying other students, he will not act on it and instead blame the victim for being too stupid, annoying or just plain deserving._

_Worst of all, his third victim is Harry Potter/Quinzel himself. While he is a Slytherin and as such under the care of Severus Snape, he is treated unfairly in comparison with the other Slytherin students, which is rather surprising, as Harry is the most popular child in his House. Everyone has told me how he is a wonderful person and a delight to be around. The entire Slytherin House supports him and his claim that he has not entered himself. Many are even willing to exact revenge on whoever framed their peer._

_I, for one, am cheering you on, Harry!_

_Other participants of the Triwizard Tournament are Fleur De la Court, from the French school Beauxbatons, Victor Krumble, from Durmstrang and  Cedric Dingy as the second Hogwarts Champion._

_More on the relationship between Harry and Hermione Granger on page 2_  
_More on Harry’s family life on page 6 & 7_  
 _More on Harry’s friendships in Slytherin House on page 9_

*****Sex Scene*****

Harry moaned loudly as Tom drove into him harshly from behind. He was on all fours, Tom behind him, keeping a powerful hold on his hip with one hand and grasping Harry’s hair with the other, pulling on it with every thrust.

He barely looked up when he heard the door open, all that was important was that Tom didn’t stop fucking him. His hair was pulled harder, making him groan in pleasure, and he heard a gasp from whoever had entered the room.

“I’m sorry!” a male, heavily accented voice called.

Harry thought recognized the voice, but he couldn’t care to try and place it. Not when Tom’s cock brushed against his prostate. What he did recognize though, was Tom’s mocking laughter.

“Don’t worry. He loves having an audience,” Tom said.

Harry moaned loudly again as Tom pulled his head up by his hair, forcing Harry to look at the intruder. Harry grinned at Krum, knowing full well he looked like a hot mess but not giving a shit right now. Krum looked uncomfortable, but the growing tent in his tight pants made Harry lick his lips excitedly.

“See? He loves being the center of attention,” Tom chuckled.  
“You’re a big slut, aren’t you, Harry? You’d fuck anyone for some attention.”

“Nah. I have standards, and you’re pretty much as low as I go,” Harry replied breathless.

In retaliation, Tom pulled Harry’s hair hard and gave a harsh thrust, making Harry scream out and close his eyes. His mouth was open the entire time as Tom kept fucking him.

“I think you are hurting him…” Krum said doubtfully.

Tom ground his pelvis against Harry’s ass painfully and leaned over the younger teen’s sweaty back.

“Perfect!” he hissed in Harry’s ear.

*****End Sex Scene*****

.              .              .               .              .

Harry sat next to a very uncomfortable Krum as the two of them watched Tom and Fleur flirt shamelessly in the middle of the Slytherin common room. Every time Fleur giggled and flipped her hair, Krum looked at Harry from the side, as if he was worried Harry would get upset.

“Looks like Fleur really likes my cousin, huh,” he said jokingly, enjoying the widening of Krum’s eyes.

“You and Thomas are family?” Krum asked incredulous.

“I’m adopted, so we’re not actually related,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“And he’s a good fuck. I bet a lot of people at Durmstrang can agree, am I right?”

Harry elbowed the tall, burly teen and winked, making Krum blush.

“I’d ask if you fucked him, but you’re not his type,” Harry mumbled as he refocused on Tom, who was whispering something in Fleur’s ear that made her blush.

“Vhat is your type?” Krum asked curiously.

This had Harry chuckle and he turned around in his seat so he could straddle the Bulgarian Champion’s lap and wrap his arms around Krum’s shoulders.

“Anything with a pulse,” he purred seductively.  
“If I can fuck it, I want it… Can I fuck you, Viktor?”

The older teen blushed brightly and peeked over to Tom with the same worried expression he had cast at Harry before. The pink haired 4th Champion sighed annoyed and tipped Krum’s chin up to make him look up at him.

“Tom doesn’t care who I fuck, and I don’t care who he fucks,” he said firmly.  
“I’m not his possession just because I like his dick… I want to taste yours too.”

He molded his lips on Krum’s, making the older teen groan softly in pleasure and try to deepen the kiss. This made Harry laugh and he pulled back, standing back up before he pulled Krum up as well.

“I’ve got a private room,” he said grinning.

He paused for a moment as he saw Malinda lounging on one of the armchairs. As they passed, the snake lifted her head and blinked at the two of them.

 ** _*What are you doing, Hatchling?*_** the snake asked curiously.

**_*I’m going to mate. Want to join us and look?*_ **

**_*Depends… will Tiny Master mate the not-human?*_ **

Harry chuckled at that and shrugged.

 ** _*No idea. Stay here and find out, if you want,*_** he said amused.

**_*I’ll come with Hatchling. It’s better than being bored.*_ **

Harry nodded in understanding and walked further towards his room, now not only with Krum following, but also with Malinda wrapped around his waist, staring at their guest with unblinking poisonous green eyes. Krum seemed nervous as he stared back.

“Vhy is the snake joining?” he asked.

He didn’t seem surprised that Harry was a Parselmouth. He guessed the talent was still a respectable one in Eastern Europe. It was a rare ability there too, but less so than it was in Britain. It was rumored that there were a few dozen people in Greece who could speak it, all descendants of Herpo the Foul, or so they said.

“Malinda’s a voyeur. She likes to watch,” Harry replied.

He looked around and grinned teasingly.

“Don’t worry, she won’t join in,” he joked.

Actually… it would be kind of interesting if she did join in… Harry kind of wondered what it would be like to have sex with a snake. He kind of wondered what it would be like to have sex with Fluffy too, but he wasn’t stupid enough to try fuck a dog with an elephant dick. If he didn’t die of internal bleeding halfway through, he’d probably pop apart when the knot formed…

.              .              .               .              .

“Harry!” Fred and George called out as Harry was walking towards his next class.

“Hello, gentlemen,” Harry greeted brightly as they caught up with him.

Both redheaded brothers threw an arm over Harry’s shoulders and pressed their faces against his cheeks.

“You haven’t visited us in a while,” Fred muttered against his ear.

“The handsome Durmstrang guy too good to bother with us?” George asked.

Harry laughed and pulled their arms off of him before turning around and leaning closer to the both of them again.

“Jealous?” he asked teasingly.  
“I’m a busy guy, with the whole Tournament and all…”

“Speaking of, we’ve got someone you’d want to meet!” Fred said eagerly before his twin took over again.

“Not right now though. Midnight, at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, behind Hagrid’s shack.”

Harry scowled in confusion, but still nodded without asking any questions. He’d find out soon enough.

.              .              .               .              .

It was close to midnight as Harry walked across the fields towards where he had agreed to meet up with the Twins. He was sort of curious who they wanted to meet so badly that it had to be in the middle of the night. Maybe it was just a ruse for a midnight fuck in the woods, which would be alright to Harry of course. They wouldn’t have to trick him for that though, and they knew it too.

“Harry!” one of the twins called out in a shout-whisper.

Harry grinned and waved at the duo where they were standing behind Hagrid’s hut before approaching. It was too dark to see any difference between the two, which was already hard enough during the day time as it was. Not that Harry particularly cared. He liked them both equally.

“Alright, so where’s this person you guys wanted me to meet?” he asked.

“In the forest,” the one on the left said grinning.

“Just follow us, you won’t regret it,” the other said.

Harry shrugged and joined the two as they led him into the Forbidden Forest. They walked for a long time in near complete silence. The Twins were too excited to talk at the moment, which was definitely a first. Harry mostly just took the time to think everything over. He had to figure out ways to undermine his rival contestants. Maybe he could get them killed or something.

Four fully grown, enormous, vicious-looking dragons were rearing onto their hind legs inside an enclosure fenced with thick planks of wood, roaring and snorting — torrents of fire were shooting into the dark sky from their open, fanged mouths, fifty feet above the ground on their outstretched necks. There was a silvery-blue one with long, pointed horns, snapping and snarling at the wizards on the ground, a smooth-scaled green one, which was writhing and stamping with all its might, a red one with an odd fringe of fine gold spikes around its face, which was shooting mushroom-shaped fire clouds into the air and a gigantic black one, more lizard-like than the others, which was nearest to them.

At least thirty wizards, seven or eight to each dragon, were attempting to control them, pulling on the chains connected to heavy leather straps around their necks and legs. Mesmerized, Harry looked up, high above him, and saw the eyes of the black dragon, with vertical pupils like a cat’s, bulging with either fear or rage, he couldn’t tell which. It was making a horrible noise, a yowling, screeching scream.

“They’re beautiful,” he whispered.

“Fred! George!” a young man with equally red hair but broader shoulders called as he jogged towards them.  
“I thought I told you _not_ to tell anyone! They’re not supposed to know this, especially not the Champions!”

“C’mon! I can make it worth your while~” Harry purred, batting his eyes at the older male.

Charlie Weasley cocked his head and raised a brow with an amused grin playing on his face.

“The Twins told me you might offer that,” he said chuckling.  
“No offence, but I’m not interested. I don’t do minors.”

Harry pouted and shrugged.

“At least I got to see dragons…” he mumbled.  
“So what are we supposed to do with them? Fight them?”

“Just get past them, I think,” Charlie replied shrugging.  
“We’ll be on hand if it gets nasty, Extinguishing Spells at the ready. They wanted nesting mothers, I don’t know why… but I tell you this, I don’t envy the one who gets the Horntail. Vicious thing. Its back end’s as dangerous as its front, look.”

Charlie pointed toward the Horntail’s tail, and Harry saw long, bronze-colored spikes protruding along it every few inches.

“Knowing your luck, that’ll be yours, Harry,” Fred muttered awed.

“Knowing my luck, I’ll even make it out without a scratch!” Harry laughed.

.              .              .               .              .

On their way back to the castle, they had to duck away from Hagrid and Madam Maxime and later for Karkaroff. Harry said goodbye to the Twins back inside the castle, letting both of them kiss him deeply as they set towards the Gryffindor Tower. As Harry casually strolled back to the dungeons, Tom threw his Cloak off and smirked.

“Mother dragons are especially violent,” the older teen said grinning.  
“And it looks like you don’t have the advantage of knowing either, considering both Madam Maxime and Professor Karkaroff know too.”

“Maybe I can see Cedric burn to a crisp,” Harry replied with a laugh.

“And afterward fuck Charlie Weasley?” Tom asked in a purr.  
“Or will you be a good boy and wait until you’re seventeen?”

“You think I can get him to fuck me sooner?” Harry asked eagerly.

Tom laughed amused and grabbed Harry’s waist to pull him closer and nuzzle his cheek.

“You’re addicted. How was your night with Viktor?” he asked chuckling.

“He’s boring. I’m not doing him anymore,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“You’re still my favorite fuck, don’t worry, Tommy!”

“What a relief,” Tom drawled sarcastically.

Harry cackled happily and danced away, uncaring that Filch might hear him.

“Harry? Is that you?”

The two teens tensed at the familiar little girl voice and watched as Ginny came floating down the corridor. She was smiling towards Harry, but as she noticed Tom behind him, her eyes widened.

“Oh… Am I interrupting?” she asked shyly.

“Not at all!” Harry replied, jumping right in front of the ghost with a bright smile on his face.  
“I was actually looking for you! This is Thomas Napier, he’s a Durmstrang student who’s related to my adoptive father. I wanted to introduce him to you.”

The girl smiled at him and glided over to Tom, smiling happily.

“Hi!” she greeted cheerfully.

“Hello, Miss Weasley. Such a pleasure to meet you,” Tom greeted back.  
“Harry has told me a lot about you and your horrible tragedy.”

The girl blushed and looked back at Harry with a tiny, shy smile.

“You talk about me?” she asked quietly.

“Barely talks about anything else!” Tom chuckled teasingly.  
“Between you and me, I think he has a crush on you…”

“T-Tom!” Harry exclaimed, blushing brightly in embarrassment.

 


	74. The First Task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went to see Fantastic Beasts today!!! :D  
> Great movie. I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

“Four nesting dragons?!” Sirius asked horrified.

Harry nodded as his Godfather looked at him, eyes full of concern, eyes that had not yet lost the deadened, haunted look that Azkaban had given them. They’d just gotten back from a very successful robbery in Gotham Centrum along with his parents.

“The kid can handle a dragon,” Joker scoffed.  
“I’m more worried about who and why he was entered.”

Sirius nodded in agreement.

“Speaking of, I wanted to warn you,” he told Harry.  
“There are a few people there you can’t trust. Like Karkaroff.”

“He was a Death Eater,” Harry nodded.  
“Tom told me about that already.”

“But that’s not all,” Sirius told him frowning.  
“He was caught, he was in Azkaban with me, but he got released. I’d bet everything that’s why Dumbledore wanted an Auror at Hogwarts this year, to keep an eye on him. Moody caught Karkaroff. Put him into Azkaban in the first place.”

That was new information to Harry and the currently green haired teen’s eyes widened in surprise.

“That explains why they always glare at each other,” he muttered.  
“They seemed to hate each other more than Snape hated Lupin.”

Sirius snorted amused at that and nodded in agreement.

“So why did they release him?” Harley asked curiously.

“He did a deal with the Ministry of Magic,” Sirius said bitterly.  
“He said he’d seen the error of his ways, and then he named names. He put a load of other people into Azkaban in his place. He’s not very popular in there, I can tell you. And since he got out, from what I can tell, he’s been teaching the Dark Arts to every student who passes through that school of his. So watch out for the Durmstrang champion as well.”

“Krum is one of Tom’s,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“He’ll try to win, but he won’t do anything to me.”

“Good boy Tommy!” Joker cackled.

Harry smirked and looked back over to Sirius.

“So  are you saying Karkaroff put my name in the goblet? Because if he did, he’s a really good actor. He seemed furious about it. He wanted to stop me from competing.”

“We know he’s a good actor, because he convinced the Ministry of Magic to set him free, didn’t he?” Sirius countered.  
“Now, I’ve been keeping an eye on the Daily Prophet, Harry, and reading that Skeeter woman’s article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started at Hogwarts. I think someone tried to stop him from getting to Hogwarts. I think someone knew their job would be a lot more difficult with him around. And no one’s going to look into it too closely. Mad-Eye’s heard intruders a bit too often. But that doesn’t mean he can’t still spot the real thing. Moody was the best Auror the Ministry ever had.”

“Alright, so Karkaroff’s trying to kill me and didn’t want Moody to come to school,” Harry muttered.

“Only, I know my brother better than Sirius,” Joker drawled in a bored tone.  
“Igor Karkaroff betrayed him. He wouldn’t give him the chance to make up for that.”

Sirius scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.

“The Death Eaters seem to be a bit more active than usual lately,” he said.  
“They showed themselves at the Quidditch World Cup, didn’t they? Someone set off the Dark Mark… and then — did you hear about that Ministry of Magic witch who’s gone missing?”

“Bertha Jorkins?” Harry asked surprised, remembering her name from the Daily Prophet.

“Exactly. She disappeared in Albania, and that’s definitely where Voldemort was rumored to be last and she would have known the Triwizard Tournament was coming up, wouldn’t she?”

“Yeah, but… it’s not likely she’d have walked straight into uncle Voldy, right?” Harry asked.

“Listen, I knew Bertha Jorkins,” Sirius replied grimly.  
“She was at Hogwarts when I was, a few years above your dad and me. And she was an idiot. Very nosy, but no brains, none at all. It’s not a good combination, Harry. She’d be very easy to lure into a trap.”

“My brother’s definitely behind all this,” Joker agreed.  
“I just don’t believe it’s Karkaroff he’s using for it. Too obvious, and he’s clearly untrustworthy.”

“There’s also still Barty Crouch,” Sirius remembered.  
“His son was one of the ones Karkaroff named and he send him to Azkaban himself. The kid died a while ago still in prison.”

“Heartless,” Harley hissed disgusted.

“Aren’t all politicians?” Joker cackled.

.              .              .               .              .

Once he was back at Hogwarts, Harry called Draco and Tom to his private room to talk about what he had heard from his dad and Sirius. They both listened calmly to every word until Harry asked their input.

“What did your dad say about the dragons?” Draco asked.

“He said: ‘One fucking dragon shouldn’t be any problem for you. If the damn thing can kill you, nesting or not, you better damn well stay dead because you won’t be coming into _my_ house again!’” Harry replied.  
“And then my mom shot him in the leg…”

Tom snorted amused while Draco scowled.

“We’ll need to consider your talents to figure out the best way to beat this,” Tom said calmly.

“Flying, fucking and potions,” Harry replied easily.  
“But I guess I’m also pretty good at levitation charms and Dark Arts…”

“You can’t fuck your way past the bloody dragon,” Draco muttered crossly.  
“And flying and potions is out too, since you can only bring your wand.”

“Yes, but I’m not so shabby with summoning charms either,” Harry countered grinning.

“The rules never said anything about not allowing people to summon things to them,” Tom agreed.

Harry chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“Maybe you could brew a Draught of the Living Death before hand and find a way to administer large quantities to the dragon?” Tom offered.

“Not my favorite, but it’s an option,” Harry chuckled.

Draco was still scowling as he watched Harry and Tom.

“Why are you helping Quinn instead of Krum?” the blond eventually asked.

“Because Harry is my dearest cousin,” Tom replied smoothly.

“HAH! Pull the other one, Tommy-boy!” Harry snorted.

“Don’t call me that,” Tom growled warningly.

.              .              .               .              .

Eventually, the day of the First Task had arrived and with it Harry’s family. His dad was disguised once again as Jack Napier with his dark brown trench coat and fedora. Harley was dressed in a tight red top that almost had her boobs popping out and low waist black yeans that showed off a dark red whale tail. A lot of the other guests were staring at her for the overly revealing outfit… Or for the fact that she had two hyenas on a leash with her.

Hayley was with them too, dressed in a bright pink tutu and a Slytherin scarf wrapped around her neck. She was holding a banner saying ‘Harry Quinn is gonna win!’. She was actually riding Padfoot while the dog Animagus stayed very close to Poison Ivy who had somehow gotten her skin back to pink instead of green and wore a green skirt and black blouse that looked a little too professional for Harry’s taste.

The only one that wasn’t there from Harry’s little family was Fluffy, then again, he wouldn’t have fit in the Great Hall anyway, where Harry was casually eating lunch together with his family.

“Took him to Blüdhaven. They’ve got an animal care Centre in the wizarding district… They hadn’t expected a Cerberus, but they couldn’t refuse us,” Joker explained grinning.

Harry laughed amused at that and Hayley giggled with him, even though she probably didn’t have any idea what it was about. They fell silent as Professor McGonagall approached them, looking very nervous.

“Quinzel, the champions have to come down onto the grounds now… You have to get ready for your first task.”

“Okay,” Harry replied, standing up.

“Good luck, baby!,” his mom said loudly, pulling him down for a smacking wet kiss on his cheek.  
“You’ll be fine, hun, I know it already! No one can beat my sweet baby when it’s somethin’ like this!”

“Of course I’ll be fine! I’m a fucking Quinzel-Napier!” Harry laughed.

“That’s my boy!” Joker cackled.

By this point, the whole Hall was staring at the odd family. Maybe it was the fact that neither of Harry’s parents seemed worried, or that Harley had her hair tips dyed red and blue and little Hayley had hers dyed just as eye-watering pink as Harry’s. Or maybe it was because Harry’s parents and sister had skipped lunch too and gone right for the desserts… Or because Sirius and the hyenas were sitting in chairs with the rest of the family…

Harry left the Great Hall with Professor McGonagall. As she walked him down the stone steps and out into the cold November afternoon, she put her hand on his shoulder.

“Now, don’t panic,” she said.  
“Just keep a cool head… We’ve got wizards standing by to control the situation if it gets out of hand… The main thing is just to do your best, and nobody will think any the worse of you… Are you all right?”

“Terrified out of my mind, but I gotta keep smiling, right?” Harry said cheerfully.

He couldn’t wait to get to the dragons, but McGonagall didn’t know that. She was leading him toward the place where the dragons were, around the edge of the forest, but when they approached the clump of trees behind which the enclosure would be clearly visible, Harry saw that a tent had been pulled up, its entrance facing them, screening the dragons from view.

“You’re to go in here with the other champions,” Professor McGonagall said in a rather shaky voice.  
“And wait for your turn, Quinzel. Mr. Bagman is in there... He’ll be telling you the-the procedure… Good luck.”

“Thank you~!” Harry sang before skipping inside while humming a happy little tune.

As he entered, he found the other three champions looking absolutely petrified. Especially Cedric, who probably still didn’t know what the Task was… Poor guy… Harry chuckled and waved cheerfully as the Hufflepuff boy gave him a weak smile. This was going to be _fun_!

“Well, now we’re all here, time to fill you in!” Bagman said brightly.  
“When the audience has assembled, I’m going to be offering each of you this bag.”

He held up a small sack of purple silk and shook it at them. Harry could see something wiggling inside and squeaked in excitement, jumping up and down with a bright grin on his face. Fleur glared at him and he send her a saucy wink before refocusing on Bagman.

“From which you will each select a small model of the thing you are about to face! There are different… varieties, you see. And I have to tell you something else too… ah, yes! Your task is to collect the Golden Egg!”

Cedric frowned in confusion while Fleur and Viktor nodded in understanding. Harry couldn’t wait for this whole thing to start! He had a plan that was sure to get everyone’s attention. He hoped his family would like this trick…

In no time at all, hundreds upon hundreds of pairs of feet could be heard passing the tent, their owners talking excitedly, laughing and joking. He could hear his dad’s loud cackle coming out over all the others, along with Hailey’s excited squeals.

“Can we go say hi?!” he heard the little girl yell.

He heard someone reply in a soft drawl, which was probably Tom. No doubt Luna and Draco would join his parents too, and maybe the twins would go say hello too. He was pretty sure, actually.

“Ladies first,” Bagman said, offering the bag to Fleur.

She put a shaking hand inside the bag and drew out a tiny, perfect model of a dragon, a Welsh Green. It had the number two around its neck. And Harry knew, by the fact that Fleur showed no sign of surprise, but rather a determined resignation, that he had been right. Madame Maxime had told her what was coming. Cedric, however, gasped in shock.

The same held true for Krum. He pulled out the scarlet Chinese Fireball. It had a number three around its neck. He didn’t even blink, just sat back down and stared at the ground.

Cedric put his hand into the bag, and out came the blueish-gray Swedish Short-Snout, the number one tied around its neck. Knowing what was left, Harry put his hand into the silk bag and pulled out the Hungarian Horntail, and the number four. It stretched its wings as he looked down at it, and bared its minuscule fangs.

“Can I keep her?” he asked instantly.  
“She’s so fucking cute! I want all four!”

“I-I suppose that wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Bagman said uncertainly.

Harry grinned happily and petted the head of his miniature dragon.

“I kind of want to call you Toothless, but I think I can do better than that!” he said cheerfully.

The dragon huffed and blew a puff of fire at him in response.

“You have each pulled out the dragon you will face, and the numbers refer to the order in which you are to take on the dragons, do you see?” Bagman told them.  
“Now, I’m going to have to leave you in a moment, because I’m commentating. Mr. Diggory, you’re first, just go out into the enclosure when you hear a whistle, all right?”

The man stepped out of the tent and shortly after, the whistle sounded, meaning it was Cedric’s time to shine. Harry jumped up and put his mini dragon on his shoulder before approaching the Hufflepuff, stretching out his hand.

“Good luck, Cedric!” he said cheerfully.  
“I’m rooting for you! I’ll probably suck anyway.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Cedric replied, smiling.

He grasped Harry’s hand and shook it firmly before handing his miniature dragon to Harry.

“Take care of her, alright?”

He ruffled Harry’s hair fondly, making Harry close his eyes and lean into it with a happy sigh. He loved hair ruffles…

After about fifteen minutes, Harry heard the deafening roar of applause that could mean only one thing: Cedric had gotten past his dragon and captured the Golden Egg.

“Very good indeed!” Bagman was shouting.  
“And now the marks from the judges!”

He didn’t shout out the marks. Harry supposed the judges were holding them up and showing them to the crowd. It was kind of unfair. Harry wanted to know how Cedric had done… Oh well. His mom was filming the whole thing anyway.

“One down, three to go!” Bagman yelled as the whistle blew again.  
“Miss Delacour, if you please!”

Fleur walked out, her hands trembling and her face whiter than Harry had ever seen anyone, and he saw a lot of white faces with the horror he instilled in Gotham. It kind of made him jealous that he wasn’t the reason she was so terrified. He couldn’t wait until he could show her Tom’s _real_ personality.

.              .              .               .              .

Applause rang as Krum got his egg and Harry had already jumped up in excitement, eagerly awaiting his turn to go into the ring.

“Now it is time for our last contester!” Bagman yelled.  
“The surprise underdog! Harry Potter/Quinzel, come on in!”

Grinning happily, Harry skipped into the ring and waved at the loudly cheering crowd. He could see his family sitting in the front row with Hayley’s giant banner blocking the view of the people behind them. She was sitting on Tom’s lap, probably by her own demand as she could be very persuasive with Luna sitting next to Harley, a top hat on her lap and petting Bud and Lou. Fred and George were sitting with Sirius and Poison Ivy, annoying the plant villainess and Draco looked very pale and terrified next to the Joker.

A large wall of fire had Harry focus back on the task at hand. It was kind of surprising that after being so excited to do this, he actually totally forgot he was standing in an arena with a dragon. He kind of lost focus with seeing his family…

“Don’t worry, just some singed eyebrows!” Harry yelled loudly before jumping behind a rock as the dragon attacked again.

Harry laughed loudly and danced away again, pointed his wand at Luna.

“ _Accio top hat_!” he yelled.

The hat flew from Luna’s lap into his hand just as Harry jumped on top of a rock. He put it on and pressed his wand against his throat, casting a Sonorus Charm on himself.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show!” he yelled.

To add force to his greeting, the Horntail blew fire at him again.

 _“Alarte Ascendare!”_ Harry yelled at himself, making himself fly up high in the air, where he made a summersault before falling back down.

He slowed himself down again before crashing and chuckled amused.

“Bad dragon! I’m talking to the crowd!” he scolded playfully.  
“Now! I will conjure a rabbit from my hat for your amusement!”

Harry stuck out his tongue and dug his hand into the hat. He went in all the way to his shoulder and had to roll away at another fire attack halfway through before pulling his hand back up.

“Hey! I told you to stop dammit!” he yelled annoyed before pulling his hand back out holding…  
“You’re not a bunny! Get back in the hat! Bad Basilisk!”

The Basilisk hissed and slithered in front of him, shielding Harry against another onslaught of fire before staring straight into the dragon’s eyes. Many people screamed in horror at the giant snake striking out at the dragon. Harry watched fascinated as the dragon turned to stone, grinning amused. He’d wondered if the dragon would fall dead on the spot but he guessed it was more logical for such a powerful creature wouldn’t die that easily.

 ** _*The threat is gone now, Hatchling,*_** the magnificent serpent hissed deeply.

“’K, I love you, bye, bye!” Harry said childishly, holding out the hat for the Basilisk to disappear back into it.

The crowd looked in utter silence as the great Basilisk went against all laws of nature and returned into the top hat as if it had never been there at all. Harry simply turned it upside down and shook a monocle out of it. After he put it on his eye, he strolled up to the Golden Egg and took it, holding it up proudly. Instantly, his family broke out in loud applause.

“That’s my boy!” Joker crowed loudly.

“Good job, baby!” Harley screamed.

The hyenas joined in with excited yips and Sirius howled loudly. Harry grinned and bowed to them all.

“A-alright… let’s go to the scores!” Bagman stuttered.  
“W-what did the judges think of this… unusual show?”

Dumbledore gave him a ten, which was expected of course, and Bagman did the same, while Crouch gave him a nine and Madam Maxime gave him an eight. Karkaroff, however, gave him only a four.

“What?!” Harley screamed offended, already louder than Harry’s Sonorus without any magic.  
“My son just _summoned a fucking Basilisk_ and turned a dragon to stone! You gave that dumb fuck from your school a ten for barely surviving with sheer luck!”

“Harry Potter/Quinzel had help with this!” Karkaroff shouted back.

“Because obviously Krum has enough brain cells to survive a dragon on his own,” Harry muttered, conveniently forgetting for a moment that he still had the Sonorus Charm on himself.

The Joker and the twins roared out in laughter, followed by most of Hogwarts and several Beauxbatons students. The Durmstrang students jumped up instantly with outcries of rage, Karkaroff’s the loudest of all obviously.

“Heh… Take my points away if you can prove I’ve cheated, sugar tits!” Harry laughed, blowing Karkaroff a kiss before strutting out dramatically under loud applause.

Harry walked out of the enclosure, still grinning, and saw Madam Pomfrey standing at the mouth of a second tent, looking worried. Harry winked at her and walked past. He wasn’t hurt after all. Inside, he was instantly jumped by Cedric.

“How the _fuck_ did you do that?!” the Hufflepuff shouted.  
“That was a real life Basilisk! How did you get it here?!”

“Long story,” Harry said.  
“But to keep it short: I went to Greece in a journey of self-discovery a few years back, where I met the ghost of Herpo the Foul. He challenged me to a game of tic-tac-toe and I beat him royally! So, as a reward, he handed me this top hat. The Basilisk was already inside of it. Herpo tells me before I left again that ‘the King of Serpent will from now on until the day you die obey your every wish.’”

“Menteur,” Fleur muttered, glaring at him.

“How dare you, lady!” Harry shouted offended.  
“How dare you call me a liar without prove!”

He did lie, of course. He honest to god had no clue how he pulled the Basilisk from his hat. He’d just brought the damn thing and hoped for the best. He was pretty sure no one else had charmed the Basilisk into the hat either, because he hadn’t told _anyone_ his plan. Not even Luna. Harry was inclined to believe it was the power of his imagination that did it.

“Well, I’m not hurt, so I’ll be going back to my family!” Harry called out calmly.

He was gone before Madam Pomfrey could stop him.

As he walked out of the tent, he bumped into someone quite harshly, as he hadn’t been paying attention all that much. It was Rita Skeeter. She was wearing acid-green robes today; the Quick-Quotes Quill in her hand blended perfectly against them.

“Congratulations, Harry!” she said, beaming at him.  
“I wonder if you could give me a quick word? How you felt facing that dragon? How you feel now, about the fairness of the scoring?”

Harry smiled charmingly at her and nodded his head at her.

“For you always, Rita!” he said happily.

.              .              .               .              .

“The brave hero has returned!” Joker announced loudly as Harry walked into the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry’s entire family was already there, with Harley sitting next to the Basilisk along with Hayley and Luna, petting the giant snake, cooing at her while Tom sat next to them making sure the great Basilisk wouldn’t attack his ‘sister-in-law’ and Harry’s two ‘sisters’.

“That was amazing, pup!” Sirius shouted, barreling into Harry with a forceful hug.

“Thanks, Siri!” Harry laughed, hugging the man back.  
“I think that was my best trick ever! And the public was wonderful too, so kind!”

“We do try, hehe,” Joker chuckled.

“Very well done, darling,” Ivy said smiling.

“Yeah! I’m real proud of ya!” Harley agreed.

“Proud!” Hayley echoed.

Harry chuckled and walked over to hug his little sister, making Hayley giggled happily. As Harry let his little sister go, he pulled the four miniature dragons from his pocket and showed them to her, making little Hayley squeal in excitement.

“Can you take care of them for me, Hay?” Harry asked her softly.  
“Their names are Tinkerbell for the green one, Rosetta for the red one, Silvermist for the blue one and Vidia for the black one.”

“Ok!” Hayley agreed cheerfully.

Harry smiled and handed the tiny dragons over to the little girl, who giggled happily as Silvermist flew up into her hair immediately.

 ** _*Hatchling!*_** Malinda hissed as she slithered over to him and crawled up on his leg. ** _  
*I was in Tiny Master’s robes when you fought the Fire Breather! Are you alright?*_**

 ** _*I’m fine, Malinda,*_** Harry chuckled, picking up his snake familiar and wrapping her around his neck like a scarf.

 ** _*Thank Speaker!*_** the snake sighed as well as a snake could sigh.

Harry chuckled again, before frowning in thought. There was one thing he’d been dying to ask for a while now…

 ** _*Malinda… Why do you call Tom Tiny Master?*_** he asked curiously.

 ** _*Because that’s what he is,*_** Malinda replied, and if snakes could shrug, Harry was sure she would have.  
**_*He’s a Speaker of the blood, but still a Hatchling. Hatchling’s father is Funny Master.*_**

 ** _*What about if we find older Tom?*_** Harry wanted to know.

 ** _*He will be Big Master,*_** Malinda said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Harry looked up as Tom moved to sit next to him, an inquisitive look on his face as he stared at the Golden Egg.

“Have you figured out yet what you’re supposed to do with it?” he asked curiously.

“Nope! Should I?” Harry asked innocently.

Tom rolled his eyes.

“After you left, Bagman explained that there was a hint to the next Task inside the Egg,” he said.

“Awesome! How do I get it out?” Harry asked eagerly.

“By opening the bloody Egg,” Tom replied deadpan.  
“Salazar, Harry, you defeated a dragon with a Basilisk. I’d expect you could do simple _logic_.”

“What’s Logic?” Harry and the Joker asked together, making Tom face-palm.

“Why do I even try,” he sighed.

Harry chuckled and looked over to Luna.

“Yo, Blue Eyes! Will you be my date for the Ball this Christmas?” he asked.

“I’d love to, Harry,” she replied smiling.

Harry grinned and winked, making Luna giggle while Harley awe’d while Hayley pouted.

“But I wanted to be big brother’s date!” the little girl whined.

“You can do better than me!” Harry told her grinning.

Hayley whined again and shook her head, making Harley chuckle and hug her daughter while Joker watched with a big grin. Ivy and Sirius weren’t paying attention to anyone but each other anymore. Harry was kind of happy they were getting along enough to probably fuck.

“How about you refocus on the damn Egg, Harry,” Tom asked annoyed.

“Why? Don’t you have a date for the Ball yet?” Harry asked teasingly.

“I asked Fleur to be my date right before the Task and she said yes,” Tom replied imperiously.  
“Now _please_ focus on the Egg! Don’t we both want to know what Voldemort is planning for you?”

“I guess…” Harry sighed reluctantly.

He grabbed the Egg and opened the hatch at the top. It was hollow and completely empty, but the moment Harry opened it, the most horrible noise, a loud and screechy wailing, filled the room. The Basilisk hissed angrily and flicked her tail towards the Egg, almost hitting it away, but Tom grabbed it before she could and quickly closed it again.

“Alright. That was very educational,” Harry hummed thoughtful.

“Very indeed. I believe we know all we must,” the Joker agreed.

“All I learned is that my eardrums are bleeding,” Ivy hissed, stomping over.

 


	75. Yule

Harry waited in front of the Ravenclaw Tower for about half a minute until Luna appeared. The pale blonde smiled brightly at him and twirled, showing off her poisonous green dress with purple frills and her hair was done up with bright purple and pink flowers braided in. Harry grinned widely at the chosen colors. They fit with his own dark green dress robes, purple shirt and bright pink hair.

“I’m sorry you had to wait. I was still doing my hair when you arrived,” Luna spoke dreamily, smiling.

Harry didn’t bother asking how she could possibly know when he had arrived and just shrugged.

“I didn’t have to wait long. And it was totally worth the 30 seconds,” he replied, looking his friend over appreciating.  
“If I didn’t know it would be useless to even try, I’d have made a move on you by now, Luna.”

“That’s really nice of you, Harry,” the girl giggled.

They linked their arms and walked together towards the great Hall, where McGonagall and the other Champions were all already waiting. Their teachers gave them a once over, scowling disapprovingly at the strange fashion choice the two teens had made. The other Champions were staring too. Tom, who was apparently Fleur’s date – wearing sky blue robes with silver tie to match his glamoured eyes and Fleur’s silver dress – rolled his eyes in annoyance, but didn’t speak otherwise.

“Original,” McGonagall muttered as she glared at the outfits of Harry and Luna.

Luna giggled and Harry made a silly bow for his teacher. As he straightened up again, he looked at the other Champions, eyes narrowing dangerously as he saw Diggory with Cho on his arm.

The girl wore silvery, Asian style robes that looked very good on her and made Harry burn with want. Cho would be his, even if he had to ruin Cedric first. Make sure she couldn’t look at him anymore, and then she’d come running into his arms all by herself. Meaning he had to do something about his reputation. Become a respectable gentleman at least for the public, like Tom used to be. He glanced over to the handsome teen and smiled. Like Tom was again.

Just as he made that decision, he saw who was standing next to Viktor Krum. Harry had to admit that his own eyes nearly bulged out when he saw the nerdy Gryffindor. Her usually big bush of curls was now sleek and shiny and twisted up in an elegant knot at the back of her head and her dress was multilayered and light blue that made her look like a floating angel.

“Damn,” Harry muttered, giving a childish pout and gaining the attention of his date.  
“I became monogamous at the wrong time it seems. Granger is fucking Hot!”

Luna laughed melodiously at his comment and patted his arm gently. Just then, McGonagall called for their attention, saying they would be going into the Hall in a certain order. Harry wasn’t surprised that he and Luna would be going in last.

As the doors opened, Harry offered his arm to his date again and they walked in side by side behind Fleur and her date. Many of the students present started whispering shocked as Harry and Luna came into view, only making the pink haired Slytherin grin even wider, but the other Champions and their dates received some attention as well.

“Is-is that Hermione Granger!?” they heard Pansy shriek in horror.

The first dance went pretty well. Though Harry didn’t look it, he wasn’t a bad dancer by a long shot, thanks to Tom’s cruel teachings, and the fact that the teen was very in tune with his own body. Harry still preferred more modern dances, but he could also slow dance and so did Luna. Still, he was relieved when it was over and he eagerly dragged Luna over to their friends.

Draco was with Pansy and was wearing black dress robes of the highest quality and Pansy a deep, dark purple dress that flattered her curves. Blaise Zabini and Daphne went together as well, both chosen for dark blue that complemented each other perfectly. Crabbe was going with Millicent Bulstrode, Goyle with Tracy Davis and Theo was with Padma Patil, surprisingly. Harry remembered she had a twin sister in Gryffindor and from what he could see, the poor girl was going with Ronald Weasley, who looked like he was wearing his great-grandmother’s dress. It had an ugly rusty brown color and pink frills. Harry almost burst out laughing at the sight. I bit further he saw Haven Runcorn at the arm of the Hufflepuff Chaser he believed was called Smith.

“You two look like a circus clown threw up on you,” Daphne deadpanned.

The blond Ravenclaw giggled and made a courtesy while Harry just grinned disturbingly wide. The other Snakes were all used to seeing that smile, but Patil wasn’t and the poor girl shuddered in fear, dark eyes wide as she unconsciously took a step back. Theo chuckled a bit and gently touched the girl’s arm.

“Quinn’s a bit weird, but he won’t bite,” he told her.

“Don’t lie to her!” Harry laughed.  
“I definitely do bite. ** _Hard._** ”

“But only when under certain circumstances,” Luna cut in, smiling brightly.  
“Don’t worry, Padma Patil. I don’t see you in such a position in the near future.”

Harry pouted at the implication that he won’t have the Ravenclaw Patil in his bed and sighed resignedly. If he couldn’t get this one, he wasn’t even going to try for her sister. Twins should be done together in his mind. Like Fred and George Weasley. Now those two were great to fuck. Maybe he could try to get the Carrow twins though. He knew Flora had a crush on him after all.

“I guess it’s fine,” he muttered as he looked around the crowd a bit bored.  
“I was planning on becoming monogamous anyway.”

Several gasps could be heard in their little group and they all stared at Harry in shock except the two Ravenclaws. Patil seemed confused to what the problem was and Luna just smiled knowingly.

“I’m sure you’ll get what you want in the end,” the younger girl spoke softly, grabbing Harry’s hand.

“And who succeeded in changing Hadrian ‘I don’t believe in dating’ Quinzel’s mind?” Draco asked curiously.

Harry’s smirk became predatory as he turned to see the other three Champions and their dates at the other side of the Hall. His grin became cold and bitter, though no one but Luna saw this, as he saw Cedric Diggory ask Cho Chang for another dance.

“A very special person,” he muttered as he stared at the couple intently.

.              .              .               .              .

After a bit of socializing with his friends, Harry and Luna decided to join the other Champions and their dates. Fleur was all over Tom, hanging off his arm as she babbled rapidly in French. Tom smiled at her and calmly replied in perfect, untainted French, as if he had been speaking it all his life. Krum was fuzzing over a blushing Hermione, talking in broken English. The brunette looked a bit exasperated, but smiled patiently at her date.

“I didn’t know you could dance so wall, Harry,” Cho Chang said, smiling a bit at him.

“I practiced a lot!” Harry said with a happy giggle.  
“You know, you look really great in that dress.”

The girl blushed and Cedric grinned proudly, grabbing Cho’s hand.

“You look… great too…” Cho said uncertainly.

“Thank you! It’s the latest fashion in Gotham,” Harry said proudly.  
“But I’m not stupid. I know I could never look as handsome as Cedric…”

“Don’t be ridiculous. A lot of girls fancy you,” Cedric laughed.  
“Besides, you have a beautiful one on your arm already.”

The official Hogwarts Champion winked at Luna, who giggled.

“That’s very kind of you, Cedric Diggory,” she said airily.

“I really hope you’re not mad at me for being here,” Harry whispered.

Cedric stopped smiling and looked at Harry for a few seconds.

“Of course not,” he replied softly.  
“It’s not your fault you’re here.”

“That makes me happy,” Harry said grinning.

He was suddenly pulled away from chatting up Cedric by Tom, making the youngest Champion squeak undignified. Scowling, he allowed the older teen to drag him away into a small alcove.

“If you wanna fuck that bad, try Delacour!” Harry whined.  
“I’m not in the mood right now!”

“Which is why you’re all over Diggory,” Tom hissed, rolling his eyes.  
“But that isn’t why I wanted to talk to you in private.”

Harry stopped pouting and raised a brow in curiosity. He looked up at Tom, but the older teen was looking over his shoulder, eyes fixed in an intense stare. Harry turned his head to try and figure out what he was looking at.

“Alastor Moody,” Tom explained.

Harry’s eyes snapped over to their Defense teacher, who just pulled out his hip flask and took another swig, like Harry saw him do a lot.

“What about him?” Harry asked curiously.

“I went to school with him – he was a few years younger – and though he was eccentric back then too, he never had this particular tick,” Tom said, his eyes never leaving the ex-Auror.  
“He had a lot of weird habits, like checking for poisons at every meal and carrying around a bezoar wherever he went, but now, he’s just drinking of that flask every hour.”

“So?” Harry asked confused, unable to understand what was wrong.

“ _Exactly_ every hour, Harry. To the minute.”

Alright, that was a little odd.

“Why are you even observing him so much?” Harry asked with a sigh.

“That man killed and arrested more Dark wizards than the entire Auror Division put together. You should be paying _more_ attention to him.”

“And I thought he was the paranoid one,” Harry muttered, rolling his eyes.  
“We’ll observe him, alright? Maybe we can find something out.”

.              .              .               .              .

Spiking the punch with Spirytus Polish Vodka was the greatest idea Harry had had in a long time. Several drunk off their minds couples were making out desperately in corners or in the middle of the dance floor. Harry had even seen some of the older kids dry-humping. Harry was sure that this night, there would be a lot of international relation-mending.

“Quinzel! Get down from there!” Snape yelled frustrated.

The man had steadily greyed and his face was now stuck in a constant frown, his forehead and mouth wrinkled. It might have something to do with Harry currently swinging off the chandelier in the middle of the Great Hall. So he drunk the Vodka without the punch mixed with it, so what? He wasn’t _that_ drunk…

“I don’t wow how ris… tur… s-sir,” he slurred.

“I don’t care if you fall and break your bloody neck! Get down this instant!”

“I-I wool no’s-say tha’, uncle Sev,” Draco warned in a drunken slur.  
“Pople ‘ready thing yo being unf-f-f-… mean to Q-… Quinn…”

Harry giggled happily and hooked his legs around the chandelier so he was swinging upside down. From there, he watched as Snape grabbed Draco by the scruff of his neck and sniffed his breath.

“ _What_ have you been drinking?!” the Potions Master hissed.

“Punch,” Draco replied scowling confused.

Snape let go of him and quickly strode over to the table with the punch bowls while Luna and Tom, who had been watching close by, walked up to Draco.

“I would get out of here quick before Professor Snape find out what you did, Harry,” Luna said calmly.

“Ok!” Harry replied brightly.  
“Catch me, Tommy!”

With that, he let go of the chandelier and allowed himself to fall down. He had aimed straight for Tom, who’s eyes widened in horror as he came barreling down on him and the two landed in a painful looking heap. Tom groaned in pain while Harry struggled to his feet and shook his head to get some clarity.

“Thomas!” Fleur yelled panicked.

She knelt down next to her date, eyes wide in worry. Harry ignored them as he stumbled out of the Great Hall. He’d get back to the dungeons and sleep it off in his private bedroom before Snape came yelling and Tom would start hexing him…

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was rudely awakened the next morning by Tom pulling away his blanket. He groaned and blinked a few times against the overly bright light.

“… What time is it?” he asked sluggishly.

“It’s four,” Tom replied smirking.

Harry’s eyes widened in shock and he sat up, before whimpering in pain and squeezing his eyes shut again. It was way too bright in the room.

“In the afternoon?” he asked.

“In the morning,” the older chuckled.

Harry peeked through his lashes and pouted at Tom, who was grinning down on him.

“Then why is it so bright?” he wanted to know.  
“Better yet, why the fuck do you wake me up so early.”

“I used Lumos Maxima,” Tom answered the first question.  
“And I’ll be keeping you company until breakfast. Snape is undoubtedly waiting to give you an earful for last night’s spiked punch…”

Harry whined and curled up in a ball, trying to hide his face from the glaring light.

“So this is how I die,” he whimpered pathetically.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry grinned down at the flask in his hand, pick-pocketed from the supposed super-paranoid Mad-Eye Moody. He hadn’t done much when Harry gave him a hug, exclaiming he was his new idol and he wanted to become just like he when he grew up. You’d expect a man with Moody’s reputation to at least put an anti-theft charm on his stuff.

He’d kept it with him until dinner, figuring he could enjoy some strong booze with his food. Or some hallucinogenic potion. Whatever his freaky teacher was into. Once everyone was there, he poured some of it in his Pumpkin Juice and took a big swig, just to see what would happen.

The thing was disgusting and Harry doubled over, groaning as his stomach started to protest against its new contents. The people around him panicked instantly, he was grabbed and hauled up while a few of his classmates started to hurriedly talk to him.

Pansy screamed as his skin started to bubble. His hair turned grey and started lengthening, he grew taller, fattened, his skin dried out and became scarred and he lost one eye and a leg. For a short while, everyone just stared, but then Harry started laughing. He pulled free from Draco and Blaise and started hopping around on his one foot.

“This is amazing!” he shrieked in delight.

He pulled out his wand and conjured himself a peg leg and an eyepatch as he hopped around, cackling loudly. A dull clunk could be heard as his wooden peg leg hit the ground for the first time and he stumbled a little before finding his balance.

“I always wanted to be a pirate!” he shouted happily.  
“Arghhh! Ahoi, mateys! I’m captain One-Eye Moody!”

Professor Moody jumped up from where he was seated at the teacher’s table, his real eye wide in horror as Harry limped around, snarling insults at his fellow students. Snape was up right away as well and hurriedly strode over along with Professor McGonagall to where Harry had been seated. Snape grabbed Harry’s cup and sniffed it before casting a murmured spell on it.

“Polyjuice,” he said frowning.  
“Care to explain, Mr. Quinzel?”

“I didn’t do it!” Harry said hurried.  
“It were the elves! They’re trying to get me expelled because I know of their master plan to kill all Wizards and take over the world!”

“Detention, Quinzel,” Snape said coldly.  
“I’m sure Professor Moody would like to oversee your punishment yourself.”

“Gladly,” Moody replied in a choked, hoarse voice.  
“Tonight. At my office, Mr. Quinzel. You better have a good explanation.”

“But I have an explanation!” Harry shouted, still grinning like a maniac.  
“I already told you! It’s the House-Elves! They’re revolting against their oppressors!”

From the corner of his eye, he could see Tom lean over to Draco and whisper something in the natural blonde’s ear. Draco nodded in reply before standing up and walking over.

“I’ll take him to the hospital wing, Sir,” Draco told Snape, grabbing Harry’s wrist.  
“Come along, Quinn. I’m sure Madam Pomfrey can get you back to normal.”

“Normal?!” Harry asked offended.  
“Don’t insult your Professor, boy!”

.              .              .               .              .

Madam Pomfrey had Harry fixed within 20 minutes and he and Draco were send back on their way with a thorough scolding that he shouldn’t use such a dangerous potion. Harry was grinning so wide it started to hurt, which made Draco very nervous as they walked side by side back to the dungeons. They had almost reached it when they met Tom, leaning against the doorframe, looking at Harry with a very intense gaze that made the younger teen feel hot.

“Go on ahead, Draco,” he said calmly, pushing away and motioning into the classroom behind him.  
“Harry and I have a few things to discuss that are none of your concerns. Don’t we, Harry?”

“If you say so,” Harry replied shrugging, walking into the room.

Draco huffed and turned away to continue on towards the dungeons on his own. Tom closed the door behind him and grabbed Harry by the throat, slamming him harshly against the wall.

“What the _hell_ was that?!” he hissed angrily.  
“Where did you get that potion? _Why did you drink it?!_ ”

“Remember that flask Moody keeps drinking every hour?” Harry asked with a grin.

Tom’s eyes widened in shock and he let go of Harry, taking a step back. After a few short moments, Tom threw his head back and started laughing.

“He isn’t Alastor Moody!” he cackled.  
“He’s an imposter. Which answers one of our questions.”

“Whoever he is, he’s working for uncle Voldy,” Harry said, nodding.

“All we need to know now is _who_ he is and _what_ Voldemort is planning,” Tom said with a shark like grin.

Harry laughed and slapped his forehead as he thought of something. Ignoring Tom’s confused frown, he stepped up to one of the desks and pulled the Marauder’s Map from his pocket.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good,” he said.

He could hear Tom approach him to take a look at what he was doing, but ignored it as he looked for ‘Moody’s’ study. The name ‘Alastor Moody’ was indeed there, motionless in a corner of the room, but close by, walking circles, was a second person with the name of ‘Bartemius Crouch Jr.’

“Got it,” Harry whispered grinning.

Tom’s eyes widened and he shoved Harry to the side to better see the Map. He looked awed as he gently picked the parchment up, as if afraid he’d ruin it. Harry could see his cogwheels turn rapidly as he thought over everything.

“Where did you get something like this?” Tom asked in a whisper.

“James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew created it when they were students,” Harry replied smugly.  
“They called it the Marauders Map and it shows everyone in the castle. Fred and George gave it to me last year.”

Tom hummed and then refocused on the new Crouch.

“Didn’t Black say that Crouch send his own son to Azkaban?” he asked.  
“I looked the whole thing up some more, and apparently, his name was Bartemius Crouch Jr. A half-blood.”

Harry laughed at that.

“Sounds like you could start a club!” he teased.  
“Evil half-blood juniors! You and Barty, and Snape can be a special member, since he’s no junior.”

He yelped at the sudden stinging hex and glared at Tom, who still hadn’t looked up from the Map.

“Barty Crouch Jr. supposedly died in Azkaban, shortly before his mother passed away from illness,” he mumbled.  
“However, you said yourself that Crouch Sr. seemed to believe his own House Elf was behind the attack at the World Cup… So maybe his son isn’t as dead as he wants people to believe…”

“Why do you even look those things up?” Harry asked, frowning annoyed.

This time, Tom did look up and he smirked darkly at Harry.

“ _Know thy enemy_ , dear Harry. Knowledge is Power.”

.              .              .               .              .

Tom decided to join Harry to Moody’s office when it was time for the pink haired teen for his detention with his Defense professor. The Map had showed them that Crouch was now in Moody’s office, walking around while the real Moody was still sitting still in the corner.

Tom knocked on the door with determination and stepped back, looking over Harry’s shoulder to the Map as Crouch moved towards them. They both looked up and smirked as they saw Moody glaring at them as the door swung open. Tom wound an arm around Harry’s waist and squeezed the boy against his chest, chuckling in victory.

“Looks like we were right, darling,” he murmured in Harry’s ear.

Harry giggled and grinned at his false professor while Tom planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

“What are you doing here, Napier?” fake Moody asked gruffly.  
“It was just Quinzel who’s got detention.”

Instead of replying, Tom let go of Harry and pushed past the professor into the office. Scowling in confusion and anger, Moody trailed after the older teen as Harry too stepped into the room and cancelled the Map before closing and locking the door. As the lock fell in place, Moody turned around again to stare incredulously at Harry.

“What the hell is this?!” he growled, pulling out his wand.

“ _Expeliarmus!”_ Moody’s wand flew from his hand and into Tom’s, who was smirking at the man.

“Don’t give me a reason to test how well the school is warded against Dark magic,” Tom warned lightly.

Harry chuckled and smirked at fake Moody, who was staring at them in shock. Tom sighed pleasantly and stroked a hand through his own hair, turning it from blond back to its normal ebony curls before turning his eyes back to dark green. Moody’s real eye widened even more at the sight, but there was no spark of recognition, like one would expect there to be if he had been the real Moody.

“Barty Crouch Jr.” Tom spoke calmly as he circled the heavily confused man.  
“I went to school with your father, actually. He was a few years younger and disappointingly disinterested in Pureblood Traditions, so we didn’t talk much. Married a muggle, didn’t he? He was classmates with the real Moody. They didn’t get along very well.”

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the man that looked like Moody rasped.

The nervous reply made Harry chuckle amused and he tutted, shaking his head with a wide grin at his teacher.

“Lying to Tom isn’t a good idea,” he said.  
“Voldy’s bad, but teenage Voldy’s petty.”

“Shut up, you annoying little brat,” Tom shot at him, glaring before he turned back to Moody/Crouch.  
“We know you’re working for Voldemort, and that he needs Harry for something. That’s why you entered him after all.”

Moody/Crouch pressed his lips together and glared at Tom, making the teen narrow his eyes dangerously. While Harry was definitely interested in seeing what torture techniques his ‘cousin’ would use to get the information, they hadn’t really the time, so he pushed away from the wall and approached the other two occupants in the room.

“We’re not going to rat on you, or fight Voldemort,” he said calmly.  
“I snuck a younger version of him out and back into the school for fuck’s sake!”

“Try not to make me sound like a cheap copy, Harry,” Tom drawled.

“It’s the truth though, isn’t it?” Harry shot back with a smirk.

“Slut.”

“Fake.”

“Let’s just get on with it already,” Tom muttered annoyed, rolling his eyes.  
“I want to know what he’s planning. How are you useful to bring him back to full power?”

“Because I’m amazing and beautiful and let’s be honest, who doesn’t want me?” Harry chuckled.

“Do you want me to make you a list?” Tom asked teasingly.

“Make one of your good qualities too then-… oh wait, you don’t have any.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had another idea for how Harry found out Moody wasn’t Moody, but Nobody came up with this and shared it with me and I liked it better than what I had been planning. I wrote out both ideas and had my Beta GittieKittie read both. She picked this one because it was funnier and very unique. So thanks, Nobody! :D


	76. Preparations

The Slytherin students woke up in the morning with Harry patrolling the dungeons, handing out flyers saying ‘Make Slytherin Great Again!’. He’d even called in the help of the twins and Luna to help him out, though he kept telling them they weren’t supposed to be there, because they weren’t real Slytherins. He kept bullying the Durmstrang students too, aside from Tom, who he was still heavily sucking up to.

“I build those walls for a reason, you know,” Harry told them imperiously.  
“To keep you people out of what rightly belongs to us Slytherins! You Gryffindors and Ravenclaws and Durmstrang guys are stealing our dungeon and infiltrating our classes!”

“We’ve wandered this dungeon longer than you!” Fred cried out in outrage.

“You can’t kick us out!” George shouted in agreement.

Most people just stared at Harry blankly, being used to his shit. All, except Theo, who realized something about what Harry had said.

“What walls?” the boy asked.

Harry turned to look at him instantly started grinning widely. Instantly, several Slytherin students groaned, while the Durmstrang students, who were a lot less used to Harry’s antics all scowled confused.

“The ones I build at all the entrances of the dungeons!” Harry said cheerfully.  
“No one can get in unless they are Slytherins or they have a legitimate time-table proving they _have_ to be there!”

Draco smacked his face with his hand and sighed annoyed, making Harry laugh.

“But… Why?” Pansy asked confused.

“No reason at all!” Harry exclaimed amused.  
“It’s mostly to make fun of the American readers.”

This only caused more confused stares, even from the twins. Luna just smiled at Harry and nodded her head in agreement.

“But you really should be nicer to them, you know?” the girl said.

“Pff!” Harry huffed, pouting.

“What the hell are you two talking about?!” Draco exclaimed annoyed.  
“Why don’t you ever make sense, Quinn! Making fun of who? What readers?”

“Nobody~” Harry sang lightly.  
“Good thing I only build three walls, because I just broke the fourth! HAH!”

“I give up!” Draco shouted, throwing his hands up in defeat.

“I gave up on him a long time ago,” Tom chuckled.  
“You’re way too much like your dad, Love. Completely insane.”

“Thank you!” Harry giggled, blushing a little at the compliment.

.              .              .               .              .

It turned out that Harry wasn’t joking about the walls. He had even charmed several suits of armor to guard them and only let the students who had written proof that they were supposed to be there, or if they had a Slytherin or Durmstrang emblem. The last one was a very recent development too, as many Durmstrang students were kept out after breakfast and Tom had gone to ‘negotiate’ with Harry. Half an hour and a good fuck later, Harry allowed them to come back inside.

.              .              .               .              .

Crouch was watching Harry and Luna make paper planes from his tests with a perpetual scowl while Draco and Tom were busy reading through Voldemort’s plans. The man was still not happy with their appearance in his office, but there was little he could do after Harry threatened to tell Dumbledore.

“This is interesting…” Tom muttered.

“That ritual… Can it be done without Quinn?” Draco asked curiously.  
“I mean, it only says ‘Blood of the enemy.’ Never does it say, ‘Blood of the Chosen One’.”

Harry snorted a laugh and handed Luna his half-folded test paper of one Coral Dunwall before walking over.

“Any ideas?” he asked the two male teens.

“It’s easy enough to use someone else’s blood for the ritual,” Tom said.  
“But in the footnotes it says Voldemort wants specifically yours to undo your mother’s blood protection.”

“Is it possible to use a little of Quinn’s blood?” Draco asked.  
“That way the Dark Lord will be back without killing Quinn.”

“Harry isn’t an enemy,” Tom replied.  
“Neither would it be forceful if he agrees to it.”

“Why can’t we use both my blood and that of an enemy?” Harry asked curiously.

“Because, Harry, it-” Tom started exasperated before stopping and frowning.  
“That… might actually work! It won’t take much changing of the ritual either.”

Harry grinned proudly.

“See?! I’m smart!” he said happily.

“Yeah? Have you figured the hint from the Egg out yet?” Tom asked with a roll of his eyes.

“…”

“Thought so,” Tom said smugly.

Draco frowned and looked over to Crouch, who was picking up the paper planes Luna had already thrown.

“Do you know what to do with it?” he asked their teacher.

Crouch looked up and glared for a short moment before nodding.

“It’s mermish,” Crouch said.  
“You need to listen to it underwater.”

“… I knew that,” Harry said pouting.

“No, you didn’t,” Tom snorted.

“Well, neither did you!”

Tom rolled his eyes and looked back at the false teacher.

“It says Flesh of the Servant, willingly sacrificed,” Tom said.  
“Will that be you, or is there someone else involved like in Harry’s dream?”

“Yeah! That Carrow chick!” Harry shouted happily.

“Alecto Carrow, yes,” Crouch said nodding.  
“She’ll make your new plan very difficult. She and her brother are the kill first ask questions never type. Bloodthirsty brutes with barely any common sense. The only reason they are still walking round instead of locked away in Azkaban is their older brother Serafino.”

“I’m kind of the same though,” Harry said smirking.  
“Ask Tom or my dad. I work best when one of them is holding my leash.”

Tom laughed and rubbed Harry’s head, making the younger teen grin.

“Woof,” he said.

“So who are you planning to use as the enemy?” Draco asked.

Harry’s happy grin from being petted turned dark and demonic.

“Cedric Diggory,” he replied instantly.  
“I’ll even get him to win with me if I have to.”

“You really want to fuck the Chinese girl hat bad?” Tom asked incredulous.

“Yes.”

Tom and Draco rolled their eyes while Crouch scowled confused as he wasn’t used to Harry’s antics as much as the others were. Just then, Luna walked up and sat down next to Draco with a bright smile.

“Look, Draco. I made a paper peacock,” she said, handing him the folded paper.

Draco smiled and accepted the little gift. It was indeed a well-crafted paper peacock.

“I think Sylvia Herbert deserves a ten out of ten for this, Professor,” he said, smirking at Crouch.

The man gave a mirthless smile and turned back to his ruined test-papers while the group of teens chuckled amused. The man sighed and shook his head in annoyance, causing Harry to laugh harder.

“Ah. I just remembered something,” Tom spoke up, staring intently at Crouch.  
“Rumor has it that your father went missing several weeks ago. Any ideas?”

Crouch smiled evilly.

“He’s dead,” he replied.

.              .              .               .              .

“Cedric!” Harry called out as he ran up to the Hufflepuff.

The other Hogwarts Champion stopped walking and turned to look at Harry, smiling at him.

“Hey there, Harry,” he greeted.  
“How are you doing? You had it bad at the Ball…”

“I know! It was a nightmare,” Harry exclaimed grinning.

He stepped closer to Cedric, smirking as the older teen’s eyes widened and he stepped back, suddenly looking nervous. Harry understood his worry of course. There was not a single student who didn’t know Harry’s reputation as a troublemaker and master prankster. His seduction skills were still pretty unknown by the masses, but Harry was sure that wouldn’t stay like that very long.

“So how is the handsome hero of the school doing today?” he asked teasingly, backing Cedric up into a wall.

“U-um… Harry?” he asked nervously.  
“Can I… you know… get some space?”

“But I have a secret to whisper in your ear,” Harry said innocently.

He went to stand on his toes so he could press his lips against Cedric’s ear. He could feel the heat of the older teen’s blush. He was so sweetly confused, as if he was still a virgin. But what man would still be a virgin when they had a girlfriend like Cho ‘Hot damn’ Chang.

“Tonight, 8 o’clock at the Prefect’s bathroom. Bring the Egg,” he whispered.

He stepped back and grinned as he saw Cedric’s bewildered expression.

“W-what?” he asked softly.

“I’ll show you how to crack it,” Harry said grinning.

“Cedric?” Cho’s voice rang out uncertainly.  
“Harry? What are you two doing?”

“Just talking about the Tournament!” Harry said cheerfully.

Cho’s eyes narrowed for a moment before she sighed and shrugged.

“Alright. We’re still on for Hogsmeade tomorrow, right Ced?”

“Definitely,” Cedric replied.

He moved away from Harry so he could give Cho a kiss on the cheek. The girl smiled and gave him a quick hug, blushing a little as she rushed off.

“You know. You’re extremely lucky to have such an amazing girlfriend,” Harry said.  
“And I bet the sex is amazing too…”

Cedric blushed at that and looked away. Harry’s eyes widened dramatically and he gasped.

“Oh! You two haven’t…” he started shocked.  
“But you guys have been dating for a year and a half! What’s the hold-up?”

“It’s not really any of your business, is it?” Cedric told him scowling.

Harry pouted and shrugged.

“I’m just curious,” he mumbled dejected.  
“You could at least try to be nice. I just helped you with the Golden Egg…”

Cedric sighed and drug his hand through his hair as he looked around himself.

“Alright… You win,” he muttered.  
“Cho wants to wait until marriage.”

Harry held back a snort of disbelieve. Who wouldn’t want to have sex? It was awesome! Oh, well… He could use this to his advantage. After all, Cedric was an eighteen year old boy with a lot of hormones and a girlfriend who wasn’t going to take care of that.

“Nobel,” he said, smiling sweetly at Cedric.  
“You, I mean. To deny yourself sex for her.”

Cedric blushed.

“I love her,” he said.  
“I’m not denying myself anything if she’s the only one I want to be with.”

Harry smirked. The Hufflepuff was lying to himself because Harry had definitely felt the beginnings of an erection pressing against him earlier…

“If you say so~” he sang, walking away from Cedric.  
“Don’t forget what I told you, alright? I’ll be waiting for you.”

With that, he walked away, whistling a happy tune.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually make a point of not making any political jokes, especially since I’m not American. However, when Nobody suggested this, I couldn’t resist. Mostly because of the chance to have Harry break the fourth wall. I don’t care about who president is in America unless they decide to bomb Europe…


	77. Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Harry/Cedric, Harry/Fred/George, Blow Jobs, Manipulation, Infidelity, Anal Sex, Double Penetration  
> Pretty much an all sex chapter again with a little story in the beginning. Like always, I have a little warning at the start of the smut and at the end, which will be ALL the way down at the end.

Cedric was already waiting for Harry as he arrived at the entrance to the Prefect Bathroom. He was smiling nervously, his Egg held in his arms like a baby.

“Hey,” the older teen greeted lamely.

“Hi!” Harry chirped happily, skipping over and hugging Cedric.  
“I was a little worried you wouldn’t come! I’m happy you did though.”

“You made a few good points to get me here,” Cedric replied, smiling.

Harry giggled and pressed up against Cedric’s side, grabbing his arm.

“Wanna go in, then? I’ll show you how to work that big… Egg you’ve got there.”

Harry smirked and winked, making Cedric blush. The guy was so easy to string along. Harry couldn’t help but wonder if that was what Cho was doing too with her ‘no sex before marriage’ bullshit. At least he wasn’t such a pussy like Cedric. He’d get her so far as to change her mind on that.

“S-sure,” Cedric said blushing.

Harry just smiled innocently and pulled the older teen into the bathroom where he started to take off his clothes. For a few moments, Cedric was just staring at him until Harry turned to him, stark naked and half hard. Cedric blushed ad turned away, making Harry laugh.

“Clothes off, Ced!” he said teasingly.  
“You can’t take a bath like that, silly!”

“R-right…” the older muttered, undoing his pants.  
“Is it really necessary to do this for the Egg though?”

“Are you doubting me, Mr. Diggory?” Harry asked, mock offended.

“Of course not, I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Quinzel!” Cedric laughed.

As they were both finally naked, they dove in the huge bath with scented water from the diving board. Harry laughed as his head came back above water and splashed Cedric.

“I want to become a Prefect next year!” Harry said giggling.

“No offence, Harry, but I don’t think you’re the right person to be a Prefect,” Cedric said amused.

What?! Well, in that case I’m probably not the right person to tell you what to do,” Harry replied.

Cedric laughed and swam over to Harry, grabbing the younger teen by his waist.

“Please?” he asked teasingly.

“Hmmm… For a kiss, I’ll tell.”

Cedric’s smile fell and he looked away.

“… Harry…” he said warningly.

“Just on the cheek, Ced,” Harry persuaded him.  
“Cho can’t make a big deal out of that, right?”

Cedric sighed and nodded in agreement.

“One on the cheek I can do,” he said, leaning down.

Cedric closed his eyes and moved down to Harry to kiss him. right before his lips pressed against Harry’s cheek, the younger teen turned his head and let the kiss land on his lips instead. Cedric jerked in surprise, but Harry quickly grabbed him by the back of his neck and opened his mouth invitingly.

Cedric moaned softly and relaxed, his own hands tightening their grip on Harry’s waist as they made out. Just as Harry felt like he might get Cedric to go further, the older teen pulled away, brushing brightly and his hand over his mouth.

“I have a-a,” he whispered.

“Girlfriend, I know,” Harry replied, rolling his eyes.  
“You keep the Egg underwater and listen to it.”

Cedric instantly scrambled to the side of the bath and grabbed his Egg before returning and diving under with it. Harry smirked and followed his example. He watched as Cedric opened up the Egg, his eyes widening as he heard a chorus of eerie voices singing to him instead of the horrid screeching from when it was above water.

 _“Come seek us where our voices sound,_  
We cannot sing above the ground,  
And while you’re searching ponder this:  
We’ve taken what you’ll sorely miss,  
An hour long you’ll have to look,  
And to recover what we took,  
But past an hour — the prospect’s black,  
Too late, it’s gone, it won’t come back.” 

Harry let himself float back upward and broke the bubbly surface, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

“Hear it?” he asked Cedric.

“How did you know this would work?” Cedric asked awed.

Harry shrugged and smirked. Like hell he was going to admit that he’d gotten Tom to tell him, and Tom had heard it from Crouch Jr. He wouldn’t even bother with helping the Hufflepuff if he didn’t get anything out of it himself either, and with the way the Champion was staring at him adoringly, Harry could already tell he would get what he wanted.

“A guy can have his secrets,” he replied chuckling.

“Thanks, Harry. I doubt I would have figured it out myself in time,” Cedric said sincerely.

Harry laughed and pulled himself up out of the bath to sit on the edge, legs spread provocatively. He grinned widely as he saw the older teen blush and look away from him. He almost thought it was cute, but cute had never been his thing, so he shrugged it off.

“Why don’t you try thanking me in a better way?” he purred, staring at Cedric with half-lidded eyes.

The older teen blushed harder. He glanced up to Harry hesitantly, eyes widening for a moment before he quickly looked away again.

“Y-you know I can’t do that, Harry,” he said reluctantly.  
“I love Cho, and doing something like this behind her back…”

“Cho won’t know,” Harry told him with a shrug.  
“Besides, didn’t you tell me she wanted to wait? You deserve something for your hard work for this school, Ced. And I deserve a reward for solving our little puzzle. If you’re really uncomfortable with this, we’ll leave it at a blowjob. If you give me one it’s not really cheating, right? It won’t be as if we’d be having sex.”

That was a really faulty logic of course, but Cedric didn’t need much of a reason to give in. Harry had been trying to seduce him since Yule, and with how well Harry was at manipulating those around him, having learned from the very best, it was impossible for the older boy to refuse Harry.

**_*** Sex Scene ***_ **

Cedric smiled at Harry and waded over. As he stopped in front of the younger teen, he dropped to his knees quickly and took a gentle hold of Harry’s flaccid penis. He stroked it a few times, looking at it intensely as if trying to muster up the courage to do more. Harry moaned appreciatively, and grabbed Cedric’s shoulder, pulling him closer. That was all the encouragement the older teen needed, as he leaned in and softly licked a trail on Harry’s dick, going from the base all the way up to the head. Again, Harry moaned, more sincere this time as he tugged at Cedric’s shoulder to get him to move more. Cedric chuckled and opened his mouth, wrapping his lips around the head of Harry’s penis and sucked.

“Fuck that feels good!” Harry groaned.

He moaned almost continuously as Cedric moved down his cock until it hit the back of his throat before moving back up and swirling his tongue around the head. Harry bucked his hips slightly but Cedric quickly pressed them back down against the wet tiles, using one hand to keep them in place as he used his other hand to jerk the part of Harry’s dick that didn’t fit in his mouth.

Before long, Harry was crying out in release. Cedric pulled back just in time, letting Harry’s cum hit his face instead of the inside of his mouth. Harry was lying on his back and panting harshly, twitching just a bit at the intenseness of his release. This had been completely different from fucking Tom, but definitely not bad. His only regret was that Cedric hadn’t been rougher.

“Now I get why he likes me to do that so much,” he muttered absentmindedly.

He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, and tensed when he felt Cedric do the same between his legs. He opened his eyes again to glance at the older Hufflepuff to see him stare at Harry with a pained expression, his hand stilled where they had been scrubbing his face clean. Harry swallowed. He’d have to explain that one.

“You’ve… done this before?” Cedric asked quietly.

“Never received,” Harry admitted with a shrug, looking away and willing himself to blush in a shameful manner.  
“I… I used to have a lover in the States. He’s a few years older than me, like you are and really good-looking – again like you I guess. I thought I loved him, I really did, but I don’t think he ever really cared about me. He’d make me do stuff like this a lot, and fuck me, but it was never about me. Everything was always to make him feel good, so I broke up with him.”

He let out a startled yelp when he felt the older teen pull him up and hug him against his naked chest. Cedric’s erection digging uncomfortably into his stomach.

“You deserve much better than that, Harry,” he whispered.  
“You deserve someone who cares about you and loves all of you for who you are.”

Harry rolled his eyes and sneered. _‘Says the guy that’s cheating on his girlfriend’_ he thought darkly. Instead of saying that though, he wrapped his arms around Cedric’s shoulders and returned the hug.

“Thank you for understanding, Ced,” he muttered.

The older teen hummed and started trailing butterfly kisses on the side of Harry’s neck, moving down to his collarbone and chest. Harry sighed, something that Cedric undoubtedly took as pleasured if his smile and eagerness to continue was any sign, but was in reality one of annoyance. He really hated all the touchy-feely stuff.

.              .              .               .              .

Sneaking into the Gryffindor Common room almost too easy, thanks to his Invisibility Cloak and Fred and George always updating him on the password in case he wanted to visit. Harry snickered softly as he slowly made his way towards the 6th year boys dorms. He bet they hadn’t expected him to come visit after curfew.

The door didn’t creak as he slid it open and peeked inside and he grinned deviously. Everyone was sound asleep. Harry played with the idea to use a sleeping charm to make sure they all stayed that way, but discarded that idea. It was way more exciting without one anyway.

Fred and George had the two beds furthest away from the door. He snuck towards George first and quickly pressed a hand over the redhead’s mouth. George’s eyes flew open in panic. Harry grinned at him and pressed a finger against his own mouth, indicating he had to stay quiet. George relaxed.

“What are you doing here?!” he whispered harshly when Harry let go of his mouth.

“I need a fuck,” Harry replied easily as he moved to Fred’s bed.

He motioned for George to join him and pulled out his wand. A few whispered privacy charms later, he and George climbed on Fred’s bed and closed the curtains around it. Harry quickly settled on top of the sleeping redhead and leaned down to bite his collarbone.

“Gah!” Fred shouted, sitting upright with wide eyes.

Harry chuckled and pecked the redhead’s lips.

“Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey~” he sang teasingly.

“Harry? What the hell are you doing here?! What time is it?!” Fred demanded.

“It’s about midnight, and I need someone to fuck me until I can’t stand up anymore,” Harry deadpanned.  
“But then I figured two are always better than one, so I came here.”

This had both Fred and George smirk mischievously. Fred pulled away the covers, revealing he, just like his brother, was only dressed in boxers. He grabbed Harry by the waist and pulled him in a deep kiss while George pulled out his wand and vanished Harry’s clothes. He raised a brow at the hickeys he found on the younger teen’s naked shoulders and the sweat-slick body that he revealed.

“I don’t think we’re the first he went to tonight, Forge,” he chuckled.

Fred leaned away from Harry and looked him over with wide eyes.

“I think you’re right, Gred,” he agreed teasingly.  
“But that only means we’re better than whoever it was, if they can’t satisfy our Harry.”

“Fuck yeah. You’re ten times better, now fucking satisfy me,” Harry demanded sulkily.

He pulled Fred’s boxers down and gripped the already erect cock that sprang free, giving it a few strong pumps before he sat up on his knees and moved over the dripping erection. Harry gave a teasing grin at Fred who suddenly seemed nervous and looked at the closed curtains.

“You guys made sure we won’t be bothered right- AH!”

Harry had suddenly dropped all the way down in one swift go, making Fred cry out in pleasure as he dug his blunt nails in Harry’s hips. The young pink haired boy shuddered and kept still for a short moment, getting used at the sudden fullness and the pain of being stretched too far too quick. It did nothing to wilt his own leaking erection though. In fact, it only made him harder.

“We each did several privacy charms,” George told his brother chuckling.

The redhead not currently being ridden by Harry, leaned over the younger teen’s back to kiss his back and shoulders softly. His erection rubbed against the cleavage of Harry’s ass, making the pink haired boy tense up. George groaned and quickly moved away, eyes wide.

“I didn’t mean to-” he started, but Harry looked over his shoulder and grinned at him, eyes darkened with lust.

“Do it,” he demanded softly.  
“Stick it in. I want to do it.”

Fred, who had continued rocking into Harry stopped and stared in shock at the pink head.

“Both of us?” he sputtered.

“At the same time?” George gasped.

“Yeah! I’ve always wondered what that would be like!” Harry replied grinning.

“Oh fuck,” Fred muttered wide eyed.

“That’s so…” George moaned.

“… So hot!” Fred finished.

Harry laughed and wiggled his ass, making Fred moan loudly. George gasped and leaned closer, pressing a single magically lubricated finger against Harry’s already filled up hole. The pink haired teen panted and pushed back against him, forcing the finger into him.

“Don’t bother too much, alright?” he said.  
“Just a quick preparing and then shove it in.”

“You really like it when it hurts, don’t you,” Fred chuckled.

Harry just chuckled breathlessly and moaned as George added a second finger. Fred let his eyes fall closed and he too groaned at the added tightness of Harry’s ass around his dick. George stabbed his fingers in as deep as they could go one last time before pulling them out and replacing them with the head of his leaking erection.

Harry moaned loudly as George started pressing inside next to his brother, his eyes rolling to the back of his head at the intense pain. His entire body shook and beads of sweat dribbled down his naked back. The twins groaned in unison and George wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist while Fred’s fingers pressed deeper into the pink haired teen’s hips, leaving dark bruises.

Harry had blacked out for a moment and when he returned to full consciousness, the twins had already started fucking him in hard, synchronized thrusts. As one thrust in, the other pulled out. Harry’s head thumped against George’s shoulder as he moaned loudly and panted in exertion.

“Y-you… fffffffuck! Alright…? You… l-looked a-a bit… out of it…” Fred asked panting.

“I died and went to masochist heaven. Keep going!” Harry moaned.

The two redheads laughed and did just that, shutting the pink haired troublemaker up by forcing more moans and whimpers from his lips. Harry felt as he was going to split apart with how full he was. This was all a special kind of torture that made him sincerely wonder if he hated it, or loved it. Probably both. But if Tom asked, then he’d say it was the best sex he’d ever had.

“I-I’m almost…” Fred whimpered.

Harry laughed breathlessly and clenched up, making both Gryffindor pranksters scream and Fred instantly shot his load deep into Harry. The younger teen winced and frowned. He hadn’t thought this through…

“Disgusting.”

“Sorry,” Fred muttered tiredly as he pulled out.

He dropped down on his back and Harry went with him, lying on top of the redhead while George leaned over him, desperately chasing his own orgasm.

“Least you can do is get me off too…” Harry muttered to Fred.

The older teen chuckled weakly and pulled Harry in for a searing kiss while sneaking a hand between their bodies and grabbing his cock. Harry lifted his hips up a bit more and started fucking himself between Fred’s hand and George’s cock. Next time they should make a little fuck-train with Harry in the middle, fucking one while being fucked by the other. That would be really fun!

After another minute, Harry finally released in Fred’s hand and George pulled out, coming all over Harry’s back. At least he hadn’t come inside like Fred.

***** End Sex Scene *****

Harry sighed and quickly cast a cleaning charm on the three of them. He crawled over the two sleepy redheads and struggled back into his clothes before sneaking out. The twins were already fast asleep once more before he had even pulled the Invisibility Cloak back around himself.

He snuck back through the castle without stumbling into any trouble – with a little stop at Filch’s office to explode all the confiscated dung bombs and firecrackers in there, scaring Mrs. Norris who had been sleeping on the desk – and he reached the Slytherin dorms smoothly. He wasn’t all that surprised he found Tom sitting on one of the armchairs, reading a book.

“Had fun?” the older teen asked lazily.

Harry smirked darkly and pulled the Cloak off.

“Oh. **_You have no idea,_** ” he replied darkly.

.              .              .               .              .

“Hey there, Ginny!” Harry greeted cheerfully as he walked into the toilets.

The young ghost girl’s eyes widened and a dark silver blush adorned her cheeks before she fled into one of the toilet stalls. Harry frowned and looked over at Myrtle who was grinning smugly.

“What’s up with her?” he asked, trying to hide his annoyance.

“We had a _very_ interesting night,” the ghost said sweetly.  
“You know, I like to visit the Prefect’s bathroom, and Ginny just so happened to tag along…”

“Alright, so you saw me fuck Diggory,” Harry said blankly.

With a sigh, he strode over to where Ginny had disappeared and slammed the door open.

“So I like to fuck! So what?!” he shouted annoyed.  
“The one person I’d want to be exclusive with is a ghost! I have my needs too, you know!”

“Really?” Ginny asked from behind him.  
“I-I guess it’s normal… I’m not upset, just embarrassed that I saw…”

Harry smiled and leaned in. He knew he couldn’t really kiss Ginny, but he could at least give her the impression of a kiss. Ginny squeaked as he brushed his lips against her cold ectoplasmic mouth. She was hovering completely petrified in the air as Harry stepped away with a smirk.

“If you still had a body, I would definitely fuck you senseless,” he whispered huskily.

Ginny looked away with a smile and a dark silver blush.

“What about me, Harry?” Myrtle purred, leaning into Harry.

“That goes without saying,” Harry replied grinning.

Heh… His very own ghost harem. Now there was something he could get behind. Maybe the Grey Lady would be up for it too…

 


	78. The Second Task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the last chapter in a while that I can post. I have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning for some tests to see if I have adrenocortical insufficiency, or Addison’s disease. I’ve been told those tests can be really taxing and I could be sick and exhausted for a long time after. Knowing my track record with exhaustion and the recuperation, I might end up bedridden for weeks or even months. I’ll definitely get back to writing as soon as I’m better again though, but don’t expect anything for the next two weeks, sorry.

“I wonder who they’ll take as my damsel,” Harry wondered in Crouch’s office.

Just like with the First Task, Harry and Tom had blackmailed Crouch in telling them what the Second one would be and they would do it again for the Final Task. However, they had both pressed that Crouch would _not_ help with figuring out _how_ to get through the Tasks. Harry because he thought the man’s ideas would be too predictable and Tom because he wanted to see Harry struggle.

“Tom, probably,” Draco replied smirking.

This had Harry and Luna laugh in amusement while Tom glared at the three of them.

“I doubt that very much,” he said testily.

“It’ll be me,” Luna told them airily.  
“The Nargels told me so.”

“Huh… Damn…” Harry muttered.

They apparently knew him better than he had hoped they would if they could spot the person he cared the most genuine about. Then again, he had been hanging out with Luna just as much as with Draco, so maybe it had been a simple coin toss and they just so happened to guess the right one.

“Any idea yet how you’ll breath under water?” Tom asked Harry.  
“Karkaroff has been teaching Viktor a Transfiguration Charm to turn him into a shark and Fleur has been practicing the Bubblehead Charm a lot.”

“Same with Cedric, so I’ll need something else,” Harry said.  
“I can’t possible do something that has been done before, after all…”

“Yes, that would be terrible,” Draco muttered sarcastically.

.              .              .               .              .

The morning of the Second Task, everyone found Harry back into his usual antics of making a show at breakfast. Only this time, he wasn’t alone. Harry was on a unicycle, moving around between the tables while little Hayley sat on his shoulders, shrieking in delight as the four miniature dragons flew around her head, hissing protectively at anyone who got too close.

Above everyone’s head was Harley balancing on a tightrope, doing flips, cartwheels and summersaults with even greater ease than Harry had showed on the times he messed around up there. Ivy sat at the Slytherin table, watching with Sirius’ head resting on her lap as she petted him. next to her sat the Joker, who was playing with a deck of cards and doing card tricks for the kids that joined them.

“Follow the Dame of Hearts and win a price!” Joker cackled as a first year sat down across from him.

A 7th year boy sat down next to Ivy and tried to start a conversation, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Sirius lifted his large dog head and growled threateningly, scaring the teen away While Ivy laughed and patted him. Behind her, one of the two sleeping hyenas opened one eye and huffed lazily before falling back asleep.

“Such a cheerful family,” Dumbledore said smiling as he sat down at the teacher’s table.  
“I can see where our Mr. Quinzel has inherited his great entertainment skills.”

Snape sneered annoyed and Karkaroff rolled his eyes, huffing angrily as he glared at the strange and colorful family. Harry just laughed joyfully and lifted Hayley up so she was standing on his shoulders instead of sitting. The almost-three year-old giggled happily and clapped her hands in excitement.

“Stop that this instant!” a very bossy, very annoying and very familiar voice suddenly called out.

Harry stopped and put Hayley back on the ground while Harley jumped down from the high tightrope, landing gracefully on her two feet. Everyone was looking at the pompous redhead staring haughtily at Harry from the entrance to the Great Hall next to Bagman.

“Motherfucking Percy Weasley,” Harry laughed.  
“I had hoped I’d never have to see your face ever again after you graduated.”

Fred and George laughed at the scandalized look on their older brother’s face and Harry grinned wider.

“I’m replacing Mr. Crouch as a judge,” Percy sniffed.  
“So do your best. I will be _utterly_ objective in this.”

“Of course! Everyone knows you’d _always_ chose rules over people,” Harry said, rolling his eyes.  
“You’d even send your entire family to Azkaban if the _Ministry_ told you to. So I guess you’re the perfect replacement for Mr. Crouch. After all, didn’t he do the same thing to his own son?”

Percy paled while the rest of the school stared at Harry in shock or amusement. The tension broke as Harley walked up and hugged her two children close while smiling cheerfully at Percy.

“Hi! Are ya a friend of my baby?” she asked.

“Mom!” Harry whined.  
“Don’t embarrass me like that!”

“Mom, don’t!” Hayley echoed happily.

“Besides, Percy’s not a friend,” Harry muttered pouting.

Harley laughed and nodded her head in understanding.

“Alright! In that case… _Leave my boy alone or I’ll rip you limb from limb._ ”

Percy’s face lost every bit of color it had still left and he stepped back while Harley smiled sweetly at him. having thoroughly freaked Percy and most everyone else out, the blond woman led her two kids to the table to have breakfast with the rest of the family.

.              .              .               .              .

Everyone was already waiting at the Lake for Harry, who had run off somewhere again after breakfast. The crowd was getting nervous in his absence, and many people from the other schools were starting to think the youngest Champion had dropped out of the race. The Hogwarts students knew better. Harry wasn’t the type to give up, especially not after winning the last round.

“Where _is_ he?!” Tom asked annoyed.  
“Did the brat fall asleep again on his way?”

“Does that happen more often?” Draco asked shocked.  
“I thought that only happened during class…”

“Or while thinking up pranks,” Fred added laughing.

“Or after-” George started, but was stopped as Tom slapped a hand over his mouth panicked.

“Or after finishing a prank!” Fred said hurriedly, grinning sheepishly at Joker and Harley.

Joker narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but just shrugged it off and refocused on Hailey while Harley continued her talk with Ivy. Neither of them really noticed something was ‘off’ either because they hadn’t been paying attention or just didn’t care.

The entrance hall contained a few last-minute stragglers, all leaving the Great Hall after breakfast and heading through the double oak doors to watch the second task. They stared as Harry flashed past, sending Colin and Dennis Creevey flying as he leapt down the stone steps and out onto the bright, chilly grounds.

As he pounded down the lawn he saw that the seats that had encircled the dragons’ enclosure in November were now ranged along the opposite bank, rising in stands that were packed to the bursting point and reflected in the lake below. The excited babble of the crowd echoed strangely across the water as Harry ran flat-out around the other side of the lake toward the judges, who were sitting at another gold-draped table at the water’s edge. Cedric, Fleur, and Krum were beside the judges’ table, watching Harry sprint toward them.

“I’m… here…” Harry panted, skidding to a halt in the mud and splattering Fleur’s robes.

“Where have you been?” Percy said in a bossy, disapproving voice.  
“The task’s about to start!”

“I fell asleep,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“I planned just a quick run to get my stuff, but my bed looked so freaking _soft_ …”

“You should really take this more seriously!” Percy scolded annoyed.

“Well, I’m here now! Gosh!” Harry groaned.  
“Besides, it’s not like I _chose_ to be in this fucking thing!”

Dumbledore smiled at Harry, but Karkaroff and Madame Maxime didn’t look at all pleased to see him… It was obvious from the looks on their faces that they had thought he wasn’t going to turn up. Harry smirked at them and waved cheerfully. Dumbledore and Bagman both waved back just as happy while the other three judges glared at him.

“Let’s get to the scuba diving already!” Harry laughed, pulling out a small potion vile.

“Well, all our champions are ready for the second task, which will start on my whistle. They have precisely an hour to recover what has been taken from them. On the count of three, then. One… two… three!”

The whistle echoed shrilly in the cold, still air and the stands erupted with cheers and applause. Without looking to see what the other champions were doing, Harry pulled off his shoes and socks and jugged down the potion. He could feel it working instantly, so, without a second thought, he dove in.

The potion was one Tom and his dad had helped him with. A ‘Species Switching Potion’ of sorts. It needed blood of the species you wanted to change in, so Harry and Tom had secretly lured one of the mermaid in the Lake to come to the surface and killed it. They’d been very careful not to get caught, not even the other mermaids knew what had happened.

It was so cold he felt the skin on his legs searing as though this were fire, not icy water. Harry bit through the cold and swam forward. His robes were kind of pulling him down, so Harry didn’t think twice on pulling it off and continuing on his trek through the icy waters with a little less clothing.

After a few moments, Harry’s legs, hands and throat started to tingle. For a moment, Harry was afraid that he was going to drown, but then the gills sprouted and his legs knitted together to form a tail as webs grew between his fingers. The skin all over his body started prickling shortly after as it grew tiny grey scales and Harry grinned, swimming back up to the surface and jumped in the air like a dolphin, doing a backwards flip.

“Alright!” he yelled before shooting down the water like a bullet.

No spell would be able to keep up with _this_! The water didn’t feel icy anymore either, on the contrary, he felt pleasantly cool and very light. Harry struck out once more, marveling at how far and fast his new tail propelled him through the water, and noticing how clearly he could see, and how he no longer seemed to need to blink. He had soon swum so far into the lake that he could no longer see the bottom. He flipped over and dived into its depths.

Light green weed stretched ahead of him as far as he could see, two feet deep, like a meadow of very overgrown grass. Harry was staring unblinkingly ahead of him, trying to discern shapes through the gloom and then, without warning, something grabbed hold of his tail-fin.

Harry twisted his body around and saw a Grindylow poking out of the weed, its long fingers clutched tightly around Harry’s fin, its pointed fangs bared. Harry’s wand slid right into his hand and he aimed it at the being, grinning widely and baring his own fangs.

_“Reducto!”_

The little water demon flew backward with a loud screech of pain as the water around him turned dark with its blood. Smirking proudly, Harry continued on, swimming deeper and deeper into the Lake.

“How are you getting on?”

Harry thought he was having a heart attack. He whipped around and saw Ginny floating next to him, smiling brightly. Harry chuckled, releasing bubbles instead of sound, making Ginny giggle and reach out to pop one.

“You want to try over there!” she said, pointing.

Harry grinned and gave her a thumbs up before swimming towards where she had pointed.

“By the way, you’re a very handsome merman!” Ginny called after him.

Harry turned around and blew the ghostly girl a kiss, waving one last time before he disappeared between the weeds. Flirting with ghosts was turning out to be useful after all. And Tom thought it was a complete waste of time to befriend Ginny and Myrtle. Hah!

Harry swam on for what had to be about 15 minutes before he heard the singing. He eagerly followed it towards the mermaid village. The Merpeople watched him curiously, but didn’t really bother him, as they probably believed him to be one of them. He definitely looked like one of them at least.

When Harry saw Luna tied up at the bottom of the Lake, he could feel new hate blossom in his chest. Yes, he had already known he’d find her and the others – was that Hermione? Probably Krum’s. She could have him, he wasn’t that good – in this state, he couldn’t help but feel growing resentment towards Dumbledore. What if they couldn’t finish the task?

Logically, it would mean that the people stuck down here would still be saved of course, otherwise it would be murder, but Harry knew wizards weren’t exactly known for their logic, so he really wouldn’t be surprised if they were left down here as Grindylow food. Not that Harry particularly cared about people dying mind you, but he liked Luna – she was his most precious person apparently – and Hermione enough to want to keep them alive for a bit longer and he still hadn’t gotten around to fucking Cho, so he didn’t want her to die on him yet. It seemed Fleur’s most precious person was a little girl – her sister by the looks of it – and Harry wasn’t very keen on killing children either, especially not now that he had a little sister of his own. They deserved a chance to grow up and become corrupted before they should be killed off.

Sighing, Harry started working on getting Luna out, just as Cedric arrived and freed Cho. Harry scowled, glaring bitterly at the older teen’s back, but quickly straightened his expression out when Cedric turned around. The Hufflepuff champion pointed at his watch before pointing upwards, meaning they didn’t have much time left. Harry nodded in understanding.

Viktor Krum, having the head of a shark, came swimming past shortly after and easily bit through the ropes binding Hermione before swimming upwards. Harry looked around himself, scowling at Fleur’s lack of appearance. The quarter-Veela could drown for all he cared, but he didn’t like the thought of the little girl being stuck down here for Chaos knows how long. Besides, he had a reputation as Savior to uphold.

Making a quick decision, he finished cutting Luna’s bonds and letting her float to the surface with a Feather-Light Charm before aiming his wand at the little girl and getting her out with a well-aimed cutting charm. Almost immediately, he was surrounded by Grindylows who grabbed at him. Scowling in annoyance, Harry used a Dark Spell Tom had taught him over the summer. It was one that he had invented himself and it broke nearly every bone of everyone in close proximity of the caster.

Free from the annoying water creatures, Harry swum upwards with the little girl in his arms, reaching the surface along with Luna. Luna was awake again, though she looked very confused. When she saw Harry though, she smiled at him.

“Hello, Harry,” she said airily.

“Hey Luna. Lovely day for a swim, isn’t it?” the teen laughed.

“A bit cold, but I guess it’s alright,” the blonde hummed.

The crowd in the stands was making a great deal of noise; shouting and screaming, they all seemed to be on their feet. Harry grinned and waved before taking Luna and the little girl on his back. With three strong hits of his tail, he reached the Lake’s edge.

Just in time, Harry’s tail disappeared and he was fully human again. He sighed in relief and planted his bare feet in the muddy ground as he let Luna and the other girl back down and the three waded to the shore. Many scandalized gasps could be heard as the crowd realized Harry was completely naked and shivering in cold.

Harry could see Madam Pomfrey fussing over Hermione, Krum, Cedric, and Cho, all of whom were wrapped in thick blankets. Dumbledore and Ludo Bagman stood beaming at Harry and Luna from the bank as they approached. Meanwhile Madame Maxime was trying to restrain Fleur Delacour, who was quite hysterical, fighting tooth and nail to return to the water.

“Gabrielle! _Gabrielle! Is she alive? Is she ’urt?”_

“She’s fine!” Harry tried to tell her, but she didn’t seem to listen as she grabbed the girl in her arms.

Harry’s mom pushed past everyone, holding a large flashy green fleece blanket in her hands and she threw it over Harry’s shoulders. Draco walked next to her, holding a second, baby blue blanket which he wrapped around Luna.

“There’s my baby! I was getting’ worried!” Harley cried out, hugging Harry.

“You came third, kid,” Joker said as he pushed through the crowd.

“Meh. I was still first in the other Task,” Harry reminded him shrugging.  
“I can still win this shit if I put in some effort. You’ll see!”

“A conference before we give the marks, I think,” Dumbledore spoke up.

The judges went into a huddle. Madam Pomfrey had pulled Luna towards the others and gave her some Pepper-Up Potion, then went to fetch Fleur and her sister. Fleur had many cuts on her face and arms and her robes were torn, but she didn’t seem to care, nor would she allow Madam Pomfrey to clean them.

“Look after Gabrielle,” she told her, and then she turned to Harry.  
“You saved ’er. Even though she was not your ’ostage.”

Harry smiled and opened his mouth, but was stopped as he heard Hailey call his name and run up to him. Harry laughed and pulled his little sis in an embrace.

“Cold!” the girl shrieked, struggling.

“I’ve got a little sister too,” Harry told Fleur as he tickled Hailey a little, making her shriek and giggle loudly.  
“I don’t know what I would do if she ended up like that. I couldn’t do that to you.”

“How noble,” Tom drawled smirking as he wrapped an arm around Fleur’s waist.  
“It’s good to see that this Tournament doesn’t create violence and hatred between the schools.”

Just then, Ludo Bagman’s magically magnified voice boomed out beside them, making them all jump, and causing the crowd in the stands to go very quiet.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our decision. Merchieftainess Murcus has told us exactly what happened at the bottom of the lake, and we have therefore decided to award marks out of fifty for each of the champions, as follows…”

Harry swallowed nervously and looked up at his parents with a fearful expression. Joker scowled and nodded his head in understanding. Harry may have done things down there that weren’t completely ‘acceptible’ and they should be ready to explain.

“Fleur Delacour, though she demonstrated excellent use of the Bubble-Head Charm, was attacked by Grindylows as she approached her goal, and failed to retrieve her hostage. We award her twenty-five points.”

Applause from the stands.

“I deserved zero,” said Fleur throatily, shaking her head.

Harry couldn’t keep a chuckle in as Tom kissed her cheeks and gently told her she had done everything she could and that he was proud of her. Such a kiss-up. They both thought she deserved zero too.

“Cedric Diggory, who also used the Bubble-Head Charm, was first to return with his hostage, though he returned one minute outside the time limit of an hour. We therefore award him forty-seven points.”

Outside the time-limit, and he had been the first one to get out of the water. Enormous cheers from the Hufflepuffs in the crowd. Harry saw Cho give Cedric a glowing look and all cheer was immediately gone from his face. He’d have her eventually, he’d make sure of that.

“Viktor Krum used an incomplete form of Transfiguration, which was nevertheless effective, and was second to return with his hostage. We award him forty points.”

Karkaroff clapped particularly hard, looking very superior.

“Harry Potter/Quinzel used an undetermined potion to great effect,” Bagman continued.  
“He returned last, and well outside the time limit of an hour. However, the Merchieftainess informs us that Mr. Potter was first to reach the hostages, and that the delay in his return was due to his determination to return all hostages to safety, not merely his own.”

“Most of the judges feel that this shows moral fiber and merits full marks,” Bagman said and gave Karkaroff a very nasty look.  
“However… Mr. Potter’s score is forty-five points.”

The crowd broke into loud applause. Thanks to his score in the First Task, he was still in first place, just one point ahead of Cedric. That was good. He could definitely work with that. Fleur was clapping very hard too, and so was Cedric. The only one that didn’t look all that happy was Krum, but he still gave a thin-lipped smile and nodded at Harry. He wouldn’t dare go against Tom’s cousin after all. Harry grinned and looked up as his dad pulled him in for a hug.

“Second place aint that bad I guess,” the Clown Prince of Crime whispered in his ear.

“No, but I doubt I heard the last of what happened down there,” Harry muttered back, nodding towards Dumbledore, who was staring intently at him.

Joker’s arms around Harry tightened and he rested his chin on the teen’s shoulder, puffing out a little chuckle. Harry closed his eyes as he felt his dad’s Dark aura surround him. He always felt dizzy when he got to feel it this close. It was amazing and powerful and it made Harry flush in exhilaration.

“You can handle the old fool,” Joker replied grinning.  
“You said so yourself. You’ve got him wrapped around your pretty little finger. Keep him wrapped up.”

 “Like a mummy,” Harry promised darkly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely not my best work. I had a lot of trouble figuring out what to do with the Second Task, and eventually just went with this. It’s not very special, I know, but at least I was able to update again! It’ll be a bit of a wait for the next chapter, but it will come eventually.


	79. Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back!  
> The tests went a lot better than I expected. Seriously, there was such a big fuss about it beforehand where my parents freaked out over whether or not I should even do it because it was extremely exhausting to the point that I might not recover from it for months.  
> What did put me down, however, were the pills. They made me super tired and a bit sick and I couldn’t sleep (still can’t, but I have pills for that now too) I got used to them now though and I already feel better.  
> Updates will still be a little slower than usual, since I’m still properly recovering, but I hope to have them back up to several times a week soon!  
> Thank you everyone for your support and your patience! It really means a lot to me.

Harry knocked on the door of the Headmaster’s Office. It had been only two days since the Second Task and Harry had been anticipating being called in. He’d worked out what to do, or not, actually, since he eventually decided to just go with his gut and wing it. After all, Dumbledore was too unpredictable to make a proper plan.

“Ah, Harry, my boy,” Dumbledore greeted jovially.  
“Glad you could make time for a visit. Lemon Drop?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Harry replied grinning, sitting down across from his Headmaster.  
“But I don’t think you brought me here for tea and crumpets, right?”

Dumbledore chuckled and pushed the candy bowl towards Harry. The pink haired teen clapped his hands and giggled childishly as he took one and popped it into his mouth. He could taste the Calming Draught, but Harry had a while ago discovered that he didn’t react to them the way he was supposed to. His dad suspected it had to do with the serum his aunt Ivy had given him. He actually got a bit hyper-active from them…

“The mermaids have made me aware of… certain actions in the Lake,” Dumbledore started slowly.

Harry hummed and popped another lemon drop in his mouth. he shuffled around in his seat a little, already feeling them work. Or not work, he supposed, considering what they were _supposed_ to do. Dumbledore sighed and laced his fingers together under his chin.

“Harry. They say you used extreme violence against the Grindylows,” the old man said.  
“They made some serious accusations. They say several died when they tried to stop you.”

“I panicked, sir,” Harry replied chuckling, shrugging in a bored manner.

“This is very serious, Harry,” Dumbledore reminded the teen gravely.  
“You could be facing murder charges if I come forth. Murder of a Beast, but murder none the less.”

Harry’s face turned blank instantly.

“And I’ll be send home to be ‘cared for’,” he said calmly.  
“My hometown’s got a very nice Asylum that’s waiting to get their hands on another crazy. And they’ve got some experience with wizards and other metahumans.”

This made Dumbledore frown.

“You were in an Asylum?” he asked shocked.

“Hell no!” Harry laughed.  
“I’ve been visiting a lot of psychiatrists and stuff though! My mom’s one, but she has me visit others for a ‘objective view’, that’s all. I’ve got… how did they call it again? Borderline Disorder. I have violent outbursts… and a short attentions span- Hey! You got a Phoenix! That’s so cool!”

He jumped up giggling happily and skipped over to where Dumbledore’s Phoenix was seated. The bird thrilled happily and allowed Harry to pet him, making the teen giggle cutely.

“Harry…” Dumbledore sighed again.

“My problems are being taken care of, Albus,” Harry said.  
“I can call you Albus, right? You said so in our last meeting… which reminds me! You are due for another session! Let’s have that now.”

“Harry, I don’t think now is the time to-” Dumbledore started.

“Nonsense! Now is the perfect time!” Harry said cheerfully, walking over again.  
“We talked about my problems, but I’m just a student with professional help. _You_ are Headmaster! Your issues reflect on the entire school.”

Dumbledore sighed and leaned back in his seat.

“I suppose you’re right,” he muttered reluctantly.

Harry chuckled. The Headmaster was pouting like a child.

“Very well. Let’s do the word game!” Harry said, clapping his hands together.  
“I’ll say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Can you do that?”

“I think I can manage,” the old man chuckled.

Harry grinned and pulled out a notebook and a ballpoint pen.

“Alright! Let’s start, then,” Harry grinned.  
“We’ll start with an easy one. School.”

“Friends,” Dumbledore replied instantly, smiling.

“Interesting…” Harry mumbled, penning down the answer.  
“Let’s move on… Students.”

“Happiness,” Dumbledore said instantly.

“Hatred,” Harry said.

“Love.”

“Love?”

“Magic!”

Harry hummed and wrote them down on his notebook.

“War.”

“The Greater Good,” Dumbledore sighed sadly.

Now they were getting to the interesting things.

“Would you like to elaborate?” Harry asked curiously.  
“After all, wasn’t ‘For The Greater Good’ Grindelwald’s thing?”

“I’d rather not talk about that,” Dumbledore sighed miserable.

“Very well. We’ll circle back to that once you’re ready,” Harry agreed in a professional tone.

He penned down ‘ _Buttsex with Grindelwald’_ under ‘ _War – Greater Good’_ and continued with the next question.

“Evil,” Harry said, looking straight at Dumbledore.

“Voldemort,” the man answered instantly.

“Dark.”

“Gellert.”

Interesting. Harry chuckled and wrote the answers down before looking back up.

“Handsome,” he said.

“Gellert,” Dumbledore replied.

“Betrayal.”

“Gellert.”

“Lover.”

“Gellert.”

“Sex?”

“Gel- Adult content.”

Harry laughed and put the notebook down on his lap.

“I said the first thing that comes to mind, Albus,” he scolded amused.

“I think we’re done for today, dear boy,” Dumbledore said calmly.  
“We’ve been talking for quite a while. I’m sure you want to go back to your friends now.”

Harry shrugged and closed the little notebook, putting it back in his pocket along with the pen. He wondered how his dad would react to finding all those words written in _his_ notebook too. He’d probably get a message soon with a question.

Just as he stood up, there was a knock on the door and Snape entered the room. The man’s eyes landed almost instantly on Harry and they narrowed at the innocently smiling teen. Harry giggled at the suspicious glare he received and waved cheerfully at his Head of House.

“Severus! How good of you to drop by,” Dumbledore said.  
“And just in time too. Harry here was just leaving, but I’m sure he can stay a bit longer.”

“Why?” Snape asked annoyed.

“Because I fear we have some things to discuss,” Dumbledore replied gravely.

He pulled out the latest copy of the Daily Prophet, making Harry grin widely. He’d already read it of course. Rita Skeeter had done a great job not only painting _him_ off as a hero for having ‘saved’ Fleur’s little sister, but she’d also, for the third time, done an article on Snape’s reign of terror in the classroom. The second one had been shortly after Yule, when Snape had shouted at Harry to come down from the chandelier and how he didn’t care if Harry died falling.

“This again,” Snape asked sourly, picking up the paper.  
“We all know that Skeeter woman likes to lay it on too thick.”

“Still. This gives the school bad publicity,” Dumbledore said.  
“I fear that I have no other choice but send you to my therapist. He’ll help you.”

This had Harry grin widely. He immediately pulled out his notebook again, chuckling as he saw that his dad had already written back.

_[What the hell, kid?]_

_[I’m Dumbledore’s therapist. And now I’m Snape’s too. We’ll talk after.]_

_[Fine. Drive them insane, alright?]_

_[With pleasure.]_

“So,” Harry started, looking at Snape with a very professional expression.  
“Severus – I can call you Severus, right? It’s just the three of us here after all.”

“You cannot,” Snape sneered, glaring at Harry.

“Very well,” Harry sighed, writing down _‘stubborn fucker’_ in his book.  
“Usually issues like yours have a deep connection with the childhood. So tell me, Severus, did your parents love you?”

“This is utterly ridiculous!” the Potions Master raged.

“And yet so necessary,” Dumbledore replied.  
“Work with us here, Severus. We only want to help.”

“Indeed,” Harry agreed.  
“Now tell me about your mother…”

.              .              .               .              .

It was already the end of May by the time Tom pulled Harry to the side, urging that they should _really_ get on with their plans on resurrecting Voldemort.

“You’ve been avoiding this for months now, Harry. I’d almost think you didn’t want him back,” Tom hissed darkly.

“I’ve just been busy!” Harry replied annoyed.

That was true of course. He and the twins had been _very_ busy with pranking Snape and Karkaroff and Harry had even helped Peeves steal Madam Maxime’s earrings. It had been hilarious to see the giant woman explode like that, especially after Harry told her that Peeves actually looked better in them.

Aside from pranking, Harry had also continued his ‘job’ as Dumbledore’s therapist and even had four more forced sessions with Snape until the man had exploded and tried to hex Harry. _That_ had resulted in a _very_ interesting article in the Daily Prophet. Rita Skeeter had even titled it **_‘HOGWARTS TEACHER TRIES TO KILL HARRY POTTER/QUINZEL’_**. After that, Dumbledore suggested Harry would take private Potion lessons from another teacher, but Harry had declined, saying that Snape wouldn’t dare attack him in a busy classroom.

The best part though, was that Snape had received a lot of hate-mail after that. For two weeks straight, Snape received a Howler on an almost daily basis and Dumbledore was being pressured to fire the Potions Master.

In light of that, Harry offered a private interview with Rita Skeeter where he openly forgave Snape and admitted to wanting to build a better relationship with his teacher. He even went so far as saying that he really admired Snape’s skill and that he strived to be just like him one day… minus the poor social skills. This resulted in a saint-like reputation for Harry and at this point, the entire Wizarding Community adored him.

To add to all that, Operation Cedric was still full on going too. He hadn’t slept with the guy anymore, but he did flirt with him a lot. He had befriended Cho as well and often hung out with the two of them and their friends, much to the chagrin of the Hufflepuffs, who saw Harry mainly as Cedric’s rival instead of his friend. At least Cedric had told them all off for insulting Harry.

Harry was doing so well that Cho even confided in him when she started to suspect Cedric cheated on her. He’d reacted horrified when she admitted to having doubts, saying that Cedric was too nice of a guy to ever do such a thing, but later admitted to having noticed him sneaking around a little too suspiciously.

All in all, a busy couple of months.

“This is _important_ , Harry!” Tom growled.  
“We need to know Voldemort’s location if we want to do this right!”

“Fine,” Harry sighed bored.  
“We’ll visit ‘Moody’ after classes, alright?”

Tom nodded and walked away again, leaving Harry on his own in his room. It was almost time for breakfast, so he probably should be getting up too…

.              .              .               .              .

The start of the summer term would normally have meant that Harry was training hard for the last Quidditch match of the season. This year, however, it was the third and final task in the Triwizard Tournament for which he needed to prepare. He was aware that none of the other Champions knew yet what it was going to be, but Harry was extremely lucky to have Crouch Jr. on his side. The man had told him three weeks after the Second Task what the Third one would be.

Harry sat through all his classes the way he usually did. With a lot of messing around and a lot of threats of detention. By the end of it, he had only lost 10 points, which meant he had been behaving pretty well. Still, as he packed his stuff together in Transfiguration, which happened to be the last class of the day, Professor McGonagall held him back.

“I swear the self-flying paper plane wasn’t mine!” Harry said instantly.

McGonagall just raised her brow skeptically and sighed.

“You are to go down to the Quidditch field tonight at nine o’clock, Quinzel,” she told him.  
“Mr. Bagman will be there to tell the champions about the third task.”

“Oh,” Harry said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.  
“Sure! I can do that! Thanks for the heads up, Professor!”

With that, he bolted out of the classroom and towards the Great Hall, where the first students were already filing in for dinner. Harry took his usual spot in between Draco and Blaise and started a cheerful conversation with his friends. A bit further on the table sat Tom with the other Durmstrang students. The older teen glanced over from time to time, catching the pink haired boy’s eye and the two would grin at each other. Everything was still going exactly as planned.

After dinner, Harry and Luna visited Myrtle’s bathroom and they hung around with the two girl spirits for a little while before Harry had to say goodbye and walked to ‘Moody’s office, where Tom was already waiting for him.

“You’re late,” the older teen scolded.

Harry smirked and shrugged instead of answering and sat down on the couch next to his ‘cousin’ while Crouch sat at his desk in his Moody disguise, writing letters to the Ministry in his father’s handwriting.

“I’m a busy guy,” Harry said lazily.  
“Besides, I’m here now, right?”

“And in an hour and a half you’re already expected at the Quidditch field,” Tom pointed out.

“Eh. Time enough for this.”

That had Crouch look up from his work and he turned to watch the two teens warily.

“Time enough for what?” he asked suspiciously.

“Having a nice chat with you,” Tom replied smoothly.

The man was instantly on edge. Sure, Harry and Tom hadn’t done anything to him yet, but the teens had threatened him more than once. He knew they were a lot more than they appeared to be.

“A chat about what?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Uncle Voldy of course!” Harry laughed.  
“Where is he hiding out, exactly?”

“Why would you want to know where the Dark Lord is hiding?” Crouch wanted to know.  
“If you get to the Cup first, you’ll be transported there instantly anyway.”

“But _I_ won’t,” Tom told him.  
“And they’ll need me there.”

“I can go in your place easily,” Crouch said frowning.

This had Harry and Tom look at each other and they laughed for a few moments.

“No, you can’t!” Harry cackled.  
“How do you think everyone will react if a teacher disappeared on a moment like that?”

“My schoolmates won’t think twice about providing me with a solid alibi,” Tom said smirking.  
“Even the Slytherins would do so gladly under Harry’s command. I _need_ to be there when Voldemort is resurrected. I _deserve_ it.”

Crouch sighed and leaned back in his seat, looking at the two of them.

“Little Hangleton,” he said.  
“It will take place at the Graveyard.”

“Good,” Tom said, nodding satisfied.  
“I’ll go there before the Third Task starts and wait for Harry and Diggory’s arrival.”

“Nothing will stop us from winning either,” Harry said grinning.  
“Our family is more than eager to get some action. They’ll be helping out.”

.              .              .               .              .

At half past eight that night, Harry left Tom and Crouch in Moody’s office, talking some more on the details of their plan, and went downstairs. As he crossed the entrance hall, Cedric came up from the Hufflepuff common room.

“What do you reckon it’s going to be?” he asked Harry as they went together down the stone steps, out into the cloudy night.  
“Fleur keeps going on about underground tunnels. She reckons we’ve got to find treasure.”

Harry chuckled and shrugged. It was sort of right, he guessed. Not the tunnels part, but the treasure. They had to find the Triwizard Cup inside a giant Maze. Naturally, he didn’t tell Cedric as much though. He’d find out soon enough.

They walked down the dark lawn to the Quidditch stadium, turned through a gap in the stands, and walked out onto the field.

“What’ve they done to it?” Cedric asked indignantly, stopping dead in his tracks.

The Quidditch field was no longer smooth and flat. It looked as though somebody had been building long, low walls all over it that twisted and crisscrossed in every direction.

“They’re hedges!” Harry laughed, bending to examine the nearest one.

“Hello there!” Ludo Bagman called out cheerfully.

He was standing in the middle of the field with Krum and Fleur. Harry and Cedric made their way toward them, climbing over the hedges. Fleur beamed at Harry as he came nearer. Her attitude toward him had changed completely since he had saved her sister from the lake.

“Well, what do you think?” Bagman asked happily as Harry and Cedric climbed over the last hedge.  
“Growing nicely, aren’t they? Give them a month and Hagrid will have them twenty feet high.”

Harry scowled in displeasure. He knew this was going to happen, but it was still a blow to his Quidditch-loving side to his precious pitch like this. Next to him, Cedric obviously felt the same way.

“Don’t worry,” Bagman added grinning, spotting the less-than-happy expressions on Harry’s and Cedric’s faces.  
“You’ll have your Quidditch field back to normal once the task is over! Now, I imagine you can guess what we’re making here?”

“A Maze,” Krum grunted.

“That’s right!” Bagman said excitedly.  
“A maze. The third task’s really very straightforward. The Triwizard Cup will be placed in the center of the maze. The first champion to touch it will receive full marks.”

“We seemply ’ave to get through the maze?” Fleur asked surprised.

“There will be obstacles,” Bagman replied happily, bouncing on the balls of his feet.  
“Hagrid is providing a number of creatures… then there will be spells that must be broken… all that sort of thing, you know. Now, the champion who is leading on points will get a head start into the maze.”

Bagman grinned at Harry.

“Then it’s Mr. Diggory’s turn, followed by Mr. Krum and Miss Delacour. But you’ll all be in with a fighting chance, depending how well you get past the obstacles. Should be fun, eh?”

Harry’s grin returned tenfold.

“Looks like we’re all going to have **_a hell of a time_** ,” he said darkly.

 


	80. The Third Task

“Morning, Harry.”

The pink haired teen groaned and turned around in his big bed, blinking tiredly at the other male smiling down at him with a grin too bright for that early in the morning.

“Mornin’, Ced,” he replied drowsily.

“Big day today,” the older Champion mumbled.

“I know,” Harry yawned, stretching out on the bed like a cat.  
“Third Task. Playing fucking hide and seek in a big Maze. Fun.”

Cedric chuckled amused and pulled Harry in for a kiss. The younger teen closed his eyes before he could slip up and roll them in annoyance. Cedric was a nice guy, but that was the problem here. He was way too innocent, naïve and gentle. It was boring.

“No hard feelings whoever wins, right?” Cedric asked as they parted again.

“I can never be angry at you, you know that,” Harry replied smiling.  
“Actually, I don’t really want to do this, but I guess we don’t really have a choice, huh?”

Cedric sighed sadly and pulled Harry into his arms, letting you younger teen rest his head on his naked chest.

“I’m going to break up with Cho,” he confessed.

Harry had to fight to keep the nasty smirk from his face as he hummed and nodded. He looked up at Cedric with big, innocent eyes and a sweet smile. He could feel the Hufflepuff’s heartbeat pick up at the look and he kissed his neck playfully.

“For me?” he asked innocently.

“Yeah,” Cedric breathed.  
“I’ll do it after the Tournament.”

Harry giggled and snuggled further into Cedric’s embrace.

“I’m happy,” he sighed.  
“Oh! I have an idea!”

He sat up and grinned brightly, making the older teen raise an amused brow at him.

“What is it?” Cedric asked curiously.

“We should win together!” Harry exclaimed excitedly.  
“We’ll look for each other in the Maze and finish this together! As a team!”

Cedric smiled and kissed Harry’s temple.

“Alright. Let’s win together,” he agreed.

.              .              .               .              .

Breakfast was a very noisy affair at the Great Hall that morning. The post owls appeared, bringing Harry a good-luck card from the Riddler. It was written in a riddle, but Harry appreciated it all the same. A screech owl arrived for Draco, carrying him the morning copy of the Daily Prophet as usual. He unfolded the paper, glanced at the front page, and grinned.

“You made the front page again, Quinn,” he said, handing Harry the paper.

**_GOOD LUCK HARRY QUINN!_ **

_Today, the Triwizard Tournament will come to a close, my dear readers! Yes, this evening the Third Task will start and the winner of the Tournament will finally be known. Now, I don’t know about you all, but I, Rita Skeeter, am rooting for our very own Boy Who Lived. Yes, none other than Harry Potter/Quinzel!_

_In our latest conversation, the fourteen year old Slytherin student with the by now famous brightly colored hair admitted his own fear for this last Task._

_“This will be the hardest one,” Harry confided to me in our last interview. “This is where the real skill and knowledge will come into play. I’ve been very lucky so far. I even finished in first place somehow! But now I’ll have to race against the others in an unfamiliar place. I don’t really see how I could make a chance against three much more experienced Champions.”_

_As understandable as his nerves are, I have faith in Harry! He’s a brave and kind boy and from his teachers I have heard that he is an intelligent child, even if he isn’t exactly a model student. Even Severus Snape, who seems to continue his personal mission of making young Harry’s life more miserable, had to admit that he has a talent for potions very few can claim to have._

_I also asked Harry about his name, as he seems to have quite a few of those and which one he prefers personally. I know that many of you readers have wondered about this as much as I have._

_“I’m still Harry Potter in the Hogwarts registers, but since my adoption when I was six, my official name is Hadrian Quinzel,” Harry told me. “The teachers and I have agreed that on official documents, we’d both use Potter/Quinzel, but personally, I prefer Harry Quinn, or just Quinn.”_

_So, there you have it folks! Let’s all wish Harry Quinn the best of luck!_

“Aww!” Fred said grinning.

Harry looked over his shoulder and saw both Weasley twins leaning over his back, reading along. The pink haired teen chuckled and shook his head amused. He was about to reply when he noticed Cedric walking into the Great Hall. The older teen had first gone off to the Hufflepuff common room to get ready for the day. Harry grinned and waved and Cedric grinned back. He looked to be ready to walk up to Harry, but was intercepted by Cho, who looked very unhappy.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Harry mumbled, handing the paper back to Draco as he got up.

He slowly approached the ‘loving’ couple curiously.

“-I went to visit you last night, but you weren’t there!” Cho hissed at Cedric.

“What were you doing visiting the Hufflepuff common room anyway?” Cedric asked scowling.

Cho blushed brightly and looked away, noticing Harry. His presence only made her turn redder and she bit her lip shyly.

“I-I wanted to see you,” she mumbled.  
“I wanted to wish you luck today…”

Harry raised his brow and grinned. He knew what _that_ meant. Cedric looked incredibly guilty at that.

“Cho…” he sighed.

He was going to spill the beans, Harry realized annoyed. If he wanted to prevent this, he should step in, so that was what he did.

“Everything alright?” he asked worried, stepping closer.  
“Ced. Your parents just arrived I think. They’re waiting for you in the backroom.”

That was where the families were supposed to meet their kids, but Harry’s family was different. They had issues with following rules of pretty much any kind. Even the laws of nature, now that he thought about it.

“Uh… thanks, Harry,” Cedric said, smiling weakly.  
“I’ll talk to you after the Tournament, Cho. I promise.”

With that, Cedric walked away, leaving Harry and Cho behind without looking back. Cho sighed tiredly and rubbed her face. Harry walked up to her, styling his face in a worried expression.

“Are you alright?” he asked.  
“What was that all about anyway?”

“I went to see Cedric last night, but they said he told them he was staying the night with me,” Cho muttered upset.

Harry’s eyes widened.

“Holy shit!” he exclaimed.  
“You know… I bet he has a good reason for all of this. This whole Tournament is really stressful, you know. Just give him some space and talk it out tomorrow. I’m sure we’re just making a big deal out of nothing.”

“You’re probably right,” Cho mumbled reluctantly.  
“Thank you Harry. You always know what to say-”

“Baby!”

Harry shouted in shock as he was tackle-hugged from behind by his mother. The pink haired teen laughed excitedly and turned around to hug her back.

“Hi!” Hailey shouted, running up too.

She was wearing a bright pink tutu and her hair was dyed silver on the right side and green on the left. He was holding the blue bunny plush Harry had given her for her birthday two months ago in her tiny arms. Harry grinned and picked her up once Harley let go of him.

“Hey there, princess!” he greeted happily.  
“You look prettier every time I see you!”

The girl giggled and hugged him back. The Joker was standing back together with the hyenas, Ivy and Padfoot. Harry grinned and waved at them.

“Ready for the big day, kiddo?” his dad asked him, grinning darkly.

“More than ready,” Harry replied smirking.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry spend his entire day fooling around with his family, introducing them to Peeves, Myrtle and Ginny as he gave them a full tour of the school. Hailey especially took a liking to Peeves and the Poltergeist took a pleasure in picking up the little girl and zooming around the room, popping out tiny jets of fireworks and blowing raspberries, making her giggle and shriek in delight.

After a while, the entire family retired to the Chamber of Secrets, leaving Ginny horror struck at first as Joker hissed at the entrance, but when Harry promised an explanation, she smiled and nodded in understanding.

“You know your secrets are safe with me, Harry,” she said cheerfully.

Harry winked at her and blew her a kiss before following his parents down. They stayed there until Lunch, talking through the plans for that day. After eating and giving a little circus show to the other students, the entire family retired to the black lake where Harry and his dad held a stone-skipping contest. The loser had to take a swig of Firewhiskey. After an hour, Harley made them stop because Harry was getting too drunk.

“I guess you’ll have coffee at dinner, kid. HAH!” Joker laughed.

“Should you really be teaching my Godson to drink?” Ivy asked annoyed.

“He’s taught it himself,” the Joker shrugged.  
“Caught him in the liquor cabinet when he was eight.”

“You didn’t lock it,” Harry replied grinning.

“I did, but I was teaching you lock-picking at the time.”

Harry laughed and sat down next to Ivy and Padfoot. He petted the large black dog for a bit, making Padfoot pant happily and press his wet snout into Harry’s hand.

“I’m a good student,” he mumbled.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry and his family whiled away the afternoon with a long walk around the castle, and then returned to the Great Hall for the evening feast. Ludo Bagman and Cornelius Fudge had joined the staff table now. Harry had already heard from Crouch that Percy wouldn’t be around anymore since they had found Senior’s body. Apparently, he was being interrogated about the letters he had been receiving.

There were more courses than usual and Harry enjoyed trying out everything. It was even funnier when Hailey started crying after she accidentally ate an asparagus. As the enchanted ceiling overhead began to fade from blue to a dusky purple, Dumbledore rose to his feet at the staff table, and silence fell.

“Ladies and gentlemen, in five minutes’ time, I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch field for the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Will the champions please follow Mr. Bagman down to the stadium now.”

Harry got up, the Slytherins and his family all along the table were applauding him half the students he passed wished him good luck and he headed off out of the Great Hall with Cedric, Fleur, and Viktor. Cedric smiled at him and fell back, walking next to Harry. This made the pink haired teen grin and he winked at the older Hufflepuff. He was so adorable trusting it almost hurt Harry, but good guys died every day. People like Cedric weren’t going to make it far. Harry was doing him a favor by keeping him from finding out how the real world worked.

They walked onto the Quidditch field, which was now completely unrecognizable. A twenty-foot-high hedge ran all the way around the edge of it. The entrance to the vast maze was right in front of them. The passage beyond it looked dark and creepy. Harry couldn’t wait until he could go in there. From the corner of his eyes, he could see a large dog sneaking through a hole in the large hedge that wasn’t supposed to be there and closed again behind the animal. Ivy and Sirius were in place.

Five minutes later, the stands had begun to fill. The air was full of excited voices and the rumbling of feet as the hundreds of students filed into their seats. Hagrid, Professor Moody, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Flitwick came walking into the stadium and approached Bagman and the champions. They were wearing large, red, luminous stars on their hats, all except Hagrid, who had his on the back of his moleskin vest.

“We are going to be patrolling the outside of the maze,” Professor McGonagall told the champions.  
“If you get into difficulty, and wish to be rescued, send red sparks into the air, and one of us will come and get you, do you understand?”

The champions nodded.

“Off you go, then!” said Bagman brightly to the four patrollers.

Once the four patrollers were gone, Bagman pointed his wand at his throat, muttered, ‘ _Sonorus’_ and his magically magnified voice echoed into the stands.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Third and final Task of the Triwizard Tournament is about to begin! Let me remind you how the points currently stand! In first place, with eighty-six points, Mr. Harry Potter/Quinzel, of Hogwarts School!”

The cheers and applause sent birds from the Forbidden Forest fluttering into the darkening sky.

“In second place, with eighty-five is Mr. Diggory, also of Hogwarts School! In third place, with eighty points, Mr. Viktor Krum, of Durmstrang Institute! And in fourth place, Miss Fleur Delacour, of Beauxbatons Academy!”

Up at the top of the large bleachers sat Harry’s parents and little sister between his friends. Every single one standing up and cheering loudly.

“So on my whistle, Harry!” Bagman said loudly.

He gave a short blast on his whistle and Harry hurried forward into the maze. The towering hedges cast black shadows across the path, and, whether because they were so tall and thick or because they had been enchanted, the sound of the surrounding crowd was silenced the moment they entered the maze. Harry felt almost as though he were underwater again.

 _“Lumos,”_ Harry muttered as he pulled out his wand.

He heard Bagman’s whistle for the second time. Cedric had entered the maze, making Harry speed up. He’d promised to win together with Ced, and it was necessary for his plan that he did, but that didn’t mean they should be hanging out together the entire time. He wanted to have fun with the beasties inside the Maze first…

As he walked on, he heard the whistle two more times, meaning now all the Champions were in the Maze. He should really start getting towards the Cup now. Or maybe find Cedric. Too bad he hadn’t found any beasts yet…

The path ahead was empty too, and when Harry reached a right turn and took it, he again found his way unblocked. Harry didn’t know why, but the lack of obstacles was unnerving him. Surely he should have met something by now? It felt as though the maze were luring him into a false sense of security.

Then he heard movement right behind him. He held out his wand, ready to attack and found himself facing a Blast-Ended Skrewt. It was about ten feet long, it looked more like a giant scorpion than anything. Its long sting was curled over its back. Its thick armor glinted in the light from Harry’s wand. He used the same Curse he’d used in the Lake to get rid of the Grindylows. It didn’t seem to work though, as this thing was much tougher than the water demons. He was almost attacked by it, but it was blasted away by a powerful Reductor Curse from behind Harry. The pink haired teen turned around and grinned as he saw Sirius standing there.

“You really like risky things, don’t you?” the man chuckled.

Harry laughed and shrugged his shoulders with a lazy grin.

“I like to hurt things,” he replied calmly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something when a sudden cold ran through the corridor. The man’s eyes widened in horror and instantly, he changed back into his dog form. Just in time too, as a Dementor rounded a corner moments later. It shifted its shape as it crossed by Harry instead and within seconds, Batman loomed over him threateningly.

“Heh. A Boggart,” Harry chuckled, lifting his wand.  
_“Riddikulus!”_

There was a loud crack, and the shape-shifter exploded in a wisp of smoke. Harry turned to look at Padfoot, who was shivering behind him with his tail between his legs.

“Such a hero,” he sneered before walking on.

Sirius yipped apologetically and scurried after him. They roamed around for a little while until they encountered a dead end. Harry turned back, took a right turn when a scream somewhere ahead of him shattered the silence.

“Sounds like Fleur,” Harry told Sirius.  
“I hope we don’t meet her though. If I come past her, I’ll have to ‘save’ her and I don’t feel like playing hero right now.”

He paused at a junction of two paths and looked around for some sign of Fleur. He was sure it had been she who had screamed. What had she come across? There was no sign of red sparks — did that mean she had got herself out of trouble, or was she in so much of it that she couldn’t reach her wand? Harry shrugged and took the right fork. _‘One champion down, one to go.’_

Sirius put his snout in the air and barked excitedly, making Harry grin. The cup was somewhere close by. All he needed to do was fin Cedric and then the _real_ fun could start…

He met nothing for ten minutes, but kept running into dead ends. Twice he took the same wrong turning. Finally, he found a new route and started to jog along it. Then he rounded another corner and found himself facing an Acromantula. He gasped and squealed in delight, jumping up and down in excitement. The giant spider clicked its jaws nervously before turning around and scurrying away.

“No! I wanna play!” Harry shouted giggling, running after it.

Large jets of fire blasted from the tip of his wand as he chased after the Acromantula, which shrieked in pain as the flames licked at its crooked, hairy legs. Harry laughed maniacally and send a blasting curse at the beast, breaking three of its legs and making it fall down with a heavy ‘thump’. Grinning, Harry approached.

“Don’t you worry! I know how to heal that!” Harry said cheerfully.  
“You know, I learned how to create healing fire! Want to see? I bet you do!”

The spider seemed to quiver as it tried to get back up. Harry would have none of that, though, as he waved his wand around eagerly.

_“Fiendfyre!”_

The spider was quickly engulfed in the hungry maw of a fire hyena Harry had conjured.

“See? You don’t feel _any_ pain anymore,” he said cheerfully, grinning at the ash that was all that remained of the Acromantula.

“How many of their colony have you killed already?” Sirius asked panting.

“Dunno. Three dozen? Maybe four? I don’t keep count.”

“Harry? Harry!” Cedric’s voice suddenly rang out.

Sirius instantly turned back into Padfoot and slinked off into the darkness right before Cedric turned a corner and walked into Harry’s field of vision. Harry grinned at the confused scowl on the older boy’s face as he saw the smoking pile of ash.

“What happened here?” he asked curiously.

“I saw an Acromantula and panicked.”

Cedric chuckled and gave Harry a mock stern glare.

“I saw you chasing at least ten of them last year, Harry,” he said.  
“You’re not scared of them at all. You like hunting them.”

“Teachers are bad promise-keepers,” Harry pouted at the memory of that.

This had Cedric laugh even harder. He walked up to Harry and gently took the younger’s face in his hands, kissing Harry’s lips with a sweetness that almost made Harry gag.

“Let’s go find that Cup, alright?” Cedric suggested smiling.

“Let’s win together,” Harry agreed grinning, grabbing Cedric’s hand in his.

The two of them proceeded up the dark path without speaking. They continued to hold hands as they continued on their way through the Maze. Every so often they hit more dead ends, but the increasing darkness made him feel sure he was getting near the heart of the Maze. Then, as he strode down a long, straight path, he saw movement once again, and his beam of wandlight hit an extraordinary creature, one which he had only seen in picture form, in his Monster Book of Monsters.

“It’s a Sphynx,” Cedric said awed.

“You are very near your goal. The quickest way is past me,” the sphynx spoke softly.

“Alright,” Harry replied.  
“And how do we do that?”

“Answer my riddle,” the being said, her gaze focused solely on Harry, making Cedric shuffle nervously next to him.  
“Answer on your first guess, I let you pass. Answer wrongly, I attack. Remain silent, I will let you walk away from me unscathed.”

Cedric squeezed Harry’s hand and swallowed nervously.

“Okay,” he said.  
“Can we hear the riddle?”

The sphinx sat down upon her hind legs, in the very middle of the path, and recited:

_“First think of the person who lives in disguise,  
Who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies._

_Next, tell me what’s always the last thing to mend,  
The middle of middle and end of the end?_

_And finally give me the sound often heard  
During the search for a hard-to-find word._

_Now string them together, and answer me this,  
Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?”_

Cedric gaped at her.

“Could I have it again… more slowly?” he asked tentatively.

She blinked at him, smiled, and repeated the poem.

“All the clues add up to a creature I wouldn’t want to kiss?” Harry asked.

She merely smiled her mysterious smile. Harry took that for a “yes.” Harry cast his mind around. There weren’t that many animals he wouldn’t want to kiss. He was usually up for pretty much anything, but there were definite exceptions – his immediate thought was a Blast-Ended Skrewt, but something told him that wasn’t the answer. He’d have to try and work out the clues.

“A person in disguise who tells lies…” Cedric mused.  
“That could be an imposter or a spy, right Harry?”

Or it could be ‘Harry’, Harry thought amused, but he didn’t say that out loud and just nodded in reply.

“The last thing to mend and the middle of middle is a letter ‘D’,” Harry said confidently.  
“And the last part the sound when searching for a hard to find word… ‘Er’… Spider! That’s the answer! I have to agree. Wouldn’t want to kiss one of those…”

Or would he? He’d have to think some more on that one later.

The sphinx smiled more broadly. She got up, stretched her front legs, and then moved aside for them pass. Cedric grinned and thanked her as he pulled Harry along, staring back at him in awe.

“You were really good at that!” he exclaimed excited.

“I had a lot of practice,” Harry replied smoothly, smirking.

They followed the straight path for a few moments before arriving in a wider patch. Bang in the middle stood the Triwizard Cup. Harry and Cedric both cheered in excitement at the sight and hugged. They did it! They’d gotten there first! Not only were they going to win the Tournament, but Voldemort would be resurrected within the hour.

“We’ve done this together, Harry,” Cedric said, kissing him with more force than he had ever shown before.

Harry was left breathless and dizzy. He grinned happily and skipped over to the Cup, pulling Cedric along with a teasing grin.

“We deserve this, Ced,” he said grinning.  
“ _You_ deserve it. Let’s win this together.”

Behind Cedric, Harry could see Sirius and Poison Ivy walking out into the open. Both of them were grinning brightly. Ivy smirked as she saw Harry grin back and winked at him while Sirius gave him the thumbs up. They had done a great job keeping the other two Champions off his back and leading Cedric to Harry.

Cedric wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist, completely oblivious to their audience and pulled him closer as they walked up to the Cup. When they had reached it, they both held a hand out over one of the cup’s gleaming handles.

“On three, right?” Harry suggested.  
“One, two, three-”

He and Cedric both grasped a handle. Instantly, Harry felt a jerk somewhere behind his navel. His feet had left the ground. Triwizard Cup was pulling him onward in a howl of wind and swirling color, Cedric at his side.

 


	81. Voldemort Returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters to write ^_^  
> And that really means something!

Harry landed harshly on top of Cedric, who groaned but was quick to wrap his arms around the younger teen, as if to protect him. Harry chuckled and pulled free, standing up to observe his surroundings. They were at the graveyard, next to the grave of Tom Riddle Sr. and his parents.

"Where are we?" Cedric asked confused, standing up himself.  
"Is this part of the task?"

"No. This is the End," Tom's voice rang out calmly.

Harry and Cedric both turned towards the voice and Harry grinned as he saw the older teen standing not that far away over the dead body of a female Death Eater, Alecto. Cedric scowled and pushed Harry behind him in a protective manner, making the younger roll his eyes.

"Amusing that you try to protect the one that volunteered you to die," Tom laughed cruelly, stepping closer.  
"Were you so blinded by his body that you couldn't see the truth anymore? He's not good at sex by talent, he just did it a lot."

Harry laughed and walked over to Tom, ignoring the choked cry of his name from Cedric. Grinning, he wrapped his arms around Tom's neck and stood on his toes.

"Says the guy that's been fucking me the most," he teased.

Tom snarled annoyed and kissed Harry hungrily. Smirking to himself, Harry willingly opened his mouth to let the ravaging tongue in. He could feel Cedric's eyes burn in his back and it only made him want to be devoured by Tom's lustful hunger even more. Show Cedric how to properly fuck.

"Such a pretty slut. Always hungry for more," Tom murmured.

"Stop that!" Cedric yelled, pulling out his wand.

Tom pulled away from Harry and looked at the other teen with a blank expression. His own wand suddenly slid in his hand and he aimed it at Cedric before he could do anything.

" _Crucio!"_

Screaming in agony, Cedric fell to the ground. Harry giggled like a kid in a candy shop and clapped his hands happily as he watched. Cedric was writhing in pain on the ground while dual sets of green eyes stared down at him with glee, until it had to stop.

"Get on with the ritual!" a hoarse, weak voice hissed at them.

Reluctantly, Tom stopped the spell and stepped back. Harry watched curiously as the older teen walked back towards the dead woman and picked up something that looked a lot like a baby from far. However, as he approached again, Harry saw it was anything but.

"Ugh! You get uglier every time I see you, uncle!" he exclaimed, pulling up his nose in distaste.

"And you grow more annoying by the year," Voldebaby hissed at him.

"I think he aspires to become a royal pain in the ass," Tom muttered in agreement.

Harry laughed and sat down on top of Cedric, who groaned but stayed completely still. Tom had apparently already spoken to Voldemort about the change of plans, and the fact that Nagini, Voldy's huge snake familiar was lovingly coiled around Tom's leg, meant that he probably trusted his Horcrux not to try and kill him.

"You are sure this new ritual will work?" Voldemort asked softly.

"We didn't change much, only the blood of the enemy part," Tom replied.

"Yup! If I was your enemy, just a few drops of my blood would work," Harry agreed with a grin.  
"But since I'm not, we'll need to bleed a light wizard dry, and who is lighter than a Diggory, right Ced? You said it yourself. The Diggories and the Weasleys are the lightest families in Britain."

This caused the older student to start struggling again, desperately.

"Wha-… Harry! What's going on?" Cedric asked shakily.

Harry laughed and muttered another Cruciatus curse at the boy under him.

"I just fucked you because I didn't like how close you were with Cho," he said cruelly.  
"I want her, but she's not the type to go for me, so I decided to become the one she trusted the most after her boyfriend started cheating on her. I didn't have to worry about you telling her you cheated on her with me, because you _care_. You _pitied_ me and you wanted to be my hero. Pathetic."

Cedric let out a soft sob, but he was left ignored as Tom threw Voldebaby in the large cauldron.

" _Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son!"_ the Durmstrang student muttered, levitating a bone from the Riddle grave.

He dropped the bone in the cauldron before taking a small wooden box and opened it, grinning at the sight of Barty's hand preserved inside. The man had been so… _kind_ to willingly offer the appendage to return his master to his former glory since neither Tom nor Harry were the right people to do it. And even if they were, they wouldn't have done it. They were too selfish.

" _Flesh of the servant willingly given you will revive your master,"_ he recited, throwing the hand in too.

He then turned to Harry and grinned, his dark green eyes sparkling in excitement that made Harry laugh in exhilaration. He was so ready for a long night of fucking after this was over. Grinning wolfishly, Harry hauled Cedric up and dragged him over to Tom and the boiling cauldron.

" _Blood of the enemy forcibly taken you will resurrect your foe,"_ Harry said, holding out his hand.

Tom pulled out a ceremonial dagger and cut Harry's palm, making the younger teen hiss in pain. Tom chuckled, a breathy, excited sound, as he held Harry's hand over the cauldron. Cedric could see the liquid inside the large pot hiss and sputter and he jerked in Harry's tight grip. The 14 year-old was a lot stronger than he looked.

"Trying to leave?" Harry teased as he gripped Cedric's hair with his bleeding hand.  
"Also, just so you know, but I'm really going to enjoy fucking your girlfriend."

Before Cedric could reply to that statement, Tom swiped the dagger over his throat and all the noises the Hufflepuff could make were choking sounds as he drowned in his own blood.

As the champion slumped in Harry's grasp, the substance inside the cauldron seemed to come alive, bubbling and hissing and Harry dropped the dead body in order to step back, just as Tom did. Slowly, the cauldron seemed to lose its shape, crumbling into itself before expanding again in the form of a man.

Harry whistled in appreciation seeing the man standing before him in a simple black robe. He had a pale complexion, but it was not unhealthy-looking, as he had expected and aside from the blood red snake eyes, he looked to be a mixture of Tom and Cedric, with the elegant, straight nose and handsome curls, but in a copper color instead of raven. The man smirked knowingly at seeing Harry and Tom's wide, burning eyes on his new body.

"Not that I don't get turned on _majorly_ with that new look, but I don't think you look like an evil Dark Lord," Harry said, smirking slyly.  
"Unless you plan on fucking your way into the ministry of course. I bet that pervert Fudge would give up his position if he could suck your dick just once."

Voldemort glared at him and held out his hand as Tom gave him his Yew wand back, albeit somewhat reluctant. With just a single swipe, Voldemort's appearance changed to that of a serpentine being. Bald, with white scales on his skull and instead of the straight, thin nose, two snake like slits. Now that was more like the Voldemort Harry had expected to meet.

"It seems that the blood of the Diggory boy had some unintended effects," Tom noted.  
"That could be useful in the long run I suppose, though I agree with Harry that this form will cause more fear in our enemies and followers."

" _My_ followers, my little Horcrux," Voldemort corrected with a soft hiss in his tone.

Tom narrowed his eyes and was about ready to retort when Harry interrupted.

"Welcome back to the world of the living, uncle Tim!" he said cheerfully.

Lord Voldemort narrowed his eyes at the boy.

"It's Tom- _Lord Voldemort_ to you, child," he hissed.

"Very well," Harry conceded, dipping his head a bit.

Voldemort seemed pleased with that, but Tom, standing next to the now dead Hogwarts Champion, smirked knowingly. Having been around Harry for this long, he knew what the grin in the teen's face meant, and he doubted Voldemort would like it very much.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Tom-Lord-Voldemort," Harry said, smiling innocently.

The Dark Lord tensed and glared at Harry, who just stared back innocently, blinking up at the snake-faced man with big green doe-eyes. Voldemort hissed and walked up to Harry, bending down so they were face to face. He was so close now that if he still had a nose, they would be touching.

"Do not call me that," he warned.

"What's the problem, Tim?" Harry asked.  
"First you tell me to call you that and now I'm not allowed to? Make up your mind!"

" _Tom!_ And my name is Lord Voldemort! You will address me like that, boy."

"Like what? Tom? I already have one Tom in my life so it'll be really confusing," Harry told him.  
"Which is why I decided on Tim. Uncle Tim. But if you don't like it, I can still call you Old Snake-face."

"I am Lord Voldemort!" the older man hissed angrily.

"Good for you uncle Tim! It's important to be who you want to be. Don't let society push you down!"

Voldemort sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Get this boy out of my sight before I kill him!" he demanded annoyed.

Harry shrugged and moved to stand behind Tom.

"This out of sight enough?" he asked teasingly.

. . . . .

Harry felt himself slam flat into the ground, his face was pressed into grass, the smell of it filled his nostrils. He had closed his eyes while the Portkey transported him, and he kept them closed now. He did not move. All the breath seemed to have been knocked out of him. His head was swimming so badly he felt as though the ground beneath him were swaying like the deck of a ship. To hold himself steady, he tightened his hold on the two things he was still clutching, the smooth, cold handle of the Triwizard Cup and Cedric's body.

Instantly, there were voices everywhere, footsteps, screams. He remained where he was and waited for someone to reach him. he had to play the victim like he'd done when he and Tom had killed Ginny. As expected, a pair of hands seized him roughly and turned him over.

"Harry! Harry!"

He opened his eyes and found Dumbledore was crouched over him. The dark shadows of a crowd of people pressed in around them, pushing nearer. Harry felt the ground beneath his head reverberating with their footsteps.

"My baby! Where's my baby!" Harley's shriek rang over everyone else's voice.

Dumbledore was roughly pushed to the side and was replaced by Harry's mother, who held up a worried façade. Next to her, Joker leaned down and hauled Harry up roughly, pulling him into a strong, fake comforting hug.

"Did it work?" the Joker whispered softly.

Harry sniffed and nodded, hiding his smirk in his dad's clothes. Joker kissed his forehead and handed him over to his mother again, who instantly pulled him away from the crowd and started fussing while Hailey watched curiously from in aunt Ivy's arms and Sirius, Bud and Lou watched uninterested. Harry saw Tom appear from behind the bleachers, tucking away the Portkey necklace Crouch had given him back underneath his clothes before he rejoined the Durmstrang students.

Amos Diggory and his wife came running down, crying and screaming in horror at the sight of their son. Crouch, disguised as Moody walked over and grasped Harry's shoulder. He was holding back an excited grin with great difficulty.

"We should take you somewhere else, let the family mourn," he said gruffly.

Harry nodded in agreement and followed his teacher along with the rest of his family. He clung to his mom tightly and even put in some sobs to make it look more convincing. Cedric was dead after all. He should be upset, not gleeful.

They all filed into Crouch's office and almost instantly, their masks fell away to show their true feelings. Joker cackled loudly, grabbing Harry and dancing a circle with the teen before putting him back down. Almost instantly, Sirius was on the pink haired boy and hugged him tightly.

"That was some grade A acting, pup!" Sirius complimented him.

"I'm thinking of doing Broadway, next," Harry said shyly, willing a blush on his face.

"HAH! You're a good kid," Joker laughed, ruffling Harry's hair.  
"My big bro is runnin' the streets double time now. Imagine the chaos!"

"I'm already drowning at the thought," Harry breathed giggly.

"What are you staring at Crouch Jr.?" Ivy asked annoyed.

Harry looked over and noticed Crouch was staring wide-eyed at Sirius, who was glaring back.

"Since when are _you_ a follower of the Dark Lord?" Crouch asked.

"I'm not," Sirius sneered in reply.  
"I'm only loyal to Harry. No one else."

. . . . .

Harry sat in the Headmaster's office next to his mom while McGonagall, Crouch, Snape, Fudge and Amos Diggory crowded around them. Dumbledore sat at his desk, looking pityingly at Harry, who was staring at his knees while tears were streaming down his face.

"Do you think you can tell us what exactly happened?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry hesitated for a moment before nodding.

"C-Ced and I… we decided to win t-together," he hiccupped, wiping at his eyes.  
"Bu-but i-it was a-a P-portkey… w-we ended up in a g-graveyard, a-and there was a woman waiting for us."

He sniffed and buried his face in his hand. Instantly, Harley leaned towards him and held him tight, shushing him gently.

"S-she used a spell to tie me up, a-and then she tried to k-kill Ced, but he fought back!" Harry continued, his voice muffled by his hands.  
"A-and then she p-pulled out a knife and s-slit-… I couldn't do a-anything! A-and then s-she did this ritual to bring him b-back! …. Voldemort, not Cedric."

Everyone in the room tensed in horror at those words, and Harry peaked through his fingers to see the wide-eyed look on Dumbledore's face. He smirked minutely before sobbing again and releasing his face again to look teary-eyed at Amos Diggory.

"H-he was my-my f-friend," he whispered miserably.  
"A-and I c-couldn't s-save him. I-I'm so s-sorry!"

"It's alright, Harry," McGonagall said soothingly, pressing a reassuring hand in his shoulder.  
"If this is too much, we can finish this some other day."

Harry whimpered and shook his head.

"N-no. I-I can still…" he mumbled weakly.  
"W-while V-Voldem-mort was t-talking, I-I escaped a-and I k-killed the w-woman. V-… we b-battled a-and I was g-gonna l-lose, so I-I ch-cheated. I-I used a f-flare I took to use i-in the M-Maze, b-but f-forgot about an when he was blinded I-I…"

Again, Harry started sobbing.

"I-I blasted him with a-a Confringo and ran off," he whispered.

"I see. Thank you, Harry," Dumbledore mumbled.

"Are you saying you killed You-Know-Who?" Fudge asked shakily.

Harry scowled and nodded unsurely.

"I-I think so? I mean… he was weak from the resurrection and I didn't really stay to make sure, did I?"

"My baby's gone through enough for now," Harley said confidently.  
"He answered all questions, told ya what ya wanted ta know. Now he's going home with me."

"Home?" Dumbledore asked shocked.  
"School is still going, Miss Quinzel-"

"My boy deserves some peace and quiet after this!" Harley said sternly.  
"He just suffered through a major traumatic event. I'm a fuckin' psychiatrist, ya know!"

With that, she steered Harry out of the room without letting anyone complain.

"He'll come by during summer to do his exams!" Harley called behind them before slamming the door closed.

Harry snickered and hugged his mom.

"I love you," he sighed.

"Love ya too, baby."

 


	82. Grimmauld Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Pervy Snakes and owners, Off Screen Bestiality, Off Screen Voyeurism

 

“There is my brother!” Joker laughed, his arms opened wide as he walked into the house that Sirius so graciously had offered to them all.

Voldemort scowled annoyed at the sight of him and sneered. He was looking the way he had when he had come out of that cauldron. Tall and handsome, with copper colored hair, high cheekbones and a porcelain pale skin. Harry gave a teasing, seductive smirk and openly licked his lips from behind his parents. Voldemort was the only one to see, and he seemed to like it, considering his slit-like pupils widened as he looked at Harry.

“So you really _have_ raised the boy, Jack,” Voldemort said calmly.

“Raised him and taught him everything he’s got to know about the Dark Arts,” Joker laughed.  
“Hell. He’s a natural at Potions – and even better, Necromancy! Little fucking genius this one.”

That seemed to gain Voldemort’s interest. He perked up and looked at Harry with new eyes.

“Talented with Necromancy? How fascinating…” he muttered.

“Yeah! I’m especially good with rodents now, but I brought back a cat just last summer!” Harry laughed.  
“He bit and killed a dog. That was fucking hilarious. I kind of wanted to lead it to a kid’s neighborhood, but the stupid feline drowned itself…”

“Really now?” Voldemort asked in a bored tone.

“Yeah! I’ve been thinking of starting with Inferi soon!” Harry said grinning brightly.

“Death magic is a fascinating and powerful thing. I can mentor you in it,” Voldemort offered.  
“You have served me well today, Harry. Lord Voldemort always rewards those that serve.”

“Yeah. Don’t get used to it. This dog only has one master,” Harry said grinning.

Joker laughed loudly and pressed his hand on Harry’s head, ruffling his bright pink hair while Voldemort scowled at the duo.

“Woof,” Harry said teasingly.

“Then I guess I should ask my brother to lend me the leash,” Voldemort replied calmly.  
“The offer still stands. I can teach you a lot about Necromancy. Things Jack wouldn’t be able to.”

“I’ll keep you to it, uncle Voldy!”

“… I really wish you’d stop calling me that…”

.              .              .               .              .

It was a good thing the house was as big as it was with the amount of people in it. Sirius had taken back his childhood bedroom and Harry had been given the room of the late Regulus Black. Ivy, Hailey and Voldemort slept in three of the guest rooms while Joker and Harley had been graciously offered the master bedroom.

Of course, the whole place was covered in dust, dirt and dark objects and the Black family House Elf, Kreacher, was a useless old thing. Voldemort instantly contacted the Malfoys and requested some assistance. The loyal family was all too willing to send over three of their own elves, including Dobby as per Harry’s request.

Some things, however, were hard to get rid of, such as the painting of Walburga Black, which screeched and cursed at the sight of half-bloods and muggles in her home. Harry easily grew amused, and purposefully drew her out for most of the first day until aunt Ivy grew sick of the screeching woman and covered her painting with thick vines. Kreacher grew temporarily violent after that, but he calmed again after a few Crucios from Voldemort.

Most of the people in the house were tense though. Not at the chance of being found out, or at anything happening outside the home, but because of one another. Hate and bitterness was almost palpable in the air whenever several people occupied the same room.

Ivy couldn’t stand Joker and only ever put up with him for Harry, Hailey and Harley. Voldemort was disgusted by Harley and Ivy for being muggles and had no issue speaking up about it, which in turn angered the two women. Sirius, obviously, hated Voldemort for all the grief he’d caused in the past. Especially for killing James and Lily Potter.

All in all, Harry had great fun.

.              .              .               .              .

On the third morning of living together, Harry was sitting at the dining table with his books for Transfiguration, reading up on some theory of turning lifeforms into lifeless objects. At the other end of the table sat Ivy, eating a healthy, vegan breakfast.

“Good morning!” Sirius greeted as he walked into the room.

“Morning,” Harry mumbled, barely looking up from his study material.

“Sleep well, handsome?” Ivy asked smirking.

Sirius chuckled and walked over, leaning against the table next to Ivy’s seat.

“I dreamed about a beautiful plant woman,” he replied winking.

“Did you now? What was that dream like?” the villainess asked amused.

“Can’t tell you. There are kids in the room.”

Ivy laughed while Sirius smirked and pushed away from the table. He walked into the kitchen to get his own breakfast, and it didn’t take long for Ivy to follow after him.

“Let me, darling. You could use a healthy meal,” Harry heard her say.

“Babe. I’d eat anything you put on my plate. Even poison.”

Harry rolled his eyes and grinned amused. The two of them had been flirting for the past year. It was getting time they got together and just fucked already.

“Just get me some cousins already!” he yelled out.

“Don’t encourage them, Harry,” Voldemort spoke disdainfully as he entered with a steaming cup of coffee.  
“Their sickly flirtations and innuendos disgust me to no end. Wizards shouldn’t mix with muggles.”

“If they hadn’t, you and dad wouldn’t have been born, uncle Voldy,” Harry pointed out.

“Do not call me such,” Voldemort said scowling.

Harry chuckled and shrugged. Meanwhile, Ivy and Sirius walked back into the room, laughing softly to each other. Ivy had another plate of healthy breakfast in her hands while Sirius walked next to her, an arm wrapped around her waist. He leaned down a little to whisper something in her ear, making the plant villainess laugh again and blush a little.

“Try and act civilized when around others,” Voldemort sneered.

Sirius looked over and glared.

“I’m sorry. I can’t hear you over the fact that you killed my best mate,” he said.

Harry let out a bark of laughter at that while the two adult males glared at each other. Ivy rolled her eyes and sat back down, putting Sirius’ plate down next to hers.

“The Potters were a necessary kill,” Voldemort said coolly, crossing his arms.  
“They were in my way. I will destroy anyone who does that, remember that, Black.”

“You think I’m scared of you?” Sirius scoffed.  
“The only reason you’re here is because Harry wants you to be.”

Voldemort’s eyes flitted over to Harry and narrowed for a moment. The teen smirked and shrugged lazily before turning back to his book. He wasn’t really studying anymore, but it couldn’t hurt to act as if he was while watching his uncle and godfather fight. That was ten times more entertaining than listing the possible dangers of transfiguring soft materials into hard ones.

“You are the last Lord Black. Don’t you care about that name at all?” Voldemort asked.

“If I did, my mother wouldn’t have disowned me,” Sirius replied smirking.

“You are a pureblood! Where is your pride that you chose such a freak of nature?”

Ivy jumped up from her seat instantly, hissing in anger.

“One more word and I will kill you!” she threatened darkly.

Voldemort gave a high-pitched laugh and whipped out his wand. Instantly, Sirius did the same. Harry watched excited as the three adults glared at each other hatefully. They were tense, ready to start a fight. The teen knew that this would end with at least one of them dead and possibly with the Ministry finding them, which wouldn’t be good for anyone.

While the adults continued giving each other death threats, Harry pulled out his wand and looked through his textbook for a nice spell. He grinned when he fount exactly what he had been looking for and he pulled his wand, aiming it at the table.

With a swipe and a mumbled spell, the table started transforming and growing quickly. Harry laughed loudly and clapped his hands in childish glee as a large pink elephant took the table’s place. Voldemort, Sirius and Ivy were staring at it with wide eyes in shock and confusion.

“What the hell, Harry?” Sirius exclaimed.

“There’s an elephant in the room!” Harry crowed giggling.  
“But shhhh. Let’s not talk about it, okay? HAHAHAHAHA!”

“You’re a childish brat,” Voldemort hissed before walking out of the room.

“I’m fucking amazing and you damn well know it!” Harry called after him.

.              .              .               .              .

Since Harry had grown bored of studying pretty quickly, he spend most of the day playing with Hailey. The two dressed up Dobby in a maid’s dress, which was actually from one of Hailey’s teddy bears. They had made a point in telling Dobby that it weren’t clothes and they weren’t his anyway, just to make sure he wouldn’t free himself.

They had a tea party with Malinda, Nagini, Bud and Lou while Dobby served them. For their own amusement, they played the parts of pureblood wizards. Hailey was ‘Lady Black’ and Harry was ‘Lord Potter’. The girl might be a little too young to really play the role of an old-blooded, refined pureblood witch, but she was getting really good at being the bossy, abusive mistress with Dobby.

“More tea, slave!” she shouted, hitting the table with a horse whip.

“Y-yes, Mistress Black,” Dobby squeaked.

“Filthy Half-blood, defiling the name of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black.”

Harry’s head whipped around instantly and he glared at Kreacher, who was creeping at the open door, staring at them with a hateful sneer. The old elf was seriously getting on Harry’s nerves and on that of the other two elves too, because he always made a mess of everything instead of cleaning it up.

“Filthy fairy wannabe, back talking to your masters,” Harry hissed in reply.  
“You better shut your stupid mouth and do your job for once in your fucking life or I’m feeding you to Malinda and Nagini.”

 ***Yes! I wish to devour the bad tiny servant!*** Nagini hissed excitedly while Malinda scoffed.

***It smells bad. I don’t think it will taste better.***

Hailey giggled and patted Malinda’s head a little too hard.

“Silly Mally!” she said.

“Yeah!” Harry cackled, patting Malinda as well and making the snake hiss annoyed.  
“Such a silly snake you are, Malinda! You’re so picky with your food and you like watching me fuck.”

This had Malinda rear up more so she was looking Harry straight in the eye and she blinked innocently.

 ***Can we do tonight what we talked about?*** she asked hopeful.

Harry’s eyes widened and he started grinning like a maniac.

 ***Definitely,*** he agreed.

 ***What will you do tonight?*** Nagini asked curiously.

 ***Why don’t you come and watch, if you’re curious,*** Harry suggested, winking at her.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry was sitting naked on his bed, lubing up Malinda’s tail when the door opened. He looked up, grinning as Nagini entered, followed by Voldemort.

“Sup, uncle Voldy!” Harry greeted.  
“Come to enjoy the show too?”

“Nagini informed me something interesting might be happening here,” Voldemort replied calmly.  
“I have to admit, I am already fascinated with what you’re planning here. I might stay.”

 ***Oh! You will be mating small one! This is very interesting!*** Nagini hissed eagerly.  
***Perhaps Master and I can join in as well sometime? I would like to try it too.***

Harry wasn’t that surprised to find Nagini was just as much of a pervert as Malinda was. Maybe it was a snake thing, or a familiar thing. Like the more perverted the wizard, the more perverted the familiar? That would definitely explain a lot. He looked over to Voldemort, wondering if he’d want to fuck Harry too and found the man’s red eyes glinting. He laughed and winked, pulling Malinda closer to him.

“Sure thing! But not now. Tonight’s Malinda’s night,” Harry told the two voyeurs grinning.

Voldemort chuckled and sat down on a chair across from Harry’s bed, where he could see everything perfectly. He crossed his legs and smirked teasingly.

“I don’t mind watching… for now,” he said.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not feeling up for smut right now, sorry. There will probably be sexy times Harry/Voldemort in the next chapter though.


	83. Sex-E.D.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this the other story you wanted to see updated, Nobody? ;)
> 
> WARNING: Harry/Voldemort, Dubious Consent, Bondage, Bestiality, Foursome???

Harry stood at the front door along with Voldemort to wave his parents and godparents off. Tom had called a few days earlier to let them all know he would be staying the entire summer with Fleur to help her ‘get over the trauma of the Tournament’, but Harry knew it was just an excuse to fuck her and use her family to gain a stronger following.

“We’ll see you in two weeks, alright, baby?” Harley said, kissing her son’s cheek.

“Bye, bye!” Hailey said cheerfully, kissing Harry’s other cheek.

“Bye mom, bye Hai-bear!” Harry giggled.  
“And dad and aunt Ivy and uncle Sirius.”

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea to leave him alone with Voldemort,” Sirius grumbled annoyed.

“You’re not the only one who thinks so, darling,” Ivy agreed with an angry sneer aimed at the Dark Lord.

Voldemort ignored them both and shook the Joker’s hand.

“Take good care of my boy, bro!” Joker laughed.  
“No candy before dinner and don’t let him play with fire.”

“That’s not fair!” Harry pouted.  
“My fire is super cool and it heals people!”

“It sure does, kid!” Joker replied grinning, ruffling Harry’s hair.

Harry giggled happily and pushed his head further in his dad’s hand, closing his eyes in pleasure. He really loved the feeling of someone’s hands in his hair. Rubbing, combing, pulling, he didn’t care. As long as they were touching it. Though he preferred there to be sex too if it was hair-pulling.

At last, the group left, leaving Harry and Voldemort on their own with their two familiars. The Dark Lord walked back inside, pulling Harry along and he threw the door closed behind them.

“Healing fire?” he asked, raising a brow.

“Yup!” Harry replied cheerfully.  
“It heals people of the decease called life!”

“Of course it does,” Voldemort snorted.

.              .              .               .              .

“You wanna fuck?”

Voldemort looked up from the book he was reading and levelled Harry with an unimpressed stare. The teen just grinned back cockily. He had Malinda wrapped around his shoulders and Nagini had wounded herself around his waist. Both snakes were looking hopeful at the older, handsome wizard.

“Shouldn’t you be studying for your exams?” Voldemort asked dryly.

“You can quiz me while you fuck me,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“I’m bored and horny, so I can’t focus on those books anyway.”

Voldemort sighed loudly, but Harry could see his lips trying to quirk upwards, making the teen giggle. His uncle had absolutely nothing against the prospect of screwing Harry, just as the insane youngster had expected of him.

“I suppose I can use some relaxation myself…” the man murmured.

Harry threw his hands up and cheered happily. The snakes wrapped around his body hissed in pleasure and rubbed their slick, scaly bodies against the cheerful teen.

Voldemort smirked and pulled out his wand, which he flicked lazily in Harry’s direction. With a shout of surprise, the insane teen was flung backwards and landed harshly on the couch that had been placed against the far wall of the library. Both snakes hissed angrily at the violent treatment, but recoiled hurriedly from Harry’s body as Voldemort approached. With another flick of his Yew wand, he vanished all of Harry’s clothing, leaving him completely bare for the other to see.

“Not a fan of foreplay? Me neither,” Harry said smirking.

“How about we use that mouth of yours for something other than spouting garbage?” Voldemort hissed.

“Throwing me on a comfy couch just so you can order me off it again,” Harry grumbled teasingly.  
“You’re lucky I’m becoming a pro at sucking total assholes off, so I’ll do it, but you better show me a good time after.”

He rolled off the couch with a last deep sigh and fell to his knees, waiting patiently as Voldemort shrugged off his robes and made himself comfortable on the couch, before shuffling between his legs. He licked his lips hungrily at the sight off the well-endowed member hanging half-hard before him. He could kind of see the similarities between Voldemort’s cock and those of Cedric and Tom, both dicks he was very intimately familiar with.

“Hello, beautiful. You look like you could do with a little kiss,” he murmured sweetly.

“Shut up and get to wo-ooohhh…”

Harry chuckled at the sudden moan he got as he wrapped his lips around the head and slowly licked the slit. One of his hands took the base in a firm grip and rubbed it a little as he moved down deeper until the cock head hit the back of his throat.

“You weren’t playing when you said you were pro,” Voldemort groaned.  
“How many have you done this for? My Horcrux, at least. My brother too?”

Harry pulled back off and made a face at Voldemort, still using his hand to jerk him off.

“Gross! He’s my dad!” he exclaimed.

“You’re probably more like a hobby to him,” Voldemort huffed.  
“When he gets bored of treating you as his son, he’ll either kill you or use you like this.”

Harry scowled and went back to sucking. He wanted to keep his mouth occupied so he wouldn’t start insulting the asshole. And keep his mind from Voldemort’s words. He was more than aware that he was in a weak position. If his dad got sick of him, even Harley wouldn’t be able to convince him not to kill him. His position was getting stronger though. Sirius was loyal to only him, and Ivy adored him like no one else. He’d even managed to make himself popular by Hailey and useful to Tom. If for nothing else, Tom would at least want to keep him around for the sex. Harry was good at that.

A sudden tongue against his own cock had Harry pull off again and gasp. Looking down, he found Malinda there, wrapped around his leg as she licked his cock and balls again. Harry laughed softly, but fell quiet again as Voldemort grabbed his hair and pulled impatiently.

“Keep sucking,” the dark wizard grunted.

“Jeez. I’m not your servant,” Harry muttered frowning.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes and pulled more insistently. With a roll of his eyes, Harry moved to continue the blow job. He licked the side, dragging the flat of his tongue all the way from the base to the head before wrapping his lips around it once again and bobbing his head.

“Ah~ But you service me so well…”

Harry rolled his eyes and dragged his teeth over the sensitive flesh, causing Voldemort to moan in pain and grab his hair tighter. Harry moaned loudly in pleasure at the slight sting in his scalp and worked more enthusiastically on the delicious cock. He couldn’t wait to feel it mess him up inside of him.

He tensed when he suddenly felt Nagini’s thick, strong body wrap itself around his and used it to crawl up until her head was resting on his shoulder. Harry chuckled around the meat in his mouth and ignored the two snakes again, just enjoying the nice feel of the split tongue on his own junk as he took care of the older man’s. A sudden lick on his collarbone had Harry tense up again, making Voldemort laugh softly above him.

“Nagini seems to want to join,” Voldemort purred.

Harry sat back on his heels, letting Voldemort’s cock fall from his mouth for the third time and instead put two fingers from each of his own hands in his mouth to get them wet while the Dark Lord watched him with a confused scowl. Once he decided they were wet enough, he popped his fingers back out and reached between his own legs, pushing the two fingers of his left hand in his ass right away, wincing a little at the burn.

“What are you planning?” Voldemort asked curiously.

“Letting the snakies join!” Harry replied cheerfully.

With that, he went back down on Voldemort before reaching up with his right hand and rubbing Nagini’s slick body until he found her cloaca. Once he did, he slowly slid in one finger, careful not to hurt her. The snake hissed in pleasure and started rubbing herself on Harry’s finger. Voldemort chuckled and leaned back a little as he watched Harry’s actions.

“So that’s what you’re planning.”

Harry looked up and winked at him. He soon added a second finger into Nagini before scissoring them to stretch her enough for him to fit. When he decided both he and Nagini were ready, he sat back again and untangled the two snakes, getting them in position.

He slowly lowered Nagini on his cock while Malinda pushed her tail into Harry’s ass. The two snakes instantly wrapped their long bodies back around Harry to steady themselves before they started moving on their own paces. Harry closed his eyes and moaned in pleasure at the dual feelings. Nagini’s tight heat around his cock was heavenly, and while Malinda was pretty thin, she definitely made up with that amazing drag of her scales against his sensitive walls.

“Don’t forget about me, brat,” Voldemort huffed, pulling Harry back towards his dick by his hair.

Harry laughed breathlessly and leaned back over, taking Voldemort back in his mouth. It didn’t take long for Voldemort to reach his peek after that. His growing pitch as he moaned and the twitching of his cock were enough of a warning to the experienced teen and he quickly backed up, letting Voldemort’s seed spray on his face instead of in his mouth.

No longer having to focus on Voldemort, Harry closed his eyes again and gave all his attention to the two snakes still fucking him eagerly. He moaned and whimpered in pleasure, grabbing Voldemort’s knees to steady himself as he too came close to his own orgasm. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he shivered a little before finally bursting.

Panting harshly, Harry sagged down and put his head on Voldemort’s thigh while both snakes slithered off to do their own snake things again. There was a soft chuckle above him before a hand gently pressed down onto his scalp and gently scratched it. Harry closed his eyes in pleasure and nuzzled more into the gentle treatment, enjoying the little aftercare.

“Sated?” Voldemort asked.

“For now,” Harry murmured sleepily.

.              .              .               .              .

“Honey, I’m home!” Harry called out as he flooed into the house.

As usual, there was no answer. Smirking, Harry tip-toed into the study, figuring he could at least surprise Voldemort and maybe get some celebratory sex out of the whole deal. After all, he just finished his last exam. That deserved some celebration.

He walked into the study and stopped, scowling when he found it empty. Voldemort hardly ever got out of that room. Why now? Huffing in annoyance, Harry turned back around, tensing when he found Voldemort standing in the doorway, his wand pointed right at Harry.

“Welcome home, ‘sweetheart’,” Voldemort said teasingly.

With that, Harry was hit by a Stupify to the chest. He didn’t even get the chance to curse before he was unconscious.

.              .              .               .              .

Harry blinked open his eye and groaned. He wanted to rub them, but to his surprise, he found them tied behind his back. Harry closed his eyes again and concentrated on himself a bit more. He was naked and lying on his back on a bed, his wrists tied together behind him and pulled down with a rope, tying them to the foot of the bed. His legs were pulled up from his knees and they were tied to the headboards. A hand came to rest on his leg and Harry jumped, causing the person to chuckle amused.

“What the fuck, Voldemort,” Harry grumbled, opening his eyes again to glare at the man looming over him with a devilish grin.

“I thought we’d celebrate the end of your exams,” Voldemort purred, continuing to stroke Harry’s naked flesh.  
“I’ve had some very interesting conversations with Tom and he told me you are not only a sex-addict, but a pain-whore too.”

“Liking pain and liking being tied up are different things! At least ask for consent, jackass!”

Voldemort chuckled again and raised a brow at Harry’s outburst.

“You don’t like being tied up?” he asked.  
“So I take it you’ve done it before, then?”

“… I haven’t,” Harry muttered reluctantly.

“And you don’t want to find out if you like it?” Voldemort asked huskily.

Harry shivered as Voldemort climbed over him and licked the shell of his ear. The utterly Dark aura of Voldemort surrounded and drowned Harry, leaving him incapable of thinking clearly. The guy was a sexy bastard and _really_ good in this kind of thing. Even better than Tom… Also, he was still completely dressed, which was annoying.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt trying new things,” Harry muttered blushing.  
“Alright, fine! You win. What’s it you want to do with me?”

“Play, obviously, my little toy,” Voldemort purred.  
“So, I’ll leave you tied up right here. We’ll make it a little game. You’ll stay like that until we get your results from school and if you don’t have any failed subjects, I’ll let you go again.”

Harry paled and he licked his lips nervously.

“And what if I do have any failed subjects?” he asked softly.

“Then I’ll punish you for every single one of them,” Voldemort replied grinning.

Harry took a shaky breath. He knew it could be days before he got the results back, and he hadn’t really done his best for them either. He shook his head to get rid of the fear creeping into his chest and he gave Voldemort a cocky smirk.

“It almost sounds as if you care about my education,” he teased.

“I don’t have use for you if you’re stupid,” Voldemort deadpanned.

With that, he stood up, patting Harry’s thigh one last time with a condescending smirk.

“Well, I’m expecting Barty to arrive here at any moment now, so I’ll have to leave you.”

“Wait, what?!” Harry exclaimed shocked.

“He’ll be staying here a while,” Voldemort said, grinning wider.  
“Don’t worry. I’ll tell him he can come play with you whenever I’m too busy. We both know how much you hate not getting any attention after all."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Nobody for their pointers on the snake sex.
> 
> The reason why I didn’t have Harry penetrate Malinda is because she isn’t really sized for it. She’s big for a grass snake (Opheodrys aestivis, also known as rough green snake) They usually grow to be about 116 cm long, or almost 46 in, while Malinda is closer to 5 ft. She’s still a very thin snake, probably thinner than Harry’s cock or about the same, so that would be pretty painful.
> 
> Nagini on the other hand, is in this story 6.66 m (yes, that’s on purpose) or nearly 22 ft. She wouldn’t have any difficulty taking Harry. At least I don’t think she would, because I used Wikipedia for all this. I have absolutely no real knowledge about snakes. SO if someone out there does, my deepest apologies for making mistakes here, but I’m not changing it.


	84. Birthday at Wayne Manor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m two days later with this update because I have a bit of a writer’s block. I’m trying hard to keep up with my schedule, but I haven’t even written a single word for the next chapter, so I’m not sure I’ll make it in time to post it next Wednesday. I’ll still try of course!

The last week at Grimmauld Place was a nightmare to Harry. Being tied up like that quickly got to him, causing anxiety he hadn’t felt in years had bubbled to the surface again, causing a panic attacks. He was left in a position that needed trust towards Voldemort, something Harry was unable to give.

Voldemort had wanted to kill him for years. Even a month ago, Voldemort had been out for Harry’s life. And now there he was, being tied to the man’s bed, completely vulnerable. What if he would kill him? What if he would just leave him there to starve?

That didn’t happen, luckily, but Voldemort was still a lot worse than Harry had liked. He ordered the Elves to feed him and give him water, sure, but when he visited, he was cruel and selfish. Harry usually liked pain, but not like this. Not when he was unable to fight back. He was just a thing to Voldemort. An object for him to use instead of being a person.

To add insult to injury, Voldemort gagged Harry once he started screaming to be freed. After three days, Harry even ended up crying in his desperation to get out, causing Voldemort to laugh at him and just treat him even more harshly. As soon as he got his results and was untied, Harry took the floo back to Gotham in hopes of forgetting what had happened.

.              .              .              .              .

“Dick!” Harry yelled, barreling into his best friend and squeezing him into a suffocating hug.  
“I missed you so much! I wanted to sneak out of the school with Christmas Break, but I was one of the people being honored at the ball, so that was impossible. It was so lame too! And they gave me a month detention for spiking the punch with hardcore whiskey, even though they couldn’t prove it was me…”

“Calm down, Harry!” Dick laughed.  
“How about you don’t kill me and you can tell me everything later?”

Harry let out a loud bark of laughter and let go of his friend with a wide grin, allowing his best friend to look him over while he did the same with Dick. The other had grown some more and his shoulders were wider too. He had filled out nicely, but he was still lithe, like an acrobat more than a fighter. His hair had grown a bit longer too, reaching down to his chin.

Harry had changed too of course. For starters, he had finally gotten the chance to go to an eye-doctor and get some contact lenses, so he wouldn’t have to walk around with glasses anymore. His own messy hair was cut short and he’d chosen bright red highlights. He had his ears pierced and on his left underarm, there stood a tattoo.

“Woah!” Dick exclaimed as he realized this as well.  
“That’s so cool! is it a real one? Can I touch it?”

“It is! And not yet. I only had it set yesterday,” Harry replied cheerfully.

To Dick’s eyes, it was a picture of a snake eating his own tail, coiled in the form of the infinity sign. However, to those with magic, they could see there was the number 16 written in Old English Text letter type on top of the snake. That one was a magical kill count.

“An early birthday present from dad,” Harry said proudly.  
“When I saw the design, I knew I wanted it. You like it?”

“Absolutely,” Dick agreed grinning.  
“To be honest, I was kind of scared that your first tattoo would be that ugly clown tattoo a lot of Joker’s goons have…”

“Nah. That’ll be the second,” Harry chuckled.

“Harry! That’s not funny!” Dick whined.

“Maybe not, but your face sure as hell is~”

.              .              .              .              .

After Harry had been given the results to his exams (he failed History of Magic and Astronomy, which had left him a seriously sore ass) he had gone back to Gotham as fast as possible, where he’d spend a week with his parents. His dad had taken him to some dark alley in Blüdhaven’s magical district to get the tattoo, and his mom had pierced his ears herself as some kind of apology when they saw Harry returning completely shaken up and unusually quiet.

After that, he had gone over to Dick’s, where he would spend his birthday before going after his family to Metropolis, where his dad had some ‘business’ to do with Luthor. Harry hoped it would include killing people because he wanted to get his kill count up.

So now here he was. The day before his birthday, lying in his bed and looking up at the ceiling. He had insisted in sleeping in Dick’s room, because he had missed him so much. Bruce had offered to put an extra mattress in the room, but both Dick and Harry had refused, saying they didn’t mind sharing a bed. Bruce had been a bit bewildered at that. It wasn’t normal for fifteen year old boys to sleep in the same bed together anymore.

Ugh! He was so bored! And Dick was in the bathroom, so Harry was all on his own. A smirk formed on his lips and he threw the blankets off. He had a great idea to amuse himself a little! But he had to be really sneaky if he wanted it to work…

Harry could hear the shower running as he snuck into the bathroom. With a grin, he tip-toed over to the bath and pulled away the shower curtain, causing Dick to squeal in surprise.

“Huh…” Harry said, looking a bit disappointed.  
“For having the name you have, I expected it to be bigger.”

“What the hell, Harry?!” Dick shouted.

He was blushing bright red and his hands quickly moved to his front to cover his crotch. Harry just laughed and took a step closer.

“Hey! Maybe if I suck it, it’ll get bigger!” he offered cheerfully.

Dick only turned redder.

.              .              .              .              .

Bruce found Harry in front of the bathroom door, the front of his shirt drenched as he was knocking on the door.

“Dick, c’mon! it was just a joke!” the boy called.  
“You’re actually a very nice size! Let me in!”

“What’s going on here?” Bruce asked confused.

Harry turned to look at him and grinned mischievously.

“Dick doesn’t like shower sex, apparently,” he said.

Bruce’s eyes widened in shock at the bold words. He might not be a saint himself, and he knew Harry was… shameless, but he hadn’t expected that, not even from him.

“I’m not having sex with you anywhere!” Dick shouted from inside the bathroom.  
“Not now, not ever! Stop being such a nasty pervert you asshole!”

“Alright!” Harry shouted back, pouting sulkily.  
“Seems like you deserve your name anyway…”

Bruce snorted despite himself.

.              .              .              .              .

Dick avoided Harry for the rest of the day, even succeeding in hiding somewhere in the house Harry couldn’t find him. It was so annoying, Harry reverted to being as annoying as he possibly could and broke several priceless art pieces, much to Alfred’s anger. The butler tried to scold Harry several times, but gave up when Harry didn’t stop parroting him.

Eventually, Bruce had send him back to Dick’s room and promised to find the other boy. Frustrated, Harry grabbed his phone and dialed Gabe’s number.

 _“Harry?”_ Gabe asked curiously.

“Dick disappeared on me,” Harry whined.

_“What? Why’s that?”_

“Sexual harassment.”

_“Dude! Don’t rape Dick!”_

Harry scowled annoyed and pouted.

“Gross! I just made a dick joke and suggested I’d suck him off!”

 _“… No wonder you scared him off…”_ Gabe sighed.

Harry swallowed nervously and closed his eyes.

“H-he’ll come back… right?” he whispered worried.  
“Maybe… Maybe I should leave? He might not want to see me again…”

“… No…”

Harry jumped and turned his head, looking wide-eyed at Dick, who stood in the door post, staring at his feet with a guilty expression and tears in his eyes.

“Of course I don’t want you to leave,” Dick whispered.  
“I just freaked out a little. It’s was stupid, I’m sorry.”

Harry dropped his phone and leapt off the bed into Dick’s arms, who easily wrapped them around his friend and hugged him tightly. The boys stayed like that for a while until Gabe calling Harry’s name worriedly through the phone had them separate again. With an amused chuckle, Dick grabbed the phone and pressed it against his ear while still holding Harry’s hand.

“Hey. Sorry for stealing Harry away, but him and I have some talking to do,” Dick said.

_“I understand. See you guys tomorrow at the party!”_

“Bye Gabe!” Harry called right before Dick ended the call.

.              .              .              .              .

_He couldn’t move. He was completely stuck, utterly vulnerable to the whims of the cruel being looming over him. He was nothing but a shadow to Harry, but he knew exactly who it was. And he knew he would never leave alive._

_“Harry,” the man purred lowly, making the teen shiver._

_“Harry~”_

_“Harry!”_

“Wake up!”

“AH!” Harry shouted, his eyes flying open as he was shoved out of the bed.  
“What the hell, Richard! You’re such an ass! I was sleeping!”

“You were freaking out,” Dick replied dryly.

Harry blinked in surprise.

“I was?” he asked confused.

“You were crying about being tied up and not liking it,” Dick replied before hesitating.  
“… Y-you were also saying ‘it hurt’ and ‘you didn’t like it’ and something about an uncle?”

Harry swallowed harshly and looked away.

“Just a bad dream,” he mumbled quietly.

“Bullshit!” Dick deadpanned.  
“You’ve been tense since you arrived and you barely slept yesterday night.”

Harry snorted and rolled out of bed.

“It’s my birthday. We should talk about happy stuff!” he cheered.

“… Harry…” Dick sighed, looking at his friend with a worried expression.

“Please, Dick. I just want to forget about it,” Harry said, giving the other a pleading look.

“… Fine. I won’t talk about it _today_ ,” Dick muttered reluctantly.

.              .              .              .              .

Harry received a text message from Tom not long after he’d gotten out of bed, wishing him a happy birthday and saying he would be getting a present when they saw each other again at Diagon Alley before he’d start his next year at Hogwarts. Tom also told him he’d gotten an intern place at the Bulgarian Ministry of Magic, where Krum’s father was a very high-up official. He was going to be the Minister’s assistant for the summer.

After breakfast, the doorbell rang for the first time and Bette came barreling in, throwing herself in Harry’s arms with a happy squeal. The dark haired teen laughed cheerfully and twirled the blonde around before putting her back down.

“I’ve been gone for a couple months and you change from a sweet girl into a hot babe!” he exclaimed.

“You silly goose!” Betty laughed, kissing his cheek.  
“Happy birthday, Harry! You look pretty good yourself.”

Harry blushed and pressed his hands to his cheeks with a shy giggle.

“Oh, jeez…” he muttered quietly.

Bette and Dick laughed amused at Harry’s little act and moved to the living room, which Alfred and Bruce had decorated for the party. The three already started the party on Harry’s request, who turned on the music as loud as possible and grabbed Bette to dance. The blonde laughed loudly at this and allowed Harry to lead her around in a Tango on Metallica.

A while later, the doorbell rang again and Dick walked away to let whoever it was in. Moments later, he came back followed with Barbara. The redhead chuckled as she saw Harry and Bette slow dance on Skrillex. Harry stopped instantly when he saw Barbara and ran over.

“Red babe! Dance with me!” he shouted.

This earned him a foot in the stomach, making him double over, coughing in pain.

“That’s fucking rude!” he groaned.

Barbara chuckled softly and squatted down next to him, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Happy birthday, Harry,” she said.

“You’re still a bitch, you know.”

The redhead just winked and walked over to Bette, who instantly scolded her for hurting Harry. On his birthday no less. Barbara just scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“He deserved it,” she said.

“I just wanted to dance!” Harry whined.

“Every time you come close to me, you start acting sexual and it creeps me out!”

Harry chuckled and shrugged.

“I’m a sexual guy,” he said, winking at Bette.

The blond giggled and fanned her face with her hand. Dick and Barbara rolled their eyes and smiled amused before the doorbell rang again. Harry this time joined Dick to go open the door and welcomed Gabe with a tight hug, which was eagerly returned by the pale brunette.

“Gabe!” he shouted happily.

“Glad to see you again too, Harry,” the brunette laughed.

“Hello.”

Harry pulled back from his friend and looked surprised at the black haired girl standing at the bottom of the stairs. She was wearing a purple tank-top and jeans booty shorts. She looked pretty hot, but a niggling feeling in the back of Harry’s mind told him that he knew her.

“Hi! You’re pretty!” Harry piped up instantly.

Dick and the girl both chuckled and she stepped closer, stepping up next to Dick before handing out a present towards Harry.

“It’s nice to meet you, Harry. Happy birthday!” she said.

“Harry. This is Zatanna, my girlfriend,” Dick said proudly.

Zatanna. That’s how he knew her. She was the daughter of Zatara, the magic-using superhero. How did Dick know superheroes? He didn’t show he knew who she was though and just smiled brightly, looking between his best friend and the new girl. He clapped his hands happily and cheered loudly.

“You’re dating!” he shouted gleefully.  
“You are dating! You have a girlfriend! I’m so proud!”

He was jumping up and down in excitement, making the couple blush brightly and Gabe laughed amused. Still, there was a sharp, knowing glint in the brunette’s eyes that assured Harry his partner in crime was also well aware who the new girl was.

Harry handed his present over to Gabe and grabbed Dick and Zatanna by their wrists, dragging them inside and towards the party room, where Barbara and Bette were sitting together, talking to one another in soft tones. As Harry stormed in with his entourage, the girls looked up and smiled.

“Dick has a girlfriend!” Harry shouted loudly.

“We know,” Barbara said smirking.  
“That’s the fun thing about going to the same school.”

Harry pouted and looked at Dick.

“Why am I always the last to know?” he whimpered.

“I’m sorry!” Dick laughed.

Harry huffed and stuck up his nose as if offended. The whole group laughed amused at that, but Dick grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him away towards the kitchen.

“Let’s go get some snacks!” he said.

Harry scowled, suspecting Dick had another reason to pull him along like that. As soon as they were in the kitchen, Harry sat down on top the table and cocked his head expectantly.

“Are you upset?” Dick asked softly, startling Harry.

“Upset about what?” he asked confused.

“About Zatanna,” Dick replied, shrugging lamely.  
“I invited her so you could meet her, but after yesterday…”

This had Harry laugh loudly and he jumped off the table again, slapping his friend on the shoulder with a bright, amused grin.

“I’m literally addicted to sex, Dick,” he said chuckling.  
“Sex has nothing to do with feelings. Sure, I like you and I want to suck you off, but I’m not in love with you! Don’t worry. I won’t come onto you again, or on your girlfriend. You’re cute together.”

Dick smiled relieved and Harry threw his arm over his friend’s shoulders.

“I love you like a brother, Dick,” Harry said.  
“But, you know, we’re not related, so we could fuck if we wanted to.”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t come onto me again,” Dick teased, pulling Harry’s arm off him.

“I was just pointing it out,” Harry laughed, putting up his hands.

.              .              .              .              .

Harry waved cheerfully as he stepped into the car with Gabe and Dave after the party. Dick and his girlfriend were standing in the door, waving back with bright grins on their faces and their hands clasped together. Zatanna was staying the night, and Barbara and Bette had already left about an hour earlier. As soon as they drove away, though, his smile fell and he took on a pondering expression.

“Gabe. You recognized her too, didn’t you?” he said slowly.

The teen next to him tensed before nodding slowly.

“Hard not to notice,” he muttered.  
“It’s not like she’s hiding her identity.”

Harry grunted and nodded in agreement. He looked over at the front of the car. Luckily, the car was a refurbished and repainted taxi, and the window between them was shut, so Dave couldn’t hear a word they were saying.

“Now how and why does _our_ Dick get together with little miss super witch?” Harry asked darkly.

Unless, of course, he was one of them. And Harry had a good idea which one.

 


	85. Metropolis Crime Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to proofread it, so forgive any errors I made ^_^'
> 
> WARNING: Forced Suicide

There was a Floo system from Blüdhaven to Metropolis, where there was another small wizarding community. This made it easy for Harry to join his family, who’s gone there a few days back for some business with Lex Luthor. He and Joker apparently had some big plans together to get rid of the Justice League. Harry didn’t really have much hope it would work, but it was important to try, right?

From the magical District, he apparated to the Hideout Aunt Kate and Jane had set up for the gang whenever they needed to be in town, where he was immediately greeted by his family. His mom was on him in an instant, grabbing him into a tight hug with a happy squeal.

“I’m so happy ya could make it!” she shouted.

“Thanks, mom. I’m happy too,” Harry murmured.

He had to bite back a flinch when his mother grabbed him. Harley didn’t seem to notice, and neither did Sirius, who was playing with Hailey, along with Kate and Jane. However, Harry noticed his dad narrowing his eyes in suspicion, making Harry’s chest tighten with a sting of fear.

“How was your birthday, kiddo?” Joker asked, ruffling Harry’s hair.

This made the teen instantly relax. It was something ingrained in his very being. When someone rubbed his scalp, his body flooded with endorphins. Joker may look like Voldemort, but he was a completely different person. Joker wouldn’t hurt him like that. They were a family after all. Joker cared for him. It may not be love, but Harry was pretty sure neither of them could truly love.

“I had a lot of fun,” Harry said brightly, grinning at his dad.  
“How is everything going here? No problems with the League yet?”

“Not yet. But they’re already on our tail,” Joker replied.  
“How about you come along and I show you the plans? We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

This had Harry scowl. His dad knew Harry wouldn’t be joining in on his schemes with the bald corporate prick. He had his own plans for his stay in Metropolis. He had sent his dad a copy of his plan to make sure everything would work. After all, creating a magical ritual was very tricky business and the Joker had more experience in it than Harry, who had barely participated in a few of them.

Maybe that was what his dad wanted to talk about. Maybe there was something wrong with it, or his dad didn’t agree with it or something. It made him a little worried.

“What do you want to talk about, dad?” he asked nervously once they were out of the room.

“How are you holdin’ up, kid?” Joker asked suddenly, surprising Harry with the mild concern in his voice.  
“You’ve been tense ever since you came back from staying with my bro and you’ve been having nightmares too. I figured hanging out with you little buddy would help with that. He always does, right? Like your own private little therapist or something, but the way you reacted to Harley just now…”

Harry looked down and swallowed his bile down. Sometimes, his dad knew too much.

“I-I guess I just don’t like him…” he mumbled, shrugging lamely.

“Bullshit,” Joker scoffed, rolling his eyes.  
“But hey, you don’t have to tell me. I probably wouldn’t care any way.”

It stung a little, but Harry knew it was true. His dad very rarely cared about those kind of things.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s nothing, I promise,” he sighed.

A heavy hand landed on Harry’s head and scratched his scalp as Joker chuckled deeply.

“Whatever he did to you to make you this jumpy. It won’t happen again,” the Joker promised grinning.  
“You won’t have to be around him if you don’t want to. Hell. We can sever all ties with him. Me and Sirius can tutor you ourselves. We’ll even invite that werewolf. Or we’ll move you to Ilvermorny.”

Harry blinked in surprise at that.

“R-really!?” he asked shocked.

“Sure. Just make sure that’s what you want,” Joker shrugged.  
“You wanted to see the world burn, right? To do that, we’ll need him.”

“Then what should I do?” Harry asked his dad, scowling.

“Dunno. You’re the one in control here, Harry. Remember that,” his father laughed.  
“But being in control doesn’t always mean being dominant. Sometimes it’s submitting that gives you the most power.”

“You want me to submit to Voldemort?” Harry exclaimed horrified.

“Nah. Do what you want, kiddo,” the Joker shrugged, smirking down at the teen.  
“He’s a tool to us, nothing more, nothing less. Use him or don’t use him, but if you do, let him think it’s his decision. Make it look like _you’re_ working for him.”

This had Harry smirk and he nodded his head. He could use Voldemort instead of being used if he just played his cards right. That would be the perfect revenge for how he had been treated during his last week at Grimmauld Place.

“You always know what to say to make me feel better. Thanks, daddy.”

.              .              .              .              .

Child’s Play watched the young female from behind a few bookcases. She was kind of pretty in a nerdy way. She was a bit on the chubby side, but not to the point of obesity. Her dark hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and she had ugly square glasses. She’d no doubt clean up nicely, which was pretty perfect for the young villain.

Grinning darkly, he dropped several books loudly and quickly moved to hide behind one of the pillars. Really, whoever said that being a librarian was a safe job? She was all alone in the library, closing up while it was already dark out. Child’s Play bet she probably lived alone too. How long would it take for anyone to notice she was gone? Time to find out.

“Hello? Is anyone still there?!” the girl called out somewhat nervously.

Child’s Play kept quiet and waited while the librarian walked over and, with an annoyed sigh, started picking up the books that had been dropped. When she was too busy to notice him, the Prince Heir of Crime came out of his hiding and pointed his wand at her.

“Imperio!” he muttered.

A yellow cloud billowed out and blew into the girl’s face, entering her ears, nose and mouth before a dull yellow sheen clouded her eyes. She dropped the books and slowly rose to her feet at Harry’s silent command. Not looking back, she walked out of the library.

Child’s Play grinned and pocketed his wand again. One done, eleven more to go. This plan was going to be epic! He’d end up in the history books for sure with this one! And it had the added bonus that he finally got to vent properly. After being left completely helpless by Voldemort, it was great to have this kind of control over someone. This was exactly the kind of therapy he needed at the moment.

.              .              .              .              .

Child’s Play aimed the camera at the twelve-pointed star and pressed the record button as the twelve girls, all under the Imperius curse, held their ceremonial daggers up to their chests. One of them, a blonde girl with very pretty blue eyes and a large bust turned to the camera at Harry’s silent command and started speaking.

“We are the sisters of the Vagina Duck,” she spoke up loudly in a proud voice, making Child’s Play almost lose his cool at the silly name.  
“We are here today because we are sick of being controlled by society. We gave our all to you, but it was never enough for you. We were stepped on! Mistreated! Objectified by misogynous pigs that lead our country and we have had enough!”

She took a deep breath and raised her knife, her eyes glinting with determination.

“So, we will do one last act,” she said calmly.  
“One that will shake the world. One that will _matter_.”

With that, she turned back to face the middle of the star along with the other girls. All of them had raised their hands up to the sky, their knives clasped tightly in one hand.

“We all pledge and sacrifice our souls, power and bodies to the Chosen One!” they all chanted together.  
“He will deliver us from the chains of society and morality and strike down the corporate leaders! All hail the One Who Lived!”

As one being, the twelve girls repeated the last sentence in chorus and let their knives come down slashing at their throats. Child’s Play watched gleefully as blood sprayed in the air like red fountains and soaked the middle of the star. The black lines started glowing a bright purple and all the blood rolled to the middle, where it formed a blood red rubber ducky. Grinning, Child’s Play pulled the hood of his black cloak over his head and stepped over the bodies towards the middle of the circle where he picked up the blood ducky.

As he took the duck in his hands, he turned towards the camera and slowly walked up, creating what he hoped was a menacing aura to the video. Once he stood up close, he paused and slowly lowered his hood again, showing his painted face and bright green hair to the world. Grinning, he pulled at his eye and stuck out his tongue at the camera.

“Bleh!” he laughed before turning it off.

That was one part of the ritual done. Tomorrow, he’d send the video to the Daily Planet and continue with his ritual. At the end of it, he’d be unstoppable!

.              .              .              .              .

Child’s Play drew the Pentagram in blood on the floor of the abandoned house just outside of Metropolis. The Justice League was looking for him, and word had it that even the kiddy Team had flown over just for him. It was such an honor, really.

Child’s Play giggled in excitement and pulled out his little cheat-sheet to make sure he was still doing it right. He was pretty sure he was, after all, he’d written the Ritual himself, but one could never be careful enough with these kind of things. One mistake and he may just blow half the city up.

  1. **_Draw a Pentagram in old men’s blood_**
  2. **_Put the following items in a copper bowl in the middle of the pentagram_**
    * **_Blood of 12 virgin sacrifices_**
    * **_6 puppy eyeballs – freshly kicked_**
    * **_Snake blood_**
    * **_1 bat heart_**
    * **_3 paperclips_**
    * **_1 subway coupon_**
    * **_1 rubber band_**
    * **_REMEMBER, THE SUBWAY COUPON IS THE KEY_**



Grinning widely, Child’s Play put the copper bowl in the middle of the Pentagram before taking out the blood ducky from his pocket, dropping it in the bowl. Before taking out the other ingredients. It had taken him two days to collect it all, and he had to run away from the cops when they had caught him kicking a puppy.

 ** _*The last ingredient, Malinda,*_** he hissed at his partner.

 ** _*I’m not happy with this,*_** the snake grumbled, slithering over.

Child’s Play chuckled and pulled out a syringe. Malinda hissed as he pressed the needle into her scaly skin. Child’s Play quickly extracted the blood he needed and added the full syringe to the bowl. After that, he looked up his list again to see what the next step was.

  1. **_Fill the bowl with strong liquor and set it on fire_**
  2. **_Once the fire is gone, sprinkle the remaining ashes on a chocolate cake and eat it_**



The insane teen laughed softly at his own ingeniousness and put a plastic container with a piece of chocolate cake on the table to the side before pulling out a bottle of Vodka. After taking a little swig, he poured the contents of the bottle in the bowl. It splashed all over and onto the dirty wood floor. The whole house would probably end up burning, but Child’s Play didn’t particularly care. He wouldn’t be hanging around for too long once he was done.

He snapped his fingers, creating a bright orange spark that instantly set the bowl on fire. For the next couple of minutes, Child’s Play just watched the fire as he contained it to only the bowl by pure power of will as he heated it beyond a normal fire to speed up the process. He wasn’t an idiot to think he wasn’t being chased. His dad and Luthor may be gaining the most attention from the League itself, but there were still the Juniors. No doubt they would be bursting in eventually and he preferred to be done by then already. He may just be able to give them a little surprise.

Once the fire finally started dying down, Child’s Play released his grip on it, letting it spread to the floor before picking up the red hot bowl. He winced as his hands burned, but didn’t make more sound than just a quiet groan of pain. He was probably going to be in way more pain once the transformation set in anyway.

.              .              .              .              .

Child’s Play was finishing his cake in front of the burning house when they arrived. The alien chick’s invisible spaceship appeared above his head and the group jumped out. The villain watched with a disinterested gaze at them all. Robin, Batgirl, Artemis, Kid Flash, Rocket, Miss Martian, Aqualad, Superboy and Zatanna. A dark smirk crossed the teenage clown’s features and he slowly swallowed the last bite before rising to his feet.

“Too late. Party’s already over,” he stated calmly.  
“Still thanks for coming, I guess. Next time I’ll put an address on the invitations.”

“What were you doing, Child’s Play,” Robin asked, stepping forward.

“Does it matter? Let’s just send him back to Arkham with his mommy and daddy!” Kid Flash exclaimed.

“It matters, because maybe I have more people ready to kill themselves,” Child’s Play teased, winking.  
“I’m no idiot! I made precautions! You try to catch me, and ten more people die by tomorrow morning.”

This had the Team tense up and they stared at the villain in horror. Robin was the only one who looked suspicious. And he crossed his arms.

“How do we know you’re not lying?” he asked.

Child’s Play laughed and jumped up and down in excitement.

“Always so smart!” he shouted happily.  
“You got me, Birdie! I lied! Hahaha! Don’t need that kind of tricks anyway! I- Ugh!”

Halfway his spiel, Child’s Play doubled over and whined in pain, grasping at his head. There was an awful thumping in his skull, as if his brain was trying to get out or something. It was truly agonizing. A second wave of pain had his knees buckle and he fell on the ground. He planted one hand firmly on the ground and bowed his head forward until his chin rested against his sternum. His other hand was still rubbing his throbbing head, trying to soothe the sting.

“Ouch… heh… heh… I kinda hoped it wouldn’t hurt this much…” he groaned.

“What the hell is going on?!” he heard Superboy shout out.

“I-I think he did some kind of ritual…” Zatanna spoke up.

Her voice made bile rise up in Child’s Play’s throat and anger clench in his gut. She was getting in his way. _He_ was Dick’s best friend! _He_ was the most important person in Dick’s life! … and in Robin’s too…

Child’s Play screamed in agony as his bones broke and realigned themselves, growing longer and slimmer while his skin turned hard and smoother, slowly going from Caucasian to a shiny, pitch black. His skull grew longer, and from his spine, a tail started to grow. For what felt like an eternity, but was probably closer to half a minute, the intensely painful transformation continued until it was done and in the place of the young villain stood a creature with a vertebrate-like body, a protective exoskeleton, a long flexible tail, an elongated domed head with nearly invisible eyes near the mouth.

“What the hell is that?!” Artemis shouted horrified.

“Oh my god! He turned into a Xenomorph!” Kid Flash exclaimed almost at the same time.

“A what?” Artemis asked.

“A Xenomorph! Jeez! Have you never seen Alien?!”

“Uh, guys? I think we have bigger problems than whether or not we saw some movie…” Zatanna said slowly.

Fury burned in the alien’s stomach again and he charged at her with an angry hiss, his long tail swishing behind him violently. Instantly, the rest of the Team was on the move too. Kid Flash was the first to get to the alien, who was able to dodge just in time and tripped the speedster with his tail.

“Aaargh!”

Superboy came charging up, his fists raised and ready to pound the alien to a pulp. The alien swiftly dodged underneath the punch and slammed his shoulder against the heroic teen’s stomach, forcing him back and on his knees. The alien advanced slowly, his toothed maw opened and a second, smaller maw came out, snapping viciously towards Superboy. A sudden arrow in the shoulder had him stop and turned towards Artemis, who was already drawing a second one. Yellow acid dropped to the ground from the wound, making the floor hiss and leave scorch marks.

The alien decided not to pursue the archer or the Kryptonian clone. Instead, he zoned in on Zatanna again. He dodged past Robin and Batgirl and slammed into Aqualad before he could solidify his water for an attack. His tail was already raised to pierce the magician’s chest, but then he suddenly slammed into a forcefield. His head turned instantly towards Rocket, who was holding him into a bubble. He knew he could escape, but all the others were back on their feet again, so he wouldn’t get far.

With a sigh, Child’s Play turned back into himself. He carded a hand through his hair, pulling it forward a little to ensure it was still green. He laughed softly and sat down on the bottom of the bubble, grinning at the group.

“Whelp… Looks like you got me,” he said casually.

“Alright. _How did you do that?!_ ” Kid Flash shouted.

Child’s Play smirked and looked over at Robin.

“Why don’t you ask your buddy?” he asked darkly.  
“That’s why you keep them around, right Greyson?”

Robin tensed and his eyes widened in horror, making Child’s Play’s grin widen. The green haired villain threw his head back and laughed high-pitched.

“And then you dare to call _me_ evil!” he laughed.  
“You use them both, don’t you? Unknowing little spies! I wonder how little Harry would react when he finds out he was only just a tool to you…”

He really did wonder. He had no idea what he’d do when he found out that was exactly what he had been to Dick since the beginning. His friend was one of the very few people he truly cared about after all.

“H-how-…” Robin muttered wide-eyed.

“I’m a smart cookie!” Child’s Play laughed.  
“Don’t worry. I won’t tattle… yet…”

“What do you want?” Aqualad asked darkly.

“Hmmmm… I would say ‘don’t come after me’, but I know you’re way too determined to do _good_ , so I’m not gonna bother,” he replied shrugging.  
“I won’t tell anyone about you for personal reasons. After all, who will play with me if you’re gone~”

“Let’s just get the little freak to Arkham,” Artemis muttered.

“Oh~ Are you flirting with me? You’re not really my type though. I don’t go for bitches.”

Artemis stepped forward threateningly, but was held back by Kid Flash, making Child’s Play laugh cackling before blowing them a raspberry. The bubble suddenly disappeared and Robin and Batgirl were instantly there to haul Child’s Play to his feet and cuff his hands behind his back.

“Don’t you dare do anything to Harry or Gabe,” the dark haired male hissed warningly.

“Would I ever~?” Child’s Play shot back teasingly.

“Yes? You _just_ killed twelve women!” Batgirl replied scowling.

“Actually, they did that all by themselves!” Child’s Play replied with a giggle.  
“Well, I _may_ have suggested it, but I wasn’t the one slitting their throats, now was I?”

“Shut it!” Batgirl growled.  
“We all know that was you!”

Child’s Play just giggled innocently and allowed the duo to lead him away.

.              .              .              .              .

“Hiya!” Harry greeted cheerfully as the Joker was wheeled past his cell.

The man was tied to a gurney and taken to his own cell a bit further into the Asylum where the most dangerous of all were being held while Harley was pushed into her own cell across from Harry’s own. They were brought in by Superman and Batman, making Harry grin wider and he slammed his hands against the glass.

“Oi! Supes!” he yelled loudly.  
“How does it feel knowing your clone can’t even _touch_ me without the help of eight other supposed _superheroes_?!”

The man of steel ignored him, making Harry pout sadly, so he turned to Batman.

“Heh… Two of your _apprentices_ and they still don’t stand a chance…”

“If I were you, I’d be _really_ worried about the future of this little blue boll if that’s the next generation of the League…”

“And yet here you are, locked in a cell,” Batman replied coolly.

“Heheheheheh. Not for long, Batsy!” Joker cackled.

Harry and Harley burst out laughing as well, making the two heroes and the six Arkham guards all frown.

 


	86. Arkham Isolation

Harry spend the next three days in his brand now Animagus form, mostly just standing still or pacing in his cell, staring at anyone and everyone that passed by. It terrified the guards and doctors to the point they had to let Harley bring him his food since no one else dared to get too close to the cell. They were all damn lucky that the glass was unbreakable otherwise Harry would have long killed all of them.

It was pretty funny to see them all run past him, white faced and whimpering in fear. He wanted to scare them ever more, so when one of his lesser liked guards walked by, he slammed hard against the glass, tearing a high-pitched girly scream from the burly man. Harry gave a snicker, which sounded low and menacing in his alien form and backed away again.

“You smug little bitch!” the guard snarled hatefully.  
“I wish they’d just allow us to put you and your freak daddy on the electric chair…”

Harry snorted and turned away, swiping with his long tail almost lazily. The sharp tip of his tail slammed straight into the glass and shattered it. Harry was just as surprised as the guard. The glass walls were supposed to unbreakable after all, but maybe the slamming had weakened it incredibly. The large mouth curled into a vicious grin and he shot forward faster than the guard could react and jumped on top of him. Harry’s alien mouth opened wide, letting the smaller second mouth come out to rip out the man’s throat before he had a chance to scream.

Once he was done, Harry jumped up in the vents, like he remembered from the videogame he had once played. He wondered if he could reenact Isolation… That would be so much fun!

He crawled silently through the vents until he reached the security room. He listened carefully to the two men inside, talking together while looking through the cameras. He heard the exact moment they came across the camera from the hallway his and Harley’s cells were at and saw the corpse of the dead guard lying in the middle in a pool of blood.

“What the hell?!” one of them shouted.

“Sound the alarm! It’s Child’s Pl-”

Harry jumped that instant on top of the man speaking while lashing his tail out towards the other man, piercing through his chest just as his ripped out the other man’s tongue and part of his throat out of his mouth. When they were both dead, Harry transformed back into himself and giggled happily, dancing around in the blood for a little while before turning off all locks and alarms before using a strong burst of magic to blow the control panel up.

Satisfied, he transformed back into his alien Animagus and jumped back into the vents. Three more security rooms to go, or less if he could cut off the electricity directly. He probably should try that first. It would give him a bigger chance to kill off everyone before help could arrive.

.              .              .              .              .

 _“We’ve been stuck here for nearly three hours now. All the crew has already been slaughtered by the creatures and so have most of the inmates…”_ Sirius spoke in a low voice into the a recorder.  
_“The survivors have banded together in small groups, like ours. There is no electricity, limited weapons and many survivors seem to have gone insane… Or more likely already were, since this is an Asylum…”_

Harry laughed amused while Ivy and Riddler rolled their eyes. Sirius just grinned at them and winked at his girlfriend before focusing back on his recorder.

_“One of us is only a child-”_

“Hey!”

 _“I fear we may not survive for long in this hell. The more insane inmates that survived already made it very clear that the new rule is kill or be killed…”_ Sirius continued with a grave expression.  
_“There are so many already dead… hundreds, no doubt. Some slaughtered by the other survivors, some… alright, a lot killed by us, and…_ Pup, how many did the ‘creature’ kill?”

Harry grinned and looked at his tattoo. It already said 115, making him glow with pride. It had only been 16 when he had it set originally and another 12 had been added with the virgin sacrifices.

“Eighty-seven!” he replied with a bright grin.

“Wowzers!” his mother marveled, her eyes widening in awe.

“What a beast!” Joker agreed laughing, clapping Harry on the back.

The green haired teen grinned proudly and puffed out his chest.

“Yes, we’re all very proud and whatever,” Riddler sighed.  
“How about we get the hell out of here now, alright?”

“Gladly,” Ivy said smirking.

“Can we record an attack and a lot of screaming first?” Harry asked innocently.

“Yeah! And leave some unrecognizable mangled corpses behind!” Sirius chimed in.  
“Maybe we can trick everyone into thinking we died too!”

“We’ll act as if I suddenly turned on you and killed you all!” Harry exclaimed, jumping up and down.

“Let’s go find some ‘dead us’ then, shall we?” Joker cackled, throwing the door open.

.              .              .              .              .

They quickly found and killed three men and a woman, all with about the same body types as the Joker, Harley, Sirius and the Riddler. Since there was no one with the same green skin as Ivy, they agreed that she would supposedly escape death by breaking out of the building, releasing ‘the creature’ as well.

Grinning, a blood, covered Sirius pressed record again to record his own murder.

 _“Things are getting worse,”_ he started in a grave tone.  
_“We’re all going mad… madder… The kid is off worst. He’s laughing and covered in blood… Eddy asked him if he knew something more about that creature and he ran off, giggling like a maniac…”_

Harry made a scene in slamming the door open and closed again before giggling madly.

“Hey~ I’m back~!” he greeted, although he hadn’t left at all in the first place.

To make everything look more realistic, Joker stepped forward and slapped the teen in the face harshly.

“Don’t hit our baby, Puddin!” Harley screamed.

Unlike the others, she wasn’t acting at all. After all, there was no script. She was just upset Joker had hit Harry that hard. There was even a red print left on his cheek, which he rubbed with a little pout.

“Where the fuck do you think you went, you little brat?!” Joker shouted dramatically.

“I went to play tag, daddy~” Harry replied with a deranged giggle.

“Play tag? We’re in a _crisis_!” Ivy scolded, though she was still grinning, making Harry laugh softly at her.

“Let’s find us a way out of here already,” Riddler spoke up.

Harry laughed and walked over to a desk, throwing everything on it on the floor, causing a ruckus.

“What the hell?!” Ivy shouted, unable to keep the grin off her face.

“Wanna see a magic trick?” Harry asked cheerfully.

With that, he quickly turned into his Xenomorph Animagus for. His mom made a point in screaming loudly, making Joker and Riddler curse genuinely in surprise and pain.

“Kid, what the hell are you doing?!” Joker called.  
“Stay the fuck away! What’s gotten into you?!”

Harry jumped on top the corpse that was supposed to be Joker and started ripping it apart. Joker himself screamed and gurgled as if he was really dying, while the others faked panic.

“Puddin!” Harley yelled.  
“Baby, why d-did ya-…”

Harry growled and jumped on top of another corpse, ripping that apart as well, making Harley squeal loudly as if she was in pain. This went on for a while like that, with Sirius, Ivy and Riddler yelling and freaking out until Harry ‘killed’ the two men as well.

“Fuck this! Stay away from me!” Ivy yelled before breaking a large hole in the side of the wall.

They had locked themselves in, but thanks to magical surveillance, they had been able to keep an eye on the whole Asylum. The police had already blocked off all conventional exits and Batman was making his way through, taking in all the surviving inmates and fighting off the rogue villains such as Scarecrow, Killer Crock and Bane. Which meant that if they went out back and snuck towards the fence. That should be far enough out of the anti-magical field erected around the building to apparate them all out.

Harry waited for all the others to crawl out before he growled again loudly, just for show. He grabbed the recorder, smirking as he got blood all over it from his sharp claws and turned it off before transforming back to human and following his family. Their little trick wouldn’t fool anyone for long, since it would become clear pretty quickly that all the lacerations were done post-mortem, but they only needed a small window anyway. And hopefully, there would still be some media attention to Joker’s ‘death’ either way. After all, this was more of a publicity stunt than an escape attempt.

.              .              .              .              .

“Harry!” Dick called out as he saw his friend walk over to him.

Just as usual, they were meeting up at the park the day before Harry would go back to England for school. This time, they were both a little tenser than usual, thanks to their new discoveries about one another. Neither of them knew how much they could trust the other.

“Hey there! Had to wait long?” Harry asked, grinning brightly.

It didn’t fool Dick in the slightest. Usually, Harry would be more aggressively excited, jumping on Dick, hugging him and maybe even trying to kiss him. This time, he was hesitant to even approach. With a sigh, Dick patted the grass next to him and gave Harry a worried look.

“He told you, I guess?” Dick muttered.  
“Or maybe you told him… I still don’t know…”

Harry scowled and plopped down, leaving some space between the two of them. Dick was still scowling and refused to look at him, but Harry could still see he was a little relieved over the unusual space. This made Harry frown. It was expected of course, but he didn’t want to lose his best friend.

“I guess you mean Child’s Play with ‘him’, right?” he asked.  
“I told you before. We don’t talk to each other, but yeah, I know.”

“If you don’t talk, then how do you _both_ know?” Dick asked annoyed.  
“You’ve never met Robin and he hasn’t met Dick!”

Harry chuckled and shrugged.

“I just know you, and Child’s Play has his own little tricks,” he replied.

“I noticed. He turned into a Xenomorph…” Dick snorted.  
“Tried to attack Zatanna for some reason, even though he’s always had it out for me before.”

Harry scowled. Of all the things Dick could question, it had to be the fucking bitch. Still, he couldn’t lie to his best friend. Not really at least.

“Child’s Play is… very territorial,” he replied carefully.  
“But that was not what I meant. I meant that he can use magic.”

This had Dick’s eyes grow wide.

“Like, the same as Zatanna?” he asked shocked.

This made Harry hesitate for another second.

“Have you ever heard of Wizards?” he asked softly.

“… Yeah… They… Batman dealt with some before. They have a small community in Blüdhaven, I think. Do you think Child’s Play is one of them?”

“Child’s Play, Joker, me,….” Harry sighed.  
“I didn’t lie when I said I went to a Wizard school.”

Dick stared at him with his mouth agape in shock, making Harry chuckle amused.

“You’re a wizard?!” the dark haired boy whispered awed.  
“Like, with magic spells and stuff? And so is Child’s Play? Does he go to that special school too?”

“He doesn’t,” Harry denied with a grin.  
“Child’s Play doesn’t leave the States.”

He technically wasn’t lying. He left his Child’s Play persona behind when going to Hogwarts.

“So… is that why he hates Zatanna? Because she has magic too?”

“Nope. It’s because she’s too close to you,” Harry laughed.  
“He wants all of your attention. Anyone getting in his way has to go.”

Dick tensed and his eyes widened in shock.

“Is that why he ratted you out?” he asked surprised.  
“Because he wants the two of us to stop hanging out?”

Harry didn’t answer, not knowing how to do that at all anyway.

“Dick… are you… are we friends so you can spy on the Joker?” he asked softly.

For a few moments, Dick was quiet and Harry almost started thinking he wasn’t going to get an answer when he was suddenly hit on the arm.

“Ouch! What was that for?!” he shouted.

“For doubting me!” Dick replied, glaring at him.  
“We were friends long before I even became Robin. You were there for me when my parents died, you had my back against bullies at school! You’re my best friend in the world and I would never _ever_ use you like that or turn my back on you.”

Harry smiled and launched himself at Dick, who shouted in surprise as he was floored. Harry wrapped his arms tightly around his friend and rubbed his cheek against Dick’s.

“You promise?” he asked innocently.

“Of course I do!” Dick laughed.

“Good. And I’ll promise to always have your back.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it obvious I haven't watched a single Alien movie yet (does Prometheus count? I watched that one)


	87. Tense Shopping

Harry and his parents got a room in the Leaky Cauldron again, since Harry refused to go back to Grimmauld Place. Voldemort had been disappointed when they turned his offer down, but had accepted the decline it easily enough.

“Welcome back,” Tom spoke up pleasantly as he cleaned up the bar.  
“How was summer? You didn’t miss me too much, did you, cousin?”

Harry laughed and jumped over the bar to give Tom a proper hug. The bleached blonde didn’t push him away with a sneer like he usually did, but instead chuckled fondly and pulled Harry closer. When they let each other go, the younger teen was looking up at his fake cousin with a worried expression and he pressed his hand against Tom’s forehead.

“Are you sick?” he asked in a sincere tone, his eyes big and innocent.  
“Are you even Tom or are you someone else polyjuiced? What did you do to my cranky cousin?”

Tom scowled and smacked Harry’s hand away with a dark glare.

“Get off it you annoying little brat!” he hissed, making Harry laugh.

“There’s the Tommy I know and love!” the boy crowed.

Tom rolled his eyes and turned away to address another client, just as the door of the Leaky Cauldron opened and the man Harry wanted to see the least walked in. Harry instantly fell to his knees under the bar to avoid being seen by his uncle, making Tom raise a brow. Harry plastered a grin on his face and licked his lips suggestively.

“No,” Tom hissed.

Harry pouted and curled more into himself. He had hoped to take his mind off the beginning of summer, but it seemed Tom wasn’t in the mood. Or he took his job actually serious.

Tom handed another person his butterbeer and greeted Voldemort with a calm “Hello, father,” which Had Harry’s eyes widen.

“Ooh! Father!” Joker cackled, slamming his hands on the bar top.  
“Does that mean it’s finally official? Is my bro a daddy at last?”

“I am indeed,” Voldemort replied proudly.  
“Tom is my son since last week.”

“Congratulations ya two!” Harley squealed.  
“What do ya think ba… Baby? Where’s Harry?”

“I’ll go find him,” Tom suggested.

A moment later, Tom’s wand was pointing at Harry’s chest, turning him invisible before he walked out into the staff room. He left the door open long enough for Harry to slip in after him, which the younger teen immediately did before cancelling the charm the other had put on him.

“Thanks for not selling me out,” he said.

“If you’re thankful. Tell me what your problem is with Voldemort,” Tom scoffed.

Harry looked down and shrugged weakly.

“We just had a disagreement,” he muttered.

Tom snorted and grabbed Harry’s chin roughly, forcing the younger to look him in the eyes.

“And now the truth,” he said sternly.

“It is the truth!” Harry growled back with a scowl.

“Fine. What was the disagreement about?”

Harry was silent for a moment, reluctant to tell, but also knowing that Tom wouldn’t stop pressing until he knew. His cousin was smart, and he knew Harry more than most, maybe even more than his parents did. Probably.

“… The importance of consent,” he murmured embarrassed.

Tom tensed instantly, his dark eyes growing wide and flashing red. The sight made Harry flinch. For a short moment, Tom had looked exactly as Voldemort in his disguise. Except for the blond hair and his youthfulness.

“He raped you,” Tom stated coldly.  
“Why didn’t you stop him? Or tell someone?”

“Yeah. That would some over great!” Harry sneered, pulling out of Tom’s grip.  
“’Hey dad, so that brother of yours, you know, the one we resurrected? Yeah, I’ve been fucking him behind your back. Oh, and the other Tom too! But the week after my exams, Voldemort tied me to his bed with magical ropes and left me there to fuck me like the whore I actually am!’”

Tom sighed and rubbed his eyes in annoyance.

“You’re not a whore, Harry,” he muttered.

Harry tensed and his eyes shot open wide. He hadn’t expected Tom to disagree with that exclamation at all. The older teen usually called Harry such anyway, so why did he decide otherwise now of all times.

“Then what am I?” Harry asked softly.

“You’re Harry Quinzel. An annoying little brat and a pain in my arse,” Tom replied shrugging.  
“You’re an actor, a hero, an assassin, a criminal, a prankster, but most importantly, you’re you.”

Harry grinned brightly and jumped into Tom’s arms, taking the older teen by surprise as he pressed his lips against the other. They kissed for a few moments, letting their tongues rub around against one another until they pulled apart panting.

“If that was you thanking me, I should be nice more often,” Tom hummed thoughtfully.

“Please don’t,” Harry laughed.  
“I would start thinking you were kidnapped by aliens!”

Tom rolled his eyes and grabbed Harry’s arm.

“I’m on break. I’ll take you shopping,” he said.

“Uh… Okay, I guess?” Harry muttered.

He let the older teen pull him back out of the room towards where their parents were seated.

“Harry and I will be going out,” Tom announced calmly.

“Have fun ya two!” Harley replied instantly, grinning brightly at the boys.

“Don’t cause trouble,” Voldemort drawled in a bored tone, not even looking at them.

Harry rolled his eyes and childishly stuck out his tongue at his ‘uncle’ before wrapping his arms around Tom’s waist, clinging to him as they walked out into Diagon Alley. Surprisingly, the older teen didn’t make him let go and just slung a casual arm over Harry’s shoulders.

“I want to kill him,” Tom muttered, scowling.

“You and me both,” Harry chuckled bitterly.  
“But I need him, and I think you do too. At least for now.”

Tom glanced down, still scowling in displeasure before pointedly focusing back on the busy road.

“It doesn’t matter. I won’t leave you with him ever again,” he stated determined.  
“You’re mine, not his. I had you first. He won’t touch you again, I promise.”

Harry blinked a few times and blushed. Since when was Tom so protective? He’s never before been bothered by Harry’s sexual escapades.

“Thanks, but… Don’t make that promise,” Harry muttered.  
“I’m going to let him fuck me again anyway. It’s the easiest way to control him at least somewhat.”

Tom stopped and looked down weirdly at Harry.

“You plan on using him?” he asked incredulous.

“Yeah. He’s stupid enough to do it with,” Harry replied smirking.  
“He thinks he’s all that. No one can get to him, except maybe me.”

Tom snorted and started walking again, squeezing Harry closer to his side.

“Fine, but I’m still not leaving you alone with him,” he stated.

“That’s good. Maybe you can untie me then if he does it again.”

Tom chuckled and pulled Harry into Knockturn Alley. Once out of sight of the shoppers, Harry was forcefully pressed against a wall and his lips were claimed hungrily by Tom’s. The younger teen moaned softly and dug his hands into the soft blond curls of his favorite lover while opening his mouth to allow access to Tom’s eager tongue. They made out for several minutes before pulling away from each other. Harry was dizzy with lust, and he could see how desire was clouding Tom’s eyes as well.

“You wanna head back, or are we gonna fuck out here?” Harry asked bluntly.

“You’ll have to wait for that until tonight,” Tom replied smirking.  
“Right now, I have a birthday present for you.”

Harry’s eyes started sparkling instantly and he jumped up and down in excitement.

“Really! Is it something sexy? Is it a toy?” he asked hopeful.

“Better,” Tom said with a deep, evil chuckle.

He pulled out a locket from his pockets and showed it to Harry. It had a snake engraved in the green stone and Harry recognized it almost instantly as Slytherin’s supposedly lost Locket.

“Where’d you get that from?” he asked surprised.

He slowly reached out to it and touched the engravings gently, as if afraid it would break apart. He could feel something else about that Locket, something powerful and dark and incredibly intoxicating.

“It’s one of Voldemort’s Horcruxes,” Tom told him with a demonic grin.  
“He’s apparently too split apart to even sense them anymore, because that useless elf, Kreacher, had hidden it in the attic.”

Harry pulled his hand back instantly and frowned.

“Why are you giving it to me?” he asked confused.

“As leverage,” Tom replied with a smirk.  
“If he ever plans on hurting you, or he does hurt you, you can destroy it.”

Harry could do nothing but stare in silent awe at the artifact as Tom leaned forward to fasten it around Harry’s neck. The cool, heavy locket pressed against Harry’s chest, and he could almost feel the darkness inside of it trying to claw its way into his being, but he easily shut it out. There was a shield in his mind, one that had been in place for as long as he could remember. Not his own Arkham Asylum, where he had taken Snape, but a deeper one that protected his very soul.

He opened his mouth to thank Tom for the gift, but was stopped when a familiar figure approached. Harry’s eyes widened in shock when he saw none other than Cecilia Carp standing a few feet away from them, her brown eyes wide as she stared straight at Tom.

“Tom?” she asked softly.

Tom’s expression darkened momentarily before he smoothed his face into a charming, polite smile.

“Cecilia. It’s been a long time,” he greeted calmly.

The girl scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. Her soft, round boobs…

“Yes. After I finished your wand, you suddenly disappeared,” she scoffed.

“Forgive me, I had a lot on my mind,” Tom replied smoothly.  
“I was a Durmstrang student and I had no opportunity to return here.”

“Oh,” Cecilia mumbled, before her expression changed from upset to seductive.  
“Well, you’re back now. Would you like to go out for tea sometimes?”

“I would love to. My girlfriend and I are looking for apartments around the area, so we can meet up with you whenever,” Tom replied grinning.

There was something sharp and cruel in that grin that had Harry almost burst out laughing, especially when he saw the heartbroken expression on Cecilia’s face.

“Girlfriend?” he asked innocently.

“Yes, Fleur,” Tom agreed nodded, smirking down at Harry.  
“She’s got a job here at Gringotts. We’re planning on maybe living together.”

“So soon?” Harry asked perplexed.  
“You’ve only been dating for a couple of months!”

“Since last Christmas,” Tom said.  
“That’s already a little more than seven months.”

That was apparently too much for Cecilia, who mumbled a quick apology and hurried away towards her grandmother’s wand shop. Once she was well away, Harry couldn’t keep it to himself anymore and started cackling in amusement.

“So you’re really still dating her?” he asked amused.  
“I thought she was just a stupid fling!”

“Unlike you, I can actually keep a healthy relationship,” Tom drawled.  
“Besides, she is the daughter of the French minister. Her connections are useful.”

Harry rolled his eyes and dug his hands deep into his pockets.

“Since you’re not tapping Cecilia anymore, I think I’ll go visit her tomorrow, see if she might need a shoulder to cry on… or a dick to keep her pussy company,” he muttered.

“Crude as always,” Tom snorted.

The two continued talking as they walked back into the crowded Diagon Alley to finally do Harry’s school shopping. Just as they walked out of Flourish and Blotts, a reporter stopped them by flashing his camera in their face and taking a picture.

“Potter! How does it feel to be back after the tragedies last year?” he asked.  
“Could you give us a statement? What about the claims of Dumbledore that You-Know-Who has returned? Anything to say on that?”

Harry blinked a few times until the black dots that had appeared at the camera flash were gone and grinned at the man.

“I’m here, I’m queer and Voldemort is near.”

The reporter stopped smiling and stared at him in incredulity.

“He means that he has no statement for you,” Tom drawled.  
“Really, cousin. There is no reason to play games with such hardworking people.”

“But it’s fun~!” Harry whined.

“Wilson!”

Harry looked up when he heard a familiar female voice and started grinning happily as Rita Skeeter approached them.

“Miss Skeeter!” he shouted giddily.

“Please don’t bother Harry,” Skeeter told the other reporter.  
“I’ll take over. Harry and I are really close already, right darling?”

Harry blushed and giggled while glancing over to the male reporter apparently called Wilson, who slinked away again, muttering to himself.

“That’s so nice of you, miss Skeeter,” he mumbled shyly.

Tom looked between the two of them before smiling charmingly and holding out his hand towards the woman.

“Miss Rita Skeeter,” he said.  
“Harry told me so many great things about you. He’s quite smitten with you.”

“A pleasure,” Skeeter replied smirking, shaking Tom’s hand.  
“You seem familiar to me, but I don’t quite recall a name.”

“Thomas Napier,” Tom introduced himself.  
“I’m Harry’s cousin. My father and his adoptive father are brothers.”

“How wonderful to meet you!” Skeeter exclaimed excitedly.  
“Now, if you two don’t mind answering a few of my questions…?”

 


	88. Dolores Umbridge

As soon as Harry stepped onto the platform, he had his arms full of a blonde whirlwind better known as Luna Lovegood. The boy chuckled and hugged the girl tightly.

“That’s a nice greeting,” he murmured.

“I had nightmares about you.”

Harry tensed and let go of Luna, but the girl refused to release him and just buried her face in his shirt. To Harry’s utter shock, she was trembling. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly.

“Nightmares about what?” he asked.

“I-I don’t know…” she muttered.  
“Everything was dark and you were crying and begging… a-and you were in pain… and…and you were tied up, because you kept screaming about wanting to be untied…”

Harry’s eyes widened at that and he pushed Luna to arm’s length and looked at her with a stern expression on his face. Luna looked up with a pout and sniffed quietly.

“I’m better now, Luna,” he told her softly.  
“I’m not hurt, I’m not tied up and I’m not scared anymore.”

Luna wiped away her tears and gave Harry a watery smile before nodding her head in understanding.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Harry Quinn,” she mumbled.

“Me too. But do me a favor and _never_ mention your nightmares to anyone.”

Again, Luna nodded her head and her arms tightened around Harry’s middle, making the boy chuckle in amusement and he patter the girl’s back.

“Let’s go get on the train,” he said.  
“Can’t leave Drakey-poo waiting, right?”

This earned him a giggle and Luna finally let go of him. She was smiling again as she took his hand in hers and started skipping over to the bright red train. They went all the way to the back of the train, where they knew Draco and the others were waiting for them.

Draco, Blaise, Theo and Pansy were all already seated in one compartment, close to the compartment where Daphne and her girls were seated and the one where Crabbe and Goyle were stuffing their faces. As they entered, Theo had his nose deep into the Daily Prophet while Blaise read along over his shoulder.

“Oh, Merlin, no!” Draco groaned as he saw Harry.

“Harry! What did you do to your hair?” Pansy exclaimed slightly amused.

Harry laughed and combed his fingers through his black and gold striped hair while Luna giggled and sat down next to Draco.

“Don’t like my new style?” Harry asked teasingly.  
“I feel kinda… Hufflepuff-y this year, I guess.”

Draco rolled his eyes and huffed, giving Harry an annoyed glare before turning to Luna and starting a casual conversation on their holidays. The two blondes had been hitting it off a lot more last year.

“Harry,” Blaise said, pulling the newspaper from Theo’s hands and giving it to the striped-haired teen.  
“You _really_ have to read this thing. I think you’re going to like it…”

The Italian was smirking a little as he handed the Daily Prophet to Harry, who grinned back. He had a feeling he knew what this was about after all.

*

**_HARRY QUINN: DARK LORD IN THE MAKING OR TEEN DELINQUENT?_ **

_After the terrible incident in Metropolis (USA), where several young muggle girls committed mass suicide in the name of ‘The Chosen One’, many have questioned the purity of our young Boy Who Lived. Does he really have good intentions or is it all a scam and is he in reality gone dark? I Rita Skeeter took it upon myself to ask this and more pressing questions to Harry Quinzel (Quinn for his friends) himself._

_“I had no ideas this_ ‘Ritual’ _or whatever it was happened until last week,” Quinn answers my question.  
“I was on a holiday in Hawaii at the time with my family and only heard it once I returned to Blüdhaven.”_

_His cousin, Thomas Napier, who was present during the interview, confirms this._

_“I received several floo-calls during that time and a postcard,” Napier says.  
“I have spent my holiday with friends and later on with my father, but Harry and I are very close and always keep in contact. He’d never do such a thing.”_

_“When I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke, but when I realized it wasn’t, I was horrified.”_

_At this point, poor Quinn is near tears and his cousin comforts him before we can continue to talk._

_“I felt different for a while already, but I had assumed it was just some kind of wizard puberty, not a dark ritual to give me power or whatever…”_

_It is not a secret that young Quinn is a bit of a trouble maker at school. His teachers and peers have already long since admitted to his tendencies of pranks and jokes, but are they really all in innocent fun? Some of the Hogwarts students claim otherwise._

_“Quinzel has no regard for other people’s feelings,” Ravenclaw student Sarah Fawcett tells me.  
“His pranks often border on mean. He loves the attention he gets from disrupting the peace.”_

_And miss Fawcett isn’t the only students who is of this believe in the slightest._

_“He’s a liar!” Lavender Brown, a Gryffindor classmate of Harry says.  
“He gets a kick out of telling some crazy, barely believable story to us. No one ever knows if we can believe what he’s telling us.”_

_“He loves disrupting the classes,” young Hufflepuff Justin Finch-Fletchley tells.  
“And he’s roped other people in his pranks too. Like the Weasley twins and almost all of the Slytherins. We’re all terrified of when they’ll take it too far.”_

_Still, these are only a few accounts of students complaining. Most still believe in Quinn’s innocence and say that he would never purposefully harm another student. The teachers too seem to be concerned about Quinn, but ensured me that he wouldn’t get the chance to ever ‘go too far’ as some students fear._

_I tried speaking with both Headmaster Albus Dumbledore on the matter, but both he and Severus Snape have proven to be difficult to get a hold of and refuse to make any statement about young Harry Quinn. Dumbledore has retracted himself completely from the media after his outrageous claims of the return of You-Know-Who._

_Another who has stayed silent on the matter Quinn happens to be his former friend, Hermione Granger. My sources have told me the two have had a falling-out and now barely talk with one another anymore. The reason for this, is simply growing up, Quinn ensured me._

_“We’re in rivalling Houses,” Quinn tells.  
“Not that either of us really believes in that crap, but the peer pressure it puts on us… I think it strained our relationship to the point we just drifted apart.”_

_Quinn told me he really regretted his lost friendship with miss Granger, but he doesn’t doubt that with a little bit of maintenance and a lot of care, they can be as close as they had been before._

_And there you have it folks! After my deep conversation with both Quinn, his cousin, Hogwarts staff and students, I have come to the conclusion that Harry Quinzel is in fact_ not _evil. He is simply a teenage boy doing teenage boy things. It is unfortunate for him that his disposition earns him so much more scrutiny than any other of the school delinquents._

_Rita Skeeter_

_For more info on Dumbledore’s delusional ramblings on the Dark, p. 7; On Harry Quinn’s family life and his relationship with his cousin and uncle, p. 10 and 11; On Harry’s former friendship with Hermione Granger, p. 13_

*

“Rita’s made a masterwork out of it, as usual,” Harry said smirking.

The rest of their group seemed to share his amusement as their eyes all sparkled in dark glee. This year would be _very_ fun.

.              .              .              .              .

Just like every year, the Great Hall was buzzing in excitement. There was a new person up at the teacher’s table, just as there was every year. But this one was a middle-aged woman with a fat, toad-like face and horrendous pink clothing. Harry wondered if she was even qualified at all for the job. Strangely enough, Hagrid wasn’t there either and instead, the old teacher CoMC was back. Harry didn’t particularly care about the giant lunatic, but his being gone was still suspicious. All these years, Dumbledore had kept Hagrid in employment even though he was completely inapt. It was weird he was suddenly gone now.

A lot of people were looking at Harry though, looking pityingly or curiously at his new hairstyle. Whenever someone asked, he told them he’d chosen those particular colors to honor Cedric’s memory, which many of the students, especially the Hufflepuffs, appreciated greatly.

His friends of course knew he was lying, but they knew better than pointing it out.

Moments later, everyone fell quiet as McGonagall led the first years into the Great Hall, all of them looking around with large eyes in wonder and awe. Harry felt the powerful urge to mess with them. Smirking, he pulled out his wand and carefully aimed it at the Sorting Hat in between the mass of students. Draco, who sat next to him tensed instantly at the sight of the wand.

“H-Harry?” the blond whispered worried.

Harry just grinned wider and cast a charm on the Hat, only seconds before he could start singing. Draco turned his head towards the front, watching in mortification at the Sorting Hat, who opened his mouth as the entire school hushed in expectation.

 _“Is this the real life?_  
Is this just fantasy?  
Caught in a landslide,  
No escape from reality.

 _Open your eyes,_  
Look up to the skies and see,  
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,  
Because I'm easy come, easy go,  
Little high, little low,  
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.”

“QUINZEL!” Snape roared, jumping up from his seat.

Harry got up as well, giggling like a maniac as he took off, a seething Snape chasing after him. Whenever Harry passed one of the suits of arms standing against the wall, he cast a quick spell to put them in motion. By the time he ran up the steps to the teacher’s table and jumped on top of it, ten armors had made their way to the middle of the Great Hall and were dancing in a conga line.

 _“Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?”_ Harry sang along with the Hat.

 _“Bismillah! No, he will not let you go,”_ Fred and George sang in chorus with the Sorting Hat.

There was a loud roar of laughter from all four tables with students as Harry stepped on the new teacher’s plate and almost fell backwards. A curse cast by Snape had Harry lose his balance anyway and he fell back yelping loudly as he landed on Dumbledore’s fork, much to the old man’s amusement.

Finally, Snape grabbed hold of Harry’s upper arm and dragged him off the table and on his feet, his face contorted in an angry, hateful sneer.

“You just earned yourself three weeks of detention, Mr. Quinzel,” Snape hissed.

“Aw! I missed you too Sevvy!” Harry giggled innocently, planting a little peck on the man’s cheek.

He was instantly let go off and Snape wiped away at his face with a disgusted glare towards Harry, who just laughed along with the other students and walked over back to his seat. Draco was looking very resigned, while Blaise and Theo were pretty much laughing their asses off. Harry gave them all a smug grin and sat down.

“Now that that entertaining little display is over, I believe it is time for the Sorting,” Dumbledore announced, smiling calmly at everyone before cancelling the charm on the armors and sending them back to their stationary places.

.              .              .              .              .

“To our newcomers,” Dumbledore exclaimed loudly once the Sorting was over, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips.  
“Welcome! To our old hands — welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!”

Harry, along with many other students laughed and cheered loudly as the feast appeared on their tables and instantly dug in. the pink dressed witch next to Dumbledore was glaring at her plate in disgust, which was probably pretty dirty after Harry had stood on it, before brandishing her wand and cleaning it magically.

Harry and his friends talked among each other pleasantly, exchanging stories of their vacation, but none as wild and outrageous as Harry’s. He easily spun a whole story about surfing lava in one of Hawaii’s volcanoes and gladly told his housemates how he’s had to regrow his eyebrows after that. He even claimed that one of the other surfers had slipped and now lived with the left half of his body molten off. At that point, practically everyone stopped believing him.

When all the students had finished eating and the noise level in the hall was starting to creep upward again, Dumbledore got to his feet once more. Talking ceased immediately as all turned to face the headmaster. Harry was feeling pleasantly drowsy now and couldn’t wait to free Malinda from his trunk and go to bed.

“Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices,” Dumbledore spoke.  
“First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students — and a few of our older students ought to know by now too.”

“I think he’s talking about you,” Blaise whispered.

“WHAT?!” Harry exclaimed loudly, gaining everyone’s attention again.  
“Since when is this outrageous rule in action?! How come I never heard of this before now?”

There were some snickers and groans all around the Hall and Dumbledore chuckled.

“That would certainly explain quite a bit of your behavior, Mr. Quinzel,” he teased.

“You dare say I break rules?!” Harry exclaimed horrified.  
“I, the most noble, honest, loyal, fair, handsome, smart, sexy-”

“They got the point!” Draco exclaimed annoyed, pulling Harry back down on his seat.

There was another roar of laughter before Dumbledore got the students to quiet down again.

“Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch’s office door.”

“We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons. We are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.”

“How long will this one last?” Blaise asked in an amused whisper.

Harry smirked darkly at the question.

“I think I’m going for a record,” he replied.

“Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the-”

Dumbledore broke off, looking inquiringly at Professor Umbridge. As she was not much taller standing than sitting, there was a moment when nobody understood why Dumbledore had stopped talking, but then Professor Umbridge coughed politely and it became clear that she had got to her feet and was intending to make a speech.

“Thank you, Headmaster for those kind words of welcome,” Umbridge said in a sickly sweet voice.  
“Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking back at me!”

Harry narrowed his eyes in dislike at her and looked around. Literally no one was smiling. Did the bitch think they were all five year-olds or something? This was just offensive.

“I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I’m sure we’ll be very good friends!”

Several of the Slytherins and some of the other houses looked over at Harry and smirked knowingly. Oh. Harry would _definitely_ enjoy becoming _great friends_ with this pink toad. Umbridge coughed again and as she started speaking again, her voice sounded a lot more business-like.

“The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.” Professor Umbridge paused here and made a little bow to her fellow staff members, none of whom bowed back.  
“Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation-”

There was a loud smack as Harry fell face first into the table, his eyes clothes and his breathing slow. Umbridge was stunned in silence instantly, as were everyone else as they stared in Harry’s direction. The colorful teen wasn’t moving in the slightest, but as close as Draco sat, he could see Harry was drooling.

“Did-did he really fall asleep?” Theo asked shocked.

“Looks like it,” Blaise snickered, poking Harry’s side.

The sleeping teen snored loudly at that and his brows furrowed up, but he didn’t wake up.

“Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey!” one of the Weasley twins called from the other side of the room.

“With some nice hot pancakes!” the other added laughing.

Harry’s eyes snapped open and he sat up, looking drowsy.

“Pancakes?” he asked yawning.

“… because… because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment,” Umbridge continued a bit uncertain, her eyes still glued on Harry, who’s eyes fell closed again and he dropped back down.  
“Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.”

She sat back down, looking quite annoyed and disturbed and Dumbledore started clapping. Harry shot back up instantly and applauded as well.

“Good show! Wonderful speech… what happened?” he shouted.

Draco rolled his eyes and grabbed Harry’s arm, forcing him to stop applauding.

“What happened is that the Ministry is now in control of Hogwarts,” he hissed.

Harry blinked and the glassy look in his eyes disappeared for a cold, sharp one. If the ministry was interfering, that would make his job a lot harder this year. Of course, he was aware that Umbridge’s presence was to keep an eye on _Dumbledore_ , not him, but it still meant he’d have to be a lot more careful in his plans than he had anticipated originally and he didn’t like that.

“Thank you, Professor Umbridge, for that enlightening speech,” Dumbledore said.  
“Now, it is late and I’m sure you would all like to get settled in for the night. Go on.”

Draco and Pansy left the group instantly, calling for the first years to gather around them while Harry intended to follow Blaise and Theo down to the dorms, but was stopped when Umbridge approached him with another annoying little cough for attention.

“Mr. Potter, a moment, please,” she said in that high-pitched sugary voice of hers.

“It’s Quinzel, but I can spare you a minute, sure,” Harry replied calmly, waving his friends on.

Umbridge narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance, but Harry ignored it and just stared back with a bored expression.

“Now, you must understand that your behavior was simply unacceptable,” she stated sternly.  
“You were disrupting the whole Hall with your abysmal behavior. What do you have to say for yourself.”

Harry smirked in reply and stared at the new teacher for a while before shrugging and chuckling.

“Five months,” he said.

“I-what?” Umbridge asked confused.

“That’s how long you’ll stay around,” Harry clarified.  
“I’m giving you five months… six tops, before you’re gone.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You’re excused,” Harry replied pleasantly.  
“Now, that minute I gave you is over, so I’ll be going. Sweet dreams~”

He whistled a cheerful tune as he made his way through the busy hallways towards the dungeons. He entered Slytherin common room just as Draco and Pansy had finished their little welcome speech to the first years and the blond instantly rounded in on Harry.

“Blaise said Umbridge wanted to talk to you, what happened?” he asked curiously.

A large, evil grin spread across Harry’s face, making Draco instantly regret he had asked anything.

“Draco, I have a great feeling about that lady. We’ll be good friends, trust me!”

“She’s going to die, isn’t she?” Draco asked with a resigned sigh.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember the title of Rita’s article had been suggested to me a while ago in the comments, but I can’t find it back to give proper credit, so whoever it was, thank you and I’m sorry :/
> 
> As usual, thanks to Nobody for the part where Harry suggests wizard puberty to be the reason for a strange shift in his magical power. I thought it was a pretty interesting excuse for Harry to give to appear innocent and still make it clear that the Ritual was indeed meant for him.
> 
> Both the Sorting Hat singing Bohemian Rhapsody and the dancing statues were ideas of Greenwindsthatblow. To you too, a big thanks for the suggestion! It’s hilarious!
> 
> To everyone else, thanks for reading this chapter. Next update should be next Wednesday.


	89. Mad as a Hatter

Umbridge’s first class was a complete bust if you asked Harry, or anyone else who actually liked the class and wanted to _learn_ something in it. The pink toad just made them read some stuffy book about safety precautions and whatnot, claiming there was absolutely no reason for any of them to learn to defend themselves since there was nothing they needed to defend themselves against.

Harry had instantly raised his hand and asked loudly what would happen if he decided to become a Dark Lord and none of the others knew how to protect themselves from his ‘evil ways’.

“That is what the Ministry for, Mr. Quinzel,” the woman had said sweetly, but with a dangerous glint in her eyes.  
“If you would attempt any illegal magic, the Ministry would know and you would find yourself on your way to Azkaban.”

Harry had smiled sweetly at that.

“If you say so~” he sang, grinning knowingly.

His friends all smirked as well, aware that Harry had done several highly illegal things over the years without the Ministry getting wind of it. As far as they were all concerned, Harry _was_ a Dark Lord. Just a tiny one.

.              .              .              .              .

“That was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo,” Harry commented lightly as he walked out of the classroom.

The others didn’t even bother gracing the words with a reply. All of them were more than used to Harry’s unusual comments. They had all accepted Harry Quinn was an odd one. Draco only had the right state of mind to get worried when Harry tensed and paused his walking, his brows furrowing in thought.

“… That actually would be pretty fun…” Harry mumbled thoughtfully.  
“Not to use on myself, obviously, but as a torture devise.”

“You are very disturbing sometimes, Quinn,” Draco muttered, shaking his head.

Harry ignored him and grinned widely, making Draco scowl in annoyance. He was a Malfoy, and no one should ignore a Malfoy. Except Quinn, apparently.

“I should make that happen,” Harry said.

“Are you even listening to me?” Draco asked annoyed.

“Nope. I’m imagining the different uses of a dildo made of sandpaper.”

“Make Umbridge use it,” Theo piped up suddenly, making Harry laugh and Draco’s eyes widen in horror.

“Don’t encourage him, Theo!” the blonde exclaimed.

Still laughing, Harry walked up to Theo and threw an arm over the timid boy’s shoulder.

“My dear Theodore,” he said, still chuckling.  
“That attitude will get you places!”

“Yeah, Azkaban,” Draco grouched.

“Don’t be such a tight ass, Drakey-boy!” Harry teased.  
“The toad is annoying as fuck, she deserves some inflamed skin in her dusty places.”

“Dusty places?” Blaise asked snickering.

The Italian had been talking with Daphne and Tracy, but now walked up to the other boys to join the conversation about their new DADA teacher.

“Obviously no one would ever want to stick their dick in her even if their lives depended on it,” Harry snorted bluntly.  
“If she wants a fuck, she’ll need a dildo. Probably a neon pink one, hidden in her desk somewhere. And when I find it, I’ll turn it into sandpaper. Maybe she even thinks she’s just having her period again… after being in menopause for decades!”

The other boys all looked extremely disturbed at Harry’s exclamation. Blaise quickly turned away, hurrying back towards the girls in hopes of getting rid of the imagery Harry had just put in his head.

“That’s a bit too explicit, Quinn,” Theo mumbled.

Harry gave a bark of laughter.

“You think _that’s_ explicit?!” he mocked.  
“I never heard any of you complain when I told you about the girls I fucked in detail!”

Theo blushed and fell quiet, looking away in shame while Draco scowled and pushed Harry.

“Do you have an off switch?” he asked annoyed.

“It’s right next to the prostate,” Harry laughed, wiggling his eyebrows.  
“Or is that the on switch?”

“You’re terrible,” Draco muttered.

“And you love it,” Harry teased.

They stopped talking when they saw Luna waiting for them ahead in the empty Hall. Grinning, Harry hooked his arms with Draco and Blaise before marching towards the blond girl.

“We’ll meet up with you guys back in the common room!” Harry called behind him to the other Slytherins.

He didn’t wait for a response as he and the other three made their way towards the seventh floor left corridor. Harry stopped in front of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and started pacing, thinking of a proper evil lair where he could tell the others of his plans.

Draco and Blaise gasped as a door appeared on the opposite wall as Luna smiled knowingly. Harry cheerfully clapped his hands and skipped over, opening it for the others to enter before stepping in himself and closing it behind him.

The room was an eyesore. It was lit with horrible colors all over the walls, floor and ceiling and several clown-paintings were strung up, all grinning macabrely down at the four of them, not moving at all.in the middle of the room were a set of mismatched armchairs around a shiny black and white table, with a plate filled with pastries and cookies and different kinds of soda.

“Nice!” Harry cheered, plopping down on a bright pink chair while Luna took the yellow one.

Blaise and Draco eyed the room distastefully and sat down on the remaining two chairs, which were purple and orange in color.

“Let’s ignore the question about what the hell this place is and go to more pressing matters,” Blaise drawled.  
“Why did you decide to pull us away into this nightmare of a room?”

“I think it looks quite lovely,” Luna said dreamily.  
“It’s all very cheerful, isn’t it? I like it a lot.”

“I have gathered you all here, my dearest friends, to announce my allegiances once and for all!” Harry spoke proudly, spreading his arms wide.  
“I work, as of this summer, for none other than everyone’s favorite snake-face! Yes indeed! Voldemort himself caught himself this handsome limited edition henchman!”

Draco, who had just taken a sip of a coke choked and sputtered while Blaise stared at him with his mouth gaping and his eyes wide.

“You what?!” the blond stuttered.

“I’m working for my uncle,” Harry repeated grinning.  
“I’m in charge of recruiting new baby corpse munchers.”

“You’re bloody insane!” Draco shouted.

Harry laughed and grabbed Luna’s hand, pulling her up with him as he started waltzing with the blond Ravenclaw. The girl giggled and easily fell into step with him.

“Insane? I’m mad as a Hatter!” Harry teased cheerfully.

“Then I will be your Alice,” Luna told him smiling.  
“I’ll jump into any rabbit hole you ask me to.”

Harry grinned at her and spun her around, starting to hum a song he remembered. It fit the current conversation, so he decided to sing out loud.

_“My friends don't walk, they run. Skinny dip in rabbit holes for fun. Popping, popping balloons with guns, getting high off helium. We paint white roses red. Each shade from a different person's head. This dream, dream is a killer, getting drunk with a blue caterpillar.”_

“Seriously, you’re going to do that now?” Draco asked annoyed.

Harry didn’t answer, instead he just continued singing.

_“I'm peeling the skin off my face, 'cause I really hate being safe. The normals, they make me afraid. The crazies, they make me feel sane.”_

“This is nuts,” Blaise muttered, making Luna and Harry laugh.

 _“I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad. The craziest friend that you've ever had. You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone. Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong. Over the bend, entirely bonkers. You like me best when I'm off my rocker. Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed. So what if I'm crazy? The best people are,”_ they sang together.

_“All the best people are crazy! All the best people are. Where is my prescription? Doctor, doctor please listen. My brain is scattered. You can be Alice, I'll be the mad hatter.”_

When he finished that part, Harry let go of Luna and took a step back, giving her a bow as she clapped for him, a bright smile lighting up her face. Draco and Blaise just stared at them, looking thoroughly unimpressed with Harry’s show.

“Explain to us, Mad Hatter, why are you recruiting?” Draco asked.

Harry grinned darkly at that and stepped closer. Instantly, the other two boys were on edge and they shared a fearful look before refocusing back on Harry.

“I want to see this world _burn_ and then dance in the ashes of it,” he whispered dangerously, a mad glint in his eyes.  
“I want to see rivers turn red and hear the sky fill with cries of terror. I want to rip away this illusion of order and make everyone _drown_ in _chaos_.”

Draco swallowed nervously and his grip tightened on the armrests of his chair. What the hell kind of madness had he gotten himself involved in?

.              .              .              .              .

As soon as Harry, Draco and Blaise returned to the Dungeons after having seen off Luna to the Ravenclaw Tower, Harry went to his private room with the intention to study up on his Necromancy books. He’d been neglecting them over the summer and he had found an enchantment he really wanted to test out.

 ***How did it go, Hatchling?*** Malinda hissed curiously as she curled up in Harry’s lap.

 ***They took it pretty well,*** Harry replied with an amused hiss.  
***Draco and Blaise freaked out at first, but after I danced with Luna, they agreed to round up some recruits.***

Malinda gave a hissing laugh and nuzzled Harry’s thigh as the teen calmly read his book. He wasn’t usually the most bookish person, but if he could use the knowledge to his own advantage, he was willing to make exceptions.

 ***I’m sure you scared them. They’re just speechless hatchlings,”** the snake mused.

Harry laughed, making his whole body shake, which in turn made Malinda jolt and hiss annoyed. As Harry didn’t show any regret for disturbing her like that, Malinda bit his leg in retaliation, making Harry yelp loudly in shock.

“Ouch! That hurt!” he whined.

 ***Don’t leak water, Hatchling. I didn’t bite with poison,*** Malinda huffed.

 ***I’m not leaking anything! I’m just upset that you bit me!*** Harry hissed.

If snakes could roll their eyes, Harry was pretty sure that Malinda would have done so.

***You were being too restless. It’s bothersome.***

Harry laughed again and rubbed his leg before smirking down at Malinda’s poisonous green eyes.

 ***Then how about you help me get rid of some of that energy?*** he suggested in a seductive hiss.

 


	90. Girls, Girls, Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don’t follow me on Tumblr, I’ve changed my writing schedule. From now on, instead of posting one chapter every week, this story will be updated once every other week. I hope that this will make it easier for me to keep up with everything.

School had been going on a little over two weeks when Harry found himself studying together with some of his friends. Half of the Slytherin fifth years had banded together in the common room nearly daily in a study group, which Draco and Theo had bullied Harry into joining. He only agreed because he was supposed to _seduce_ others into joining the Dark Lord, a task which he had taken pretty seriously, if he said so himself.

Draco said he took that way too literally when he had found Harry flirting with the Hufflepuff Head Girl a few days ago. It had become a new habit of Harry lately to flirt with practically anyone he considered remotely interesting or good-looking. All in the name of the Dark Lord of course, but if he could fool around with some hot chick or good-looking bloke, he definitely wouldn’t say no either.

Currently, he had his eye on one of his own classmates. Tracy Davis wasn’t exactly a beauty, but she wasn’t ugly either. She was a bit short for their age, with a freckled face and a little too skinny. Her features were completely average. There was absolutely nothing noteworthy about her, but Harry thought she was interesting. The girl had a good head on her shoulders and was slightly above average in all her practical classes too. From what Harry had seen, she was actually pretty Dark too, which was awesome if he wanted to get her into Voldemort’s grabby hands.

He had been so deep in thought, he hadn’t realized he was staring straight at the girl this whole time, and now she was looking back at him with a curious scowl. Harry shook himself out of his thoughts and grinned widely at her, which only caused the petite brunette’s scowl to deepen.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Tracy asked Harry frowning.  
“You’re trying to look under my skirt, aren’t you? Bloody pervert.”

“I do not!” Harry scoffed offended, even though it was exactly what he had been doing.  
“I’m just admiring your beautiful legs and trying to find a proper comparison.”

Tracy blinked in surprise and blushed a bit. The others had all stopped what they were doing to see where this would go. Things always had a habit of turning interesting with Harry after all.

“Did you find a comparison?” Tracy asked shyly, giving Harry a coy smile.

“I did!” Harry replied grinning.  
“Your left leg is like Christmas and your right is like New Year.”

He smirked seductively, making the girl blush even harder as he leaned in closer, putting a hand on her thigh and slowly moving it upwards.

“And, Trace, I’d love to come visit you between the holidays.”

Under roaring laughter, Tracy grabbed her book again and hit Harry on his head. Snickering, Harry leaned back into his own seat, rubbing his head with a mock pout before he turned back towards Draco.

“So, how far did you get with Charms?” he asked casually.

.              .              .              .              .

The next morning, Harry went on his run as he usually did. Just for the heck of it, he went into the forest and sought out the Acromantula nest. He wanted to play some more with them, but unfortunately, he found the nest utterly abandoned. All that was left were a few carcasses and some remaining scorch-marks from his last visit. With a pout, Harry turned away and went back to the castle.

Harry intended to return to his room for a long, hot shower before breakfast, but as he walked through the mostly empty hallways, his eyes fell on a group of Ravenclaw girls making their way to the Great Hall. Grinning, Harry changed directions and instead ran after the girls.

“Cho!” he called, making the Asian sixth year look over at him curiously.  
“Can I talk to you a moment? There’s something I was hoping to ask you…”

He gave a shy little grin, making the girl smile back at him softly and she nodded.

“I’ll find you in a minute, Marietta,” Cho told her best friend.

The other Ravenclaw girl send a distrusting glare Harry’s way and spun on her spot to continue her path to breakfast. Harry smirked in amusement, before he changed it into a nervous little smile as he looked back at Cho.

“I-I’m not really sure how you’ll feel about it, b-but I think I have to at least tell you this…” he mumbled shyly.

Cho blinked confused and stepped closer.

“What is it, Harry?” she asked a little worried.

“I-I like you…” Harry confessed, willing himself to blush in embarrassment.  
“Like, _a lot_. And I didn’t want to tell you last year because Cedric’s my friend and I still feel like I’m sort of betraying him by telling you now, but I can’t keep this to myself anymore, and-… sorry. I’ll leave now.”

Harry turned around and started walking away while in his head counting to five.

“Wait!”

Harry suppressed a vicious smirk and styled his expression to innocent curiosity as he looked back at Cho.

“Cedric and I… we weren’t doing all that great anymore…” Cho confessed in a soft whisper.  
“I really miss him, and I still love him, but I like you too. I think he would have liked us getting together…”

Harry’s eyes widened in shock while on the inside he was cackling in victory. Cedric would have liked anything _but_ them getting together. He had loved fucking Harry behind Cho’s back, and if he had been a ghost now, he’d tell Cho to stay the hell away from Harry. And probably to contact Aurors.

“You really think so?” he asked in an innocent whisper.

“Yes,” Cho replied with a smile.

“Then do you want to go out-?”

His question was interrupted when suddenly Hermione walked over to them and went to stand in front of Cho, her arms crossed as she glared at Harry.

“We need to talk,” she said in a bossy tone.

Harry’s face darkened in annoyance for a short moment before brightening up instantly again. Hermione’s eyes narrowed in suspicion at the change, but Harry ignored it and nodded his head.

“Anything for my friends!” he said in a light tone.  
“Can I talk to you later, Cho? I wanted to set a date.”

He winked at the Asian girl before turning his attention on Hermione, giving her a warning glare. The bushy brunette didn’t seem very intimidated and just turned away from him with a huff, clearly expecting him to follow her as she walked away from Cho. With one last cheerful wave at the Ravenclaw, Harry followed her.

Hermione led Harry into an empty classroom. As soon as Harry followed her in, the girl closed the door behind them and locked it, before turning back towards Harry and glaring furiously at her.

“Alright, what the fuck is all this about?” Harry asked her annoyed.

Instead of answering, Hermione walked over to the teacher’s desk and threw a newspaper on top of it. Her icy glare once again focused on Harry, who sighed and walked towards her. He stopped in front of the brunette, close enough to have their chests almost touching. Hermione twitched, as if she desperately wanted to take a step back, but her pride wouldn’t let her. Harry smirked teasingly at her and looked down at the paper, picking it up and looking at the headline it lay open on.

To his surprise, it wasn’t a wizarding paper. No, it was an old copy of the Daily Planet, back when Harry and his parents had been captured during their Metropolis outing.

**_JOKER AND CO ARESTED IN METROPOLIS_ **

Harry kept his expression perfectly blank as he lowered the paper again and looked at Hermione, who had taken the opportunity of his distraction to get a bit further away from him. Harry raised a disinterested eyebrow at her and leaned against the desk casually.

“Is this meant to mean something to me?” he asked in a bored tone.

“Harley Quinn,” Hermione bit out, her eyes narrowed in anger.

Harry cocked his head calmly and waited for Hermione to get to the point, making the girl’s jaw clench in irritation and anger. This made the Slytherin boy grin a little. Hermione was always so amusing when she was angry. Especially when she was angry at him. Such righteous fury that could almost reach the level of Robin or even Batman.

“I did some digging. Her real name is Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Both names are the ones you like to use,” she pointed out.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“They’re very common names, you know.”

“They’re _not_!” Hermione exclaimed, her voice reaching a higher pitch in her fury.  
“There are only six people _known_ to have that last name! Only two in the vicinity of Gotham! Harleen and Kathrin Quinzel! Two sisters!”

Harry grinned at her and put his hands in his pockets.

“So? What’s your point?” he asked her.

“My point is that I know what you are!” Hermione shouted.  
“You’re a criminal! You are Child’s Play!”

She looked incredibly tense, her wand already in hand in case Harry would suddenly decide to attack her. Instead, Harry threw his head back and _laughed_. He laughed for several minutes, and when he finally calmed down, Hermione had lowered her wand again and was staring at him with shocked face.

“Why are you here, Granger?” he asked her, smirking.  
“Do you want me to buy your silence? Do you want in? What is it?”

“I- what?” the girl asked confused.  
“No! I want nothing from you!”

“Then why are you here and not telling this to Dumbledore, or the _Ministry_?” Harry asked her amused.  
“Yu don’t have any proof, do you? And you know they won’t take you seriously. Dumbledore _loves_ me, and the Ministry has been doing anything in their power to make me look like a silly, powerless _child_. They won’t want to hear anything that could mean they were wrong about me.”

Hermione was completely silent now as she stared horrified at Harry. The yellow and black haired boy grinned and took a few steps closer, making Hermione back up until she reached the wall. Harry pressed both his hands against the wall on either side of her head and leaned closer until he could feel her elevated breath ghost over his lips.

“Think about what you want to do with this information, _Granger_ ,” he whispered mockingly.  
“If you did your research right, you know that I’m not someone you should mess with. Piss me off, and this entire school will burn to ashes, including anyone currently in it. You don’t want that, do you?”

Hermione whimpered and shook her head, making Harry’s grin widen. He chuckled darkly into the girl’s ear, just to hear her breath hitch in terror before he stepped back from her. With a lazy flick of his wand, the newspaper went up in a bright purple flame and Harry started walking back to the door, which he unlocked with a silent Alohomora.

“See you around, Hermione,” Harry purred before stepping out of the classroom.

.              .              .              .              .

After his talk with Hermione, Harry continued on towards the dungeons and went straight for his private bedroom, where Malinda was still napping on his pillow. She looked up and blinked lazily as Harry breezed past her and went back to sleep when the door to the adjourning bathroom slammed shut.

Harry took a quick shower, since he was already late and got dressed in his own restyled school robes. Plain black was way too boring, so Harry had gone to a special store that excelled in enchanted fabrics. The ones he was wearing would change colors in the eyes of the beholder depending on the mood they were on. It was a more advanced mood charm, similar to the ones often up on rings.

It got him a lot of stares over the past two weeks and a lot of disapproval from Umbridge, who greatly disliked Harry’s tastes. Harry of course ignored all of her commentary and just did what he liked, which was disrupting class without giving her or any of the other teachers any proof it had been him that did it, even though they all knew it was him. They couldn’t do much more than deduct points from him.

Even now as he walked in, the bitch in pink narrowed her eyes at him and Harry grinned innocently back before catching the eye of the Headmaster. Since the start of the school year, Dumbledore had Harry come to his office three times a week for therapy sessions. With Tom’s help, Harry had put strong compulsion charms on his flash-cards, which forced the old man to trust him fully and above anyone else. Soon enough, Harry would be able to kill someone with forty witnesses and Dumbledore would still believe his word over theirs.

“There you are, Quinn!”

Fred and George stepped up to him and each wrapped an arm over the younger teen’s shoulders, wide, identical grins plastered on their faces. Harry felt a wicked smirk of his on curl his lips as he looked at the two Gryffindor demons.

“What can I help you fine gentlemen with today?” he asked pleasantly.

“We may have a bit of a… pink problem,” Fred confessed.

“Tried to prank her a couple times, but she’s figured most of them out,” George said.  
“Earned us three detentions last week and this week we’re booked for every night between her and Snape.”

Harry hummed in thought.

“Got four detentions with Snape for this week, but the Toad hasn’t been able to pin anything on me yet that warrants a detention,” he said thoughtful.  
“I guess it’s time to change that. Let’s meet up after classes today and think of some way to make the bitch pull her hair out-…”

Harry stopped talking and looked over to the Ravenclaw table, where Luna was sitting with Astoria. He noticed how some older boys were continuously vanishing Luna’s food from her plate as soon as she put it on while Astoria tried to stop them. Cho and her friends were sitting a little further, just talking and glancing over from time to time. Marietta Edgecomb even giggled a little at Luna’s misery.

“We’ll finish talking later,” Harry muttered before striding over.

He pulled out his wand while walking over to the Ravenclaw table and softly started muttering spells under his breath. He had learned a lot of special things in his Necromancy books, and this one was one of the more neutral spells in there.

Kids started screaming when the meat on their plates suddenly came to life and started attacking the bullies. They tried to get up, but Harry swiped his wand again and forced them to sit down while the living food started crawling up their bodies and forced themselves down their throats. He noticed Marietta Edgecomb screaming in horror and cast a quick levitation charm on an egg. It flew through the air and slammed in her face, causing Cho and the girls around her to shriek and jump away.

“That’s enough!” Umbridge suddenly bellowed.

She cast several spells to undo Harry’s damage, but it was Harry himself who subtly killed the reanimated meat again before anyone realized he’d been using necromancy. The pink toad was looking both furious and victorious as she stared down at Harry with a viciously gleeful grin.

“Detention, Mr. Quinzel. Tonight,” she said.

“Can’t. I have a date with Sevvy,” Harry shot back, winking at Snape.

The man looked utterly disgusted and glared at Harry before looking over at Umbridge.

“Quinzel has detention with me the next four days,” he said in a slow drawl.

“In that case, I’ll see you on Friday evening,” the woman said in a sickly sweet voice.

Harry bowed deeply and grinned.

“I’m looking forward to it already.”

.              .              .              .              .

“I want to find where the Toad keeps her dildo.”

Fred and George stopped discussing possible pranks and stared at Harry with wide, shocked eyes. It was after classes and the three had banded together in Harry’s private room to talk about the pink bitch and how to make her life miserable.

“You… what?” George choked out after a while.

Harry grinned wolfishly towards the two redheads and reclined on his bed.

“I want to find Umbitch’s dildo,” he said again, chuckling at the disgusted faces.  
“I had this talk with Draco and Theo about turning it to be made of sandpaper.”

The twins were silent for a short while as they tried to progress just what it was exactly that Harry had said before they burst out with laughter.

“Let’s find a toady dildo, then!” George crowed.

“Good. I was hoping you guys would be in,” Harry told them smirking.

He rolled over onto his stomach and crawled over to where George was lying next to his brother. Harry dipped his head down and pressed his lips against the redhead’s in a deep, filthy kiss while Fred watched hungrily at their tongues dancing together.

“She’ll know someone was in there, though,” Fred pointed out.

Harry stopped kissing George and looked over with a thoughtful scowl. She most likely would. No doubt the bitch had some protection around her office. A ministry toady like her was too paranoid not to protect herself. After all, she was here because the ministry thought the school was a threat.

“She’ll be suspicious,” George agreed.  
“We need to do more than just changing the texture of the dildo.”

Harry hummed in agreement and nodded. A smirk appeared on his face, making the twins look at each other for a moment before they too started grinning.

“I planned on turning all the cat pictures into dogs,” Harry confessed.  
“But something tells me you two have some plans too.”

This time, it was the turn of the twins to smirk in a conspiring way as they looked at each other again. Harry raised a curious brow, hoping that the two Princes of Pranks had thought of something good.

“We were thinking of turning all her robes black,” George said gleefully.

“But not just that!” Fred added in an excited voice.  
“We developed a spell so they would turn out just as pink as they’re now, but every time someone croaks in her vicinity, they’ll turn a shade darker.”

“Almost perfect,” Harry chuckled, earning dual scowls of his partners in crime.

“Almost?!” Fred repeated incredulous.  
“It’s bloody brilliant and you know it!”

“And it would be even better when you make it so that every time Umbitch’s robes turn more black, Snape’s robes turn more pink,” Harry said smirking.  
“And whenever one of them tries to undo the spell, it just speeds up the process for both. Or makes Snape’s robes sparkle depending on what kind of spells they try it with.”

For several long moments, the twins just stared at Harry in awe before both of them burst out laughing. Harry smiled in accomplishment and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall, a very smug expression on his face.

“And that’s why you’re the King, Harry!” George exclaimed amused.

“Damn fucking straight I am!” Harry said proudly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of Hermione finding out who Harry is and confronting him was from aiso2002 who messaged me on my Tumblr with it. So thanks a lot for the idea! It was great!


	91. Detention in Pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to Raccoon for reminding me that I’ve been working on this story for a WHOLE DAMN YEAR ALREADY!!! That’s so crazy!

“Quinn!”

Harry, who was just on his way out of the common room on Friday afternoon, half an hour before his detention with Umbridge, turned around at the call of his name and waited patiently for Adrian Pucey to catch up to him. The 7th year Chaser and Team Captain was scowling sternly, probably because Harry had already missed the past two practices because of detention with Snape, and now he would miss another because of Umbridge.

“We’ve got a game against Hufflepuff in two weeks and you’ve only been at one practice so far,” Adrian said.

“I know!” Harry said with a dramatic sigh.  
“All those teachers are so bothersome! Can’t take a joke…”

Adrian was entirely unimpressed by Harry complaint and just stared blankly at the younger teen.

“Just make sure you’re at the top of your game. I won’t have us lose against bloody _Hufflepuff_ …”

Adrian turned away from Harry, clearly deciding their conversation was done, but Harry didn’t fully agree. He cackled softly and draped himself over the taller teen’s back, making Adrian tense up in surprise or at the unexpected closeness between them.

“You know, I fly better with the promise of sex after,” Harry said, looking at his Captain meaningfully.

“I don’t really care what you do in your free time, Quinn,” Adrian sighed pushing Harry off.  
“If you can get a girl to agree with sleeping with you, it’s none of my business.”

Harry laughed and moved in front of Adrian, smirking suggestively at the older teen.

“Why should I go look for a girl when a dashing man is standing right in front of me?” he flirted.

Most people would start blushing at this point, smile and feel flattered at least. Adrian Pucey was different though. The teen just sighed and shook his head in disappointment, as if Harry had just let him down or something. He’d never reacted positively at Harry’s attempts, but that didn’t stop the insane teen from trying anyway.

“For the last time, Quinn. No,” he said annoyed.

“Why not?!” Harry cried out, pouting upset.  
“Am I not pretty enough for you or something?”

Adrian groaned a little and rolled his eyes, making it hard for Harry to keep from laughing.

“You’re plenty pretty. I’m just not into blokes.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Harry asked confused.

“Everything! Unlike you, I only sleep with people I’m in a relationship with.”

Harry pouted at that and sat down, looking down at his feet with a sad expression.

“… You think I’m disgusting, don’t you?” he asked in a quiet voice.

Adrian’s eyes widened in shock, which wasn’t that much of a surprise considering Harry rarely showed any weakness in front of his fellow students. Sure, he wasn’t above playing the victim whenever the opportunity arose, but to actually admit any uncertainty he had was extremely rare.

“Of course I don’t think so,” Adrian said.  
“I don’t understand you, but that doesn’t mean I judge you.”

Harry snorted and looked up at him.

“It’s alright if you do,” he said shrugging.  
“I know I’m not normal. I’m just a freak.”

“Don’t say that!” Adrian exclaimed grasping Harry’s shoulders and shaking him a little.  
“You can be a bit odd at times, sure, but you’re smart, a talented flyer and incredibly brave! As far as I can see, you’re also a great friend.”

“Do you have any idea how many shrinks I have to visit during summer?” Harry asked miserable.  
“They say I’m psychologically impaired due to past abuse. PTSD. I’m bipolar and addicted to sex.”

“Well… If you were abused in your past… I guess I can understand,” Adrian replied quietly.  
“And the sex addiction… Do you think it could be because of a lack of affection in your childhood? I remember you telling us that your aunt and uncle hated you.”

Harry nodded mutely and Adrian smiled. He patted Harry’s head for a moment before getting back up and walking away.

“Hey, Adrian?” Harry asked.

The older teen hummed and looked over to find Harry grinning widely.

“You’re really easy to trick, you know that?”

Adrian scowled and shook his head.

“Forget what I said. You’re terrible,” he muttered, making Harry laugh harder.

.              .              .              .              .

Harry was in a great mood as he entered the Headmaster’s office for his tri-weekly therapy session with the old idiot. Another session of mind altering cards and a highly addictive drug in the form of candy. Only this time, Harry was going to put another plan into action. One that would discredit the fool for the rest of his short, miserable life.

“Ah, Harry!” Dumbledore greeted with a grandfatherly smile.

Harry wanted to smash it off his wrinkly old face, but instead grinned back.

“Heya, Headmaster!” Harry greeted back with a lazy wave of his hand.

He walked over to the desk and sat down on top of it, ignoring the chair that was ready for him. Dumbledore just chuckled amused and leaned back in his own chair, appraising Harry a little as the teen ruffled through his professional-looking briefcase for his flashcards.

“Mars bars?” Harry asked, handing over a candy bar from his pocket.

Dumbledore’s twinkly blue eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning as he accepted the treat, not noticing the vicious smirk that curled on his student’s lips as he bit into the chocolate.

“So, what will we be doing today, Dr. Quinzel?” Dumbledore asked as he finished the Mars.

“Today, we’ll have a very important discussion, I’m afraid,” Harry replied with a fake apologetic pout.

This had the Headmaster blink a little in surprise.

“What is it, Harry?” he asked worried.

“The Dark Lord has returned,” Harry spoke mournfully.  
“I’ve been having visions. They’re vague and clouded in darkness, but it’s him.”

Dumbledore nodded, frowning sadly.

“I was afraid of this,” the old man whispered.  
“I tried to warn the minister, but he refuses to listen.”

“We don’t have any proof,” Harry replied with a dramatic sigh.  
“They don’t want to see the truth because the delusion of safety is more tempting.”

“Yes, that is very wise of you, my boy,” Dumbledore agreed with a sad look.

Harry smiled softly at him and got back up. He calmly wiped off imaginary dust from his clothes and walked back towards the door.

“I should head to Professor Umbridge for my detention,” he said.

“I suppose you should. Please behave,” Dumbledore agreed with a teasing glint in his eyes.

“I always behave,” Harry scoffed playfully.

.              .              .              .              .

As Harry walked into Umbridge’s office, he couldn’t help but wince at the abundance of pink and lace. It wasn’t the first time he’d been there, though it was the first time he was welcomed by Umbridge, who was standing in front of her flower-draped desk, fussing over her dark pink robes with an annoyed scowl. Harry smirked and croaked, causing the woman to glare hatefully at him while her robes darkened another shade.

“Good evening, Mr. Quinzel,” she said spitefully.

 “Evening,” Harry greeted overly cheerful.

“Well, sit down,” Umbridge said, pointing toward a small table draped in lace beside which she had drawn up a straight-backed chair.

A piece of blank parchment lay on the table, apparently waiting for him. With a bright, evil grin, Harry looked away from her, dropped his schoolbag beside the straight-backed chair, and sat down. Umbridge smiled back sweetly.

“Now, you are going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Quinzel. No, not with your quill,” she added, as Harry bent down to open his bag.  
“You’re going to be using a rather special one of mine. Here you are.”

She handed him a long, thin black quill with an unusually sharp point.

“I want you to write _‘I must not cause trouble’_ ” she told him softly.

“How many times?” Harry asked, with a creditable imitation of politeness.

“Oh, as long as it takes for the message to _sink in_ ,” Umbridge answered sweetly.  
“Off you go.”

She moved over to her desk, sat down, and bent over a stack of parchment that looked like essays for marking. Harry raised the sharp black quill and then realized what was missing. Harry chuckled at the realization she had forgotten to give him ink and shrugged. He wasn’t gonna tell her how to do her job. And she couldn’t tell he hadn’t done what he was supposed to if he still wrote without ink.

Harry placed the point of the quill on the paper and wrote: _I must not cause trouble_.

He let out a gasp of pain. The words had appeared on the parchment in what appeared to be shining red ink. At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry’s right hand, cut into his skin as though traced there by a scalpel — yet even as he stared at the shining cut, the skin healed over again, leaving the place where it had been slightly redder than before but quite smooth. Harry looked around at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile.

“Yes?”

“Clever,” Harry bit out, giving her a strained smile.

It was, in most cases. Blood Quills were illegal, as far as Harry knew, but very few students would know that and even less would dare to tell anyone else. Anyone else probably believed the toad was just having the students write lines and nothing more, which was a very mild punishment. Harry smirked. For some people it may not be punishment at all…

He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill upon it once more, wrote _‘I fuck sluts’_ , and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time. Once again the words had been cut into his skin, once again they healed over seconds later. Harry grinned in excitement to see his own blood shining freshly on the white parchment and started writing different sentences, like _‘If I kiss Umbridge, will she become a prince?’_ and _‘I’m personally more of a dog-person’_.

When that started to become boring, Harry chose to just draw dicks as he let his mind wander. The stinging on his right hand had his stomach tingle pleasantly and he felt himself growing aroused. How many had already been made to write lines like this? How many of them had cried at the pain? Fred and George had already been there several times, Harry knew, and he wondered how they had reacted. They were bitter, that much he knew, so chances were they didn’t like it as much as Harry did.

Sliding down his chair just a little, Harry started rubbing the growing bulge in his pants with his free hand and released a shuddering breath. Umbridge looked up for just a second, her eyes narrowed in a glare, which Harry answered it with a teasing grin. The woman huffed annoyed and focused again on her own paper work.

Harry was careful not to make any noise as he opened the fly of his pants and he canted his hips to pull down his pants and underpants far enough to free his cock. He had to bite his lip to muffle the gasp as he took his aching erection in hand and started carefully and slowly jerking himself under the table while continuing to doodle penises on the sheet of parchment.

 _‘Aww, fuck. I’m so horny.’_ Harry thought, unaware that he also wrote it down until he felt it being cut in his hand. He chuckled amused, ignoring the warning glare he got from his teacher as he continued writing random lines, now all complaining about how he desperately needed to fuck. Anyone would do, except for Umbridge because toads were supposed to be poisonous.

He pressed the pen deep into the parchment, leaving a deep puncture wound in his hand that stung terribly good. Harry groaned softly and squeezed his cock until it was throbbing in pain, making him whimper. He noticed a smug little grin appearing on Umbridge’s face, probably because she thought he was whimpering from writing lines. Harry was alright with that. As long as she thought she was still punishing him, he could get off.

He tugged harder on his leaking member and flicked his wrist in just the right way, his hand speeding up as he gasped in need. He was getting so close! He swiped his thumb over the head of his cock and dug his nail into the slit, moaning loudly in pleasure as he came.

“Sweet Bastet!”

Harry chuckled and looked up at Umbridge to find her staring back at him in horror, her face incredibly pale and turning slightly green. The teen’s grin widened and his eyes, which were clouded by orgasmic high turned sharp again.

“Something wrong?” he asked innocently.

“get out of my office, you disgusting boy!”

“Does that mean the detention is over?” Harry asked with a pout.

“Get. Out!”

Laughing, Harry grabbed his bag and walked out, slamming the door behind him. He looked down at his hand and grinned at the sight of the crudely drawn penis cut into his flesh. He wondered if it would disappear again soon. He kind of hoped not.

.              .              .              .              .

For the entire weekend, Umbridge kept far away from Harry, much to Harry’s and his friends’ amusement. He’d told the others about his detention shortly after returning from Umbridge. At first, they had been disgusted, but after a little over four years, they were used to Harry’s strange behavior and his addiction to sex.

When Monday came around, so did the next DADA class for the Slytherins. Harry urged his classmates to go extra early, as he was immensely curious how Umbridge would be in her class after last Friday Night. He was humming the song of Katy Perry under his breath as he entered with the others and looked over to the front desk. Umbridge was doing her very best to ignore them all, which only made Harry grin wider in amusement.

“Wands away,” she instructed them all smilingly, and those people who had been hopeful enough to take them out sadly returned them to their bags.  
“As we finished chapter one last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page nineteen today and commence chapter two, ‘Common Defensive Theories and Their Derivation.’ There will be no need to talk.”

Still smiling her wide, self-satisfied smile, she sat down at her desk. The class gave an audible sigh as it turned, as one, to page nineteen. Harry wondered dully whether there were enough chapters in the book to keep them reading through all this year’s lessons. It was so boring.

Within five minutes of reading, Harry couldn’t keep his mind on his studies anymore, so he pulled out a pencil and started doodling in the corner of the book. When that too became too boring, he chose to jut rewrite the book, because he could already see way too many wrong theories on Dark magic in it. As a proud Dark Wizard, Harry was affronted by the text. Next to him, Theo shuffled around a little uncertainly while Draco glared at Harry in warning.

Professor Umbridge had noticed too, and what was more, she seemed to have worked out a strategy for just such an eventuality. Instead of trying to pretend she had not noticed Harry was messing around instead of reading, she got to her feet and walked around the front row of desks until they were face-to-face, then she bent down.

“What is it this time, Mr. Quinzel?” she asked in an annoyed whisper.

“I’ve already read chapter two,” Harry replied with a shrug.

“Well then, proceed to chapter three.”

“I’ve read that too. I’ve read the whole book.”

The pink Toad blinked but recovered her poise almost instantly.

“Well, then, you should be able to tell me what Slinkhard says about counterjinxes in chapter fifteen.”

Harry sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes as he leaned back, canting his chair on its two back legs.

“He says that counterjinxes are improperly named,” he told his teacher in a bored drawl.  
“He says ‘counterjinx’ is just a name people give their jinxes when they want to make them sound more acceptable.”

Umbridge raised her eyebrows, and Harry knew she was impressed against her will. He smirked a little and crossed his arms behind his head, giving the toad a lazy grin.

“But I disagree,” he continued.

Professor Umbridge’s eyebrows rose a little higher and her gaze became distinctly colder.

“You disagree?”

“Yes, I do,” Harry replied, who, unlike Umbridge, was not whispering, but speaking in a clear, carrying voice that had by now attracted the rest of the class’s attention.  
“Slinkhard doesn’t like jinxes, does he? But I think they can be very useful.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” said Professor Umbridge, forgetting to whisper and straightening up.  
“Well, I’m afraid it is Mr. Slinkhard’s opinion, and not yours, that matters within this classroom, Quinzel.”

She walked back to the front of the class and stood before them, all the jauntiness she had shown at the beginning of the lesson gone.

“Mr. Quinzel, I am going to take five points from Slytherin House.”

There was an outbreak of muttering at this and Harry started laughing.

“Go ahead. I don’t give a crap about House points,” he said.

Umbridge’s eyes narrowed in anger and hatred, making Harry snort in amusement.

“I’m sure you don’t, but your classmates do,” she said in a soft, threatening tone.

Harry cocked his head and looked to the side towards his classmates. None of them dared to make eye contact with him, making him smirk wickedly.

“I don’t hear anyone complaining,” he said with a shrug as he put his feet on his desk.  
“Let’s try again, alright. Take more points from me until one of them speaks up.”

“Ten points from Slytherin,” Umbridge hissed.

Harry laughed again and sat back up straight, grinning wolfishly at his disturbed teacher.

“I still don’t hear anyone,” he said before glancing at Draco and Pansy, who sat on the other side of the aisle.  
“Drake? Pansy? You guys are the Prefects, right? Shouldn’t you guys be giving the proper example and shut me up?”

Pansy pressed her lips tightly together and shook her head, looking incredibly pale.

“We’re not stupid, Quinn,” Draco murmured.

“Exactly,” Harry agreed darkly before focusing back on Umbridge.  
“This is _my_ school. I _own_ this place. You’re trespassing, and I’ll only let you go so far. If you want, give me detention again. I don’t mind letting you watch me rub another one out. I bet you haven’t seen a real dick other than Fudge’s wrinkled nub.”

“You indeed have detention again, but _that_ will not be repeated,” Umbridge spoke in a shaky whisper.

She looked incredibly pale, which only seemed to amuse Harry further.

“In addition, a hundred points off from Slytherin. Class dismissed.”

Harry shrugged and packed his bag together again. He got up along with his other classmates and walked towards the door. While no one was paying attention to him, Harry slid his wand out of his pocket and cast a quick mirroring curse on Umbridge in passing. Almost instantly, the toad-like teacher dropped her papers and tripped over her own feet, crashing down on the floor as she couldn’t catch herself. The entire class laughed loudly in amusement and walked out with sneers and insults towards the pink bitch.

.              .              .              .              .

When Harry arrived back at his detention, he found Umbridge at her desk, trying her hardest to write some letters, but failing to do so with her switched movements. Her quill was grasped tightly in her shaky left hand and she was deeply concentrated in putting the tip in the inkwell, but didn’t seem to be able to at all.

“Is this a bat time?” Harry asked chuckling.

Umbridge’s head snapped up and she turned bright red in anger and shame as she saw Harry standing in her door.

“ _You!_ ” she seethed.  
“You did this! Undo it now!”

Harry cocked his head innocently and grinned.

“I have no idea what you mean~” he said teasingly.  
“I’m just here to write some more lines. Where’s that amazing little quill of yours?”

That seemed to be the last drop as Umbridge slapped her fist on the table, only, it was the wring fist, so all she really did was stab herself with her quill.

“OUT!” she roared.

“First I have to come here for detention, and now I need to leave? Jeez! Make up your mind, woman!”

With a last mocking huff, Harry turned away and walked back towards the dungeons. This had worked out way better than he had thought, and now Adrian wouldn’t be able to complain about him not showing up for practices.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry masturbating during his detention was one that was requested by several of you, among whom were Veinto, Fenrix_Shadowbane and Aiso. Thank you so much for the suggestion!
> 
> The mirroring was an idea of Kalilah. If anyone doesn’t understand yet what that means, Umbridge’s left and right have been switched, but her sense of direction is still like before, meaning that whenever she wants to go left, she’ll go right and the other way around.


	92. A/N PLEASE READ THIS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I know everyone hates Author's Notes, but this is really important, so please give me a chance to explain.

Important message

I have come to a very unfortunate conclusion yesterday, that will likely not sit well with most of you. I realized I can’t continue writing my stories.

The reason is actually quite simple: Writing isn’t just a hobby to me, it’s my life. It’s the only real outlet I have. My entire life, I’ve lived in my head, and that won’t ever change. The outside world is only one thing to me, and that is the cause of stress. However, through writing I could open up in ways I never could in any other way and I have been using it since I learned how to write.

I actually still have stories lying around I made when I was seven years old, and I still read them every now and then when I feel particularly nostalgic. But that’s not the point.

The point is that I lost that part of myself lately. Over the past couple of months, I’ve been feeling miserable and strung out and I lost all my will to continue. Writing had become a _cause of stress_ instead of a _stress reliever_. I didn’t write what _I_ wanted anymore and instead I started writing what I thought others would want to read.

My stories have become empty to me. They don’t fill me with the sense of pride and accomplishment they used to.

I have always told myself that I don’t care about what others think of my writing, that I write for _me_ , but that hasn’t been the truth in over a year. I started looking for praise to make myself feel better about the hollowness my stories instilled inside me, but all it did in the long run was suck me dry.

I need to rediscover my love for writing again, and that can only be done in one way:

I need to stop posting them. At least for now.

No, this isn’t goodbye forever. I’ll start posting my stories again eventually, but I can’t tell you with certainty when. Maybe it’ll take months, maybe it’ll take years. All I know is that it won’t be soon. I need time to find the meaning of my stories. Of my _Life_.

I hope you can all understand this is important, and that I am not doing this out of spite or anything like that. You have all been nothing but supportive and kind, and I am truly grateful for all you have done for me.

I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you in return.

I **will** come back eventually, but I can’t promise I’ll come back specifically to this story, so instead, I’ll post all of the ideas I had for the continuations of them. Perhaps one day, I’ll be able to finish them, or someone else will take them over. These stories I shared with you aren’t truly mine anymore anyway. They’re _yours_ now.

Please take care of them for me. I put part of my being in them, no matter how small a part it was. I put my heart and soul in every single word I put out for you guys.

I love you, and thank you.


	93. A Magical Christmas

Harry breathed in the thick smog of Blütbad with a grin. Christmas break had finally begun and Harry was going to spend the whole first week with Dick. He deserved some low time with his buddy after all he’d been through at school the past couple months.

It had taken three days for Umbridge to get used to living a mirrored life, so that had been the moment Harry lifted the curse and set the woman’s world right again. After that, she had needed another three days to get used to that again. It was pretty hilarious, even more since she still kept giving Harry detention and made him write lines. By now, _I must not cause trouble_ was cut deeply into Harry’s hand, along with some other thin squiggly scars and drawn dicks.

Only a week after that debacle, the news had come out that Umbridge had been named High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, which meant she could evaluate and fire any teacher she deemed necessary. So far, Trelawney had already been given the slip, and so had Hagrid, even though he hadn’t even been at the school at all. Harry wasn’t all that concerned about it though. Grubbly-Plank was a good teacher, even though she wasn’t as reckless or gave them dangerous creatures to work with.

Meanwhile, Harry’s recruitment had gone pretty well. Luna had given Draco a list of all the Ravenclaws she knew had connections with the Dark and the Malfoy Heir had focused on winning them over while Harry worked on Slytherin. Hufflepuff and Gryffindor had very few Dark witches and wizards, but Blaise was set to the task to seduce them over. As the grandson of a Veela and a Vampire, he was perfect for the task.

Next to all that, Harry had started dating Cho Chang. They had already reached second base and there usually was a lot of heavy petting involved in their make-out sessions. Which had made it extra precious when they were caught in the middle of it by none other than Umbridge. They had both been subjected to a week’s worth of detention and Umbridge had instated a decree forbidding any student from ‘inappropriate intimacy’. As revenge, Harry had hid a neon pink Fwooper in the woman’s office, but it had been discovered in less than a day and pets had been prohibited to leave the dorms with the exception to owls.

Now, however, it was finally Christmas Break and he no longer had to look at that ugly pink face of his new teacher. Not that Harry was planning on letting the bitch live for much longer. Really, it were only his own masochistic tendencies that had allowed the toad live this long at all, but he had already decided she’d be dead within the first week once school started up again. Maybe right on that first day…

A honk of a car horn had Harry shaken out of his fantasies of poisoning Umbitch’s food at the Welcome Feast in January and he looked up, finding a black limousine waiting for him, the back window rolled down to show Dick and Gabe waving him over with bright grins on their faces.

“Harry!” Dick said happily, jumping on the other teen the second Harry entered the limo.

“Missed you too, Penis!” Harry laughed, earning himself an indignant growl and a playful swat.

“Stop laughing at my name, you ass!” Dick muttered, though the corners of his mouth still tugged up.

“I can’t help it! All I can think of is sex!” Harry defended himself with a chuckle.

The other two boys rolled their eyes with fond amusement and they all settled again as the car started driving them towards Wayne Manor.

“So, how was school?” Gabe asked curiously.

“Learned some cool new magic tricks?” Dick joined in, his eyes glinting eagerly.

“It was alright,” Harry replied shrugging, thinking over what was safe to tell his friends.  
“There’s this major bitch teaching Defense now. She won’t let us use magic at all, says we don’t need to be able to protect ourselves, since there’s nothing dangerous.”

Both muggle boys scoffed loudly at that. They all knew better than that. It made Harry grin and he leaned back in the black leather seat, his arms placed behind his head as he grinned smugly at his two best friends.

“Also, I got a girlfriend,” he said.

Shocked at the revelation, Dick and Gabe gaped at Harry, who’s grin widened even further.

“You… a girlfriend?” Dick asked blankly.  
“As in a monogamous relationship?”

“Yup!” Harry replied cheerfully, popping the P obnoxiously.  
“She’s a real special gal! Stole my heart with a pretty smile in an instant! I never thought this could happen, but here I am, and I still can’t stop thinking about her.”

He sighed dreamily while his two friends stared at him in silence for several long moments.

“She won’t put out, does she?” Gabe eventually said, smirking knowingly.

“Stupid bitch is one of those abstinence until marriage types,” Harry answered in an overly cheerful tone.  
“But I’ve been slowly chipping away at her resolve. Already got to boob groping in closets. I’ll have her V-card by the end of the year and then I can move on.”

“You’re terrible,” Dick sighed, making Harry and Gabe laugh.

Harry grinned wider and wrapped his arms around the shoulders of his two friends.

“I missed you guys so much!” he sighed.  
“It’s as if our world was put on pause for half a year because of a writer’s block…”

“… What the fuck are you talking about?” Gabe asked confused.

.              .              .              .              .

It didn’t take much longer for the three friends to finally arrive at the Manor. The limousine stopped right at the front door, where Alfred and Bruce were already waiting for them with bright smiled of their own. As soon as the three teens had walked over, Bruce stepped forward and clapped Harry on the back in a friendly manner.

“Welcome back, Harry,” he greeted jovially.  
“How was it at school? Didn’t get in too much trouble?”

“My new teacher is demanding my suspension, but the Headmaster doesn’t want to let me run free,” Harry replied with a snicker.

Next to him, Gabe burst out laughing while Dick face-palmed. Bruce just chuckled fondly and ruffled the criminal teen’s hair, making Harry purr in pleasure at the feeling. There was nothing better in the world than feeling nails gently scrape your scalp in his not-so-humble opinion.

“Well, I’m sure Dick would be ecstatic if you ended up coming back to Gotham High,” the man said.

“No, I think he better stays there. Harry would get me suspended along with him if he came back,” Dick replied with a grin.

“Are you saying I am a bad influence?” Harry gasped mock hurt.

“Dude! Everyone says you’re a _terrible_ influence! And they’re right.”

.              .              .              .              .

Gabe and Harry both spend the next few days leading up to Christmas with Bruce and Dick. It barely took a few hours in their stay, however, before Dick noticed the scar on Harry’s hand. They were all in the living room, helping decorate the seven foot tall Christmas tree.

“What the hell is that?!” he asked shocked, grabbing Harry’s hand to examine the back.

“It’s a scar,” Harry replied, shrugging lightly as he pulled his hand back.

“And how did you get that scar, Harry?” Bruce asked, walking up to examine it himself.  
“It says ‘I must not cause trouble’. Is there a reason for that?”

Harry frowned and allowed the man to look at it a little while longer. However, when Gabe and Alfred started crowding him too, he grew agitated and pulled away with a huff.

“Stupid bitch the Ministry send to our school to teach us Defense,” he muttered annoyed.  
“The moment you so much as look wrong, she makes you write lines in detention.”

“And exactly what does she use to make you write lines?” Bruce asked suspicious.

“A blood Quill,” Harry replied shrugging.  
“It’s illegal to use on kids, but everyone’s too afraid to report her.”

Dick snorted and crossed his arms, glaring amused at Harry.

“And why haven’t you done anything?” he asked.

“No way _you’re_ afraid to report her,” Gabe agreed, laughing.

This had Harry grin and he grabbed the sparkly golden star. It was the centerpiece of the tree, which would be placed all the way on the top.

“I jacked off every time she made me write with it,” he snickered.

Gabe chuckled and shook his head, while Dick and the two adults looked horrified at the admittance.

“Besides, if I did tell anyone, they wouldn’t believe me anyway. For some reason they think I’m a liar.”

“I wonder where they got that idea from,” Dick muttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“No idea!” Harry chirped happily, tapping his wand on the star to make it glow brightly as if it was a real one.

“Have you tried anything else to get rid of her?” Gabe asked curiously.

Bruce and Alfred narrowed their eyes in suspicion as Harry grinned darkly. However, both Gabe and Dick seemed to grow excited at the prospect of hearing about all the mischief Harry got up to while tormenting his evil instructor.

“All kinds of things!” Harry told them eagerly, levitating the star up to the top.  
“I swear, she’s out within the _week_ when school starts again.”

“Is any of it legal?” Bruce asked with a sigh, already suspecting the answer.

“Nope!” Harry replied cheerily, popping the ‘p’ annoyingly loud.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Almost-Christmas!  
> I know it’s been a long time since I posted anything for this story, and this is probably a very disappointing chapter, since it’s so short and nothing really happens, but I promise the next one will be more exciting again!


	94. REWRITE PENDING

Dearly beloved. We have gathered here today to say goodbye to this story. Or at least this version of the story.

Yes, you read it right. I’ve lately become unsatisfied with this fic. I feel like I left too many plotholes to keep going, so I have decided to rewrite. In fact, I have already started! The first few chapters should be up soon, so look out for that!

There will be a few major changes though.

 **Ginny will no longer be a ghost**. The improved plot has no need for her anymore, and I don’t want to stuff her in there uselessly.

 **Hailey’s name will be changed**. The canon daughter of Harley Quinn and the Joker is named Lucy. At the time that I chose the name Hailey, I was unaware of that. To be honest, I like the name Lucy better. I only chose Hailey for the likeness with Harley and Harry.

 **It will no longer be set in the Arkham Games universe.** Instead, the plot will revolve around the animation series of Young Justice. Since we hadn’t reached the moment the games start in the timeline yet, I think there won’t be much change in this aspect, though I figured I should let you know.

 **The timeline is no longer abstract.** Before, I left the years up to you to interpret like you wanted, however, in this rewrite, Harry will be born in the year 2000. It will be clearly stated several times in the chapters to avoid confusion.

That’s all that I have decided so far! I hope you guys are as excited as I am!  And thank you all for the support you’ve given me so far. I love you guys so, so much!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think about it in the comments below :)


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